The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 58 - The Americas

Episode Date: November 9, 2011

Bad House Guests, Turtle Legs and Mister Fusion. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, mates! Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Sitting opposite me is my co-host, Carl Chan. G'day, dickhead! We're back in the country. Welcome back, dickhead! Back on home soil. The opposite of Bon Voyage. Great, this great sunburnt land of ours.

Yeah. Got off the plane on Sunday morning and kissed the soil I did. That's it. After meeting the guy with the sign that said, Daslow crossed out with Allsop, crossed out with whoever you are. Allsop, two L's, two P's. Yep. I rode that guy's limousine all the way home.

Yep. Thanks for joining us again. We are back from overseas. We hope you enjoyed our little episodes we did with our new American pals. limousine all the way home. Yep. Thanks for joining us again. We are back from overseas. We hope you enjoyed our little episodes we did with our new American pals. Got a couple of housekeeping matters to get to up the top. First of all, big announcement straight out of Dum Dum HQ. We are doing our second ever live episode.

It's going to be December 4th at Soft Belly Bar in Melbourne. On a Sunday? On a Sunday, yep. Get on board. Anyone, if you guys were at our last one that we did, you know it was a lot of fun. Who did we have? We had Will Anderson, we had Hannibal Buress. We had Hannibal Buress. It's going to be great. This one... More special

guests. We've got a few surprises. Bigger and better. Is that what the people are saying? Well, bigger they're saying. Okay. Yeah. Well, in the same sized room, but you'd hope there'd be more. What if there's less people than there were last time?

No, there won't be. What are you talking this down for already? Jesus. That's odd of you to say to me. There'll be more. Okay. Well, okay. Come down.

It's going to be fun. Also, if you are in Melbourne and you're on this the day it comes out, you can see us at the Harvest Festival in Werribee on Saturday, November 12th, 3.30 to 4.30 on the Campfire Stage. We're going to be doing some of our little skits, some of our little comedy fun with Josh Earle and Xavier Michaelides, good friends of the show. If you've heard them on here before, you'll know that they're great.

Come down and say, hey, mate, and, you know, have a beer with us and watch Portishead and the Flaming Lips. Yeah, yeah. After our set. If you're ever sick of watching kids in the kitchen, you can come and watch us instead. What the hell is kids in the kitchen? Isn't that what people listen to these days? No. Who are kids in the kitchen?

Is that anything? Yeah, that's like an 80s band. Oh, is it really? A ridiculous 80s band. That's a bad name. Sorry. That's a terrible name for a band. Well, it's like an 80s band. A ridiculous 80s band. That's a bad name. Sorry. That's a terrible name for a band. Well, it's not my name.

Really? Just relax. I'm really taking that personally. All right, I'm going to think of a better reference. I'll have one by the end of the episode. I just got into a band whose CD I got overseas called Penguin Prison. That could be one of the all-time worst names for a band. Isn't that shocking?

That would be a bad name for a video game, let alone a band. Penguin Prison. Yeah. I think he's gone for that. Like, he's gone for that video game thing. If that came free, yeah, if that came free with a PC, I wouldn't play it. Yeah. So, no guests today.

It's just the two of us hanging out because we haven't seen each other for a little while. That's it. This is just a big dum-dum catch-up. Bizarre how we went from being in each other's pockets, in my case, literally in your pocket, for a good, what was it, three weeks? Yeah, so we travelled in LA, Vegas, New York together, and then we've had a couple of weeks off, and now this is the big reunion. Yeah, you got out while the getting was good, and I hung around New York like a bad smell

for another, about a week and a half. That's it. Yeah, so how's it been since you've been back? I'm still a little bit jet-lagged. I'm still. That's it. Yeah. So how's it been since you've been back? I'm still a little bit jet lagged. I'm still not quite over it. Yeah, well, I've been back for two weeks and I'm still a little bit jet lagged. Oh, so that's something to look forward to. Yeah.

Well, I did that thing where when you come back, I don't know if this is the thing that you do or not, but... Can I just say, we sound like such wankers right now. Yeah, well... When you come back from overseas uh when you're flying a plane i don't know if you little idiots out there have ever experienced something like this but uh um so what i know you probably did a similar thing to me maybe not but uh i flew out of new york at about lunchtime so you're up for a few hours you fly out lunchtime

take six hours on the flight i think six hours yep You fly to LA for six hours, then you get off at LAX, and then you sit there for six hours. Yep. And then you get on a plane, and then you fly for 14 hours. Yep. So I did all that, and the thing was that I set up as late as I could. But I'm sure you all already knew that. Yeah, yeah. You're all accustomed to flying from the east coast to the west coast, and then back to Australia.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, if you're in showbiz. So I got, I sort of timed it like I set up as long as I could. So I was really, really, really tired. And then by the time I went to sleep, I slept about eight, nine hours or whatever it was. And I basically woke up at about five in the morning Melbourne time and we landed at nine o'clock and I sort of thought, oh, I've beaten this.

I'm all good with this. See, this is the thing about long distance air travel and jet lag in general. Everyone reckons they've got their own solution. You know, when you come back and you're tired, like some people will go sleep right now. Just go to sleep, take sleeping tablets, sleep for four days. Other people will go, no, no, stay up until June. Just kill yourself right now and you won't have any jet lag.

When really there is, you're at its mercy. There's nothing you can do about it. There is no solution. Well, I don't remember ever really being at the mercy of it, but this time I thought I'd beaten it. I thought this was like the perfect plan. And I even thought I was fine. Like I got out of the plane, I got through customs.

I'm like, this is perfect. I'm like, I'm going to go and do some laps at the airport or something. I'm fine. Some laps. Yeah, I'm fine. I've beaten this. I'm easy. A few laps to clock off the holiday.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Three left to clock off the holiday. Yeah. So I get on a Skybus, you know, Transport of Champions, and I get into Southern Cross Station in Melbourne, and then I get onto the train that I need to get onto to go home, and I get nearly all the way home and go,

oh, there's something that's missing. Oh, that's right, the hundreds of kilos of luggage that I have brought with me from the Americas. And so I panicked and then jumped on the train and went straight back and was looking for my luggage. And they were like, oh, I don't know, I don't know. And then I went to Lost and Found. They had it. And they go, yeah, you're the guy that, you know, the guy was sitting on the platform and he just watched you. And you were sitting on your luggage.

And then you just got off and wandered onto a train and they went, well, he could be a terrorist, but he looks way too much like a dickhead. Like that's no terrorist, no self, you know, regarding terrorists would do something as stupid as that. The security footage of you doing that. Sitting on his bomb. The security footage of you doing that is going to be like the new treat at the Connex Christmas party. Do you know what I mean?

They're all going to sit around and go, look at this guy. And there'll be a bit of boy-oy-oy-oying when you stand up and all that gear. Yeah. Well, when I went and asked for it, the woman was like, oh, this guy. And I went, look, I know. I'm a dickhead. And she goes, good. I'm glad you said it.

I'm like, yeah, okay, whatever. So I'm like, oh, that's awesome. Because I had a lothead. And she goes, good. I'm glad you said it. I'm like, yeah, okay, whatever. So I'm like, oh, that's awesome because I had a lot of luggage in there. So I get on the thing and I get back on the train. I'm like, wow, I really was a little bit affected. I don't feel affected, but I must have been affected. So then I got home and went, got off the train again and went, oh, I left all my duty free on the train this time. Oh, are you for real? Yeah, yeah, that's for real.

What the hell is the matter with you? I'm an idiot. This is the thing I found travelling with you. You are a child. You never know where you're going. You have no idea what you're doing on a minute-by-minute basis. But it is appropriate that that happened because that... In my head, I'm a lot smarter than this.

That is appropriate because it's kind of a fitting way for you to end the vacation because listeners, if you've listened back, if you've been keeping up, will know that you, when we first set off, you left your passport at home. Yeah. So it's like the perfect kind of brackets around the holiday. I've bookended my dickheadness between here and America. See, I didn't have a... Yeah, I got pretty jet lagged, but I did that what you did. I went from the East Coast to the west coast to home

and had all that stopover in LAX, but I did it in an even dumber way. I flew from Boston to LA, which is sort of the same distance from New York to LA. It's meant to be about four and a half hours. But for some reason, our plane stopped over in Kansas. So we went down like sort of halfway through, and then half the people got off the plane and then more people got off the plane.

So I got on the plane and then we took off again. So it was just like we were on a giant bus, like a giant flying bus. But just doing that added three hours onto the flight. So then I get to LAX and thanks for your tip, by the way, from your Facebook account. We've talked about In-N-Out Burger, California's great burger chain. There is a parking garage not far from Los Angeles airport that has a free shuttle bus. Yeah, thanks to the Qantas steward that gave me the hot tip. Did he really?

Yeah, yeah. I checked in like six hours earlier and went, what am I going to do for six hours? And they go, oh, you can catch a bus to a mall or something. I'm not doing that. You could leave your suitcases somewhere and then have to go back and get them and just do a few laps. Yeah, yeah. Just go chase random passports around.

Yeah. Yeah. He goes, well, here's the tip. You go down there and pretend you've parked your car at that garage a couple of kilometers away. Get on the free parking shuttle and jump on there and it drops you off outside of In-N-Out Burger. Awesome. Yeah.

Yeah. See, I did that too, but I just followed, I just knew from you, from the info. Yeah. And I got real paranoid when I was on the bus. Like, it's like, man, they're going to find me out. Like, cause everyone else on there obviously is like going to pick up their cars at the parking garage. Yeah.

So I got on and the guy was like, valet or not valet? I'm like, not valet. And I was panicking. I was thinking, what if I get found out? Am I going to have to buy a car in order to get off this bus? Do you know what I mean? Is it going to come to that? I jumped on trying to give a look as if I didn't speak English

just to make sure no one spoke to me. And I also got that thing. So I got my dinner. I got a burger there. And then I went for a bit of a walk, which it's a terrible area to go for a walk in. And then I went back and I thought, when am I going to be here again? And then got another burger. Just to give myself something to do.

Made myself really ill. Man, it was not good. You know what I did? I hung around as long as I could and just listened to people. And I sat next to these people. Because the In-N-Out Burger is right near the airport, and planes are flying in overhead, In-N-Out Burger, not very far overhead.

I don't know if you copped that a few times, jets going over or whatever. But I found it's obviously like a hangout for plane spotters. Because I can go there and get a bit of tucker. No, there are plane spotters. Is there such a thing? Well, I didn't know, but these guys were definitely plane spotters. Because two more different people there couldn't be, this couple that came up. And one was like this weird 60-year-old man that looks like he'd been a renegade from society for the last 40 years.

He had this ridiculous long ponytail and he looked like he was on the run. And then he was paired with like a 25 year old guy in a business suit. And I was like, this is some weird odd couple road movie or I don't know what it, or some really weird sting operation or something. But what I sat down next to him and they just started talking about the makes of the planes that you could see in the distance and going, Oh, you know that, you know, uh, Air West, huh, I don't

rate them. Oh, what is that? Never wash their planes properly. Yeah, I've noticed that. Yeah. Why don't they take the time to wash their planes? That is bizarre. I don't get what the, what's the appeal there?

What's the appeal with any of that stuff? Like there's train spotters. Does that make any sense? Like, I don't get, like, I don't know, like the plane spotting, all I would think is like, you're fascinated by air travel, but you can't afford to ever go anywhere. So that's like the next best thing. Well, what I don't get is it's like, it's not like bird watching where you go and go, oh, I wonder what I'm going to see today.

Oh, it's like, look up the bloody arrivals and departures and you know exactly what you're going to get. Are there timetable spotters? You know, are there any time Connex updates their timetable spotters? You know, at any time Connex upstates their timetable or they just downloading the PDF and going, Oh, get a look at what they've done to the Alamein. Passenger spotters hanging out for the plane door to open and go,

Oh, some sweet Swahili dude. Yeah. I'd understand that more. I would get that more, you know? Yeah. Well,

I also, uh, I also got rotten to pretty hardcore, uh, on my flight from LA back to Melbourne because I checked in so early. The guy was like, hey, because you're here so early, if you want, you can have a window seat in the emergency exit aisle.

And that's like two of my favorite things. The exit row, because you've got leg room galore. And I'm a little guy, but even being little, like the seats normally are still shit. Do you know what I mean? You can still be super short and not have enough leg room, right? So I've got, I love a window seat because I can only, I can't sleep unless I have a window seat. So I can, I'm thinking, yes, I can stretch out.

I can lean against something. This is going to be like perfect, right? And then I get on and what I forgot was the window seat in the exit aisle. It's got that like big bubble thing on the door that comes right out right over the window seat. So in effect, you end up having less leg room than if you were just in a normal seat. It was the worst. It was the absolute worst. Well, this is what...

Here's a little tale that is going to be one of those tales that turns this episode from a clean episode into an explicit episode. My finger was hovering over the button. Yeah. No, it won't be too explicit. It's more the subject matter, maybe. I'll try and tell this as cleanly as I can. And this is another plane-related story.

We're hot on the travel issue today. Boy, this is the most sizzle that any story has ever had on this show. You've chucked this one right on the barbie and just left it there for a little while to just... And not only that, but the plane spotters are going to be really happy about this episode. There's so many plane stories on this thing. The dum-dum spotters are going crazy right now. This story is literally marinating in its own juices. Oh, it's not bad.

Well, it's not bad. I think it's something. It's something. It's worth saying it loud. Even if I end up editing the story out, I'm still going to keep the build-up in it because this has been fantastic. This is going to cut to, oh, what else is happening? There's a newspaper next to me.

All right, what have you got? Let's have it. All right. I'm hungry. Look, we've explained what's happened. We've been together for a few weeks over there, traveling in there, and then I'm there by myself for a week or so. So we've been traveling for three weeks.

We've been without partners for most of it. I mean, you've seen your partner for a little bit. I haven't seen my partner. You're a traveling man. You're maybe a lonely man. You're without companionship. People have needs, things like that. You see where I'm going with this, right?

Yes. I didn't realize we were in prime time. I didn't realize it was 7.30 on Channel 10. Yes, well I'm trying to be in case my parents listen to this. This is like when you hear them talking about sex on Friends. Have they ever say we had sex? No, on the

Dick Van Dyke show or something. Anyway, the stalk, no, we're not there quite yet. So, you know, people have needs. Things like that, right? Yes. And you know, when you're in a lonely hotel room or a lonely room or whatever it So, you know, people have needs, things like that, right? Yes. And, you know, when you're in a lonely hotel room or a lonely room or whatever it is, you know, some people have needs. And, you know, some people, when they have needs, maybe they need a bit of visual stimuli as well. So some people have that sort of thing happening.

Let's just say I had my laptop on me, things like that. So I think I've painted the picture without, you know, having the name names or anything like that. There's broadband where you stay. There's broadband involved. You've got a reliable internet connection. All that sort of thing. So sometimes when all that sort of carry-on goes on, you may forget to get rid of things off your screen, stuff like that. Are we talking clearing the history or are we talking leaving the tab open?

I'm talking about the tabs being left open. So anyway. Yes. Cut to next day. Me getting on the plane, going home. Me getting a seat in between two 45-year-old women on the plane. I've got on there and thought, gee, I've got a six-hour flight in front of me. I'm probably half an hour to an hour into this flight, so time to do a little bit of

work, maybe. So I cracked the laptop open, opened that up, and immediately confronted by that image, by a couple of images like that, and gone to like toggle to get rid of it. Oh, and you know, that doesn't work. That just somehow makes it worse. I'm like sitting there. I mean, it felt like I was toggling trying to get rid of it for 10 minutes. It was probably only five minutes in the end.

But so I'm like going, oh, and I'm so embarrassed. Immediately I've just slapped the laptop closed and then gone, oh, I'm just going to get up and go to the toilet. I just ripped up and went to the toilet. We did take your laptop with you. No, no, no, no. But as soon as I get in the toilet, I realize that what these 45-year-old women have seen me do

is open up a laptop with a bit of sweet porn sticking out and then jump up immediately and go to the toilet. They're thinking I've just been so inspired by five seconds worth of porn and I've jumped straight into a cubicle to give myself a good going over. Some kind of animal who has no control whatsoever over your urges. So then I'm in this little cubicle realizing that and then going, hang on, I've got to go straight back. And then thinking, no, but that'll be bad because they'll think

I've seen like five seconds worth of back and then thinking no but that'll be bad because they'll think I've seen like five seconds worth of porn and then ripped in the toilet for five seconds and that's all I've lasted and then I've ripped back again so then I'm sitting in the toilet thinking

now what's now I don't want to be in here too long because that would be stupid to be there watching naked pictures and then jumping in the toilet for like an hour

and then they know definitely know what I'm doing so I'm like what is the I'm trying to find out what the grey area is an hour, and then they definitely know what I'm doing. So I'm like, what is the... I'm trying to find out what the grey area is of coming back and them going, well, who knows what he did? So, yeah, not long enough that it was obviously a long wank, but not short enough that it was obviously a...

Oh, sorry. Sorry, we could have been talking about anything. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Okay, and what did you settle on? What was the universally accepted time gap that you will land yourself? Like about a minute ten? Yeah, no one's doing anything in a minute ten.

That's just a grey area, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So they definitely saw it? Oh, it was, yeah, yeah. I saw there was jerking moments of arms on armrests and stuff like that. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard Qantas Flight 613 to Melbourne. We are beginning our takeoff on the runway. Please put your seats in their upright position, store your tray tables and close down any

red tube tabs you may have still open. Oh, brought my own in-flight entertainment. Oh, man. I'm a bit fascinated that, see, I mean, this is, I'm not saying, I mean, there are people that would think like this, like you. I'm not one of them. Being able to do, I know you're alone and, you know, you're traveling and without your partner and you've got needs. I would not be able to take care of myself if I was staying in someone else's house,

as we were. Oh, you're a good guest. Yeah. The person who, while staying in the house, I was probably going to listen to this show and not really appreciate that at all. That's just a gap. That's just a mental thing that I can't get over in my head. You know, I just, yeah, I can't do it.

You're a good house guest. Yeah, I am a good house guest. That's good. You can now officially come over to my house then. I won't have to worry about that. I do worry about that because people talk about, I don't want to dredge into this subject matter for too much longer,

but I do think about people talk about, oh yeah, I always go into the shower and, you know, do stuff like this. I'm like, okay. And then they'll stay over and I go, hang on. Are you in my shower doing what? What are you doing in my shower? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I mean, you've stayed on my couch before. Who knows if you were able to control yourself that evening? Well, I was naked when I was staying on your, I don't think I did anything. You don't think? You don't even know for certain. No, I'm pretty Yeah, exactly. I don't think I did anything. You don't think? You don't even know for certain. No, I'm pretty sure. I'd remember a thing like that. Wow, that is pretty spectacular.

I didn't have anything quite that insane happen on the way back. That's good. I hope not. Yeah, so there was another toilet-related little thing that happened to me in New York. I don't think it was quite as graphic as that. That thing in New York City, there was think it was quite, it wasn't quite as graphic as that, but that thing in, you know, New York, in New York City, there was just no toilets. Did you notice that?

No public toilets. There's no public toilets anywhere. So I had one of those days where I just had this curse where as soon as I'd leave the house, I would need desperately to go to the toilet immediately. And the rest of the day would be me going, you know, be coming up to lunchtime and I go, right, I want to find a sweet combo of getting a good lunch with a place that's got a toilet.

And you cannot, not every, not every food place has a toilet, which is unbelievable. So I'd go in and it'd be one of those things where it'd be like

one of this and one of that, oh, it wouldn't quite work out. You go and find a good food place, no toilet. Okay, well, I can't do that.

You find another place that's got a toilet, I'm not eating that crap. So I was trying to find this happy medium, and it was draining me. It was just wearing me down. I finally found the sweet combo where it both worked. The food looked okay. There was a toilet in there.

Awesome. So I ordered the food. Oh, that'll be five to ten minutes. No worries. I'll just go to the toilet. Went to the toilet. Toilet's not working. Men's toilet is closed and boarded up.

Boarded up? Yeah, boarded up. They've bought out the timber. There was a restaurant in a Hanna-Barbera cartoon. I'll be clear. Where's the toilet? Next to the mine shaft. So then I sort of spied off the women's toilets. And it's getting to a stage where, you know, nature is, you know, going to have its way with me.

Did anyone in the restaurant see you open up a porno before you went to the toilet? Yeah. An X-rated happy meal. It was one of them. So I was sitting there. I'm like, this is... And I was also getting mad. I was like, I've bought a $10 meal or whatever it is.

And basically, this has been included in the meal in my head a toilet a restroom stop yeah so i'm sitting there going okay i'm just gonna dart in there so i darted in there uh i went into the cubicle i sat down then immediately i hear this on the door and i I'm like, no way. I'm just going to ignore this. Bang, bang, bang, on the door again. Now I'm going to ignore it. And then this big voice going, who's in there? Is that a man? And I went, yeah.

I wish you'd have gone, no. I was thinking about it. I could have pulled it off. Yeah, exactly. And I go, is that a man? I'm like, yeah. And the guy goes, oh, thank God. And then he just ran in and jumped in the cubicle next to me and just did the most horrendous mother of all bodily functions

right next to me with all the sound effects with him going, oh, yeah. That's great. I had to see it because it is weird. I mean, yeah, like you said, for a city that is known as one of the number one tourist destinations in the world, people are leaving their houses and walking around that city all day. Yeah. And there's nowhere to go. Because, I mean, this has been discussed on the show before.

I have a weak stomach. I get sick very easily. When my girlfriend was in New York with me, we went to the Carnegie Deli in Times Square, which is sort of renowned for its massive helpings. And I got this, like one of their specialties, which is like this huge pile of corned beef with melted Swiss cheese over it. I finished half of it and then stopped. And like I stopped when I felt comfortable. You know, I could have eaten myself sick, but I didn't.

And felt happy with myself. Felt good. You know, was walking around for, like, three hours. Didn't feel full. Didn't feel sick. Felt just the right amount. I was like, I've done good here. I felt we learnt how to eat while we were over there.

Yeah. Because at the start, we were like goldfish. Yeah. Like, someone has poured three weeks' worth in the tank, and we're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a Labrador that's just been left with an unaccounted for pile of pal. Exactly. Gone for it.

You just eat it in the first day and you've got nothing for the rest of it. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, I felt fine all day and then I'm in Central Park and all of a sudden I'm like, oh God, I know what this means. And I'm up on the Upper West Side, which there's even less chance because like, you know, at least if you're in Times Square, there's like, you know, there's lots of shops and there's lots of, you know, restaurants and stuff. Up there, there's like, you know, there's lots of shops and there's lots of, you know, uh, restaurants and stuff up there.

It's like mostly residential. So I'm walking around the streets and like, I'm just like, this is just, I'm at, I'm at, you know, Defcon six or whatever, you know? And then I see this bakery, this kind of upmarket looking bakery. And I say to my girlfriend, look, I'm just going to have to go in here. We'll just get, I'll buy us, I'll just buy like a croissant and then we'll put it on the, we'll put it in the bin when we leave or whatever. I'll just get a bottle of water when we leave.

So it's all properly seated. It's not casual. It's a way to be seated. So we get seated. I just dart straight to the bathroom. There's a line as well. That was the thing I found too. Anytime you find a public bathroom, there's lines because there's nowhere else to go.

So I line and then I do what needs to be done. All of this takes about 15 minutes i go and i sit back down and alice is at the table and she's like they've come up to me like eight times and like really hassling me i'm like i'll just get a bottle of water to take away and we'll go and she's like no they don't have like bottle drinks like the cheapest thing on the menu is like a ten dollar croissant and i'm like i think that's us getting up and walking out of here. She's like, no, we're not doing that. I'm like, well, I'm doing that and you're welcome to follow me. So then just had to drag my poor girlfriend through the shame

of sitting there waiting for her boyfriend to be sick in the dunnies and then confidently stride out of a bakery without ordering anything. It was no good. You can never go back to New York again. Yeah, I've been barred. There was a, I had friends there. We met up with friends at different stages, both of us. I had friends there that, it made me a little bit jealous because, you know, you're in LA,

we're in LA, we're in New York and, you know, you sort of want a star spot, stuff like that. I caught up with some friends from Melbourne and they were like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. We've seen Mark Wahlberg, you know, down the street and we've seen this guy. They'd seen some big names. And all of a sudden I'm like, who have I seen? I've seen no one. I saw no one as well. Yeah.

But the only person, and you were with me, the only person I saw that is any part of a story is if you remember this. Yeah, I think you remember this. I think we talked about this on the show. Did we? Was this at Vegas or LA airport? No, it wasn't at all. No, no, no. This, I think you remember this. I think we talked about this on the show. Did we? Was this at Vegas or LA airport? No, it wasn't at all. No, no, no.

This is in New York. Oh. When I went into Foot Locker to buy some shoes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm sitting there trying on shoes and there's a guy sitting next to me trying on shoes as well. And then the referee guy, the Foot Locker employee walks up.

He's not a licensed referee. No, no, no. He's not an official referee. Yeah. So he comes up and starts talking to the other guy and he goes, are you who I think you are? And the guy goes, yeah. And he's like,

yeah, man. I got all your albums. Old school. Oh, they don't make them like that anymore. And he's like, yeah. He's like, yeah, man. I really love boys to men. So there you go. I was getting new Nikes next to someone from boys to men trying on a new pair of Asics. So that's my celeb spotting.

I don't know. I have the same thing where, you know, you go over and you sew. You have this idea that it's just going to be like, you feel like it's going to be like a theme park where, you know, all the characters that you want to see, all the celebrities, you're walking down the street, like, posing for photos and whatever. I think it's like, you know, the more you want to see people, the less, like, so my friends, my best friend's parents went over there, like, two years ago. They were in LA. And the dad is a massive Seinfeld nut.

And one night they were out for dinner and Jason Alexander was sitting, like, two tables away from them. Right. So he goes over and goes, oh, you know, I'm a huge fan from Australia. Can I get a photo? Gets a photo with him. A couple days later, they're doing, doing like the backlot tour at Universal Studios and someone comes out and goes, hey, we're filming a movie over there.

Do you guys want to be in the back of a crowd scene? So they ended up in a crowd scene of this movie and it's like, so the thing that would happen to your parents, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, parents don't want to be in a film. No, no, no. They just want to get photos of buildings and, you know, eat nice food. Yeah. They're not interested in meeting celebs. They just want to get photos of buildings and eat nice food. They're not interested in meeting celebs.

They just want to find a toilet. Yeah, this is the sort of thing you'd fall into. But yeah, that was disappointing. We didn't really see anyone. Yeah. That was a bummer. That was a total bummer. So let's talk about this.

This has been talked about on the show a fair bit. I finally caught up with my girlfriend in New York City. Saw her for the first time in three months. And it was good. It was really good. And then I ended up going down, like after she left New York, she was there for five days. Hang on, hang on, hang on.

Let's not just gloss over this. So how was the meeting? Was there some sort of running at the airport or some sort of slow motion embracing or how was it? No, it was more she doesn't have a phone over there at the moment through choice. Oh, that's right.

So she was flying in from wherever she was to New York. You were picking her up in just a small little hamburger of New York. You're going to run into her eventually, surely. But she doesn't have a phone. You say that like it's ridiculous too, but then the day after she got there,

we were walking around and we hear from the other side of the road, hey, man, and we look over and it's you. The size of that place, the notion that you could, anyway. But, yeah, that is pretty ridiculous. She doesn't have a phone, so you're supposed to meet up with her without a phone. Man, that's a nightmare. I wouldn't have even, I would have dumped her right there and then. That's too much stress.

Yeah. Well, I did think, so I got there a little bit late and she wasn't there. And then I had to, in my head, start going, well, if the plane's been delayed or whatever, you've got no way of finding out. So I'm mentally thinking, how long do you wait here before you check out and go, all right, that's it, I'm going home and I'll hopefully get a message from her on Facebook, you know, explaining whatever. And then as I'm thinking that, she rocks up.

Like, she's like five minutes late. But I'm already, that's how I am. I'm already in my head going, oh, well, this is a write-off. This has all gone to shit. This isn't working But I'm already, that's how I am. I'm already going, oh, well, this is a write-off. This is all gone to shit. This isn't working. I'm going home to Melbourne. Yeah. But I'm going to go and look up illicit material in the guest room where I'm staying.

But no, it was all good. It was great after that. It was fine. We had a really nice five days. We ate a lot. We went and saw the Dumb Dumb Girls. We saw our namesake, a band from, I believe they're from California, called the Dumb Dumb Girls.

And I've said this to you. I'm obsessed with the idea of trying to get them on this show because they're coming to Melbourne in January. Right. Even though I know they'll be too cool for it. How many people in their band? There's like four of them. Oh, okay.

They won't be funny. I just think the situation itself would be funny. It'll be a good title to look at on iTunes. Exactly. That's what you're saying. I love the idea of doing something for the most tenuous of reasons. So we see the gig. Everyone remember not to download that episode when they see that come up.

Just admire the title. Well, I've already got it. I've already put the wheels in motion. Oh, God. Because we went to the concert. I got very, very drunk. And then we were in the bar downstairs after the gig, and the lead singer was just sort of walking around.

And my girlfriend goes, hey, you should, you know, you were saying you wanted to ask her about doing the show. You should go and, like, ask her now. So I go, that's a great idea. So I i run up behind her and it's already bad to start with because she's walking away from me and so i kind of effectively have to like chase her through this you don't have to like go up behind someone like there's not a natural like face to face like so i end up having to like run up and like grab her from behind and go hey hey, you dumb, dumb girls, and the gig was good, and I do a podcast called Dumb Dumb Club, and when you're in Australia, would

you like to come on? And she was like, yeah, send us an email. That sounds good. But the way she was looking at me was as if I had said, hey, would you like to come and have a threesome with me and my girlfriend? It was that level of just concern and disgust and discomfort. We'll never see those people again. I'm going to make it happen. I'm starting the campaign right now and have a threesome with me and my girlfriend? Like it was that level of just concern and disgust and discomfort. We'll never see those people again. I'm going to make it happen.

I'm starting the campaign right now. What, threesome or the? Either or. Oh. Yeah, so what, you had five days? Five days in New York. Yep, yep. And it was all left nicely and everything good?

Yeah, it was all left. Well, then she left and then I was meant to be in New York for another week and I sort of, you know, I was getting a bit sort of, you know, I was liking it there, but I felt like maybe I should go and see something different. You know, like I was like, I wanted a bit of a change of scenery. I wanted to recharge. I started to take New York for granted a bit. I wanted to get out and then get back and kind of look at it with fresh eyes again.

And then I just started thinking, I'm like, how many chances do you get to go to Disney World for free? Cause that's where she's, if you're just listening now. Oh, so you chased your heart and your five-year-old heart and you went to Disney World. So yeah, that's the story. For those of you that are just listening, I don't know why you'd pick this episode as your first one, but she's been working at Disney World for three months. That's where she'd come from to hang out in New York.

I hadn't planned to go there. And then I just thought, you know what? I'm going to do it. I like rides. I like theme parks. I hadn't planned to go there, and then I just thought, you know what, I'm going to do it. I like rides. I like theme parks. It'd be fun to see. You know, it's an experience. And look, there was a big part of me thinking, at the very least,

you'll get something for the podcast. Even if you go and it's a nightmare. I'll get drunk. I'll start hitting up some chick. I'll say, hey, Snow White, if you're in Australia, I've got a podcast. Yeah, that's my spin-ff podcast, The Snow White Show. So I went and I was really into it when I booked the tickets and I was excited and whatever.

And then I got down there to Orlando Airport. And your girlfriend's hamming it off with Goofy. There's a Disney bus that takes you from the airport to the resort. But because it's a Disney bus, you get on and there's a there's a Disney bus that takes you from the airport to the resort but because it's a Disney bus you get on and there's like a video that plays like when you're on the bus yeah yeah yeah

and it's like footage of all these like parents telling their kids we're going to Disney World and the kids like going yeah and the narration's like the memories that your family

are going to have for a lifetime begin right now and it's all this you know sentimental family stuff and there's just families and kids on the bus and then know sentimental family stuff and there's just families and kids on the bus and then me on my own and i suddenly just got gripped by this like cold sweat where i went the fuck am i doing like i just i freaked out like i was like i've left new york to come here

what am i am i mental like what is wrong with me but then you know i saw my girlfriend again and it was actually great like it was i can happily report, you know, I saw My Girlfriend Again, and it was actually great. Like, it was, I can happily report that, you know what, no matter what age you are, Disney World is fun. It is good. Like, I, because you know what? What's good? What do they do? What's the difference between Disney World and Disneyland?

It's the same thing, but Disney World's like, Disney World's like big. Disney World's like five parks. Right. In like this one big peninsula. Right. And then Disneyland is just like its own one little theme park in California.

So, yeah, I mean, it's good. In my head, I was thinking it was going to be like Movie World or Dream World, where everything's a little bit shit and a bit run down. But everything in Disney World looks like it opened for a place that's been there for 40 years. Everything looks like it opened yesterday.

It's really easy to buy into. All the rides are really fun. Although I will say, there are a lot of rides there that, you know, are obviously, you know, there's good roller coasters where you go upside down. Like, there's an Aerosmith ride that's really cool. You know, that classic Disney. What?

You know, Disney's Aerosmith, that classic film. But there's a... Wasn't that the first one? Steamboat Aerosmith with Mickey Mouse How's that fit into it? Steamboat Tyler It's in the Hollywood Studios bit The set up is like

You're Having sex with women It's like you're in a The car that you're in is set out like it's a limousine And then you're in this big warehouse And it's all dark and it's like you're driving on the freeways in LA to get to their gig. And when you get, and when you're getting to the start of the ride, the attendant comes up and goes, if you don't mind just walking this way.

Oh, yes. Wow. They've really missed out on that one. I really liked the ride until I realized that they dropped the ball so massively on that part of it. Um, so, you know, there's stuff like that. There is stuff that, you know, there's like a sort of a Tower of Terror kind of thing where you're in an elevator shaft and you drop.

And there's stuff that's, you know, adult and quite scary. But then there's stuff that is clearly pitched towards young kids that is in its own way horrifying. Like the Bon Jovi ride? Truly. There's a Winnie the Pooh ride, right, that we went on because, you know, whatever the line was short and, you know, you want to give everything a crack, why not? So it's one of those things where you're sitting in a little

four-person cart, so it's me and my girlfriend and then a woman with her kid who would have been, like, maybe two or three, right? And it's one of those rides where you're going on little tracks and, you know, like the... Don't you have to have, like, isn't it, don't you have those, like, signs where it says you must be this tall? No, no, but that's the thing. This ride is, like, more specifically aimed at young kids. You can take babies on it. Like, it's all, you know you have those like signs where it says you must be this tall? No, but that's the thing. This ride is like more specifically aimed at young kids.

You can take babies on it. Like it's all, you know, it's Winnie the Pooh. Yeah. So it's like you're going through a little storybook and there's a little audit. So a lady, a lady had a little, a little kid with her and there was also that other lady that you're talking about with the baby. Yes. Yeah.

Good get. Yes. We got there in the end. So you're going through and you know, it's one of those ones where, you know, there's all the little robots of like Winnie the Po Winnie the Pooh on the side doing this. And then you drive past and there's Tigger doing that. You know, those kind of rides. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a bit of that going on. And then in the story of the ride, Winnie the Pooh goes to sleep. And then you go into this room where it's like you're in Winnie the Pooh's dream. And it's like Winnie the Pooh has done acid. It is terrifying. It's a dark room. There's all these fluoro snakes that jump out at you. The carts start shaking.

There's smoke machines going off. How is a three-year-old cop in there? I've never seen a kid go more crazy in my whole life. It was, like, screaming. It was, like, you know, bawling its eyes out. The mum was, like, trying to comfort it. It was awful. It was, like, who in their right mind, designing this ride,

thought that this would be fun for kids? It is crazy. You know, last year, I went to, what's it called? Universal Studios. And I've never been a big ride person. I've never gone on rides. They just don't interest me. Not that I've been on them and gone yawn. I just look at them and go, yeah, that's for

someone else. So, we went there. My girlfriend really wanted to go there and look at all the tours and whatever. I'm like, okay, well, we've paid our entry. I'm going to do all the rides. So we did all the rides, which basically consisted of driving along in a straight line for a fair while. And then basically someone picking up the cage we were in and throwing it around for about three minutes. And then there you go. There's the end.

It's like, oh, what was that one called? Jurassic Park. Oh, yeah. I saw a dinosaur at some stage just before I had to be put into a neck brace. I guess that's something. Yeah. I think Jeff Goldbloom punched me in the kidneys before we walked out or something. The cage being shaken around is to symbolize when that little kid gets electrocuted on

the fence when he's trying to climb over. Right. Okay. I give it its juice. Jeez, you are no good at rides. You're not even trying to get into the subtext of it. I didn't even appreciate while I was being rattled around like that. Okay.

So I did all that. Whatever. You know, it doesn't scare me. You know, you're just being hurt physically. You know, you're just rattling back and forth against metal at some stage. Okay. All right. Well, that's that.

The best bit, the only scary bit, I think, of those rides, you know, those rides, they're not rides. Like, you a haunted house and it's like, it's not like a haunted ride where you go through and there's animatronics happening or whatever. It's one of those things where you walk through a house and people just jump out and scream at you like actual people. Have you ever done those things? That's the best. Right.

It's the only thing to do. Yeah. Okay. You go in there and they dress up as zombies or whatever, but they go, um, you're just walking along and there's obvious corners where you go, oh, someone is going to jump out and just get me right now, and then

someone will jump out and get you, and you go, oh, no! And then there's a long, there'll be a long passage where you walk all the way along and you're like, oh, there's no one around here, but I know someone's going to get me, and you walk up and then someone just chases you and, yeah! And you're like, oh, I just wish this will end. but I know someone's going to get me. And you walk up and then someone just chases you. Yeah! And you're like, oh, I just wish this will end.

I've never been nor have I ever seen one of these rides in a theme park to the point where I'm thinking maybe you got lost and just ended up in a crack den. Knowing what you're like with directions and wandering around in general, it would not surprise me if you were on the complete other side of the city to Universal Studios in a meth lab or whatever. It was just my house. I was looking for my passport and stray cats were chasing me. It was your own dignity and self-conscious jumping out at you and reminding you what

a fuckhead you are. But it's awesome. It's the only sort of ride to go on, I think. Because there's a human element. Yeah. It's not bad. But they are consciously told, like you know they're consciously told, like they can't touch you.

So you know that no matter what they do, they'll chase you, they'll jump at you, they're not allowed to touch you. Because they make that very clear at the start. And then there's actually, you know, a disclaimer that they obviously have to put on there. They go, they're not allowed to touch you, nothing's going to happen, don't worry. You're not going to get raped, it's alright. Do not, do not punch the people. Do not punch the zombies in the face. Do not deck any of the demons that come up to you.

See, I think, and I'm obsessed with this. Because that's a natural reaction. Because someone scares you, there's a reflex where you're like, they go, boo, and you go, bang. But that must have happened at some point. That must have happened so many times. That's a classic thing where, you know, that warning wouldn't be there if someone hadn't done that.

Oh man, they told us and you're aware, but you still want to do it. Yeah, right. As soon as someone scares you or do something like that, the first thing you want to do is like hit them or whatever. It's basic human instinct. It's human nature. Yeah. So that just happens the whole time.

You're just trying to withhold punches the whole time. That's good. Yeah, I'm obsessed with that. Like there's heaps of them at Disney that are not suitable for children at all. We went to, you know how they'll have the 3D movies where you're watching a screen, you're wearing glasses, but then stuff also happens in the theatre to make it more 3D? Yeah. So we went to the Bugs Life one, and there's a bit where the bad guy from that Bugs Life

movie, the big cricket or whatever he is, comes out and he's like, you humans, you've been doing this stuff to bugs for too long. We're going to, you know, how do you like, how does it feel? And so like on the screen, there's a can of like Mortine or whatever the equivalent is. And then smoke just drenches the cinema. And then all of a sudden it's like, you know, the thing in the back of your seat comes out and jabs you in the spine. And there's the sound of bees buzzing.

Kids are crying. My girlfriend's grabbing me going, can we get up and leave? I'm like, I don't know. I can't see the exit. And then there's the thing of like maggots are coming at you and like your seat starts, like these weird things start poking you in the ass on your seat. It's horrendous.

And it's meant for kids. Like we were the oldest people in the cinema without kids by about 20 years. Like it's horrendous. It's awful. It's good years. Like, it's horrendous. Jesus. It's awful. It's good, though. Well, what about this?

Hey, can I just quickly, because we've talked a bit about our adventures with food over there. Yeah. There's another thing I saw in Disney World that I didn't see anywhere else. The big snack of choice in all the different theme parks at Disney World, what everyone's getting around eating, turkey leg. Just, that's the big thing. Is that an actual? Literally like Fred Flintstone style, just people walking around with just a big bone, just chewy and fat and juice just bursting out of it every time people take a bite. It does not look appealing in any way.

They're eating a real turtle leg. Turkey. Oh, I thought you said turtle. I was wondering why you were in such disbelief about it. I was like, I understand, you know, how they've got the turtle leg. Like, they're obviously not hard to catch. Yeah. Why?

Turtle leg, wow. Do you reckon anyone's ever eaten turtle? People eat crocodile. They mustn't be any good because, I mean, you could catch them as easy as anything like they'd be extinct by now sure yeah good point okay turkey okay all right turkey leg it's a big just that doesn't blow my mind at all caveman style right yuck i mean you know we got into some pretty pretty intense shit when we were in la with all the burger joints but man i draw the line i draw the line walking around eating off a bone in the humidity too.

You know, it's hot and you're already sweating. Not in public. You don't want to be holding a bone of any form in public. Oh man, it was just, it really got to me. It's a bit base. Just, yeah. And like, I thought, I saw it and I'm like, as if anyone does that. And then everyone you see come lunchtime, everyone's just like, I'm not going to, what

am I going to do? Sit down and eat a burger and chips like an idiot? I'm going to walk around with a bone. Like a baby. I'm going to walk around with a bit of dead animal and just gnaw on that while I'm not going to, what am I going to do? Sit down and eat a burger and chips like an idiot? I'm going to walk around with a bone. Like a baby. I'm going to walk around with a bit of dead animal and just gnaw on that while I'm waiting in the line for a haunted mansion. I'm going to find the last cubic inch of surface that isn't covered in turkey grease and make sure I cover that up.

Finish the clock the job. Well, are we back into Melbourne yet? Are we, you know? I reckon we've exhausted everything. We've covered the Americas. We've covered the big trip. Oh, can I just say quickly, I went to Boston and I had two instances of being oddly racially profiled. See, I don't know if you found this with the African-Americans over there, but I felt like obviously there's tension between, you know, the whites and blacks over there.

Is there? Well, you know, there's a long history. Okay. I've heard of it. I've read about it. Yeah. I feel like as Australians, we kind of get like a free pass. Like we almost don't count as white.

Yeah. You know? So like I'm in Boston. I'm walking around on my own at night and this guy comes up to me and gets right up in my face, like right up in my face. This black dude. He's like, yo man, nice hat. Where'd you get your hat, boy?

Where'd you get your hat? I'm like, New York. He goes, that's a nice hat, boy. Where you from? Where you from, man? Where you from? And I'm like, Australia. And he goes, oh, shit, Australia. Here, let me give you my demo, man. He just gives me a copy of his demo CD and then

tries to get my phone number so he can send me more of his music. You know what I mean? He was trying to have a go at a cracker. Didn't realise it was a bloody... But did you hear that theory that we were hanging out with an Australian comedian that's based overseas, Brendan Burns? And he had a theory that Australians get along very well with the African-Americans in the United States because of how cool Mick Dundee was in Crocodile Dundee

when he got out the whole, this is a knife sort of jazz. Okay. I was like, oh, these guys, these guys have got it going on. They know what knives are. Yeah. You know, they're cool for the next 30 years or so. So we got a ghetto pass. Yeah.

Thanks to Paul Hogan. It was nice. Yeah. It was nice. I didn't feel like there was any kind of, it was good. But then, so a couple of days after that, I went and visited my friend who lives in Westborough, I think, which is like an hour out of Boston. So I'm staying with them and they've got kids

and then her sister was there with their kids as well. So there's a kid, one kid's called Owen. He's a boy, he's seven. And then there was Caroline, who's also seven, right? And this kid Owen is just staring at me for like, because it's a weird thing. Like I'm just there to visit my friend and, you know, explaining. You're chewing on a turkey bone.

Explaining a visitor with an accent to a kid is, you know, it's kind of a weird thing to grasp, you know, at a real developmental age, right? So this kid Owen is just staring at me for like five minutes and I'm just eyeballing him back. I'm like, I don't care. What's up? What do you want?

And then after like five minutes, he goes, where did you come from? And I go, oh, I'm from Australia. And he goes, okay. And then Caroline, also seven, turns to him and goes, I told you he wasn't from Africa. I thought my skin would have told you that. But anyway. Yeah. You look like a real African.

Yeah. Oh, they say the darnest things, don't they? Kids Anyway, that's it That's it for America That was it It was a good experience How did you find How did you

Okay, I want to get to this What was the worst thing about travelling with me? The worst thing Nothing in particular It's just that thing where you don't want to Because I've got a list of about 20 to That's fair enough No, but you just travel with anyone for like a long amount of time Nothing in particular. It's just that thing where you don't want to... Because I've got a list of about 20 to... That's fair enough.

No, but you just travel with anyone for a long amount of time. It's like, let's just do something else. Yeah, it's hard. It's like anything. It's like being in... It's like any kind of relationships, like living together. Everyone, anytime people do anything, everyone likes to do things in their own subtly different little ways. We've been traveling for two weeks together,, a couple of times I'd get up and

just go and wander in New York and then you'd be texting me going, hey, let's meet up for lunch. I'm like, why? Why are we meeting up? We've spent two weeks together. I'm just going to go and do my own thing. I've seen you for a fair while. I know what you've been up to.

There was a time when we were waiting for the subway and you just got on and I couldn't fit on and the doors just closed and you just left. You just left me there. And then, and then you had the key to the apartment we were in. I get the train. No, no, but just remember that when the train took off, you stood there like someone that had just been dumped in a relationship and just looked sadly at my face on the train while I'm mouthing, see you mate.

But then I get the train back and I'm thinking, oh, he'll probably be waiting for me at this time. Hang on, it's Carl we're talking about. So then I get off. I get the train. I get to the apartment. And, of course, you've got the key. So I'm at the front of the apartment.

I'm calling you and you're not picking up your damn phone. And then I'm like at the front and I get a text from you going, hi, I'm currently overseas, which is why I'm not answering my phone. Is this an inquiry about one of the comedy gigs I run in Melbourne? And I'm thinking that that is something that you would do as a joke. So I'm like, what a rotten asshole. Is this guy for real? So I'm like fuming out the front and it's raining.

I'm like, how long is he going to leave me here before he comes in? And then someone happened to be going into the apartment building, so I just follow them up. And then I walk in the door and I'm like, that is one of your worst. And you're just looking at me like, what? I'm like, are you for real? What do you think, what? And that was like the, that was, that was the,

I think that was the day before my girlfriend, it was like right before my girlfriend got, it was right before we split up. Yeah. That for me was the point where I was like, I'm ready to not do this anymore. I was like thinking that the whole podcast was in jeopardy. Like maybe we'd never be able to work together again after that. I was wondering, why is this person ringing me? It wasn't coming up as your number in my phone.

I'm like, who's this? It was a good, it was a good send off. So we're back in Melbourne anyway. We're back home, guys. Yeah. Yeah. But this is what I did on the weekend. So I've been doing stuff while I've been in Australia.

I've been doing stuff. On the weekend, I went to the Astor Theatre in St. Kilda. Is it St. Kilda? I think it's St. Kilda. Yeah, it's in St. Kilda. You know, it's a cinema known for playing old movies. Yep. Playing, you know, a bit of new movies, but mostly old classic movies or pop culture-y

sort of movies and stuff like that. Wasn't there, correct me if I'm wrong, wasn't there a story previously on the podcast about you going there and seeing a fight or something? Seeing a fight? Someone getting kicked out for being drunk? Oh, yeah, I did too! Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you've got a long, you've got a colourful history with out for being drunk? Oh, yeah, I did too. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so you've got a long, you've got a colourful history with the Astor Theatre. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we went there because one of my friends wanted to go there, and so we went along, and it was the Back to the Future trilogy, and I went in there to watch the third one, and we got there, and they said there was an ad in the paper for it, saying, oh, this is on on the weekend. Cool.

Come along. Special prices. I'm like, oh, easy. You go in there, it'll be even less than usual, because these movies have been on a million times. Go there. The special price was $30 for one movie. What?

For $30 to see Back to the Future 3. What? Yes. Wow. The special price. Instead of saying special, you should say way over the odds price. It's not special. Well, it's special for how expensive it is. It's a specially shit house.

It's because it's the third one. They've just tripled it. No, but the rest of it, you could see that all of them for $80 or something, but you could see one of them for $30. Even all of them for $80 is like. Yeah. It's like, it was on a Saturday night. If you had a stayed home,

they were probably playing the trilogy on channel 10 for nothing. Bought the Blu-rays for less. For way less. Like the only worst deal you could have gone there and they could have stung you a hundred bucks to see Uncle Buck, Billy Madison and a few episodes of MASH or something. There are people though who would pay that. Yeah, but those three movies are really overseen movies.

If you've been hanging out in the afternoon, smoking a few cones, and then you got to 7 o'clock and saw that, tell me you wouldn't just be like, money's not a project. Not for $80. Yeah, no, I'm talking about your hypothetical. Oh, right. A few episodes of MASH. No, I wouldn't do that.

That is a rip. Yeah, I wonder if anyone went. Yeah, you know it was full. What? What's the justification? Is it some crazy new print? Because it was a charity for a charity. Oh, you left that out.

No, but I wasn't going there for charity. I'm not interested in charity. I was going there to see Back to the Future 3. That's good. So it was for a charity, and surprisingly, it wasn't to save the clock tower, although it was for something else. It was for Parkinson's disease, which I presume had something to do with Michael J. Fox, maybe. But yeah, so it was fine, but it was good.

I haven't been to one of those movies where people just basically sing along with the lyrics or whatever. Oh, yeah, so it was, it was fine, but it was, it was good. I haven't been to one of those movies where, um, people just like basically sing along with the lyrics or, you know, everything that happens is like, yeah, it was like fanboy city. Cause no one goes to those things saying it'd be like 90% of that audience would be people that have seen it a hundred times. Yeah. Like barely anyone goes to those things saying it for the first time. That's it.

People were there dressed as characters. Oh, wow. They had a DeLorean out the front. People were dressed in all the memorabilia. People had actually traveled through time, especially to be there. Yeah, exactly. People were making out with their mothers

in the past at the movie. Wow, full on. So it was funny because I was with a few friends and the guy that invited us, it was his birthday, that's why we were going there. And he was, you know, it was like, oh, I a few friends, and the guy that invited us, it was his birthday. That's why we were going there. And it was like, oh, I'm a massive Back to the Future fan and whatever, and let's go along and watch this movie again.

And we were walking out, and he was talking to this guy that had a Mr. Fusion T-shirt on. You know what Mr. Fusion is, obviously. It's the little thing that makes the time machine work and whatever. Yeah, you know what that is, Mr. Fusion. I am going to cop to having not seen any of those movies. What? Yep. Are you for real?

Yep. You've never seen Back to the Future? I've never seen them, no. Man, I have not seen... It's been on my list for ages. Oh. Yeah, I know. I know.

I'm not rapt about it. I'm not gloating about it. You notice I try to just go along with it? I try to just, like, pretend. I know. I think I asked you about four times about Mr. Fusion. You gave me some sort of weird nod. Well, I kept

saying yes, thinking that I'd just be able to gloss over it but then the way you were asking me made me think there's going to be a test at the end of this set. I'm going to get caught out eventually so I may as well just saddle up now. Oh, that's weird. I shouldn't say it's weird because I've not seen a lot of movies that people go,

wow, really? I've never seen Titanic. I've not seen a lot of movies that people go, wow, really? I've never seen Titanic. I've never seen most of Indiana Jones. Yeah, I mean, no one talks about Titanic anymore. Right. Oh, can I just say quickly on the Indiana Jones thing? Went and saw the Indiana Jones stunt show at Disney World. And, you know, those kind of things where it's like a little Indiana Jones play happening.

I don't know what you're talking about. Have you ever seen those kind of stunt show things? You haven't seen the Police Academy stunt show? No, no, no. I understand the concept of stunts. Yeah, so it's a big guy pretending to be Indiana Jones and he jumps over stuff. There's a guy in front of me filming the entire thing

on his camcorder. What are you filming the whole thing of that for? You know what I mean? Are you getting there on a Friday night and going, let's get a DVD? No, don't worry about that. Let's just chuck on the Indiana Jones stunt show. Yeah.

I'm going to go down and do a bit of gaffering, a bit of best-boying down at the stunt show. So anyway, there's a guy wearing his Mr. Fizzle T-shirt or whatever it was. Well, you're taking the sting out of the story because this guy I thought was some obsessive about, you know, Back to the Future and whatever, and he's talking to this guy with a Mr. Fusion fusion t-shirt on and we walk away and go oh

yeah it was called mr fusion he's like what's that he's me what do you what do you mean what's that you've seen this movie a million times you don't know what mr fusion is now what's that what's the thing that makes the time machine work you know the thing that sticks out of the back of the you know when they they don't need to use that radioactive material anymore. They use that little thing that says Mr. Fusion. He's like, oh, that, I thought that was just like a bar mix or something. So this has taken the stinger because you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm glad that I fronted up because otherwise you would have just been going, oh, is it

that this guy didn't know? And I'd be like, yeah, what a turkey, what a turkey leg. So it just sort of seems like your life since you got back from America has just been a disaster. You're forgetting your luggage. You're getting stung 30 bucks for a movie. Yeah, it's a tough life.

Let's go back. Let's go back. Let's just go to the toilet a lot before we go back. Guys, that does bring us to the end of the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thanks very all. Guys, that does bring us to the end of the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thanks very much, guys, for listening.

We hope you enjoyed our little wrap-up. We'll be back to business as usual next week. Put December the 4th at Soft Belly Bar into your diaries. Come see us at the Harvest Festival doing stand-up November 12th, Saturday, 3.30 to 4.30 on the Campfire Stage with Xavier Michaelides and

Josh Earle. Thanks for listening. Twitter at Dumb Dumb Club. Facebook, we're on that. Email us littledumbdumbclub at gmail.com and we'll see you next time. See you, mates!