The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 60 - Steven Gates

Episode Date: November 23, 2011

Petrol Face, Ethnic Recognition and Bob Franklin Impressions. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, mates! Welcome into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Sitting opposite me is my co-host, TV's Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead! Thank you very much for joining us, everyone. We do want to remind you once again, if you are in Melbourne, you can come to our live episode recording at Soft Belly Bar, Sunday December the 4th. We're lining up some special guests and lots of surprises. 5pm in the afternoon.

And here's what we want you to do. You know the Wikipedia vandalism thing? People have been sneaking references to us into other people's Wikipedia pages. And getting better and better at it, I reckon. Getting better and better. There was some good sex author work after last week's episode. Someone got right on that. Keep them coming.

Take a snapshot. Email it to us, littledumbdumbclub at gmail.com and we're going to read out our favourite ones at the live episode and that's going to be a lot of fun. Yeah, keep them private so we get to do a nice reveal on the day. Yeah, that'll be fun. So if you could basically help us out and write our content for us, that'd be

really great. Now, Carl, before we get going, I'm a little bit damaged this afternoon. I was in a shopping center earlier today with a friend of mine, and we walked past, you know, they've got those setups in malls where they've got all the different facial creams and all that sort of stuff? No. You know how they'll have the shops, and then they'll have the little thing in the middle where it's like people just handing out samples. Oh, okay.

They hand out a sample and we sort of take it. Yeah. And then suddenly you're in a conversation about buying the stuff before you've even tried the free sample, right? So she gives us this stuff and we kind of take it. And then she starts asking us, she's like, you know, what do you use on your face? Like what kind of, you know, scrubs do you use on your face when you wash? And we're like, oh, this Nivea stuff or whatever.

And she goes, well, that's doing no good for you because your skin is terrible. Both of you, your faces are terrible. Oh, really? And just starts smashing us, me and my mate going, see, look at this rash here on your neck. That's awful. And that's, you know, because the stuff you're using, there's like petrol in it and it's doing that to you.

And look at, look how awful that is. Look at your neck. Look at the top of your forehead. And we're like, this is a curious technique. This is a curious sales technique to just insult us. And then. And make up new ingredients. You're rubbing petrol on your face.

Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. I think there's a little bit of creative license going on there. There's a live bird in what you're rubbing on your face. It's pecking your face. No wonder your face looks so crap.

So she just smashes both of us for about five minutes. And then she gives my friend some hand cream. She's like, try this on your hands. Try this. So he r about five minutes. And then she gives my friend some hand cream. She's like, try this on your hands. Try this. So he rubs it on. And then she points at me and she goes, now smell his hand, smell his hand. And I'm like, no, she's like, no, smell it. So then I lean in and just go, and then we both start laughing. And she goes, why are you laughing? What's funny about this? Why are you laughing? And my friend Pat just goes, I'm laughing because he's smelling my hand. So what I take away from that story is that you're buying, you're spending all this money on facial cream and there's all like, you know, petrol and stuff in any way. So don't bother mate, just go down to Shell,

nick a bit out of the Bowser and just hook yourself up at home. Yeah, just go and get yourself two cents worth every day. Exactly. And it's free. Exactly. Just on the way to work, just drizzle a little bit on your scalp and you'll be done. That's the advice I took away from that. Yeah, that's good. All right, should we get into it?

That's it. Well, I'm just worried about the petrol companies and whatever. Apparently, there is a way of restoring your face just water-based as well, but the petrol companies don't want you to know about that. Well, you might notice that I've kept the lights off in the studio because I'm so self-conscious about my head now because I've been told that I've got rashes galore. Today on the show, we've got a very special guest. He's a good mate of ours.

You may know him as the Hot One from Superdrip Tripod. Don't say that. But that's it, isn't it? That was a ruin. That really busted my ass at Spleen the other night. That was terrible. All right. Well, let's bring him in.

Let's welcome him to the little dum-dum club, Stephen Gates. Yay! Hooray! Clap for yourself. I got really bad skin, by the way, too. Oh, really? Was it proactive? No, it wasn't even proactive.

It wasn't even a name plan. Was that Jessica Simpson in the mall today? Is that where she is? My girlfriend got me some proactive, the whole thing. And, you know, I don't know. She netted out the thing later, I don't know. But that stuff is like petrol and it actually sucks the meat out of your face. Really? Like that's how full on and powerful it is. Wow. It sucks away your soul.

Where does the meat go? I don't know. Into the air. It sucks away your soul. Where does the meat go? I don't know. Into the air. It vaporizes your face meat, I reckon, and it just... See, this is the thing about it, though, and I didn't want to say this, but we're talking about it a bit more now. The woman pitching this stuff to us was quite leather-faced. Yeah.

You know what I mean? It's always a bit of an hug. Because I would never... Yeah, exactly. I mean, I'm never that critical of people, but the minute she started going us on our faces, then I, in my head, went, well, if this is the game we're playing, I'm just going to get hypercritical on you. And I was like looking at her head going, look at your bloody,

look at your. In your mind. You look like you need some petrol. That's obviously what's missing. You were doing that in your mind. Yeah, I did in my mind. Because you're so nice. Yeah.

You were just, you were carving her up in your head. Did you have a bit of acne when you were younger? Yeah, I always had my mind. Yeah, because you're so nice. Yeah. You were carving her up in your head. Did you have a bit of acne when you were younger, Gatsby? Yeah. I always have. And I still got it. I always have a massive spot. Did you ever go on the – because, you know, like when I was in high school and some people had it real bad, the thing that Roaccutane stuff

that you could go on, like the real intense acne medication that you can do. And my friend had it real bad and he went on it. And there's like a huge list of side effects. Like it can really – some people don't – like you can't. And my friend had it real bad and he went on it. And there's like a huge list of side effects. Like it can really, some people don't, like you can't drink when you're on it. And, you know, most people are going on it when they're like, you know, sort of 16, 17. So starting to go to unsupervised house parties and stuff. My friend was like, no, I haven't, I haven't had any side effects. There were meant to be some, but I haven't had any.

And then one day we're like walking along to a party and he just stops and goes, oh no. And I'm like, what? And he goes, oh, I just got a bit of dry anus. I'm like, what? Oh, no. He goes, yeah, that's a side effect. I'm like, yeah.

I was thinking about maybe going on it, but I don't reckon I will now. My anus is going to get involved in this. You need petroleum lubing that up. So he was walking along the street and he had to stop dead in his truck. Yeah, yeah. I just got myself a bit of dry anus. He just literally ran out of petrol. He couldn't go further.

You're fixated on this petrol thing, aren't you? I am. I'm fascinated by the idea of people rubbing petrol on their face. If I didn't know any better, if I was just listening to this show, I'd be thinking, do they have a new sponsor? Yeah, yeah. Is Shell buying ad dollars on this show? Shell's bought me out.

I've sold out. So you took offence just then to being intro'd as the hot one? I didn't take offense. The audience did. Ah, okay. Because it makes it sound like you've said that to people? No. I mean, Danny McGinley did a great job emceeing.

So this is at Spleen, comedy at Spleen last Monday. It was my first spot in the real world as a stand-up whatever because I've been working with Tripod for 15 years. And they kicked you out. Yeah. No, we'll get on with it. Well, when Danny intro'd you, he kind of used- Danny McGinley, friend of the show.

Yeah, yeah. He used a weird choice of- Mr. Qualifier. You're the qualifier. Oh, well, I barely even know what you guys are talking about. I'm thinking I'd better explain it to someone. Fair enough. Fair enough.

So you're doing your first stand-up gig. Danny McGinley is introducing you to the audience. Yeah. And he used a very odd kind of choice of words where he sort of said, oh, yeah, you know, he used to be the hot guy on Tribot. He used to be on Tribot. Oh, that's right. And the audience is there going, hang on, has he been booted out?

Yeah. Is it bipod now? Is this what's happened? No. It was just the look of absolute disappointment when a 39-year-old guy walks out. And, you know, the audience at Spleen are pretty handsome. They're pretty cute.

They're a young, young bunch. They're a young bunch. And so I walk out as the hot one or once was or whatever, and you could just see their face dropping. Yeah. I was on my back foot the first mile. Danny, Danny McGinley sort of thing, man. All their faces dropped.

They needed more petroleum. Yeah. You got one more in you. Cha-ching. One more left. I'm going to have half an hour off. At the end of the show, I'm going to think of one. Well, one more. We filled up the quarter of 25 for the hour, so that will be fine.

Well, you know what happened at the front of Spleen? There was two people. As I was going into Spleen last week, you were a special guest. We didn't tell anyone you were on. Tom Gleeson was on, and there were two people, as I was going into Spleen last week, you were a special guest. We didn't tell anyone you were on. Tom Gleeson was on, and there were two people walking past, and I thought, oh, this is all right. I'm allowed to say it to two people. They'll go, oh, I don't know whether we'll go in. I said, you should come in here.

It's a great night. Not only that, but we have got two special guests. We've got Tom Gleeson, and we've got the hot one from Tripod. Yep. And the girl goes, oh, the one with the glasses? I was like, oh, really? Is that how it works? Because I'm like, I presumed that that's how it would work,

but what do I know? It's almost like mentioning my name in Tripod is kind of like it cancels out because I'm the least recognisable one in the three. Because Yon, Yon, people cross the street to go, and Scott's got a great look and he's on the telly a lot, but I am the least recognizable. So it's like, oh, tripod, tripod. And you can tell there's 10 seconds of processing.

It's like, oh, oh, yeah. Oh, oh, yeah. That's, yeah, that's the guy. So you wouldn't get as many. So I've just got to stand there silent for about 10 seconds. Wearing your tripod t-shirt. Playing guitar, going, I'm the one out of tripods. Showing a poster of myself. With cardboard cutouts of Yon and Scott next to you.

That should be the opening if you're doing a solo show in the festival. You should have a song called I'm the Hot One Out of Tripod just to let everyone know what's happening. I would describe myself as the generic one because maybe when I was 25 I had some kind of game but not so much. The one without any gimmicks, no bald head, no glasses. Yeah. No accessories.

Thank you. Look at you, Carl. Look at you with you. The forgettable one. Yeah. Oh Look at you, Carl. Look at you with your- The forgettable one. Yeah. Oh, poor you with your full head of hair and your perfect eyesight. Oh, what a loser. You got no hook.

It did come in handy because Melbourne, not so much, but Brisbane, we would get recognized a lot because we walk along like a posse would, like a street gang would. Those guys don't want to hang out with you, but you need them to be recognized. So you're like, oh, guys, let's go to the park and play Frisbee. On my favorite Brisbane, we were walking near the valley, the railway station there, and we were getting a train in the city. And some young guys goes, oh, it's those guys. It's those guys off the telly.

It's those guys off the telly. That's what they say. Anytime. And it's the tripod. And it's going, who is it? And someone says, a tripod guys off the telly. It's those guys off the telly. That's what they say. Anytime. And it's the tripod. And someone says, it's a tripod. It's a tripod, tripod. And we're going, yeah, that's it. And as we're walking away, one guy just goes, you guys are gay.

I love that. While there's enough distance between us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are we going to do anyway? That's a great Brisbane accent you do as well. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, thank you. I was about to point out midway through,

I do like any time someone tells a story on this show about people coming up to them in the street, the person is always faintly ethnic in some ways. Yeah, he's slightly woggy. Hey, you're that guy from Tripod. It's Tripod. It seems to be Greek people notice a lot of things about our guests. Yeah, it's a wog tinge.

That's what it is. Yeah, well, they're always up for just going up and approaching, whereas, you know. Yeah, us skips. Us skips. That's what it is. Well, they're always up for just going up and approaching, whereas, you know. Yeah. Us skips. Us skips. We just look at stuff and keep moving. But I come in handy.

I've got to like a, my genericness is sort of like a superpower because in the same, you know, in a place like Brisbane, if we want to go see a movie together or something, there's no point us all lining up because we'd get hassled. This is like, we're talking 2000s, when we were big. Yeah. When we were ascending. Skid house, huge times, heady times. Yep.

But instead of us all three lining up for the tickets and getting hassled, I would go, look, I'll just get them. You're the decoy. They'd wait outside and I'd go walking in, stand'll just get them. You're the decoy. They'd wait outside. And I'd go walking in, stand in line, buy the tickets, go back outside. Come on, boys, let's go. Right. No hassle, nothing.

Hard day's night style. Yeah, yeah. The opposite of. But I would imagine you would have that thing. I imagine those guys having that sort of distinctive look, they would get any guy who's just seen him for six seconds on the telly. Whereas I would imagine you, if people approach you, they're like, are they like the more kind of full on super fans?

Yeah. Which I guess is its own kind of, is that a weird, intense thing? Like, do you get? I don't know. I think it's weird. I think the weird thing is when they talk to you like they're talking to the group, but they would go, you guys are great. Hi, guys, how's it going?

They would actually say. They think tripod is like fight club and it's just the other two are your imagination. So how are yous going? It's weird. It's very weird. We were talking on the show last week, a couple of weekends ago, we did stand up at the Harvest

Music Festival. It was the first time performing at a music festival for us as the Dum Dum Club. Tripod have done a fair few music festivals in their time. How do you find it? Because it was weird for us doing stand up, but you've at least got the music thing. Exactly. Which I imagine makes it a bit easier. Yeah.

I can't imagine. thing, which I imagine makes it a bit easier. Yeah. I can't imagine. I mean, you know, stand-ups do like stadium gigs, you know, like where, where it's inordinarily those venues are full of like, you know, music fans and stuff. Yeah. That kind of makes sense. But yeah, at a rock festival, it's sort of, it's very weird.

You have to be shouty and loud and none of this subtle talk, hey. Yeah. How's cake and stuff. Like, it's not. But what in tripod. That stuff at a comedy club, that'll kill. Yeah. Oh, yeah. How's cake and stuff. Yeah, yeah.

Unless you're saying how's cake like you're talking about the band because they're on the band as well. Oh, of course. How's cake? Yeah! Exactly. I think the worst one of those outdoor type gigs, though, because some of them go really well, most of them, but we did a Scout Jamboree.

Oh, yes. And that was the first time I met Harley Breen. He was emceeing, and he was great. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Friend of the show. Friend of the show. He gets very upset when he's not friend of the show. Really?

Yeah, yeah. He needs friends. He's friend of everyone. We mentioned him on the show once without saying friend of the show. Really? Yeah, yeah. He needs friends. He's friend of everyone. We mentioned him on the show once without saying friend of the show, and we heard about it for about four months afterwards. Good pick up, because I would have let that go, and we would have been in for a whole other raft of trouble with him. But what a dude.

But he was great talking to the kids, because it was like thousands and thousands of scouts and girl guides, I guess. And we went on, and it it was kind of a nightmare. It was like the worst huge massive group of people kind of paying attention but kind of not, it was just, it was insane. So you didn't get your badge after that? No.

Really? No. You didn't get your recognisable person in tripod badge for the day. Back in my day, you guys get fucking kicked out. I find the Scouts like such a weird thing that it exists here. Because to me in my head, it's like so American. Yeah, right. Because I never did it or never heard of anyone doing it when I was growing up.

Like, so I never, you know. My dad did. It was sort of like little army reserves. Yeah. That's what it was. You know, they wore a uniform and they got to tie knots and shit. Yeah, I think that was it for me. When I was a kid, I loved that idea of going out and doing stuff and there'd be people

saying, let's do this, let's do that. That's awesome. And then it was like, you got to wear this. I'm like, ah, time out. Yeah. I might watch cartoons. We had cadets at my high school and that was like, you know, you'd go and do all that sort of army stuff.

And the kicker was if you're doing it, you had to wear your army gear around school. So we're all in uniform and there's like kids in camouflage, which just makes you look like an absolute dickhead. Actually, I hope Charlie doesn't see me bloody drawing a map of Asia in geography class. Otherwise, I'm cooked. That was the other thing. That was the main thing that put me off going in scouts because then you'd have to hang out with people that are in scouts. Yeah.

Yucky. Anything like that, there's one person who thinks it's kind of a fun, cool thing to do, and then there's a bunch of nafties who are playing video games too much and their parents are just trying to shove them out the front door. Yeah. There was no fun people in scouts. Yeah. I've got the shit kicked out of me in my street for just having a school uniform on.

Imagine if I just turned up with a scout uniform on. I'd be in trouble. How do bullies take offense to you wearing a school uniform? Bullies from a school that didn't have to wear a uniform. Exactly. Poofed as paradise, mate. Again, ethnic tinge. But who's like, why?

Like that's such a weird thing for like a bully to be jealous of. Who's jealous of having to wear a uniform? In all fairness, it was a great house across the road from me was like full of foster kids. And it was sort of a- Ethnic foster kids. Yeah, yeah. A revolving door in that place.

Yeah. But so, and I was going to this private school. So I was the rich kid in the street, you know. So yeah, no, no good. I see. And I had the BMX, you know. All right. Whoa.

Your Greek dad didn't abandon you. No, exactly. Don't, don't. That hurts. So have you been, like there's scouts? I was in a – my parents had a bit of a Christian phase. Uh-huh, right. And I went to what they call junior high, which was the youth group church thing.

And that was the thing, like hanging out with scouts. Hanging out with Christians when you're 14 or 15, that was mental. What did you do? What were your activities? Because you're walking with an open mind. But young Christians, who cares? I might get blown up. Young Christians in the mid-'80s were assholes, basically. They just, because they were superior.

They were superior to everyone else. Yeah. And they, you know. I think that still happens, by the way. Well, of course. I'm sure. Religion hasn't gone out of style in the last 10, 15 years. They haven't, like, revamped it.

But are they still assholes? There were a couple of Christian kids at my high school when I was in year 12 who were real. There was one guy in particular who was really like, so what'd you do on the weekend? Did you go out to a party? Did you go and get drunk at a party? And we were like, yeah, we did. Oh yeah.

And did you have a good time? Of course we did. We were drunk and we made out with chicks. Of course we had a good time. Oh, well, yeah, I guess that's pretty good, isn't it? But in that really passive aggressive way where you're just like going yeah I'm telling you it was good yeah you're trying to tell me that it wasn't but I don't see what the problem is here when I wanted to because the introduction was

this camp junior high camp and I knew I was just I knew who what kind of person I was when they there was a singing grace bit and the grace, I want to thank you, Lord, because you are good. We want to thank you, Lord, for this food. And they thought that was a bit funny. One, I went, that's not freaking funny. It doesn't even rhyme. And I'm not part of this group. I can't be with you people.

We had to go to chapel once a week at my high school. Oh, man, I'm getting scared. I think there's going to be a Catholic fatwa being put out on us after this. Do they do fatwas? I don't know. It sounded funny in my head. Catholic fatwa. Catholic fatwa.

That would be a band that you would have performed at at a music festival. Catholic fatwa. Yeah. We had to go to chapel once a week, I just, that classic thing where I would always get the giggles, like every time we were trying to sing a hymn or whatever, I'd just start laughing at, you know, the smallest thing. Oh, there's a bit of lint on that guy's blazer. That's the funniest thing ever.

And then the one time where I hadn't started laughing all the way through chapel, I was like really proud of myself. I'm like, oh, I've done it. Like I've been mature about the whole thing. Right near the end, apropos of nothing, I just got this insane blood nose, and I was, like, right up the front, and blood's, like, gushing out of my nose,

and we're in the middle of a hymn, and I'm up the front right on the end. So I've had to, like, push past everyone and, like, sprint down the aisle, and my face is just pissing blood. Everyone's like, is this some kind of sign? Is this like indicative of something? I've never been, I wasn't raised like that.

I'm not like, oh, anti this or anti that. I just don't know anything about it. I'm not interested. I'm not against it, whatever. I just don't know anything about it. But I've just coincidentally had religious girlfriends all the time. Oh, really? So instead of being, I'm a little bit curious,

but I'm also more likely to take the piss and sort of go, like, so I've always been with girlfriends and go, so how's God going today? What's he up to today? Doing some miracles? Yeah. What happened in church today? Anything new or are you still going by that 2,000-year-old book?

Is there a new one? Is there a new one? Is there a new one? Is they bringing out a new one? Or what's happening? They've got to revise it. Yeah, exactly. They've got to update that stuff. They've updated Where's Wally, for God's sake.

Yeah, and I'd be like- They put new stuff in that. But I'd be like, you know, having a girlfriend, sometimes you would have relations with your girlfriend, stuff like that. And then I'd be a bad one for ruining the mood and finishing and then going, so what's your mate up there got to say about that? We're not married, are we? So what's his review of that?

What's your mate up there got to say about that? I heard you call him. Oh, God. Oh, God. I heard you. Jesus. Yeah, what's the feedback on this episode going to be like? This is good timing given that we've got a live episode in two weeks,

so there is an actual place that people can turn up and they can pick at us. Yeah. I think it's like that woman who was trying to sell you skincare products. Yeah. You know, it's like you took exception to her just because of her attitude and she was trying to push something on you. Yeah. I'm respectful for her love of skincare products and her job.

Sure. And her dislike of petrol. Yeah. Just don't shove it down my throat. Sure. That's all. Yeah. Don't put shove it down my throat. Sure, sure. That's all. Yeah, don't put your petrol down my throat.

I had a girlfriend who I wasn't sure was religious, and she was always cagey about it because she knew that I had sort of firm views. But, yeah, just trying to – so, you know, I mean, I believe in intelligent design, but I just don't believe in any sort of one religion or, you know, scripture. How do you feel about that? And she just always changed the subject. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

So, you know, I still don't know. I still don't know. I find that interesting. Every time I meet someone that's a bit weird, I go, are you religious? Just some bum on the street. You must believe in a man up in the sky. That's the only antidote for you being a bit different to me. Well, Gatesy, what if you had met, like if you had found out that she was religious and

she tried to convert you into it, would you go with it? I can't. You couldn't? I couldn't. Because I do know that you've been converted to vegetarianism by girlfriend. I was. Correct? Yeah.

So I was just wondering whether there would be a parallel there. Well, no, because one's a strict ethical sort of belief system. One's made up. I just realised what a leap it was for me to make that distinction between the two. I mean, it's a wordy question. Do you like God better or carrots? If I could eat God. What other things?

What's something else that you have that a girlfriend could sway you on? What would be, you know? I don't know. Or are you set in your ways? I'm pretty, I don't know. I'm still, well, I was set in my ways, you know, when I was 21, but then a girlfriend turned me into a vego. Sure, sure.

And it was just because I brought a chicken home. I moved in with her. She's cool with it. I brought a chicken home. She freaked out. I went, well, why? Tell me. Sit me down.

Why? She gave me some books to read, and then that was it. Wow. Yeah. I just couldn't really face it. But are you back on it? Are you back on it now? It's about, sorry? Are you back on it? Are you back on me? I'm back into it, yeah. But are you back on it now? It's about, sorry?

Are you back on it? I'm back into it, yeah. Oh, right. How long? I was, well, 92. That's when I changed. That's when I went veg out. So, yeah.

What is it? 19 years. Is that right? 19 years? 92? But when have you gone back to me? What, this year? No, it was Edinburgh Festival last year.

Oh, right. Yeah. By about a year. Edinburgh turned you back to me. Start getting some bit of shaved ham. Start whacking that down my gulp. Your first piece of ham. How was that?

A bit weird. A bit weird. But, you know, it was good. It's just you can sort of sustain it for a while, I think. But if you're not surrounded by hippies and people who feel the same way, if at the end of the day, which is an expression I can't stand, but I'll say it, you keep going to dinners and functions and stuff. None of this is funny, by the way.

Thanks for filling us in. But I mean, you get this beautiful food made for you and, you know, it's all right. We've got something for you. And it's this little thing at the end of the table. Oh, yeah. You just want to be part of this thing. Yeah. It is easier.

Do you feel towards meat? Like, I feel like, do you ever do that thing where you maybe you're going, you're trying to get fit or you're going for a run and you get to the end of it and you feel so sick because you're so out of shape or whatever. And you go, I can feel the meat. I can feel the horrible food inside me. I'm never going to eat anything like that again. And then maybe you go on that kick and while you're eating really well, you think of like a hamburger and go, well, why would I ever do that? And then as soon as you get back onto it, you go, yes,

this is the best day of my life. What have I been doing? Man, if you were a Christian vegetarian, there is not a lot in this episode for you so far. You'd be battling. You really would be battling. If you're a Christian vegetarian, there is not a lot in this episode for you so far. You'd be battling. You really would be battling. If you're a Christian vegetarian scout leader. I think it's about hypocrisy, really.

I can't really, I can't be a hypocrite, you know. If I don't like the way that's been, if I feel that that's been treated, you know, badly or whatever, I've got to change that way. I've got to change my way. Were you very preachy about it when you didn't eat meat? No, I was very, you know, badly or whatever. I've got to change that way. I've got to change my way. But were you very preachy about it when you didn't eat meat? No, I was very, and I hated soapboxes. Because that's hard if you then go back onto it. Oh, yeah. Because you've got to think someday you might.

But again, the worst thing is the soapboxy meat eater who's going, oh, bloody jacket, bloody, oh, you can eat the cake. It's not made of meat. Oh, bloody, you know. Yeah. Shut the fuck, frick up, you know. I just made a choice. You should eat the cake, it's not made of meat, oh, bloody, you know. Yeah. Shut the fuck frick up, you know. I just made a choice. You should shut the fuck frick up.

Just because I'm, I can say fuck awesome. Just because I'm eating a carrot doesn't mean you can stop that I'm having a go at you, whatever, you know. I just got bored in that story as soon as the guy yelling at you wasn't ethnic. Yeah, that's true. Wasted opportunity that was. There's no meat in that cake, mate. Here's a lucky cake for you.

Jeez, another group we're going after in this episode. Oh, no, I'm sorry. So let's get on to this, Gatesy. Now, you, Tripod, have been kicking around for quite some time now. You're no stranger to various television appearances and promotional opportunities. So let's get on to this. Who have I slept with? Yes.

All right. Let's go there. Let's go there. Yeah. No. Damn it. You really were expecting me to answer. Well, I was expecting you to impersonate and I was expecting it to be ethnic.

Yeah. Helen Kapilos. Who else? Marika. Marika. Nia Vadas. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Effie.

Have you been with Effie? Oh, Jesus. No, no, no. Well, the reason I bring that up is because yesterday, half of this show, one Carl Chandler made his debutant appearance. Network debut. Network debut. I want to see a network debut.

Was it your network debut? Yeah. Network debut on television's The Circle. Brilliant. Channel 10's The Circle. Channel 10's television's The Circle. On the couch. Friends of the show?

The Circle, friends of the show? Yeah, they'll be friends of the show. Yeah, they are now. Yeah, awesome. They're all friends of the show. And yeah, no of the show? Yeah, they'll be friends of the show. Yeah, yeah. They are now. Yeah, awesome. They're all friends of the show. And yeah, no, it was good. Yeah, I went along and watched. Yes.

It was a great old time. You were in the studs. I was in the studio audience. Because me and- He made his network audience debut. I went along with a friend of the show, Nick Cody, to watch. And we very naively thought that we'll just be able to rock up and get in.

Turns out it's not that easy to go and watch a television program. And we had to be in the standby line. Did you have to show ID to prove that you were over 80 years old? It did look pretty ridiculous, us standing in the group of women waiting to go and watch the show. But it was, so we're there on the standby line. And look, not to bring the mood down, but where my life is at at the moment, my girlfriend's overseas.

I've got no job. I've got no money. I'm back living with my parents. I'm thinking, man, if on top of this, if I don't get let in to watch The Circle, I'm going to get a cab straight to the Westgate and just end it all. Like that would be too much. You can't have built a fence. Think of another bridge, mate.

No! Imagine that! My car, nothing's going wrong! And you'd get there and there'd be a woman on the West Gate going, no wonder you lost bad. You've been using too much petrol on the way here. Hey! There you go.

That's something. I did not see that coming! But I enjoyed watching it. I thought, to be honest... It's a good show. Well, yeah, I mean, but I thought it would be a bit of a chore kind of getting through the bits until we were hoping that you'd be on early so that we could just leave as soon as you were on.

But you were on quite late. I know. I felt guilty because you were texting me going, oh, we're on our way in. I was like, I was in my pajamas. I was eating breakfast cereal. Man, you know what I didn't expect, though? That studio audience, like, man, what a rowdy bunch of bitches. They are, those women.

Could you have picked up? They go, I reckon we could have come close. They are out of control, those women. Like, it's. They were looking you up and down. It was like, no, but just like the way they react to the show as well. Yeah. It was like a cricket club.

Yeah. Like, they had an astrologer on early on, and she was talking about the planets and stuff, and she said Uranus. And these 70-year-old women just started pissing themselves. No. They hadn't heard that one. 70. Uncontrollably.

I think they had, but they just were still fans of it. It's classic. They were talking about that. There was a segment about that new Glenn Close film called Angus Knob or something. You should know. You've got two free tickets to it now. That was what we were told on the way in. You're not getting any of the giveaways.

Oh, really? Yeah, because we were just stuck on the end. Yeah, so we didn't get it. Oh, really? Yeah, so no, what was her name? No, the Seekers woman. Judith Durham. Judith Durham.

No CDs of her. Oh. No, no pass to Angus Knob. I think that's what it's called. But anyway, the word Knob set them off. And then later on, they're doing a cooking segment, and the chef guy, he's like going, oh, yeah, I'm going to – I'm making a different dish to what I was going to make.

I was going to make this other thing, but, yeah, they've put the wrong nuts in my box. And this woman next to us goes, I hate it when that happens. And then everyone starts pissing themselves. Me and Cody are just going, I think it when that happens. And then everyone starts pissing themselves. Me and Cody are just going, I think these women are too dirty for us. This is out of control. It was good.

I like how you started this conversation with how you get, Carl, network TV debut. This is my experience of the day. Well, I mean, I feel like Carl's bit of the story is going to be the best bit, so I was leading up to it. Mine was all televised. It's on the record already. Yeah, exactly. People can see how I went on it. Is it uploaded on the YouTubes? It is.

Oh, no. It's on their site, isn't it? It's on their site. It's not on the YouTubes. It's on their site, yeah. Here you go, ladies. What are you handling? What's your topic?

On the couch? I was trying to be. How did you get that? Yeah. I am promoting a book. I did a book through Penguin. Okay. Yeah. So I was on the couch for that.

The good people at Penguin Publicity had booked me the spot on the circle. Yeah, that was fun. We had a nice little five-minute thing and we got to have a chat and do a few jokes on the couch and stuff like that. But I very quickly reeled in Dasolo and Cody until all of a sudden the camera got wheeled on them. Oh, really? Yeah, so it kind of looks a bit like it's, you know,

bring your child to work day with me at the back going, yeah, Dad! No, it was funny though. Who interviewed you, Chrissy? It was mainly Chrissy. Love Chrissy. Yeah, yeah, she was funny, though. Who interviewed you? Chrissy? It was mainly Chrissy. Love Chrissy. Yeah, yeah. She was very good. The whole gang.

Yeah, yeah. We didn't get ding-dong, though. That was the disappointment. Yeah, no ding-dong. I was a little bit upset. It was actually funny because on the way in, they go, yeah, these are the people. And I'm like, oh, so no ding-dong? I'm like, okay.

And then we had to go upstairs and and there were people taking lifts and they just put me up the up the stairs instead of lifts i'm like this is weird and then on the way out like after i've done well they go oh that was great and sorry about ding dong not being here and jump in the elevator and i was like oh okay now that i've done well now i deserve electricity now i deserve an excuse for how I've been treated. Yes. But Ding Dong's a legend. I know.

She was, our first TV appearance was on like Red Faces in 97 on Hey Hey. And she was working at the time. And we got lost in the little corridors. In the weird days, don't, because didn't Ding Dong and Daryl used to, you know, they didn't get along. No. Is that true? No, they didn't.

They didn't. Because she was no Jackie McDonald. I'm showing my age. Did you, did you see a bit of tension on set? No. Oh. But she was, we got a little, we got a little lost in the corridors and she sucks her head out.

Spinal tap style. Yeah. Sticks her head out. Can I help you boys? And just like this angel, Ding Dong, she took us to our room and we were so excited because we'd never met a celebrity before. Yeah. She was a legend.

Wow. So she was your first sort of celeb? Yep. She gave us a hand. Yeah. Why did you love her then? No, because you made it sound dodgy. You didn't.

Because I'm just like those women in the circle audience. Did you sleep with her? No. But Yon consistently points out that she used to be so hot. She did. Yes. Yes. Always.

It's like obsessed with the once hot ding dong. Yeah. When she was a go-go dancer. Yeah. She was a hot go-go dancer. I just wish there was more on Google Images of her. I'm on a different generation. I can't picture it.

Oh, really? I can't picture it. I can't picture it. Speaking of which different generation, again, that spleen, I really showed myself with an older generation. We're talking about dire straits to that audience. It was like talking about Richard Burton or some shit. It was hilarious. I mean, I should know that, right? I should know that.

But I'm just going, no, I've got this little bit. I've started now. I can't stop it, even though I've lost you all. No, I do think that sometimes I'll think of myself in 1985 and then think of me thinking of Fleetwood Mac and going, oh, man, yuck. Talk about ancient history. And it's like eight years ago.

And now I'm sort of looking through my iTunes now going, oh yeah, that's a, that new album I got the other day. That's, oh, hang on. That's eight years old. Yeah. That's, that used to be a generation away. Yeah, that is. That is.

Totally. We, when we started, um, we used to do, uh, uni gigs and stuff, and this is 97, and we used to do a prisoner sort of cell block H. Oh, yeah. Sort of medley. Yep. I was going to say you used to play in prisons. No.

That would be awesome. That would be amazing. Tripod live in San Quentin. Oh, yeah. Johnny Cash. Yeah. Just leave Yon here with us, will you? He sure looks pretty. He's our good-looking one.

But we did this thing to uni students and realised after a few goes, because we were, you know, stubborn, that these kids don't even know what we're talking about. This is 97. Oh, wow. So that would have been like one when Cell Block H was on the telly. Yeah, yeah. So it was like even back then, we were way out of our time.

It's just shit. I like maybe the excuse you got. Don't you remember, Princeton, you know, the sort of lesbian gay fantasy show that used to be on Channel 10? Remember that? No. Where there's all women sort of to get... No. Watch the drool string out of their eyes as their eyes fall back into their head.

That was a harsh show as well. It was pretty harsh. For a show on TV. A lot of soldering irons were used. A lot of being chucked in the press. Yep. Yep. A lot of burnies.

Yeah. Look, we've completely lost. What on earth are you two talking about? Quality television, my friend. It's sort of like Breaking Bad, but instead of drugs, lesbians. Oh, that sounds awesome. Yeah. Is it on HBO?

Yeah. Gatesy, I wanted to ask you, just in tying into the circle thing, I mean, you guys would have had your fair share of maybe some odd kind of press appearances for festivals and stuff over the years? Yeah. Well, we were on GMA quite a lot, Good Morning Australia with Bert. Oh, yes. Because that's when we had our little colourful outfits and stuff.

So they didn't really used to care what we did because the outfits really worked for us for TV. And we were like in our mid-20s. We were older than you are now, Tommy, and still had no clue. So we'd just jump on TV. But I remember, again, Ding Dong, there was a short-lived show called IMT with Frankie Jay. Oh, yeah, when they brought back IMT. Yeah, yeah, and Ding Dong was on that.

Yeah. And so we got to reunite, you know, get lost through corridors and talk about go-go dancing. And she'd forgotten about the time she had sex with Yon. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She was so hot.

She was so hot back in her day. She was so hot. She was so hot. She was hot. I was so hot. And Stevie Jacobs over there. He was hot too. Every figure in my memory.

All together now. Yeah. But, um, uh, we did a song, uh, called Pluck a Duck,

which was, you know, I chat up girls by telling them I'm Pluck a Duck, which was, you know, I chat up girls by telling them I'm Pluck a Duck. It was this sort of thing. So you were still catching up from meeting her on Hey Hey? Well, no, no. We knew a guy who actually used to pick up girls by telling them I'm the guy in the Pluck a Duck suit. And it used to work. Why wouldn't it? And it was, you know, one of the ends of the plucker duck suit. And it used to work. Why wouldn't it?

And it was, you know, one of the ends of the song was, you know, pick up your courage and tell her you're plucker. If you follow this rule, then you might get to find out what her phone number is. That old trick. Make you think fucker, right? Oh, you ruined it. Oh, no. You just ruined it.

But it was that We felt like rock stars Because During Just before it went to air Because it was all live It was pretty exciting But Frankie J pulled this aside

And in like that Jim Morrison moment In the doors They said You know when you Put a lot of weight on the If you follow this rule Then you might get to

Can you just put a little bit Less emphasis on the F Can you then you might get to... Can you just put a little bit less emphasis on the F? Can you just go, might get to find out what her phone number is? And we thought, we just sort of looked at him, but we did feel like Jim Morrison. Yeah. Because, you know, they couldn't get much better. That's how they did it back in old 55. Yeah, that's it.

Oh, man. He was in the Frankie J... No did it back in old 55. Yeah, that's it. Oh, man. He was in the Frankie J. No, he was in the F.J. Holden movie. Have you ever seen that movie? Yeah. It's sort of like, you know how they used to make Australian movies like Puberty Blues and that and Stone and stuff like that where it was like a different world. It would just be like pubic hair everywhere and just weird things happening.

13-year-olds having sex. I was like, why were you making these movies? You know, that's been my big question is because I've seen Puberty Blues. Was Australia ever really like that? Yeah. Or is that really? It was actually, well, I was about seven at the time, eight at the time. But yeah.

Wow. There was a real heavy Australian drawl. It really talked a lot like that. Yeah. Me and my girlfriend are obsessed with the, um, go down the shops and get a Coke. Yeah.

Cost me 20 cents. Watch old footage of like, um, yeah, those movies. I was, have you seen, um,

not quite Hollywood? It's a documentary. I've heard of it, but I haven't seen it. You gotta see it. Yeah. I, you're friends of the show.

You just watch it. It's brilliant. It just puts you in this mindset of great ideas done really cheaply, and they just do it. Here's a Jay Holden movie. Go and see that. That is amazing because it's like nothing happens in it except for these idiot 14-year-olds go around and just be ridiculous, and nothing happens.

But they talk like that. Go and get a coke. Coke. Yeah. Dead End Drive-In, another good one. Oh, really? That's just sort of this post-apocalyptic. It's like Escape from New York, you know,

when they lock everyone in Manhattan and that's the prisoner. Prison. Prisoner. This is a drive-in. This is Coburg Drive-In. They've just locked everyone, all the hoods in there. Oh, awesome. That's great.

Well, here's my big complaint of Australian cinema. And, you know, it does get, you know, it's fair share of criticisms. Here we go. Why has there not been the Great Schoolies movie? Oh. Isn't that just right? There has. That should be Australia's The Hangover, you know?

Someone needs to make the good, they tried a few years ago. Called Blurred. Yes, and it was terrible. With Matt Newton. Was he in that? Yeah. Because how do you screw up a schoolies movie? Well, if you bash too many chicks.

Oh, see? I wasn't, you know. Oh, we're never going to have him as a guest now. He's ill. Get a bit of petrol and cover up the marks on your face from the battering. Yeah. Yes. Yes.

That's why they got the name blurred, I think. It's from the birds and the bells. Well, how about this? How about this? We were talking about the book. A lot of people have said to me, I haven't really promoted this book. It's not quite out yet.

Yeah, tell me about the book. Oh, it's just like a stand-up joke book. It's like a compilation of a lot of comedies in the country. Is Gaiety's Dire Straits reference from the other night in there? It's not in there. You sure? You can have it. Number two.

It's out there. Number two. Number two. Number two. Thanks very much. Thank you very much. It's going to be like The Gremlins 2, you know, one of the few sequels that's better than the original.

Is it better? That's what people think. Yeah, I think New Batch is better than the original. Right. Okay. Yeah. All right. Nice to see you.

Not to get too off topic. So I went into, it's out through Penguin. I don't think you've even named the book. Have I? Yeah, you haven't. Oh, I haven't either. No. You've not mentioned it.

It's called Funny Buggers. Yeah. And it's Australian stand-up comedians and their jokes and blah, blah, blah, whatever. It's out today, isn't it? It's out the day this episode is out. Is it? I think they were saying that yesterday. Okay. Okay. Well, that's it then. Well, go get it. I don't really know. I've already got a copy of the book, so I don's out today, isn't it? It's out the day this episode is out. Is it? I think they were saying that yesterday. Okay, okay.

Well, that's it then. Well, go get it. I don't really know. I've already got a copy of the book, so I don't need to go and buy it. So I didn't find out the date. Have you ever... Oh, I've gone to a record store and had to buy a tripod CD before. That's good though, isn't it?

I mean, it's good for sales. Yeah. That's good karma. Not great for my wallet. That's good karma, isn't it? I guess. I think it is. That's pretty sad.

I went into Penguin. The book's coming out or whatever. I did the job of going in to do, I had to sign copies of the book today, which is sort of weird. But I'm signing copies for, like I go in there and I'm like, who am I signing copies for? There's no fans that want this signed or whatever. They're like, no, no, no. You're signing copies for all the contributors of the book.

And everyone who has contributed to the book gets to send a free copy. So I don't know how happy anyone is going to be out of the 120 contributors of getting a free copy and then opening it up and going, oh, someone's defaced it. Oh, thanks, everyone from Carl in thick text that's bled through three pages and all this stuff. I'm happy about it because it means that I've inconvenienced your day somehow. Oh, man, I'm still sore. Because at the start, I go, oh, I'm going to write something funny and witty and individual and personalized for everyone.

I got 10 in and went, oh, man, this is going to take me all day. And then a bunch of people went, thanks, Carl. Is this you finishing off the story that you started to tell me in the car? and then a bunch of people went, thanks, Carl. But. Is this you finishing off the story that you started to tell me in the car? Yes. And you went, I'll save it from the show. And I got very angry. Yes, that's it.

And you said, and then you said to me, right, if you try and tell this on the story, this story on the show, I'm going to derail you and completely ruin the story. I'm like, okay, well, I can see how you want that to happen. Yeah, well, I actually do want to hear the story. We're just going to have a rotten podcast. So I was sitting there and I was signing everything and there was a nice little lady that works for Penguin and she was bringing in the books for me and going, put them in that box when

you're finished and here's a glass of water and blah, blah, blah, blah. And then she goes, oh, look, my daughter is a massive fan of the Little Dum Dum Club, and she loves listening to your show, and would you be able to sign a copy for her? And I was like, oh, that's so sweet. Like, it's lovely to hear that people out there, you know, listen to the show, and it's weird how anyone that doesn't know us listens to it, and that's awesome. I'm like, this is great. And she goes, yeah, yeah, she really loves it.

She was making me listen to one the other day in the car. Yeah, you guys, is that your thing? You just like to talk about poo? I'm like, no. She goes, well, that's what you were going on about, something about pooing yourself or there was a lot of poo talk. I'm like, that was probably episode two when we were desperate to think of something to talk about.

We talked about poo once. It was like, no, that's your thing. That's your thing. You're the little poo-poo club. But I like when I said you cut that so early. You got right up to, this is what you said. You said, oh, on your show, do you just talk about, oh, no, hang on, I'll finish it on the show. So you've just left off one word.

Yes. Yon got approached because he's a recognisable one in Tripod. And this is in Adelaide. And we brought the Dungeons and Dragons show to Adelaide. That was the first place we did it here in this country. And of course, you know, your Adelaide show invariably is the first sort of draft. You try to get it into pretty good shape, but it's still going to get better, like everything, as time goes on. And someone just crossed the road to talk to Jan and said,

saw your show in the first week. What was that about? What was that about? And then I saw it last week again. What are you doing? If you hated it the first time. So to start with, he wasn't sure what it was about, and then the second time he didn't know what you were doing.

After the first time, they went, oh, well, they're clearly going to get rid of the dragon out of this thing, so they've got to fix this up. And then I saw it a third time, what's your game? You guys are shit. And then I saw it a fourth time. Who do you think you are? You just got a different question every time he comes on. And then fourth time, hang on, what country am I from again?

Who am I? So, Gatesy, you are around Melbourne at the moment doing the odd solo gig. Yeah. What's your racket there? What's this part of? Is this part of the – What's your scheme? Is this George Michael finally

ditching Andrew Ridgely? No, it's after the Dungeons & Dragons show, that took a lot out of us. After that bloke. Yeah, just caned us three times. Three consecutive weeks of caning.

No, we've been... This year's been a bit of a... not quiet, but we've taken the year off more or less. We used to get together like four or five days a week from like 10 to three and like look at the void and try to make each other laugh and write stuff. Yeah. But this year we thought, well, let's just do the gigs and write when we can. We had a little bounce.

We had a band camp a couple of weeks ago. That was heaps of fun. Where? Where did you go? We go down to Yon's family holiday house in Point Leo. Oh, Point Leo. Where's that? Yeah, it's down near the room, the east side, down near Point Cook and shit.

What's the address? Point Cook? Where is it? Down east. Point Cook near the airport or something? Army base Point Cook? Where is it? Down east? Point Cook near the airport or something? Army base? Maybe. I don't know.

I got it wrong. Were you blindfolded in the car on the way there? When I was just trying desperately to find the word and you knew the word was wrong, Point Cook, why did you then go me for getting it wrong? Because I know we're Point Cookies. I'm like, that would be the last place I would go to band camp. It's a place I would go if I wanted my band members stabbed. To go to war.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But, and so, before I turn 40, I just want to try the thing that makes me the scaredest, which is stand-up comedy, I think. So what's coming up, Gatesy? What have you got, tripod and solo related? Yeah, well, by the time- You're popping up at a few gigs around and solo related? Yeah, well, by the time. You're popping up at a few gigs around the place at the moment.

Yeah, by the time this would go out, I'm doing a Checkpoint Charlie spot. Yep. Yeah. And I'm going to do the last local night, Janet McLeod's room on the 12th. Yep. That'll be fun. Yeah. And then it's always the best time of year, tripod are doing Woodford, which is between Christmas and New Year's.

Yep. That's in Brisbane, yes? Yeah. Well, it's in a town called Woodford. Well. Okay. Hang on. Hang on.

What sort of music do they play there, though? Just tell me where it is in relation to Point Cook. That is the – yeah. Nice one. No, it's great. It's probably the best gig of the year. And it's a great way to finish the year for us because we spend four days just kicking back watching the greatest music ever and then doing a gig every day in really big stages

and smoking a lot and having great times. It's really good. Harley, Harley Breen, friend of the show, he's going to be there too. Thank God, good picker. So I'm really looking forward to that. It was a good way to end the year. And then you guys are doing the – are you doing Melbourne shows? Are you doing festival shows next year?

We are doing, yeah. No, we're not doing the festival. We're going to be doing four or five nights at the Arts Centre in February. Oh, yeah. But, oh, big news, I can say. Is this a scoop? Well, it's pretty much. You're being kicked out of the band.

No. Why do you want me out of the band? Because I want to get in, damn it. You've had your eye on that. Have you got a newer, better-looking member in the band coming in? Oh, yeah, a younger, leaner. Tripod now with Jon Hamm. No, I'm doing a show in the Comedy Festival with Bob Franklin.

You are? Yeah. Really? Yeah, don't sound so freaking surprised. No, no, no. Man, if you could put in a word for us, because we tried to get him on the show, and he refuses to set foot in this building.

I think he does too. He's keen to do it. You can always ask me. You can ask me anything. When you say you're doing a show with Bob Franklin, is it just you impersonating Bob Franklin? That would be more fun. Have you got a Bob Franklin hand puppet?

Yeah, he's your teddy bear. I only, you know how, do you impersonate a person, but you can only do one word of theirs? Yeah. That was how it was with Bob Franklin. And my word was, Gaintsey. And how ego, how narcissistic is that? The only name is my name.

Well, the only word is my name. But no, it's going to be, we've got to register the show by tomorrow. We've pretty much written the show, but we don't have a title. I think you can take a little while. You know, you're Gatesy and Franco. Gatesy and Franco? Yeah, there you go. I wonder if he likes that.

Frank and Gates. Yeah. But I'm really excited about it. Yeah, that sounds like it's going to be great. What's the idea? Like, how do you guys mesh together? Well, okay, the one thing we have in common and we just love talking about is, like, scary movies. So without giving it too much away, you know,

his work's always sort of littered with sort of unsettling, disturbing type material. And he always goes, Gatesy. Gainslinger. But in fact, the first, no, the second comedy festival was Tripod. We did a lot of props. You know, the second comedy festival, you tend to have like too many ideas and you bring too much stuff on board. And we had sketches and props and all kinds of that.

One of the things I would walk off stage in a huff and say, I'm going to go traveling. Screw you. You know, and I'd walk off stage left and then on the way pile on all these clothes and, you know, put stickers on, you know, shit like I'd been around the world and sort of turn up on the other side of the stage every night. And this is how I met Bob. Every night running through the foyer, like putting shit on myself, he would just shout out, it will never work.

Every night without fire. And he was right. The bit sucked. So I've got good sort of you know a good filter so if he if you're trying to write

stuff for the show and he's going nah nah you'll know so you'd never met him in between all those years you just

the other day thought I like that bit it'll never work I'm gonna work with that man nah I wanted to do a Tripod we're gonna do a comedy festival

but I thought well there's no reason why I can't. It's my favourite, one of my favourite times of year, and I really miss it when we're not involved. So I'm glad that after several hundred emails and throwing out ideas to Bob, he goes, all right, let's give it a go. That's weird how he could do that on email as well. I know.

What a talent. Yeah, when he does get back to me. Well, look out for that. The currently unnamed Gatesy Franklin show in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. I feel like you're wrapping it up. I need one

important question answered first. The whole time we've been talking, you've got a big piece of glitter just under your eye. What have you been doing? Have you done like a Mardi Gras podcast before you've come here or something? I go out with a performer who is a cabaret performer. And she's in the middle of shows at the moment. And she, I mean, this is all very convenient.

I might just love the glitter. I might just do it to make my face pop Carl Are you banging a glitter can at night? Yeah exactly Well it's kind of like that Because fucking glitter is everywhere In my home And I find glitter in weird places

On my body And I can't sort of I love her to pieces There's going to be some falling out of people's headphones as they're listening to this. Yeah, yeah. But it's really nice that I walk around now that I'm so complacent about the glitter that, you know, it gets pointed out to me.

Or maybe have you been at rehearsals with Bob Franklin in your restaging of Xanadu? Maybe. Oh, I love that. That's a good nut title. Some skating, some roller skating. Now, just before we wrap this up, one thing I forgot to bring up before in talking about the circle, this did happen in the midst

of Carl's interview. And I want to ask you, Gatesy, if you would agree with this in the time you've spent with Carl Chandler so far. Georgie Coghlan said that Carl Chandler has such a happy, positive, energetic demeanour. Same guy. Would you find that to be the case? Because I think that is a massive...

Anyone who listens to this show who watched that would have been looking at the screen going, you've just embarrassed yourself, Coghlan. You've made a rightful yourself. I think she's a very good judge of character. I reckon you can turn it on. I reckon there is good in you. There is.

No, I can be okay. Yeah. I can be okay. I get a shy good in you. There is. Definitely. Yeah, no, I can be okay. Yeah. I can be okay. I just get a shy vibe from you. You know, chicks like the shy guy. Yeah. This is all not turning out how I wanted. Maybe you should be a little less bombastic.

Oh, I didn't want this to happen at all. Oh, the tables have turned. I didn't want this. Maybe quieten down a bit. Take it down a little bit. Actually, backstage, Georgie did say, that Dassault seems like a little prick. I went, you've nailed it.

You've got two out of two. I must say, when I thought this afternoon about how this was going to go down, this is the exact opposite of what I pictured. Gatesy, thank you so much for joining us today. Thanks for having me. It has been a right pleasure. Check out Gatesy's show and the festival.

Check out all Tripod's upcoming stuff. Thanks very much for listening, guys. Don't forget the live episode December 4th. We're on Twitter at Dumb Dumb Club.

We've got a Facebook page. Email us littledumbdumbclub at gmail.com. Send us some Wikipedia vandalisms. We'd love more of them for the live show.

And we'll see you next time. See you, mate.