The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 76 - Tommy Little & Xavier Michelides

Episode Date: March 14, 2012

Impersonations, Sexy Cabinets and Community TV Firings. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, mates, today's episode of The Little Dumb Dumb Club is sponsored by Punchline. Head to punchline.com.au for all your comedy DVD needs. And don't forget, we've got live shows coming up in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Every Monday night at the Town Hall at 8.30, we're doing our podcast absolutely live with three celebrity and old mate guests. So don't forget to come along and see that. Have a look at the Comedy Festival website for ticket details. And also you can see me, little Tommy Dasolo, in Pipsqueak in Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney.

Head to TommyDasolo.com for more details. See you there, mates. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Sitting opposite me, the other half of the show, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. Now, I just want to bring this up quickly.

We've talked on the show before a couple of months ago about how my website got hacked into by Serbian princes or something. Yeah. Whatever it was. I've just gone looking for you. I put you into Google and I found your website, CarlChandler.com. This has happened to me on three computers that I've tried it on. It comes up with reported attack page. This webpage at CarlChandler.com has been reported as an attack page

and has been blocked based on your security preferences. Your site's been flagged. If I click, why has it been blocked? Site is listed as suspicious. Visiting this website may harm your computer. Have you got any answers for this? I programmed all of that. That's not, I'm thinking, that's not an unfair thing to come up because I haven't touched it in two years

and I'm quite embarrassed of that web page. Right, okay. That's fine with me. That's fine. It's all helpful information. Is that just your site? Yeah. Like this is something a little different?

Yeah. That's for your new comedy festival show, Sight Suspicious. To be fair, I can see why they blocked it because it used to just have a flash animation of your head going, you're a dickhead, go kill yourself. So I understand why they wanted to stamp that out.

I didn't say you're a dickhead. Oh, okay. And Tommy, I think you're getting confused with the website and him in real life. I've been in here for about two minutes. That's all we said. It's fitting that they both attack in some way. Should we even introduce that one?

I don't know. We'll introduce you. There are two previous guests on the show, two men who've just returned from seasons at the Adelaide Fringe Festival. Please welcome back into the Little Dumb D Dum Club, Xavier Michaelides and Tommy Little. Yay! Hello, Grievers. Now, Xavier, just before we kick off, you were doing a pretty sterling Carl Chandler

impersonation. Oh, just before? Yeah, I've never heard a Carl Chandler impression before, but you've nailed it. I like food. Let's talk about my girlfriend. I'm from Murrumbidgee. Old people from country towns are weird. You did blow my mind because I was walking in while that was happening.

I thought that was Chandler the whole time. I know. It's pitch perfect, isn't it? And I even said to myself, oh, that's Chandler just being Chandler. You should make a little Carl Chandler puppet, and then you could do a sweet ventriloquist act. I think that would go down really well. What have you got for Dassilo?

Oh, look out. I'm Dassilo. Leave me alone, everybody. I'm not fat. Don't make fun of me. You guys sort of sound the same. Some feedback. Can you actually do a higher pitch voice than that?

Yeah, I was going to say way too deep. All right. Can you actually do a higher pitch voice than that? Yeah, I was going to say way too deep. All right. Hi, everyone. I'm Tommy Dasolo. I'm not a woman. Leave me alone. Tommy, can you shut the fuck up?

Zave's trying to do an impression. Zave, you've just come straight from doing some workshop with kids, so I imagine that was probably very helpful in crafting the Tommy Dasolo. Oh, yeah, totally. No, no, they had deeper voices than you. You're liking how now I've just started preemptively fagging myself any time I come up on the show just to try and build a wall so Chandler can't get in there first.

I know, it was like an alley-oop. It was like, here you go, Saviour. I can sink this one in. All right, sure. That's good because it makes me work harder now because you take all the easy jokes out, so I'm like, I have to hone my anti-Dass like, yeah. You're very welcome.

I love how you're still in that sentence, gave him a little bit of shit. You take all the easy jokes. Yeah, you give yourself crap, but you're not very good at it. When it comes to hanging shit on yourself, you're a hack. I did your gear on you six months ago, mate. Jesus. Very good.

Well, how about this? We're on the focus on Tommy Daslow. I've got some questions to ask. Are you okay? You feeling okay? Yeah, I'm feeling okay. That just sounds like it's set up for evil. Do you feel okay?

Well, good, because it sounds like what it is. And just before you say what you're going to say, can you please whisper it to Xavier and then get Xavier to do it to me in his Carl Chandler impersonation? I feel like that'll be a good way of cushioning whatever's coming. He can do it at the end. He can do it at the end. Now, are you feeling all right?

I just want to check on your welfare. You're fine? Yeah, relatively, I guess so. No, no, no. The only reason I ask is because you came around to my house like a week ago and you'd just come from the doctors. Oh, boy. Yeah.

So you've been to the doctors. So obviously there was something wrong maybe or the possibility of something wrong. But it all ended up all right. You're playing the idiot card, but you know very well what was going on. What was going on? You don't play this card. Why? You know full well that I just.

It's AIDS of the dick hole. Again, you know what? When I came in here, I smelt it a bit, and I went, that smells like. Does AIDS have a smell? To be fair, that was Xavier's smell impersonation of Dassault. I'm AIDS of the dick hole. He impersonates odours as well. That's how good Xavier is.

It's another level. It's pretty good stuff. Can I just say I'm very sorry about setting the bar so low. I'm even looking at it now going, jeez, I don't think I can get under that. And that is really saying something for this show. We trod the same material when McAuliffe was in, so don't worry.

Wait, can we get back to the part where Carl obviously brought up something that Daslo's not comfortable with? Dude, I've bookmarked that. We're not too far away from that. So Daslo get back to the part where Carl obviously brought up something that Dassolo's not comfortable with? Dude, I've bookmarked that. We're not too far away from that. So, Dassolo, back to you. So you were at the doctors and you came to my house? I wasn't at the doctors. I was at a clinic.

Oh, right. Right. And this is a rotten game that you're playing because you know what I was getting done. You know full well I was getting my semen analysed. And now you've made me say those words on a program that was already sunk. Critics are saying this is the absolute low point

of this show. Can I ask this? Were you getting a test done to send out to all the listeners that think you're a girl? Just to prove that you are. What, to prove that it is semen? No, to prove that he's a boy. I've taken bits and I've put them into little Kinder Surprise eggs,

and that's the free gift that you're going to get if you order a little Dum Dum Club t-shirt by emailing us. You're smearing it. Monica Lewinsky style, you're smearing some on every t-shirt that we sell. What? I know we need to explain to the listeners what's visually going on at the moment, but me and Zave have just cracked out pom-poms, unloading the fireworks, because life just got very good.

I've got no pants on and I'm working it. Yeah, I'm doing round two of the test. I've just crossed off ten subject matters of my to-do list for this show. Hang on. I just want to make sure that I haven't just foreseen something that I never thought I'd foresee. No. Is a semen test to test for AIDS of the dickhole?

Well, somehow you were spot on. It really was a remarkable bit of a... What's going on, Dasolo? Well, look, we've talked on this program before about my previous illnesses as a child, and I got informed a little while ago by my doctors that I,

because I had a lot of radiation therapy, chemo and stuff, I should go and get checked out to see if I'm able to foster little Dasolo Dazzalos. How'd you go? Are we winning? We're doing all right. Yeah.

We're doing okay. Yeah. Yeah. Good result. That's actually pretty serious. It's probably not something that you're, you know, radio. Comfortable joking about on a podcast. Comfortable joking about.

Correct. Ten points. I just love the way Chandler was like, oh, this is ripe for comedy. Oh, great. A friend of mine might possibly not be able to father children for the rest of his life. Let's have a big laugh about that. You don't need to take a gamble there, because what if I just burst it into tears live on the air?

What if he couldn't have children, and he was like, I can't, I don't know what I'm going to do. And you're like, oh, well. Well, I'm quite offended at your mockery of my mockery of something quite serious, too. To be quite honest, Xavier, I don't think that that's something right for comedy. Shanley, you're right. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. If Dassler had burst into tears, that would have been the easy reaction. What a hack. What a little girl. Well, actually, it did look a bit dicey because I had the test done and then I got the call after the results had come in from my doctor saying, can you come in to have a talk about the results,

which I didn't know how to take because that's something that you'd say if there was stuff to talk about. But, you know, doctors can be pretty shit with that kind of stuff. So what it could have meant and what it actually did end up meaning was just me going in there and going, yeah, it's all fine. So I'm like sitting there going, how's this going to go? Like, good one. Well, what if Rupert Murdoch had a phone hacked you and put the scoop out on heraldsun.com

instead of the scoop coming on the little dum-dum club podcast? That was a long bow. No. Phone hacking. That's something that happens. Oh, that's right. Yeah, that's right. The phone, that was, yeah, a couple of months ago.

That was a pretty hot topic. Thanks for bringing that in. All right. My sites are now, don't worry about Deslo. My sites are set on Xavier. What if someone had leaked it on MySpace? Yeah. I just want to picture Carl inside his head.

It's like the T-1000. It's just like, it's zoomed in on1000. It's just like it's zoomed in on me. It's got all the weaknesses of me, and now he's just moved over to Xavier. I feel the same, but with his heart just cold and steely. Come on, guys. Let's get back to serious issues. Now, that's like your sperm. Yeah.

So you had to obviously get it out and whatever to test it. Yes. You did, because I've never had to do that, I don't think. But so there's like a room. Hopefully you'd remember if you did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He got drunk one time and fucking donated some sperm. Yay!

Wake up woozy in the kitchen. I guess I'll jizz in a cup. Could never be too sure. Wake him in a bath full of ice and check yourself. Oh, I've had semen removed from myself against my will. It's on the black market. People want some sweet

Chandler babies. I might just hit the delete button right now because this so far just feels like an absolute whitewash of an episode. No, it's good. So what are you asking me? What's your question? Well, so you do, because I haven't done it,

you do, what, get put in a room with some racy literature? Is that what happens? You don't get put in. That makes it sound like it was totally against the will. I don't know. Get in there. You tell me and wank. You go in.

And look, the reason I was hesitant to talk about this is because it is something I'll be talking about in my comedy festival show. So I don't want to be accused of running gear on this podcast, which I know you're a big fan of and people have done it to us in the past. So that's where- I can't think of anyone in Harley Brune that's done it. Do you cut that? But yeah, you go, yeah, you get, it is a very, it's, it's, I actually didn't, I hated it to start

with. Like it's an awful. You hated what? Like just the thing of you, you turn up. Are you pausing so much because you don't want to use the exact jokes that are going to be in your show? You're trying to work out another way to say them? No, no, it's actually like turning up to a room and going up to a reception where that's

what you're there to do is just, and the fact that that's just out there in the open and that's the given thing is very weird and uncomfortable. Is there a specific room for it? Do they just turn their back in the waiting room? You've got blokes in the waiting room. All fawning over the one copy of Ralph. You can do it in here. Just hiding behind the pot plant.

This is how I normally do it. I don't feel uncomfortable doing it any other way. You can take it into your car if you want and just do it out in there. No, no. You get let into a room. You get your own little room that's got a little sink area where you can wash up. Do they have it? Oh, really?

Yeah, a little toilet. You're in your own little room, which is almost too nice. Because I had the same thing when driving over there. You thought it was too nice when you were going at yourself going, this needs to be dirtier. It does, but like everything about that room just says, do not whip your dick out in here. Like it's too, it's kind of.

I'm picturing fine china and like old women eating scones in there. And you're like, oh, I can't wank in here. One of those nice bathrooms where there's this 70-year-old guy with a towel just waiting for you to mop up and then you tip him after that. There wasn't. He's the catcher. Yeah. Pretend I'm not here.

I'll off you go with your dirty business. There wasn't when I went in there, but I did request that because that's the only way I can get off. What was there in the way of stimulation? There was a little cabinet with some magazines in it. Oh, okay. I thought that was going to be it. Wow, you got me sold.

Yeah, but it's a pretty sexy cabinet. Oh, I've already gone before I pull my pants down. I get really turned on by mystery. So I was just there going, what's in the third drawer? I bet it's another smaller cabinet. Oh, yeah. No, well, this is what I felt was just there going, what's in the third drawer? I bet it's another smaller cabinet. Oh, yeah. No, well, this is what I felt was a wasted opportunity was there's like five little drawers.

I opened the top one and there was a stack of penthouse. And then in the rest of the drawers, there was nothing, which disappointed me because I thought I sort of thought if penthouse is up the top, maybe it'll just get filthier and filthier as we go down. Did you ever make the mistake of they're the drawers that you wank into? Well, that's the only thing about being in that room is because, you know,

that's all that the room is there for. And there are weird people. You know what I mean? So you don't know. You don't pretend like you don't have a wanking room at your house. God, I've seen that room full of cabinets. Good God. But yeah, and then a TV with just a DVD preloaded in.

I so love the idea of books just sweating, handing in their samples. It's like, there you go. I will say. So the room. Can I just interject very quickly? Because this happened a couple of weeks ago and you've held off on bringing this up. And I see why now because with Little in here,

it really is the perfect guest. Because you look like a kid in a candy store. You are overjoyed. I know. You're like jumping up and down. You're like popping from one leg to the other. Doing like a little. To be fair.

You look like the video of the kid getting the Nintendo 64 for Christmas where he just starts going apeshit. You know what you've turned into to me? You've turned into a little kid with boxing gloves who's trying to dodge and I'm just going, where can I get it? Crack, crack. To be fair, I didn't think Cal Wilson or Fiona O'Loughlin was going to give me this sort of assistance.

Yeah, that's fair. That's very fair. So this room, the room is specifically- You're right. The architecture is the interesting thing about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This room is set aside for just this one. It's not doubling up or something else.

It's just literally the masturbation room. No, it's not also the tea room. Yeah. Yeah, it's the jerk offering. That's all it is. Yeah. And does it say anything on the door or anything? Oh, you're thinking they might have fun with it, like Spank Bank or something.

Or like how they've got the silhouettes of the men and women for the toilets. It's a silhouette of a cock with just a hand rubbing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, there's nothing like that. But you can't, like, you've got to label it. You can't just have anyone walking in there. But it's not me. It's in.

Can you lock it? Can you lock the room? Some visitor can't walk in. You can't lock it. Some visitor can't walk through, see you in there and go, oh, what have I walked in on? And everyone goes, no, no, you're the weird one. This is what this room's for.

They point to the sign saying Sproglodge on the door and you go, you should have known. Can't you read, you pervert? I like Sproglodge because it's so clumsy, like it's almost a rhyme but, like, just not. I went through, I had a little guy in my head flicking through the Rolodex of, like, Spoonter, what have you got? Nothing.

Jizz, what have you got?oonter, what have you got? Nothing. Jizz, what have you got? Throat, what have you got? No, it's like the room is in a little clinic where that's all that's happening. It's an IVF clinic. It's not just like third door on your left, but then second door on your left is the cafeteria. It's like it's its own, so there's no risk. You're not part of a game show where if they get the wrong door,

it's the jizz jacuzzi. There you go, there's another one. That was good. They're doing well now. That would be a much better thing, like a very weird version of Deal or No Deal. Yeah, anyway. Yeah, so it's just its own little clinic.

It's got the DVD going. It's got the DVD going. And what's on the DVD? The DVD was like an all- Was it softcore or hardcore? It was hard. It was an all-female orgy. Oh, really?

Yeah. Did you ask them to change that? Well, this is what I was thinking because everything in there, like the penthouse- That's very presumptuous. Yeah, exactly. That's what I was thinking. I was thinking if I was gay, I'd be-

What do you do? You just look at your own hand and penis and get turned on. What else do you need? Does that happen? Is that someone? No, of course it doesn't. You're suddenly like a walking porno for yourself. Exactly.

I mean, I get turned on by, if you get turned on by man bits, just look at your own man bits. That's like the snake eating itself. So you're whacking off to the image of yourself whacking off. You pull your pants down and look at your bum in the mirror and go, look at your own man bits. That's like the snake eating itself, so you're whacking off to the image of yourself whacking off. You pull your pants down and look at your bum in the mirror and go, oh, look at that one. That's how it works, isn't it? Oh, thank God we're in 2012

where everyone's a little bit heightened about sexuality. That's your response, oh, look at that one. Look at that one. That's such a soft response to it. I was slightly scared about when we were coming in here and the stuff we were talking about.

Don't say coming in this conversation, please. This was going to be a little bit immature. I'm glad those fears have been completely allayed. Yeah. It's like bungee jumping. You've just got to take the plunge and then you feel heaps better about it. We've been, to be fair, the last couple of weeks we've had too many guests that we respect. So we've just been saving up this gunk for youth clams.

What happened? Geoffrey Rush couldn't do today? up this gunk for youth clans. What happened? Geoffrey Rush couldn't do today? Again, gunk, awful choice of word. But yeah, again, that's the weird thing. You know, you do what needs to be done. You finish up and then you go out back into the reception and there's people there waiting and it's like... Applauding?

Yeah. Well, even just the guy sitting there waiting, I almost felt like going, mate, I've paused it on a pretty good scene for you. Just three minutes in. Give that a go. That'd be enough to put me off. I was like, oh, that guy, that weird man woman just talked to me. I can't go. Like, in my head, I was just going, like, what?

I can't do it. I can't go. I can't. You know that going to the toilet is different from... Oh, this is... Isn't it? When you're at the urinal, when you're at the urinal, you're not... I've been pissing into vaginas this whole time.

You're not ejaculating at the urinal, or are you? I don't know. I get them confused. I like that Xavier hasn't been speaking as much as Tommy, but that every time he has, it's been like a hundred times more atrocious. I like the idea of you mixing up, ejaculating and urinating. So you just saw what you're always going. Yeah.

Every time I drink, I just get really horny. No, no, no. You're urinating. I really didn't want to join in, but I'd like, I can't help but say yes. Like my thing is like, Carl brings up and go, I'll play along with this, but it's just horrendous. I think the explicit button on iTunes has already been pressed before we've even gotten anywhere near uploading this.

Yeah, no. They've just looked at me and been like, you do something. Please join in. Mate, I've cut this kite loose a long time ago. Oh, man. Alright, so anyway, the moral... I did feel like there is that part of you always where

you just, you've got that brain and and I think we'd all have this, where you go into something like that and you go, how can I be a dickhead? And I sort of got shown into my room. I went in and I'm looking through the penthouses, and I thought how funny it would be if I just walked out of the room, went back into the waiting room and grabbed myself a copy of, like, Better Homes and Gardens magazine.

I'm just going to take this from here with me, guys. Looking for a better cabinet. Yeah. Yeah. So that was it. That was my day at the – Do you often have those things? Because sometimes when I try to make jokes as well in public, I end up looking like a real dick.

I had one just in Adelaide the other week. I walked past these two girls at a party. It was a bar. It was at the Fringe Club. It's, you know, music's pumping. The place is packed. It was at the Fringe Club. It's music pumping. The place is packed. It's two in the morning. Everyone's blind.

What kind of cabinets have they got there? And I made some absolute rippers. Oh, yeah. And I tapped her, and as a joke, I said, I'm really sorry, but could you please keep it down? I'm trying to have a nap over here. She just went, we're at a party. And I did everything in my power not to just punch her.

Yeah, it is an awful, I mean, that's the curse of doing comedy. You're always looking for those idiot moments, and yeah, when mirth goes wrong. I did have an awkward moment, and Xavier, you've got a new joke that reminded me of this. Which one? I went on a first date with a girl in Adelaide, and I said there were so many mums with prams out, and I looked around and I went, man, you've got so many young mums with prams here.

What do you do? Get bored, come to Adelaide and just smash out a kid? And she's looked at me with that look of like, how old's your kid? Seven. And then she talked and and went, how old's your kid? Seven. And then she talked and she went, and that's how it related to my joke. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. She was Chewbacca.

Yeah. Xavier's got a Chewbacca joke, everyone. Hey, hey, hey, everyone knows that. Everyone's well aware of all my material. Hang on. I've heard the last couple episodes and you've said you've got a listener in Japan and stuff like this, and Xavier's still confident with the phrase, everybody knows I'm a two-packer job.

You know why? Because Xavier's so strong on social media. He's all over Facebook and Twitter. Can we talk about the social media tycoon that is Xavier McAleady? Please do. Please do. I mean, you know, I cannot be on Facebook and Twitter and only do gigs in Melbourne, but that doesn't mean people in Japan don't know who I am.

I think it means exactly that. Can I just say, you've just done a show in Adelaide, which was a reprisal of your comedy festival show called Future World. Yes. Who are you to comment on the future when you're not even fully participating in the present? It's all just about Facebook. Yeah. But it's me predicting Facebook while it exists.

It's him going, look at people on the phone. In the future, they answer their phones. There's going to be an internet one day. It's the live show equivalent of Beyond 2000. But filmed in 1985. In 20 years from now, we'll have a social networking site. Can I just say this? Speaking of Adelaide, you guys, of course,

were just over there for a couple of weeks doing the Adelaide Fringe now. Long-time listeners will know, especially if you're from overseas and not fully familiar with the different states of Australia, Adelaide on this show means one thing. It means 24-hour bakeries. It means a lot of food. Did you guys give it a run? Did you guys give it a good crack when you were there? Can I just say that? It means 24-hour bakeries to It means a lot of food. Did you guys give it a run? Did you guys give it a good crack when you were there?

Can I just say that? It means 24-hour bakeries to you too. Yeah. Okay? That's what I mean. On this show. On this show, that's all it means. We didn't say that on the number plate of South Australia it says the state of 24-hour bakeries.

God, it should though. What's it? The festival state, isn't it? Yuck. Yeah, boring. What does that mean? Yeah, the bakery state. Is it? Yeah, they have two on at once. The festival. Suddenly they're the festival state, isn't it? Yuck. Yeah, boring. Is it? Yeah, the bakery state. Is it?

Yeah, they have two on at once. The festival. Suddenly they're the festival state. I thought it was South Australia. Get a dog up here, dickhead. We went to Harndorf. That was good fun. We not only toured Adelaide, we toured the world.

We toured the world. What's Harndorf? Harndorf is what is the first German settlement. Yeah. We were playing an improv game where we finished each other's words. Wow, you guys did some serious bonding over there. German settlement. Yeah. We were playing an impro game where we finished each other's words. Words the same time. Wow, you guys did some serious bonding over there. You guys are like this now, tight ass.

We actually have a funny photo if you guys want it for your Facebook page. Don't look at me like then. I'd set you up just to go, no, we don't. I'm not like you. I wasn't thinking that. I'm a good guy. I immediately tensed up. I went, oh, rookie error. What have I done?

Good guy. I immediately tensed up. I went, oh, rookie error. What have I done? We ate like traditional German fare for lunch, which is like 47 different types of beast on a plate. Oh, my God. And it leaves you just wanting to end your life.

Yours was called the German feast for two. What a giveaway there. I did get it with, it was with Thornton. So there was, you know. There was two of you eating it. It's so disgusting because it's such heavy meat. And then they're like, oh, here's some salad. And it's like sauerkraut that's been drenched in vinegar and stuff like that. Or it's fresh potatoes just floating in a pool of mustard.

Yeah. Which is what it was. An inflatable kiddie pool of mustard. That would be amazing. Oh, man. But there was also one of those great photo boards at the front of the big German pub that has, you know, where you put your face in and it's a cartoon picture. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And, of course, me and Zave took the opportunity. There was a mother who has quite clearly blonde, like, piggy tails. Here we go. Yeah. And then a little kid. And, of course, you know, Zavia's lack of hair highlights how funny the pig tail is. So I played the mother. So we did mothering

you don't need to say that everyone already knows that everyone is well aware of what I look like they can hear it with your voice no no no but everyone knows

what I look like who I am and what I do Japan's all over that Japan's all over it Japan's definitely all over it we seem to keep forgetting we don't need context

everyone listening knows everything about Xavier his name his hair situation all of his stand up material do you pause then because you don't even know anything more about Xavier. His name, his hair situation, all of his stand-up material. Do you pause then because you don't even know anything more about Xavier.

His bank account details, the size of his dick. Everyone knows all this already. You were struggling on a list of three right there. A list of three things that have struggled for you. I realised his name. Of course everyone knows his name. His Yoda impersonation, all that stuff.

That's very good. It's a pretty good impersonation. That's what it was back then, wasn't it? Yeah, great, cool. Hey, what about this? I just quickly want to say, on the Adelaide food thing now, I've never been to... You guys sort your shit out. I've got host over here saying one thing.

I've got bloody junior guest over here saying another. We'll get back to that. We'll get back to that. We'll get back to that. Second fiddle fucking popped down over here. I just want to say on the food thing of Adelaide, you know, I've not heard, I've not been to this German place before. I'm going over there in a weekend and, you know, we've been talking about weight loss and stuff on this show

a little bit recently. I've been doing a bit of exercise. I've been trying to get some weight off. I've been successful in that. But because I'm going back to Adelaide where all this trouble of putting on weight first began for me, I'm scared. I'm trying to tell myself, you're not going to go to any of the bakeries. Just don't, just don't go at all. But I don't know that I can do that.

Man, you know what? Do yourself a favor, go to Harndorf, wipe the next three days off your calendar and just live it up. Live it up. Maybe that's what I should do. Just enjoy it. Just enjoy it. I think that's the thing. You add too much pressure to yourself. You should go full circle. Yeah. Really pack on a few KGs over there, and that'll really inspire you to work. You've proved you can take it off.

You've actually taken it off. Yeah. Just do it again. You have, actually. You have something. See, that's the bad thinking to get into. That's been my whole life for the last four years. I noticed this the other night.

We caught up on Monday night and I did. We didn't catch up. We were at work. Yeah. Let's not dress it up. There's no love between us two. I did. You're looking like Tremor.

It's good. You know, I'm trying. I'm doing my best. Yeah, that's good. Anyway, basically I'm worried. I'm worried about returning to Adelaide because it's like. We just don't eat things. We don't have that anywhere else. The special stuff that they have at the bakeries,

I feel like that's a one-time only treat, you know? It's not. It's like every couple of months for you as you go to Adelaide and eat there. I always feel like what if this is the last time? Every block in Melbourne also has a bakery. There are a few quite successful chains that run bakeries. What you're saying is willpower, and that's a really sketchy

part of me that doesn't really exist. I might be the wrong person to give advice on this because I'm not exactly in the best of shape, as all the listeners know. I always, if I'm away, I try and get into a habit and I go to the same place. Are you getting hair loss and weight loss confused again? You want to lose your hair.

Just eat the same places. What about this? So Monday night, you mentioned... Get rid of that annoying freaking hair. It just gets in the way of the good times. It weighs you down. It weighs you down. Yeah, it gives you more room for pies and stuff in the middle of the night.

I can't get to my pie because of my head. I can't even see the pies. Bullshit. You've got this huge frullet covering your mouth, and you can't penetrate through with a pie. You have to pull it to the side just to stuff the pie in. Yeah, but it gives you a good Chewbacca impersonation, though. It sure does.

It's not even that good. It's not even that good. People in Japan are now sick of it. They've heard your impersonation too many times. They're over it. It's up to Shark. Hey, Monday night. Monday night, right. So Monday night in Melbourne.

We've mentioned it before, but I help run Comedy at Spleen, which is a lovely night of stand-up every Monday in Melbourne. We were there this week. I think I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, Mikey's one of the bartenders at Comedy at Spleen. I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, what he does is, every time we come in there, I almost do it as a joke, but he answers seriously. He has dreams about comics and stuff. Every week I'll go, have, had any dreams this week? And he'd be like, yep.

And he'll have a new dream about one of the, like he dreamt for so long, for just a long time, friend of the show, Pete Sharkey, he just exclusively had dreams about Pete Sharkey. Really? Yeah, so he had like a dozen dreams about Pete Sharkey. And then like he had one or two about Steel

and every week I'd come in and go, what about me? What about me? And he's like, nah, sorry. So he just kept dreaming about Pete Sharkey. So finally, I got a dream the other day, so I was pretty happy with that. Wait, wait, wait. You mean nightmare?

Oh, savage burn. Man, good luck in grade six next year. So I'm thinking. Whoa. You have not looked happy this whole episode, And I think it's because of me. You were just... Why do we invite him in? I love you, Xavier.

No, man. That was me doing a nice, playful burn. And that had some real venom in that one. Yeah. Yeah, that was venomous. You're in primary school. Boo. Yeah, because it means I'm not smart enough to be in this room.

It means I should go back there. You win this round, Chandler. What can you say to that? You can't say anything to that? No, you're right. It's the perfect moment. You're right. I have executed that brilliantly.

So I finally popped up in one of Mikey's dreams, and we were talking about it, and then we were in there the other night, and we said, what about, and you were there, Tommy, and I said, what about. Just before we get to it, can I ask, what are the other dreams? Like when he's dreaming of Sharky, is it the same dream over and over again? No, no, no. They're all different. I don't really know what Sharky's dreams were, but I found out what my dream was.

You find out it's not you, and you already walk off. Exactly. That's what everyone does. Yeah, dreams about other people. You've got to let him finish the sentence. I had a dream about Pete. Fuck off. Off you go.

Yeah, shut up and serve me a drink. Stop slacking off. God. Hang on. Were you going to say the people's champ, Carl Chandler? No, you weren dream about Pete. Fuck off. Off you go. Yeah, shut up and serve me a drink. Stop slacking off. God. Hang on. Were you going to say the people's champ, Carl Chandler? No, you weren't. Pitch that right. The people's champ.

Sorry. Sorry. Yes. Sorry. I like that. You guys can be friends of the show, but I can be the people's champ. Yeah. That's good.

Yeah. The host of the Little Dun Dun Club and the people's champ of the Little Dun Dun Club. So, sorry. Sorry. His dream about it. Come on, Mr. Sandman. Give us what you got. Yeah, so he dreamt about me.

And we asked. I said, what about Little Dassel over here? And they're like, he's like, yep, dreamt about him as well. I'm like, what? Now, was it his dream or was it Kat, the other bartender? Well, there were two. There were two. Yeah.

Now, your dream. Mikey's dream about me, exclusively, was that I was lost in an airport. That's right. Tom Hanks in the terminal style. Yes. But then Kat piped up, the female bartender, and went, I dreamt about you as well. I dreamt that I was out to dinner with Steel Saunders, friend of the show. And Des Bishop.

And Des Bishop. And we went, oh, you were eating. Yeah. And what? You were eating with Des? I was like, no, he was the waitress. Yeah. And Des Bishop. And Des Bishop. And we went, oh, you were eating. Yeah. And what, you were eating with Des? No, he was the waitress. Yeah. Yeah.

She dreamt that you were the waitress in a dream. Yeah. Now, Mikey's dream. I reckon they need to get that stuff going in at the old semen clinic, because that is a hot image. Yeah. He's a waitress. Exactly.

Get that apron on. Get that looped on the DVD. Pig tails. Pig tails like Xavier sticking his head through that cartoon. I'll tell you what, if they did that, they'd have to add an extra drawer in that cabinet, I reckon. Just to handle the extra.

Reinforce the walls a bit, because that is coming out like a high-pressure hose. The next time you go in there, they go, oh quick, get him his porn. He's here. He likes to see him dressed up as a waitress. How do they film it without you knowing at the same time?

I like that they drugged you, filmed this porno with you, and then play it back to you as you try and... We've got the weirdest Inception porno ever. Crack it open. He'd get in there and just crack the shoes. He goes, you said this was me. This is clearly Xavier doing me. Yeah, do me as a waitress, Xavier.

Do you guys want some food? I ate it all. I've got no willpower. What I would mind most about you is that it's just so quick as well. Other people would have to hone it and whatever, and you just bang, nail it straight away. It's immediate. It's clever.

It's witty. Some kind of chameleon. Yeah, it's clever, it's witty. Some kind of chameleon. Yeah, it's very good. So my dream was that Mikey dreamt that I was at his beach house, right? And then it got to the end of the day and he decided to go to bed and he hopped in and suddenly I'm in bed with him. Going, yeah. And he's like, nah.

And I'm like, nah, it's for a sketch for a TV show. There's no cameras there or anything. It's just me going, yeah, it's showbiz. Hop in the cot with me. You're like the dream version of Gavin Disney. It sounds horrendous. That's right. Yeah.

That's great. You know what we should start? I've been waiting all that time, and that's what I came out in. That's so great. You know what we should start? So I've been waiting all that time, and that's what I came out in. That's so good. You know what we should do? We should start telling Mikey who we've got coming up on the show in advance. Oh, yeah. To try and coax him into having dreams about them.

Yeah. And then that can be a regular segment. Yeah. What's in Mikey's head this week? Yeah. Wow. How did you come up with the name? Because I'm almost as quick as Xavier.

That's how it just came to me. Hey, guys, we are going to take a very quick break. We'll be back with more Little Dumb Dumb Club with Tommy Little and Xavier Michaelides right after this. The Little Dumb Dumb Club is sponsored by Punchline DVD. Head to punchline.com.au for all your live comedy DVD needs. I'm just on here now, Carl. I like just sort of browsing through and seeing

what weird stuff I can find. They have a DVD here called Live Nude Comedy with Shannon Elizabeth. Shannon Elizabeth from American Pie. Yes, that's what it says here. Hosts six sizzling and hilarious half-hour episodes of the Showtime series combining stand-up comedy and modern burlesque.

Finally, together at last. So who's the nude? Her or the comic? I don't know. I guess you've got to buy it to find out. Wow, what a sweet ad. I'm going to totally shove over my hard-earned right now. You'll be happy to know that it's

shove over my hard-earned is an appalling choice of phrase. You'll be happy to know it's a two-disc set. Right. Yeah. Fasten your seatbelts for a wild ride. I like the stuff that's on Punchline where, you know, once you get into the sort of, you know, the deep end of the catalogue, you'll find some pretty fascinating stuff in there.

But on top of that, they've got great stuff like Arj Barker, Kyle Barron, all your favourites. So head over to punchline.com.au. Crunchline.com.au. We are back with more Little Stum Stum Club. With Xavier Michaelides and Tommy Little. G'day, Gravers. The roast has been cooked.

Yep. The gravy's ready. Let's tuck in. Here's a little podcast I prepared earlier. Can I just say what just happened then? You said, let's go to a break. Zave just, like, took his headphones off his head and went, what the fuck happened?

Because I listen to this show a lot, and that's why I can so accurately take the piss out of the both of you in such a specific, witty way. Except for the last couple of weeks when we've had ad breaks, obviously. But that's the thing, that's what I was going to say. Just wait, Carl. Hold your horses. I haven't had an internet connection for a while because I just moved, and so I haven't been.

For the last five years? No. Because you know when you move and houses,- For the last five years? No. Because you know when you move and houses, they just don't get internet. Yeah. It's really hard and takes a long time to get it hooked up. Yeah. He's been in about 10 houses in a row that didn't have Facebook or Twitter. So it's been difficult for him.

Can you guys stop your sweet burns? Let me finish this sweet story. All I was going to say is that I didn't know that these breaks had started. And I finished off before these breaks have come in. And I'd never thought it would happen. I was all geared up for an hour. I've already done all my poos and wheeze so I don't need to, you know, go for a break. It turns out I could have.

This was so worth bringing up. Xavier, we stopped talking for literally three seconds. There was this hardly break at all. I'm very sorry that you don't have poo and wheeze inside you now. That's our fault. I'll take it. Not just Des fault. I'll take it. Not just Aslo. I'll take it all on them.

I jerked off into all the cups before I came in here thinking it was going to be a full hour. And when I say poo and wheeze, you know I get confused. So there are other things. Yeah, you can go and shit in that cabinet later. Don't you dare shit in that cabinet. That's the bottom drawer. You love that cabinet.

That's the bottom drawer. Xavier's shat in my porno again. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. We've really, we've really. Hey, you know what I just realised? What? We all worked on a show together in different phases of the show.

Yeah. Which became the first show ever to get acts from Community TV. Ah, yes. Yeah. And didn't they just turn around and say, we're going to do the show again. And you guys can all audition for it if you want. Let's back up and give context. The show that we're talking about was Studio A.

To everyone at home, it's that show I was in. You know that one? Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, yeah, sure. It's on Channel 31. It's on community television in Melbourne. Hosted by Dave Thornton to start with. Me and Carl were writers on it, and then second season?

Season two. Season two, Tommy Little came in as a writer and cast member, and then Thornton left, and Little took over as host, and then Xavier came in as a writer. Little slowly clawed his way up and then found the way to kick Thornton out, and then bang, took it. Like a champion, like a people's champion. You know what I reckon happened in your head then?

I reckon you said it Expecting objection And when I didn't object You just nodded You went I better say it's a good thing Like the people champion He was expecting a stacks on

He was actually gesturing to us Going come on On This guy hit him Quick Oh no I love him Oh it's great

I sort of run towards stacks on Then just had to hug And pat you on the back And go Yeah That's what I meant to do St, it's great. I sort of run towards Daxon and then just had to hug him on the back and go, yeah, that's what I meant to do. Daxon. What a great one. Good times. Oh, Daxon was great, wasn't he?

Daxon was good. I also liked British Bulldogs, which was just like masquerading as a game, but literally it was just like run at people. Hit the littlest guy in the game with a tennis ball to the head. Pretty much. We used to have divot fights as well. Like we had a shitty square that was meant to be an oval and it would only grow kind of tufts of dirt and you could pull them up.

And because it was soft, this massive chunk of dirt would come out with it and you're all wearing white shirts. You would come back after lunch, just everybody, just brown. Yeah. Such a good time. Awesome. And throwing fountain pens at the fan as well is always a- You're a rotten hoodlum of a kid.

No, in my head, everyone did it. It's funny how this is all linked from you eventually got onto Channel 31 on Studio A. Yeah, well, I can see why now. Your criminal record will allow you, yeah. You know when you're just stealing cars out of the teacher's car park, hot wiring them and just doing doughies on the oval? Good lads just mucking about.

So then that show, then our show did get axed. Yes. Yeah, and this has just happened relatively recently, just a couple of months ago. So talk us through the process of it being axed, because it did go off in quite an interesting manner. It was a friendly, lovely process. So I'd done the show now for five seasons, which is close to three years of my life. Yeah. And I got-

You're starting to cry now, Tommy. Yeah, it's fine. And a lot of friends of the show on there. Nick Cody, Luke McGregor, Cambo. Tom Ballard was on there at one point. Tom Ballard and Edmonds in here. Yep. Yep.

Celia. Oh, no, sorry. Yes. But very briefly. Yes. Yep. Yep. Yep.

And then, so I've been ringing the producers because I was all fired up. There was a point where I thought I was going to end it, leave then. And at this point, you guys had all left as well. But then I met with some people and I was like, you know what? I should do another show. I love it. Yes, let's do another season. And so I was ringing the producers going, what's going on?

What's going on? And then finally I got a call back from someone at uh one of the organizing bodies not the producer and they said oh you might want to come in here i'm like yeah sweet and i came in and she sat me down she's like so there's gonna be a few changes to the show and like it was kind of wincing already i'm like uh okay and she goes you know why she hadn't done poos or wheeze before the meeting and she said she thought there'll be a break during the meeting. No ads in the meeting at Channel 31, apparently. And she goes, we're going to change the name of the show. And then again, kind of went, ooh, like expecting, I don't know what to happen.

But I was like, yeah, that's fine. She's like, really? I'm like, yeah, that's fine. She goes, and there's going to be a few other minor changes. I'm like, yeah, that's fine. She's like, all right, well, good, because we just wanted to tell you before we sent out this press release. And then slides the press release

over to me, I read the first. The not Tommy Little show. The first, like, two lines. It's like, we regretfully announced that after six seasons, Studio A is no longer going to go to air. We're replaced by this new show, and all the roles are open for audition. And I went, like, just as a reaction, I went, oh, fuck. And she literally said, what?

I was like, what do you mean, what? I'm reading the piece of paper you just handed me. See, let me talk you through this. Is it the typeface you don't like? The font's a bit weird, isn't it? The press release was written in Comic Sans. Let me just talk you through what's going on here. No, Sans Tommy Little, that's what it was.

I might not look it, but I've got a bit of a keen business eye. What's happened here is she's gone, we're going to make some changes, and you've said that's fine. That was your mistake there. You had your opportunity. You've signed off. That's business talk. You should have gone, I'm not okay with that.

And she would have gone, you're still in. We're going to keep it all. You just signed away your life. You're saying we should read into it. We're going to make some changes as in being you're out of the show. But you know what? How do you read that? You know what was amazing about it as well?

They still thought at the end of all, because what had happened, some new people come aboard the last season and they didn't like how the show was kind of running. And so instead of get rid of us, it was easier for them to make a new show, which they then took over. They'd take our funding and do a new show. And so we had a sit-down meeting, and I said, there's two of them, and I said, honestly, just tell me honestly, is this about creative control?

And, like, at exactly the same time, one goes, yes, and the other goes, no. Wow. at exactly the same time. One goes, yes, and the other goes, no. And they said, look, we're going to change the roles, so they're going to be presenters, not presenters, writers. We're going to have student writers, so those people aren't going to get a say in the writing. And then at the end of it all, they honestly looked at me and they go, and we're going to have complete creative control, so we say what goes to screen.

Now, if you think you can work under those conditions, we'd love to have you audition for the role of host. And they actually paused like, what do you say, big guy? So I'm auditioning. I just sent him a tape of my Studio A highlights cut up. Here's what I can do. I believe you might have seen it before.

I wouldn't have done that because I clearly didn't like that. I would have gone and filmed another new show first. Now that you say it, I haven't got the call back. But the show is going to be called... It's called Live from Bowen Street, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Oh, because Bowen Street is known around the world. Not as much as you, Xavier, but still, it's up there.

Wait, Bowen... Sorry, you go. I said to them, I said, wait, Bowen. Sorry, you go. I said to them, I said, look, you know, good luck with the show. Just please don't make it a crappy version of a commercial show. And they go, trust me, we're not going to do that. And I said, all right, because this should be your chance to make something weird, a bit different, fun. And they go, we're not going to do that.

And I said, okay, because the one thing I've seen is the title. And it happens to be an exact rip off of the one Live From Gordon Street title that already exists. The one talk show that's on air right now. Yeah. And one of the dudes goes, yeah, well, I mean, that's not set in stone. And the other chick swings around and goes,

so do you want me to change it in the press release then? And he goes, no. Given that this is at Channel 31, I'm just surprised I had a chair that can swing around. I love it. She should have just stand up and physically rotate her whole body. No, she had to jump it up and down and go. You want me to change the pressure?

No. Yeah, because she just picked up the Etch-A-Sketch that was written on it and shaked it. So what do you want on it? No, I love the idea that she's turned around and gone, oh, what should it be called then, Tommy? And ask you for a new name and then go, oh, you're not on the show though. But you can write down the name. Yeah, that'd be great if it's the Tommy Little Show and you still have ask you for a new name and they go, oh, you're not on the show though. But you can come up with a name. Yeah, that'd be great if it's the Tommy Little Show and you still have to audition for a role that you then don't get. That would actually be amazing if someone did that.

That would be great. Well, let's talk about this quickly. That does sound like an odd kind of business style meeting. It's a bit sad. It's a bit sad. I would so much rather even if I wasn't doing the show, for the show to still happen. Yeah.

It's a bit... Like we... Yeah, anyway. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But as long as something is happening, it's good. That's the point of it. Well, it was a great, you know, I guess training ground for a lot of...

Yes. And it was so much fun. It's probably largely the reason that this show exists because that's where me and Carl met and became best buddies. I remember a lot of people would say, you rarely got an opportunity to work in live TV, and live TV is heaps of fun, and that's what we got to do. So, you know, that was great. Yeah, sure.

And, you know, even now or in a couple of years, you're going to look at all the people that went through that show and go, oh, well, you could easily say that provided those people. I mean, I don't think people in Japan would know who I was without Studio A. What we're saying is, save your money from Kony 2012 and get on the petition to bring Studio A back. It's something that really matters and will actually make a difference. I love how the three of us know what's going on and Dave is just sitting there going, what the fuck is a Kony?

I still laughed like I knew what was going on and that's the key. Do you know about the Kony saga? Yeah, I know I'm all over it. Just fill us in in a couple of sentences what it's about. Oh, well, there's too many Coney's. You know what? He's actually right. You've taken a negative angle on him there.

No, no, he's actually right. He's actually correct. Technically, that's correct. And because I know what it is, and that's why I'm right. Why is a Coney, in your words, a bad thing? Oh, well, you know, you've got to keep them down and not have too many of them. So, look, mate, if you don't know what it is,

I can't fucking help you. Technically, he's still right. He's still accurate. This is the key to it. You don't have to be on Facebook and all your little, your MyTwitters. You just say yes, you laugh, and you don't be too specific, and you can cruise through life.

Can you be my Melbourne dad? Can I ask one more question? I'm going to allow this. Who is the real victim in the Coney saga? I think, you know, we all are in some way. Again, I'm not 100% well versed in it, but I actually think that's still kind of correct. Years and years of Perth impro class.

Well, what I was going to say, talking about that meeting you just had, me and Carl had a meeting relating to this show. Oh, are we going to talk about this? I think we're going to talk about this because I think maybe we shouldn't be, but I think we're going to in the grand edition of this program. Tommy's return punch for, hey, you went to a jizz doctor. Yeah, I was going to say, we crossed the line of stuff we shouldn't talk about on the show a long, long time ago.

As we just mentioned before, we've got a bit of advertising on the show now. We've got the very lovely Punchline have come on board. But only stuff that we believe in. Yes, yes. And Punchline are awesome. Yeah. Lovely people that we believe in. Yes, yes. And Punchline are awesome. Yeah. Lovely people that we know personally.

Tommy, you can't have any of our money from this, so don't bother bigging them up. Just give us a five a dickhead. I'll give you a Harley Breen DVD on the way. You just want the Cole Elliott DVD, don't you? Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. But we got a guy, we had a guy get in touch with us

who wants to help facilitate us getting more advertisers on the program. So we went and we met up with him for a coffee in the middle of the day in the city, had a chat with him for about an hour. Carl and I both had a Coke. He had a coffee. We had a chat. We had a nice chat with him. He seemed like a nice enough dude. Yeah, because you guys are eight-year-old kids.

Exactly. Perfect. Did you have a banana smoothie? Uh-huh. Yep. A curly straw? A blue heaven spider? We were a little bit late to the meeting

because we're not supposed to cross the road by ourselves. To wait for a scout to come up? Can you help us, mate? You couldn't go further than the corner of your walk. Okay, are we done? Not yet. So I've got a few more. No, you go through it, Iz. Okay, so I've got my Sponge. I've got a few more. No, you go through it.

Okay, so I've got my SpongeBob backpack. We're sitting there. We're having this meeting. He seemed like he was talking us through his idea, and we sort of said, well, great, go for it. If you can find people to advertise on this program, that'd be great. We'd be happy to talk within reason of what it is. We don't want to just be doing anything,

but see what you can find out and come back to us. He goes, great, nice to meet you guys. We all shake hands. He gets up, walks straight out of the cafe. Carl turns to me and goes, did he just not pay for his coffee? So we've just had a business meeting with this guy who's trying to convince us that he's competent. And I'm sitting there the whole time going, this is going to be a thing where

it's a business meeting that he's invited us to. He'll be paying for our drinks and be paying for everything. That's standard practice, would you not say? He gets up and not only doesn't pay for our stuff, but just walks straight out the door. And I just turn to him and go, that's us? We got the whole bill, have we? All right. That's happened.

It's a good first foot together fund. Just to put things in perspective, the whole bill was what, $9.70? To be fair, that is more than we've earned from a year and a half of podcasts. So that's something. But I think, would you say that that's a fair thing? You invite someone out to discuss a business deal of some kind, you're picking up the bill. That's just a dumb thing, isn't it? I do agree that it's in his interest to sort of show that he's got money.

At the very least, he should pay for his own. At the very least. That's the worst. No, that's worst case scenario. Yeah, exactly. If you're splitting a bill of $9, that's worse than not paying for it. Yeah. Really?

Yeah, because that's saying I care, but not enough to give you $3. Like, at least he's got the excuse of maybe, just maybe, he thought he'd already paid. Do you know what I mean? Maybe there's something like that. Yeah. But the other one is like, no, no, I've consciously thought of this. You're not worth two cokes.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. I see your point. Which, I mean, it's a valid, he's right, but. Hey, come on. And so, are you going to, what happens now? How many abuse of emails did you send? I feel I shouldn't get involved in this issue too much,

given what I've been talking about the last couple of weeks. I was just thinking that, yeah. Old mate won't buy his girlfriend dinner. Well, because that was the weird thing, was after he left and we realised that he wasn't going to pay for his coffee, Carl's gotten on the phone to get his girlfriend down to see if she could pay for it. And then hung up the phone and gone,

she's coming, quick, Daso, eat whatever you can. We need to jack this baby up a bit. And also, to be fair, I didn't really ring her. I just rang it a couple of times and then hung up so I wouldn't have to pay for it. That's our signal so I don't have to pay for the phone call. She just comes down. Yes. But you're not going to – are you going to go with this guy?

What do you think you're doing? It depends who he finds as someone. Do you ever split, or where do you draw the line on products? Like what's acceptable? I mean, obviously at the moment you've got a great fit, Punchline, comedy DVDs, that's something we support, and he's been so supportive to like comedy in general. That's great.

Where do you draw the line? Well, we've discussed this. Food, any kind of food, anything we sort of talk about and can make it. Tommy, you know they don't just give you food. Damn it! I think you'd be better off, you guys, doing like Alka-Seltzer and Metamucil because you eat so much crap food you need to either shit or not have gas. Stuff that we use.

So Deslo's already drawn a line and said no razors or condoms or anything like that. The condoms are because I'm a massive fan of raw dog. If there was some sort of pill you could take. How did you just talk after that? We should have had a minute's silence after that sweet layup I just did. I was ready for the wave of applause to come from people who aren't even here. I'm standing near the window. You guys can't see this, but there's a crowd just holding up pictures

of my head in the street. To be honest, I actually didn't listen to it. But once again, I just keep smiling, nodding, acting like I'm a part of it. You thought it was Twitter. Yeah. Tell me, what was the general topic of what I said? I don't even know. He just goes, yeah, all right, raw dog.

Now. Wait, so Carl says something about razors and condoms. And then you came in and said. Let's not do a retrospective of the show during the show. And then you said, oh, because there's raw dog. At least if you're going to do Carl says, then do Carl says. Oh, yeah. Carl says.

Like that, because that's how he talks. I don't know. So where would you draw the line? If someone came to you tomorrow and said, you know what, I've got this great product. I like that you're addressing

this just to me as well, because I am the host, so I do have complete control. Why talk to Buddy Third Fiddle down when you can talk to King Dick over here? The one and only time you'll be referred to as King Dick.

Enjoyed. I liked when we had Cal Wilson and Fiona around. Don't talk to the people's champ. Talk to the people's raw dog. That's the bottom of this. Toothpaste. Someone said toothpaste. Why would toothpaste even work?

Now I'm glad you're addressing that at him. I just want to get a bar of where you're at. So toothpaste? Toothpaste, probably not. What are you... If anything, something like that that was that obscure... If Colgate walked in the door,

we'd have to rethink that. Ah, well, here's your surprise. Bring him in. Something that was that obscure and weird, we probably would just because it's so far

out of the realm of common sense. Okay, that's fine. What if it was condoms? Uh, yeah. You just looked at Chandler like a scared kid Then of like, oh I'm over my head

And let's put it on the record that I looked away No support So have you heard him? Put that on the record Okay Do you know what a record is? Oh yeah, it's similar to a raw dog isn't it? It's like a coney That's what the coney thing's about

Don't any coney's on your records. Guys, that's just about it for us. Just before we get out of here, Xavier, if you can just recite the last 50-odd minutes for us, go. Reenact it all. So I start off and I said, G'day, Groovers, as a reference to a joke that I do offstage that no one knows about.

And then... What? Just you tuned out tuned out Dave you've got a show at the comedy festival coming up sure do it's called

The Brain Whisperers at 7.15 at the Portland Hotel and it's going to be great it starts on Thursday the 29th Tommy Little you've got a show

at the comedy festival I do it's called A Fistful of Apologies it's at 9.30 at Arthur's Bar for the whole run come down

have a chuckle I saw it in Adelaide and it's very funny so check it out alrighty well that is us for this week well hey very quickly Apologies. It's at 9.30 at Arthur's Bar. The whole bar. Come down and have a chuckle. I saw it in Adelaide and it's very funny, so check it out. Alrighty. Well, that is us for this week. Well, hey, very quickly, the Dum Dum T-shirts. Yes. At the moment, like we said last week, we've got a few DVDs from Punchline. We are shifting units now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you want it at the moment, because we've got a bunch of freebie DVDs, you can get in very quickly. The next probably half dozen people that send in will get DVDs shipped out with them. Sweet deal. Yeah, so hit us up at littledumdumclub at gmail.com. Yes, indeedy.

And we've got the live shows on sale at the Comedy Festival on Monday nights in the Melbourne Town Hall. Yeah, and it's only a couple of weeks away, so we've already started confirming guests. Yes, locked in a big one yesterday, which we're very excited about. Yeah, very excited. Well, I'm happy to come down.

All right, guys, that's all the time we've got for today. Hey, thanks for having us, gents. Yeah, thanks. Sorry that you can't use any of that. I'm really sorry

that you're going to have to finish and go through your phone book going, who can we get on? It's been a really good just test out of the mics. Yeah, there'll be a good minute and a half in there, surely.

All right, now, are we going to start the real thing? Guys, thanks very much for listening. We're on Twitter, we're minute and a half in there, surely. Alright, now, are we going to start the real thing? Guys, thanks very much for listening. We're on Twitter, we're on Facebook.

Hit us up, littledumbdumbclub at gmail.com and we will see you next time. See ya, mates!