The Luke and Pete Show - A Warm Cup Of Nature’s Cafetière
Episode Date: February 1, 2021On today’s show, Pete prepares a cup of eggy coffee before the boys chat about their previous job experiences, involving dodgy jeans, industrial estates and a baffling experience at Woolworths.Elsew...here, Luke discovers some mysterious stolen art before we discuss typical Dad mannerisms and Chinese takeaways from Deliveroo Donaldson. Listen now!Make sure to get in touch by emailing us over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com with your latest news stories and any topics you'd like to hear us chatting about! We're also on Twitter and Instagram over at @lukeandpeteshow, so drop us a follow there too. Cheers! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello and welcome to the Orny Podcast, not sponsored by NordVPN until we are.
This is the Luke and Pete show. I'm Pete Donaldson and I'm joined with Luke Moore.
Hello, how are you doing?
You alright?
I'm very well, thank you. Yes, I was just putting my phone on silent, mate.
Oh, well, Luke, I mean, we're in lockdown at the moment.
It's very exciting that we are in a situation where we can actually see each other for once.
We're using a video recording technique.
So I can see our lovely little jumper.
You've got a lovely Game of Thrones mug,
cup of tea, winter is coming.
The North Remembrance Peak.
How many sugars is in that?
How much milk is in there?
I have a milky tea,
as regular listeners to this show might remember.
And as my colleagues regularly tease me about, I have a milky tea, as regular listeners to this show might remember,
and as my colleagues regularly tease me about,
I have a milky tea, but I don't have sugar.
I do not have sugar.
We're not savages here.
We're milky boys.
We're milky boys, but we're not savages.
How are you, Peter?
Good, man.
Yeah, good.
I had a slight issue yesterday night where I sat down and watched a bit of telly and then about halfway through one of the episodes of i think modern family i sort of
realized that luke in my deep and distant past when i was about 18 or 19 i did what can only
be described as a three hour um well you know how i'm not that regular to be quite frank but i did a three
hour kind of session uh at woolworths in hartlepool like i sat in an office god and the man from
wool and yeah and the man from woolworths told me how to work in woolworths and now look i can't
remember ever working at woolworths so i i think I'm having like a Mandela effect kind of memory
of working at Woolworths or doing some kind of like session for an hour.
Did you get any pick and mix?
I just – I remembered being trained up how to use tills,
how to – you know, what to do on the shop floor.
But I've never worked for Woolworths.
What's that about?
So back in the day, there was like a situation
where they would hire supermarkets or big stores
like Woolworths would hire people.
They'd do like a funding or like a hiring round
and they'd get people in for the inductions
and during the induction process, they would say,
that guy's going to be on tools.
That guy's going to be on stocking the shelves.
That person's going to be whatever.
I don't see how they see you.
Yeah, exactly.
A bit like that.
Why do they see you and think that you've got tills potential?
Yeah, I don't know.
I just remember messing around with the till.
I don't ever remember working at Woolworths.
God rest his soul.
I had a situation where when I got back from being away,
travelling for a bit, before I moved up to London,
I didn't really know what I was going to do or what I wanted to do.
And my mum and dad, you know, fairly,
and I think I probably thought it was even fair at the time,
said to me, look, well, you're not sticking around here all day
doing nothing, so go and get yourself a job.
I managed to find myself a job in insurance at a, what's it called?
What do you call it?
Like one of those kind of retail parks, like industrial estate.
A Morrissey song?
This already sounds like one.
Well, trust me, heaven knew I was miserable then.
And I don't agree with his politics, Morrissey.
I don't agree with his jeans.
No.
Yeah, the jeans are big.
I mean, they are very big.
Big boot cut boys.
He constantly takes his shirt off and he's a man of advancing years.
It's all very unedifying, isn't it?
Where do you buy those jeans from, do you reckon?
I don't know.
These days, I mean, probably the same place that Simon Cowell gets his
and he's in an awful mess of them all.
I don't know what he's been doing to his face.
He spends more time with his shirt off on a yacht um with his face all
messed up he's his face spends more time on bricks than it does actually perform you know i mean
he looks like he's wearing a death mask of his own face it's so bizarre it's how much like i've
never seen him look good but i have seen him him fucked up by the shit that he pumps in his face.
It's so bizarre.
I can remember members of my own family back in the heady,
like proper big days of Pop Idol or whatever it was,
getting angry in like a proper working class way
that Simon Cowell was obviously so wealthy, yet he dressed like that.
Yes, yeah. way that Simon Cowell was obviously so wealthy yet he dressed like that yes yeah well you you
frequently sort of find yourself um sort of perusing these the high-class magazines like
Vanity Fair and things like that and rich people invariably do not know how to dress they either
dress dress too expensively or they dress like Mark Zuckerberg uh and they just dress in it's
like the clothes have been put on them it It's like the clothes have just been,
they've all of a sudden become really wealthy.
And so what's happened is the clothes have just been put on them.
You know, they say like you have to learn to be rich, right?
You have to kind of get into a whole new mindset about being rich
because otherwise it can make you quite unhappy.
That's just what I've heard.
I mean, I'd have no insight into that whatsoever.
I mean, I'm already pretty unhappy and I'm not rich.
And so you have to get into the mindset of someone who's rich.
And I think what they need to do is get into the mindset
of someone who knows how to wear clothes.
It's like a bizarre look.
It is almost like they're only really on nodding terms with clothes.
And I'll tell you another person who falls into this bracket.
It's Ricky Gervais is like that.
Yeah, he's very simplistic, isn't he?
Just t-shirts.
He dresses like my dad, jogging bottoms and a t-shirt.
I've seen him in two striped tracksuit bottoms.
Now there is no need for that.
Absolutely no need for that, is there?
Like it's absolutely ridiculous.
But anyway, so i'm on this
industrial estate and i've got this job in insurance and my first day in the morning you
just sit around watching endless powerpoint presentations from just awful soulless people
if you're listening at home as you can imagine imagine just tomorrow having to go to an industrial
estate and and if you do you have my sympathies if you don't enjoy it,
and just sitting, not wanting to be there,
but just listening to people talk at you about what you need to do
in terms of insurance.
I knew nothing about insurance then.
I know nothing about insurance now.
It got to lunchtime, and I was allowed to leave the building
to go to get a sandwich or something from the designated place
that you could buy a sandwich from this industrial estate because it was like a purpose-built kind of development
and i just thought i was in the queue for a sandwich remember it now irish named place i
can't remember exactly what it's called might be o'brien's or something i was in the queue and i
remember it like it was yesterday i thought you know what i'm not going back i am not going back
i snuck back in got my bag went home realized if i
go if i went home my parents would be fuming with me so i just hung around the area for a bit
to buy myself some time and then went home and my parents went up when my parents were home and
said oh you know it wasn't great and i ended up i ended up having to see out the week or something
but it wasn't for me and i sometimes sometimes now forget that I even worked there.
So for you to have a training morning
but not remember actually fulfilling the brief
is a very strange situation
because you probably wouldn't have even been paid for that.
Well, it's something that I did in,
I think I spoke about this before,
I definitely worked in Cafe Nero for three days straight.
You didn't say that before.
You never told me that before.
Four or five hours.
Didn't get paid.
Didn't get paid for it.
All that happened was I did induction for three days.
They got three days of labor out of me in Leicester,
and then just went on my merry way.
Didn't get the job in the end.
What year was that?
Is that Cafe Nero in Leicester back then?
Yeah, about 2001, 2002, yeah.
I mean, I think I've said before,
I covered a woman in form, in hot form.
So it wasn't ideal.
But I'm fairly certain I never got paid for that.
That was episode one of the sequel was, of course,
the Orthodox Jewish woman and the blister.
Always covering.
I warmed up for that by hot foam.
Women in hot liquid
that's me the first thing you said to her was it's foam it's definitely it's milky can i just
say so i watched so i saw a story uh earlier this week about a um a museum in germany which had a really valuable leonardo da vinci painting um returned to it
um and it turned out the museum didn't even know it had been stolen
which by the way you would bluff you out of that if that was the case
yeah oh yeah worst case scenario you're getting an extra da vinci
don't tell them you haven't remembered it anyway and what it made me think of was um i i ended up
and you know you sometimes get this situation where i mean i'm almost certain that devices
are listening to my shit right so i won't even type something into a computer or a phone and
i'll get an advert for something i've just mentioned to my wife like a week ago right
yeah that's definitely happening right would you say i'd say it's definitely happening 100 yeah or it's not as bad as you think and you just you know you're looking for the um
the easiest kind of explanation i suppose you surely at some point you will have expressed
a desire to buy a certain thing or you've been looking at certain things online um and it's just
kind of have a test just start talking with your wife about i don't know you
really want to buy a new like a rubber dinghy something and see if you get served i'll do that
i'll do it now i would like to buy i would very much like to express my desire to be the owner
of a rubber dinghy and i'm saying that into my phone right now so we'll see if i get served
adverts for rubber dinghies in my google well the reason i say is because and i'll come on to the main point in just a second it's because i was someone
was talking to me the other day in fact pete you're involved right there was a conversation
that we had on the phone only on the phone about a service called docu sign right yeah i've never
heard of it before i've never mentioned it since I've never typed it into anything. All of a sudden, I'm getting adverts for it served up on the computer.
Anyway, so that's kind of the example.
The other thing is I looked at this story about the Da Vinci painting
being returned to this museum, and I went onto Netflix last night
just to watch something, and I got served up the Da Vinci code, right?
Right, okay.
The movie, right?
Yeah, but you love a bit of Dan Brown.
That's your favourite writer.
This is the myth
that's kind of
followed me around.
Ironically,
Dan Brown should write
a fucking book about it
about the myth
that I like Dan Brown
but anyway
it got served up
so do you know what
I thought?
Do you know what?
I'm going to fucking watch it.
I'm going to watch
the fucking thing, right?
It's alright.
Da Vinci Cards are alright.
The rest of them
are a bit trash but
I thought it was so bad
I couldn't get through it.
It was alright. Come on. Can I a bit trash, but... I thought it was so bad I couldn't get through it. It was alright.
Come on.
Can I just please say there's two bits in it
which just made me laugh out loud.
Bearing in mind, Ron Howard has done some good films.
Yeah.
Tom Hanks is a safe pair of hands.
Yeah.
It's got Sir Ian McKellen in it.
It's got Audrey Tattoo in it.
It's got Jean Reno in it.
They're all quite good actors.
Yeah. There's two bits in it which made me lose the will to live and the second of those bits
meant i just turned it off the first one was we are expected to believe that a 2000 year old
secret society of which the main um curator of or caretaker of has just been brutally murdered, passes the key to the secret down to his granddaughter.
She knows nothing about it, but don't worry about it.
It turns out the address for the key is actually printed
on the key itself.
Fuck off.
Right, okay.
It's a secret fucking society of 2,000 years repute,
and you got that far keeping secrets by printing addresses
of keys on the keys themselves
yeah but you put that yeah but it's like keeping another key under the mat in it you like you need
some failsafe for someone who's a bit forgetful i think do you put on your house keys your address
no you don't there's a good reason for that no you don't not even estate agents do that for crying
out loud and the second bit is the french police are chasing down these guys. They fly to Britain, right?
To a secret airport.
Not a secret airport,
but like a private airport,
like an airfield.
And the French police speak to the British police.
So the British police turn up at the airfield
when they land.
And so, by the way,
the French police are after you guys.
Yeah.
Fucking rotters.
Yeah.
To which Ian McKellen says,
oh, yeah, well, we haven't done anything wrong.
So if you want to stop me,
I'm afraid you're just going to have to shoot me.
And just fucking walks off.
They don't bother fucking stopping him.
They don't just say, you know what?
Stay here just for an hour while the French police turn up.
Yeah.
Because we're part of the European Union Arrest Warrant,
or we were then.
Yeah.
Heady days. And they just let him go. It doesn Union Arrest Warrant, or we were then. Yeah. Heady days.
And they just let him go.
That wouldn't happen. This is the thing.
There are things that happen in film. He's a national treasure though,
isn't he? True, actually. He's a national treasure, mate.
Imagine that. If you were a police officer and you had
to go and arrest someone, it turned out to be Ian McKellen,
would it make it tough? It would, wouldn't it? Yeah, it
would. I'd be stealing a lot of memorabilia
and trinkets.
Do you really want to be known as the man who arrested Sir Ian McKellen?
He must be in his late 70s by now probably as well.
Anyway, it took me out of it.
I know you've got to suspend some disbelief when you're watching a movie sometimes.
I actually also watched Bridge of Spies last weekend,
which I thought was fantastic.
You've had a heavy Tom Hanks weekend then, haven't you?
I don't really know why because I wouldn't call myself a hank's a file would you uh hankering did you have a hankering
for a bit of his uh yeah i uh i i watched a film on the strength of someone's haircut
over the weekend in fact i forced uh my partner to watch it as well um miami vice michael mann's reimagining muscular reimagining of uh miami vice
the tv show um i didn't know what the hell was going on during that film everything apart from
the key light is in darkness you can't you cannot figure out what the hell is going on um the the
script god knows what the script was like because you can't hear a word anyone's saying, because there's constant helicopters, cars,
like just noises happening, which means you can't figure out what's happening.
Drugs, vice, I don't know.
A Cuban-Chinese lady, I think, who's in charge of something.
And I watched it just because of Colin Far farrell's mullet and i thought
that is a good head of hair i like uh i like the trailer because it had a bit of jay-z and
lincoln park in there and uh and at some point you're probably going to hear crockett's theme
you didn't hear jay-z and uh lincoln park and you certainly didn't hear crockett's theme annoyingly
so just let everyone down, I think.
I like Colin O'Farrill.
I think he's decent.
I quite enjoy it. He's a very watchable, charismatic chap.
But did you get through the film?
What's your general attitude?
Were you stick at something to the end?
Yeah, yeah, we watched it.
But it was just impossible to watch.
If anyone else can explain to me why Miami Vice got such excellent reviews
and whether Michael um michael man
was still did he make heat i can't remember what films he got yeah i think he's still kind of
riding high on that particular success because i just could not figure out how it got such good
reviews have you ever considered and i mean this with love and i'm not saying it's the case
but have you ever considered that your taste in things is trash?
Yeah, it is, but, I mean, we're talking about Miami Vice, the film.
It's not.
True, actually, yeah.
If anything, I just thought that's right in your Venn diagram.
It's not the Colours Red trilogy.
What stuff do you know is trash but you like anyway?
The way I abuse eggs is quite trashy, I think.
I made coffee,
I made egg coffee today.
What?
It's like a Swedish thing
that you do.
You just basically get
your coffee beans,
ground coffee beans,
couple of spoonfuls of that,
mix it in with an egg
and the shell,
mix it in,
smash up the shell, smash up the shell,
smash up the egg, and then add hot water.
Sounds like a recipe for compost.
Well, it is quite composty.
And you pour the hot water in, and the proteins bind the coffee together.
So therefore, when you pour it out, you don't need like a calf at the air.
You don't need to kind of like squish it down.
You don't need to filter it because the coffee grounds
and the eggshell kind of bind to the egg proteins.
And the Swedes use it quite a lot.
And also it takes the bitterness out of the coffee a little bit.
It makes for quite a smooth, eggy coffee drink.
Not unpleasant.
Not unpleasant, to be honest.
I heartily recommend it.
Be honest, though.
Are you going to do it again?
No, it's a bloody mess
it's a nightmare sludgy old uh egg and egg and coffee grounds all over the gaff never doing that
again awful awful so basically the actual coffee you drink is separated out from the eggshell and
the grounds and everything like that it's like nature's nature's cafeteria basically nature's
cafeteria exactly i've never heard of that before, ever.
Never once heard of it.
It's a fringe plan for eggs and coffee, I think.
I don't think many people do it.
Are you getting kind of like jaded by the whole lockdown thing now?
Yeah, yeah, I am actually. I mean, I've got a Fiat 500 on the drive.
Dive me out back to, dive me out back brown.
I've got a Fiat 500 on the drive I can't drive
because the driving lesson.
That's not because of lockdown,
that's because you haven't passed your test.
Yeah, I know.
Well, look, I just thought, well,
maybe I can familiarise myself.
Can't just play lockdown for things.
I've never had full sex with a woman.
Yeah,
it's ridiculous.
But I just thought,
you know,
I'll familiarize myself with the controls
and have a little fiddle around.
But yeah,
it's just annoying
because like I had driving test lessons
and driving test booked.
I've got a driving test booked in April,
early April.
And this is what,
and I'm not going to be able to pass my test,
am I?
Or I could have a good go.
Or I could just turn up with no lessons and just have a go at it.
Do it anyway.
If you paid for it, do it anyway.
Has anyone done that?
That would be brilliant if they had.
I wonder how far you'd get through it.
Just turn up.
I've done no lessons.
Pay for a driving test, go to it.
Having had no lessons, you can't even get in the right side of the car.
I'd love to know one person, at least one person,
has experienced a driving test as the first time
they've ever sat in the driving seat of a car.
Yeah, or just rock up and wet yourself and go,
well, scary, isn't it?
Scary driving, isn't it?
The reason I ask about the old lockdown jaded thing is because for the first
however many months of it i was always like pretty like conscious of understanding that
there were people out there a lot worse off than me and yeah trying to make sure i made a point of
saying that you know i can't really complain because ultimately i can't but now i am getting
to the point where i have seen more of the inside of this spare room as I ever thought I would before.
It's just getting so tedious.
Like every day is the same.
Like I was saying to you, I think I might have said to you,
you know, I saw someone refer to the weekend as the two-day lunch break.
Like it's exactly like that.
You can't do anything.
There is nothing different about it.
So all I do every day is sit in the spare room
and occasionally, probably once every other day,
I get to go out for a walk or a run.
That is it.
I sort of find myself sort of doing,
like getting up at a reasonable hour
and sort of like, you know, starting working quite early,
you know, like nine o'clock,
like quite early for what needs to be done.
Quite early, like nine o'clock.
And then sort
of going off the boiler around about 12 not really getting back onto it about half one
and then it's just constant until about 10 o'clock at night and then i'm back at it and it's like
because there's always you know you know you know like our jobs like there's always something to
bloody do there's always something to fart about with there's always a show to edit there's always a show to release or talk or you know plan or
whatever so there's always something to do and i find that that my days have just extended to like
you know ridiculous 12-hour days and there's no need for it and and um yeah this this this third
one whatever we're talking about we're talking three uh lockdown four whatever this is really
starting i'm i'm arguing with my mom about captain tom see captain tom has got uh covid sadly he's We were talking about three, lockdown four, whatever. This is really starting to get...
I'm arguing with my mum about Captain Tom.
See, Captain Tom has got COVID, sadly.
He's obviously a very, very old man, so he's very at risk.
I argued that it's not a great look for a man who obviously is a bit of a legend
to go to Barbados and come back with COVID.
And my mum is very much of the opinion that he deserved to go to Barbados.
He could deserve to go to Barbados, but if you're risking your health with your family to go to Barbados and come back with COVID. And my mum is very much of the opinion that he deserved to go to Barbados. So he could deserve to go out of Barbados,
but if you're risking your health with your family to go to Barbados,
and I'm having this big argument with my mum,
and she's not backing down, I'm not backing down,
and I just think we're going a bit mad.
What's your old man saying about it?
I think he'd probably, my dad is a little bit like me.
Anyone who gains notoriety
for something he always thinks
they're skeletons
so he probably thinks Captain Tom's
done something dreadful in his past
I'm not saying he has
fought in a war
exactly
Sir Tom
did you see I saw something really funny about that
Sir Tom
had his vaccination, right?
Apparently.
Did he have his vaccination?
I don't know.
I've not heard the reality.
No.
Anyway, there was some kind of conspiracy theory online
during the rounds.
What an amazing surprise, where these anti-vaxxers
and these anti-COVID deniers, whatever, were saying, you know, I bet Captain Sir Tom Moore
got COVID from the vaccine.
I bet that's why he got caught.
You know, we used to talk about this.
And they started sharing a load of articles about how,
I told you, I told you he had the vaccine.
And then someone pointing out a bit further down the line
that they're all sharing articles about Tom Jones getting the vaccine.
By accident.
If Captain Tom has not had the vaccine,
why hasn't he had the vaccine?
He should be front of the queue.
He's in his hundreds.
If someone's in their hundreds,
they should be front of the queue, surely.
That's maddening.
Maddening behavior.
Maybe because didn't he travel to Barbados
for this most recent lockdown?
So there was a travel coronavirus.
I think he was allowed to go there.
So that's probably why he's missed out.
Yeah, well, look, I need to come back with COVID.
It's not an ideal situation,
but I'm very much on one side of things
and my mum is very much on the other side of things
and we're just arguing about it because we're,
yeah, I think we're just slowly going mad.
Yeah, exactly.
So when you have these kind of running battles with your parents,
how do they start?
Because what tends to happen with me is I'll call my mum and my dad
and I'll have a chat with them, and I've got to the stage now
where I don't ever really pick them up on things that I don't agree with.
I'm just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, fine, yeah, whatever.
And my parents are quite liberal, and they're both kind of,
I guess they're quite similar to me.
They voted for Remain like I did.
They're not like mad conspiracy theories.
I don't spend too much time on the internet.
So I guess I'm quite fortunate in that way.
So it doesn't really come up that often.
They don't really say much.
It's just too objectionable.
So I find it quite easy just to go, yeah, yeah, whatever,
and then we're away.
But with you, it starts off with a badly compressed JPEG shared by your dad.
Yeah.
And your mum says something you don't agree with, and you're off.
Yeah, well, I mean, my dad's a bit of a mean monster,
and I'm as objectionable as they come, really.
So, yeah, it's usually me, to be honest, Luke.
I've said something unimaginably bad and, yeah,
we're off to the races then.
It's great stuff.
Does your sister ever get involved?
She's very much at the same kind of political persuasion as me.
So she doesn't necessarily get involved.
She's got two kids to worry about and a husband.
Is that what it is?
You've got nothing on?
Is that what it is?
Yeah, I've got nothing on.
Yeah, I'll happily get involved.
Basically, you're metaphorically running around your family,
just windmilling, seeing who wants a piece of it.
Exactly.
And someone steps up and takes a piece of the action.
Correct, correct.
All right, let's have a quick break.
When we come back, we'll do some emails.
We've got a couple of good ones, actually,
so look forward to that.
We'll see you just on the other side of this. All right, let's have a quick break. When we come back, we'll do some emails. We've got a couple of good ones, actually, so look forward to that. We'll see you just on the other side of this.
All right, then.
This week at Sukarnov.
Over at Self Care Club,
wellness road-tested,
Lauren and Nicole discussed intuitive eating
and rebelling against diet culture.
Actually, I'm really proud of myself that I did that
because it was hard,
and it was bloody brave to actually stand
up and say you know what I choose my life I choose to have quality of life I choose to be
two dress sizes bigger and much fucking happier for it for even more great content there's also
a brand new episode of between the lines with Melissa Reddy who sat down with Borussia
Mönchengladbach's assistant manager, René Maric.
He talked through his journey from a football blogger
to coaching one of the most exciting football teams in Europe.
We always focus on the next game and we focus on every opponent,
no matter which competition and the level of the opposition.
We always focus on each opposition the same
in terms of investment of time and resources.
All that and a whole lot more at Sukarnov. position the same in terms of investment of time and resources.
All that and a whole lot more at Succar North.
And we're back. It's the
Luke and Pete Show. Let's get straight into it.
If you want to get into the show, hello at LukeandPeteShow.com
is our email address.
We're on Instagram as well.
Get in touch via that.
Slide into our DMs.
Slide into our lives with your information.
Yeah, don't do anything rude though
because it might not be us
manning the DMs.
That's the problem.
Well, don't say that
because that'll make people
want to do it more.
Oh, yeah.
We've seen everything.
We've seen everything
on the internet, Mark.
Yeah, that's true.
Shout out to the guy
who emailed us in with a load of conspiracy theory nonsense about vaccinations they did perhaps
the bollocks to include his own name and instead did it from an anonymous gmail account um so you
think if you were that into it you'd be able to put your name to it right i i i uh yeah oh yeah
i think i read that one and also um the person who explained defragging to me that made the cut i'm reading
that email out over to you on thursday so you get used to it that i found that absolutely
fascinating really okay fine i thought i'd made i thought i'd basically said the the nuts and bolts
of that email in a swift 10 second riposte when we were talking about it last week on the show
but clearly not experiences your experiences that are quite different to well because i remember you saying a lot of stuff
i didn't understand right then this guy's emailed him with quite a really a really concise and quite
informative explanation well well look forward to that everyone on thursday how to defragment
why to defragment and why you don't defragment anymore on our drive how many other podcasts
out there are explaining the process of a now defunct 90s piece
of computer admin
that needed to be done
if you were a dad,
but only if you were a dad?
Before you did the defrag
on your PC back in the late 90s,
the last kind of alert box
that came up would say,
can you please just finally confirm
that you are a dad?
And you had to click yes.
And then you did the defrag.
Do you know what setting
the thermostat is on right now?
Yeah. Are you playing Dire setting the thermostat is on right now? Yeah.
Are you playing Dire Straits in the background?
What's the most, what are the most,
and I've got an email here and I will come on to it,
but what are the most archetypal dad behaviours?
I would say listen to Dire Straits and or Pink Floyd.
Right, yeah.
Constant, or would you say almost like the Nazification
of the thermostat in the house?
Yeah, yeah.
I'd also go, yeah, anything like the shower was always a big one
in our house.
My dad was obsessed with, you had to run cool water
through the shower after you'd finished so that the heating elements
wouldn't crack or whatever.
I've never heard of that before.
No, yeah, I mean, I'm sure there's a good reason to do it but you think if you'd run you were running hot and cold hot and cold really
quickly it would uh it would shorten the life of your of your heating elements that sounds like
something that's completely made up it doesn't it so it's basically defragmenting a shower that's
what he's trying to do is that what dads do they just try and defragment everything? They just want order.
They're trying to find order in a house that just has none
because it's their goddamn house.
I would say, well, my dad, the lottery.
He had an obsession when the lottery came in.
He had an obsession, a deep obsession with winning the lottery,
his lottery numbers, his team's lottery numbers at work.
So, yeah, a lot of that business going on.
Yeah, my dad was also obsessed with mobile phones.
Oh, really? Okay.
Into them. Yeah, just into them.
Not really in a proper detailed way,
but just always wants to have a look at the phone
and upgrade to the latest one as quick as he can.
Ah, that's quite modern.
Is it a dad thing to have everything
in its right place, in the right order?
They like to think so, don't they?
And then you look at their toolbox
and it's just an absolute shit show in there.
I got a text from my dad earlier, no joke,
and it literally said,
I'm going to paint you a bench.
What colour would you like it?
My dad's making us a bench for the garden.
Oh, that's nice.
That's good dad behaviour as well.
Get in touch.
Hello at LukeandPetecher.com with your best dad behaviour.
Is he going to come up in pieces and you're going to assemble it?
No, I think he's going to properly assemble it himself.
I think he's going to put it together.
I don't think I would be able to assemble it,
so it's going to have to be him.
Have you got an email lined up?
Or do you want me to do this one about migraines?
Yeah, bash into it in the migraine chat.
All good.
All right.
So I said, didn't I, last week that I had a migraine,
and I was asking if people had had their own different migraine symptoms because they're like a fascinating area.
Or maybe I am just turning into a dad.
But Matt has said the following.
Hi, guys.
Enjoyed the chat about migraines.
As a sufferer since my teens,
I wanted to share my experience of my first migraine,
which started when I was in year nine physics.
So that is, what, 14 years old?
In the middle of a very boring session
where pages of notes were being dictated by the teacher
for us to write down.
I mean, Matt goes on to say the following sentence,
I'm pretty capable academically.
And I feel like he should be teased for that.
Yeah, I can handle myself in the world of, in the arena of thought.
Is that what he's saying?
That's what he's saying, yeah.
And he says, I went on to get an English degree some years later.
So it came as a surprise when I started to become unable to spell
the simplest words
in the notes.
And I would also add to that, Matt, an English degree is the easiest of all the degrees,
in my opinion.
It doesn't mean you can spell frequently.
Like English lit degrees.
True.
There's a lot of people I know that have got those and they cannot spell or use correct
grammar.
But it's the only subject in which you've already got a basis of knowledge in it by definition yeah
yeah do you know what i mean more yeah more of that please i guess yeah you don't learn like
physics when you're three but you do learn so i guess you you enjoy the effects of it i suppose
yeah yeah true um anyway matt says so it came as a surprise when i started to become unable to spell
the simplest words in the notes.
As concerned as I was, I was less concerned than my teacher was when I raised my hand to say I wasn't feeling well,
only to find that I'd also lost the ability to speak.
Somewhere between my brain and my mouth, the words became garbled and came out as complete nonsense.
What I now know to be the first signs of an oncoming migraine were, at the time,
terrifying for both myself and the teacher, who admitted in the next lesson he thought i was having a stroke
brackets a man of science let's not forget um for the next few years these attacks came every few
months and included very specific symptoms in the same order each time number one inability to write
or speak coherently number two numbness and tingling down the left side of my face, including
tongue and left arm. Number three, flashing lights and partial blindness in my vision.
Number four, excruciatingly painful headaches, which would last around 12 hours, followed by
the classic nausea and sensitivity to light for a couple of days. Thankfully, these attacks have
become far less frequent, and I now have one every few years, and they're they're much more mild however i'm understandably annoyed when someone near me gets a
slight headache and claims they have a migraine and all i want to do is quote pirates of the
caribbean and whisper you know nothing of hell kind regards matt so some interesting symptoms
there pete i mean it it was like you said last week, I cannot believe that you are able
to experience those symptoms and then not be in A&E going,
I'm dying, I'm dying, help.
I can see lights.
Things are vibrating.
They feel like symptoms of something that would be much more serious.
That's the thing.
Yeah, yeah.
Honestly.
It feels bad.
It's horrible.
It's chilling.
Someone was talking about COVID yesterday, that's the thing yeah yeah i honestly bad it's horrible it's chilling it's it but i i someone
was talking about um covid yesterday and and he was sort of saying obviously it's not it's not as
um as uh as easy to deal with as flu but what people kind of forget about flu is that most
people don't get flu no you know what i mean flu can affect
people can have like a long leg it can it can affect people for three months after they've had
it and it does last for weeks on end it can be as debilitating as the milder forms of covid so
it's like people are sort of saying oh it's just it's just flu it's obviously much more serious
than that and the death rate is way higher.
Oh, I think when people say that, they basically...
So as you said, they mean the cold.
When someone says that, they mean the cold, don't they?
Yeah, yeah.
No, I completely agree.
Because flu, I think I've had it twice in my life.
It is rancid.
It's like I've only had food poisoning twice in my life,
and it's rancid.
It's like nothing that I have ever experienced poisoning twice in my life and it's rancid it's like nothing
that i have ever experienced before it's horrible absolutely i had um i had i had food poisoning
from a burger van outside white hart lane once right and um it was so bad that i can remember
it was around maybe march or april and there was a i think it was i think it was around maybe March or April.
And I think it was around when Bradford City got to the League Cup final.
And I think they were beaten by Swansea.
And it was when Michael Swansea won the League Cup.
So whatever year that was.
In either the semi or the quarterfinal, Bradford knocked out Arsenal.
And I remember really wanting to watch the game.
It was on TV and that was when I had food poisoning.
And the food poisoning was so bad,
I couldn't actually get from the bedroom to the living room.
It was that bad.
I had to listen to it on the radio because I couldn't move.
Yeah, it's horrible.
Absolutely horrible.
Absolutely debilitating. Yeah, I would never want ever ever want a uh a a migraine i just i
just think they sound absolutely rancid uh should we squeeze in a quick email before we shuffle off
yeah go for it yeah all right cool uh we got one from who've we got here um yeah well just um just
adam um a long overdue pete chinese food update uh can we get an update on whether Pete has managed to find a replacement Chinese
in his new pastures?
Yeah.
And if he's still fueling himself for half the week with one order.
Everyone deserves a great local succulent Chinese meal.
And indeed, a great local succulent Chinese meal story.
Yes, I have found one, and I get my little scoter,
and I tootle up to it, and I collect it.
And I don't know whether it's a chinese
yourself yeah no exactly yeah i'm a delivery guy you got a jacket and i'm not gonna i'd love a
jacket apparently a lot of like east londoners were like getting taken a couple of days out and
being a delivery driver just so they can get the jacket because they're quite cool the reflectiveness
is like really kind of like space age and stuff. You know, they would go to raves in them and stuff.
It's as tragic as that in my entire life.
They would go to the rave in them.
Yeah, to those hype beasts, they were very attractive.
But yeah, so yeah, I have and I popped up on there on,
I think Friday it was.
And it was just a bit of a mess really because people,
some people weren't wearing masks.
Some people didn't really know.
Some people, everyone was sort of in a crescent outside the Chinese.
Some people were going, have you ordered?
Are you collecting?
Did you phone up earlier?
And there was no system.
There was no system, Luke.
It was very upsetting.
What did you do then?
Well, I finally got my food and I managed to eat it over two days.
I had it for yesterday, sorry, the day after lunchtime.
So yeah, it did me quite well.
Did you have to sleep in the spare room because of it or what?
I didn't, no, no, I didn't.
There's a takeaway place near me.
It's one of those places that does kebabs, fish and chips, burgers, and chips burgers all that stuff right now ordinary i would never get fish and chips from there because i prefer a dedicated
place yeah but this guy who runs this place he's a really nice guy he's like a bit of a pillar of
the local community and um he's really friendly i used to go in there occasionally on the way back
from when i used to do a late at night radio show so he'd be the only place still open i'd grab some
food on the way back and he used to get chatting a late-night radio show. So he'd be the only place still open. I'd grab some food on the way back.
And I used to get chatting to him,
particularly if it wasn't a weekend night
because he wouldn't be that busy.
And he's a really good guy.
And I saw him.
I was out for a walk the other night.
I walked past it and I heard a bit of commotion.
And he's hard.
He's probably about my height, but he's muscly.
And he's got a proper Elvis haircut.
I think he might be Turkish, but he's got a great Elvis haircut.
And I had a bit of commotion
and he was absolutely berating
two younger
lads who didn't have masks on.
Basically telling them to get the fuck out of his shop
and never
come back again.
In the middle of it, he
looked over and just gave me a quick wave.
And I kind of waved back and he just carried on with his verbal assault.
Good on him.
I think you must become, if you were to run,
if any adult human being was to run that kind of city-based
takeaway fast food place.
Saturday night hell spot.
You'd just become hard, wouldn't you?
I think you should be allowed to go in the Marines
if you want,
like after that.
It should count as experience,
as relevant experience.
Yeah,
I think that's on the job training
quite frankly.
That's like,
you know,
would you like to fight ISIS now?
Yeah,
yeah.
I don't want the machine gun,
I'll just use this big knife
that I use to cut the meat.
Yeah,
exactly,
exactly.
It's a weapon of choice.
The things they have seen, my God.
Oh, mate.
I told you, my friend used to live opposite one,
and we used to sit there looking out the window off his little balcony every Friday and Saturday night having a smoke.
It was absolutely brilliant because the amount of stuff that would go on.
It was incredible.
It's just insanity.
Absolutely insanity.
Anyway, let's get out of here.
We'll be back on Thursday with the next episode of this unplanned nonsense.
We've been stuck around for quite a long time today.
We must have nothing else on.
No, we haven't because none of us can leave the house.
We'll see you on Thursday.
Do leave us a review on the old Apple podcasts
and do check us out on Instagram at Luke and Pete Show.
Producer Nat does a brilliant job of that as well.
And if you want to get in touch,
hello at Luke and Pete show.com is the email address for anything you want to
talk about any subjects you've got to suggest anything you've heard today that
you might want to respond to.
And yeah,
we look forward to hearing from you over there as well.
So goodbye,
Peter.
Goodbye.
Goodbye from me as well.
This was a Stakhanov production and part of the ACAST Creative
Network.