The Luke and Pete Show - A victim of a milky hate crime
Episode Date: August 27, 2020Today’s episode is quite the menagerie - Luke and Pete hear news on the baby gorilla born at Bristol Zoo and we talk about a Greenland shark who’s lived for almost four hundred years. Plus, w...e’ve got a discussion about a Satanic peadophile death cult, Luke has some info on the Japanese credit card crisis, Pete tells a story about the Ninja Museum and we hear from a listener who got in some real trouble on his trip to Death Valley!The emails we’re getting at the moment are top tier, keep them coming! It’s hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.***Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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it's back to the luke and the peach show my name is pete i'm joined by luke moore how the devil are
you on this thursday my sir i'm all right thanks i'm not too bad good ran out of steam there did
you really not already we've got another half hour to go yet things last week on death valley
um how's your week been luki I went briefly to the seaside and
I stayed in a
eco-hotel, which means
it's basically like a normal hotel
but it's reduced the
level and courtesy of
service to save money
but also the planet.
Right, okay. So what do you think is their priority?
Do you think it's the planet or the money?
Not giving me a kettle, selling me a bamboo toothbrush.
You couldn't do any pork noodles?
Couldn't do any pork noodles, little hotel pork noodles.
Yeah, and it's twice as expensive because you are subsidizing tax breaks for them,
presumably, for being an eco hotel.
Yeah, it was very nice, but I didn't roll my ankle,
which I usually do on beach holidays.
It was all very, very pleasant.
It was all very lovely.
Very nice.
I was fascinated by the idea of what separates an eco-hotel
from normal hotels.
It is just reduced level of service for twice the price.
Pete, you're starting to sound like one of them.
You're starting to sound like Jeremy Clarkson there, mate.
Look, they always say you get more extreme
and more right wing as you get older.
I just think, you know.
Not possible for you, that.
No, mate.
I'd have to go right round to infinity
to come back to left wing.
Yeah.
I'm really, QAnon is like a fucking joke to me, mate.
Yeah.
Far too liberal for your taste, right?
I was outside.
QAnon, though, as far as I know about it, which isn I was outside. As far as I know about it, though, which isn't much,
but as far as I know, QAnon isn't really left or right.
It's just mad.
It's just madness, isn't it?
Yeah, but if you were going to pick which side,
I would say they're more kind of like twitchy,
gun-toting maniacs more than...
You definitely see them more on the right side than the left, but I do agree.
They're just wacky fuckers.
4chan wasn't extreme enough for them.
8chan neither, so they went over to Q1.
But did you see all those people outside the...
the Royal Family's residence?
Buckingham Palace?
Buckingham Palace.
I can't even remember the name of Buckingham Palace? Buckingham Palace. If you can't even remember
the name of Buckingham Palace.
It's got hot.
We do two shows concurrently.
I've got hot, all right?
Unless you want me to take my shirt off
in the studio,
I'll take my shirt off.
Do it, yeah.
Fine, I'll do that.
I'll do it, fine.
Yeah, there was loads of people
shouting paedophile, paedophile
into the palace of the weekend.
That was fun.
Not really reported on the news, though, I noted,
which is a bit weird.
But the thing is, people always say this, right?
So people always say, I'm not having to go at you here,
but people always say, oh, you won't read about this
in the news, or you didn't see this on the news.
There was only 20 people.
Yeah, but sometimes I think there's quite a lot
of news happening at the moment.
They can't cover absolutely every street
in every city in the world so i understand what
their editorial decisions sometimes that don't go the way that people want and it's hard
and it's annoying but i know enough about the media and i know enough people working in news
media to tell you that they are like a lot of them are doing their best and it is fucking hard
all right so when you sit around your pants on twitter wondering why some knobhead has chipped
off about something and it's
not on the BBC news, there could be
lots of reasons for it.
Here's the front page of the BBC at the moment.
Students' belongings binned
by halls of residence. Why do
medieval royal charters still control
us?
And who is the
cutest cartoon animal of the 21st century?
Big stories! Important stuff! themselves there but and who is the cutest cartoon animal of the 21st century big stories important
stories no other game will make you scream as loud what game do you think they're talking about
no other video game will make you scream as loud luke video games are your thing is it super mario
world it's not it's a game called fall guys which is a very popular one that's uh doing a lot of
business online can i can i just can i just circle back around to the QAnon thing just very, very quickly?
Yeah, of course, mate.
Because I know someone quite well whose cousin is like balls deep in the QAnon stuff, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I have to admit, you know, Pete, this is not really my area.
And I kind of found out over a beer or two sort of what it was.
And I've seen the pictures of the soldiers posing with Mike Pence with the Q sign.
And I've seen the marches and seen the signs and the placards and stuff.
But I didn't really ever properly get to the bottom of it and know what it was about until this guy told me.
And he said, said look my cousin
who i don't really speak too much uh he's involved he's well into it and and i said okay fine so i
looked him up on instagram and he had put a post on there i just tried to look it up but he's
deleted it sadly but i can remember what it said he based a whole long thing about how um that
donald trump is trying to save the world's children
from a satanic cult of paedophiles being operated
from within the deep state, what they call the deep state
in the American government.
And the reason I say that, is that really left-wing or right-wing?
Is because it is so mad that I don't really know if it's...
We've got to the point now, and I'm someone who's interested
in politics.
I study politics.
I don't know where on the schedule
or where on the platform to put this.
It's always, I was watching the film,
is it Legend with the Krays,
the film about the Krays.
Yeah, I haven't seen it.
It was on film four.
I'll hide me a fresh suit.
Yeah.
He, they talked about when,
I was sort of reading about their deaths
because I didn't actually know.
I was in the middle of the film.
I was like, can't be asked to wait at the end of this.
How do they die?
One of them died, I think, in Broadmoor.
The other one was, I think he was chucked out abroad
more a few weeks before he died of cancer, I think.
Anyway. He got a sympathetic release, didn't he? Like, compassion. Yeah more a few weeks before he died of cancer I think. Anyway. He got a sympathetic release didn't he? Like compassion. Yeah.
Yeah about six weeks before he died.
And
I would have taken that leave sooner.
Just know that I'm going to die of some kind of cancer.
Just let me out now for a few weeks.
Let me back in.
But yeah when the
when the Krays died
you know people applauded because they were happy that their reign of terror was now over.
But they also, some people sort of said, well, look, they had a real kind of attention to keeping the streets safe from pedophiles.
Now, we all know the 70s.
We all know the 80s.
I certainly know the 80s.
And there was a hell of a lot more pedophiles around,
certainly, plying their trade in the streets more than there are now.
Is it a trade?
Obviously.
If done right.
If done right.
That's foul.
But what I'm saying is that right, actually,
quite problematic individuals always have this kind of like,
I'm looking after the kids.
I'm keeping
yourself from the pedophiles it's the thing that the sun's obsessed with it's the thing that um
the fucking the the the fascists on twitter are obsessed with the fucking the grooming gangs and
all that stuff in rotherham yeah it's the one thing that that unites problematic individuals
they're not bothered about you know people dying in the sea they're not people they're not bothered about anything actually they just use that one glimmer of
humanity that i'm looking after the kids in the pit and keeping them safe from the pedophiles i
don't know why that appeals to them so much especially when frequently these right-wing
organizations have a lot of pedophiles in their ranks yeah it's not i don't think it's bizarre
but is it not just a vehicle it's just just a vehicle, isn't it? Because really, if you were going to, you know,
if you're talking in broad brushstrokes here,
if you really were, what's the name of Tommy Robinson's lot?
I can't remember the name now.
Whatever they are, whatever they're called.
Yeah, yeah, that lot.
If they really cared about paedophiles,
they would be starting with the Catholic Church.
They wouldn't be starting with anywhere else.
Because, I mean, that's on record.
That's on paper.
You can look that up. There's no legal
problem with me saying that on this podcast
because that's quite well documented.
That's the first place you'd start,
but they don't because it's used as a vehicle
for something else.
On the QAnon thing,
when you
read about politics or you study it or whatever,
there's certain things that become
synonymous with certain movements, whether it be right-wing know, there's certain things that become, you know,
synonymous with certain movements, whether it be right-wing or left-wing.
So, for example, as an example, again, in very broad terms,
you'd say, well, in America, on the right, they prefer small government, right?
They prefer less interference from government in their shit, right?
On the left, in the UK, they feel like the welfare state
is a really important thing.
These kind of things.
All I'm saying is satanic paedophile death cult does not appear on the list so i'm trying to find
out exactly how that even started because you if it's just made up on the internet by some weird
guy on a forum then we've got our priorities wrong and i'm speaking from someone who you know
on a very mild level gets his fair share of abuse on internet forums
right it shouldn't have got it shouldn't have got to that level where the vice president of the
united states is posing with people who have got those symbols on it shouldn't happen so i don't
think it's a left or right thing i think it's just the fact that we've all completely collectively
lost our fucking shit i don't know i think i think it is left right thing but i think the the the
satanic pedophile death cults are the uh just to distract from everyone's anti-semitism which seems to unite
everyone every every side i thought you mean sort of new world order type kind of conspiracy
series yeah yeah john sharrosh yeah okay yeah all that jazz yeah by the way can i i want to
completely change tack because um sometimes i'll prepare something to talk about here and it won't ever come into the discourse
because we've gone off on one.
But sometimes I'm so stubborn
and actually quite unprofessional
that I just want to bring it in anyway.
So I'm not linking this to anything else
we've just talked about,
but I want to bring two stories to the table
that I think you'll be interested in, mate.
One is, have you read that Japan... that's a terrible start sorry have you read
have you read that japan are running out of credit card numbers uh really what no i have not read
that so because they barely use them no because they only ever made three there's been a massive
surge in online shopping since the pandemic.
And Japan's credit card companies cannot for much longer keep coming up with original 16-digit numbers for their credit cards.
Now, the reason for this, I know people are going to think this sounds boring.
I don't think it is boring.
I think it's really interesting.
No.
The first six digits on a credit card have to be a certain set of numbers
to run concurrently with Visa or MasterCard, right?
They have to be 16 digits long, and the first six have to denote the country,
the brand, and some other information.
So that only leaves you 10 numbers left, right?
And credit card use in Japan is going through the roof, right?
And they want to double the amount of cashless payments to make it around 80%.
They've made some kind of government pledge
that by 2025, it'll be 80%.
But what's happening is they're literally running out of numbers
and no one knows what to do.
It's almost like a credit card version of the Millennium Bug.
And we know all that turned out.
Loads of people almost, the world almost ended.
Yeah, I'm sure they can figure almost ended yeah i'm sure they can
figure it out i'm sure they can fix this because i would say that japan's is they're going to have
a lot of trouble because they are a massively um cashless um society sorry not a credit cardless
society they're very cash based so they're always just you know something we found with the pandemic
is people don't like to handle a lot of money um and so people in japan they seem they got the house with a couple of hundred quid in their pocket um and
they don't use credit cards very often yeah that's fascinating to me because i was reading when i
read about this story i was reading around it and it said that in south korea cashless transactions
are at 96 but in japan it's only 20 and i imagine we're probably at 50. Would you say we're 60?
60 cashless? I mean, I've literally just been guessing.
I've no idea.
Let's give them 60.
But the thing is that if credit card firms agree
that the best case scenario is to add a 17th digit,
they're still going to have to update 300 million 16-digit cards,
which will be so expensive that they don't really know what to do.
Well, just say that all of the cards made before 2021 are the number one
and everything made after 2021 will be the number two.
I think companies and stuff, they can only process one or the other otherwise it
won't be automated right okay look it's it's it's a shit show of someone's creation they should
really have thought this uh through because obviously japan's one of the most populous
countries weirdly uh on earth for its size and uh yeah they've had a stinker and they need to
sort their shit out to be fair the infrastructure the infrastructure in Japan is quite old. I would recommend going back to some kind of medieval bartering system.
Yeah, I think so.
Did you say that the Ninja Museum got robbed?
I didn't even know there was a Ninja Museum.
That sounds amazing.
There's a Ninja Museum in the middle of Japan
and it quite hilariously got robbed of all its money last week.
Where are your ninjas now, mate?
Where are your ninjas now?
Tell me about the Ninja Museum.
I've never been to it.
I've been to a ninja town, which is like a kind of village of...
Tell me about that then.
Shogun era, kind of people who protect, you know,
heads of state and buildings and stuff.
And that's really cool.
I just remember it being very small.
Like the ninjas must have been constantly on their haunches,
kind of like tiptoeing through their own homes.
But I like the, we've spoken about Japanese houses before being, you know, the discovery of glass and art business.
But I do like how quiet that country is.
It's very loud in the cities, but it's very quiet in the rural areas.
And just the idea of like ninjas sneaking home.
I get the impression, Pete, that my idea of what a ninja is,
which is essentially based on movies from the 90s and 80s video games like Ninja Gaiden, is probably completely incorrect.
Yeah, I imagine that people who are way more read up...
And to be honest, if you ever Google the word ninja,
the YouTube streamer Ninja has taken over all of those things.
But they were just basically like mercenaries back in feudal times.
Oh, so they were pretty cool then?
Yeah, they were pretty cool.
They were like spies or...
Did they have magical powers or not?
I don't think they had magical powers, no.
That was very much the reserve of the Japanese mages and warlocks.
And what's the difference between a ninja and a samurai?
Oh, I don't know, actually.
Samurai, I think, are just soldiers, aren't they?
But ninjas are more like...
Ninjas or shinobis are like kind of trained spies or mercenaries.
So, yeah.
Yeah, I thought the samurai were like the officer,
like officer class of like soldier or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Exciting though.
Exciting.
I don't know anything.
That's the thing about Japan.
I like their drinking culture.
Not really asked about their films or anything else
or video games or media.
You like their little hot tub things, jacuzzis and stuff.
The what? Little Japanese hot tub? I like the onsens. Yeah, they're cool. And you their little hot tub things, jacuzzis and stuff.
The what?
Little Japanese hot tub? Oh, like the onsens?
Yeah, they're cool.
And you like pot noodles.
And I like pot noodles.
No, I do like a cup noodle.
So there you go.
And can I bring one more story to the table,
which is completely unrelated,
but something that I think you will like.
There's been a baby gorilla born at Bristol Zoo, Pete.
Oh, I saw this.
It was very adorable.
It just appeared.
Yeah, it did actually.
And so the main alpha male at Bristol Zoo is called Jock.
I think I've talked about Jock before on this show.
I'm a big fan of Jock's.
My friend Duncan and Helen live in Bristol.
We go to Bristol Zoo quite a lot when I go visit.
And Jock's quite a famous uh gorilla there
he's a westland uh western lowland gorilla and um they hit the the the female gorilla carla
um gave birth to a new gorilla a while back i think it's a year ago or so but it died it died
after like a week and they couldn't really work out why so this time i know and last time that's
like an emergency c-section to get the baby gorilla.
But this time they knew she was pregnant.
They turned that one morning
and she was just there looking after it.
Oh, that's so lovely.
A surprise gift to the world.
And it's quite wicked when you go to Bristol Zoo
because the gorillas, when they come out for feeding time,
it's amazing.
It's amazing to see
the social hierarchy of a troop i don't know what i don't know what the collective now for
gorillas is but when you see a group of them together the social hierarchy is actually
really interesting yeah yeah well i mean you just see the big boys just kind of rolling around
i went to um leo a few weeks ago and uh i went to zoo. And what was that bird that we were talking about?
Naughty little bird with a long beak.
I can't remember.
Where did you go?
I think the naughty little...
Oh, well, Ibis.
Ibis.
An Ibis, yeah.
I saw an Ibis.
It was very exciting.
I forgot to tell you.
I saw an Ibis, Luke.
Where did you see an Ibis?
Lille.
Oh, right.
In France.
When was that?
Just over the border.
About three weekends ago. Oh, right. In France. When was that? Just over the border. About three weekends ago.
Oh, okay.
Before they did the shutdown.
But yeah, they had one of them.
Bin chicken.
Say again?
Bin chicken.
Yeah, exactly.
But it looked really, really cool.
And they were in with the Gibbons, I seem to recall, in Lille.
What?
It was very exciting.
That's a filing error.
I know. Yeah, they're just all in together. It's very exciting. That's a filing error. I know.
Yeah, they're just all in together.
To be fair, it was quite a hot day,
so the Gibbons were just lying on the floor going,
oh, I can't be arsed to do anything,
which is very disappointing.
That's the only reason why I wanted to go in,
to be quite frank.
Yeah, you love a Gibbon, don't you?
I do love a Gibbon.
Let's have a quick break,
and when we come back, Pete,
we can do that email I promised on Monday
about Death Valley.
It's quite a good one.
All right, then.
It's time for the Luke and Pete Short Part 2, How the Devil Are You?
I am Pete Donaldson, I'm joined by Luke Moore, and it is a Thursday.
Speaking of discovered animals, not jazz, Luke, before we get to the emails,
did you see that the Somali Sengi, a type of elephant shrew with a big long nose?
Oh, yeah.
It's not been...
We thought it had gone.
We thought it had become extinct.
It's not been since the 1960s,
but it was recently rediscovered by scientists
who lured them out from their rocky habitats
with peanut butter, oatmeal and yeast.
It came out for a bit of artisanal bread, Luke.
Yeah, hipster.
Bloody hipster with his big stupid nose.
And it was found in Djibouti.
Why couldn't you tell us sooner, Luke,
that it was in your Djibouti?
And also, it's a bit embarrassing for it
because it's called the Somali elephant shrew,
found in Djibouti.
Yeah.
The joke's on them.
I know.
I know, right?
Yeah, so it was apparently 50 years
after it was last seen.
52 years or something, yeah.
It's mad, that.
Do you remember that fish called Decelecanth?
You heard that story?
I've heard of the animal before.
So it kind of trumps the 50-year thing because I think...
So let me get this absolutely right.
So they thought it had been extinct since the end of the Cretaceous period,
which I think is when T-Rex was around, right?
And then another one was found in 1952.
So that is like 70-odd million years of people thinking something was extinct.
And it popped up.
So these things do happen.
They do happen, you know.
Did you see Mark Allen's email?
Go for it.
Hello at LukeandPeach.com.
Yeah.
Scrolling through Twitter could be a depressing pastime these days,
but here's a fascinating article I found about Greenland sharks
and their extraordinary lifespan.
Oh, yeah.
The photo from Twitter I have attached is by marine biologist
Julius Nielsen of a Greenland shark estimated to be 393
years old. Now, usually
I'd be like, how the, I mean, how the
heck do you start imaging that thing?
But 393 seems very
specific, so they must know.
They must know. And the picture,
it looks like it's made
out of fucking granite. It looks amazing.
It's been wandering the oceans
since 1627. It's the oldest living vertebrae known on the planet. It looks amazing. It's been wandering the oceans in 1627.
It's the oldest living vertebrate known on the planet.
What a picture.
What a beast.
I just want to make love to it.
I think they're completely blind as well.
I'm pretty sure we mentioned this maybe a year or two ago,
but I think they carbon date them or something.
They're able to work out pretty accurately how old they are.
I mean, that's a long time ago.
But they move really slowly as well, I think.
Yeah, I mean, you would at that age, wouldn't you?
So I get with the sea-decanter fish and with the kind of little tiny rodents
in really distant parts of the world, I kind of get it.
But if you look at the list of 25 there's a
list of um i can't remember the exact name for it but i think it's partly of a marketing thing to
maintain people's awareness but there's this thing called the world's 25 most wanted animals right
and it's about it's not they haven't committed crimes or whatever they just they just they just
think that they're um they just think that they're extinct cool to find out right and and i i kind of
get it if it's a fish because the ocean is massive and everything but i mean some of these animals
one of them's a kangaroo i mean you should fucking know if there's a kangaroo around or not
yeah did what did you say i i think um bonobos are only discovered as um separate species that's
right because they're only very slightly different right yeah in the in the it
was 1912 or maybe the 20s like that seems fascinating to me that they could you know
that they're completely they are different creatures they're very similar obviously but
um they are technically very very different they're the only animals i think that um witness
um mutual masturbation that's why you like them that's why i get that's why that's what i get up
to when i'm watching them.
Yeah, exactly.
One more quick thing on that is there's a,
so the Somali Sengi or Sengi was actually on the world's 25 list.
That's how I found out about the list.
So they've actually, they must be down to 24 now.
Maybe they put another one in there to replace him.
I don't know.
But there was, there's another, in the list,
there is an animal and maybe I'll throw it open to listeners to let us know,
hello at lukeandpeachow.com if you know any better than me,
which you almost certainly do, that in 1953 in the Philippines,
an animal was last seen called an Illin Island Cloud Runner, right?
Wow.
But it doesn't actually say in the write-up what type of animal it is.
It just says,
Surveys with locals have failed to reveal any further information
on the cloud runner.
The rediscovery of this species would be incredible
and would provide a glimpse into the life of a truly enigmatic creature
known from just one specimen that was purchased on Ealing Island in 1953.
It's never been sighted in the wild.
So I don't even know what it is.
So if anyone could tell me, that would be fantastic.
I think they've made one up just to make the list
a little bit more attractive.
I'm imagining the video game character Kirby.
Yes.
Until I'm disavowed of that.
Until I'm disavowed of that.
Imagine he looks like Dizzy.
It's like an egg with some welly boots.
Oh, I saw Dog of the Weekend that had Dizzy's eyes.
Dizzy's eyes. If you ever ever bought a dizzy game back in the day um on the spectrum he had um the
spectrum had a limited color palette so it used to be it used to be made up of green white and black
colors on the screen and he used to have very mournful eyes um compared to all of the other
versions um and uh it looked like dizzy he had dizzy's eyes and I was like, oh, Dizzy.
Was he bald like an egg? Dizzy from the 90s.
He wasn't bald like an egg.
He was hairy like a dog.
Oh, nice.
Let's do some emails.
I promised people a Death Valley email, didn't I?
And it's from Matt and he's probably been waiting all week
to hear it read out.
So he probably hasn't.
He's got other stuff on.
He says, hello to the third and fourth least sweaty people
in the UK behind Alistair Cook and Prince Andrew.
That's disappointing.
Yes.
With your talk of Death Valley temperatures,
I wanted to share a tale of temperature extremes
within a single day.
My wife and I took a road trip to West Coast, USA
as a final hurrah before our lives ended
and we had kids who are now seven and four.
Beautiful way of putting it.
We stayed in the aforementioned
furnace creek on a stopover in death valley and despite the name there was a very green golf course
and an outdoor swimming pool which was best avoided in the middle of the day
i bet i bet they use a lot of horses on that there's a reason why there's a bloody um california
um horseback band is that he said we spent our day of departure sightseeing in death valley and taking in bad water basin etc temperatures reached 120 fahrenheit plus and signs were
telling drivers to switch off their aircon at the risk of cars overheating a common refrain
from people who've been there um as we heard on monday he said we popped into the ranger station
for a lube break before we started the drive to yosemite only to find our route
through the tohoka pass was closed due to snow what we finally arrived at yosemite in the dark
after a 10 hour detour still in our shorts t-shirts and flip-flops from the earlier heat
it was then that we realized our accommodation was on the other side of the park and we started
to ascend into the mountains panic set in as the snow got thicker and the park gates we passed displayed more and more ominous warnings
saying four by fours only past this point our real worry was that we didn't want to be stupid
brick tourists dying in the snow in our beachwear we finally started to descend into the valley into
a thinner covering of snow and were rewarded when there was a break in the trees and right there in
front of us was the epic face of El Capitan,
which is a nice tie
into your free solo chat a while back.
He says,
love your work as ever.
When is the Vish and Pete show debuting?
Cheers, Matt.
Well, next time Luke's off, I imagine.
Yeah, maybe.
Luke really takes holidays,
so he could be waiting a long time.
Your bromance is with Andy Brass
or not Vish, though?
Yeah, I'll take anyone at this point in my life to be honest anyone noticing that i'm in the room uh i'll i'll i'll lavish as men get older they get more and more
invisible that's why they get more and more obnoxious um but you know imagine that though
pete you've gone from you've gone literally from 120 degrees Fahrenheit to being in trouble through snow in the same day.
That's mad.
It's like from the Vish and Pete show to the Luke and Pete show.
It's true.
You've got the smoking hot Vish and the icy cold Pete Donaldson.
Yeah, it's a weird one, isn't it?
Like I always say that the last time I was in Yosemite,
very dry heat, even when it gets hot in there,
very dry heat.
Yeah, that's what we said on Monday.
It's probably different, isn't it?
It doesn't feel as bad.
Yeah, enjoyable, enjoyable.
Have you got any other emails, Peter?
I have, yeah.
I've got one from Sean to probably, I imagine,
close us out.
Hi, the Luke and the Pete.
I want to tell you the story of an unresolved mystery
that happened to me and my family
approximately eight to nine years ago now. I presume now is when he's telling the story
when living in my when living in my parents house now uh we had a private driveway which stretched
about 50 meters long this meant the house was quite hard to spot from the road one day i arrived
home with one day i arrived home with my mom to find a packet of rice pudding on the ground
located near one of our cars.
Strange, nobody in our house ate rice pudding. Does anybody over the age of six years old?
We didn't think too much of it at the time because why would we?
Someone may have innocently dropped this rice pudding.
Anyway, over the next coming weeks, we noticed several other dairy products being left in the vicinity of our house,
like yoghurt, etc. But when anybody in the family found anything, they'd throw them away.
It was only afterwards when we discussed the situation
that people realized what they had seen.
However, the pinnacle of the situation
was that one day I went to my work van
to try to find a carton of custard
with the top perfectly chopped off,
as to suggest with the use of scissors,
and the thick lumpy liquid was rubbed by hand
all over the back of my work van.
What a strange thing for somebody to do.
I did what every normal person would do in that situation,
and I didn't mention it to anybody.
It was clearly a fact by one of my friends.
And rather than give them a satisfaction of admitting they got me,
I thought it would be best to remain silent on the matter
and let the culprit come to me.
A couple of months passes,
and I finally bring up the incident to people.
Everybody looks at me with bemusement, and i genuinely don't know anything of the situation um and
generally don't know anything the situation fast forward to today the mystery is still
completely unresolved i guess the mysterious dairy product creep is still on the large i hope this
story reads right i've hardly hardly slept after working nights uh keep up the good work gents
sean now is that an amazing combination of email
one who's up all night
to work in nights
and then it being read out
by you Donny
I'm just saying
that yeah it is
I'm just saying that
Sean hardly slept
after working nights
sounds like a fight club
Tyler Durden
kind of situation to me
yeah
who rubbed rice pudding
all over this window
who rubbed custard
all over the back of this Devon knows and if it's your first nightbed rice pudding all over this window? Who rubbed custard all over the back of this?
Devon knows.
And if it's your first night at Rice Pudding Club,
you have to bring some rice pudding.
What part of the country is it, does he say?
I don't think he does know.
We'll have to know.
We could get our listeners to put the task and see if they can solve it.
Could have been Devon.
Have you seen the milky boy who's probably a boy
who's smearing stuff all over the gaff?
Very, very strange.
Have you ever been a victim of a milky head crime?
Do let us know.
Hello at localeakshow.com.
Yeah, but he's always certainly a bloke doing that.
Like, no question about it.
Like, no question.
We have run out of time for this Thursday show, sadly,
but what I will say is this.
There is an excellent email ready to be read out,
and I'll do it on Monday, by the enigmatically named J.W. Muller.
And I'm going to get to that email on Monday
because I don't want it to go missing.
It's well worth the tuning in on Monday to listen.
Are you taking them in?
No, it's great.
It's about aliens.
Oh, it's Muller rather than muller as in the muller
rice people i thought you were good oh fucking hell amazing amazing fucking hell no genuinely
we got an email in for jw muller he's not commenting on the rice pudding issue uh right okay
we'll see now so it'd be worth tuning in for it's about aliens and the technology they use in the movie. Lovely old job. Fantastic.
I heard that the
android spat out
Muller Rice. Doesn't matter.
Let's get out of here. That's too far.
That has been the Luke and Pete
show for this week. As I've mentioned,
we will, of course, be back on Monday. We love
to hear from you, so if you've got anything to contribute
on anything we've mentioned there,
including that enigmatic animal,
the cloud runner,
do let us know.
Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com
or if you just want to say hello,
we'd love to hear from you.
We're on Twitter
at Luke and Pete Show.
He's been Pete Darnson.
I've been Luke Moore.
We'll speak to you next time.
And I'll fresh shower.
this was a stakhanov production and part of the acast creative network