The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast - Laser Cats!
Episode Date: May 20, 2024The Lonely Island discuss what it was like creating their digital short, Laser Cats, and how they felt about their success on the show thus far. Plus, Seth talks about his time vying for the Weekend U...pdate Anchor position.Laser Cats!(Not all the clips we mention are available online; some never even aired.) If you want to see more photos and clips follow us on Instagram @thelonelyislandpodSponsors:AirbnbThe Lonely Island Podcast is supported by Airbnb.  Your home might be worth more than you think.  Find out how much at airbnb.com/host BetterHelpThe Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/island  today to get 10% off your first month. VuoriVuori is offering 20% off your FIRST purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at vuori.com/ISLAND.  Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns. LinkedInPost your job for free at LinkedIn.com RESOURCE. Terms and conditions apply. Produced by Rabbit Grin ProductionsExecutive Producers Jeph Porter and Rob HolyszLead Producer Kevin MillerCreative Producer Samantha SkeltonCoordinating Producer Derek JohnsonCover Art by Olney AtwellMusic by Greg Chun and Brent AsburyEdit by Cheyenne JonesMix and Master by Jason Richards
Transcript
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This is going to be a little off the tracks
because Andy is having a cup of coffee
and he is wildly affected by caffeine.
Yeah, I'm on so much jov.
You've always called it jov.
Well, what we've called it is crawdad.
Yeah, we were sipping that crawdad.
That crawdad.
Oh my God, remember, this is SNL related.
Okay. Remember when they opened a blue bottle. Remember, this is SNL related. Okay.
Remember when they opened a blue bottle in the basement of 30 Rock?
Yeah.
Changed my fucking life.
Blue bottle's really good.
Also the blue bottle app.
Shout out to blue bottle, our sponsor guys.
Hopefully.
No, that's not the case.
Oh, well, you don't know.
That was real smooth though.
It was really good.
I was like, oh, must have missed that email.
It's the Lonely Island, Seth Meyers Podcast!
Hey, guys, this is episode eight of the Seth Meyers and Lonely Island Podcast.
Oh, you guys, bad news.
I just had another sip.
Little drummer boy drumming on his drum. Rum-tum-tiddle-um-tum. Bad news. I just had another sip. Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa. Little drummer boy drumming on his drum.
Rum tum tiddleum tum.
Oh my God. How many coffees would you
guys have on a Tuesday night
SNL? Mmm. Two.
On a Tuesday night? Yeah. But
lattes. So we're talking spress.
Yeah. Yeah. But those would be like big old
lattes, right? Would they be like a four-shotter
kind of thing? Well, it depends. Are we going blue bottle
or are we going Dunkin'? That was me. I did a lot of Duncan, two giant Duncans and maybe three sugar free Red Bulls. Do you guys remember I drank so many Red Bulls that Red Bull gave me my own little fridge in my office? Yeah. Oh, yeah. We drank Red Bull and vodka. I did do that. That was not a work.
of work thing.
Guys, this episode is about laser cats
and obviously
I know a lot about coffee
as well.
Yeah, of course.
But it's about laser cats
and before we get
into laser cats,
which is, I mean,
I guess the longest
recurring one a year,
right?
Seven total?
Yeah, it's the only one
we did every year
when we were there.
I do want to get
to laser cats,
but since cats are a pet,
can we, Andy,
just clear the air
about the fact that we have been friends for a very long time.
I've got a dog, Frisbee, who's now 11 years old.
And you have been a real shitheel about my dog publicly for years.
Did Frisbee die?
No, Frisbee didn't die.
Well, then what's the conversation?
Yeah, what's the issue?
Will you confirm for our listeners that you did this very cruel thing?
I sent out a Christmas card to all my friends.
Yes, I did it. Frisbee was in
the Christmas card. You scratched
off Frisbee's face like a serial
killer. Yeah.
Send it back to us. Yeah.
That's a good bit.
I've never heard that before.
Well, don't send me that shit.
The idea was you were so disgusted to see Frisbee
that you had to scratch her face out and send the card back to us.
Wait, Frisbee's a girl?
See, this is what I'm talking about.
You haven't even put in the bare minimum.
Yes, Frisbee's a girl.
Do you feel worse now?
I feel worse, but not nearly as bad as you should feel
for naming a female dog Frisbee, which is clearly
some Dorfie dude's name. Who named Frisbee? Excuse me. Frisbee is completely gender neutral.
Who named the dog? I did. It's clearly a Doofy dude. That's a Doofy dude name. If you're writing
an 80s comedy about Doofy dudes, you'd be like, yeah, there's my bro Frisbee. That's fair. But you gotta say
it matches Frisbee's look. It's a good name
for the dog. But only because of how ugly.
Is Frisbee ugly? Sandberg
thinks she. Let's make it clear.
Okay, first off, disclaimer,
I'm on job. Okay?
So everyone needs to know that right now
before you judge me. And by the way,
I am a dog lover. I'm not.
But I really don't like Frisbee, and I like most dogs fine.
Frisbee's a little strange looking as a dog.
Nothing personal said.
It's like no one will tell you you got a weird looking kid, you know?
For the type of dog Frisbee is, isn't Frisbee completely average looking?
I would say she's cute, actually, for the type of dog.
Yeah.
I think Frisbee is a beautiful dog, and I think Frisbee is gorgeous.
We're not talking about her spirit
though. Like the way she looks.
Her spirit is actually fairly
ugly. She's got cute
little sad eyes. Frisbee's not a good
dog. Let me make that clear.
I did a photo shoot with a magazine.
I want to say it was Vogue.
You brought Frisbee. I brought Frisbee
and it was me and Frisbee
at a beautiful restaurant table dining together.
Did you guys hook up?
No.
It's worse than that.
Because just in case, they brought another Italian greyhound, like a trained one, and that's the one in the picture.
Because Frisbee's dumb as a rock and couldn't even sit still and look at the camera.
Right.
Oh, wow.
So people a lot of times will say, that picture of you and your dog is so beautiful, I love it.
I just keep it to myself that it's not Frisbee.
Again, like, lest ye judge, I'm on job. Do any of you currently have pets? Yes. What do you have, Jorm? I have a cat named Cleo. Yeah. Okay. And then Willie,
the original laser cat, is the face of the cat that is coming up over the nuclear explosion.
But we can get to that. We can get to that. When we get to talking about this. Kevin, what is this photo of me sharing a milkshake with Frisbee?
You're also wrapped in toilet paper.
Is that where the doink fell off photo is from?
Yeah.
We did a very beloved bit where Andy played a recently disturbed mummy.
There was an article about some mummies had been disturbed
and Shoemaker came into my office and said,
you know, if we were still working at SNL,
we'd write an update feature
where Andy was a recently disturbed mummy.
And I said, well, we should just write it
and see if he'll do it.
It was during the pandemic, so it was on Zoom.
With the classic line, my doink fell off.
When you're a mummy who gets disturbed,
you know, at that point,
depending on how long you've been interred,
the doink is just hanging on by a thread.
A little BTS.
You guys sent me a full costume,
and then instead I just wrapped myself in toilet paper.
You didn't know that until I logged on.
And that was a fun moment for me.
Now that is actually a good segue,
because that's some real lo-fi, low-budget comedy,
which is what we're dealing with with laser
cats and let me just say you know here we are nearing the end of your first season totally new
look laser cats is very unique to anything you've done so far and it was originally written as a
sketch oh yeah oh yeah yes it was a sketch a bad sketch sketch. A badly written sketch. So bad. I had forgotten how bad.
And then for the listener,
we were sent it this morning to reread.
Did you remember that we had done it, Andy?
I did not remember that.
I did not remember either.
I remembered you pitching it
and then us being like,
we should try and do it live.
But I didn't remember we had actually written it
and how fucking weird and bad it is.
It's terrible.
And it's so short.
At least we sort of knew it was bad
because we clearly held back from writing seven pages of it.
Do you want to really quickly explain, Akiva,
what the premise of the live version of the sketch was?
I just want to say, first of all, there's eight pages of it.
Is it eight pages? It looked like it was like nothing.
It didn't break down by pages on the text.
Oh no, this is where it comes out.
Yhorm can't count.
That's way worse.
Yhorm can't read.
Eight pages of garbage?
Yhorm can't read or count.
That's true.
I was hoping to avoid scandal on this PCAST, but now it's come out.
Yhorm can't count.
I mean, remember how short it was?
It was somewhere between like one and a hundred pages.
Oh, this mud's got me flying, Keith.
That cup of mud really got this guy wired.
Yeah, that cup of mud is going right through here.
He's going to have to go to the bathroom soon.
Seth's giving up now.
The premise of the live sketch version was that in the future, a nuclear war has happened,
and cats can now shoot lasers out of their mouths.
It was written for the Natalie Portman show, apparently.
now shoot lasers out of their mouths. It was written for the Natalie Portman show, apparently.
It was Andy and Natalie as a couple who have decided to start a business catching laser cats and repackaging them and selling them as cats that can shoot lasers out of their mouths. And
everyone can just grab one off the street. So there's no point to the business at all.
And then the business is failing, of course. All of the employees hate them and think it's a bad idea.
And then there's a robbery attempt that happens, right?
This is basically what it was.
And they're trying to steal the stock options because everyone's being paid in stock options and not cash.
And then Seth's character goes and has a threesome
with the robbers, I guess, foursome?
Foursome.
Fiend.
When you explain it, it makes perfect sense.
It does explain better than it reads.
And it flew by, apparently.
I will say, there's one element here
that you guys think there's maybe something to,
which is cats who can shoot lasers.
And I'm assuming that is now your jumping off point
for doing this as a digital short.
Yes, and to be fair, though...
Jorma owned a cat,
and he would hold it and pretend it
was a gun a laser gun that's the whole thing right yes my cat willie i would hold the cat with my
hand before the front legs and i would cock it and pretend to shoot my wife with lasers and i'm just
excited i'm still married guys yeah you're being gentle with the cat yeah you were being gentle
yeah it was more the wife part of that, that you wouldn't think that anyone would
want to stay with that guy. That's true.
Or hit the jackpot.
Yeah, just running around going,
pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
Now, there's going to be seven laser
cats, and I am going to look at it with
fresh eyes, like I looked at this
first one earlier today.
I also am just going to
be fully honest.
I was not an instant convert to LaserCats.
No, nor should you have been.
Wait, wait, wait, to double down on that.
Were you ever though?
I don't know.
Yeah, now we're getting down to it.
I gotta say, like when people come to me and ask,
not that they often do, I should stress.
But if people would ask,
what's your favorite digital short?
I think I'd get way down the list
before we started bumping into LaserCats.
Now, there are moments in LaserCats,
I think, as it goes later,
that I enjoy.
But this first one?
You hate it.
There's like two or three things I really liked.
Okay, starting with the positive.
That sounds about right.
But you know what I'll say?
For a pre-tape, that's not bad.
That's not bad.
Watching it again,
it doesn't feel like the audience is fully on board.
Would you say that's accurate? That was just because it was our it again, it doesn't feel like the audience is fully on board. Would you say that's accurate?
That was just because it was our first year and I think that they
were just warming up to us. I think later on
they would have been totally on board, yeah. I think the
lo-fi is a bit abrasive and it's
purposely so, but that can be a little
hard to latch onto. Yeah.
I will say it's one of my favorites
for that reason.
I like that it has a
distinct contrast from the rest of the HD show
and that it's basically like knucklehead 12-year-olds
running around 30 Rock being obnoxious
and like driving a jazzy scooter
souped up to look like a spaceship.
It's just, it feels very inappropriate in good ways to me.
The key, obviously, framing device of it
that is one of the things I do like a great deal
is it always begins
with Bill and Andy trying to pitch this idea to Lorne. Do you guys remember whose idea it was to
put that on it? It was definitely not mine because that's a good idea. No, it was Akiva's. Okay. I
remember it vividly and me and Joram were like, no, but it's funny because it sucks. Yes. And
Akiva's like, I remember the exact words, basically. You were like, the exact words, basically.
Jesus, this job's got me off
my rocker. You're doing great, man.
It's like, forget how to talk much.
Anyways, Key was like,
it's just stupid and silly, but you
need the audience to understand that
you know that it sucks, and you're doing
it on purpose. And so he pitched
the Lorne stuff, and we were like,
oh yeah, that's smart.
That was me doing Yoram.
That's what he said.
Lorne, thank you so much for taking the time out to talk.
You will not be sorry.
I'm sure.
What's up?
Bill and I stayed up all night brainstorming.
And what we discovered is that there are two things
that everyone loves.
Cats and lasers.
That's right.
Cats and lasers. So we right. Cats and lasers.
So we went out and shot a short film, all on
our own, that's full of both
cats and lasers. And I gotta tell you,
it came out great.
And I think it would be perfect for the show.
I don't know, it doesn't sound
good. Putting Lauren in a sketch
can sometimes be a bit of a devil's
bargain.
Elaborate. Because you can get a really good Lorne take,
which this one is full of.
Yeah.
I think each one of Lorne's reads here is really good.
You might need multiple takes to get it.
Depending on the day.
Depending on the day.
But I will say we put him in his comfort zone.
Yes.
Behind his desk.
Behind his desk, disliking our pitch.
Yeah, he didn't really have to act much. zone. Yes. Behind his desk. Behind his desk, disliking our pitch.
Yeah, he didn't really have to act much. Draw from life experience.
You actually wrote a far more, I don't know, straightforward Lauren than actually exists.
Lauren would never say, well, it sounds bad. True.
You know, it was aggressive as opposed to passive aggressive. So it was like a real fictional multiverse, Lauren, that would tell you it sucked to your face.
Right.
Here's something I just remembered,
which was that on the MTV Movie Awards the year before,
they had come to us like they do sometimes
with something that'll never happen.
Collateral was coming out.
So they said, hey, Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx
want to do something on the show.
And we even were like, that'll never happen.
But what we wanted to do was something just like this,
like a Channel 101, super lo-fi, them like two 12-year-olds recreating the famous movies of the
year, like with cardboard sets. And there was something about it where we thought like, if the
two biggest movie stars in the world are doing it, it's going to be so charming because you know
they had a choice to do it at high production values and chose to do it like two little kids.
The pitch didn't get anywhere, but I do remember when we were trying to do it at high production values and chose to do it like two little kids. The pitch didn't get anywhere.
But I do remember when we were trying to do this, I remember thinking,
oh, we can kind of use that aesthetic where you know we're on SNL.
You know we could have production value.
And we're choosing to do something that any kid could do.
Keith, is the term sweeted correct?
Like when people say that it's been like Michelle Gondry-ified kind of thing.
Have you guys heard that term?
That is what they called it in that movie.
Is it just in that movie?
Is that term from that movie?
Be kind, rewind.
I think so.
Or it's where I learned it.
Gotcha.
But I don't know why it's called that.
I don't either.
Does it have to do with Swedish people?
I don't know.
If somebody could look that up, that'd be great.
Kevin?
So the other thing is, of course, the premise is that you guys went out and shot it yourself.
And you are bringing it into Lauren's office and you're showing it to him.
Old school VCR, which I'm pretty sure is what probably existed in Lauren's office at the time.
It was not hard to find.
Not hard to find in the VCR.
And then we get into Laser Cats.
And I should say another thing.
In general, I don't like it, but there are things I like.
Right.
So you hate it.
The costumes are outstanding.
Okay, great, great, great.
And I really like Andy's helmet with the lightning bolts on it.
Classic. It's really dumb. Iconic. In the end, they were kind of iconic. I mean,
this had to be a Halloween costume for years. Yeah. You do something enough against people's
will, it becomes iconic, I guess. I mean, yeah. Was this you guys running the point on costumes
or was the SNL costume department helping out?
I think we asked for pretty much what it ended up being and they gave us options and we picked from those.
But they always are incredible and give you insanely good choices really fast. Yes, but I do remember that the first version, like this one was shot by us, right?
Keith, like we didn't have a camera person on this one.
I think we always shot them ourselves, didn't we?
All the first ones, right?
Like at a certain point it switched over, but I don't know.
Yeah, but I think laser cats,
we always just shot ourselves on little cameras.
But the other thing about laser cats was that
the crew was much, much smaller on this one.
Because I remember like when we were doing like the fourth one,
looking around and being like,
why are there 30 people here
for something that could be done with two?
Did we name him Nitro and then find the weight belt that said Nitro? No. I'm being like, why are there 30 people here for something that could be done with two?
Did we name him Nitro and then find the weight belt that said Nitro?
No, we must have had the weight belt.
And then I was named after the weight belt.
Yeah.
And then we named him Nitro.
No, that can't be.
That's good writing.
Yeah.
Admiral Spaceship and Nitro are pretty good names.
That can't be.
I'm pretty sure it is.
Yeah.
Come on.
Like we didn't put it on there. I think you did because we don't hear Nitro's name till later in the piece.
I bet you called him something else in that first scene because you hear Admiral Spaceship,
but you don't hear Nitro.
I bet there was a different name.
Does it say in the script that we wrote out?
Do we even have the script?
Because those scripts wouldn't go into the table read.
So they're probably not in the SNL database.
Yeah.
It would be on one of our computers.
Gotta get those computers.
Is it clear that we edited all of the digital shorts, though?
Like, did people sort of understand
that after the writing
and shooting of these things,
then Akiva and I and Andy
would all just go
and sit there forever?
Is that something we need
to take credit for?
That's why the effects are so good.
Kevin pulled info on Sweeted Films.
They are amateur recreations
of famous films
using limited resources
and technology
inspired by the 2008 comedy Be Kind, Rewind. Now, I just want to point out that LaserCats is 2006.
We also didn't start sweeting them until, I mean, we were taking ideas from movies,
obviously, but like in terms of like a sweeted film, we did those a little later,
like when we were doing the James Cameron ones, right?
Yes. This does not have any iconic recreations.
Yeah. We weren't making Indiana Jones or something.
First big laugh, earned laugh for my money,
is cocking the cat.
Taking a live cat and cocking it
and hearing the gun cock.
And the meow.
And the meow.
Super funny.
Maybe that's what saved my marriage.
Maybe my wife saw that and was like,
no, I guess he's onto something.
Oh, jeez, I'm getting a transmission from base hello a princess has been kidnapped robotron let's roll yorm you show up a
few times as a guy who's getting shot by lasers and liz kakowski as well right she's in the opening
credits oh look at that the nice like sort of pressure release of this sketch is, of course, we get to go back to you guys with Lauren.
So, what do you think?
Get out.
Okay, sounds good.
Awesome.
And again, Lauren gives a great performance in this first Laser Cats.
Then I had a real traumatic flashback
because it cuts to you guys chowing down popcorn.
And Lauren Michaels has a giant
basket of the best popcorn I've ever eaten in his office at all times. I think popcorn machine
popped, right? Yes. Yeah. It's not in bags. Someone is popping this popcorn. And here's the
thing. I stress ate popcorn for 12 and a half years. I would sit in Lorne's office in the worst
mood and just idly eat handfuls and handfuls of delicious popcorn.
And the amount I floss less post leaving that show is incredible. I think my gums used to bleed
because I'm just flossing popcorn kernels out of them 24-7.
Keeve, check your phone.
Okay, checking. I had it on do not disturb because I'm a professional.
Everybody just wait one second.
Some sort of side bits occurring.
Oh, it's Andy's Wordle score. So he did Wordle while we were
talking about that. Yeah.
I just wanted everyone to know that. He got in four, guys.
It's a very average score.
Four. Not good, not bad.
By the way, I also got, he didn't
tell me to check my phone, but he also got
Queen Bee on the spelling bee, which he texted
me right before this started. Oh, yeah.
I can't believe you didn't lead with that.
Over 50 words.
No slouch.
Anyways, I did wordle because Seth was telling his popcorn thing.
Should we move on?
Yeah, let's move on.
The Lonely Island podcast is supported by Airbnb.
Hey, Yoram.
Hi.
You know how last summer my family and I circumnavigated the globe?
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Huh.
Huh.
Huh.
What am I doing, Seth?
Yorm, are you working out?
I'm working out right now.
Oh, my God.
What are you wearing to work out in?
A tuxedo.
Oh, Yorm, you shouldn't work out in a tuxedo.
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Oh, what's that?
Well, it's incredibly versatile and comfortable.
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Even though you're hardly ever outside the gym, right, Jorm?
I'm a gym rat.
Can I wear it on the red carpet, though?
That's the only thing, because this tux looks good.
Jorm, it's a fresh take on athleisure and a staple in your wardrobe,
the Sunday Performance Joggers. Oh my god, Jorm, you gotta a fresh take on athleisure and a staple in your wardrobe. The Sunday performance joggers.
Oh my God, Yorm, you got to get yourself a pair of Sunday performance joggers.
It sounds great, Seth, all of this.
Honestly, I'm going to say it sounds more comfortable than working out in this tux,
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Yorm, do you prefer things to have more style and less comfort or more comfort and less style?
Me wanty both, Seth.
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All right, I'm going to get back to this workout.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Hey, Jorm.
Yes.
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Thank you, Seth.
I just wanted to say that you are such a good friend and thank you.
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Is that what you're talking about?
I'm going to cut you off there, Jorm, because I actually didn't want you to get it off your chest to me.
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Yeah, that sounds good too.
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Half? I'm not good with numbers.
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Post your job for free at linkedin.com slash resource.
That's linkedin.com slash resource
to post your job for free.
Terms and what else do you think apply?
Terms and what, Jorm?
Hair conditioner.
Terms and conditions apply.
I got another big laugh out of you guys
signaling each other.
Andy, you sort of did that military thing
of pointing at your eyes and then gesturing
and then builded another one.
And you very subtly just say, I don't. What is that?
Now I feel like we're letting people into the world of laser cats a little. The audience is
now starting to pick up. Also in that shitty old NBC cafeteria, which is long gone, but it's kind
of crazy. When you see the cafeteria in the sketch, that is fully where SNL and famous A-list movie stars
would have to eat their lunch on a Saturday.
We shot in there a lot of times.
Yeah.
We shot everywhere in that building, basically.
Then we get a Lindsay Lohan cameo.
She's the host, doesn't have a ton to do in this.
I'm assuming she was super busy
and you have a small window to use her in.
That sounds right.
Princess, you're being saved by us.
Now that we've rescued you,
who would you say you like better between the two of us?
I want to say Nitro.
Say Nitro.
Now say that you want to have sex with all of us.
Say you had sex with both of us.
What?
No, that's enough.
I had sex with both you guys.
We wouldn't write that now, but it's okay.
They're like 13-year-olds and it's like their fantasy.
Very much.
Everything about it is above board. They're 13
year old dudes asking a
cute girl who is absolutely not going for
it and tells them to get out of there. Yeah.
It does seem like it ends and
you guys know you're going to do more.
Really? Well, Andy dies.
Yeah. There's nothing in the body
of the laser cats film that is
a joke other than the fact that Bill
calls him Kimo Sabe. Bill says damn these laser cats film that is a joke other than the fact that Bill calls him Kimo Sabe.
Bill says,
damn these laser cats
and Andy says,
no, damn us.
That's just good writing.
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah, that is just good writing.
And then there's an obvious
80-yard no, right?
That's like super underplayed
like their parents
are awake in the room
next door.
That's actually one
of my favorite parts of it.
It's when you do a fake yell
as a kid where you go
really quiet
to make it sound far away.
You stay with me.
You stay with me. You stay with me.
No!
No!
No!
I should know one of the other fun details of LaserCats is there's a lot of found people in the background.
Yeah.
You guys have not cleared the hallways.
No, and it's real.
Oh, yeah. No, those are all people trying to background. Yeah. You guys have not cleared the hallways. No, and it's real. Oh, yeah.
No, those are all people
trying to get to work.
And it's the first one
where we intentionally
had a mirror in the shot
and you can see tons
of people in the mirror.
Oh, no.
Is that the first one
that Simon Rich
is the cameraman?
No, no, no.
This one has Kenward
walks out of the
control room and stops.
Oh, got it, got it.
Yeah.
It truly was just us.
There was not a single
crew member with us.
It was just us running around the halls. Yeah, totally. was just us. There was not a single crew member with us. It was just us
running around the halls. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Good times. Nice mix of real cats and stuffed
cats. That was a real eye opener because we were able to get an animal wrangler and it turns out
you can't wrangle cats. They're unwrangleable. Keeve just said there was no crew. So. No,
he lied. Oh, right. I forgot. There was, of course, the proper PETA-approved wranglers.
Yeah, that's true.
A lot of those wranglers show up with the news that the animal that they have brought is not actually technically able to be wrangled.
Yes, there's a lot of like, yeah, we can do that.
They have a lot of bad news about the thing you want that animal to do and what it can actually do.
Right. Yeah, there's a lot of like, can they go from here to here? Ah,
we can try. I guess that's
my question. When this ends, do you think
oh, that was great, we should do one
again? That was not my thought.
No. Okay. But I did like
how different it felt from anything
else, not just like Jorma was saying at the top of
this, how it felt different from what was on the show,
but how different it felt from anything that had kind of
ever been on the show. So I remember being okay with the fact that it played lukewarm
at the audience because I thought, yeah, but we did something experimental.
And then do you hear good things over the course of the summer, say? Is LaserCats something that
I would imagine, especially from your friends in LA, that's kind of lined up with what they
knew you for, sort of lo-fi, things like that. Was everybody, oh my God, that's so awesome
that you did your thing on SNL.
There's a certain type of Comic-Con style person
that really gets what we were going for, I think,
and liked it.
I don't know if they were our friends.
One thing that does get routinely confused
about Lasercats is that
whenever you see references to it,
people somehow think that the lasers
are coming out of the cat's eyes,
which is just bogus, you know?
It's a real bugaboo for your arm.
Yeah.
Because it's a solitary laser bolt from their mouth.
Yeah, it's a gun.
And the science supports it.
Yeah.
The preamble states they shoot it out of their mouths.
Yeah, like very clearly.
The heat mechanism is originating from somewhere in their gut.
Yeah.
And it comes through their throat and out their mouth.
When you make it come out of their eyes, it makes no fucking sense.
When it was over, did you get the sense that Bill thought,
oh, this was so much fun,
we should do more of these?
Yes, I actually do.
Yeah, this was up Bill's alley.
I mean, I think the playing with sort of
action movie cinema tropes is right up Bill's alley.
Yes.
Yeah.
We were also all fans of,
I may be wrong on this one,
of when this came out,
but Garth Marenghi's Dark Place
was a big hit for all of us. Yeah. I feel like I saw that after we made this because people said, have you seen that?
Yes. I think that is right. And then I was like, holy shit, I love this. Yeah. Yeah, it's great.
Yes. A perfect show. Garth Marenghi's Dark Place is a BBC show about a horror writer who has
written more books than he's read,
and he has made a 1980s drama sci-fi show
that got shelved,
and he says that it's been brought out
because of the glut of creativity.
This is the worst.
A terrible, once again,
just a terrible intro for this show.
Yeah, just cut that all out.
We'll just ignore it.
It's like a Tales from the Crypt.
Check out Garth Marenghi's Dark Places.
It's very good.
It's six episodes.
And by the way, you can watch all six in the time it's going to take
your army to explain the premise.
Here's the thing.
It's about a hospital.
Oh, man.
It's still going.
It's built on an Indian burial ground.
Just remembering all the details.
Look, it's a dense premise.
But sometimes you just give up when the premises do dance.
You go, all right.
Just cut his mic.
Okay.
We did always have the fantasy.
I remember we would talk about it, that our last LaserCats was going to be like a $200,000
J.J. Abrams directed straight up, like as if it had been upgraded and had been given
the full studio movie treatment.
I still like this idea.
We wanted to do it as a feature,
what you're talking about, Keith.
Yeah, but I'm even just saying,
we always talk about that the last short could be like a three-minute version
where it's widescreen and beautifully shot
and feels like you're watching the epic,
like, blockbuster version of it.
Do you guys think that Lorne low-key
loved being in this?
Oh, man, I would never even.
I think by the end.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think Lorne was very good in it agree
this one he's very good no notes i like that through line of lauren through the years being in
sketches as lauren and it makes me happy and i think it makes him happy too especially as you
guys became more popular he probably was psyched to have been in on the ground floor. I don't think he would
have wanted in the fourth season of The Lonely Island to get word to you guys that he wanted
to be in a short, like in a weird way. The fact that he said yes to laser cats in your first year
paid off very kindly to him. And I think it's really fun for Lauren because he also gets to
play a version of himself that is high status and eye-rolly. And
those are moves he's very good at. Yeah. He's in his comfort zone and he comes off great.
I want to say a couple of things about the show. These are the final days of Seth Meyers trying to
grind it out on camera as a cast member. We're almost at the end of the season.
Oh no.
I get to shake it off. I get to go through a very long,
stressful summer where I'm wondering if I'm going to get the nod to replace Tina.
Oh, right. Then I get to live a'm going to get the nod to replace Tina. Oh, right.
Then I get to live a wonderful life of being a weekend update anchor.
Tina at this point has announced she's leaving because 30 Rock has picked up and she's going
to run that full time, right?
Yeah.
We know there's going to be that whole process of Fingernet takes over.
But I do have an update feature.
I play a weatherman who will not admit global warming is a problem.
I just think it's end of days.
Stormy, how can you continue to ignore that global warming is a factor here?
What? Here?
Come on, there could be a number of explanations for this kind of weather.
Like what?
Well, my best guess is that it's the end of days.
Do you suggest we cut back on fossil fuels?
End of days, Tina, not middle of days.
Let's take a look at the five-day forecast.
Okay.
Sunday, tornado canes.
Monday, snow, rain, and fire.
Tuesday and Wednesday, sun goes black.
And Thursday, it explodes.
I went back and looked at it.
And the thing that made me laugh really hard,
because I think this just speaks to how dumb it is to be a professional comedy writer and perform comedy sketches for a living.
Sure.
But I have the amended air copy so I can see the changes we made between dress and air.
At dress, I played a weatherman named Barry Shirtsworth. And between dress and air,
we changed it to Stormy Windbreaker
and I just like the idea
that we were sitting there
somebody thought
that would be
a difference maker
yeah
like if it's
Stormy Windbreaker
they're gonna be
on your side
I do think it's better
I mean Stormy Windbreaker
you know what it is
is I think on Tuesday
if you write
Stormy Windbreaker
it seems hacky
but now it's between
Dress and Air
and you're like
fucking do it I don't fucking care it's between dress and air and you're like fucking do it
it's triage so desperate i agree goose it it's like triage
oh my god like it's just so funny how like the judgy part of you just dies between dress and
air oh yeah you're saying anything anything to not die what was that name
we all said sucked on tuesday go through the garbage can the last line was me saying to
my dear friends amy and tina who i love very much uh my last line was repent repent oh yeah
wow which i think is a lovely thing to be able to yell to your friends.
But I will say that tornado canes,
he was talking about tornadoes and hurricanes were mating
and creating tornado canes.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
And they were like the sharks in Deep Blue Sea.
They were getting smarter.
Yeah.
Not only do the tornado canes cause expected devastation
such as blackouts and structural damage,
but they also commit more human crimes
like breaking and entering and identity theft.
Identity theft?
The tornado cane will use strong winds
to separate you from your wallet
and then runs up big charges at Circuit City or strip clubs.
Oh, and I'm pretty sure a tornado cane
is banging my girlfriend.
Stormy, a tornado cane's not banging your girlfriend.
Well, someone is because she's way too happy.
And you said it played well. My memory is is it played well the reason i say it played hot and not to keep
hammering home what this year was like for me as a cast member few things did so if i can see
a sketch i was in and my memory of it isn't it eating shit i'm pretty sure it played hot it's so interesting
seth like i had no idea that is how you viewed it at the time like as far as we were concerned
we were just like that's older than us so he's good you know what i mean like he knows how the
show works he gets stuff in he gets laughs yeah we looked up to you so much and i didn't say that
okay fine well i looked up to you very much and you always seemed so calm and collected.
I felt like I was having like panic attacks all the time.
And even like hearing you were upset
that something got cut is surprising to me.
It was very much a me versus Tina too,
making the argument.
And there was sort of an unwritten rule,
which is don't fight for your peace.
Totally unwritten.
But between dress and air,
Tina and I at this point,
she's still head writer, I'm writing supervisor.
And we both were very good at sticking to that rule.
Neither of us were known for fighting for our pieces.
And yet it was the last sketch of the night
and we were both kind of putting our toe on the line.
I think there was a little bit of dirty pool by both of us.
I don't look back at that one fondly.
How would you do that with Lauren?
I think it would be some version of, I think that Tina would say, I just think for Lindsay,
Ann-Margaret's a great look. It's totally different than anything she's done in the show,
which is totally true and fair, right? Her argument is better than mine. And I would say,
I don't know, school announcement has a lot of cast.
Right.
Played really well last time. And then Tina might say, yeah, is it that much different than last time?
And then I'd go eat a bucket of popcorn and floss.
Yeah.
Man, you landed that plane, baby.
Woo!
Well, I had to do something that let you keep in.
Now they have to keep in my earlier popcorn story.
Smart.
That's true.
During which I a-stwertle. Smart. That's true. During which I aced Wordle in four.
That's so fucking shitty.
I should note then, school announcement was cut on air,
which meant that because two of his kids were fighting,
Lorne put them both in the show,
knowing full well that one would get pulled.
Now, the other thing about getting cut on air
that makes it even worse
is you got to go get in the costume.
Yeah, that's brutal.
Cutted dress, you're mad at the time, but at least you're not dorking out in a full wardrobe air that makes it even worse is you got to go get in the costume yeah that's brutal cut a dress
you're mad at the time but at least you're not dorking out in a full wardrobe and wig for a
sketch that's not gonna happen did you ever get caught andy in an outfit of a sketch that didn't
air during good nights yes yes so humiliating everyone's like what was that from why are you
dressed like an alien in like full bald cap? And you're like, you got cut.
I got cut and I didn't have time to change.
I don't want to hug my host like this.
I'm a fucking loser.
Are you not allowed to skip it?
I don't know this.
Cast has to be on stage, right?
I never skipped good nights.
I never skipped good nights.
But is that a rule?
Like, is that an unwritten rule?
That's not.
I think you could get away with it.
Nobody would notice.
Yeah.
But I felt there was something so important
and ritualistic about being there for good nights.
Even if I was in a terrible mood,
I thought it was really special.
I agree, but I will say,
I think I have memories.
And again, this is not a sharp memory,
but I feel like in the history of the show
during our time there,
people would be mad about whatever happened to their show that night is not a sharp memory. But I feel like in the history of the show during our time there,
people would be mad about whatever happened
to their show that night
and would skip goodnights
like out of spite.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Well, what you just described
sounds like the worst
humiliation possible,
especially if you wrote it
and were proud of it
and then you're sitting there
in the costume.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I would think
that somebody must have
skipped out.
I will say,
in our era Andy
I think most of the people
would
when they hugged you
during good nights
laugh in a good way
about the fact
it like points you
towards the camera
and try and get you
on camera
well yeah
hey look at this
fucking full pirate
the thing that would
maybe bring me
the most shame
is if you had to like sit sort of with
your eyes peeled back what's the famous movie clockwork orange yeah clockwork orange if i had
to clockwork orange all the good nights where i just sort of awkwardly was going to hug the host
and then someone else was hugging them and then they were having a conversation and you just kind
of get caught standing and waiting while credits roll.
That's something that you should be allowed to see on your deathbed.
Like right before you die.
Yeah.
There were a lot of hosts during our time that really just wanted to give Wig a hug.
Yeah.
Where they were like, she's the best.
I'm going to hug her.
And steal her essence.
And you'd be like, okay, I'm going to get out of the way of this hug.
Yeah.
And then you just like hug Bill again.
Of course he'll hug you.
We talked about school announcements, which was a sketch i wrote for dane cook that aired yes i was very happy with
it i tried it a second time uh yeah got cut i really remember between dress and air came down
to either that school announcements or lost movie was the sketch that aired instead where Lindsay Lohan played Anne Margaret and Fred played Liberace.
And it was a bye-bye birdie movie that did terribly with critics.
And again, I remember being super mad my sketch got cut.
I am now very happy to admit that the right call was made.
And it was just about how they had no chemistry as actors.
And it was a lot of Daryl.
Oh, Libby, we're finally alone.
I wish my brother George was here.
You know, Libby, I'm a little chilly right now.
Maybe you could loan me your cape.
I'd love to, but I can't.
This cape has over 15,000 diamonds in the collar alone.
I've got an idea.
How about if you just keep me more?
No, thank you.
This is my favorite line.
It's a movie, but Fred as Liberace keeps talking to the camera.
And Daryl, who is playing Robert Osborne,
who Sudeikis would later play,
has one of my favorite lines.
Their absolute lack of chemistry was
reinforced by Liberace's
insistence of looking directly into the camera.
Was this the first time that Fred
played Liberace? That's a good question.
I feel like
it might have been. He starts doing it
all the time in Vincent Price,
but I don't know if he did it in the first Vincent Price.
And we learned later that he worked at Radio City
during Liberace's crazy run of shows, right?
Fred was an usher at Radio City.
And again, we should probably have Fred on to tell this story.
But my memory was the first night Fred was there,
Liberace told this story about,
there's a couple here tonight.
And when they were young lovers,
they came and saw me in Las Vegas.
And that night he proposed to her
and they've been married for 40 years
and they're here tonight.
And a spotlight flashed into the audience
and the place went crazy.
And then he played a song.
And then Fred said the next night,
he told the exact same story
and the spotlight was in the exact same place.
Like nobody even looked to see who was on.
It's just a perfect story to tell
that made everybody feel like it was special.
Oh my God.
Wait, was it the same couple every night that were plants?
I don't think there was even a couple there.
I think it was just like he just gestured.
It's a wild spotlight.
That's so great.
Everybody just looks around
and no one's actually the subject.
Yeah.
That is showbiz.
To learn a wonderful showbiz lesson
from an old pro like that,
who was shamelessly doing a thing,
you might incorrectly judge as being insincere.
It wasn't.
It was showmanship and it made everybody feel good.
And I just love that Fred saw it.
I like to think that Fred,
I'm very happy at all the experiences Fred had
because I feel like he really speaks
to his wide range of talents.
So two things cut on air, guys.
You want to hear them?
Yes.
Because it's a real double burn.
Cut on air, the aforementioned school announcements.
Yeah, written by Seth Meyers.
And the other one that was cut on air
we've mentioned before, not this time.
Old Lobster Claw and Handlebar got the rollout.
I was going to say, I bet it was Lobster Claw.
That one might pop up a lot coming up.
Yeah, this might be the long tail of Lobster Claw and Handlebar.
God, in retrospect, you must have been so mad.
And I was just sitting there looking up to you,
just wide-eyed.
So, you know, again, we keep saying them.
Shoemaker was the one guy
who knew how crazy
I was going all the time.
And then I think everybody else
I tried to present
a pretty good face.
I mean, I did still love
working there
even when I was going crazy.
SNL is like that
because I remember one time
my first season,
I had some weird interaction
with Polar.
And like, I said something
as a joke
and then for the next
like three hours
spun out
thinking I had offended her.
I don't remember
what it was and then like found her later that afternoon i was like hey i just wanted to say i'm
sorry i was just joking around she was like what and i was like i just feel like i offended you
and she's like sam i don't know what you're fucking talking about buddy and i was like oh
she's like it's fine don't worry about it she was like just a little word of advice
no one's thinking about anyone but themselves here.
Yeah.
Fucking great advice.
I was like, oh, okay.
And that wasn't her saying,
you got to be selfish.
It was like,
nobody is as tuned in to your thing.
Yeah, and it's just head down
desperately trying not to get fired.
Yeah, you can be sloppy.
You can be messy.
You can take big swings and miss.
And that thing when you eat shit at the table
and you, in your head,
everyone is behind their office doors saying,
oh my God.
But nobody has time to worry about you.
No, unless your sketch gets picked and theirs doesn't.
Right.
Then they're going to sit in their office
with a little something to sip
and talk about why yours is dog shit.
That is true.
I'm almost out of that era. I'm very excited.
We're about to get to a much happier Seth
Myers when we get into the next season.
And look, you're half the name
of the podcast. That's true. I mean, I've
done pretty well for a guy who
couldn't fucking see the light of air
with the one digital short he wrote.
Guess what, dudes? I'm
half the podcast.
Guess what, motherfuckers? I'm coming for update.
From update feature to anchor.
Oy, oy, oy.
Well, that's LaserCats.
That was the first of many LaserCats.
Next week, we're going to double up with a couple.
And then we've got your big season finale.
Can't wait.
We're going to do Testicles.
Oh, boy. With Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. Oh, that's so good. We We're going to do Testicles. Oh, boy.
With Tom Hanks.
Tom Hanks.
Oh, that's so good.
We're not going to have a lot to say about that.
Okay, this is very interesting.
Or maybe we will.
I think, sadly, we'll have more to say about that.
I have a lot to say.
This is great.
I'm glad.
Because my memory of Testicles is like the noise you just made.
All right, so we got Testicles with Tom Hanks, no less.
Remember when you asked us,
were there some you wish hadn't aired?
Yeah, that's one of them.
Oh, interesting.
So that's where you guys are at.
Oh, for sure.
Still embarrassed.
Then Peyote.
Right, the second one we ever shot aired finally.
Yeah.
And then Andy walking, which is good time.
That's the season finale.
Well, look at this.
We've done it again.
Love you guys.
Love you too.
Love you, buddy.
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