The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast - Laser Cats! 4-ever

Episode Date: May 20, 2025

This week The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers talk about the digital short, Laser Cats! 4 Ever. They talk about their memories making the short with Steve Martin, plus they also chat about topics from last week’s pod again, like dissecting the Frazier theme song, talking more in-depth about Dennis Franz in NYPD Blue and the promo that came out before the show, and more! Laser Cats 4 Ever - https://youtu.be/en4k0HoBDok?si=tmCm4P2nJsY4v-QfMona Lisa - https://youtu.be/Dh2Lky730q0?si=6jqwdtrCMtCD8XJW(Not all the clips we mention are available online; some never even aired.) If you want to see more photos and clips follow us on Instagram @lonelymeyerspod. Send us an email! [e-mail] ShopifySign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at SHOPIFY.COM/ lonelyislandNutrafolStart your hair growth journey with Nutrafol. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code island.FactorGet started at factormeals.com/ISLAND50OFF and use code ISLAND50OFF to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box.Mint MobileGet your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at MINTMOBILE.com/ISLAND Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast. This is really exciting. We're doing a new thing where we're inviting a celebrity guest to say, have a great pod. And we're so excited. We're going to do it exactly one time. Please welcome Vanessa Bayer. Hey guys, have a great pod.

Thanks, man. That's so awesome. Bye. Bye. Thanks for coming over. Just for that. No context, no explanation. No right, bye. Bye. Thanks for coming over. Thanks for having me. Just for that. No context, no explanation.

No context, no explanation. It was one of our only, besides Tim Olyphant, one of our only in-person guests. Which is very exciting. I'm loathe to start this without Yoram, but I just want to say that this entire podcast today could just be a recap of the last podcast. I was very, very delighted listening to the last podcast. What happened again? I think about you a lot while we're recording,

being like, oh boy, Seth's gonna hear this. Well, can I say I'm a little jealous because you get the best Andy. Andy fully admitted he's not doing Spelling Bee when I'm not there. Well, I'm not gonna do it today because I already got Queen Bee as you know, but ignored.

Just checked out Andy is what I'm used to. Um, somebody... Didn't respond because he clearly didn't get Queen Bee. Here's a real quick recap. He's just gonna let that go. Just won't acknowledge it because he knows he's not smart enough to get Queen Bee. Somebody wrote in about the last episode, Andy. See if this jogs your memory.

Finally, I've been tuning in to hear about the ABC TV rundown of the mid-'90s. -♪ Mm. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. It was full Dennis Franz. Like, you guys talked about Dennis Franz. A lot of butt chat. It was amazing. And I kind of couldn't believe you guys talked about Dennis Franz for that long.

I'll just say it both ways, because I'm not sure which one's right. It did mention that the Dennis Franz line in Mona Lisa is the hardest I've ever laughed at a Lonely Island. You did like that joke a lot. Oh, right. You, I think, more than anyone I know, like that song. And people like that song, but you like it, and maybe it's your favorite of our songs.

I think of Mona Lisa, and again, one day we're gonna get to Mona Lisa. I think about it all the time. I'm really happy sometimes because the run of lyrics that starts, I'm an American, is maybe my favorite series of life. Yeah, he's an American man. He's an American. That's right.

Yeah, this is a point of pride. Yeah, it melodically veers into Morrissey territory also, which is fun. Yes, that's what it is. But listen to Mona Lisa. The other thing, the famous story, the lore about Mona Lisa is that you sent it to Shoemaker and I, we were in my office and we laughed so hard that I threw up and he farted. I literally started choking and threw up into my trash can and he farted.

That's wonderful. God damn. I don't know if this is good podcast content, but should we just take one second to tell our listeners that while we love doing this, it's a fucking disaster to schedule. And so if it's ever like a day or two late, or there just isn't one in the week, just know it's not from a lack of training. Yes. We are doing it for Quaid Army.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Back to happier times. The last five minutes of the previous pod was the happiest I've been in like five years. Well, that's good. A lot happened in five minutes. It was truly amazing. I feel like if we ever do have merch, I just think it should be a goose

and it should say, not a gunk. Not a gunk. I did have a little, Shoemaker and I ran into Joe's in the hallway and just basically described the last five minutes of the podcast just to tell him about not a gonk. Not a gonk!

That's what they say, because they're kind of half-goose. We also went back to the... I just want to loop back to a real quick Seth's Corner and the Rosario Dawson show. That was the appearance of Larry the Goose on Update. Oh! So we were on the right episode? You were on the right episode. That's crazy.

Larry the Goose, for people who don't remember, it was that Andy was one of the surviving gooses from the Chesley Sullenberger Miracle in the Hudson Crash. Geese. And I did say, yeah, I said, please welcome one of the geese. And I will just say, biggest laugh was just you rolling out looking angry in a really good goose costume.

And by the way, this was before there were a lot of people dressed up like animals really big on Update. I mean, we were trailblazing. This was early bird work. Now you can't go two weeks without an Update bird. I mean, obviously, Paul Simon, trailblazer. That's true.

This was number two. This was the second big bird costume. Only the second in the history of sketch. Right. So anyway, I will say that my favorite thing about Larry the Bird, there was a line where you said it was a lot like Top Gun, a plane went down and Goose died. So really full circle, but I guess it was, we were talking about Goose and Goose. I really laughed hard when you were saying that Miles Teller's character was originally

Turkey and then... Named after Paul Simon's famous SNL debut. Right, famous SNL sketch, right. But the funny thing was that the logic problem I had was that you kept doing like, so you'd sound like this and you would make a turkey noise. Cause of course in the original Top Gun, Goose never makes a noise like Goose.

He doesn't go, honk, honk. Yeah, well cause geese are famous wingmen, right? But he does say yeehaw probably, right? Probably says something along the lines of yeehaw. Jester's dead. Yeehaw, something like that. Does he say that? Somebody does.

You guys, also maybe another shirt that I think maybe four people would buy, but I'd love to see in our merch store when we get it up and running. It's pronounced dooglis. Yeah, dooglis. I mean, dooglis. Would it be the shot of Doogie, but it says Douglas Hauser? Yeah, I think so.

I did see some of the comments and I saw that people were correcting us that the alter ego of Douglas Quaid is actually Karl Hauser. It really popped my balloon a little afterwards, honestly. I'd like to say the Quaid Army, if you have a correction like that, just keep it to yourself. Yeah. Oh, honestly. I'd like to say the Quaid army, if you have a correction like that, just keep it to yourself. Yeah. Oh, interesting. Yeah. I think that, you know, Quaid army, this is a place where we try to stay positive. And ultimately, we're going to make, we're going to have a few flubs here and there. Yhorm showed up. Hi, Yhorm.

Nope, he's gone. He's gone again. Yhorm has popped in twice onto the zoom and disappeared. Yeah. He couldn't hear us yet. He might be a ghost or like a phantom. He's the phantom of the pod. The phantom of the pod. The phantom of the pod. Um, Seth.

Yeah. Rob Klein reminded me that we wrote something that went to the table the Rosario Dawson week. But obviously did not make it past the table. I have two guesses. He was... he said he was surprised it didn't come up. Parakeet talk show? No, no, that's later. That's later.

Okay. Uh, I believe it was me playing a male stripper who, upon taking off his shirt, had super long stringy rubbery nipples. I'm... Kevin, put in the chat the name of that sketch and then maybe throw the sketch in there. But I probably just didn't notice the name of the sketch. It might be worth taking a peek and't notice the name of the sketch on the show. No, no, no. We had so many duds. But I do remember that one. It was like a 20% of the room laughing really hard

and the rest not. Kind of a sitch. Well, I mean, there is at this point, we're entering the audacity of Klein and Sandberg era. Where we're just sort of excited to see what you guys got. Table read heroes, you might say. Yoram has now entered the Zoom and left for a third time. Yeah, yeah. I think he's having technical difficulties.

He definitely is having technical difficulties. Yeah. It's just a tease. It's cool. When he does show up, we'll want him so much more. It is funny too, because every time I see him make a face like, God damn it. Yeah. Connected wrong again.

I can't think of what version of connecting to Zoom is wrong, where you're like, oh, now I gotta disconnect again. Oh, I'm connected and I can see everyone and hear them. I guess I better sign off. Since he's not here, Keev, I've enjoyed, I keep seeing new digital assets for your new Naked Gun film. Oh. Oh, I love the digital assets.

Some really good stuff. The long legs, I kind of forgot about that from the original Naked Gun. It's fantastic. That's awesome. I genuinely didn't know, I mean, I get emailed that type of thing, like, hey, here's some stuff we're working on, but I didn't realize anything was live besides the main teaser trailer and the main one sheet poster. So are you seeing those like on sidebars of YouTube or wherever, like just online? I just probably got it on Instagram, I think, just as like a little tasty reel.

Oh, oh, oh, like on the Insta, on the main one. Yeah, yeah, great. Yeah. I mean, we never really talked about that teaser, but I was very happy with it. I feel like it, like almost everything in that teaser was stuff we wrote the first week of writing. It like answered all the big questions. Yeah. You know? It's great.

And so I was glad to tell the audience the story like that. Sethly, I'll let you know I just watched the latest cut of The Naked Gun and it's just fantastic. I mean, it's a real fun time. Chalk full of bits and plenty to make you laugh very hard and feel happy about life. I'm very excited. It is so funny when you watch the teaser

and you realize just the rhythm of these jokes is something you haven't seen in so long. Yeah, it's very enjoyable. Nice to just have it be a thing that is trying to make you laugh the whole time. But also think, you know, and maybe feel really deep emotions.

Oh. No. No. All right, Bachelorette party. We got a classic. Here's to Jenny, the brand to be. We love you so much, girl. That's why we got you a special surprise.

You guys, I say I wanna keep this mellow. Okay, what is it? I hope you save room for dessert. Giant cake. So you're that kind of stripper. You guys, that cake is huge. Wait a minute, please tell me that's not what I think it is. Oh, it is.

And then some hit it Lorraine. Do you remember the music you danced to? I just opened it. Okay, it's Paradise City. It's Paradise City. Andy pops out of the top of the cake. Keith, can you do a little paradise city in the background while we read this?

Like a, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, are you guys ready? A fringed rawhide vest and a tiny mustache. Tight mini afro fringed rawhide vest and a tiny mustache. What is it? Yeah, are you girls ready to party? Yeah, woo.

Well, you're in luck, because this is my jam, and I'm super horny. I'm guessing that was the voice. Yeah. Starts to dance, the girls cheer. Wow, nice call, girls. He's hot. She's super into it.

She's not been turned off by anything yet. Not yet. Casey's like, yeah, I guess. Casey is turned off. She goes, yeah, I guess. Yeah, it's a classic, let the host have fun and be into the weird thing. OK, keep going. Uh, which's a classic, let the host have fun and be into the weird thing. Okay, keep going.

Uh, which one of you is the lucky lady? I am? Okay, it's me. It's you? Well, feast your eyes on me, because this is what it looks like when I have sex. Andy locks his arms to his side and does a pained dance. Hmm, hmm. Stage direction, whimpering. Whimpering.

Girls half-hearted, yes, sorry, he just kind of fit our budget. Oh, wait, I'm sorry, it was the nice turn. No, Rosario, no, I mean, I'm having a second thoughts about getting married, because this guy's such a sexy stud. Oh, yeah, all this dancing is making my testicles so hot. I can't wait to come down here and show you how hot I am. I'm gonna be a little bit more sexy. I'm gonna be a little bit more sexy.

I'm gonna be a little bit more sexy. I'm gonna be a little bit more sexy. I'm gonna be a little bit more sexy. I'm gonna be a little bit more sexy. I'm gonna second thoughts about getting married because this guy's such a sexy stud. Oh yeah, all this dancing is making my testicles so hot. I can't wait to come down there and show you guys my penis. Great. Jeez. Are you ready? Are you ready for me to come down there? Girls, eh, Rosario, yeah. All right, here I come.

Tries to lift his legs up to get out of the cake, he can't. Ooh, here we go. Is he stuck in the cake? It looks like it. Rosario, no, he's just a tease. Quick teasing, sexy. I'm coming for you. I'm gonna show you everything, girl.

By the way, it's page five and we have not had our big reveal. Top of page eight. You wanna see what I got? Yeah. Okay, asking ye shall receive. Ye spelled Y-E. Andy removes his his vest revealing two super long dangly nipples There we go girls react girls react gross. Did somebody order the slim Jim's

Andy in his slim Jim comedy. No, I heard the bachelor and has a sweet tooth for pink taffy who wants to chew No, and after my signature move, the human car wash, here I come! Spins his nipples, then immediately trips and falls through a table. Oh my God, is he dead? Yes. Perfect.

Wanna go see Marley and me again? Does Carrie Bradshaw like stilettos? Let's go. Before you say anything, Seth, it's bad. It's real bad, and it's good that it didn't go. Yeah, I think that's when where you're sort of happy there's no visual proof. In your memory, did the dangly nipples come out way earlier?

Earlier and it was funny. Steve Martin comes back. This is his first time hosting since surf meeting and Keev, Liz just jumped on right before we started recording, and she asked a very, very good question. Did Steve Martin joke about Surf Meeting when he came back to do the show for the first time after Surf Meeting? I think it was too soon. I think it was way too soon.

It had only been like three years. Yeah, I think it was too fresh. We were hoping he forgot and we didn't want to bring it up. Yeah. Right. We were saying maybe Lauren had to work him for like three years and be like... To convince him... ...they're better now. That it was safe to come back.

Most of their stuff is pre-tapes. I like that he trusted us enough to do a Laser Cats 4. I mean, the Forte Close Talkers 2-Inches sketch went totally well. So maybe that pre-tape kind of made him be like, yeah, but the pre-tapes are okay. Yeah, so he put himself back in your hands again, and he did Laser Cats 4. Have you guys watched it today? You know, I watched it last week

because we thought we were going to do it last week. Yeah, me too. Yeah, so you have memories of it. I will say, can I tell you my first bounce on Laser Cats 4? Please. The audience is still not that excited when a Laser Cat starts. They were actually less...

I wouldn't be surprised if we would go look at all seven Laser Cats opens and this was the most tepid response to its starting. Is that fair to say, Andy? If you were just gonna guess. No one cared at all that it had returned, but then it did have good laughs, I thought, in it. Yeah, but I was expecting, usually when it starts, there's some kids in the audience who are like,

hey, yeah, one of these. This one was like nothing, and I was surprised. It also maybe wouldn't be worth to like watching the whole show, it just might've been like a chill air audience. But it is weird, like even when it ends, there's maybe like only like two people clap. But I watched it, and as- Wait, at the very end of the sketch?

At the end of the sketch, and it's also, like, one of those, like, endings, because there's an emotional ending to Laser Cats, and I think a couple of people get caught, like, thinking you're supposed to clap at that part. Oh, I see. So there's really, like, two claps. Well, we're jumping ahead, but Steve Martin asking Lauren if he got that it was King Lear, I thought was a funny joke.

Yes. I believe that was his, correct? Well, yeah, he's Steve Martin. Something he would pitch. One of the greatest comedians of all time, so sure, yeah, he had a good pitch. He also tells Lorne in the beginning that he has a new thing he wants to show him

called Lizard Cats. Yeah, and we correct him. So he doesn't even know. Support for the Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast comes from Airbnb. You know, recently I took a trip to Los Angeles, California, and I stayed at an Airbnb for five days. It was in the valley. I'm not gonna tell you where because then you might track my movements. It was great. It was right across from a park. It was a really beautiful unit. And you know what it made me think?

It made me think, man, I'm blowing it. I have a lovely place that I could be doing the same thing with. I would love to share it with the world. It's a great way for people to have lovely experiences. And what am I doing? I'm just blowing it because it feels like it's more of a vacation than an Airbnb.

It's not a hotel. You don't have to feel like you're just visiting a city. You're living in a city. And anyway, I felt like I was really throwing money in the garbage, and I was a fool. Your home could be worth more than you think, and you can find out how much at airbnb.com slash post. Support comes from Shopify.

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sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash Lonely Island. Go to Shopify.com slash Lonely Island, Shopify.com slash Lonely Island. Shopify.com slash Lonely Island. Support comes from Neutral Fall. Hey, Keev. Hey, what's up? Hey, buddy.

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It was your brother's, but it felt like it was mine because I had such a nice time. Yeah, and I think it would It was your brother's, but it felt like it was mine because I had such a nice time. Yeah, and I think it would have been ruined for both of us and everyone there had somebody been shedding. Yeah, tell me about it. That's not what you want at a wedding. Yeah.

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I have a question for you, Seth. It's a little off topic, but did you go watch a video of Dennis Franz's ass after the video? Oh yeah, that's a key question. All right, I'm glad you asked about Dennis Franz's ass. First of all, I loved NYPD Blue. I was a huge fan of that show. And I actually lived abroad during a couple years

of that show and my mom used to tape it and send me VHS tapes to Amsterdam so I could stay up to date on NYPD Blue. What a dweeb, I love it. I think fully cried when Jimmy Smits's character, Spoiler Alert, dies on NYPD Blue. Oh my God, that's a huge spoiler. Dennis Franz was the best.

Also, can I throw this out? Dennis Franz, guess what he's done since NYPD Blue. Oh my God, that's a huge spoiler. Dennis Franz was the best. Also, can I throw this out? Dennis Franz, guess what he's done since NYPD Blue? What? Not one thing. Said he was gonna take a break and be with his family and that was the last thing he did. He just retired. He did the thing no one does, which he retires.

He's a legend, a legend. I mean, I think he's still like a pretty famous butt model. Do you then, as a massive fan, have insight into how we all knew in the time when it was airing, like, hey, tonight there's gonna show a butt? Well, somebody wrote this comment, which is helpful. The first butt on NYPD Blue was David Caruso's butt. And that was in the first episode.

Whoa, what? He was on the first season of the show. And showed his butt? Yeah, they showed his butt. Wait, Franz wasn't the first episode. Whoa, what? He was on the first season of the show. And showed his butt? Yeah, they showed his butt. Wait, Franz wasn't the first butt on network? No, God no. It would just be the one we would remember, for obvious reasons.

Yeah. Well, it's the best butt. He's a legend. Sorry, it's the butt that we most prefer. Yes. There's no such thing as a best or worst butt. All right, so it was a show where it was like, we're gonna curse a little and we're gonna show butts. And I think it was like, we're gonna be the steamy ABC

and we're gonna get people back from cable watching networks again. But I think Fran's butt was a big deal because it was the first maybe time you saw a regular-looking person's butt on TV. I don't even know what you mean by that. Yeah, what's reg? What's regular? Yeah. It was just's regular? Yeah.

It was just like regular Chicago beef. It was fly over butt, and nobody's seen fly over butt. I mean, the real scandal was that she starts jayin' him off. Is it? I think it was like, I'm gonna soap you up. She's just washing him. Yeah. But she's touching his privates with her head. Come on, Seth. How naive are you, brother? Look, you guys, I'm gonna soap you up. She's just washing him. Yeah, but she's touching his privates with her hand. Come on, Seth, how naive are you, brother? Look, you guys, I refuse to believe

that Sippowitz was getting his Sippowitzed. That works perfectly, and I thank you for bringing it. No, no, no, no, no, no. You appreciate it trying, right? Yes, yes. And did they, they said shit on the show, maybe? That was the curse word? Yeah, I think they said shit.

And they wouldn't do that now? No, they wouldn't do it now. They've gone backwards. Do you think that's what it's all about? That's what the America were trying to get back to, I think. You know what, you know why Dennis Franz could retire? Why? Because he got paid a fortune to be on the show for 10 years. Guess how many episodes of NYPD Blue Dennis Franz did?

Um, 200. 261. Jesus Christ! Whoa! Yeah. Okay, now guess what the internet says his net worth is. That's that Fran's money. What's Fran's money right now? 50. I'm gonna go 25. This is saying 35. Right in between. I don't think that's right. But it's never right. There was the most, it used to be when you were driving into Chicago, I apologize that I don't know exactly what the product,

I felt like it was a suit store in Chicago. Like Baron Holtz, feel free to send in a voice note, tell me how wrong I am. But it was the four Chicago actors on this mural, it was like black and white, beautifully painting, and it was Dennis Franz, Joe Mantegna, Dennis Farina. By the way, the fact there's two out of four Dennis's is the most Chicago. I was going to say. And Bill Peterson, who is a CSI. That's a beautiful painting.

It was just the best. It was just like four Chicago dudes come get suits and look like us. Fuck that rules. It was really cool. Seth, did you just sort of like subtly let us know that Ike listens to the cast? I actually don't know if he does. Yeah. Okay. I don't know either. He's never mentioned it to me. So maybe that's a no.

I just saw him. He was at my house like two days ago. Yeah. Gonna say if he was, if he does listen to the cast. Well, it's, I can say it even if he doesn't. He's great on the studio. Yeah. When he says, uh, obviously get the fuck out of the way. It's one of the best moments I've seen on TV in a long time. Uh, yeah, he's fantastic on that show.

Also, I like that Ike is also clumsy and angry in real life, so it's pretty fun. Harness some of his natural abilities. Yeah, the scene of him with his daughters at Musso made me laugh really hard too. I'm so sad. Just getting absolutely shit on. It was too real. It was too real. Well, he's got three daughters and I've actually like gone to like a nice restaurant in New York with his daughters, because he and his wife and his daughters came to the city to

like go to like Broadway shows and I met him for dinner. And Ike is the best because he just like, he orders the way he would order for eight guys at a steakhouse for like him and his wife and three daughters. Yeah. And they're much, they're younger than the ones too. They're just like, yeah. There's like four-year-olds in there being like, I don't need lobster. Yeah, they're like 10 to four. And he's like, I think we're gonna need a two shrimp cocktails.

No, you don't. Also like his first real moment in the pilot where he finds out he doesn't get the job, and he's like, hang on a second. I forget who he says is calling him, but it's like a famous actor. He's like, oh, I gotta take this. It's so-and-so. And he walks into his office, starts crying, and then does a bump of coke, and then walks back out

and goes, all right, let's do this. He's a little sad, too. He's a little sad. He's super upset. Yes, it's unhinged. He's lost. Hey, Yorm isn't going to make it, but he did send in a voice note from his sister-in-law, who has, I think,

some thoughts about the Frasier theme song. Yeah, she's a massive Frasier fan. Again, this is now barely a podcast about digital shorts. Well, if it's just about Frasier and Dennis Frans, that's a podcast I'm interested in. Yeah, certainly you're interested to speak. All right, it's 49 seconds. Here's Emily Heller, who's a very funny person.

A comic and comedy writer in her own right. Yes. Here we go. Hi guys, this is your miss sister-in-law Emily, or as the Quaid army might know me, the girl who acted like she'd never seen a 10 before in Lazy Sunday. And I'm actually calling in to talk about

the Frasier theme song. You guys were really, really close to figuring out the meaning of the tossed salad and scrambled eggs. It is a metaphor for the collars on Frasier's radio show. They're both mixed up. Tossed salad, scrambled eggs, they're things you can't undo. It sort of represents the problems that he has to solve. Apparently they didn't want to explicitly talk about psychiatry in the theme song, so that's why they did it as a metaphor. Anyway, love the show.

I love that. That was so helpful, and I do feel like it just felt like a giant key turning in a lock. It felt satisfying to just be told definitively. I was making that up on the fly when we got asked that. I also feel like I'm surprised there's not an expression. Well, you can't untoss a salad. That sounds like if you just said that in a sentence, I would have believed it was a preexisting thing.

It's you just can't un, what is the real one? Like you can't crack an egg, no. There's a real one that is basically the same thing, but. Hey, Yoram sent that and said from Emily about the Frasier theme song, She's a Massive Fan. Do you think that means she's a massive Emily about the Frasier theme song. She's a massive fan Do you think that means she's a massive fan of the Frasier theme song or the podcast? No Frasier of Frasier She is for sure. I'm not even joking. I I don't know much about Emily personally I mean we've hung out many times, but I don't know that many details except that she loves Frasier

It's like a main tenet of the things I know about, for real. Yeah, yeah, cornerstone of the personality. Exactly. So thanks for that, Emily. All right, so back to Laser Cats. Should we re-watch it to remember? Because we watched it a week ago, just to remember all the details. Yeah, yeah.

Let's do an old fashioned stop and pause. Yeah, let's do a live watch. Yeah, let's do it. I agree. And jack up the volume so we can actually hear how it's playing. Oh yeah, so we can hear the single laughs. We want to hear each individual audience member.

I just don't want Andy later to be like, the volume was low. Oh my God. You know me well. Keev, will you dismiss YouTube TV, try it free? Or try it free? Or should I? I don't know, yeah, you could try it free.

Let me log in. Hey Lauren, you busy? No, no, come in. Oh, great. You know, I get a little tired of this amateur night stuff, so some film people and I went out and shot a short video that I'd like to air. Would that be okay?

I like that there's the three amigos poster in the background that's always been in Lauren's office as long as I've ever known him. Yeah, that's very nice. I like seeing it on TV. And there one of the amigos is right in front of it. Yeah, one of the amigos. That's nice.

Very cool. Uno amigo. It's already playing of the amigos. That's nice. Very cool. Uno amigo. It's already playing on multiple levels. That's how deep and cool this thing is. Yeah, just not one of those levels is not laughs. Yeah, comedy's not it. Yeah, but you know what I will say? I like Lauren's performance up top here.

I like his little look he gives after the amateur hour line. And I also like him saying, Steve, whatever you want, because it feels very real. I also think this is a real gym going Lauren era. He's filling out that sweater real nicely. Oh, okay. Agreed. And we've got an odd, you know,

we don't like light these things, so there's a purple light coming through the window. Is that Radio City? What is that? Bless me. It's beautiful. Steve, whatever you want. Great.

Lauren, I present to you, Lizard Cats. Laser Cats. Laser Cats. Appreciate the like Huey Dewey Louie blocking of you guys in this doorway on top of each other. Yeah, very nice. But I will say there was not, obviously at this point,

everyone knows a laser cat is coming. And yet there did not seem to be a gasp of. Let's go back and listen for it. I won't talk over it. Okay, this is an audience hearing they're gonna see a laser cat. Lauren, I present to you, lizard cats. Laser cats.

Laser cats. Yeah. It does get a small laugh on the actual joke of this guy mispronouncing something, but it does not get a recognition. Woo! Clap, clap. No, it gets like eight people laugh. Yeah, OK.

Now we're off and running, though. In the it gets like eight people laugh. Yeah, okay. Now we're off and running though. In the future, there was a nuclear war, and because of all the radiation, cats developed the ability to raise their center of the mouth. Sometimes people in the past had even just clapped on this part, being like, yeah, it's opening credits. Right. Nothing this time.

It's real quiet. Well, you get laughs on it because they don't know what it is, so it's good that we did the credits again. Yeah. Yeah. It's getting a little in there. That was a executive produced by Steve Martin shoved in there and that gets a, you know, these are tepid laughs. It's a laugh, but that's a laugh. That's a solid laugh. It's a solid laugh.

You're right. The volume's too low. On the mics that recorded the audience back then. Behind these doors, gentlemen, I give you the future of laser combat. Half human. A Robocop opening. Half laser cat. Half Robocop. I give you Cyberface.

Be not alarmed. I have him under control. Cyberface! Oh! Oh! Be not alarmed, I have them under control. Error! Error! Error! Oh! Error! Error! Error! Error! So that's great.

I mean, we like that long pause before the second shooting. So we saw Keenan came out of the elevator as a Robocop, but he's got like Gatling guns, is that what they're called? Like six cats on each arm. It is that moment from the first Robocop or second Robocop? I think first one. First. Where he's doing a demo and it goes bad.

And it's one of the most shockingly enjoyable things I remember ever seeing in a movie theater. Oh yeah. Definitely. You do not think things are gonna just go terribly wrong right in the first... And it's really bloody and gruesome. Yeah, RoboCop fucking shreds. Hey, quick Paul Verhoeven side note. Can I just jump in real quick?

Yeah. You know, while you guys were talking about Hauser Hauser last week, somebody also said Paul Verhoeven directed Total Recall, also directed... Starship Troopers. Right. Starring... Neil Patrick Harris. And you know what his name was in that movie?

No. Douglas. No. No, it wasn't. No. That would change things in my mind on how the world works. I would have actually run out into the street if that was true. Oh, my God.

All right, now it says, meanwhile on Mars. Best vacation ever. Can you pause it real quick? You're exactly the same position as you are in your Corona ads. What? Yeah, Bill's playing Snoop. Basically, if hater with Snoop Dogg gets your Corona ad.

So you're saying they owe me money. I'm saying somebody owes you money. Yeah, I shouldn't have done them for free. Right. We haven't done the Weekend of Bernie's, whatever it's called, DeNiro one yet, right? Oh, Party at Mr. Bernard's? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you for remembering the title.

I can't believe you thought we had. This vibe is definitely that same thing. Listen, I think about that one constantly. So in my mind. I love that one. I stand by that one, yeah. All right, so you guys are just chilling on a beach on Mars.

This is the prototype for it. This vibe that Bill, especially, you have of like eighties bros. Yep. Mars devs have its perks. Say, do you want to sob here? What's up with the necklace? This old thing?

My no good father gave it to me before he left me and my mom. Years ago. I'm liking it. Yeah. There are floating chairs and there's real story. We've had a very clean cold open that has set up the... This is very clean, like, movie storytelling here.

Also, I should note the beach has sort of a red patina across it, so we know we're on Mars. Yeah, the beach on Mars. And you have shown half of a, of a what? Necklace. That's like a best friends forever necklace. It's like we're in Annie territory again, like last week. Right. With Rooster. And I will say, I was taken out of Maverick because I had recently seen Annie.

Right. I don't think you're alone in that. Yeah. You're like, this is the guy that grows up to try to steal Annie? I never trusted Miles Teller's character in Maverick cause I thought he was, I thought he was the son of Rooster the con man from Annie. Got it. Goose had a small rooster style mustache.

Rooster meaning Tim Curry in Annie style mustache, right? Yeah. Didn't Goose? Yeah. Did Rooster also have a mustache? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe Rooster was Goose's dad. Or Hear Me Out, they're the same person named Gooster.

Okay. Hear Me Out, that was all I had to say. All right. Gooster is your Guster cover band. Mm-hmm. But it's all, the parody lyrics make everything into Goose stuff. Or, or is Gooster a booster seat for a Goose?

Oh, a Gooster. When you travel with your geese. Yeah. Do you put them... In a Gooster a booster seat for a goose? Oh, a Gooster. Trav, when you travel with your geese, do you put them in Gooster geese? Sorry, my geese that are not yet big enough and heavy enough to just sit in the normal seats with a seatbelt. Yeah, your baby geese. Can I also say one of my favorite things

from the last podcast, and I know I'm interrupting the flow of Laser Cats 4. Um, another thing I really loved from the last pod was you just being shocked that two people are named Anthony Edwards, which are just like the most normie name. It is a really common name, but two famous people. Two famous people that I'm very well aware of both,

and I had never made the connection. That's more what I was saying. It, I was thinking like if a school assembly, if kids thought Anthony Edwards was coming. And then they were like, make some noise, you know Ms. Mark Green from ER. I guess still sign my basketball. Then do you think when he walks on stage

and the other people on the stage are all the basketball, that's everybody in the basketball uniforms? And he's like, ah, again, not a gonk. Back to Laser Cats four. I like your wardrobe. uniforms and he's like, again, not a gunk. Back to laser cats for, uh, I like your wardrobe. I'm just gonna say we're doing a beach scene and all we did was put Hawaiian shirts on top of your heavy normal wardrobe. If you're still wearing a jumpsuit, you're wearing arm pads and knee pads. Yeah.

Whole deal. All right. Here we go. Work never rests. Work never rests. Cyborg. Don't hate. Work never rest. Cyborg? Don't hate white. We're in some sort of minority report.

Sounds like a cat-tastrophe. All right, so now you're immediately just, we do a hard cut from Mars to now you're just trying to find Cyberface. Yeah, you got the call to action. Here we are. These guys are, they're cops and they got their case. I, you got the call to action. Here we are. These guys are, they're cops and they got their case. I'm gonna jump in now and defend LaserCats, which I think we all agree is not something

that comes as first nature to me. But second nature, I guess is the way they say it. So I always think that cocking the cats deserves a laugh and it gets nothing here, which really makes me think this is based on the audience, not how this. Right. Got this got it all right here we go partner switching to cold mode that's one cool cat I mean it's it's A plus. It's A plus.

Not a lot of laughs, but it is a very well executed sequence and I like watching it. Yes. The fire extinguisher is shooting out of the cat for those people not watching it along with us. And it freezes a lock on the door and the lock falls off. And then he blows on the top of the cat

and it makes the sound of an empty beer bottle. Support comes from Factor. Hey guys, it's just Seth, but we can still have fun with the ads. And I'm going to tell you right now, you can make this your best season yet with nutritious two-minute meals from Factor. Eating well has never been this easy. Just heat up and enjoy giving you more time to do what you want. But Seth, I want to hear the whole lonely island, but guys, it would just slow us down. Because guys, I want to tell you that there's 45 weekly menu options. You can pick gourmet meals that fit your goals.

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I Will say my favorite, you know as we've established We don't like any of the emails about this podcast or any of the texts they make us miserable and sad That's in the scheduling when people talk to us about the podcast. Hey, that's why we keep doing it makes us so happy Right, but my favorite thing this week was you guys asking if we could have a shot of Dennis Frans's butt in the YouTube video, and Jeff saying, we thought we might have a copyright issue.

It wasn't even in the YouTube, it was that I just wanted the sound in the background when we're describing the butts. I wanted to hear very quietly the sound of the shower and of her saying, getting in him going, whoa, I'm usually just me in here. Yeah, and I used to be clean there by someone else either. Yeah, I usually do that part myself.

Yeah. Hands off the Sipowicz. Oh yeah. I'm still trying, but it's not working. Double down on it, respect. No, I like that. I like him getting his lawyers being like, they're using my dialogue.

I used to be Quaid Army till they ripped me off. There you go. Did he have his Chicago accent in the show? He kind of did. He weirdly kind of did. But was he from, was he supposed to be from New York or did they just write that he was from Chicago? I think he was just from Chicago.

Yeah, why not? Here's a question. Do you think SNL folks last week or two weeks ago discussed doing a sketch called Chicago Pope, like Chicago Hope? I was very worried about it because I did the NBC upfronts. For those who don't know, this is at Radio City where NBC presents to 6,000 advertisers what their slate of shows and programming is going to be for the year.

And I do five minutes of jokes at it. And I had a Chicago Pope joke that felt like, oh, somebody's already made this joke and they probably did one on SNL. And I like looked everywhere and then I thought, ah, I'll just go ahead with it and played hotter than any joke I had. What was the joke Seth?

It was like, it's a big year for NBC. Got the Olympics, the NBA, Chicago Pope, people there, lost their mind. And then I said, you know, Dick Wolf's on the phone with the NBA, Chicago Pope, people there, lost their mind. And then I said, you know, Dick Wolf's on the phone with the Vatican right now, saying he wants a cut. I'm saying you never would have even thought about this. I have both done that at Upfronts and joined you while you were doing it at Upfronts.

That's right. Yeah, the year I hosted the Emmys, I was the actual Upfronts guy. Not the hottest audience. 6,000 advertisers at 10. front guy. Not the hottest audience. 6,000 advertisers at 10.30 AM on a Monday morning in New York City. I enjoyed it though. It's so low stakes in that way.

It is low stakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is like the least seen your material is going to be considering the venue. Yes. When we went to the Fox ones, I think, when Brooklyn and I was still on Fox, I think Pitbull came out and did like four songs. Definitely. That was a funny way to see Pitbull doing four songs.

Mr. Worldwide. There's a cat on a room that's banging around. Cyberface should be just up ahead. There's Simon Rich in the mirror holding the camera. According to this, Cyberface is in this room. And then he sees himself and reframes the shot. The detail there. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff in here.

Every now and then you forget that another element of Laser Cats is that it's poorly filmed. On purpose though. Yeah, yeah, of course. It's childhood fantasy. It's wish fulfillment of like, you know, when you make your home videos as a kid. Yeah, 100%.

But it gets a nice laugh, I'm just saying. But I like that we had to cast Simon Rich. It would make more sense if it was, I guess you are Bill, but you're on camera, and then me and Yorm is not. It just was funnier having it be Simon for some reason, I don't know why. Because he looks like a little kid. Yeah. Like you would got your little brother to film this. Just fully see the SNL writer assistant at his desk. Whoa! Where he come from? Welcome to the terror gnomes.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Cut's back to Lauren watching. Playtime is over. Looks like we're done for, Chino-Sabi. This is another cameo from Rachel Lynn's brother? Yeah, Joe. From Joe. Pretending like he walked into the shot. Yeah, runs in and walks out.

Yeah. No! No! No! Deactivating. Cyberface deactivates. Yeah, well it went from kill mode to love mode. Yeah. Something about your face, the facial recognition kicked in.

Yeah. Because he's part human. He still has a human part deep inside, like the RoboCop in the movie. Yeah. I think about how Forte says cyberface a lot. Yeah. Cyberface!

I like that. Son? Dad? There he is! Take him down! The whole editorial staff there has stormtrooper types. Yeah, we got Matt Youngs. Who else we got in there? I think we got Mike Poole in there.

Yeah, little Mike Poole. Both still there. No! Alright, so the shooting keen in the Cybertron right at the moment when he had just turned good. Getting shot and it cranks in his slow-mo and there's just a random person walking by in the background. No, stop! You're killing him! I do like this. It does have a nice arc here. Yeah. It's human-side work. No.

Take off his robo helmet. It was just a mask, now it's Steve Martin. Yeah. Yeah, you take off the glasses and it's like taking off the Darth Vader mask. Yeah. Dad? I'm sorry I left you, son. It's okay, Dad.

Don't die. Nitro, take this. Your brother has the other half. Oh, he pushes his own cheek and it says self-destruct. His cheek is a self-destruct button, I guess. Good thing he's never done that before on accident. But I don't have a brother. This is great. This is good storytelling.

Yeah. That I don't have a brother and then looks down at it and the music and the other half of the Annie necklace. It's very strange that he uses his time to not say you guys are brothers and instead gives half of it to Nitro and lets him figure it out. No, it's not strange.

It's exactly what Cyberface would do. That's true. Yeah, he has a flair for the dramatic. Yeah. Yeah. Shhh. Bro's Forever. It's a flair for the dramatic. Ha ha ha ha ha. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] Bros forever.

Whoa. He's got a rocket ship. Good night, sweet princes. Let me explode, let me splash. I will say my favorite part, the self-destruct. You know he's gonna blow up. It says two, one, self-destruct. And I had no memory of what happened. You guys get hit with the tiniest amount of blood.

Just spread it. Like one ketchup packet's worth of blood. A controlled little squirt, yeah. He's a robot, but he still had some blood. He's a robot with a tiny little bit of blood. The end. Right? Pretty mind-blowing, huh? He's a robot with a tiny little bit of blood. The end. Right?

Pretty mind-blowing, huh? If you get that it's King Lear, get out. That got the laugh on, get out. Yeah, I thought you meant me too. I did. That's fine. Classic Steve. I don't know, it's not too clapped at the end, Seth. You misremembered.

That's the real deal. I was giving it, I think it got two claps. Go back to just when it ends. When the laser cats end and Steve says the line. That's maybe what it was. A little applause break, right? Is what you're looking for. Okay.

I'll go back one more second there. Right? Pretty mind blowing, huh? That's like ten claps. Yeah, but it's not allowing you to end because the visuals are continuing. It's not allowing you to end. It's not allowing you to end. It's not allowing you to end.

It's not allowing you to end. It's not allowing you to end. It's not allowing you to end. It's not allowing you to end. It's not allowing you to end. It's not allowing you to end. It's not claps. Yeah, but it's not allowing you ten, because the visuals are continuing. I was gonna say 13. Okay. Yeah, let's agree somewhere between 10 and 13. All right.

I will say it's a very well-crafted Laser Cats. Plot-wise. It doesn't bring the house down, but it's got a lot of nice moves. And when you think about how integral the fact that you guys realized you were brothers is to the future Laser Cats. It's pivotal. Well, I mean, it's a lot of nice moves. And when you think about how integral the fact that you guys realized you were brothers is to the future laser cats. It's pivotal. Well, I was gonna mention this, never brought up again.

Definitely did a lot of world building in this one. It might get brought up again, I don't remember. Look, we all know when you're making a series, you gotta reset the premise. Reset it. Hold on, hold the phone, we got a really important link coming in hot. You gotta reset the premise. Reset it. Yeah. Hold on. Hold the phone. We got a really important link coming in hot.

Oh. Jeff writes, someone found the promo. Oh. Sharing screen. Hold a moment. Wait, this is the NYPD Blue promo? Yes. Oh, the butt promo.

Oh my god, we're going to watch it, guys. Last week, you got your first look at Bobby Simone. You think you're at a Lone Ranger? This week, he shows what he's made out. Back off! And so does Andy Sipowicz. I usually shower alone. You want me to do?

NYPD Blue, Tuesday, viewer discretion advised. Oh, man. So it showed him in the shower with her, so you knew things were going to be... It showed Jimmy Smiths roughing people up, so you're like, damn, this guy's going to be violent. And then it showed him in the shower, and it says, due to adult language and partial nudity, viewer discretion is advised. So that was, they were gonna say shit,

they were gonna show butt. And Caruso famously left after one season, he kind of Chevy chased it, and there was a lot of similar sentiment of like, why are you leaving? You have one season of a hit show and you're out of here? I believe he left after one season, right? He did, he left after one season,

then he did that weird movie Jade, which was, I feel like, a Nicolas Cage movie. Didn't work. But then in the end, he left all the way to the bank, because he did a CSI. So this is a bit of a bait and switch, because they were like, hey, you like David Caruso's ass? Come on back.

And then they're like, for this ass, it's just as good. It's a regular ass. What, you don't think it's regular? What's regular to you? Yeah. Something like that. That was all in the promo. Yeah.

And then when he first meets Jimmy Smith's character, he's like, what are you, the Lone Ranger? And then later in the promo, he says, you're going to see my ass soon. It's just a matter of time. That's how it works here in this precinct. The butts come out. Assuming you're watching the show on ABC,

where butts are allowed now. Lone Ranger, you better be working on your butt, because it's coming up next season. People would do NYPD Blue screening parties. You would just have people come over to your house on Tuesday night at 10 p.m. Eastern, 9 p.m. Central, and as soon as a character would come on screen, people would just start going,

-"Show it! Show it!" -"Oh, yeah." Yep, they'd sometimes just have to chant through the entire episode. And they're all doing their press tour, and they're like, "'So, you show your butt this year?" And you're like, "'You know, it really is more about the stories. I'm kind of surprised everyone's so focused on the butt stuff. That definitely happened. Yeah.

Oh, I don't want to talk about the butt stuff. You know, these are amazing writers and crew. In case it wasn't clear, she wasn't just washing it. She was jerking it. That's their Comic-Con panel. All right, let's set the record straight. Ah! Show of hands, who thought she was just putting a little soap on it, okay? And who thought she was giving it a full tongue?

There you go, you're in the right. Oh, fuck. On the set, it was interesting. I was actually just wearing swimsuit, and she just moved her hand in front, and I kept being like, whoa. But, yeah, that's movie making for you. I was pretending. Just Chicago to his core.

So, LaserCats 4, Criterion? Only if the age-old question of, Do they go on a bunch? Do they all go in one category together. By the way, I went in the Criterion closet the other day. Oh, you did a thing? You recorded a deal? Yeah.

That's exciting. What'd you pick? All right, guys, I gotta go. That was it, time's up. When you hear the kids, that was it. All right, well, we could sign off. Well, Keev, we're the only ones left. Yeah, it's just us.

We got tricked into doing a podcast and pretty much can't get everyone on one now. It's very difficult, but we do it for the Quades. We're just like Gaga doing it for her monsters, you know? It's exactly the same and we take it that seriously. It's very difficult, but we do it for the Quades. We're just like Gaga doing it for her monsters, you know? It's exactly the same, and we take it that seriously. It's selfless. It is selfless. And let me just say to you, I appreciate you.

Hey, I appreciate you too. And now that it's just us, I'll tell you this. I think you're the funniest. Oh, thank you, man. I think you're the funniest. Oh, you don't have to say that. We all know that's not true. All right, Seth's back, but he can't find the mic. He's literally, his headphones on,

he can hear me, but he's scrambling, looking around. Somehow the mic has totally disappeared. It's like, what is this? The Max comedy special, Dad Man Walking? You mean the HBO, soon to be HBO Max. All right, we've reverted. This dad is walking, and he's a man. He is upright, he's walking on two feet. Hey, save it for your next special, Seth. All right, well, you know, I was tired this one, like I said to you guys at the beginning,

I didn't sleep much last night. And so, you know, that's what it is when we do podcasts and everyone's just kind of living together. Hey, maybe some of the Quaids were tired, write it with your comments, were you tired this week listening? I don't know. Yeah, let of the Quays were tired. Write in with your comments. Were you tired this week listening? I don't know. Yeah, let us know if you were tired this week

while you were listening. And also let us know if you had energy going in, but then listening to this made you tired, because I would understand that too. Was this a sleepy thing? There's plenty of room for these to be sleepy. Yeah. I mean, I think, you know, not to be judging in real time,

but I think we can all agree this episode was kind of a dusty fart. But I think we can all agree this episode was kind of a dusty fart. BOTH LAUGH You're saying it while it's not. Listen. All right, Keith, love you. All right, love you, bud. Bye.