The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 95 - Josh Earl & Tegan Higginbotham

Episode Date: July 17, 2012

Luke McGregor's Twitter Policy, Paralell Universes and Ripley's Believe It Or Not. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, welcome into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. My name is Tommy Dassolo, sitting opposite me, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day Dickhead. Oh, I got a double point there. Yep. Two guns. I was showing off for the new guest. Ah, yes.

I guess I hadn't been here. Very good. Hey, thank you everyone who came out to see our show in Sydney. It was a lot of fun. It was a great time, wasn't it? It was a great little week. It was an awesome week. We had people that listened to the show come up every night and come and see the stand-up

and plenty of them came to see the show. Yeah. It was a very well-attended show. Yeah, it was awesome. I haven't listened back to it. Was it any good? Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Oh, good.

Yeah. Yeah, the bits that I could stomach where I'm not embarrassed by my performance in front of Andrew Denton. Oh, really? There were some bits in there that were alright. Why? Did you talk in front of him? I think the handball was just before the show.

I don't know anything about Andrew Denton. You deal with him. Oh, no, I don't think that was the handball at all. I think you're being very selective with your memory. Really? Yeah. That sounded good in my head. He's just a very intimidating guy.

More so than anyone else. Definitely not a guy that you want to look hack or anything in front of. Yeah. Which is really all I've got. Yeah. So that was good. We went and hung out afterwards with some friends of the show. Remember we were all hanging out back at a hotel.

Yes. Having some drinks, having a chat. In a penthouse suite. Yep. And do you remember one of our friends there kind of just sort of fell asleep because it was getting pretty late. Yes. And we went, oh, you know, it's getting, you know, gone nine eyes, gone bed bys.

Yep. And she went, yeah, normally I listen to you guys when I'm going to bed. So just the sound of you puts me to sleep. So it was just like having that live in the room was like a trigger. Yeah. Your voice is a bit like a lullaby. Yeah. Yeah. It was, that's nice though. Yeah. Is that a compliment? I guess so. It like a trigger. Yeah. Your voice is a bit like a lullaby. Yeah. Yeah.

It was, that's nice though, isn't it? Is that a compliment? I guess so. It's a compliment, maybe. If it's... I mean, it doesn't say much that, I mean, we're obviously not super funny because if it was, a few people have said to me that they listen to us when they go into bed. Right.

Which means that it's just a lull. Yeah. It's like not too, if it was super funny, you're involved. You wouldn't watch Die Hard before you went to bed. Yeah, exactly. That's what I mean. But we want to be Die Hard. We want to be the Die Hard of comedy.

We're more Enya at the moment. Yeah, we're more. Enya of podcasts. Well, I mean, you're mixing your metaphors. Are we? That movie Enya. Yeah, we all know that one. Yeah, Enya the movie.

They rebooted it this year. Oh, did they? Yeah. Oh, okay. I missed that. Yeah. Too excited for Batman to have paid any attention. Is that a thing?

Yes. Speaking of Batman, this is a bit of mailbag that's not so much Batman emailed us Batman emailed the show Yes, desperate to come on This is a voicemail message I mean this is mailbag But it's not so much a mailbag to us

This is more personal than mailbag generally gets This is a message that's sent directly to me That's nothing to do with the show That I thought I would play anyway That wasn't mail? No. No. It's a voicemail message from Luke McGregor, friend of the show, Luke McGregor.

And basically, it's him trying to organize tickets for me and him to go and see Batman. Right. And it is a... If you know Luke McGregor, if you don't know Luke McGregor, either way, it's a stunning... He's been on the show before. Yeah. It's a stunning portrait of a man. So, let's... Oh, He's been on the show before. Yeah, it's a stunning portrait of a man. So let's...

Oh, hey, buddy. It's Luke. I was actually ringing to book in a Batman fish, but I remembered as I was dialing that you've actually already booked it. So I might book one. It's a disaster. I'll talk to you soon. There we go.

Hang on. How do we have proof that's Luke McGregor? So there we go. Just nice to hear from a fan every now and then. Oh, I feel like we're going to talk about Luke McGregor a bit in this episode. I've got a few things on my sleeve. Okay, good. It was good at the live show last week. We'll get into the guests in one minute.

One last thing just at the moment is there was, he ended up sitting next to a young lady in the crowd. Yes. And I remember looking at it and thinking we were being taped because the young lady was holding up an iPhone and you could see the light or whatever. Yes, yep. But then we got notified after the show that she'd uploaded a video. Yes.

And it was us talking. The audio was us, but she was taping her own face. Yes, watching the show. And then every 10 seconds, she would very slyly tilt it to show McGregor's face. It was like our show got bootlegged. Yeah. That's very weird.

For a free thing to get bootlegged, that is weird. So if she was to try and get that out there and somehow undercut us, undercut our free product, what, she'd give you money to watch it? Is that how it works? It's a wonder when I was in Thailand the other week, I didn't see a lot of these copies of that show. Just with other people's faces with a tiny bit

of Luke McGregor in it. Yeah, and a few Comedy Festival episodes on cassette tape or on Laserdisc. Yeah, no, it was very great. Yeah, if you haven't listened yet, go back and listen to that episode. Let's get into this week's show. Two great guests. We're very excited to have them in here making her debut appearance

on the show. She was nominated for the Best Newcomer Award at this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Please welcome in the little dum-dum club, Tegan Higginbotham. Yay! Wow, this is exciting. I'm getting cheered and everything. Yeah, that's what everyone gets.

That's the welcome. You're a big name. Literally. Yeah. Yeah, horrible, horrible big name. Now, if I said it, is it Tegan Marie? Because that's your full name, isn't it? That's my full name.

But I don't know. I just put that up on Facebook because it asked for a middle name. And then everybody thinks I'm one of those hyphenated names and they mention it. I thought it was just a standout from all the other Tegan Higginbothams. I know. I know. It's crazy. I'm batting them off.

But no, I'm just- You what? You what? You're aware that you just said you're batting them off. Look, I may have said that. Let's discuss my name some more and forget what I just said. Oh, God. You're in over your head.

Speaking of batting them off, our second guest on the show. Can I do this? Yeah, go for it. Oh, cool. This feels like I'm a grown-up. Our second guest on the show tonight, everyone, tonight. See, I've made an error already. Oh, it's going well.

Today, at some stage in the day, our guest, our second guest, is a previous friend of the show. Oh, God. It's Joshua. Yay! It could be tonight. I think that was pretty seamless. Yeah.

He got there in the end. It's as late at night as it is day, so you're fine. Yeah, okay, good. I like that you said our second guest, everyone. Everyone's a comma. I said his name at the end of the introduction, which I think is fairly important. Well, counts for something. I got the important bit, right?

Yeah, for sure. We got there. Yeah. Thanks for having me back, guys. You're very welcome. You're growing your hair very long. That's very exciting to me. That's a good thing to do for an audio thing.

We know the medium, mate. We're on top of it. Episode 95. We know what we're doing. And what's this previous friend? I think it was pretty clear I didn't know what I was saying. You used to be a friend of the show, and then you fucked it with your disgusting long hair that hasn't been washed in ages.

Look at it. It's all ratty. There's bugs flying around it. Is it dank? It's dank, like dank slacks. Dank slacks. Smells like when you leave your washing machine for too long. Did you leave your hair in the machine too long?

Batting on. Sweet. They were both good lines on top of each other. I know, I know. Those are some layered punchlines. We're going to have to do sign language to each other. Go, you go. For the real comedy train spotters, they can get the audio of this and split the layers

and just hear each of your voices separately. Double up. And when you play them back, there's a message, a secret message. Oh, really? Yeah. You have prepared for this. Tegan Higginbotham is batting off. I'd love to see someone come onto this show and, like,

when they speak to us it's gibberish, but that's because they've sat down all day and, like, planned backwards messages to insert into the show. It'd be a terrible episode, but it'd be pretty dynamic. Yeah, it'd be rare, but shit. Yeah. Shall I talk about Luke McGregor while we're on the subject? Yeah, guys, what's your favourite voicemail message that you guys will get?

Let's keep it together, guys. Now, he was on the show, Luke McGregor, great friend of the show. Friend of everyone in this room. Yeah, absolutely. Friend of Melbourne comedy. Friend of comedy. I bumped into him in the city last night. He was on his way to see Spider-Man.

Oh, yeah, that's unlike him. Very, very excited. Yep. It's a Saturday night. Why wouldn't he have been? Yep, for sure. Now, he was on the show last week. Everyone loves him. Very excited. Yeah. It's a Saturday night. Why wouldn't he have been? Yeah, for sure. Now, he was on the show last week. Everyone loves Luke McGregor.

Yes. He was telling me on Twitter, he said that he reckons the majority, he had a large quantity of his followers on Twitter are because of us. He said, oh, it's great. You guys have put my name out there, and I've got a lot of followers now because of you. They're all friends of your show. Now they're like me. It's great. You guys have put my name out there and I've got a lot of followers now because of you. They're all friends of your show. Now they're like me. It's great.

Oh, yeah, nice one. And then I sort of thought about it and went, I don't reckon he's ever sort of mentioned that he's been on our show. So then I sent him a message and said, hey, why don't you put on, if everyone likes you because of Dum Dum on Twitter, why don't you put on Twitter something about you've been on the new episode. And then there was nothing. And then I got a phone call from him and said, yeah, look,

how are you going? Do you want to come and see Batman? No? Okay, cool. He said, now, look, about that Twitter, about doing that, I can't promote you on Twitter because that's not part of my Twitter policy. He was joking. No.

What? Luke McGregor has a Twitter policy. His exact words. Wow. And I said, what? And he goes, I don't retweet anything and I don't reply to people on Twitter. He's the new Ronnie Chang. Yeah. What? And I don't reply to people on Twitter. Oh. He's the new Ronnie Chang. Yeah.

What? Wow. Wow. How's that? How many followers does he have on Twitter? We've made him. We've made him who he is. And he's turned on us.

Yeah. He's gone showbiz on Twitter. I'll tell you what, I'm glad I'm not seeing Batman with him now. I'm going to ring him up and make a booking for Batman and then cancel it. So that's the mistake. Don't answer the phone when he calls. Just let it go to voicemail. Having said that, I hung up before I found out what his Facebook policy was.

So I'm not sure what that's like. Wow, that's really hurt me. It's really hurt me a lot. It's a different side of Luke McGregor, isn't it? Yeah. He's turned. Yeah. He's become that.

Look, you know what? Ever since those videos from our show went up on YouTube of him, that's changed him. I don't know him anymore. Like he could be just banging babes sideways at the moment. Let's not go crazy. Yeah. Banging babes sideways. He'd be batting them off.

Yeah. He'd be batting them off sideways. Does your show usually have a theme? Because I think we found it. Yeah. And it's always that theme as well. Wow. The theme's always batting off. So I don't know him.

We're friends, but I don't have his number on my phone. Do you want it right now? Does everyone listening to the show want it? I don't know. He might have a phone. Yeah, exactly. But I'm saying the only way I can contact him is through the medium of Twitter. So if I reply to him, if I wrote him a message saying,

hey, I've got this great gig for you, can you come on? Do it. Do it right now. Let's get him to break the policy. What we should do is we should send him some really great offers that he would need to reply to. And he can't, though, because it's against his policy. And we will unfollow him so he can't private messages.

Yes. Excellent. So everyone listening, get on Twitter and just tell Luke McGregor you're going to have sex with him. Tell him. You've got premiere tickets of Batman. Yep. Yep.

Yep. Which will be coming out tomorrow. Even better, tell him that you're a woman. Let's make him break his policy. Yeah. And then, I mean, there's no way we can get him to promote something. Just general abuse, maybe. Just abuse Luke McGregor.

Luke W. McGregor on Twitter. What about this? He's never coming. Huh? Do you know what the W is? I would have shh. Big fan of George Bush. Walter?

Wrestling? I reckon it's Waylon or something like that. Waylon. I reckon it's something. Yeah, it's got to be something extraordinary, hasn't it? Yeah. Willoughby. Willoughby, yeah. Willow. Waylon. I reckon it's something. Yeah, it's got to be something extraordinary, hasn't it? Yeah. Willoughby. Willoughby, yeah.

Willow. Willow. Wallace. Luke Wallace McGregor. That's it. It's Wallace. Wanker about Twitter? How about this?

I'm putting this out there. Luke McGregor, if you're listening, and I know you usually don't, so I don't know how you're going to hear this. If you don't promote this show at least once on your Twitter, you're never being asked back on again. We built you. We can destroy you. You understand that this is the first rule of your policy now.

There's a dum-dum policy now, which is that if Luke McGregor doesn't advertise you, he's out. Yeah, I'm fine. That's the first thing that's been... It's creating a vicious cycle. She's looking to the rule board over on there. Yeah, let's do that. Yeah.

Well, yeah. Otherwise, everyone unfollow Luke McGregor, I think. I think that's the only fair thing to do. Oh, my God. It's the only way to deal with this like adults. Yeah. Yeah. Let's take his power away from him.

I think this is not going to end well for you guys. I think you guys are first season Family Matters. McGregor is Steve Urkel. He's coming. He's going to take over. Oh, God. Oh, wow. Hey, speaking of promotion and stuff like that, Josh, I haven. He's going to take over. Oh, God. Oh, wow. Hey, speaking of promotion and stuff like that, Josh,

I haven't seen you for a little bit. We spent a bit of time together around the comedy festival because our shows were roughly the same time. And then I went away for months. Yes, and also you have a family and I have, you know, basically nothing. Something quite exciting happened to you during the comedy festival with regards to a certain TV show. Yeah.

What's the latest on that? Fill people in just for those of us that don't know. I do a segment on Triple R Breakfast, which is apparently my bucket list, but I just go on there and talk about whatever I want. And one of the things was I want to be on Neighbours. That was my thing. But I don't want to act on Neighbours. I'm not an actor.

I want to be me. So I said to him, I just said on air, this is the plan. I'll do a gig at Charlie's. Is Is there someone in your show called Josh Earl? And if so, can I be here? I'm going to do a gig at Charlie's bar. Sonia has the son Callum. He likes comedy. Oh wow. Make it for his birthday. I'll do the cake song, train cake, bang, there's content for your show. A producer was listening, rang up and said, okay, let's get our diaries in sync. Just fortunate that Neighbours doesn't have a no Josh Earle policy going on.

Yeah. But then we talked and then the logistics of it, they can't do a song, so I'm just going to be doing stand-up. That's so good. That's great. That's so good, especially because I've been on Neighbours and the logistics of it, they can't do a song, so I'm just going to be doing stand-up. That's so good. That's great. That's so good, especially because I've been on Neighbours and I wasn't doing anything cool. Oh, here we go.

Were you the original Josh Earle? I was Toadie, then I lost weight. No, I was the most horrible thing. I was a paraplegic called Francie Taylor, and in my one and only scene I had to be lowered into a swimming pool while sitting in a wheelchair. Yep, that's me. Oh, my God.

What? They didn't get you out of the pool? Oh, she's dead. The wheelchair went into the pool? Yeah. Apparently some pools have these special things. Were they trying to kill you? Is that why that was your only appearance?

I was this character called, what was I called again? Francie Taylor, that's right. And there was a character on there called Bridget, and Bridget had been in a character called, what was I called again? Francie Taylor. That's right. And there was a character on there called Bridget, and Bridget had been in a car accident, and I was like the example of what could have happened to Bridget, but didn't. Wow. See, the thing is, we've talked about this with Blue Heelers,

where they repeat actors and stuff. That would be cool if you went back in and got another role, and then you just walked in and they went, Francie, I thought you couldn't walk. Yeah. You were just a different person. Yeah, no, but I mustn't have done my paraplegic thing very well because they never asked me back.

But are there not like paraplegic actors that couldn't, you know what I mean? Would that be kind of offensive to people who are actually in wheelchairs? I don't know. Or did they, I mean, did they just break your legs for the role? Well, yeah. I'm fine with that. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, yeah, it was method.

Oh, okay, great. I wasn't going to half-ass or anything like that. So the way, like, they had you baited where you didn't know if you were going to get the role or not, and then one day you're walking down the street and one of the executive producers just hit you with his car and you're on the ground mangling. And he's rolled the window down and gone, guess what? You've got the role. Yeah, yeah.

Sorry, but I'm in casting. So how long ago was this that you did that? This was a few years ago. This was when I was still considered an actor, but I'm not anymore. But yeah, quite a few years ago. Why are you considered an actor anymore? I don't know. I haven't gotten auditions for a little while. That still means you're an actor.

It just means you have a shit-ass agent. Maybe you pissed off Luke McGregor and he made the call and got you off everyone's casting list. Maybe. God damn him. Yeah, no, I did a few things and I was in City Homicide and I got to play a murderer. I was in the Pacific and stuff like that. Typecast for you.

I know. And then, yeah... Hang on. The person you murdered, was it your stepdad? No. I just thought that was going to be the role. No, it was my mum's mistress. Oh, of course. No, sorry, my dad's mistress. And my actual mum was Marina Pryor.

And I got to be interviewed by Noni Hazlehurst. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Were you in the show or is this a dream? No, it's true. This sounds like a dream I've had. Yeah, it is. Because I'd only ever seen Noni Hazlehurst on Play School. And then all of a sudden she was sitting across from me in an interrogation room being all mean.

I'm like, what the fuck is happening? Just when you said you got it wrong and you said you killed your mum's mistress, man, that would be a way more interesting episode. Such a good episode, wouldn't it? It would still be on the air today. If only. You just got banned from being homophobic, just killing any gay actors on the screen.

Yeah, they didn't want that anymore. So getting back to your recent foray into Neighbours, Josh, what's the latest with it? Has it happened? It's coming down the pipe. What's going on? It's still, because we had to send through the scripts, and they're still very keen, but they're just like...

They're taking offence against some forms of cake that you've got in your lyrics. Now, I can't do the song because it's just too hard to film, they said, and cut in and out. If you just do one-liner jokes. Right. song because it's just too hard to film, they said. Right. And cut in and out. If you just do one-liner jokes. Right. Do they realise it's too hard to film?

Do they realise that the pitch is not for you to do a full music video? You're just going to stand there and play a guitar. So hopefully it's going to happen at the end of the year. That's so exciting. That's so cool. Because you know what's interesting about that is that how, you know, on Australian TV at the moment, there's sort of not really anywhere to do stand-up. And I was saying this to you during the Comedy Festival. on Australian TV at the moment, there's sort of not really anywhere to do stand-up. No. And I was saying this to you during the comedy festival.

Wouldn't it be amazing if the big TV stand-up gig just became Neighbours? If they just once a week, they just all pop down to Lasseter's to go watch a bit of comedy. Yeah, Sam Simmons. You run gigs. You run gigs around Melbourne, Carl. Why don't you hit them up? Yeah. Carl Chandler can open a night at Lasseter's.

Lasseter's. Comedy at Lasseter's. Comedy Hut. Tuesday night. That's the gap in your week's schedule of gigs that you run. Well, Sam Simms has been on. Josh Earl's on now. Fleety's been on.

McGregor's banned, obviously. No, but I mean not just like stand-ups doing a role. I mean doing stand-up. Doing stand-up. Probably doing. Well, it needs something like that, doesn't it? Neighbours is kind of dying in this country. You don't get put on the show again.

All of a sudden it's dying. It's got a second wind, I'm telling you. It's still massive in the UK, though. You're going to go over there. It's just going to be like, oh my god! Yeah, it's timed nicely with my Edinburgh round. Now that it's moved onto a TV station that about 80% of households do not have, yeah, it's really, it's killing it.

I've been re-watching the TV show, just what you were saying about City Homicide, been re-watching the TV show, just what you're saying about City's Homicide, been re-watching the TV show The Shield, which is like a great cop drama. And, you know, every episode they've got a murderer. And it just, that is the one acting role I would love to do. I would love to play just a heinous sex pest. I'd love to play a really, really bad dude that definitely did it. That's like my dream gig.

That'd be so good. You are never going to get that gig. Oh, why not? You don't look like the guy that does that. Not only are you bagging me out, but you're not even making eye contact. You're texting someone while you're hanging shit on me. No, I'm not. This is horrendous.

I was just Googling. I was actually Googling. Sex pest. That's fine. You know why I was Googling? I'll tell you why I was Googling just then. Because I was so slow on trying to make a joke before. Because you were talking about the last of this comedy club.

I was actually Googling to get the facts behind making this joke. I messed up. I went through the wrong person. I got confused and I was trying to get onto Alf Stewart to play down at the Home and Away pub. That was my joke. I was trying to make that joke. But what part of you thought by the time you got to it, how did you think you were ever going to get back around to that?

Well, then I thought maybe if I explained what I was doing, it would be really sweet. It'll never work. I was wrong. I was wrong. I admit it. Guess what? Just gotten word in from the editing suite, this bit's staying in.

How do you like them apples? Yeah. I've been told to start The Shield. I just finished Spooks, which is the second ever television series that I've finished beginning to end. Really? It's a big moment, isn't it? It's, I'm actually really sad.

I feel a bit lost. You never watched The White Room? That was, uh. No, it's been that and Sex and the City for some reason. I am, I got stuck on that. Well, cause I saw the movies and hated them with a vengeance. Hated them. Hang on.

You'd, you had never seen the show. Yeah. And I'd never seen the series and I saw with a vengeance, hated them. Hang on. You had never seen the show. Yeah, and I'd never seen the series and I saw these movies. You saw them. That seems like a very odd way of living your life. Yeah, well, they were so horrible, but all these women still loved the series. I was like, I have to see this and see what has gone wrong here or if I'm just missing it or if the rest of society is missing it. Or if you aren't a woman.

Yeah, well, that was what I was worried about. Yeah. Sitting down with your parents. Oh, what have you been up to, Tegan? Oh, I've gone through all the sex in the city and, you know, women generally really like it, but I just can't, I just don't get it. I don't like it. Well, I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you that you were

actually born as a man. What that big penis-shaped thing is. A penis. born as a man. I'll tell you what that big penis shaped thing is. A penis. I find it strange that you've not seen a series from beginning to end before. Well, yeah, that's the only two that I've done now. I picked you just from your work with your comedy troupe, The Hound, that you're a bit

of a sci-fi person. So I thought you would have seen Battlestar Galactica or one of those series. I did. I started watching that. I lost it a little way there. Doctor Who I used to really like, but then the fans actually. You can't watch that all the way through. What?

That goes forever. You're only like 23 years old. You haven't had time to watch it. Yeah. Oh, really? I find it strange that you'd never seen Sex and the City. Yeah. I don't know.

I just missed it. You know how sometimes you can just miss things? Like the other day, my sister found out that tadpoles turn into frogs and was genuinely surprised by that. And she just must have missed that one day at kindergarten where you learn that one song. I feel like that was two weeks of kindergarten. I don't know. How old's your sister? She's 27. Oh my God. 27! I know. And you've got another sister that just found out that tadad Pulse turned into Miranda.

That would combine the two, you know, because Miranda's in Sex and the City. Get it. That's a joke. Didn't even have to Google it. That was straight off the top of the dome. That was good. Couldn't remember Al Stewart's name, but Miranda. Yeah, I was staring blankly at you for a little while, but now I see how good it is.

Maybe you guys switched genders at birth somehow. I've watched it a lot because of my girlfriend. So I've seen nearly everything, I would think. I haven't seen the second movie, though. Okay, well, maybe that's it. Maybe you just need a girlfriend. Oh, you've watched it already? Yeah, I've watched it.

Your step-mum's mistress has probably saw Sex and the City. Probably, yeah. It is a big moment, though, because I never finished a university degree or anything, and I feel like finishing a TV series is the closest I'll ever get to any kind of accomplishment of seeing something through to the end. But then just the emptiness, because it becomes every night of the week you're watching a couple of episodes, just at the end you're like, so do I kill myself now? Because I don't know what else I do.

And you can start a new series, but you watch the first episode or something the end you're like, so do I kill myself now? Because I don't know what else I do. And, you know, you can start a new series, but you watch the first episode or something and you're like, who are these assholes? I just want to see me mates from The Shield again. And it's kind of, I mean, this wasn't the case with Sex and the City, but Spooks doesn't necessarily end on a high note. You know, it's a fabulous, very intelligent ending. I don't think you have to point out that there's differences

between Spooks and Sex and the City. I don't think anyone was thinking that. That never comes up in the other customers also bought this item when you're checking out at Amazon. What about Josh Earle? We're talking about you being on TV. What about your other bit of news in the world of showbiz? You might be working

on a TV show very shortly. Maybe not on air. Oh, I'm doing a bit of warm-up. Yeah. Here we go. On what show? Everybody Dance Now. Yes! Classic Josh Earle.

Yes! So how many train cakes can you bring in to divide up to the audience? Because it's a big audience, so that'd take quite a few cakes. I think they've got me because I have a history of dance. I haven't talked about this on the air. You've got a history of dance? Yeah. I have a history of dance, hyphen, hyphen.

I haven't talked about this on the air, have I? I very rarely bring it up, but I used to dance for the dance company, Taz Dance, a professional dance company. Oh, my God. Wow. I was in a production called Fish Fingers. No, I don't think you've talked about this on the show before. I haven't seen all of that series yet.

How has it passed me by? When I was 17. I mean, now that you're mentioning this, you do have a dancer's physique. I don't know how I've never noticed that before. Yeah, I can cut a rug. And I was, it was. I cannot wait. Just by the way, I cannot wait for this show to be over just to say,

can you dance now? I'm not doing it. But I was in a production and it was all like 17, 18-year-olds. It was like 20 of us and it was about the sea and science and stuff like that. It was this weird kind of. Just your normal things you usually dance about. But what the costumes were, I had to be dressed. I was like, it was under the water.

So they put bubble wrap around us, stitched it up. Yeah. And then with the bubbles, they injected jelly, like got a syringe and injected jelly. What? Then let it set. So like scales. So we had to wear and do that so it would all fit and work. And then they took them off us and then we rehearsed for like two weeks.

Then we went back to them and got in. And then the first performance, we were rolling on the ground and all the bubble wrap just popped. That's weird. I wouldn't have thought that would have happened. Jelly all over the floor. So for the first show, it was just like 27, 18-year-olds just rolling around in jelly.

And someone had individually put a syringe into each bubble. But they had the syringe full of jelly, then squeezed it in so it would set into the bubble. But like every tiny little bubble that had... Every single bubble, yeah. Haven't they ever heard of sequins? God, just glue gun, done. Even sticking fish to your body would be easier than that. Wow, so how's Taz Dance going?

Are they still? They're still doing stuff. I haven't. They're still pumping out warm-up men for Melbourne. If you've got your thing, if you've got your internet here, have a look at the TazDance. I'm on there and they say, now a famous comedian in quotation marks. So you go back every now and then and give talks about, you know,

these are the dizzying heights that you can reach. Yeah, you can do a podcast in 10 years, guys. You work really hard. Wouldn't it be great? I was just thinking, like, if there was, like, so beyond just doing your stand-up gig on Neighbours, if they had, like, to sizzle it up, if they had Josh Earl Week, where it's like they go down to the pub, you're there doing stand-up,

they go to watch the dancing show, you're there, the warm-up guy, they get a tour of a local radio station, you're in there stand-up. They go to watch the dancing show. You're there, the warm-up guy. They get a tour of a local radio station. You're in there recording a podcast. They go and see the crippled girl, and I'm there helping her out. Hey, look, your legs are moving. She was in the pool all along. Oh, me cake fell in the pool. Oh, wow, that is so good.

So what's this new dance show? What is it? It's Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child. Right. Are you going to? It's Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child. Right. Are you going to get to meet Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child? One step away from Beyonce. Wow. Two steps away from Jay-Z.

Yeah. And Jason Derulo, who I don't really know. And so it's just another who's the best dancer thing. It's more of a battle. Ooh. It's a dance battle. Oh, that's exciting. So there might be violence in the crowd. You might have to. It's more of a battle. Ooh. It's a dance battle. Oh, that's exciting. Oh, so there might be violence in the crowd.

You might have to. I might be going, whoa. Yeah. Yeah, right. Awesome. Eminem style. It sounds great. How's that other show that's starting up, that Priscilla one?

Yeah. Man, that looks just incredible. Are you on that? Is that why you're bringing it up? Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing one more for it. I'm the obvious choice to warm up a Priscilla audience. Yeah.

Are we bringing that up because I'm doing work for it or not? Are you? Are you serious? Oh, is that the one you're doing work for? Yes. Oh, okay. I didn't know that. I'm going tomorrow.

Yeah, right. I'm flying to Sydney tomorrow to do some work for it. Oh, I didn't know that. Because all you said was it's some drag thing, which I could be. Oh, there's so many shows on TV like that these days. Oh, you didn't even say it was a TV thing. There's so many shows on TV like that. Oh, you didn't even say it was a TV thing.

I think, I don't know if I'm allowed, if I'm supposed to say this, but I believe, oh man, I've been told so little about it. I believe I'm writing stand up for drag queens. Great. Yeah. That'd be great fun. Not Jason Donovan. He's one of the hosts, isn't he? Yeah.

So he doesn't have to compete. Yeah. So I believe I'm doing stand upup for drag queens, which, yeah. I don't know. I guess I can. I mean, you're the go-to guy. You're the obvious choice for that. Yeah, exactly.

I do that so often. So I'll just use some of the B-sides I don't usually use myself when I'm dressed up as a woman on stage. Yeah. It'd be great if they made you do gigs in full drag. Yeah. If I write and they go. Just to get into the mind space. No. Like, if you come back and you're like, I tried and I just couldn't do it and I just It would be great if they made you do gigs in full drag. Just to get into the mind space.

You come back and you're like, I tried and I just couldn't do it and I just, you know what, I'm going on at Spleen tonight in full kit. No, they would say, how do we know this gear works? You've got to try it out yourself. So then I have to drag up. Oh, man. Carl Lotta's wonderful boys. Carl Lotta Chandler. And you know, now that we've brought this up,

that now means that out there somewhere there's a parallel universe where that's actually happening already. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. We've created it. We've created the possibility, man. So if you are from that parallel universe, email us in and let us know how it was.

And unfollow Luke McGregor. No, follow him because over there in that universe, he's like all powerful. Yeah, fair enough. Talks about the show all the time. He has no Twitter policy. He'll retweet you, he'll follow you, he'll plug you. What a world. He doesn't have time because he's knee-deep in the ladies. Yeah, exactly.

What about this? I'll talk about this, which is I went, I've talked about the training that I've been doing in previous episodes. We've been, my girlfriend and I have been running for quite a while. And previous episodes I've talked about how she has struggled in the past with the running and screaming while she's been running. And, you know, when we started, she was screaming after like 1500 meters, which is, you know,

a bit silly. But anyway, we did 10 kilometers today together, which was great. Yeah. And she was very good. You did that for an event. It was a marathon silly. But anyway, we did 10km today together, which was great. Really good. Yep, and she was very good at it. You did that for an event. It was a marathon thing. Yeah, sorry. You didn't just do it. No. Yeah. No. No, we did it for the Age Fun Run. The Age something. Isn't it the Run Melbourne? Yes, Run Melbourne. Run Melbourne.

So that was... To hell with the Age, because they're going out of that's good. It's very good of you to come in. And it was just a paper route. That would not have been 10K. Yeah, I just did from the city to Hawthorne. Yeah, it's a paper route, but you're just going into people's houses and installing the iPad app for them and then running onto the next house. Yep.

Telling them what Oslo overheard and then running to the next house. No, so that was good. But, you know, you brought up wheelchairs today. So you can, I don't want to. Oh, here we go. I don't want to. I'm not trying to be offensive. I'm not trying to say the wrong thing on purpose.

Is Diane in a wheelchair now? She's not. She's not. But we did the running, you know, gets a bit cramped up and everything. There was a lot of people. I think there was 10,000 people in our race, in the 10 kilometre race. Now, people were in wheelchairs. There were people in wheelchairs competing, and that's fine.

You know, they're allowed to do that. That's very big of you. Yeah. I don't mind saying it. I don't mind saying it. They've earned the right. But I'm pretty sure today. I've just got a call from the edit suite coming through here.

Should I take this or should I leave it? No, no, no, no. I've got stuff to say. These guys have had it too good for too long. And they're calling back again. Why do the switchboards lit up? We don't even have a switchboard. This is a first.

The switchboard's invented itself and then lit itself up. It's materialized from that other world. And even in that world, they're worried right now. There's someone in drag that looks like me yelling out, no. Yeah, yeah. In that world, you're not telling the story. So they're like, we don't need this swift port. You guys can have it.

I'll just say this. Look, I got stuck behind a guy in a wheelchair, and it took me a while to get around. And look, it was on like a, what's it called, like a paperclip bit of the road. So we had to run up and then sharp turn and then come back. And look, by the time I overtook him and went up and came back, I'm not 100%, but I'm 95%.

That guy had taken the shortcut. Oh, wow. Yeah. He just slipped straight in. I overtook him and then I came back and he's in front of me. Now, look, I don't know. I don't think that's the right thing to do. In a way, you could say he already had an advantage by having the wheels.

Yeah, he's had a lucky life so far. And then he stayed in the shortcut. Tell us more about Sex and the City. Was there a separate track for them, though? No. I don't know if you can do a wheelchair track. Yeah. There was a bit on for them though? No. I don't know if you can do a wheelchair track. Yeah. There was a bit on the track that had steps.

You go, okay, you guys take the other way. To be fair, there's a chance there were two different people that I just sort of think they all looked sunny. But I'm pretty sure he did do it. Is that right? I feel like everyone's on edge, like you're not allowed to say anything. So basically he's cheating. You're accusing the guy in the wheelchair of cheating.

Yes, yes. Okay. I am. Who is he cheating, though, Carl? Yourself. Yeah. He probably took a few seconds off my time because I had to get around him again the second time. I don't think that's fair.

I think I've been harshly done by. Did anyone else witness this? Did you dob him in? You dobbed him in, didn't you? I should have told you. Well, he's got a number on him. I harshly done by. Did anyone else witness this? Did you dob him in? You dobbed him in, didn't you? Well, he's got a number on him. I should have done that. Strip him of his little gold medal at the end. Take down his red joke.

Yeah. Like, add 30 seconds to his time or whatever it is. Like, he probably could have beaten me. That's not fair. They should ban him from future events. Yeah. They should kick him from future events. Yeah. They should kick him out of that wheelchair. He has to earn that wheelchair back.

They should chuck him into a pool Tegan Higginbotham style. Yes, exactly. Where he'll get batted off furiously. And he'll never appear on Age Fun Run again. Run Melbourne. But no, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the run. You know what? The other thing with those fun runs that you see on- It doesn't sound like you enjoyed it much But no, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the run. You know what? The

other thing with those fun runs that you see on- It doesn't sound like you enjoyed it much. No, it was good. It sounds like an ordeal. That was an inconvenience. I wasn't happy with. But the rest of it was good. You know, 10K, it was good. And you get to be part of something. There's like a whole, you know, thousands of people you're in the middle of and it's like, they push you along. I wasn't sure how well we were going to do. We did very well.

How long did it take you to get just past the start line? Oh, yeah, like 20 minutes. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, because you've got to get it. Because it's staggered. Yeah. Oh, okay.

I did one in Burnie. They have one, the Burnie 10, where I'm from in Tassie. And it took me three minutes just to get over the start line. Right. And I was very annoyed. Oh, because if they start it, because when you do the ones in Melbourne, there's a little sensor thing that you tie on you. So it actually only starts timing you from when you hit that line.

So patronising. This is the Tasmanian boy. We have computers up here, Josh. You probably don't even have dudes in wheelchairs down there. Yeah. I wish I was in that. I wish I was in the burning line. At the finish line, you've probably just got a bird with a slate

and a bit of chisel just knocking out your time onto that. Yeah, the guy in the wheelchair has to pick it up and carry it Fred Flintstone style. It's not good. Did you do what I do, though? Because whenever I finish anything like that, I haven't done a marathon in a while, but I just eat ridiculously after it. You do the slightest thing good and then you undo it for the rest of the day.

We did eat a lot today. It was the wrong thing to do. I don't think we were really set up for it. I think that was the wrong order to do things. I've got more complaints about it. There's people in costumes, which is also stupid. What kind of costumes?

There was a dude that overtook me which I wasn't happy with. Wheelchairs. Yeah. Yeah. He was dressed as a cripple. There was Pikachu. There was like Pokemon there. What?

I do not want to run with Pikachu. No, but that's the thing. You can see them at the start line. They all look funny and people are standing next to them laughing going, oh, look at this guy. But then I like seeing them like 8k in when they're so miserable and you see this guy dressed as a pikachu as a pokemon running along but like his face is just thunder he's like wanting to neck himself that was the good bit but this so like why 10k is hard enough why would you

dress need i remind you you did sign yourself up for a fun run, okay? Next year, keep an eye out for the Herald Sun's miserable asshole run and go and do that instead. And I will dress as me. That is strange. Like, that's, you know, it's not Comic-Con. You know, I know that's on at the same time. That's on in America at the moment. Maybe there's just a bunch of people who wish they could have gone to Comic-Con.

What's the big event coming up right now? A fun run. Oh, okay. I'll go as Dexter. That'll be good. It does look ridiculous how unhappy they are within the costume because it's always like Pokemon or fairy princesses or a dog or something very...

A dog, the least creative costume. Were they people who looked like they were a little bit athletic? Like, did they look kind of generally athletic? Do you know what I mean? Like, they could have been doing really well if they weren't in the costume? Yeah. Or was it just like, you know, literally they're just there to muck around and it's probably going to take them ages to finish anything.

No, that was the thing. They were like shattered. Like 8K in, they were like really, like had been going really hard, but they just happened to look like absolute dickheads. But that's the other thing. So it's a paid thing. Like, you have to pay to run, basically.

Yes. So you've got to pay to be in the race and whatever. So we were running along. People stop after 1,500 metres. Like, we were having to run around people. People were walking after 1.5K. Oh, really? That's ridiculous.

That is a bit strange. Why pay to go in and then stop 1,500 metres in? Yeah. You could also argue, though, why pay to do it at all because it's just running a distance. Yes. The age don't own the rights to that. Yeah. But I would rather just go and walk around in the CBD.

Does the money go to charity or whatever is it goes to a charity or whatever? Maybe they just, you know, want to put in and, you know, they don't really care. It does go, yeah, it does go to charity. Because you see, you also see people running along with T-shirts or signs on their T-shirts saying, I'm running to defeat MS. I'm running to defeat cancer. Oh, so they get sponsorship on top of what they put in. Is that what they do? Well, yeah, I think they look for sponsors.

But I don't know. Do you ever hear of, you know, these big diseases never get cured, right? Has there ever been a big disease that gets cured? Polio. Has there? Polio. Was that because of a fun run? You are taking no prisoners.

Something's changing you in the middle of saying that. Where everyone was silent and because we're recording this at night, I think you think you're the spoon man all of a sudden. Something's clicked over in your brain. Well, that would be awesome. You're shouting. Every sentence you say is shouted. That would be awesome if something, like if cancer was cured,

and then at the end they go, and the thing that broke cancer's back was. The run. Chandler, Carl Chandler of Hawthorne, Australia. He did run from Flinders Street Station to Punt Road, and that really did get us over the line. That 26 bucks, that was it. And you being dressed as Scooby-Doo, that was just a bonus. Did you have, you know, you were saying

People had t-shirts saying I'm running for MS Did you always just say I'm running for Getting those smug assholes in their wheelchairs To play by the same rules that the rest of us have to follow I was running with a t-shirt that said I'm running to find excuses to complain about stuff on my podcast tonight And you got extra money for that Yeah Tegan, we mentioned your comedy festival show to complain about stuff on my podcast tonight. And you got extra money for that.

Tegan, we mentioned your comedy festival show. Now, your show, for people that perhaps aren't familiar with your work or are outside of Melbourne, was a show about you doing boxing. Yeah, I had my very first pro rules fight last year on the 17th of November. Yes, that's awesome. Yeah, it was really good. It was really scary, but yeah, it was good.

Yes. Because I haven't talked about it. Considering you wrote an hour show about that experience, you got one sentence out of it? No, I didn't. Punch drunk, punch drunk. I didn't lead into my follow-up sentence. Please do that show now for us.

Oh, great. Okay, so guys. Because I've started doing boxing recently, I think I told you this the other day. Oh, how are you finding it? Yes, you did. Getting beat up isn't the same. And you're not allowed to do the same as her in Punch Girls, so guys. Because I've started doing boxing recently, I think I told you this the other day. Yes, you did. Getting beat up isn't the same. And you're not allowed to do the same as her in Punch Girls, so.

No, I'm enjoying it. It's good. Although our trainer is kind of this weird guy where he's too nice. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, you see, the ones that I worked with were mental and they'd yell at you. But I think that's kind of what you need. If you're going to hit somebody in the face, you need to be kind of feeling a bit aggressive. Because he like, so it's basically, it's just near our house and it's like really casual.

Like you don't need to book in. You don't buy blocks of lessons. You just rock up and then put 10 bucks in the hat. Just walk in swinging. Yeah, pretty much. Is this a boxing class or is this boxer size? It's like athletic boxing. So it's boxer size. Yeah, pretty much. Is this a boxing class or is this boxercise? Oh, yes. It's like athletic boxing. So it's boxercise. Yeah, for sure.

It's what mums do when their kids get dropped off at school. But there's a couple of dudes, which I'll get to in a minute, there's a couple of dudes in it that are like mega into it. But mostly it's just people. Can you hear Lady Gaga when you're punching people? I hear Lady Gaga when I'm doing everything, Carl. But yeah, it's like, so he, you know, we went along

and he's just started this thing up. So he's like, you know, trying to, you know, build up the business and whatever. And so he's really like when we went for the first time, he was like, thanks, guys. Thanks so much for coming and call us the next day to check up that we had a good time. And when you get there, the first couple of days,

he's like, now, guys, take it easy. You know, if it's your first time, you don't have to go too hard. But then sort of once it gets into the swing of it, you know, then he tries to ramp it up and go, come on, don't slack off. You can go harder than that. You can go harder than that. And you're like, no, no, don't. You don't mean this.

You're a bloody softy. I'm not listening to what you say. You know what I mean? He's like, I want someone to really kick my ass, and he doesn't really do it. He doesn't do it for you? Yeah. Well, he needs to sort of establish whether he's going to be a nice guy or a bad guy.

Yeah. He's sending mixed messages. Yeah, I just want him to bash me in the car park or something. Really make me. I don't want to give him the money. I want him to just like tackle me down and like physically take it off me one week. Are you having some problems in your relationship or something? Because I'm sensing.

Maybe next week what he'll do is he'll bring in a guy in a wheelchair just to stand in front of you during the class. I'll be there. I'll be there. I found that when I was boxing doing the heavy training, the girls were intense because they'd really go for your head. But the guys who were always a bit tentative about hitting the girls, they'd just end up hitting you in the boobs lots. They didn't want to go for your face.

They'd just be constantly kind of go for your chest but miss. Yeah, it was really horrible. So I prefer. Mate, probably were aiming. your chest but miss. And it was, yeah, it was really horrible. So I prefer. Mate, probably were aiming. I'm so sure. Was it open hands as well? Because that's not punching. I was told it was a training style.

Well, there was another week where my girlfriend didn't go, man, she's not committed to this at all, where I got paired up with a girl and in between, you know, exercise or whatever, we were doing a thing of like you have to just try and tag each other on the shoulder. Oh, yeah. And, man, that was a minefield to do that with a girl who I didn't know.

I reckon there were at least, there would have been double digits of accidental boob touching for both of us. Is that a given when you do it as a girl? I think so. Yeah, I mean when... Do you just have to forget that you've got those and you just, it's just open slather with everywhere? If you're professional fighting, for an actual fight, you have to wear a chest plate because

there is that risk of getting breast cancer if you get hit hard enough in the boot. Oh, really? Yeah. So you actually have to have- Unless you're a Taiwanese female boxer, then you've got to strap your cock down. Did you see? But I mean- I did see Susie Q Ramadan kicked her ass.

It was great. But the good news for female boxers is that Carl's going to do another fun run in a couple of months and that money they get from that is going to cure breast cancer. Well, I want to cure paraplegia first so I don't have to run against those people anymore. Those people? What were you saying about the Taiwanese boxer, Josh? Oh, front page of the paper. Susie Q Ramadan, who's, I think, yeah, she's a really great pro boxer.

Australian champion or something like that, yeah. Yeah, she just had a big fight at the Melbourne Pavilion the other day against, I don't remember what the other- Some Taiwanese woman who's got three times the testosterone of a normal woman. It was unbelievable. I saw the photos and I really had to be double checking that this wasn't some, I feel horrible, but some novelty fight where Susie Q. was fighting a guy. This girl was amazing. But Susie won, which is fabulous for Susie because she's really dedicated and wonderful,

so that's good. So what made you get into boxing in the first place? I'd always been interested in it. I watched things like Rocky when I was little and just went, there's something in this that I really like. And then, I don't know, it just all came together. I found a place that was going to train me up to have an actual fight. The time felt right. So yeah, it just all came together. I found a place that was going to train me up to have an actual fight. The time felt right.

So, yeah. And I got hit lots. That'd be cool if you followed that and ended up fighting Mr. T. Just went right through. But I've got to decide. They're setting up another challenge thing where there'll be another fight in November and I think I need to decide in the next couple of weeks if I want to fight again. Oh, yeah.

So, have you fought since the... No, not since. So, I had the fight in November and I kept training for a little while. And then during Comedy Festival, everything just dropped and I got really unhealthy again. Oh, yeah. So have you fought since the... No, not since. So I had the fight in November and I kept training for a little while. And then during Comedy Festival, everything just dropped and I got really unhealthy again. Right. So I've started trying to get fit again. And yeah, I still don't know whether I want to fight again. You should do it again.

I mean, you know, the first show, successful Comedy Festival season. Hello, sequel. Exactly. Sequels are always better than the first one. Yeah. In this one, you can actually beat Apollo Creed. Yes. That's the thing. I would like to win. I did. Yeah. In this one, you can actually beat Apollo Creed. Yes. That's the thing.

I would like to win. I did. Yeah. I would like to win the fight. Because you only fought once. I've only fought once. Yeah. Yeah.

And. I think you should. You should fight Daslo because I think you'd be a big chance. Yeah. There was this talk for a while. Of getting your fucking clock clean. Yeah. Wow.

Wow. See, that's just the kind of anger that I've got in reserve. 24, 24-7, mate. There was talk a little while ago. I don't remember which comic had this idea. But of having a comedy smackdown. So you can both get your clock cleaned? That's a good title.

That was it. But no, about having this comedy smackdown of like setting up comics to fight each other. I don't really think who it was. Probably plenty of people out the front of the Hi-Fi Party comedy festival. That would be great if you did a sequel to it because your first show was called Million Dollar Tegan. If you did the sequel to Million Dollar Tegan and just called it

Rocky II. I really want to now. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. Or just call it Billion Dollar Tegan. Subhead, she's gotten better. Maybe we can do a double act show and we can punch on at the end of it. That would be good.

I'd like to do that. We'll set it up in a ring and everything. It'll be good. Great. The fourth one you get a robot. That's pretty cool. And then years and years later your son dies of an overdose. That's unfortunate.

Topical. And years and years later, your son dies of an overdose. Oh, that's unfortunate. Topical. Hey, Josh, you were telling us something about your half-sister at the start of the show. At the start you said you've got anything to talk about. I've never mentioned this on air and I've only kind of just started talking about it, but you've mentioned you've got sisters,

you've got a brother and you're an only child. Well, I'm a fan of only brothers, but I've got two half-sisters, and both their names are Katrina. Whoa. Wow. Yeah, so that's pretty. Spelled the same way and everything? Was one of your half-sisters boxing the other night?

Were they half-sister, half-brother? Is that how you found out? Yeah. So my dad was with a woman before he met my mum. They didn't get married, but they had a kid. That's it. That's outside the story. When he was 16, he knocked my mum. They didn't get married, but they had a kid. That's it. That's outside the story. When he was 16, he knocked a girl up, didn't realise.

She went back to Bundaberg where she lived. Bundy. Adopted the kid out because that's what you did back then. You didn't have... In Bundaberg. In Bundaberg, yeah. Anyway, so on my dad's 40th birthday, we get a knock on the door and it's this young woman there going, does John L live here because I think you're my father.

It was on his 40th birthday as well. Did she intend for that or was that just? Yeah, I had no idea. Do you live in a TV show? It gets even weirder. Then we were like, did you do warm-up for this TV show? I think your dad did some of the warm-up 20 odd years ago. So you think you can fuck

Okay get them to win it Because then we're like Oh okay I got one more Was your dad dressed as a woman While he was doing it Yay Dang

And he batted off inside this woman Yeah Oh Yeah it's that kind of attention to detail And dexterity that you can expect In the ring Tegan Oh what Sex

What Then we were like Okay what's your name And she said Katrina Oh, what? Sex. What? Then we were like, okay, what's your name? And she said, Katrina. Oh, we've already got a half sister called Katrina. Oh, that's weird. And we were talking about where do you live? She's like, I live on the Gold Coast.

I'm like, oh, we were up there a couple of years ago as a family. Where do you work? I work at Ripley's, believe it or not. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The next level, though, Tommy, is, wow, we went there as a family. The night we went there, there was this crazy bag lady who was throwing all the stuff around inside of me. She had to be kicked out.

She goes, I worked that night. Oh, my God. And then we got out our family video, and there we were. She was taking our money from us all. Oh, God. So we met her. I thought you were going to say. She was the met her. I thought you were going to say. She was the bag lady.

I thought you were going to say we went there and Dad did go to the toilet for five minutes. We went there and we saw this crazy goat that had three heads. Yeah, that was me before the surgery. That's amazing. Is she nice? She met us, kind of went, that's all right. There's no weird medical history things. I'm happy with that.

Good luck. That was it. Wow. That's all she medical history things. I'm happy with that. Good luck. That was it. Wow. That's all she wanted to do. That could have been done with a phone call. You didn't even hit her up for free entry to Ripley's Believe It or Not, you idiot. What are you going to keep there? This can be part of the Neighbours Tour.

That's going to be it. I could have been tapping on the glass when people go there, the two-way glass. How old was she? She's older than us. Dad was 16. He's now. So she'd be 40 now. Wow.

Oh, wow. Holy hell. Yeah. Hang on. She's 40, but it was your dad's 40th. Hang on. Yeah, but this was like 18 years ago when she met us. Okay.

Yeah. So I was 12. Yeah. When he said that he had a family video from Ripley's Believe It or Not, they're not going there like last week or anything. For your 29th birthday, Josh, we're going to go. Believe it or not, this is your 29th birthday present. Hang on.

Tegan was going to say something nice then. I was. I was going to say that you look very immature. No, young. Oh, there you go. Young. Mine was better. So it was your mum.

That's a big, you know, that's a big thing for your mum to handle. It happened before she was on the scene. Yeah. So it wasn't like, you can't be angry about that. It's like, yeah, if she came in and said, I want all this money and your life's going to be ruined, I think mum would be pissed off then.

15% of all roadshow earnings from you, Josh. Give me that sweet cake money. 15% of every cake that you make from now on. Wow. Yeah, that's remarkable. Do you feel weird that she's now walked back out of your life? Yeah. Nah.

Really? I've got another half-sister who I'm not close with at all. So it's all had to me by now. So I kind of know what it could be like. It could be, you know, we're friendly to each other and we speak on, on like Christmas and that's about it. How do you feel towards your dad?

Are you sort of impressed that he's sort of done that at age 16 or is that bad or? I don't know. That makes me think of my dad doing it. So yeah. But your dad, young dad. Young dad. Yeah. Look.

I've met your dad and I kind of see it now. Yeah. You met him at my wedding and he cracked onto a friend of mine, Liz, and said, if I was 10 years younger, like he's 56, like Liz is 30. Oh, wow. If this was 15 years ago, you'd be working in a weird amusement park. If I was 10 years younger, I'd have a kid who was 19. Yeah, you could be working at that piping hot store in Gold Coast right now.

If this was 30 years ago, you could be working in Grundy's in 10 years' time. Grundy's. Grundy's. Remember that? I know the name, but I don't remember what it was. They had something to do with... They made lots of TV. It was Neighbours.

No. Yeah, Grundy's. Was it? Grundy's had something to do with Neighbours, definitely. Yeah, Grundy's did as a production company as well. I was thinking of the bus line. No. Yeah, Grundy's. Was it? Grundy's had something to do with Neighbours, definitely. Yeah, Grundy's did as a production company as well. I don't know if it was. I'm thinking of the bus line. No, no, no, no.

There was an amusement park at the Gold Coast called Grundy's. Oh. Yeah, do you not know that? No. You probably wouldn't. Yeah. I remember we went to Queensland as a kid. So snide.

As a kid. You wouldn't. Well, I don't know. At the time, I remember it was a known thing. It closed in a long time ago. What is this? Like the Queensland Gumbaya Park or something like that? I don't really know what G time, I remember it was a known thing. It closed in a long time ago. What is this, like the Queensland Gumbaya Park or something like that? I don't really know what Gumbaya Park is.

Whoa. Gumbaya Park's this shit little quote unquote theme park that's kind of like out in country where the city meets the country. Yeah. And it's just like there's a bobsled, which is like the most exciting thing. There's a big bird out the front that got burnt down a couple of years ago. Well, back then there was Dream World and there's Magic Mountain and then there was Grundy's. Wow.

And Grundy's was all indoor. It was like a theme park, but on the third floor of an apartment building or something. Amazing. Yeah. This would be great if you now, like the only reason Grundy's is in your memory at all, you just flash back to yourself there when you were a kid and the whole day you're trying to go on rides and there's a kid in a wheelchair just in front of you for the whole day. Actually, I was eight, but I do remember making love to a woman there.

On the ghost train. Such a gentleman when you were eight. You made love. You didn't fuck her. You made love with her. Yeah. I didn't learn to fuck until much later. I was very gentle at eight.

Grundy's. No, I thought... Grundy's has the ring of like a department store, like a Brash's or Dimeroo. Yeah, much later. I was very gentle at eight. Grundy's. No, I thought, Grundy's has the ring of like a department store, like a Brash's or Dimeroo. Yeah, yeah, but it was. It was weird though. I think I might have been part of Channel 7 or something, but I remember there was Magic Mountain and Dreamworld, but they were like, I think I was a bit too young to go on big rides. Yeah.

So it was like, I'll go there and there's the ghost train and there's Whack-A-Mole or whatever there was. And I think there was like go-karts and stuff like that. So. Why is it that only stuff that's out of business has funny names? Do you know what I mean? Like Grundy's, Brash's, Dimeroo, they're all like funny names. Demi's is pretty stupid.

Demi's is pretty good but like if Myers went out of business tomorrow, Myers would never be a comedy reference. I think Safeway is better than Woolworths. I don't know. As a store or as a funny name? The name. No, but they should have just stayed Woolworths. I don't know. As a store or as a funny name? The name. No, but they should have just stayed with Safeway. I don't know.

In Tasmania, it was called Rolfos. Oh, yes. I remember seeing that. Yeah. It's like the colours are the same, but it's spelled. I like that in Tasmania they went, Safeway, Woolworths? That's not going to play in Oba. Nah, up in Launceston, they won't get that.

Brash's. Brash's is my favourite of the defunct stores. That was what? That was the JB Hi-Fi, wasn't it? No, it was like Sanity. Yeah. Okay, okay. Yeah, it was just an average place where you couldn't get much good stuff.

Fitzgerald's was pretty good. Do you have Fitzgerald's here? No. Harris Scarf No Harris Scarfe Harris Scarfe still exists Yeah but Fitzgerald's Was taken over by Harris Scarfe In Tassie

So I just thought Maybe it was Fitzgerald's before Wow it is just Anarchy down there Filmani pies You get there mate No okay Oh boy

I like Tasmania I went down there for gigs Not very long ago I like it Yeah You were there for two days, weren't you? Yeah. Did I talk about this on the show before?

It was in Tasmania about the monkeys? Oh, in the park. There we go. Monkey park, yeah. What? There's monkeys in Tasmania? I'll back you up. Yeah.

I like for half of the room, that's like just so taken for granted. Oh, the monkeys in the park. And for the other half, it's gone. Please elaborate. What does this mean? We walk through, if you walk through the park not knowing, you can literally walk through this bit where there's no cage, there's no signage. You just walk through a path and all of a sudden there's monkeys

right in front of you. Oh, my God. Not behind a cage. Wow. There's a tiny little moat, but you can just walk through and go, oh, there's 50 monkeys just there. So you're telling me I can steal a monkey? Yeah. Wow. Free monkeys is tiny little moat, but you can just walk through and go, oh, there's 50 monkeys just there. So you're telling me I can steal a monkey? Yeah.

Wow. Free monkeys is what I'm saying. Now, you were in Thailand recently. Have you not gotten your wires crossed? Just before we go on, though, those monkeys all have chlamydia. Oh, okay. That's all herpes or something. So if you're trying to steal them for sex.

Yeah. If you're a 16-year-old listening to this show and you're going to break in and try and have sex with one of them, do not. Yeah. If you think you're going to have sex with a monkey. No, go back and say it the way you started saying it before. If you think you're going to have a sex with a monkey, then dream about an older monkey knocking on your door 20 years from now.

It's not going to happen. There's a black panther in the Dandenong Ranges, apparently. That is a slut. But people always say there was a thing in Maribor. The government actually put aside funding for it. They did. None of those things happened. I've read about this.

I've read about this. Yeah, yeah. My dad swears to God that he's seen it. No, it didn't happen. He did. Your dad's a liar. Your dad has sweared to God almighty. The big man. Your dad's a liar. Your dad has sweared it to God almighty. The big man.

Your dad had a sex with a puma. Puma? Because that's the myth around Meribor. For years and years and years, there's supposed to be a puma in the bush. No, there's not. Oh, no, no, no, because yours is realistic. Because yours is near rangers. There are deer in my garden, okay?

Oh, that's proof of what? I don't know, that weird animals are in the mountains. Is this deer? I don't reckon there's a panther around. I grew up in Malvern and there was always a rumour around there that Josh Earle's dad was just lurking in the bushes on the outskirts of the southern. Josh Earle populated most of Malvern.

Waiting to jump you in the bushes outside Taronga Station. Well, we do have similar features, Tommy, you and I. Uh-huh. Do we at all? Yeah, we've got small hands. I guess so. We're both pretty little. Oh, you must be brothers.

But they always used to say there's a puma around Maribor. I'm loving the way you pronounce it. Puma? Yeah. What are you supposed to say? Puma? Puma? No, it's a puma.

No, he says puma. Yeah, you're wrong. You're wrong. That's classic Moldvan. I just found out I've been pronouncing almonds wrong all puma. You're wrong. You're wrong. That's classic Malvern. I just found out I've been pronouncing almonds wrong all this time. You've been saying what? Almonds.

Instead of almonds. Almonds. Almonds. Almonds. Almonds. That's weird. Guys, I have brain damage, so just lay off, all right? Don't worry.

We're going to make a fun run for you. Yeah, Pumas in Maribor. We used to have a crazy editor of the newspaper and he would put it on nearly every edition on the front page. Wow. He was obsessed with there being a puma in the bush. And it was supposed to be because there was like a secret SAS camp that was near Maribor in the bush.

Yes. And they just, you know, they did an inventory one time and went, whoops, we're down a puma. And then it just roamed Maribor for the next 20 years apparently. That's awesome. Just feasting on, you for the next 20 years, apparently. That's awesome. Just feasting on smaller tigers and stuff, apparently. Or getting a dollar bag of mixed lollies from the local shops. Yeah, yeah. You and your friends, when you were growing up,

probably just thought it was some crazy person that lived there. Yeah, we called him Puma Head. Here he is, old whiskers. Pumzy. Old Prowsey. He looks just like a puma. Old cat feet. In Tassie, a lot just like a puma. Old Catfeet. In Tassie, a lot of people think they've seen Tassie Tigers.

Yeah. And I had a friend who thought she saw one. We're like, no, they're extinct. They're totally, someone would have found one by now. She's like, no, no. And we're like, all right, tell us what it sounds like. And she's like, it sounded like just a feral dog. And we're like, well, tick, done.

That's what it is. That's what you... That's amazing. Well, guys, that brings us to the end of the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. I want to thank Tegan Higginbotham and Josh Earle very much for joining us. Tegan, you got anything coming up that you would like to plug?

I've got Fringe coming up soon. Oh, you're growing a fringe? Yes. So if you want to come down to the headdresses and watch me do that, that'll be exciting. The Melbourne Fringe Festival? The Melbourne Fringe Festival. And where's your show?

It is at 7.45, 6.45 on Sundays, and I'll be doing the full run at the North Melbourne Town Hall. Is this Million Dollar Tegan or Rocky 2? This is Million Dollar Tegan. Okay, great. But it's an extended and changed edition. I'm going to have footage in there of the actual fight, a bit of material.

Will you punch a live woman at the show? I'll do it if it sells tickets. Yes. All right, well, I'm free. Well footage in there of the actual fight, a bit of material. Will you punch a live woman at the show? I'll do it if it sells tickets. Yes. All right, well, I'm free. Well, there's one. Done. Cool, I'll be able to see that. That's great.

So melbournefringe.com.au. People. What night are you going, Tommy, in case listeners want to come down and sit with you? And punch me. I don't know, maybe midweek, maybe. I don't know. Just stay tuned on Twitter. I think Luke McGregor's going to be on there.

Do not follow Luke McGregor. We cannot stress that enough. Josh Earle, you got things coming up you'd like to? Yeah, I'm on the Gold Coast early August doing the cake show. At Ripley's, believe it or not. At Ripley's, yeah. At the Art Centre there, so that's on a website somewhere. Google website.

Oh, my God. The cake show I've seen recently in Cavendish and other places. Yeah, all around. I'm back doing that later in the year. But then I'm also doing a French show as well. So I'm doing a play with the Lime Champions, which is my radio show that I'm a part of. Awesome. And podcasts that people can listen to?

Yeah, we've got podcasts up. We've also got the show every Monday night from 7 if you want to listen to it. Yep. On Triple R. On Triple R. One, two, three, seven. Yeah. Good.

We should point out that's only in Melbourne. Don't be in Nebraska trying to tune your radio in. If you're in Cincinnati, feel free to listen to that station. You could stream it live. Oh, yeah. Can you? RRR.org. Can you do that?

Yeah. Wow. I don't know. They've got everything these days, don't they? Even though we're a podcast on the internet, I was suddenly surprised that you could get a show on the internet. What have we got? We've got the t-shirts still for sale. We do.

LittleDumbDumbClub at gmail.com. We moved some units in Sydney, but I'm very happy to get rid of the amount that I have in my main room. Yes. I have CDs, stand-up CDs for sale as well that you can get on iTunes or we're happy to post one out to you. Yeah, and that's it. That's all we've got for now, isn't it?

Should we start to sizzle our 100th episode? Okay, let's do that. What's the date? Have we got the date written down in front of us? Oh, that edit suite phone's ringing again. We are going to be, as you may have noticed on the tag for this episode, our 100th episode is fast approaching. We are going to be recording it live at a live show in Melbourne.

I believe the date that we have settled on is Tuesday, August the 14th. Yes. That's going to be a pretty tight squeeze because we've both got a few other things on that we've had to fit that in there on Tuesday. But, yeah, it's going to be great. More details forthcoming, but put that in your diaries. It's going to be, you know, the 100th episode. That's a big deal, isn't it?

It is, yeah. We're going to have good guests. Yeah, yep. Hopefully. It'll be heaps of fun. I've got to tell you all fair about someone that I found out is in town at the time of the show. Anyway, so check that out. Keep in touch with us.

We're on Facebook. We're on Twitter, at DumDumClub. Send us an email, littledumdumclub at gmail.com. Thank you very much for listening, and we will see you next time. See you, mate. Yes. Yeah. What?

Tegan just looked confused. What the fuck was that? Big listener of the show.