The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 94 - Live! Andrew Denton, Larry Emdur, Scott Dooley, Wil Anderson, Luke McGregor.

Episode Date: July 9, 2012

Recorded LIVE at the Sydney Comedy Store, July 8th, 2012. Voice-over Auditions, Interview Techniques and SWAT Teams. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The following podcast contains adult themes, hardcore nudity, and gratuitous Luke McGregor. If you are offended by references to the town of Maryborough, delayed marriage proposals, and little men that sound like lesbians, we suggest you leave now and head to your favorite 24-hour bakery. SBS recommends viewing by immature audiences please welcome to the stage australia's sweethearts tommy pipsqueak dasilo and carl definitely not engaged chandler sydney comedy store thank you very much for coming out to Live Little Dum Dum Club. Hey, mate! Thank you very much for joining us, whether you are here with us live at the Sydney Comedy Store or listening at home.

My name is Tommy Dasolo. Standing next to me, the other half of the show, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickheads. That's the thing I normally say, hey? References. There's someone in the back there wearing a Hey Mate t-shirt. That's the thing I normally say, hey? References. There's someone in the back there wearing a Haymate T-shirt. That's thrilling. Sweet. One person knows who we are. Yeah. This is cool.

This is a nice little turnout. I mean, this is the first time we've done one of these shows outside of Melbourne. This is a big moment for us. Very excited. We've been doing gigs in this venue all week and handing out flyers and trying to get people onto the shows. And then we got here and we realised that they'd packed up the chairs for half of the room.

So the comedy store had very little confidence in our pulling ability. You guys have been eating shit all week. No one's going to come see this garbage. They did ask for ID on the way in tonight as well. So, yeah. No, we're very excited to be in Sydney this week. It's been swell. It's been a good bit of business.

We did gigs all week here and we're doing tonight. This is great. Tom, you know, we talk a lot on the show about going for auditions and stuff like that. Tommy, you've asked to do an audition this week which is good. Yeah. Right before we headed up here I got a call from a casting agent

to do a voiceover which I was very excited about because obviously, you know... There's a lot of talk about Tommy's voice on this show. You've got a very distinctive voice. You guys can all hear how good and rich this is. I mean, any product I say right now, you're all going to run out and get it, obviously. So that's great. Yeah.

That's a great thing to be approached by someone. So congratulations, Tommy. Thank you. Thank you. Now, obviously in auditions there, there are other people that are up for the gig. Now, obviously in auditions there are other people that are up for the gig. Did you happen to find out who people thought was comparable to your voice? Yeah, well, this is what the woman said to me on the phone.

She said, come in on Wednesday afternoon. It's going to be you and we're also auditioning a group of school children. Right. And you know what makes this even sadder? She then called me back the next day to go, oh, yeah, don't worry about coming in, we're not going to do that audition anymore. So school holidays was ruined for me, I'll tell you that much.

Wow. I really regret telling you that now. I was going to say, how did you get that? But I'm about 20 years too late to get any of those. Yeah. I mean, I kind of was really upset that it didn't happen. Like, in my head it was going to be just me and then a group of school children. It was literally going to be just that set up, which would have been amazing. Like, I don't know whether, because she said she found my stuff on YouTube

and I haven't put stuff on there for a while. So maybe she thought I actually was a school kid and then maybe she did a bit more digging and found out that I'm not. So that's why she called it off. Yeah, right. I don't know. So you didn't get it? I didn't even do it. I didn't even audition for it. I'm not even up for it. But if anyone has voiceover work for me, I'm struggling at the moment and I am available. Is there any voice agents within the 53 people that are here tonight? Yes. a massive chance of that happening. Yeah. So what have you been doing in Sydney?

Because we've been here for three days now. I've been doing nothing. I've been quietly shitting myself that we're going to talk to these people that are backstage at the moment, that we've rammed in a room about that big. And that is a sweet reference for anyone listening at home right at the moment. That big. And that is a sweet reference for anyone listening at home right at the moment. That big. We'll need to put a special thing on the net of visual references.

Carl held his hands wide open about one foot. Okay. I can hear the home viewers laughing right now. Home viewers. Again. You are killing this medium, Chandler. Have you done one of these before? Well, let's talk about this

I mean, we have Mailbag on the show every now and then Now, I don't know I mean, this happened on the show pretty recently I don't know how many people have heard it Round of applause Have you heard our latest episode with Dan Illick? Do people hear that? Okay, most people heard that

Dan Illick did the voiceover just before No one cares Clang If anyone's got voiceover work for Dan Illick He the voice over just before. No one cares. Clang. If anyone's got voiceover work for Dan Illick, he will be unemployed in November, so he's looking for stuff. Dan Illick's actually picking up people's empty glasses at the moment. He was willing to take that job. We've been talking on the show for a while about you not proposing

to your girlfriend in Thailand. How's that come up? That's come up almost half as many times as my voice and last name, nearly, nearly caught up. But yeah, so we were talking about that for a while and then what happened, you were in Thailand and a bunch of your old work friends pranked you by congratulating you for engaging to your girlfriend on your Facebook wall. Yeah.

It was chaos, basically. Yeah, it was about four hours before I got home and noticed that everyone in the world thought I was engaged. Yeah. And my girlfriend had been getting text messages. Yeah. Congratulating her. Yeah. From my mum and dad.

No, that didn't happen. And you laid the foot of the blame clearly at one man. Yes. A friend of mine called Guy Shields. Yep. Yep. Otherwise known as Sex Author, if anyone's heard that episode. Yep.

So literally half an hour before this show started, I got an email from your mate Guy Shields. Right. Saying, hey, club, arsehole of the show Guy Shield here. Just wanted to bring this to your attention as a credit where credit is due. Regrettably, I wasn't the mastermind, but yes, I did help kick things off. And he sent me a chain of emails between himself

and another one of your mates, Stephen Lording. So the first email is Stephen Lording. Can we not do live shows anymore? Stephen Lording, Two Guys Shield, on the 25th of the 6th, 2012, at 7.41am.

Stephen Lording, I assume you haven't listened to the latest Dum Dum. A lot of talk about the possibility of Carl proposing or more likely not proposing to his girlfriend. Do we need to get a little congratulatory flash mob together on his wall? 20 or so of us congratulating him with the hope that it takes on a life of its own. Or would that be mean? Smiley face.

25th of the 6th, 2012, 9.55am, Guy Shield wrote, sure, let me know when you're keen to do it and I'll chime in. From Stephen Lording, 25th of June, 2012, at 2pm, Sam's nervous it's going to backfire. Surely nothing can go wrong, hey?

If Carl's girlfriend sees it on Facebook, that'd make it even better, yes? So, if heartbreak is better... I just thought that was worth bringing up, because, you know, Guy Shields has done some things in his time, and I feel like he's been misrepresented here. He wasn't the instigator. Dealing with these people, I feel like what it must be like to know me.

Is that what I'm like, knowing me? Yeah, no, big time. That's absolutely what you're like, which is why it's so joyous watching you get your comeuppance. Wow. I hope everyone appreciates what I do in the next hour before I neck myself. Someone's genuinely said I'm going to be dead in an hour. Genuine sympathy.

Should we get into this and introduce our roaming man in the crowd? Yes, sure. Let's do that. Ladies and gentlemen, he's come up to Sydney with us for the week. He's been doing gigs with us all week. He's been banging babes for seven days straight. You know him, you love him. Please welcome our roving reporter for the evening, Luke McGregor.

Yay! There he is. This will be the test. Now, Placid McGregor, he's decided not to turn the mic on until the very last minute that he needs to speak into it. Hey! Sweet sound check. He's decided not to turn the mic on until the very last minute that he needs to speak into it. Hey. Sweet sound check. How's it going?

Are we able to get a bit of house light up? People probably can't even see it. People need to see Luke McGregor, surely. No, it's fine. Hey. Hey. Thanks for having me. I was back there trying to be really cool with the other celebs.

There's a lot of big names out there, McGregor. How are you faring? I just stood there with my sunglasses on and came out. I think it went pretty well. Yeah. Luke, would you like to go and sit next to maybe the prettiest girl in the house? That's a lot of pressure. like to go and sit next to maybe the prettiest girl in the house?

That's a lot of pressure. I'll just sit by myself over there. No, I'll sit. I don't know. Where's the best... We didn't bring you to Sydney to sit by yourself in the back of a venue. There's a lady here who's volunteered herself. Oh, there's a lady. Yeah. G'day.

People I'm staying with. No, that's true. Not you. How are you going? It's your idea. Oh, no. Sorry. You were on Twitter before.

How are you going? Nice to meet you. So, no. So, hang on. We've brought you to Sydney to sit down and talk to your housemate. Is that what's... Just to confirm, that's what's happening? No, no, no.

My housemate's just there. This is someone I haven't... Oh, you're one person away from... Oh, no, no. My housemate's just there. This is someone I haven't met before. Oh, you're one person away from him. Oh, good, good. Sorry. That's much better. So what's Luke been like as a house guest? Has he been good?

She's just like you. Yeah, he's been really good. He's been very good. Oh. Ah! Suck that. Rip off that, good. Oh. Ah! Suck that. Rip off that, guys.

Yeah. Now, Luke, what tends to happen when you come on this show is that we'll be in conversation in the weeks leading up to it and you'll tell a story and then you'll get to the end and I'll go, you realise I'm just going to literally say to you, tell that story now on the podcast. Before you bring anything up, know that I'll be telling you less and less interesting stuff in normal life

with the fear it'll be told in front of everyone else. I'm absolutely fine with that because we've gotten some doozy so far. We're happy to burn you after this episode. That's fine. Can you please, because this is such a good story, can you tell these people about the work function that you went out to a couple of weeks ago

with your boss? You know the one. You mean where I was saying, where I said goodbye? Yes, that one. Yeah, the one time in your life where you've said goodbye. Yeah, yeah. That's specific instance. Classic McGregor, you've given away the punchline.

God. It was just, it was, it wasn't, I don't think it's, I think everyone had said it at some point. I was, I was, I was leaving the work function and I've got my boss's female. Clang. And I went to... And as I was leaving, I just went to kiss her on the cheek

because just for a second, I thought she was my mum. Yeah. I thought she was my mum. Yeah, it's just what happens sometimes. And it was not awkward at all because I said I'm really sorry about that. I thought for a second you were my mum. Don't have made it less awkward if you'd said that. It was awkward for a bit. It was a couple of months it was awkward but after that it was fine.

She doesn't look like my mum at all now. But you said to me the reason that you made the mistake was because she's the same dimensions as your mum. Yeah, she is. She looks, if you didn't, if they were both in shadow. Silhouette-wise, she's a dead ringer. Yeah, if they're incomplete, if they're in a dark room, they would look the same.

Is that how your line of vision works? Are you like the predator or something, where you just... You see the heat patch and you just kiss it? It was just a breaking conversation between the three of us. I didn't think I'd have to go into so much detail about it. I just thought you guys would go, yeah, that sucks when that happens. So have you repaired the relationship? Is everything okay now?

Mum and I are fine. Hang on, what did you do to the person at work that looks like your dad? It was a hair job. No, it was too much. Sorry. This is a PG podcast, Luke. Sorry. It's five o'clock in the afternoon.

Sorry. Really sorry about podcast, Luke. Sorry. It's five o'clock in the afternoon. Sorry. Really sorry about that, Dad. It was fine. Time made it okay. And you're now looking for work. And for a new family. Yeah. I had to get a tall skinny boss.

It was weird. So your mum's fat? that's what you're saying? No, no, mum's really... Oh, God. This has been piped straight live to Tasmania, by the way. Sorry, mum. I don't know what to say. No, it was fine.

It didn't happen. That was all made up. No, it was weird for ages. And it was really weird for a long time. Now it's weird again. All right, then. You had a McGregor story from the week that you've been... Yeah, now, we flew up together.

You have so many good guests, you know. What happened to you on the way up in the plane? Oh, it was a... So there was someone and I was walking up the stairs to get to the plane and it was really busy. I feel like Carl Pilkington. And it was... I was walking up the stairs and someone...

You know how you can't go up the stairs any quicker because there's people behind you and the planes aren't going to leave without you. So this guy or someone hit the back of my foot. And so I was a bit angry. So I turned around and went, I can't go any faster. And what had happened is an old man about 65 had fallen over and it was his face that hit the back of my foot.

And then you kissed him and went, are you okay, mum? Yeah. It was, and you okay, Mark? Yeah. It was... And you couldn't see it, so it was just me looking angrily at this... Dead old man. Yeah, so I looked down and there was an old man and his face was on my foot. And I helped him up and it was... And then the air marshals took you off the plane.

Yeah, it was... It was not good. Alright, well please try and mess up again within the show so we've got something to talk to you about by the end of it. But we've got some guests to talk to now apparently. Give it up for Luke McGregor.

We're going to be cutting back to him throughout the show. Alright, shall we get into it? I think we shall. Alright. I'm super excited. Are you guys excited for these guests we've got? Yeah.

Yeah. This is one of the most all-star live show line-ups I think we've ever had. This is amazing. When we've got Luke McGregor as the entree, man. Yeah, wow. Hope you guys didn't fill up on bread because there's a feast to come in.

Yep. Our first guest this afternoon, you will know him as the host of Enough Rope and Rambling. Please welcome to the stage, Andrew Denton! Yay! Yay! Welcome! This is very exciting.

This is really intimidating to be talking to you because you're the guy. You're the talk show guy. You're the best. You're the guy at it. I've fucked it already. Is this how you would have said it? I've gotten a contact high off McGregor. He's made me awkward.

We'll fix this in post. This will be fine. No questions in there. People listening at home think he hasn't even come out on the stage yet. We're just cutting pace from an old episode of Live and Sweaty and this will sound excellent. This is the point. This is what happens when you don't pay your guests. So what else you been up to Tommy?

Fuck, I wish Rove was in the country. Ask him about his shows. Wow, this is the stage we've got to. McGregor is helping us out. He's leaving. He's doing it. He's shaking hands. He's gone.

He's out the door. What's happening? We have had it good for too long. Doing free podcasts, we've needed a comeuppance for too long now. So... Hello, hi, how are now. Good to meet you. Hello. Hello.

Hi. How are you? Nice to meet you. Good to be here. Yeah. Hello. Hi. I think he's doing his own interview show up the back of the show.

He's gone a bit Jay Leno. He's shaking everyone's hands in the crowd. Oh, Phil Donahue, everyone. Nice to meet you. Oh, good, good. Hello. Hi. We haven't met yet. Nice to meet you oh good good hello hi we haven't met yet nice to meet you

alright this so this this is our second chance I fucked up the first one alright alright I'll take it from you I'll take it from you take it from you

right so thank you Angie thank you for being on the show ah show? Man, how long have we been on? Are we into our second hour already? It feels like that. I think we're being punked right now. Let's just get a syllable out of him. What do you think? Is there any way we can... How has your day been? Good. Yay! You are the new Parkinson. That is.

You know the right thing to ask. You broke me wide open. I wasn't expecting that. That was good. Found a moment of weakness I went for it I thought I could hold out for the full podcast but no

focusing on the past go the present go right now we were playing good cop dickhead cop to be fair which one was the good one sorry

well let's get to this now we when we come to Sydney our two you know we want to get our dream guests and you we're our number one guest.

We're so wrapped to have you on. Thank you so much. Look, I sent an email to you. I found your email address and I sent an email to you, which I thought was quite a complimentary email. It read like this. Hi, Andrew. Congratulations on rambling.

I'm really enjoying it. Well, that was a lie, so I knew that was a lie. But go on. But anyway, let's not pick your email apart. Showbiz. I hope everything behind the scenes is going well. You didn't care, but anyway, let's go.

Why did I put so many footnotes in this thing? Hope I'm not annoying. Yeah, I got your draft, you see. Yeah, right. Hope I'm not annoying. You were, but go on now. I'm starting to read this thing now. But thought I'd hit you up about being on our live podcast we're doing in Sydney.

That lasts the truth, yeah. Yeah. You'd be our dream first guest. Oh, okay. No one's believing that, can they? Wondered if you'd had the time or inclination. Hope all is well. Thank you for your time, Carl.

Which I thought, you know, that's a heartfelt... Because I've grown up watching your shows all through the ABC and Channel 7 and all that sort of stuff. So I was really sort of intimidated. Even on email,

your reply, for fuck's sake. When are you two dickheads going to leave me alone? How do I get dragged into this? I demand an answer. Why don't you give it to me in person on the show? So I was like, aw.

See? See? But I have to say, I've never been as excited to be called a dickhead before in my life. You'll get many opportunities. Look, thank you. That's very kind of you. Very gracious of you. Thank you. Yes. Thank you. Now, do you, that's very kind of you Very gracious of you, thank you Yes, thank you

Now, do you have a second question? Well, in answer to your question of when we're going to leave you alone Definitely after today No, don't be Look, I'm only tiny, don't be intimidated by me I think you're still taller than me, maybe Oh, do it Another sweet moment for the podcast

It's good for podcasts What's the verdict? It's good for podcasts. Yeah. Oh, God. I feel... Oh. What's the verdict? Someone's taking a photo. Yeah. Back to back.

All right, let's do this. Can I be in the photo just so I seem really good as well? Does anyone want to call out who's winning or just make us do this for ages? This looks like the world's ugliest ABBA impersonation. I'm ugly. Now, congratulations on, like I said before, on Randley. Really enjoying Randley, despite what you think. You don't have to keep saying that.

Well, we're not paying you, so I think that's the least I can do. That's a pretty shitty payment. No, I am enjoying it, and especially, I felt I had a similar idea as Randling, that I didn't

quite get up. It was sort of only part of your show, maybe. My idea was just to have a lot of people in school uniform, mostly girls. It was a lot more sexual than your show maybe. My idea was just to have a lot of people in school uniform. Mostly girls. It was a lot more sexual than your show. We piloted that one but the agency wanted something more middle Australian.

Something not pornographic I believe was what the ABC said. Yeah, that's right. I think the show you want to make, you want to make in Japan. I think that's where you're looking to be broadcast. Yeah, that would be broadcast. Yeah. Yeah. That would be right.

And the other thing is, because you're so intimidating, I guess, as an interviewer, because you're known as the master interviewer and you do so much research, I've done as much as I possibly can. Sure. I looked at IMDb an hour ago. Good. And I saw something I didn't know about you. The one acting actual credit on there was that you were in a country practice in the episode Nobody's Perfect, part one.

Sure. So the character didn't have legs, it just couldn't kick onto the second part. Well, I was a toilet roll delivery man. And let me tell you, I blew Brian Wenzel off the screen. That's all I'm going to say. Now, I had seven lines and I delivered all of them really badly. I cannot act

at all. I've written scripts for myself which I know exactly how they're meant to go and then when I perform them I think, God, that was bad. I can't act. So you were delivery man. Yeah, yeah. perform, I think, God, that was bad. I can't act. So you were delivery man. Yeah, yeah. Which made me think, were you the best delivery man on 80s TV? Were you better or was Greg Fleet better as delivery man number two in Prisoner?

Greg was a lot looser. Greg thought delivery man meant something else. He thought that was for him. So he was there a long time waiting for somebody to give him a packet. I remember talking to him about it. He was furious. You are very similar. You did also ask me for 20 bucks backstage.

I did. I love any time greg fleet comes up in conversation just you just waiting for the 20 buck moment waiting for the opening where you can just wedge it in there you're right what you know it's happened to me it's honestly happened to me enough times that i think i can say it it's never happened to me i've never money. I got a phone call from him in Thailand. Oh, yes. You were in Thailand or he was in Thailand? I was in Thailand. And I got the feeling he would have travelled to get it.

I would have had to give him 30,000 baht, I think. I think that was it, but yeah. Now, I think I'm going to have to go back to my notes. Do you want me to hold those? I can probably just ask the questions myself. No, Luke McGregor, so I guess we want to know more about your style as an interviewer. You've heard Luke McGregor, you've met Luke McGregor briefly. Yep.

Can you give us an example of what you would say maybe to Luke McGregor? Yeah. If you were to resurrect Enough Rope tomorrow and have him as your first guest? Sure. I'd say, I think I'd probably start with a soft note, which is, can you please not stay too long? We've got the main guest coming.

No deal. Well, obviously, if it's Enough Rope interview, we're going straight for the tears. Well, obviously, if it's an off-rope interview, we're going straight for the tears. So you're just going to introduce a girl to Luke? No, no, you see, that would be a mistake. I'd introduce a picture of a girl to Luke. So it would remain unattainable and alluring.

Is this an off-rope or a science experiment? It could be either. We put him in a bell jar, see how long he breathes This is all great stuff guys Where are you Luke? I can't even see you Where's he gone? I'm sorry, I went out the back

I could just hear this disembodied voice I'm here I was just cleaning up some of the drinks Oh I see I don't know where to stand I'll go back over here I was just cleaning up some of the drinks. Oh, I see. I don't know where to stand. I'll go back over here. What if he did this on the set of Enough Rope,

just walked around trying to find a seat, didn't know where to go? That's pretty much what we would expect of Luke, I think. You should see my episode. It was really good. Yeah, it was. Luke, what is the question you would least like to be asked on national television? Carl, when are you going to propose to your girlfriend?

Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. Boo. Last live podcast ever. If you keep throwing those $20 notes around, you can't afford it.

What about we get our second guest out here to join us? Okay, let me give it up for Andrew Denton. Going to move down one seat for us. This next guest, you will know him from The Morning Show and The Price is Right. Please welcome Larry Emner. Yay! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Welcome! Hey. Hey! So, just before we start, I wanted to confirm, Andrew was your first choice of guest. Oh, dear. Yeah, and the second chair was their second choice of guests. Oh, dear. Yeah. And the second chair was their second choice of guests.

Am I supposed to be there? No. No, no, no. Andrew's supposed... I mean... Was I supposed to be there? Well, I mean, you can be... I don't know what the etiquette is.

Come on, come on. Sit next to me. I assume... If only you'd had your own show before, you'd have experience, but... I assume once you've dispensed with the guests,

they just go to the end in disgrace and move on to the next one. Into the sin bin with you. That's right. Larry did say he wanted a chair between you two at all times. Yes, yes, yes. It's important after what happened. And a taser. The last time we were on television together.

But don't ask about that. Don't ask about that. Don't ask. So, Larry, we are... My first question is, when was the last time you two were on television together there? It was a telethon. It was about four in the morning.

You probably remember, Larry. There was a bucket of claret. Yes. Which I paid Larry $50 to dive into. Yes, that's right. And I was covering you in sump oil. That's right, yeah. Which Larry didn't pay for.

It was just a normal thing. Yeah, that's right, yes. And we ended up back at my place and fucked the telethon. In fact, I remember you saying distinctly, quote, unquote, those sick children give me the creeps. But as with all telethons, we did it for the kids. We did it for the kids, yes. Is someone updating Larry's Wikipedia page right now?

Or are you wasting your time? Just one time. Yeah, just one time. So, Larry, thank you very much for coming on. I mean, we just met you this afternoon. We sort of thought it would be great to try and get you on the show. And we just decided to start going you on Twitter and then our listeners and followers just joined in.

A lot of people here tonight were probably part of it. A round of applause if you assaulted Flareon. Yeah, thanks for nothing. Thank you. And I was scared because I come here occasionally and I'll sit out there and watch this. So I thought, I don't want to be up here on stage. And I thought, well, I host a game show

where people fart next to me when they get nervous. So how bad can this be? How bad can it be? That's what happens on the morning show? Yeah, that's right. It's like, Kylie. Kylie. But people are very excited to hear you on the show and to see you.

I think I've gotten at least a dozen emails from people saying, hey, is there any chance you can talk to Larry about getting me on The Price is Right? A dozen, that's it, a dozen. People who've auditioned and failed and really want to be on. Yeah, well, they're probably losers. I mean, we look at that. Are they losers?

Would you describe them as losers? I said that they're probably in this room. You're just confirming the case? That's what I... room. Are you just confirming the case? Can they fake it? Are they good fakers? Because occasionally you win stuff on Price is Right that you don't want. That happens occasionally. I don't know. Is there anyone

here who's like... Someone sent me an email saying they wanted to go on Price is Right. Is that person here? So look, if you get on, the only thing is if you get on and you win something you don't like, you've got to pretend. You've got to fake it, right? Yeah. Because the Qantas flight attendant from the Gold Coast

who came on the show and won a Qantas flight to the Gold Coast, he was so pissed off. But you've got to pretend. Well, what about we test it out on Luke. So Luke, because you auditioned... Have you auditioned for... Oh, sorry. Oh, Luke, sorry. Hi, Larry. You've auditioned for Deal or No Deal. What about Price? test it out on Luke? So, Luke, because you auditioned... Have you auditioned for... Oh, sorry. Oh, Luke, sorry.

Hi, Larry. You've auditioned for Deal or No Deal. What about Price? Would you go on Price? Sure. Yeah? Definitely. All right, well, do you want to tell Luke that he's just won a shit prize

and let's see how he reacts? Let's test him. All right, do you live in an apartment? Yes. All right, congratulations, Luke. You've just won an above-ground swimming pool. Oh! That's great.

He looks like one of those contestants who would fart when they get nervous. That means Luke McGregor would be constantly farting to be fair. We'd be like right at the end, it's between 28,500 and... He'd be like the smelly kid in Snoopy, just the pig pen, the kid with just a cloud of smoke around him at all times. You get rid of the mole before you leave the house and then you're set.

What did you say? I'm sorry. Oh, I didn't say anything, no. I mean, this would all be gold on price, wouldn't it? I mean, this would be amazing. Yeah, this wouldn't get cut out at all. Andrew O'Keefe would be, hurry the fuck up, we've got to get on air in a minute. It's a nervous character I do for podcasts and then I turn it off.

I'll be the Fonz in the after party. You mentioned Andrew O'Keefe. We had him on our last live show. Yeah, how was that? Yeah, he was excellent. Now, we've built you up to the same model that he was. Now, when he, I hope I'm not telling any secrets here, but we got him the night after the Logies.

Wow. I don't think he'd gone to sleep. No, no. Because you would have got him five nights after the Logies and he wouldn't have gone to sleep yet. We definitely got that impression, yes. And then he said, oh, you know, I've got to get out of here quickly because I've got five episodes to tape tomorrow.

He stayed at the bar much longer than us. He was there at two in the morning, I think. Yeah, he's quite good like that. Are we going to do something similar with you tonight, mate? Yeah, of course, of course, of course of course but I mean he would give you briefcases full of money to pay for the bar

I can only give you white goods and shit so if that gets us covered off on the bar then I'm fine to wash the shame off ourselves yeah yeah

how many beers can we get with an above ground pool just don't do that shit thing when we get to the bar and line up all the different beers

from all around the world and say alright put them in order from least expensive because that would piss me off yeah yeah have you heard to the bar and line up all the different beers from around the world and say, alright, put them in order from least expensive to most expensive. Because that would piss me off. Have you heard them all? You must have heard them all.

What's your best yodelling joke? That's between my wife and I. But people always think you're a game show host. So I'll go to Coles and the woman will look at the receipt at the end and go okay it's between $85 and $95

but you're not always a game show host like I turn off I don't go home and I'm like if my wife kisses me on the neck when I get home I don't automatically say lower I don't do it all the time it's not constant not a constant thing I reckon you've done that though no I do it a lot, but not all the time.

Okay, sure, sure. This is what we found out about you the other day through a friend of the show, Adam's War, Clang. He told us that you have a romantic comedy script that you've been writing. Is that true? About a game show host? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's not a romantic comedy. There's a bit of romance, but essentially the guy's in jail, so it's not so romantic.. There's a bit of romance, but essentially the guy's in jail, so it's not so romantic. So it's a porn? It's a documentary. Right.

It says to me that Adam's Wire has very strange ideas about romance. No, it is. I wrote it years and years ago when I first got axed or boned, as we say in television, from Price is Right. It was my way of getting back at the game show world. And it's about this game show character, this host, who gets in all sorts of trouble. And it's a comedy thing,

but it's basically taking the piss out of the genre. So I can only write it or look at it when I'm unemployed. And every day it gets better. Like, now that I'm doing the morning show, I'm thinking morning television is much funnier behind the scenes than game shows. So it's going through rewrites at the moment is what you're saying? It's being rewritten as we speak. Great. As we speak?

Right now? Because you never know when you're going to get boned again. That is what Luke McGregor said to us just before the show. He's getting boned again. He said... Yes.

Killer impro again. Look McGregor. I was just going to say quickly, again, my extensive research I did this morning about you. I like on your IMDB page, it's got all the shows that you've done, and it's got on there that you were

dancing with the stars, audience member. How desperate are you for IMDb quotes? But I was very good. Like I was better than the old chook next to me. I was very good. Did it mention Family Double Dare on that? It did, yes. Did you want to double dare on that? It did, yes. Did you want to talk about that?

No, no, no. First game show I ever did, 1988, and the first question on the first night was, how many Fs appear in the word dolphin? There were two mum and dad and two kids here, mum and dad and two kids here, and this woman hit the buzzer really quickly. I said, yes, Mary, how many?

She said, Larry, there are two. And I got kicked out of school when I was 15. Even I know there's only one, right? But that show got axed that night. Channel 10, the big boss at the time, called us and said, we can't do this to the Australian public. We're axing the show. One episode.

Wow. TV's changed. It jumped the dolphin. You're talking about's changed. It jumped the dolphin. No, no. Executive would never say we can't do that to the Australian public. Have you ever worked out, you mentioned Andrew O'Keefe before, has anyone here ever worked out

how that show actually works? When I first saw it, I figured you get a million dollars if you can understand the show. I don't get it. I think you just get part of the word, then you buy a vowel and then you spin the wheel. Then you understand the show. Yeah. I don't get it. I think you just get part of the word, then you buy a vowel and... And then you spin the wheel. Then you spin the wheel. Yeah, that's right.

And then the Japanese schoolgirls come out. I agree, though. It seems like the Tour de France where everyone just sort of goes together for the whole thing and then at the end they have a bit of a sprint. Like, they just... It doesn't matter what suitcase is open

and then at the end it's like, see you tomorrow night yeah yeah thanks for that explanation but i still don't get it yeah that's why andrew drinks so much because he can't understand the show it's like this giant metaphysical riddle that he's trying to live through i think he created it after the Lokis one year. Ladies and gentlemen, Larry Ender. All right. Move into that vacant seat. Our third guest this afternoon, you will know him from Triple J and from Nova. Please welcome Scott Dooley. Hello.

Welcome. Hi, Carl. Thank you for joining us. Fresh off the plane from Alice Springs, I believe you were in? Yeah, it's fucking glamorous, this show biz, isn't it? Yeah. Yep. Who just goes to Alice Springs for the weekend? Well, no one just goes to Alice Springs for the weekend.

It's there for work. Okay, right. Yeah. Hey, speaking of Price is Right... Speaking of Alice Springs... Can I go on? Yeah, no, you tell your Alice Springs story. So, one time, years ago, in Melbourne, a woman on The Price is Right won a holiday to Alice Springs.

She was so excited until she found out in the commercial break that it was a bus ride, right? Jesus. Four days up, two days there, four days back. Sorry, mate. Love Alice Springs. Jesus, wow. That's a mean show. Why are you doing this to her?

Shut up. It makes people happy. Shut up. It makes people happy. Shut up. The new Price is Right, I was asked to audition for the voiceover guy. Yes, you were. And I did go and audition. How'd you go? Didn't get the gig, lads.

And I walked in. I was dressed like this. They said, wear a collared shirt. So I dressed like Larry Emder is dressed right now. And the guy goes, come here. Does up my buttons and goes, this is big boy shit. Literally said that. And I went, okay.

And then, so where we are, we're in this empty television studio with a black curtain like this. And the guy is going, look, I'll pretend to be Larry Emder. I'll do this thing. And he goes, so he starts on this big rant and he goes, alright, we're here in the fantastic studio. Well, it's not a fantastic studio at the moment, it's all black here.

Someone who's not black is Scott Dooley. And I went on and went, yeah, that's right Larry. Your fake you is incredibly racist wow not a lot of people know

Tommy Dasso auditioned for the voice of the process right as well he did his audition the producer

said lower come on come on come on alright thanks very much for joining us everyone That's all the time we've got for tonight I'm going to burn this venue to the ground and everyone in it Hey, can I tell you my favourite backstage comment in television

Which wasn't to me, it was to Amanda Keller Who's a good friend of mine She did Dancing with the Stars And in the rehearsal, she slipped over And I don't know, anyone remembers Hay Had Saturday There was a guy called Crystal Yes Very camp guy, did all the sound effects and so on. So Amanda fell over and he just went, and I said, this should be the title, if you ever do an autobiography, show business

autobiography, this should be the title of it. He just went, careful love, don't go cunt up on the line, be Amanda Kellis. That's right, yeah. Exactly. Jeez. There is not a single wasted word in that sentence. No, there isn't. It's all equally, everyone's pulling it the same. That's right.

No wonder Larry demanded to be on IMDb for that credit. Was he Camp Crystal? Camp Crystal? Because he used to rub spray tan into my legs. No, that's on his IMDB register. He said it was all for the kids.

It was at four o'clock in the morning. Now, Scott, I want to bring this up. We've been talking about extensive research that we do on the show. I put you into Google this afternoon, and I don't know if you know this, but you know when you, sometimes if you start to type something into Google, it'll bring up suggested search results?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The first thing that comes up when you just put in Scott Dooley, it comes up. It's cunt. No. And me crying is the image. It just says,

the first one that comes up, what is Scott Dooley doing now? The most Googled thing. My mum's got google so she's always on um i'm doing stand-up yes not literally now but i am i am doing stand-up and um i don't know man i'm still getting paid by nova till the end of the year, so I am doing nothing. Thank you, Mr Murdoch. So how much are you allowed to say about that? Not a...

Nothing. No, no, no, no. I got it on the first syllable. Yeah. Can we just quickly get your thoughts on the Nova management team? I wouldn't do that, Scott. You'll go cunt up on the line.

I wouldn't do that, Scott. You'll go cunt up on the line over. That is one of those things, you know, when you see stand-ups, here's one you can use just around the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do that in your next stand-up. So if you're at the supermarket and you see some spilt Dolmio, just say, don't go cunt up on the line over.

A number of times I see spilt Dolmio in the soup. If only I had a line for this. This aisle is lousy with spilt Dolmio. I want to get into this because this is quite interesting. You, for a little point, you were BFFs with Charlie Sheen? Yeah. Well, I wouldn't say BFFs. Well. We were kind of buddies.

I went and visited him a couple of months ago and he was doing this new show, Well, I wouldn't say BFFs. Well. We were, yeah, we were kind of buddies. I went and visited him a couple of months ago and he was doing this new show, Anger Management. And that's a spin-off based on the quote-unquote wildly successful Adam Sandler. Was it wildly successful? That's why I said quote-unquote. Yeah, right. So this is after he's had his whole meltdown.

He's sort of back on the rails when you when you went i think back on the rails is the wrong thing to say about charlie well it's all relative did he have any coke uses in the audience that's good did he have any memory of who you were or where you had fitted into it there was honestly this moment where i was there and i was talking to him via text message and then his assistant, and he's got this whole team of people that's always around him and he said, come in here at 2 o'clock and the time keeps getting pushed out

and where they're filming is out in the middle of bloody nowhere. So I've gone there and I'm there and I've gone in and said, oh hi, I'm Scott I'm here to see Charlie and I'm outside his trailer and uh sorry showbiz talk bus and so up yourself i know what a way so i am so i'm there and everyone's who's

this guy so they've gone in and they said oh yeah come in so i was waiting out there for like 20 minutes and then they've said i'll go into the the set, there'll be someone there. So I'm kind of standing around and then in walks Charlie Sheen and I've kind of gone, this will show everyone here, watch this. And he's done this, he's just walked past. Great for the podcast, this story. And he's just walked past going... And just walked on and I've thought, well, this isn't how I imagined this to go.

And then he came over and we kind of had a chat. And it was at about that point that I thought, this story could use a punchline. But there were none on offer. Yeah, but to all some fairness, they don't pay you to be a guest on this podcast, so fuck their punchline. And third choice, according to the gushing Denton intro. Really made a rod for our own backs there with that one. We should have planned some of this. Well, so because you, when all that stuff was going down with him,

you ended up going, you were like the one person who he let in to interview him? Yeah, so we were hanging out at his house for a while. And how did that even come about? person who he let in to interview yeah so we were hanging out at his house for a while and uh how did that even come about well we all the interviews he'd been doing until that point were like really just one-on-one kind of 60 minutes so where are your children and how high are you right now and i went and sat down to him and said uh so uh hell of a week huh and he's like yeah man and started talking to me and so he I, we just started hanging out.

And, yeah, and then a bunch of weird stuff. Weird stuff always happens when you're near him. So we were going to go down and go and have, like, a meal with him and we couldn't because there were 35 police officers raiding his house. Like, just that's it. And it's just such a wonderful excuse. That sounds like the perfect excuse to go out to dinner. Yeah, but it's the best excuse.

He goes, hey, you're not going to be able to come over. They sent a SWAT team to my house. I like how Larry and Andrew are sort of nodding in agreement. Like, we've all, we've been there. I've got a SWAT team permanently outside my house to keep Andrew O'Keefe away. Always a helicopter hovering two feet off the ground so you can get in at a moment's notice and zoom away.

No deal! Was he the one that was delivering to Greg Fleet in Prisoner? No. Now, here's something else. You were nominated a couple of years ago for Clio Bachelor of the Year. Yeah, I don't know about nominated, but I did it. What?

Yeah, I did. I was in the... You were one of the... Hang on, did someone in the audience just say Clang? Good get. You guys are doing better than us. Well, we're going to ask you, what about this? Have you got any for young Luke McGregor

who you've become recently acquainted with? Best friend. Where the fuck he's gone again? We give you one job McGregor. Would anyone be surprised if we went, where's Luke McGregor? And he was masturbating in the corner. Would anyone be like, what? I love doing this podcast.

Any lady advice for McGregor? The only advice when i did it um i i actually paused so that person could say clang there um i was wearing a shirt like you were and everyone everyone i was you go into this kind of hotel room they go hey guys what would you like to wear and i went in with these two footballers who I didn't know who they were and uh and they're like going all right so what we're thinking for you is and they just came out with shorts how about that and then and then they go what about you John do you reckon oh yeah I've got my own shorts I'll just wear them and then so they come over to me and I'm going oh god I'm not gonna look good with my shirt off this isn't gonna go well and they come over to me and I'm going, oh, God, I'm not going to look good with my shirt off. This isn't going to go well.

And they come over with a button-up shirt. Because this is big boy shit. And this is big boy shit. Incredible response to that. So everyone, the theme is pool party, right? And I am the only person in the pool party who sat next to a spa really awkwardly with jeans and a shirt on. You can look it up.

I'm scared of the water. My dad fell off a boat when I was young and died. I can't go in the water. I know. And interest is haemophilia. It's like in high school when you don't want to get changed in front of the bigger boys. That doesn't stop in high school when you don't want to get changed in front of the bigger boys. That doesn't stop in high school, Carl. But when...

So when I'm there, I'm, like, wearing the button-up shirt and the woman, this is honestly... This was when... Like, it was already humiliating, like, because there's these shirtless footballers watching me in my jeans. It's the water as cold as it looks. And she comes over and she goes, oh, just one thing, love.

And she does a button up. She buttoned up. So any chance of chess couldn't be seen. Yeah, can we get a scarf around that hideous neck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was shocked when I didn't win. You won confirmed Bachelor of the Year. Yeah, that's right.

So your advice to Luke McGregor is don't go in the pool? Is that...? If your advice is don't be nominated for Cleo Bachelor of the Year, he's way ahead of you. He's a pale-looking chap. Yeah, but I have a roofside pool now, right? Well, it's inflatable. It probably won't last long.

That's not the first time he's heard that. Someone's filming me. A roof side pool, did you say? I said whatever the correct thing. It hovers in mid-air next to his roof. It's on the side of the roof. Someone's filming me on their iPhone right now. I can see my face.

I've got to move. Damn paparazzi. Yeah. You can see the headline, 11 killed in pool death plunge. Hey Luke, is there anyone else in the crowd that you think would be good to talk? Can we get the house lights up a little bit? Is there anyone? Are there people out there who? Does anyone have a question

for five people on stage? Yes. We have one person. Yes, sir. Hi, guys. Television's Will Anderson up here. Oh, shit. Oh, clang. Biggest clang so far. I'm just wondering

how Dool's got invited to this show before me. I mean, I'm willing to not get invited in front of Andrew. He is my boss. I'm willing to get invited not in front of Larry because he's richer than I am. But Doolz? Come on. Who's your next guest?

Michael Tun? To be honest, given your track record with podcasts, we thought if we had you on, this thing would be deleted and we'd never hear it again. Well, here's two differences. A, this wouldn't be recorded, and B, this room would be full. And there is a reason why you didn't get invited onto the big stage. It's okay, I'm starting my own podcast up here.

I'm like Bob Catter, I'm starting my own state. I am actually the host of the Little Dum Dum Club, because I read that in the Herald Sun article about podcasts. Yeah, is this a hostile takeover? Yeah, so this is not our fault. You guys all fucked up. You're facing the wrong way. I am like the Gina Reinhart to your podcast.

I'm coming in to take it over, even though it's shit and doesn't make any money. I don't want to kick you when you're down, but I'd like to join Will's podcast. It seems to be going really, really well, you know? He's sitting at the back. Is that the segment up there just dedicated for the employees of you, Andrew? Because I can see Will and then David Tench next to him. Oh, damn. That was a sweet reference for the six people that got it.

Yeah, that's right. Can I just say... Two of them are up here. Yeah, yeah. David Tench reference. I have been enjoying tonight very much, but it shows how important punctuation is because I know you've got a lot of young people who listen to this podcast.

They're looking for you guys for guidance. They're on the internet all the time and they don't use punctuation anymore. But this is how important a comma is. Earlier tonight, Andrew Denton said, I blew Brian Wurzel off stage. Now, if there had been a comma in the middle of that sentence, I blew Brian Wurzel, comma, off stage,

it would have been a very different sentence. And actually a more accurate one, I just didn't want to talk about that part of my life. Will Anderson, everyone, ex-employee of Andrew Denton. All right, I think it's about time to wrap this thing up. Yeah, sure. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a round of applause to Scott Dooley,

Larry Emder, Andrew Denton, Will Anderson, Luke McGregor. Guys, thank you so much for coming out. We really, really appreciate it. We've got Haymate t-shirts, we've got CDs and books and stuff for sale out the front

stick around have a drink with us yeah well what we're all going to Hungry Jacks this is

this is not a drive-thru speaker that's it thanks so much for joining us thanks if you're listening at home and we'll see you

next time see you mates