The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 90 - Corinne Grant

Episode Date: June 13, 2012

The Internet, Gary Chook and Dame Edna. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, welcome once again into the little dum-dum club for another week. My name is Tommy Dasolo, thank you for joining us and sitting opposite me is the other half of the show, Carl Chandler. G'day dickhead. Now we've mentioned this a couple of times on the show before, we are coming to Sydney in a few weeks time to do our first ever live dum-dum Club outside of Melbourne at the Sydney Comedy Store on July 8th. You can get tickets now, comedystore.com.au. Thank you to everyone who has been helping us in our quest to get Larry Emder to be one of our guests.

Well, that's a new thing. We didn't mention that last week. We've only just started doing that this week. So, yeah, if you follow us on Twitter, you will have noticed that we've launched a full-on – a lot of people got on and were throwing tweets at him, which was very cool. At larryemder.com. No, not.com. At larryemder.com. The old man.

Telling my dad. Jesus Christ. At 1800 0055 larryemder.com. Backslash the internet. Yes. He – finally, big news last night. He responded. He's responded to the tweeting, although we're still yet to get any kind of confirmation

from him. He seems keen. He's taken the bait. Yeah. He's asking for what's on his rider, so that's, he's playing ball. The way he's playing along to the tweeting makes me excited to get him on, because he's been pretty funny so far. So if anyone listens to the show and is going to a Price is Right taping in the next week

or two, get picked, get down, and when it goes higher and lower, just say, go on Dumb Dumb Club, Larry. Yeah. And forfeit the fridge and the showcase and everything, but just get our point across. Yeah, that'd be good. That'd be really good. So everyone, if you're on Twitter, at Larry Emder on Twitter, let's tip him. I'm pretty confident that we can tip him over the edge by the end of the week.

Yeah. So we do also have lots of guests. Luke McGregor is making the trek up with us, which will be fun. We've got two other great guests lined up. So Comedy Store, July 8th, comedystore.com.au is where you can get your tickets if you're in Sydney. Carl, what did you have? What happened now? I just wanted to say this on the way in today.

And maybe this is a pretty common sense stuff. This is what really annoys me. I saw two of this on the way in today, right? Two of this. Two of this. And go. Two different people on two different occasions. You know when someone walks in front of a car and just goes, you can stop.

The car can stop. Not me. Yep. I won't scoot across the road. It wasn't even me in the car today. It just annoyed me so much. It's like, because they give the car a look like, you're on my turf, mate. No, you're not.

You're on the road. You're a couple of hundred kilograms of metal hurtling towards you at 60 kilometers an hour. And the guy goes, no, mate, it's my rules here. Like, why would you do that? Even if you're on the footpath and a car went up the footpath, I'd be like, nah, it's probably your call here.

I'll jump out of the way. I'm not going to give you a look like, don't mess with 60 kilos of flesh. It's like at pedestrian crossings on tram lines where there'll be a sign saying, pedestrians give way to trams. It's like, no shit, it's bigger than you. It's interesting that you say that though, because I've noticed that recently, an abundance when I've been driving around, like more than usual, of people just stepping out in front of cars. Yeah.

Literally just in the last month. I don't know what's going on. Is it like some kind of festival or something? They give it a look like, they look at the car, I've seen them look at the car like, well, you better stop, mate, otherwise you'll be in a lot of trouble. Hey, I reckon you'll be in more trouble if it doesn't stop. Like, oh, sure. Like, you give it a look like, oh, you're going to be in prison.

Yeah, but you're going to be dead. This is the most AM radio this show has ever been. We're complaining about pedestrians. And I am doubling my old man-ness complaining about this after going 1-800-dot-com, whatever I was saying. Twitter.com slash 1-800-pedestrians hyphen go away dot. Thumbs up, thumbs down., letters to the editor.com. Today on the show, very special guest.

We are very stoked to have her in here. You will know her from Rove and Airways and an abundance of other things. Please welcome into the little dum-dum club, Corinne Grant. Yeah, the sound of two people clapping. Used to that. Sweet. Sweet. You drive a car that's a couple of hundred kilograms heavy.

What is it, a Daewoo? What do they weigh? I don't know. What do cars weigh? About a ton, half a ton. Yeah, something like that. I still don't know what that is, though. More than a couple of hundred kilograms.

That's the weight of Joe Hockey. Right. Yeah, I guess, yeah. No, that's not true. Yeah, what does it weigh? We were doing ads for the, you're the spokesperson for a car insurance company, yeah. No, that's not true. Yeah, what is it? What are you doing? You're the spokesperson for a car insurance company, aren't you? This is- Not anymore.

Oh, not anymore. Okay. No, I did an ad for an online car insurance company, what, a year and a half, two years ago? Mm-hmm. And you really got inside the role by weighing cars and stuff before you started? I did. I'm a method actor.

Robert De Niro, Daniel Day-Lewis style. I'm a method actor. Robert De Niro, Daniel Day-Lewis style. I'm a method actor. I became the car, which really pissed off the director and the company. For like a year, you were just letting people drive you around. I didn't answer anyone except by going beep, beep. It was really annoying for everybody else, but I really felt I embodied that role. That Pixar movie Cars, that was a documentary about your life.

It was. It was like the Tropic Thunder version of my role. And you walked out of that voiceover session straight into the street, didn't look where you were going, just crossed the road. In Canberra, Canberra drivers are messed up. In Canberra, it's like a challenge when you step as a pedestrian, you step onto the road, they speed up. They kind of come at you.

Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of creepy. And it's a town full of roundabouts. I think they've got some kind of, without the traffic lights there, they're a law unto themselves. No one's ever told them to stop, man, so they don't. Maybe there's just nothing better to do in Canberra but run people over.

Except run people over. Yeah. I think you're onto something there. It's a weird place, Canberra. The whole thing feels like a movie set. Do you know what I mean? It feels like a little fake. Like a really shit movie.

A little fake main street that someone set up somewhere. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, I know what I mean? It feels like a little fake. Like a really shit movie. A little fake main street that someone set up somewhere. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, I know what you mean. It's sort of like it should be something, but it isn't. Maybe. Is that it? It feels to me like you're on perpetual school camp.

Yeah. And all of the politicians and all of their staff have their own pubs that they go to, and everyone's got their gangs, and they all go to particular restaurants, and then everyone whispers about each other behind their backs. You go, oh, God, it's like being 16 again. I want to get out of this town. It's a bit like it should be the most important. Like everyone there is sort of like, they should have a bigger ego.

You know, going, we're the capital. No, we can't even kid anyone else. This is pretty ordinary. You know, but they should be arrogant. They're the number one city in the country, but they're just a country town, aren't they? But is that, yeah, that's interesting. Like in this country that, yeah, our capital is so shit.

Like, is that really, what other countries have that, where their capital is like, you know, boring? But if you play that game, you know, when you do Trivial Pursuit or trivia like that, when they say, you know, name the capital of some country, it'll generally be the equivalent of Canberra, though, won't it? It'll generally be, oh, that's a pretty average place I've never heard of. Paris is pretty shit. A lot of roundabouts in Paris.

There's that big one, but no one ever talks about that. If it wasn't for that Eiffel Tower, there would be people running other people over. A lot of porn and fireworks in Paris, though. Yes. Why not? Yeah. Oh, maybe that one thing blows my whole theory out of the water. Yeah.

All right, I'll give up on that one. Yeah. So we're in here. It's a public holiday. There's a tray of fairy bread waiting in here for us, which was very nice. I don't know why that's here. I suspect it's been waiting for about a week. Yeah.

There's usually street press in this studio. Oh, no. No, here it is. Yeah, yeah. Considering the hundreds and thousands seem to be crawling off the bridge, I wouldn't be going anywhere near it. There's usually street press in here celebrating Christmas. So I don't know how long that's been there for. This one's Marilyn Manson.

He was here in, like, February. What, 2001? Yeah, 29th of February, 2002. Pretty current, actually. It's like a doctor's waiting room in here. Now, you've mentioned some of Corinne's credits, and I think one of the most important ones would be, especially to what we've talked about on this show before.

The car insurance ad? No. No? No. Jeez. That's number two in my eyes. You're part of the legendary The Lost City of Gold TV show, Die on Your Feet.

Yes. Yes. It's a great fleets opus. Yeah. I know. I keep doing pick-ups for it as well. Oh, really? I've done a bit of, yeah, I've done one filmed pick-up,

but I've gone in and done a bit of voice pick-up for it as well. So in theory, it's still being worked on. Did you start that when Marilyn Manson toured last in front of that street press? It's so long ago now. I was blonde in that show. Oh, really? Yeah.

So pick-ups are a little bit more difficult now because I'm really not blonde anymore. So when were you in there last? Is there actually recent activity? Yeah, I did something at the start of the year for it. It's still on the boil. It's just that the production company are just taking their time with it, finding out where they are. I don't know what they're doing.

I don't know what they're doing. Boil is a pretty strong word. Simmer. Simmering. It's been left out in the sun. It's sitting on the air. It's been left out. Sundried TV.

Sun tea. Have you seen an episode of 30 Rock? Sun tea. Okay, yeah, because that's, like, we had Fleety on here, one of our early, early episodes, and then it was about to come out. Even then, I think it had been. It was dragging its feet a little bit even at that point. Oh, yeah, it exists.

And there's talking to people. It's just, yeah, the producers are deciding where they want it to go. I don't know. I don't know. It was fun to do, although I thought it would be fun because I played an alcoholic who just screamed abuse at everyone. I went, oh, this is going to be like awesome. Just get to act like a drunk person and it'll be really cathartic.

After two days of screaming at people, I just went, oh, this is really horrible. Screaming at Adam Hills is like saying fuck to Ben. Yeah, yeah. It's horrible. It's horrible. Is there any truth to the rumour it's going to debut on TCM, Turner's Classic Movies?

It's just going to be sepia coloured by the time it comes out. Clips from it will be used for Where Are They Now? Yes. I think what needs to happen is Fleety needs to die and then it'll definitely come out. You know what I mean? Well, we've already had one cast member die. Oh, really?

Yes. Adam Hills. Oh, sorry. No. He necked himself after you screamed at him so much he couldn't handle it anymore. I don't know. I don't know't handle it anymore. I don't know. I don't know if I can say because I don't know whether that person...

Spoiler alert. Because I think that person's role, I think I would be giving away a pivotal plot point if I said who it was. Oh, I think I know. I think I might know who you're talking about. Oh, I know who it is. Yeah, don't say it then.

The great man of Australian cinema. Yeah. Yes. No, no, no. Greg Evans is still alive. Oh, right. say it then. The great man of Australian cinema. Yeah. Yes. No, no, no. Greg Evans is still alive. Oh, right. What movie's he been in? I don't know. Was he in Alvin Purple? Oh, yeah. Was he?

I don't know. I've got no idea. I doubt it. I don't even know what those two words are. You are so fucking young. I hate you. Sort of like American Pie. Can I swear on this? Yeah, you can. Good. For sure. I love it when people get angry at someone for being young. Like, it's my fault when I was conceived and born. You'll get there.

I'm already getting there a little bit. Like, I'm, like, I, yeah, I'm just, like, I'm 26 in a couple of months. Yeah. Which is just, you know, old, like, you know, I'm far enough away from high school that people who are just finishing and getting out and, like, already really successful. Like, a TV show that I do a bit of work on, there's a girl there who's like working on it who's like fresh out of high school. Right.

You know what I mean? And it's taken me, you know, a few years to get anything. I walked past last night because it's a public holiday today. I walked past a nightclub in my neighborhood last night and there was a bunch of people all Yahooing around. Dot com backslash. As the young people want to do A group of youngins altavistering around

Webcrawling around I had the most brutal wake up to the fact that I wasn't a young person anymore When I was about 22 And that's still really quite young But I was scrutineering for HC exams out in Broadmeadows. All right, now you've lost me. AGC exams. HSC.

Oh, HSC. HSC. My hearing's gone. Please, an AGC exam. I'm like, you lost me. Get your bloody hearing trumpet out. Hold it up to those headphones. Carl, did you do the school?

I did. There was a school. There was a thing called, oh, it's called the VCE now. Yes, yes. So the VCE. So, yeah, I was scrutineering like an English or a maths exam or something because I didn't have enough. Scrutineering is where you watch over. You're the one sitting at the front while the kids are doing the exam.

And I thought, this will be good because I'm like only a couple of years out of school myself. I know it's broadie, but it's going to be fine because, you know, I'm the same age as them. I'm hip to their jibe, which was still a phrase you used 150 years ago when I was 22. Walked in, no, they hated me. And I realised very quickly there's a big difference between 18 and 22. Yeah, right. And they were horrible.

I walked out and went, oh, I'm old. Yeah. Of course, now I would love to be 22. Exactly. I was about to say that same thing. I feel like I feel now, like at 25, but I know that when I'm 30, I'll look back on this as my glory days. I turn 39 tomorrow, so screw you!

I did notice that. I did notice that. No, no, no. I knew it was your birthday because I was looking you up on IMDb. Because of the tears in my eyes? No, because I checked your ID before you came into the studio. This is kind of a weird thing of the internet where in between recording this episode and the episode coming out online, you will have turned 39. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. In that little gap. That little day. Send belated birthday wishes to- I will be editing the sound of your voice while it's your birthday. Wow. Okay. It's also Hug a Climate Scientist Day, so I'm just going to pose as a climate scientist for the day.

Get random. Hug a Climate Scientist Day. So I'm just going to pose as a climate scientist for the day. Get random. How do you climate scientist day? I know, which I think is a lovely idea, but where do you find a climate scientist? I have never bumped into a climate scientist anywhere. Yeah. Not in my local cafe. Those people who are on the street that give away free hugs are going to get really specific tomorrow. If I was them, I'd be wearing a white lab coat.

Yeah. Yeah. Right. So you walk past a nightclub and you were assaulted by youth. I just had that overwhelming feeling of saying to them, like they're running around, scallywagging around, and I just felt like saying to them, I could do that if I wanted to. You know?

Yeah. Like they were going in there having fun. I just happened to have been buying a double pack of Yogo at 10 o'clock at night for some reason. I have to say, I'm a bit worried about you. Like on Friday afternoon, we were on Facebook chatting. I went, so what's up? What's up tonight?

What's up for the weekend? And you just went, nothing. Yeah. No, but I don't do stuff on the weekend. Little Carl. I do my stuff. I'm out every night during the week doing little gigs, telling my little riddles. Sad little Carl.

Stop making that voice. No, I do. I take weekends off as well. Yeah. I don't very often go out on the weekend and when I do, I'm the same because I work during the week and I go out after I work. On the weekend, if I go out, I go, oh, where did all the people come from? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, it's Friday. Oh, don't I like going out on the Friday with the people? Yeah. Well, it's like during comedy festival, you know, you're out every night and, you know, you walk around and have a few drinks and get dinner on a Tuesday after your show. Yeah, I love that. And then Saturday, you know, because you start drinking quite late if you go into the high five.

So it'll be like 10.30 and you're still relatively sober and there's just human filth everywhere. Yeah. Because the days of the week sort of don't mean that much when you're in the festival because every night's the same. Yeah, exactly. Well, especially... What are people doing? I do not love it.

Especially today because this is the Queen's birthday as we're recording this today. We've got... It's a public holiday. Shout out to her. Yes. Friend of to her. Yes. Friend of the show. Yep. Is she?

Can I say that? Boy, didn't you both get on the Queen's Honours list today? I'm pretty sure I read your names. There's no orders for podcasting. Yeah. We are going over to London to do a live Dum Dum Club, so get on at the Queen. Get on Twitter at the Queen and get her to come on as a guest. Crazy people on the internet will believe that.

Like someone... Should I say this? Yeah. You know when you can take liberties on Twitter and whatever and, you know, you're clearly joking. We were talking about this a little bit before we started broadcasting today. I put out a joke this morning that was, the joke was still wondering what Mad Magazine must have called Captain Stubing on the love boat when they did their parody of it back in 1978 or whatever. I saw that and I'm so stupid I didn't get it. Oh, well, maybe it's me.

Maybe it's me that's at fault because someone just, people kept messaging me saying, Captain Stupid? And I'm like, well, I thought that was the obvious one, but maybe it wasn't. I thought I was being clever, but obviously not. I like that though when you get like a hundred of the same response. Like I put yesterday, I put, which is the better Ridley Scott film, The Alien or Blade Running? And I just got heaps of people going, Blade Running,

isn't that about that Jamaican bobsled team in the future? Like just about 20 of them. I went, all right, good work, guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well done. That's good. That's better than the people right back in Co. It was called Alien and Blade Runner.

I wanted that, though. I really wanted that. I was really hoping I'd get lots of angry ones. You need a few of my followers. Yeah. That is, maybe I can ghostwrite some of your tweets. That's my favourite thing is deliberately getting things just a tiny bit wrong. I actually got spammed by someone who claims to be a ghostwriter,

like a tweet ghostwriter, and said discretion, discretion guaranteed. I felt like writing back and going, considering you just wrote to me on Twitter saying you were a ghostwriter, I think the discretion bit's kind of knocked out of the water now. And discretion guaranteed with those things that I'm going to put on the internet for the public to read. Yeah. But you mentioned, Corinne, that you've got your followers

because you do put some stuff out there sometimes on your Twitter account. Yeah. It's not like Joan Rivers. You don't have people writing your one-liners for you. You're putting out some thoughtful stuff, some politics. Yeah, I know. Yeah, it's a weird stream. Because I put jokes out on Twitter and then I forward articles that I find interesting because I'm quite a news nerd and a political nerd.

And then I put out a lot of political stuff as well. So I've got people who follow me because I'm a comedian, people who follow me because of the information I put out, and then a whole lot of that political nerdery that there's a whole bunch of us involved in. So I tend to please and displease everybody all at the same time. Right, right. For every tweet I put out, somebody will write back and go, don't be so stupid and make jokes about it.

Or I'll put something out and go, why't be so stupid and make jokes about it. Or I'll put something out and go, why don't you try and be funny about it? Have you got regular people that still follow you the whole time but are still sniping away the whole time? No, I block them. I don't know. I'm of the opinion it's my Twitter account and if you annoy me, I'm allowed to block you and that's not rude. But no, I have ongoing dialogues with a whole bunch of different people

and have had from the start. Like I've got the regular people that I have little conversations with and I follow some of them and I don't follow others. Yeah, but no, but the ones who constantly – there's a few though. You know the ones that you go, are you taking the piss? Are you being an asshole? Oh, no, you just have a sense of humour that only you get. Yeah, right.

You know those people who just go are you being oh no you're not being an asshole that's you thinking you're hilarious all right we'll just let that one slide when when you block people do they know they're blocked they would only know if they try to message you or tweet you if they noticed that all of a sudden they weren't following you anymore and they tried to follow you again they would know but if they put your name into a tweet it still exists in the world i just don't see it you don't see it yeah okay but so if they put your name into a tweet, it still exists in the world. I just don't see it. You don't see it. Yeah.

Okay. That's interesting. So they put it out there, but they don't know that you're not seeing it? Do they know you're not seeing it or not? Well, I actually, I tell people when I'm blocking them. Block me now and I'll tell you. This would be unfortunate if I just checked and noticed I already was blocked. It's already, yeah, yeah.

I don't want to upset you or anything. Uh-oh. I blocked Gary the Chook. He's already, yeah, yeah. I don't want to upset you or anything. Uh-oh. I blocked Gary the Chook. He was just offensive. Not Gary the Chook. Gary the Chook doesn't tweet anymore. There's no the in the middle. Oh, is it just Gary Chook?

It's just Gary Chook. I'm 105. Gary the Chook. That's Gary the Chook. It's got quite a beak on him, hasn't he? We don't talk about Gary Chook on this show as much as we really should. I don't think we talk about it at all. I don't think we've ever talked about it.

That's what I mean. I miss Gary Chook. We should talk about it more. Gary Chook was cutting edge. Very, very briefly, Gary Chook is a character that I do. I thought we were going to perpetuate that. No, let's not do that. Let's not talk about him any more than we need to.

Why does Gary Chook not tweet anymore? Because, you know what? Look, very quick backstory. Gary Chook is a very incredibly offensive character of a comedian that I do on stage sometimes, and I don't do it that much anymore, but I'm trying to be the biggest blokey Australian has-been-horrible-hack that I can. And I've got a Twitter account for Gary Chook,

but I notice that whenever I'm halfway through writing a joke for the Gary Chook account, I think, I've just spent 15 minutes trying to write a joke about getting oral sex from a relative of mine. I'm like, this is way too much. If I had a timesheet for Gary Chook, I would be mortified. Right. Okay. Okay.

All right. I've literally done that a few times. It just saves me that you have to think through the tweets. It is funny because I'm like, is that offensive enough? Or Gary wouldn't really... Gary wouldn't have sex with that person. This is consistent with Gary Chook's character. And his narrative.

His narrative arc. It's just at Gary Chook on Twitter, isn't it? At 1-800-Gary-Chook, yes. There's no point following him, though, because Gary Chook doesn't tweet, because I was going through my list. All right, I'm going to check. I'm sure I've tweeted recently-ish. I'm still obsessed with the idea of having him on the show.

No. I just love the idea of there being a pretense where Carl couldn't make it in today. No. Fairly R-rated show. I don't know. I'm getting a bit of resistance, but. Can you feel that? I can feel that. Like don't know. I'm getting a bit of resistance. But... Can you feel that? I can feel that.

Like a solid block. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was reading this thing the other day, Corinne, which I was curious to hear your take on. There was a thing about newsreaders, female newsreaders, the other day where I think a girl on Channel 9 had stopped working there and she was working on another program now, but she was saying that at Channel 9 she had, I don't know if I should be saying Channel

9, but anyway. But did she say Channel 9? Yeah, she did actually. Yeah, so. Yeah, so it's fine. So you can both get sued. It's fine. Yeah, yeah.

So it was only like a year ago, she was still being told what she should be wearing and maybe she should be being a bit more racy and stuff like that. Now you've worked in TV and plenty of programs and stuff before. Because it's sort of a bit of a surprise to me that in this day and age, I guess, like even in the last year, that people are still saying that out loud with their mouths in TV. Yeah, they still, yeah. Look, I don't know.

It depends where you're working as well. Working on Rove Live, no, I could wear whatever I liked. And I actually had a policy of not wearing anything too short or anything low-cut because I didn't want anything distracting from what was coming out of my mouth. Whereas working on SBS, maybe that would be like put more clothes on, put a burqa on. Oh, no, if I was working on SBS, I would have done it with a boob out,

for sure. And also you didn't want to clash with what Pete was wearing. Yeah, that's right, that's right. He dressed like a hooah on that show. Yeah, but I know the newsreader thing is really quite interesting, I think. And I don't know. There is a certain look for a newsreader, I suppose. But if she was saying that it was, you know,

they wanted it to be a little bit racy and sexy, that is really pretty 1950s stuff, isn't it? So you haven't encountered anything like that with TV before? No, I did. When I was working, when Rove started on Channel 9 back in 1999, I would have been like a size 12 to 14, which is an average size girl. And I'm quite tall, so there's no way I'm ever going to go below a size 12. It's physically impossible unless I start chopping out ribs. And I don't think they knew what to do with me. I would say I'm a size

12 to 14 and they'd go to dress me and every time there were size 8 to 10 trousers in there and I just couldn't fit into them. So I used to bring in my own trousers because I couldn't fit into the stuff. I thought it was hilarious. I just went, what, am I the biggest person who's ever been in here? This surely cannot be right. But I thought that was hilarious. Yeah.

So it didn't happen at Channel 7? Like when you were working on Airways, there wasn't anyone saying, look, I know you're only doing the narration, but maybe if you could do it. You've got to wear a burka in the voiceover, please. If you could wear a miniskirt, I think we could hear that. That would sound sexier. They are awesome people. I love working on that show.

They're the same as me. They're rough as guts. And so we'll be, you know, I'll be recording it and they will be just as rude as me. They'll come and go, hey, could you do that again? But maybe a little less shit this time. I'll go, yeah, why don't you write a better fucking script? Hey, that's it, that's it. It's great fun.

I was wondering this. Doing the narration on that show, has that changed your experience with flying at all? If you're ever on a plane and it's delayed, is there a passenger next to you going, oh, this will be on the show, won't it? Just letting it fire up. Yeah, you do get a bit of that.

And also maybe too when I did a bit of tweeting about how much I dislike Qantas, maybe that turned into a story. Oh, right. Because I really did get quite screwed over by them. They were so incredibly rude to me. And I do not fly Qantas. That was like a good. Is that your choice or theirs though now?

That was a good year and a half ago. And unless I have absolutely no other choice, I don't fly Qantas anymore. What did they do? Oh, I just, you know, I booked a flight and then I wanted to use points to upgrade and then I rang them up about it and they were just really rude on the phone and said, well, you booked the wrong class and that's not our fault. You should have read the fine print. And I said, oh, I did.

But the fine print in two different areas minutely says something different and it looks a little bit misleading. And she just got really aggressive with me and I went, oh, just hang on a second. She goes, you just interrupted me. And I went, what? How did I? Well, okay, can I just speak to someone else? Put me on hold forever. She put you under the air marshal then.

Put me on hold forever. And then I think what happened was that she then spoke to the other person. By the time I got on the phone, I went, oh, hi, just look. You just, and I went, oh, okay. You people are screwed. And then I tried to get an apology from them and tweeted. And this was my favorite bit. I tweeted and said, wow, you know, that was really rude.

And Qantas wrote back and said, we'd really like your feedback on this so that it doesn't happen again. I went, why don't you fix what happened to me? And then I spent hours filling out this form for them, send it off. And they wrote back and said, you sent it to the wrong department. And it just went on and on and on and on and on. Did you see stuff like maybe, because we've got overseas listeners, Airways is like a, what do you call it?

A reality show, a reality documentary show about- Yeah, it's a reality show about a low-cost airline. Tiger is like, what's that one that flies in Britain that everyone sits in plastic tub seats? It's one of those really low-cost. It's the cheapest, kind of crummiest, like absolutely no free. Everyone's got one. Yeah, everyone's got one.

And they work, you know, really relatively well if you follow the rules to a T. If you don't follow the rules to a T, you're going to end up into trouble. So, basically, the show is a lot of angry bogans losing their shit in a terminal. And it's really funny. I love it. Did you ever see stuff that you didn't want to see, though? Like, was there stuff that made you fearful about flying?

You know, did you see bad stuff behind the scenes, maybe? Anything like that? No, no, no. Wasn't like Food Inc. where you went, oh, I don't want to eat any burgers anymore. This is wrecked it. No, no, no. It does make you, you know, not want to get onto a flight

with a footy team. Yeah, yeah. Whereas before you were like, what's that? Woo, future husbands. Was there stuff that they chopped out that they couldn't see, that they couldn't broadcast that you saw? Was there stuff that they chopped out that they couldn't see, that they couldn't broadcast that you saw? Was there like really – Not that I saw, but I mean there would be with any show

there'd be stuff that you couldn't show. Yeah. I fly Tiger quite a lot and, you know, there are a lot of people who are really down on it and say they'll never fly it again. I've never had an issue on a Tiger flight, whereas when I fly Qantas or any other airline, that's when stuff goes wrong.

But I always get excited when Airways is in production, because when you go to the Tiger terminal in Melbourne, there'll be signs everywhere saying, we might be filming for this show. Please let someone know if you don't want to be on camera. I always get excited. And then that's when I pray that something's going to go wrong. Yeah, yeah, because you want to see it. And they're going to bust the cameras out. And I go, I'm just going to arc up.

I'm just going to go crazy so I can get on the telly. I do wonder, too, with some of the ones that we've put to air, whether those people, I have a theory that because there's a camera filming them, they think they must be in the right. Yeah. So they go in harder, even though they're just making idiots out of themselves. I think they think, oh, they're filming me,

so they must think that I've got a case. They go, no, we're filming you because you make a dick of yourself. Let's do that when we go to Sydney in a couple of weeks. We'll just arc up, make absolute arseholes of ourselves, and then at the end just go, hi, Corinne, and wave at the cameras. Because she'll be seeing us once we... But there's no camera crew around. There actually has to be a camera crew.

There's just a Japanese guy with a chuckle-weight camera. Hi, Corinne. Because it's all in the can at the moment. There's no filming actually going on at this point in time. But please, feel free to do it anyway. The other thing about you, you did a festival show and a book about hoarding. Yeah. Does that, because that's a pretty, you know, if you've ever seen episodes of like hoarders

or anything like that, that's a pretty intense kind of thing that people get into. Do you get a lot of people kind of, you know, I guess coming to you for support or like telling you their stories that's kind of full on? Yeah, it's really weird because when I say hoarder, I mean hoarder like it used to be before this show came out and everyone's decided that it's about people with really severe psychological illnesses. Because I grew up, the word hoarder was what everybody called themselves. Oh, my cupboards are full and I've got crap under the bed and blah, blah, blah.

I'm a bit of a hoarder. And then I wrote the book and all of a sudden I was Corinne Graham with psychological problems. I didn't have one of those houses you had to tunnel through. There were no rats or anything. I just had too much shit. If you're on the show instead of that, because you see that show and it's just you can't move in the house,

but they'll send that crew into your house and it's like, okay, well, she hasn't emptied her recycling bin. All right, well, let's get rid of that. I can't watch that show because you see the ads for it and it always looks a bit quirky. It's like you think it's going to be, look, our bloody many mad magazines this guy has. And then you start watching it and it's people who've like got jars of their own piss in

the fridge and stuff. I love it. I love it. No, it's too intense. I find it really immoral. I think it's immoral because these people do have proper psychological problems and they're making entertainment out of them instead of helping them with their problems. Oh, and then also you're putting them on a TV show, giving them a copy of the tape of

the episode. That's just one more thing they're going to be hanging on to. That's true. That's true. All the clippings of the TV guy that lists their episode. God, what a nightmare. The funniest thing was when I wrote that book, when you're a stand-up and you say something funny on stage,

you have control of the delivery and no one can ever argue back and say that wasn't a joke, you meant that seriously because you've got control of it. In a book, you write and say that wasn't a joke, you meant that seriously because you've got control of it. In a book, you write something that is very clearly a joke, but if a journalist or a reviewer wants to take that out of context, then they very easily can. Because you got – Corinne Grant's hoarding got so bad she was sleeping on rotting food.

No, that would be one line where I said I rolled over onto a sandwich or something that used to be a sandwich. That's just a joke. That's just a joke. It's just a joke. Because didn't you get – you got stitched up by – was it a current affair or Today Tonight or one of those things? Today Tonight. Yeah.

And now you don't fly with Today Tonight anymore? I do not fly with Today Tonight ever. If they ever have an airline – and look, pretty much anyone could buy Qantas at the moment. Qantas shares are worth negative two cents, I think. Next time you have a landlord from hell, you are going to a current affair. You are not going to today tonight. Seriously, yeah.

Neither of those shows ever stitch up anybody. Just ask that poor bloody ex-escort. Oh, my God. That's amazing at the moment, isn't it? Both of them going each other over the morality. $60,000. Couldn't she have afforded a better wig? And just to sum this up, what's the story?

A politician charged money for a prostitute onto his expense account. Allegedly. Allegedly. He's claiming that he didn't, that he's been stitched up and blah, blah, blah. There's been money on a credit card that belonged to a union that has escorts being paid for on it. He says it wasn't him. She came out and said, I definitely slept with him. Then she checked her passport and went, oh, I was in New Zealand.

Unless he's got a 400-kilometre-long dick, I probably didn't sleep with him. Which, you know, this is still under investigation. We don't know that he doesn't have a 4-kilometre-long dick. And there were other expenses charged to that account for penileextensions.com. Backslash the internet. So then it got confusing and I'm not 100% sure on how it ran

because then it's just turned into a whole lot of she said, she said, he said, he said. But one television network is saying, no, she told us that it definitely happened. The other one's saying, no, she got stitched up. And then both of the stations are going, but you said this and you said that. And that's when I've gone, oh, mummy wants to lie down now. That's exactly what she said as well.

That's the end of the podcast, everyone. We're taking this thing off the air, deleting all the old episodes. We have to stop this. People have broken into the studio and are cheering us out. So we can't talk anymore. No. So what you mentioned, though, is that, you know, she's been on the current affair programs recently with the wig on.

Yes. The prostitute to disguise herself clearly. But what I find very funny about that is that so she's got like, what, she got like an outfit on. It's just really a wig and that's the whole disguise. Yes. So all that's done. I reckon the glasses might be a disguise as well.

Oh, that's right. Yeah. I don't know whether she's still working as a sex worker. I'm thinking that's maybe why she's disguising herself. Well, then she could probably be wearing that while she's sex working anyway. Yes, could be. People probably will request that wig. Yeah.

Yeah, you would. If she is still working as an escort, I'm not 100% sure that she is. Would you like me normal or current affair style? Yeah. I want to go in there and play a bit of Tracy Grimshaw. I want to knock down your door and you can put your hand over your face while we're at it if you want. Bang, that is a niche market, isn't it? Yeah.

You can be the dodgy plumber and I'll be. Yeah. We're going to do it and then we're going to talk about boat people. Yeah. Dodgy immigrants, yeah I find it funny that she's got the wig on, she's got the glasses on So that doesn't really, like she's not a celebrity She's not already known for what hair colour she has or whatever I think people that know her, that hasn't put them off her at all, you know what I mean?

Although if she was still working as an escort, I would be worried that she's not discreet. Yeah. That she might, yeah. She's no Twitter ghostwriter, that's for sure. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I would be worried that she might, if you were Joe Bloggs off the street, you're probably going to be all right.

But if you had a profile, you wouldn't go to her for her services in case she then decides I think if you didn't have a profile, you would definitely go to her and go, so how do I stack up? Yeah, yeah. And next door to old mate MP. Yeah, yeah. Does anyone really want to know if they're doing it better than an MP? I've just assumed everybody does it better than an MP.

Is that just me? But, you know, we'll take what we can get. That's a great confidence builder. Dirty politician sex. But, you know, we'll take what we can get. That's a great confidence builder. Dirty politician sex. But, you know, I like that. No one wants a realistic answer on their sexual prowess.

I mean, we need to sell tickets for the show in Sydney. Maybe we should go and, you know, pop in there this week. Yeah. Raise our profile a little bit.

Yeah, and end up on Current Affair. Yeah, podcasting. Obviously not today, tonight after the bad rap we've got from them in here. Oh, yeah. I mean, we're showing solidarity with Korean.

I don't trust them at all. Yeah, we'll never go anywhere near them, that's for sure. Yeah, we'll fly tiger. We'll go with current affair. You're creating powerful enemies. Now, okay, we're talking about journalism. I want to bring this up. This is something that came to my attention.

Are we? I thought we were talking about today, tonight. Oh, yay! Those guys have come in here again. Put us down, guys. Put us down. A friend of mine, my friend Pat, who you met the other night, he came to the gig at Softbelly, a good friend of mine,

studying journalism at university at the moment, and he told me on Thursday, he said, oh, I had to do an assignment where I had to interview people about sort of what they do and come up with a story. That sounds very clear. No And I couldn't be- That sounds very clear. Yeah. No, I don't know the exact terms of the assignment.

No, I think that's it. He's going to make an excellent journalist. You have to write something. Anyway, he had all these things that he had to do to the assignment and he couldn't be bothered doing them. So he wrote an assignment about me and just made the whole thing up and pretended that he'd talk to me and to, like, my mate. And again, today's the night I've signed him up already. Anyway, he's emailed me the assignment and there's a couple of –

it's a very weird thing to read a thing about yourself that is – it's kind of rooted in fact, but it's mostly just made up. Like, he's just made up things that I've said. So basically the story is about me, the fact that I do stand up and that I was sick as a kid. So headline, laughter really is the best medicine for young Melbourne comics. Classic.

How old is this guy? He is 25. Oh, no, he should know better. He can't even interview somebody when he's 25. Let me see. Tom Alsop, or Tommy Dasolo as he's 25. Let me see. Tom Alsop, or Tommy Dasolo as he's known to his fans, has a lot to smile about. A burgeoning comedy career, upcoming international tours,

and an immensely successful podcast that has grabbed the attention of audiences both locally and overseas. He is one of the young movers and shakers of the comedy scene, described by The Age as a definite one to watch. And they don't give those out freely, those. Well, actually, they do. I'm really, I always like the idea of a mover and shaker. I think that means you have to be dressed in a little skirt,

like a 1920s flapper. Yeah. Wearing something that shimmies when you move. Maybe with a hula hoop around your waist. Yes. And I do have all of them quite regularly. Looking at his list of accomplishments, shining eyes and infectious smile,

it is hard to imagine that... Shining eyes? Have you got myxometosis? It is hard to imagine that 17 years ago he was in hospital, hooked up to a myriad of machines and drips, barely hanging on to life with a malicious cancer eating away at his bone marrow. Wow, what happened in the end? He goes in pretty heavy-handed early on.

Growing up in leafy mauve in Dassault's childhood was a bizarre mix of the traditional and the quirky. His mother the headmistress of a prestigious girls' school. That's completely made up. Well, that is bizarre. Why would you make that up? His father an eccentric architect responsible for the Melbourne Zoo's

flamboyant butterfly house. Is that true? That's kind of true, yeah. I guess it's eccentric if it didn't start off as a butterfly house. It was supposed to be a block of flats and all of a sudden it's a glass house with butterflies in there. It's a butterfly house, but there's a giraffe in there. This mix of tradition and manners with creative flair has had continuing effects on his comedy, which never strays into the malicious or grotesque,

as many other comedians often do. Oh, I hate those guys. They have to swear? Yeah, he's bloody having a go at Gary Chook there is what he's doing. I'm not sure if it's my upbringing, he says, but I've never felt a real need to be particularly rude to be funny. I'm not against it or anything. Some of my favourite comedians would probably give my mother a heart attack

if she heard them. It's just not something that feels natural to me. That is the one thing that's true out of the whole. That's a direct quote from you, isn't it? I do say that all the time. At least that's my catchphrase. I say that at least once a week on this show. That's what's on the T-shirt.

If you want to buy the Dumb Dumb Club T-shirt, that's that quote. I'll go straight. There's a lot in here. There's just one that I particularly enjoy, a quote that's attributed to my- Am I in there? I should be in there. You should have, yeah. He should have not asked me for a quote that's attributed to my... Am I in there? I should be in there. You should have, yeah. He should have not asked me for a quote, definitely.

It's a real oversight that he... I hope his lecturer doesn't listen to this podcast. Fuck, where is it? One of Dasolo's close childhood friends, Peter Baradus, recalls going to visit him in the hospital, expecting to leave bawling his eyes out. I ended up walking out of his room laughing so much that the nurses thought I was crazy.

Tom's just that sort of a guy. Even in the darkest hour, he managed to bring the laughs and make us both forget that we were in a hospital room and there was a good chance he was going to die. Matt, so he liked you better when you had cancer. Yeah, it sounds like it, yeah. Bloody hell. It was a very weird thing to read a thing about that about yourself. It was sort of the closest I'll ever come to being in the big brother house and then

leaving and seeing, you know, a montage of things that I've done that I've forgotten about. Do you know what I mean? It's the closest you'll ever get to being on Today Tonight with all this made up stuff about you. Yeah, it was pretty great. Anyway, I think you got a good mark for it. The funny thing is, though, he got a quote from someone from a hospital,

like an actual doctor that his dad knows. So that bit is fact. Like he's interviewed a doctor about whatever, about people overcoming illness. But he couldn't interview you. That's exactly it, yeah. It was easier for him to get onto a doctor and fit that into his schedule than to just call me up one afternoon and get the actual facts from me.

Or just copy and paste from your website and get, you know, some things that actually happened to you. Yeah. Anyway. We've been talking about a little bit of news sort of stuff and social media and whatever. Here's something that happened to me last week. I did a very, very silly joke on Twitter. I don't think it even particularly made sense, but, you know, I just put it out there and

the joke was something like, I can't believe that gay people in New York still can't get married to large cups of soft drink, something like that. And the joke, and you guys are looking at me going, awesome work, Carl. Very funny. But, you know, it was just supposed to be a very stupid joke. You know how they banned huge cups of Coke or whatever in New York. Oh, right. Very, very, yeah, see, very funny.

Very silly reference. Anyway, Bob Catter's brother, for some reason, replied to me. Oh, wow. Bob Catter is an MP in Australia who is- He's the mental one. He's the mental one. Yeah, who was on The Circle the other day. And he's the one who did that homophobic ad for his party up in Queensland

and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah. And his brother is gay. And so he... His brother's not a giant tub of soft drink? No. Okay. But his brother took offence to that.

Oh, really? Yeah, and sent me a sternly worded thing saying, it's not very funny to be joking about people's rights and whatever. I think that's very serious. And I'm like, are you for real? He's like, yes, you shouldn't be joking about people's rights. I went, it's a fucking joke about soft drink, dude. Yeah.

Still not funny. And I replied and said, if I was you, I'd be worrying less about soft drink jokes and more about maybe spreading and preaching the word to maybe some of your family. soft drink jokes and more about maybe spreading and preaching the word to maybe some of your family. The very next day was when Bob Ketter went on The Circle on TV and that whole furore erupted over him refusing to answer questions about gay marriage and bloody whatever. Wow. It's a really fraught one though, isn't it? Marriage equality, and you have to call it marriage equality, you can't call it gay marriage

I discovered. Really? Yeah. I tweeted a link to a poll and said, do you support gay marriage? Jump on here. And I just got attacked by people saying, how dare you call it gay marriage?

Wow. Okay. I was just trying to help. How dare you? That's heavy handed. I do now know it's called marriage equality or same-sex marriage, and I'm across that now. We've got to be completely politically correct if you're going to try and be on the side of somebody.

But it is weird that it's sort of that you can't say – when people latch onto an idea, if you say anything and use any of the words that's in that idea, you're immediately going to be associated with it. So you make a joke about soft drink, but you say gay people, and all of a sudden that means you're actually talking about something opposite to what you thought you were. Yeah. And then you get – but if you'd said that on stage, it would have been completely different. Yeah, I mean, it would have got just as many laughs.

I just wish – it would have been great if Bob Catter's brother had gone on you and the CEO of Pepsi had also gone on you. Yeah, yeah. You just – you can't please anyone. Yeah. Now, what I like to do when we have someone come on the show is I like to look up their IMDB page just to see what, you know, the whole, your whole canon of work and stuff like that. Is there the whole canon of work, though, or is it just whatever anyone's put on there? It's what Tony Martin's decided that you've done.

Yeah. Oh, right. Is that who does it? Well, that's what we have half figured out. I don't think, maybe he doesn't do it anymore is what he answered us, but he was working for him. But it isn't, yeah, no, it isn't, it doesn't have the whole canon of work what you've got on your own website.

I noticed that. You've got- No, and you can't do anything with your IMDB. IMDB is a bit of a furphy because you actually have to join IMDB to be able to do anything with your own CV. Right. So it's a little bit of a scam. Yeah, right.

That's how they make their money. Yeah, I guess so. So that's where all... So I'm sure, you know, if you're Tom Cruise or something, you have a publicist doing it for you. If you mean... So even Tom Cruise is still going to pay, you reckon? I don't know.

Tom Cruise's publicist would take care of it. I doubt that Tom Cruise is going, can you update my IMDb? I'm while you're at it. I just checked my Wikipedia page. I don't want a photo. I just checked IMDb and I noticed you still haven't put Top Gun on there. What I like about IMDb is there's a whole, it's always a bit weird. It's not quite right, I don't think.

And especially the bit, what's it called? No, it's never quite right. There's always like a did you know, did you know part on there. And it's like, I'm like, oh, cool. There'll be like a, you know, an out there trivial pursuit question or whatever. And I was like, because I remember looking up Jeff Stilson, who's been on the show before. And it was like, did you know Jeff Stilson is an American standup comedian? Like, yeah, that's why he's on IMDB.

That's why I'm looking on the page. I didn't think he was a plumber. So your one is, did you know her nickname is Rennie? That's why he's on IMDB. That's why I'm looking on the page. I didn't think he was a plumber. So your one is, did you know her nickname is Rennie? So there you go. Wow. Did you know that? It's one of them, yeah.

But that's, yeah, I mean, that's not even, that's just. That's your money paying for that there. I'm not. I haven't freaking paid for IMDB. You put that on there. You paid to put that on there. That's why you've got to take IMDb with a grain of salt because there's a lot of people like me who just go, oh, you have to pay to actually update your site and actually get your own CV onto it.

Right. Oh, forget that. Oh, so the people with full on updated records there, the suck ups are the ones that are desperate that are paying? Well, they're using it, I guess, if you're at a certain point, but I just don't think it's particularly worthwhile at all. In that respect, it's not a useful tool to use if you're researching somebody's career because you're not –

I mean, it's about as useful as Wikipedia. It's only as useful as the people who are members of it are putting stuff on there. Right. So – Well, I like that there's – and you can comment on people's pages as well. Like for some reason you can get on there and people have made comments about you on your one.

Oh, really? Yeah. Nothing bad. Not that I read. Corinne just looked at me and gave me this look that said, God, please make this stop. Yeah. Here's a very funny piece. I love you, Corinne Grant.

No. Yeah. Because it would normally be funny. But there was something positive that was written on there. I think there was something about – Could you say that like it's a surprise? I found something positive about you on the internet, Corinne. It is the internet. It is the internet.

I know. That is true. Yeah. So someone put something positive on there. And then you can sort of look at what their bio is, what the user profile of the person is. Now, to start with, the person's name is Moist Me. Future husband. Future husband.

Moist Me. Or future wife in another country apart from Australia. Moist Me. Oh, don't say that on Twitter or you'll be a furor. Now, their bio, Moist Me's bio is, I'm such a huge TV fan and I love celebrities who are on them. I love celebrities who are on them, on TV. On them TVs.

On them TVs. I have lots of respect for celebrities when have some sort of constant work. Oh, I like that. When they're out of work, they are shit. Well, that's what's coming. That's what's going. I understand if they take some time off, but if they don't get anything for a couple of years, then I have to say I lose respect.

This is a good point. This is a very good point. I have done the same thing with bank tellers. You're unemployed for a year. You are shit. I don't deal with them if they're not working for a bank. I'm just wondering how you moist someone. Do you leave them out overnight so they get covered in dew?

But is the name a request or is it a description? Moist me. Is it like, I am moist, or is it like, please moist me? Please moist me. Is it like, supersize me? Yeah. I took it in that way. I took it as, I am moist.

Moist me. Moist me. Well, maybe there's a clue in the last line of their bio, because that's not it. There's one line left to go. So I'll just repeat the last line. I am moist. Yeah. Spoiler alert. I am moist. Yeah. Spoiler alert.

I am moist. So I understand that they take some time off, but if they don't get anything for a couple of years and I have to say, I lose respect, dot, dot, dot, space, Yasmin, please. Oh, my gosh. I'm always fascinated by little things in sentences. I have to say, sorry, guys, I'm just going to put this out there. Deal with this if you will. Yeah, I know you're all reading my user profile at the moment,

but I think this is my time to say what I really think. Poor Yasmin, please. Yeah. I'm mad on that bank teller thing too. When performers haven't had any public work in a couple of years, they're called has-beens. And again, you don't say that about a bank teller who hasn't had a job as a bank teller for a couple of years, has-been, then they get a new job, oh, come back!

And that's the other thing about people that may have had a lot of TV work and have a year off or whatever, they're still going and doing corporate gigs and raking in probably much more than what you're getting on TV anyway. Well, that's the thing, television doesn't earn you all that much money. It's all the other stuff. I had the most funny one on an aeroplane the other day. Which airline? I don't think it was Qantas.

I think it was – no, it wasn't. It was Virgin. And the woman said, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, yeah, I think you're great. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What are you doing at the moment? I said, oh, I'm doing this and I'm doing that. She goes, oh, that's good.

And you're still recognisable. Oh, jeez. The creepy thing was I was sitting opposite John Waters and I'm doing that. And she goes, oh, that's good. And you're still recognisable. The creepy thing was I was sitting opposite John Waters and I thought, and you didn't recognise him at all. What the fuck is going on in this world? She probably meant to say, if another season of Airlines, no, Airways doesn't come up soon. Airlines. Yeah.

She probably thought I was Sigrid Thornton. Yeah. But I just thought that was hilarious. But it does, it goes back to that thing. If you're not on television all the time, people think you're not working. Yeah. Which is like you know.

Which is exactly what my mother thinks about me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's never seen me on TV, so I've never worked. So you therefore cannot be working. Yeah, yeah. It's a really weird one, isn't it? It's an odd industry. And also this idea that television is what everybody aspires to as well, which in most

cases, I think it's a means to an end. You do it so that you can get the other work. cases, I think it's a means to an end. You do it so that you can get the other work. You don't do it as a means to an end. The thing I like about Moist Me is that where she's saying, you know, I assume she. I don't know why I assume she. Yeah, well, I would assume she as well. I don't know why, but the Yasmin Bleeth to me went.

You have to remind me, was Yasmin Bleeth in 90210? She was in Baywatch. Oh, Baywatch. Okay. And Yasmin's getting married? Was that? No. Oh.

Bloody idiot. That is a blast from the past. Yeah, what a callback, eh? Yeah. Man, you suck me in with that one. It sounds like the set up for a Today Tonight show, you know? People off the TV, not acting anymore, not having any work. Where do they get off?

Yeah, yeah. Just bludgeoning, bludgeoning on their profile. We're paying for them in that we're paying ANZ interest rates and then they're hiring them for $1,700,000 to do their corporate gigs and we're paying for them, living off our dollar. You could find a way if you wanted to, to hate on people like that, couldn't you? That's awesome. But I did want it to sort of not be connected.

I just like the idea of more of that all sort of ended and then just new topic. Yasmin Bleith. I think she was blaming Yasmin Bleith for not being in work. Yeah. That's a bit sad. But that's a weird thing to be, you know, when they take a couple years off. I'm sure that's got back to Yasmin as well. Yeah.

Well, yeah, that's like. Or at least to her agent, hopefully. Her Twitter ghostwriter. Who's made phone calls and gone, shit, moist me is not a stick. Yasmin's not working. Quick, do something. Moist her. That's saying, you know, I lose respect for people if they don't work for a couple of

years. And then to cite Yasmin Blythe as the example. That's more than a couple of years. And then to cite Yasmin Bleeth as the example, that's more than a couple of years. Like, what was the last thing Yasmin Bleeth was in? Yeah, but those people, like, you know, there's so many channels and whatever over there that, you know, we only know her from Baywatch. There's a fairly good chance that she's working consistently. We just don't know about her.

I think she'd have to because I remember the last thing I heard about her, she had a massive cocaine addiction. So you'd have to be in some regular work to keep that up. I suppose so, yeah. Yeah. But I have more of a concern with having respect for celebrities. Having respect for somebody who does something more than acts. I like the idea that she's losing respect if she's not working on shows like Baywatch.

Shouldn't it be the other way around? Yeah, I watched that. That was on the other day. Hillary Clinton, she's never been on a television show. She is shit. Yeah, an episode of Baywatch was on the other day on digital. That was a little bit before my time, so I never watched it growing up or anything. And, man, it is like trying to make drama out of that show where it's like, oh, a guy's

in the water and he's gone out a little bit too deep. Well, we'd better go get him. It's like, how is this a show for this long? Ten years. Ten years. You are really, really missing the point of that show. Yeah. No one ever took any notice of the narrative in that show.

It was just a lot of slow motion shots of boobs. I'll tell you what, it's not at a bad time for the unemployed or self-employed comedian because it's on at like one in the afternoon and it's like, well, there's nothing much else to do at the moment. That's like morning TV. Yeah. I get the feeling that you could recite the Channel Go schedule from 11 to 4 in the afternoon off the top of your head right now. There's a bit of that going on.

I've had a bit of a take, taken a break from the digital TV stations at the moment, but I was a little bit addicted there for a while. You'd go Love Boat through to JAG, then through to MacGyver. Then you had your options of, I think, Baywatch. The big double of Baywatch, then VIP. Yes. Hamlet's spin-off show. See, none of that stuff interests me because it's all like that little bit too much before my time.

Like, oh, there's no nostalgia in it. It's just TV that's a bit old and shit. Yes, and VIP really was a bit shit. I got addicted to the late night. I think I was on go. The late night lineup of Roseanne and Cheers and Frasier. Yes, because that's all during the day as well because I got addicted to that.

I'd sometimes double up and watch them twice. But Cheers, I got addicted to Cheers. Cheers is so good. Cheers, I went through a massive phase of when I was in my early 20s. Roseanne, kind of for some reason, I didn't really get into Roseanne the first time around. So I'm watching it now going, oh my God, this show was awesome. I would like our show to be. Before she had the plastic surgery and she really didn't look like a working class mother.

Completely fucked the whole premise of the show. What I'm fascinated by is the later years of Roseanne. I want our show to be like that, to be all gritty and real and really us at the start, but then by the end just be this bizarre, too successful, bloated version of the little Dun Dun Club where we've got plastic surgery and then there's dream sequences in there and whole seasons are just made up. I don't know. I kind of feel like that's already happened.

A whole lot of complaining about the maitre d' not decanting your Beaujolais correctly. I just want to know when are they going to put dinosaurs on digital TV? Is that after you're on? Yeah, it's a bit over that. But do you remember it? No, I don't. I sound probably too old for it. It was on in, I'm pretty sure it was on in primetime when it first came on. It was like a Jim Henson. It was about dinosaurs.

Yeah, it was like The Simpsons, but they were big, life-size puppets. It was a little wise-talking baby. But it was weird because it was like a family drama sitcom show, except they were dinosaurs. But it was basically a cartoon. But yeah, it was a bit The Simpsons in that it was like the dad always... It came out after The Simpsons. Just after.

So it was riding on its back. Was it as good as Muppet Babies? Oh, big call. I really liked Muppet Babies. I was pretty into Muppet Babies. It was no Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. No. Which should be on somewhere.

I loved Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Yeah. Because I was terribly ironic when I was 15. I was totes ironic. Do you still go and play the game out at Tullamarine? Oh, my God. The video games. The video games.

The Ninja Turtles. Oh, it's still there. What, what, what, what? The arcade game is still there. Oh, my God. I've been missing out. The Ninja Turtles were like, because there's, you know, often stuff that's licensed from TV shows or movies or whatever,

the video games are generally quite shit. Yeah. There are exceptions. The Ninja Turtles, like in the 90s, they had this mad game developer who still make really good games, who made all the Ninja Turtles games that were just great. Oh, there you go. Really great.

When we were just talking about those corporate gigs before, it just reminded me of something that I thought about today. I don't think I've talked about this on the show before, but I found this very funny. I used to work for, should I say this? I used to work for the AFL. You've wondered several times this episode whether you should say things. Yeah, I know.

I'm very thoughtful. The start of that sentence. I found this funny. Should I say this on a comedy podcast, this funny thing? I'm always wondering how much detail to give, though, I guess. Yeah. podcast and this funny thing. I'm always wondering how much detail to give though, I guess. Yeah.

So I, we had a Christmas party at my work and what happened was there was an ex-journalist that didn't work for us that wanted to come along that I think had been there like, had been into our office like maybe once or twice. Ex-journalist. So not a journalist anymore, changed career. I think it may be retired. Oh, yeah, right. Okay.

I may not have all the facts right, but I'm pretty sure that's how it worked. It retired from the job. It worked for a very major newspaper. And like a footy, a sports journalist? Yes. Yep. Yes, yes. Worked for a very major newspaper.

So it wasn't Nui Takoa? It wasn't. No. Anyway, we had to get a bus that was out in Werribee, so it's quite a bit out of Melbourne, where we were having this party. And this guy had paid, this old journo had paid to come along with us to our Christmas party, had gone, I want to come along with all these people that I don't know, I'll chuck in money to get along with the party that you guys are all going for free for. And he came along, and I remember him sitting behind me in the bus, this shuttle

bus that we took out there. And he was talking about, yeah, I'll do this and I'll do that. Subconsciously, I'm like, I don't really know what that means, but I don't know what he's talking about. It doesn't matter. We got out there. We had a big boozy lunch. We'd been drinking for hours and hours. Then we'd'd done some speeches and then the boss goes anyway we've got a special guest today um uh let's call him john citizen uh he wants to come up and perform for you guys and says and then he goes anyway he'll uh welcome to the stage dame edna everidge and then this old journo walked into the middle of us, put on Dame Edna Everidge glasses.

Oh, what? In front of 60, 70 work people. And they went, hello, possums. Oh, what? And we'd been, average age is probably 25, 27, whatever there. We started losing our mind at this 60-year-old plus guy pretending to be Dame Edna. And then his opening line was, he's opening line. Oh, my God.

I'm like cringing with embarrassment. This is, oh, no. Caringe Grant. Did you know Caringe Grant? That crowd's come back in. And then his opening line, his opening joke to all of us was, and we're doing this. Oh, stop it.

I'm feeling sick. His opening line was, hello, possums. Why is it that they can put a man on the moon, but they can't put a man on Martina Navarro over? What? What? With a sweet, massively outdated gay joke. What? He couldn't have massively outdated gay joke. What?

He couldn't have even changed it up for like. But he couldn't even get a gay joke right. Who actually puts a man on? He couldn't have changed it to Emily Marismo or anyone else. He was like, my team didn't have Red Bull overplayed tennis in 1983 or something. And it was like, and I wish that the room had been like Tommy now and hysterical. But the room was like you. It was like me.

It was like you. People's organs were eating themselves. I'm crying. So he paid to come along. Yeah, and paid to perform for us. Was he thinking this was the start of his career? Oh, God. I think he'd done it before and gone, oh, this went well.

Oh, it makes me want to cry. I like the idea that that's... This went well at the East Burwood Footy Club in 82, so I'll just... I like that he thinks that that's what a corporate gig is. It's like, hey, I got a sweet corporate gig on the weekend. Oh, yeah, how much? Like $2,000? Yeah.

You're getting paid $2,000. No, no, no, I'm paying. That's what it is, isn't it? I'm getting a free shuttle bus, though. But Bruce McIverney still gets work. That's the bit I don't understand. And what happened was he did that, and then people just went absolutely silent for a minute to two minutes.

I'm guessing. You know what? I'm guessing it's a minute to two minutes because time slowed down, and it felt like an hour. So some kind of midlife crisis or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But a really old one. Yeah, yeah, a really old one.

Unless he's going to live to be 150, I think. But he then – in my head, there's like one of those big, long crooks that has come out and grabbed him by the neck and shoved him off stage. But I'm pretty sure that didn't happen. So he finished up. We all. How long? It felt like, I think it was like a minute, two minutes.

Because like they had to literally. But it felt like 10. Yeah, literally the boss had to stop him and do it. Oh, no, no. Yeah. So then we were in a basement doing this. And then we all had to sort of like go upstairs for the rest of the the dinner or the you know drinks and whatever so it was just like you know when you hope something crazy happens at your christmas party so you've got something to talk about for the rest of the

year yeah that was it so we all went upstairs and we've all had you know two three hours worth of drinking insiders so all you could actually hear as one like 60 people just go oh my god how bad was that that That was amazing. Oh my God. And this is like, it was still only like three o'clock at this stage in the afternoon. But he's there, isn't he? He's still there. So then he stood at the outer of all the rest of us and just sort of stood there, looked

white faced. And then someone, no one spoke to him for like 10 minutes and then someone went up and went, oh yeah, so what's happening? Do you want a beer? And he went, no, I've called a cab and I've got an interview to do. And they went, oh yeah, no worries. What time's the interview? And he went, uh, 7.30.

I don't think you need to call a cab for an interview when it's three o'clock at the moment. And it's in Werribee. So that's like, how far out is that? 45 minutes? Yeah, that's an expensive cab. That is an expensive cab. Very expensive cab. Very expensive cab. Oh, my God.

What was he thinking? I'm intrigued by that. You know what hurts me? But you know what else? It wasn't like, oh, I'll just hop up and do this. He had the day med and the glasses in his pocket. Yeah. He planned a routine.

Yeah. You know what hurts me about that story a little bit is I can kind of picture my dad being that guy in his office because my dad's a bit older than the people that he works with. And every now and then I'll go into his office just to print something off or see him or whatever. And, you know, dad's always like wearing a bow tie and he does all these like zany little things around the office. And, you know, I just, when I meet people that he works with, they're like, oh, you're David's son, eh? And dad, like just dad's little interactions with them. I'm like, oh, dad's the goofy old dude at work. Oh, no.

And having worked there, like at the time I was doing comedy, but I was still working. So just for the rest of you, not only did his name get brought up, everyone, the connection was straight to me. So I was like, oh, here he is, the bloke who's not as good as Dame Edna, eh? You're not as good as that bloke, were you? God, that is a horrendous story. I'm a tree. Wouldn't you, if you were, like, you wouldn't go into your world. If you're a sports journalist, you wouldn't go into the sports world to give that a crack. You'd go into a world that knows nothing about you.

Like, you'd go do it at a catering company's Christmas party or something where no one knows you. I'd go to the next world. I'd go to the next world. We'll leave it to you, dude. Go to another realm. Do you remember his name? Do you ever look him up and check in on what he's doing? I know exactly who he is.

Oh, so he's actually a known person? When we press stop, Carl is going to tell us. Okay, absolutely. Yes, yes. All right, possums. Well, that brings us to the end of the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Corinne Grant, thank you so much for joining us. You're welcome.

Have you got anything coming up you'd like to plug? Gigs at Carl's room. Oh, yes. Sweet. When's that? In August. Yeah, August. Soft belly. Yeah, soft belly. I'm doing softsruhe. Oh, yeah. Sweet. When's that? In August. Yeah, August. Softbelly.

Yeah, Softbelly. I'm doing Softbelly in August. Cool. And you're on Twitter? I'm fully on Twitter. You're Corinne Grant. It's an underscore? Yeah, it's Corinne underscore Grant.

Who's the non-underscore? Corinne Grant? That was a pretendie. No, that was a pretendie Corinne Grant, which I think we got rid of. Oh, was there a squatter yeah yeah at moist Corinne yeah yeah

it's at moist me guys thank you so much for listening we are doing our live show Sydney July 8th comedystore.com.au for tickets

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