The Luke and Pete Show - Are you impressed?
Episode Date: August 28, 2023The joke of this year's Edinburgh Fringe has been revealed and - unsurprisingly - Luke and Pete are not impressed.In a classic Luke and Pete pivot we go from talking about that to discussing head tran...splants. Plus, Pete reveals the real reason why he bought a Jag.Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Subscribe to our YouTube HERE. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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it's the look of peter i'm pete donaldson i'm joined by mr lukey moore welcome to the show
uh on the last show uh we discussed well a couple of things really uh me going on a ghost hunt in a
nuclear bunker and luke uh revealed that his neighbor uh is being a naughty little
plonker by putting up a muggy little corn outside her house you sound so east london then it's so
london then mate i i find that when i talk to um pets and animals sometimes children i become very
essex it's it's it's not right i've never heard you use the word plonker before because
you are famously anti only fools and horses oh oh so I'm down in on the ghost hunt in the um
ghost hunt part two love this part two I was down in the uh in the in the in the sort of rec room
sort of um places where people were like sort of eating eating at the Kelvedon hatch nuclear bunker in Essex.
And on Friday night, 1 o'clock in the morning,
I noticed that behind me was a cover of the Christmas Radio Times
with the whole Only Fools and Horses family,
from Del Boy to all of the rest of them.
I don't know. It looked kind of 80s to me.
That's a great little...
You could probably sell that on eBay for a good wedge.
Look, if that lad who came back in a body bag
from North Korea has taught me anything,
don't steal posters.
However interesting that you may find them.
I don't think the discontinued nuclear facility regime
in the UK is quite so intense.
No, certainly not at 1am
when I'm fucking about all the computers.
Pulling all the paper out of the printers.
How did that guy in North Korea even
find himself doing what he was doing?
I think he was on one of those kind of like
dark tourism tours
and he thought, ha ha ha
no one can stop me, I'm from the west
and then they went, yeah
to the gulag and he came back
very bruised and dead.
Yeah, and it's quite poor form, isn't it, generally?
It's a bit of a faux pas to be doing those kind of tours anyway, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, there's a very good reason that might be.
Because you would have done it by now.
I would have only done them...
I've been to the DMZ and peeked in with a big telescope
and, like, the whole kind of, like, leafleting thing basically says,
peek into North Korea.
And you can.
You can see Pyongyang and you can see that little Potemkin village
they've sort of set up.
It's a really unimpressive-looking thing.
If they're showing off to the rest of the world,
it's not a good-looking Potemkin village.
Stick a McDonald's in there.
Didn't you feel a bit like you were kind of gawping at a human zoo, though?
And that's also a bit distasteful.
Well,
I mean,
I couldn't say anything.
I mean,
yeah,
I mean,
yeah.
Yeah,
I was,
yeah.
Is it in the top 10
most distasteful things
you've done?
No,
not even this week.
You're still,
you're still reeling
from the ghost hunt.
I think we should send you
on more of these types of things.
Yeah,
yeah.
Luke,
you are a famous
supporter of the
comedic arts
comics. Oh, for fuck's sake supporter of the comedic arts.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
I'm not doing this.
I knew you were going to fucking say this.
I knew as soon as I saw this hit the front page of the fucking BBC website and Sky News today, I was like, he's going to fucking pull me up on this.
And I can't be doing with it.
Top 10 jokes of the 2023 Fridge.
We're not going to do them all,
but we're certainly going to do the one that was voted the top one.
Why is the top 10,
why is the favourite joke of the Fringe
always universally a piece of shit?
Like, it's always shit.
It denigrates every bit of hard work
that all of these young stand-ups do.
They spend years honing their craft.
And then someone called Lorna Rose-Treen, who I years horning their craft and then someone called
Lorna Rose-Treen,
who I'm sure is quite lovely
and fantastic and talented,
she,
I think she'd be annoyed.
Well, don't say that.
Just try it as a get-out
for what you're about to
absolutely hammer her.
I think she'd be annoyed
that this was pulled out
as the best joke from the fringe.
Who is reviewing that
as the best joke from the fringe?
It's voted on, I think.
The joke is,
I started dating a zookeeper
but it turned out
he was a cheater. Which absolute absolute very definition of a big normie is voting that as the best joke of the fringe.
Why are they always so awful?
So the reporting of it is also interesting.
So that I have read that and I knew that you were going to ask me about today.
So I actually watched the joke
as well right and the joke she delivers isn't the joke that's being reported okay right because if
you look at it as you've just said it there as it's written down i started dating a zookeeper
it turned out he was a cheater that doesn't actually make any fucking sense right because
a zookeeper would you know a cheater wouldn't be a zookeeper what she actually
says was says says is i started dating someone from the zoo it turns out he was a cheetah
that makes more sense it's a terrible joke still but it makes more sense and and i think that so
basically how it works is like it's sponsored by the TV channel Dave and it's drawn up by a panel of comedy critics
and then I think several thousand members of the public
who've attended the Fringe get to vote on the shortlist.
Right, okay.
I mean, none of them seem particularly well-crafted.
But am I alone here?
And I might be alone.
It's not you and me here, but I mean, producer Rory as well.
Am I alone here in thinking that surely be alone. It's not you and me here, but I mean, producer Rory as well. Am I alone here in thinking
that surely the same way
that,
you know,
culture and the arts
follows this general path anyway,
95% of fucking stand-up comedy
is going to be terrible,
isn't it?
I mean,
I mean,
we don't have,
I mean,
we have to go through
all the stand-up comedy.
We've kind of,
we've ploughed that furrow
pretty heftily.
And you've made your feelings very, very clear.
Well, I'm bringing up the, I just like the, I mean,
bearing in mind there was like a massive vogue forever
about stand-ups who'd experienced loss.
And that was kind of their, for about five years,
everyone just had a podcast about their dead dad or something.
I'm sorry about your loss.
Don't get me involved.
That's nothing to do with me.
But now, but then all of these kind of quite thoughtful shows get distilled down to the top 10 jokes of the fringe.
Yeah, it's poor.
Yeah, I mean, I mean, I mean, I'll take when women gossip, we get called bitchy.
When men do, it's called a podcast.
Fine.
That's functionally fine. But it's been done so many times before. Yeah, that's like it, it's called a podcast. Fine. That's functionally fine.
That's like to me,
but Pete,
that's a...
But it's been done
so many times before.
Yeah, that's like
a five-year-old joke.
Exactly.
I thought I'd start off
with a joke about the Titanic
just to break the ice.
Spellsy.
If I'd seen the word
Marcus Speller there,
instead of Masai Graham,
I would have said,
well, that sounds like
something Marcus would say.
That joke is a joke
from the fucking 80s.
How do Celiac Germans
meet each other?
Gluten tag.
It's not...
It's barely even a pun.
Yeah, it's just a...
I'm usually on the side of the stand-ups, Luke,
when you're having your little rant.
You can't defend it.
This is unindefensible.
Is that all you've been doing up north of the border?
In Edinburgh?
Eating chips and doing that?
Good God.
Yeah, it's... Take some drugs or something.
Do you think, well, hang on.
Do you think that, and this is what you don't like,
because you've got no respect for your own contribution
and your own output, right?
So you find these kind of conversations hard to have
and hard to answer these kind of questions.
But Pete, honestly, you and i could sit down for an hour and
write fucking 10 better jokes than this and we never thought about doing stand-up it would say
it would say but it would say that it would but then it'd be foul it would use the word come
it wouldn't be but it wouldn't be on a bbc website what's wrong with that good exactly good i think i
think there is no to be totally fair i don't i mean the problem is you've got
this culture around it where every single person who's an aspiring stand-up with the odd exception
but pretty much every single person comes across on telly as being desperate to be famous as being
awfully like embarrassing as a human being and just generally quite needy i mean a lot of people
are turned off by that and i'm one of those people that's just my personal opinion that's fine but i would say
this these kind of lists aren't that helpful anyway because of course you've we all know people
who can tell the most boring story ever and make it the most funniest thing like the funniest thing
in the world and some people just naturally magnetic and charismatic and generally naturally
very funny yeah you wrote what they said down it wouldn't necessarily be funny to read would it
yeah true so there's a different element to this it's almost like you're taking a 3d situation and
making it 2d and everyone's going this is a bit shit yeah but on the other hand it is also quite
shit yeah i mean they've kind of exposed her and i don't think l Rose Trini is going to enjoy, you can enjoy winning the award
but very soon
the cynics will
point out that you were
apparently a
University of Edinburgh graduate, fine
BBC production Trini, fine
also spent time studying theatre
and clowning at École Philippe
Goyer in Paris.
That sort of stuff she's going to feel very exposed and it's not her fault and clowning at a call at Philippe Goyer in Paris. Yeah, these are the type of people you're dealing with.
That sort of stuff.
She's going to feel very exposed, and it's not her fault.
And I feel sorry for her, but she put that joke in there.
It's also, it's like an extension of the kind of theatre type people, isn't it?
Well, of course it is.
It's just a bit much.
Have you done Edinburgh?
No.
Have you done like, right, well, all right.
I couldn't be further.
I could not be, I could not be I could not
I love Edinburgh as a city I've visited many many times I've always enjoyed it I could not get
further away from that right it's not my thing I it is my thing and I and I um I'm moving over to
your side of the of the ledger on this one I think it's it's I think all of the stand-ups have worked very hard on their shows,
have been let down by being included on that list.
Don't defend them by saying they worked very hard.
We all worked really hard.
You worked really hard.
It doesn't mean you won a fucking Guardian award.
That's true.
Today you were.
But generally, I've got no problem.
Listen, I've got several problems with how you go about your week.
And I think this show is a testament to that.
I don't think at any point you can say you're not a hard worker.
Everyone works hard.
It's how it is.
That's how life is.
I don't think that's an excuse.
And I would also say this.
You know, part of the reason this stuff is so annoying
is because for some reason,
presumably because TV execs and decision makers think they're a safe bet,
is that comedians infect every part of entertainment now.
Like, you can't do a show without having a comedian on it.
And I'm not talking about just straight, like, comedy panel shows
that are supposed to be comedy.
I mean, I don't really like those personally,
but I kind of get that.
That's light entertainment.
That's always been around.
Like, you know, for some reason now, though,
you want to do a documentary,
you want to watch a documentary about fucking anything, has to hosted by a comedian yeah but it's hosted by a comedian and
and it's usually i mean i i don't mind all that i i where i take umbridge is um people who have
had every uh opportunity in life um bringing their dad along for a laugh oh yeah that's what
that's a real vogue for that kind of thing um i
and there's a few shows like that and i find it very uh i find that very gauche i found that very
difficult to watch and so i don't agree and peter do you know do you know something this is just a
tangent tangent ever so slightly but on a related matter i'll tell you what's really hit that kind
of stuff home you know michael parkinson died last week yeah right and
as a man of a certain age of a certain era said one or two things that we can all disagree with
let's get that out the way but what we're talking about here as a broadcaster is just an unbelievable
talent like a heavyweight talent like a guy who was so confident and so adept at broadcasting with these amazing figures that it
just you watch it back now it's like night and day i mean you you what i watched when he died
i watched about 25 minutes of him interviewing orson wells on saturday night telly and it's not
about who can do the wackiest joke and who can, you know, it's like it's interesting, heavyweight stuff.
And I'm not saying that all TV has to be like that.
I'm just saying at some point along the line, we lost the option of having that.
And, you know, chat shows became Graham Norton, Alan Carr, Jonathan Ross, whatever you want to call it.
And I'm not, again, like to make it it absolutely clear I'm not denigrating those people individually
particularly because they're obviously very good at what they do
very charismatic, very clever
but there's no kind of heft
or gravity to
any kind of TV like that now
and it really does throw it into
stark contrast if you go back
and watch some of Parkinson's old stuff
where he's so confident he just lets them talk and he gently
nudges them and it's about them
and it's not about him.
And I think that's a real shame
and I think that the infection
of comedy and comedians
into everything
is, to me, quite a sad indictment
and I don't think it needs to be that way.
No.
Well, that's comedy sorted.
Anyway, we've...
I also just think the jokes aren't that good.
My grandad tells better jokes than that.
You're not even trying to be a comedian.
Oh, I'd love you to spend a few weeks up in Edinburgh.
That's why I used to holiday before I discovered flights.
Wait, at the Fringe?
Yeah, I used to go to the Fringe for a couple of weeks
or ten days or something.
I used to love it.
I used to absolutely love it.
Lots of people say that like
for a young comedian
it's actually not worth
doing it now
it's too expensive
yeah it always has been
and obviously
it's getting worse
um
Lukey
um
there's big talk
that um
a head transplant
might take place soon
what a pivot
and the Luke and Pete
show community
would be fucking
delighted with that pivot
and maybe
you could have your head replaced with someone who enjoys puns.
And you could sit in the front row of a Tim Vine show, guffawing away.
I've actually worked with Tim Vine before and he's very nice.
Yeah, all right.
He's exactly as you'd imagine him to be.
You couldn't do more than an hour with him.
Yeah.
Did I tell you that story no i was doing a
um i was guessing on something tv thing back in the day it's crap um but um they asked me to do
it and i was like yeah i'll do it are you on a debbie downer today you feel you feel very down
i'm all right i'm all right i don't know why it's just coincidence honestly i'll cheer up in a minute
um but i um I did it because
Kelly Cates was presenting it
and she's my friend
and I really like her
and I wanted to do
some more TV stuff
to see what it'd be like
and I was like
yeah I'll do it
and it wasn't a great show
but it's nothing to do with Kelly
and the other guest
was Tim Vine
right
and we're in the green room
beforehand
waiting to come on
because it was live
and Tim Vine came running in
like a hundred mile an hour
like a just exactly as you'd imagine him to be yeah and he had this fucking script in his hand
and um he was like how you doing i'm tim nice to meet you kind of thing and um i was like yeah i'm
luke yeah blah blah and um the script he had in his hand was an episode of um of not going out
that show with oh yes i remember now yes i've
never really watched it but it's written by lemac and written by andrew collins that guy who does
everything all the time um and uh he was like i'm in a bit of a bind here um i've got i've got a
record i've got a tape um not going out tomorrow and i haven't learned my lines do you mind uh
going through the script with me so So I had to be Lee Mack
in the green room
and go through the whole script
and read his lines for him and stuff.
It's good stuff.
It's actually quite fun.
So I've got no beef with Tim Vine.
He's a very nice man.
I was happy to do him a favour.
He won't remember me,
but I remembered that.
I think I did the same show,
Talk of the Terrace on ESPN.
Do you remember that one?
Was that the show in question? I think it was, yeah. I'd actually forgot the name of. Talk of the Terrace on ESPN. Do you remember that one? Was that the show?
I think it was, yeah.
I'd actually forgot the name of it, but that is correct.
My core guests were Darren Moore,
whose career has gone from strength to strength.
That skier who broke her leg and then was airlifted to hospital.
Oh, Chemi Alcott.
She's terrible.
Chemi Alcott and Reef.
What do you think about her?
She was all right. She was alright.
She's a bit posh, isn't it?
I remember you getting fucking fuming about her
when you first came back afterwards.
Did I?
What did I say?
Saying she was annoying.
Oh, I honestly don't remember.
I honestly don't remember.
I honestly didn't feel like she was annoying.
Was there a band as well?
Reef.
Fucking hell.
The Reef, yeah.
Not doing their old stuff, though.
I think they did their old stuff.
I think they performed...
They may have performed Pleasure Hands,
which, you know, is just astonishing stuff.
Given it's like 2008 or whatever, that's pretty sad.
Yeah, well, you know.
It's a shame, isn't it?
Got to keep going.
So what were you going to say about Tim Vine?
You can't remember, can you?
Tim Vine...
No, I was saying you could have a head transplant
and you could enjoy the pun-based musings of Tim Vine.
But I didn't realise that in 1970,
a surgeon managed to transplant the head of one monkey
onto the body of another monkey.
Yeah, but the small print always says it lived for about 10 minutes.
It lived for eight days, which in monkey time,
what's that,
a month?
Do you believe that or not?
Well, I mean,
I don't think there's any footage of it,
and yeah, you're right.
I mean,
is it alive?
Is it living?
I mean,
so it wasn't connected to the spinal cord,
so there was a blood supply.
He's basically just sticking it on
and it's not falling off
and he's going, that's all and it's not falling off and he's gone that's alright
it started to rot off
but it just seems very complicated
for the net result is
a monkey that can't really
talk because it's gone
it didn't work properly
I just posted a photo in the chat
right
tell me if you've ever seen anything more depressing than that
hang on where do I get the chat up in the whats right yeah tell me if you've ever seen anything more depressing than that hang on where um how do i get the chat up uh luke in the in the whatsapp in the whatsapp right again
it's the most horrific photo of a monkey you'll ever see in your life let's have a look um
oh it's something very slow today luke there we go oh god what is that yeah exactly what's that
it's that that's the chair that's the yeah, yeah. It looks like he's sort of in front of...
Oh, the pillow.
Oh, the pillow's got blood on it or oozing something on it.
It's awful to think about people being...
And it looks like he's in the cockpit of a plane
going over the Pacific during the war, doesn't it?
It does a bit, yeah.
It looks like there's a big explosion behind it.
That kind of stuff is...
I mean, it's just awful to look at that he's got he's got
white hair so he might be an old monkey so he might have been but i can't he's not wanted that
is he he's not chosen that no i mean to be honest it would be hard to teach a monkey enough sign
language to tell everyone that he wanted i can remember when um i produced the episode of eureka
about will we ever talk to animals yeah and as we were working through it and
speaking i interviewed the expert and we're doing the research and stuff and as we got through the
planning i remember chatting to rick and michael and us all just being like yeah this is all
fucking bollocks like the progress that has apparently been made on this front is basically
nonsense because these guys just want more funding right yeah yeah so, yeah. So they just keep you keen by going,
oh, you'll never know what's around the corner.
And then Michael covered it.
Michael covered it well when he said that he did a bit on when...
So there was this gorilla that had apparently this amazing vocabulary.
Yeah.
And I think it was around the start of when the internet started to take off
and there was like Instant Chat, Aim Messenger and all that kind of stuff so whatever the public version of aim messenger was then right they did
like a a chat with the gorilla i can't remember the gorilla's name and um the gorilla's response
was automatically put into the chat and it's basically the gorilla just spent like an hour
talking about tits what the gorilla just started talking about tits so yeah it was just like
the responses
were just like
nipple
like nipple
nipple
nipple
especially reddit
especially like
any woman's
Instagram
comments
and do you remember
that kind of
that meme
story about
when
Robin Williams
went to meet
that gorilla
and they had this amazing hug with it and they connected and all the rest of it about when Robin Williams went to meet that griller.
Right. And they had this amazing hug with it, and they connected and all the rest of it.
And then Robin Williams obviously sadly died many years later.
And the chat, the story was that they told that griller the news,
and the griller got really sad.
Yeah.
Basically bollocks.
Right.
Like, never fucking happened.
The griller basically was sad about something at some point around that day. Right. And they just said, oh, yeah, the griller basically was sad about something at
some point around that day right just oh yeah the griller remembered robin williams and uh
and he's really upset about it he died why are you so silly and the sign language was just was
just like banana cabbage cabbage banana nipple yeah i missed i miss i miss his nipples there's
absolutely no so what what they can what scientists can work out is that they...
There are obviously levels of really quite high intelligence
in certain species, and they have language among themselves.
But one of the things that came out of it that was quite interesting
was about a dolphin, or a kind of school of dolphins
that could essentially identify all the different trainers in the in the complex
they were in yeah and they could describe them by saying tall or yellow jacket or whatever yeah and
and they and they could work out they were actually speaking in quite between themselves of course
between like um quite um high level intelligence like detail, which is obviously pretty interesting and makes perfect sense.
But the gap between that
and actually being able to converse with an animal
is essentially gigantic and is probably unbreachable.
And I actually read something yesterday
saying how AI could help with it
by building up a database of communication.
But then the point is, though,
you're never going to be able to get the animal to subscribe to that and when we spoke to the
expert she basically said look what you need to understand is intelligent animals are communicating
with you all the time it's just that human beings don't really know how to interpret that and to
listen to them and if you're trying to get an animal to fucking speak through some kind of
vocoder box it's just never going to happen because that's not how they communicate and
they've not evolved you can't cheat a millions and millions of years evolution
they've not evolved to communicate like that they communicate another way so basically it's just all
complete fucking nonsense i would i would sort of say that um why aren't we as the probably
presumably more intelligent creatures um why aren't we meeting them halfway and learning chimp
you know i mean it's lazy that's what she was saying. Arrogance. Yeah. So you start working on your screams
and your teeth bearing
and your throwing of shit.
Yeah.
And you do a couple of those already,
don't you?
So it's pretty easy.
Yeah.
I just think it's one of those situations
that happens in science sometimes
where people just think
it comes from a place,
first and foremost,
of,
oh, wouldn't that be really fucking cool?
And it would be,
but it's also impossible,
so just fucking stop it.
It's impossible.
That's all the UFO stuff is, though.
Wouldn't that be
really fucking cool?
And we're like,
and every week
we're just another exciting
little orb in the sky
that I've got to look at.
But you like ghosts
but not UFOs,
and I can't trust
someone like that.
Right, we're hitting
an ad break.
Fuck that.
We'll be back in a second.
Oh, it's the Luke and Pete show
and we're back with the Luke and Pete show.
See what the Luke and Pete show does.
We go away, we come back.
What?
Say Luke and Pete show again.
Luke and Pete show again.
Three times in one sentence.
Three times in one sentence.
Look, it's brand recognition.
Don't learn that at the BBC.
Brand recognition, baby.
Yeah, it would probably be some kind of undue prominence.
Yeah, it would be.
Something like that, yeah.
Half any podcast released on the fucking BBC
is some ongoing other insert product are available.
And I don't know where it started,
probably Adam and Joe or something,
other something is available.
And everyone does it
and they think it's the funniest thing in the world.
Stop it.
Stop it.
It comes from the place
that the BBC can't be seen to endorse a product
in a range, right?
But it's just like,
it's just a garden full of rakes
and you're going to end up on a rake
so just fucking mention Tesla.
You know what I mean?
Just mention something you like or don't like.
Why was that the first thing you thought of?
Because I was thinking, right, what car brand is this?
Jaguar or anything. Well, I was going to say Jaguar.
I thought, no, he's going to bring up the fact that I'm an idiot.
So I'll say Tesla.
I gave...
We had a work meeting yesterday
that Pete was in, which is rare,
by the way. I don't get the invite.
Nobody wants me in. I know. That's why it's rare.
Yeah, exactly.
And I used the analogy,
which I thought worked quite well,
and it ended up in you buying a Jaguar that you didn't want.
But it made the point perfectly, didn't it?
Correct, it did, yeah.
And one day in those meetings,
you will understand the grunts
and jumping around that I do.
Yeah, it was very rude about my favorite car um i'm back i'm back
on now now i've um fixed the vents and um taken the relays out of the um battery fuse um and um
i think you have to do that shouldn't have to do that yeah i completely agree with you on that one
um replace the slam vents in the back of the car uh taken the reels out and dried them out because they were soaking fucking wet.
It's starting to behave itself and I'm back on board.
I'm quite impressed.
The love affair has been reignited.
What I am quite impressed by,
and I'll be honest with you, I'm being sincere here,
is that clearly you've got no history of working with cars.
You didn't only pass your test very recently.
You've had no interest in them.
It's just why, isn't it?
You've been able to transfer your skill for cooking pulling things apart fixing them
to cars no i think no you know there's just a lot of other people with similar problems
and they go oh you got the internet it's the slam vents in the in the boot so like all right i'll
get some more slam vents um and then i ran out of time and the bigger boys at the garage fitted
them in the end but but you but I'd fitted one of them
but the relay thing was like
they're just wires aren't they
so as soon as they dry off
9 times out of 10 they're fine
9 times out of 10
and the 10th time you get electrocuted
you're never going to get electrocuted from a car battery
it's only 12 volts
I will go to my grave believing that
as I'm electrocuted
I'm quite keen
on getting a different car now
I've kind of fed up with mine
can I recommend
there is a
on Autotrader
a Japanese driving instructor's car
which is a
a Toyota Crown
sort of taxi
how much is it?
that's like 6 grand or something.
All my dream cars are like six grand.
I should have more sweeping aspirations, really, shouldn't I?
How much did you drop on the Jag?
Well, two grand over what my Fiat was.
And the Fiat was like seven or eight or something.
So, you know, it's not big money, is it?
It's a lot of car for ten grand, isn't it?
I don't know.
I think you should be...
I mean, I'd spend more on it when I got back, when I got it back to my house. it i don't i think you should be i mean i spent more on it when i got back when i got it back to my house yeah exactly i think you should be in
like a classic shape like 80s lexus yeah no to me is the car i'll match you to no i want a um
i want a toyota century which is a uh like a 15 grand car and it's a car chat guys um and it's
basically what the yakuza used to drive back in the day
yakuza yeah that fits you perfectly i think um this is a bit like when alan parches on mid
morning matters does match the king to the car isn't it i'm matching you to where to an 80s lexus
you're saying no you want a yakuza driven toyota yakuza uh 12 12 i quite i just want one this is
how boring i am now i just basically need a car with more space
right yeah
you got a long car
but those
sedanny ones
aren't really
big at the back
the baby just comes
with so much stuff
it's like unbelievable
Kia Sportage baby
that's the one I wanted
before Sarah said
she liked Jags
I was trying to impress a girl
oh that
now it becomes clear
because it seems
quite random
you came up with a Jag
and now it seems
obvious
well she'd mentioned
that she'd like...
I mean, I think she meant a James Dean sort of 1970s job, not a...
Oh, she almost certainly did mean it.
She obviously meant an E-Type.
Yeah, I don't know what that is.
But, yeah, one of those nice ones.
Well, E-Type's a classic Jag, isn't it?
Is that a nice one?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a nice one, yeah.
Pointy one, yeah.
But I didn't do that.
It's like a 60s or 70s car.
I just went, that'll do.
That's too big for my road.
I'll get that. It's like a 60s or 70s car. I just went, that'll do. That's too big for my road. I'll get that.
Good.
Good stuff.
So basically, you can get an E-Type Jag according to...
So I'll click on auto trailer because you mentioned it.
Right, okay.
Mate, you can get a pretty decent 1974 Jaguar E-Type 5.4 manual petrol convertible
with 111,000 miles on it, right?
That's not a lot.
For a mere 125 grand.
Fucking hell.
I mean...
It's a classic.
Because I presume those kind of cars...
I've dropped it into WhatsApp for you.
You kind of have to drop a lot of money every year to keep them running.
And I guess 120 isn't...
It sounds like people have had a good go at driving it, I suppose.
Because a lot of those kind of cars...
Mate, look at the picture of that.
It's an absolute fucking classic.
Look at the sidearm picture of it.
It looks amazing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, that's a proper car.
But you only ever see men with no hair driving down a motorway in their later years.
And it looks like their hair's flown off.
So I think,
so if you've got like an amazing supercar,
Right.
I think it would be quite cool
if,
because whenever you see someone like a Ferrari
or one of those,
like you say,
they're kind of like Brexit Central,
older blokes,
they're very uncool,
and it's like,
okay, great.
I'm not going to look at you.
I'm bringing the mean age of Jaguar down
by at least one year
but I think
if you were quite a cool
young person
who wasn't one of those
kind of
you know
Andrew Tate types
but you're just a little bit
kind of alternative
and you had one
I think that might look quite
that'd be quite a nice flex
but that's what I mean
I think youth is
waste on the young
and all that
but I would say that
if I was to get into cars properly
and I was a rich young person,
why would you want a fucking Maserati or a Tesla?
Why would you want those things?
Why don't you just get an absolute...
I mean, awful to drive, I imagine.
But why don't you just get some nice, old, classic,
sort of 80s Lotus Esprits or something?
Oh, that's class. That'd be brilliant.
I think they're all,
aren't they all just really dangerous?
Yeah, I think one of the things that,
one of the issues is that
the dashboard splits down the middle,
which is not what you want to see, really, is it?
No, definitely not.
Pete, let's get out of here
because we're out of time
and I would like, ideally,
to talk about the guy
who's stepping down from voicing Mario
after however many years
27 years
but we'll do that next time around
so thank you very much for listening to the Luke and Pete show
on this Monday
we will be back on Thursday as usual
with more of this so do get in touch
hello at lukeandpete.com is the email address
we are at
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day baby it's always there waiting for you um but yeah we'll see you on thursday have a nice week
say goodbye peter goodbye goodbye from me too the luke and pete show is a stack production and part of the acast creator network