The Luke and Pete Show - Bali or bust

Episode Date: September 12, 2024

Donny considers joining a retreat for 'entrepreneurial' men in Bali after Luke suggests his true calling is becoming an influencer.Plus, Pete can't contain his excitement over a rare badger sighting.Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

P1 with Matt and Tommy is the only F1 podcast you need this F1 season. We thought this season was going to be, well, a bit rubbish. But with Red Bull struggling and Lando Norris pushing closer and closer to the title, we are in for an amazing end to this year's F1 season. Join us for our reaction minutes after the chequered flag falls across practice, qualifying and races every weekend. You'll also get our weekly driver rating series, predictions episodes and loads more. Everything to keep you up to date with the most exciting sport in the world.

Thought this F1 season was going to be boring? Think again. Search P1 with Matt and Tommy in your podcast app to subscribe and listen now. It's the Luke and Pete show, I'm Pete Donaldson, we've got battery daddies, we've got legit daddies on this show. It's all going off like a frog in a sock as they say. How you doing Lucky Mo, you alright? Not bad, not bad thank you. Alright, good. I'm still reeling from one day when my cat tried to trash my house for no reason.

Yeah, well, I think that's the price we pay for growing older and having inviting creatures into our homes. This cat's ten years old now, you should know better. You can't have outnights You can't have outnights You should be behind him, you should be well behind him There's pens, pens all over the floor They go a bit mental when it's really bad weather outside I think it's just not atmospheric pressure generally just fucks with our heads a bit

And full moons Full moons, okay, right Is it? Yeah, yeah, crime increases on full moons as well. Ah, I... There's been quite a lot of... There's a lot of fox action around our area, but there's been a few badgers being seen in my street, and I find that very exciting. Have you ever seen a honey badger fighting like a lion or something? You don't get honey badgers in Britain, Peter. Yeah, I know, but if you ever see a honey badger, even though they're related, aren't

they? Honey badger fighting a big old lion or something, or a couple of lions, and it's like, fuck, this is amazing. Like, a badger would never go anything, wouldn't it? A car. It's not, I mean, a honey badger isn't really a badger though, is it? I think it's just got a name. It has to be, hasn't it? If you call them badger, that's just bad advertising. Yeah, but I think it's more of a weasel, isn't it? Like a tough weasel. Well, a badger is a tough weasel as well. I saw a shrew this morning. It's all going off. Love it. A shrew?

I think I saw a shrew. I'm not sure about that. They're kinda long, aren't they? They've got long noses. It's like a long rodent. Yeah, a long rodent with a long nose. Yeah, I think I did, yeah. What was the context? Sammy saw it way too late. Sammy just chased after it and I was like, that's not a mouse or a rat. That's all long. That's very interesting. My cat brought a rat in once and it was fucking massive.

It set the hair stat still up in the back of my neck when I saw it. I was like, what the fuck is that? Also, I've seen a real badger behind some bins back down in gospel. Yeah, me too. They're massive. And yeah, it was gigantic. Absolutely gigantic. It was frightening. But they're just like, they just sort of roll around, aren't they?

They don't really, they never look, they eat just a lot of worms, don't they? They're like big worm guys, aren't they? They spend most of the time doing that. Interesting. They're like, they're pretty sure they're nocturnal, aren't they? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you? Like me, really, no.

You're nocturnal? No, I'm very turnable. You were at uni. Wasn't uni, no, I've completely changed my, I'm like a quarter five, quarter five, quarter six guy these days. Wait, you get up a quarter six? Yeah, yeah.

I do a lot of like, I do like a lot, nine. I do like a lot of, I get in bed about nine, and I'm happy with that, to be quite frank. Yeah, I do a lot of like, I do like a lot of, nine. I do like a lot of, I get in bed about nine and I'm happy with that to be quite frank. Yeah, I would be. Yeah, I, just things on. We do quite a lot of Broad in Japan at 6 a.m. and I thought that would be quite difficult, but it is, I'm so good at that time

and I get so worse during the day. We should record everything at 6am, I've decided. Because you know what, my brain's quite fuzzy and I can't remember stuff. That's because during the day I'm just a man at a buffet picking up spaghetti, different kind of spaghetti, plonking it all on my plate. I don't know where the Chinese food ends and the steak starts. I don't know where all that, you know, it's just a mess. But at 6am there's some clarity there because my brain hasn't woken up yet and started

absorbing shite that I don't need. So when you woke up at quarter six what's the first thing you do in the morning? Put my headphones on, make a coffee and maybe watch a 5 minute YouTube video about a man from a used car company called Hypee Kortoz and he might have picked up a Toyota MX for cheap. Have you ever thought about being an Instagram influencer? A self help influencer? Like that video of all those guys in barley. Oh I love those men. There's something, again it goes back to the

cottaging last week, at least the fur of glances from the urinals is men wanting to look at each other's willies. But there's these videos, there's these places where these men can go. Explain it to the listeners who may not have seen it, Peter. Men who have had their brains destroyed by whey protein and trens and steroids. Just explain what it's advertised as. There's a lot of men who like working out and they call themselves entrepreneurs. Yeah, even though they don't actually do anything.

Always on the daily grind and always trying to make money etc etc. There's these retreats that I believe do exist where men go and live in these kind of like tree houses for a week or two with other men who just spend time working out, not drinking alcohol, lest they get tempted, and they work out and they work out and they work out and they work on their businesses and you're not allowed to drink alcohol. Do you want me to read the transcript of the video advert for it? Read the transcript, yeah, read the transcript of the video. Alright, hang on a sec, I'll do it now.

No junk food, no women, no parties, and no alcohol. This place banned everything that is not making men grow. It's an exclusive venue hidden in the mountains of Bali that is perfect for the guys who want a place to focus 100% on their goals without distractions. It has a huge, fully equipped gym, a spa with hot and cold pools, a wood burning sauna and a team of private chefs that cook healthy food any time of the day. Hundreds of successful businessmen, top tier athletes and self development enthusiasts have already joined the community and completely changed their lives. But not anyone can join.

To enter you need to submit an application to prove that you are dedicated enough to be a part of the community. Would you come here? I think we should do it. So imagine that, voiceovered by a kind of AI-ish bloke, with endless scenes of men with their tops off doing stuff with each other. Eating steak, writing in their journals, talking to each other about their businesses. And I would love to just- The first comment Pete on that that video was do I have to bring my own condoms?

It's just wonderfully repressed a lot of it, it really is good stuff isn't it, like these lonely men who were just hyper focused on their hustle and insisting the urge to suck each other off. It's just great. We're saying don't resist it. If that's what you want to do, it's fine. Don't resist it. If that's what you want to do, do it for Cry Not Loud. These are the types of guys who would also say work in a... For example, I used to stack shelves at Safeway, as you know, and Asda. Nothing wrong with that. Important job. I actually really loved it.

I loved being in the centre of the community. I enjoyed doing it. It was quite fun. But these kinds of people would do that when they were sort of 18 or 19 like I did, but they would probably caveat the fact that they work in a supermarket by saying, yeah, but I basically spend all my time

working on my side hustles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm an entrepreneur. My, I work on the markets. I've got my investments. I remember being at an event, a family occasion event in the US a number of years ago and there was a friend of my wife's family there with her boyfriend. Yeah. And he was one of those. Right. Okay.

He was, I told you about him a bit before he went for a phase of only eating beef and butter and raw eggs. Right. Okay. And so he, and I said to him, Oh, just got to go chatting, you know, what you're up to kind of thing. And he was like, Oh, I work in a, um, a gas station, like a petrol station. So yeah, but I've, I'm an entrepreneur.

I've got my own business as well. Um, I'm, you know I'm a really passionate entrepreneur. I was like, okay, you're fine. I mean, obviously I worked for seven, eight, nine years full time while we were doing this before we made enough money to do whatever we're doing now. So who am I to judge? But I couldn't really get to the bottom of what actually he was doing. He kept saying, it's a real estate marketing strategy that I sell to people. And I was like, okay, what actually is that? I'm seeing the pyramid. Yeah, but what actually is that though? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a hit e-books. Look at e-books.

Yeah, so exactly. So he would just say the same thing, but in a different order. He'd go, well, it's marketing for real estate people. It just helps them with their strategy. Right. And to the point where afterward the event and the function finished, next day or whatever, I was looking at his Instagram. And the Instagram was really kind of busy, as in he put lots of stuff on it.

Didn't have any followers, but he had loads of content on it. And it didn't actually say anything. All it really kept saying was $299. I guess he's just trying to trick enough people to give him money. At least people are the people who are going to Bali, is what I'm saying.

Yeah, there's a lad who went to my school who, I presume, is relatively successful. He certainly hired a private jet for a, well, not even a private jet, even on those kind of regional kind of planes you can sort of float around with for a few weeks for a couple of grand? And he hired one over the last European tournament. And so he's bobbing around Europe in that. But he basically is like, he works in like was it when he it's not quite it's physiotherapy isn't it yeah it's like he works in physiotherapy and he's got a little

uh business in Hartlepool but then he kind of floats around doing like kind of inspiring American physiotherapists to do like um to do like to maximize their profits basically in a profit based system because obviously it's more lucrative than the one we've got inside the NHS and it's quite hard to secure funding from the NHS. So he basically just spends his time just going around like going to you know, exports in like Florida and stuff and his timeline is just all this kind of like Maximize your profits maximize your kind of like income and all of these very fit physiotherapists in America do and and you know nice enough blocking stuff, but it just seems to be very

Nebulous stuff very like it doesn't seem to be any Physical actual stuff. It just seems to be pep. I'm selling pep. And there's no actual takeaways. Why is it successful then? I presume you're doing enough. Well, I presume there's enough people in the room spending 200 quid on the entry fee for the, you know. And I suppose if you're in that world,

like if somebody said to us, I've got a big kind of, I'm an expert in podcasts, for 200 quid you can come and watch my thing on how to grow a podcast and stuff. We probably wouldn't do it because we've kind of grown up around, certainly the UK sort of podcast industry. Because we're too busy making actual podcasts, that's why. That's what I mean, It's not really making anything. It's just working around the periphery and stuff.

They say that the best investors never give investment advice. Yes, yeah, completely agree. There's no real benefit to it. Like this guy I'm talking about, when I last checked back on him after this incident, the next thing he was doing, literally like a few months later, was standing posing at

some kind of craft fair dressed as like a ringmaster of a circus, saying he was doing free, come by today and receive a 20 minute mini reading of your Divine Spark, a combination of your numerology, astrology, human design. Enter a free raffle to win a chance of a one-of-a-kind custom-made book called Your Divine Spark, which is worth $333. I'll give you a, this is a book your parents should have received when they left the hospital

to help you understand you and your unique design. And it's like, none of that actually means anything. No, and also it reminds me of the, when I went to Kelvin and Hatch and there was that ghost hunting company. If you say something with a straight face, people really lap it up. Do you know what I mean? If you can get past talking absolute dribble, this podcast accepted, if you could get around talking absolute dribble but have such confidence in your oratory skills and and And people buying your shit and the situation you're in you know the world is yours

And if you just have no self respect like the world is yours too And you can fritter from you can flip from one kind of ex bit of expertise to another With no paper trail tying you to anything or any kind of notoriety where somebody could sort of go, hang on, weren't you an investor, you know, venture capitalist five minutes ago, now you're doing faith healing. Like what is this? I actually find that speech quite inspiring Pete, I might have to... Would you be interested? Just say everything with a straight... just...

It's almost like rapping. Just don't give anyone any space to talk back at you. Just keep talking until your time's done. Turn on your heel, take the 200 quid and get out the door. Would you be surprised to note that the twist in the tale about this guy I'm talking about is that he rapidly went on instantly after that to Covid denial. Right, okay, yeah, I mean he sounds like a man who loves a podcast, loves a bit of, what's his policy on Jon Peterson? Sounds like that might be right on Mistralza as well. The other thing I would say is that he introduced his then girlfriend because, because, because I keep, I keep forgetting the actual link. It was either a family friend, he was there as a family friend

of a husband of one of my wife's friends. And then later on he introduced, at a later event he introduced his girlfriend, who seemed really lovely. Like it was like a surprise to me that like this, he had, this had happened. And then she opened her mouth and she was insane. So it kind of fit.

But they're all susceptible to the same thing. Speaking of that though, did you see this story that broke last week about all those right wing content creators who it's been leaked. I can't exactly remember how it was leaked, but it's been leaked that I can't exactly remember how it was leaked, but it's been leaked that all of them have been funded by Russian RT, Russia Today. Right. Okay.

So basically I'll take this story in a bit more of a coherent way. So there's these quite a large number of American quote unquote conservative influencers who have adopted all these positions that essentially are causing chaos in the United States and beyond. So like anti-COVID stuff, anti-Ukraine stuff, obviously, just essentially just adopting a load of well-established, like Kremlin-friendly, chaotic positions. And I mean, including like, you know, Republican Senate candidates, presidential candidates from the Republican side, they've all been involved in this media company's output. And it's turned out that some kind of information has been leaked or it's been requested and had to be handed over under subpoena, something like that, that has shown that this company, they're called Tenant Media, who run all this

stuff. They've got millions and millions of followers across all social media, across their different brands and different personalities on their shows. They've essentially been accepting, I think it's now up to $10 million from Russia today. Cheaper half the price you would say. Yeah and it's been yeah they've done and of that 10 million dollars 8.7 million of that money has gone to the three biggest online content creators that they've that they platform all of whom are basically household names on the right of politics in the United States. So essentially they're either total morons or

genuinely treacherous to the country of their birth, like American traitors, or both. Yeah, and they should be treated as... But if they're ever indicted for any of this, it will be literally... Oh, death of free speech, is it? Exactly. And you know what? And so last night, time recording this, last night I went to a conversational event with Anne Applebaum. Do you know her? No. So she is a Pulitzer Prize winning historian and writer. She's a staff writer for the Atlantic now I think, which is a great magazine that I subscribe to. But she's worked for everyone.

She's a really well respected historian and journalist about essentially specializing in Central and Europe, Eastern Europe and Russia, and its relation to the United States. She run the Pulitzer for a book called Gulag about the Soviet Union, the history of the Gulags and stuff. Anyway, she was doing this conversation

with the guy who runs Tortoise Media. And so I went along to it. And she was just painting a picture that was so kind of interesting, but she was so passionate and angry about it. Essentially saying, you know, this Russian tactic of modern high tech asymmetrical warfare on the West has been like astonishingly successful, like Brexit, Trump, destabilization of the democratic order, social media manipulation, content creation. Basically saying that Russia has been at war with the West for years and years and years. And really, even now, we in the West are still too stupid to even notice it, let alone do anything about it. And she was making that link between that kind of stuff and the idea that, you know, London has been happily washing Russian money for years and years and years, up until the sanctions

that came about after the invasion of Ukraine a couple of years ago. But like the idea like, we have to basically get real. Like her book is called Autocracy, Inc. about how these nations, these autocratic nations, Russia, China, Iran, North Korea, a few others, are really pragmatically, even though their outlooks are quite different, just pragmatically joining together just to sow absolute chaos in the democratic West and still we do fucking nothing about it. So we still platform like that. And it's just so affordable, do you know what I mean? It's like compared to what you think it would cost. It just seems to like, it's just so cheap, isn't it? I mean, that'd be stupid enough

to do it. I'm sorry, cheap literally, but also cheap metaphorically because it's essentially war by other means, isn't it? They've got a hot war in Ukraine, fine, but separate from that, just this idea that we still, as an area of the world, the Western Hemisphere, whatever you want to call it, we still unveil things like this stuff I've just talked about here, or the idea that Nigel Farage, basically powered by dark money through Aaron Banks and all the rest of it, it's fucking hugely problematic links, yet he's still a member of parliament. You know, Boris Johnson goes... Yeah, yeah, he puts the shits up, yet he can still from...

The towel wags a dog, right? Like he can still put the shits up a Labour majority government at this point in time. They can't announce certain policies lest his little gang of absolute imbeciles go after them. What she was saying, like one of the guys who was there last night was also saying, the idea is that you've got to get real. Look at the example he was using, he was a Spanish journalist. The idea he brought to the table was that, you know, Boris Johnson went to like Lake Como and met with like Lebedev, who was an ex KGB agent.

And not only did Boris Johnson do that without any security there as foreign secretary, and he didn't debrief to any of the intelligence services. He got made prime minister, no questions asked. And then Evgeny Lebedev was made a peer. The way the Spanish guy was saying it was like, this is ridiculous. It's absolutely ridiculous. Bearing in mind that, which MP got in trouble sort of meeting in Israel, I think, without telling anybody, without declaring, I think. Was that Patelel was that Patel was it right? Yeah, I think it was yeah, yeah, cuz she got chucked out Yeah wild absolutely wild and and and yet Boris Johnson can literally, you know have dodgy little muggy little meetings with you know

So so very very just out of some writing work. I imagine Well paid writing work as well even though he's a fucking dreadful writer. But the overall kind of tenet of the, to use the pun intended, to use the conversation was the idea that what we don't do is we don't make the links between these things effectively enough. So the example given was that, you know, the property in London is so expensive to the point, and I'm in that situation now, right, so I wouldn't mind a family property in London is so expensive to the point, and I'm in that situation now, right? So I wouldn't mind a family home in London, right? But it's gonna be really difficult.

And we understand why it's difficult. Everyone's in the same boat, but, and we've kind of accepted it. So what we'll do is we'll move somewhere else, right? But what Applebaum was saying was that it's because you don't make the connection. A large part of the reason why property's so expensive in London is because the prices have been driven up by London willingly accepting anonymous people of massive, probably stolen wealth, buying

up all the property, which has sent the market through the roof. And so citizens of the country now can't afford to buy property. Let me tell you that. But no one makes sense. So they're not saying- It's about the small bots. It's the small bots. Yeah, well exactly.

They clearly want a bunch of coins. She's saying no one is saying the London property market is overinflated and completely out of control because London is washing Russian and to an extent Saudi money. They're not making those connections. Half these massive buildings are just left dormant anywhere because most of them can't get into the country because of all of the difficulties. Right, we've got to take a short break. We have to have a break after that.

We simply have to. I was going to talk about the Daily Wires' Mr Burcham, but we'll do that next time. We'll do it next week. Yeah, fuck it man. We'll do it next week. Come on. P1 with Matt and Tommy is the only F1 podcast you need this F1 season. We thought this season was going to be, well, a bit rubbish. But with Red Bull struggling and Lando Norris pushing closer and closer to the title, we

are in for an amazing end to this year's F1 season. Join us for our reaction minutes after the chequered flag falls across practice, qualifying and races every weekend. You'll also get our weekly driver rating series, predictions episodes and loads more. Everything to keep you up to date with the most exciting sport in the world. Thought this F1 season was going to be boring? Think again. Search P1 with Matt and Tommy in your podcast app to subscribe and listen now. with some battery brands and maybe we'll have time for just one email. Ben has got in touch, if you've found a battery wherever you might be, we want to hear from you. Hello at lookingpicture.com is the way to do it.

You can send it via, I think we send it via Twitter can't we? Or Instagram if you fancy it. Do what you want. Do what you want for crying out loud. Gritty, hello, found this one in a fire stick remote and been looking for an excuse to show you my truly disgusting tour. The mother stood on it when I was a baby. It has no feeling, it grows in layers like a talon and occasionally the nail just falls off. Sounds like a fucking medieval witch's curse. It looks like a normal toe but it does look like tree bark at the same time.

Yeah that's so funny. So that happened when he was a baby, his mum stood on his toe and that's affected him for the rest of his life. Maybe people want to have handsome adults. It looks like a Popeye. Well if you've got a baby right and you want your baby to have... The toe, look at it, it looks like Popeye. It doesn't look like Popeye.

Don't you lie to the good people. It looks like Popeye's forearm. Look at me. Do you not think that like, you know like, cause she stood on her toe there, on her baby, on the baby's toe, and it's done this, right? As a grown up. You know in the same way that you can, you know when you're like drawing a balloon and then the balloon deflates

and the picture gets really small and intricate. You're like, I could never have drawn that so delicately if it wasn't inflated. You should do plastic surgery on babies because then they grow up to be very handsome, beautiful people, but you don't have to, it's not gonna cost you much. Do you know what I mean?

Make the modifications early on and then the body can sort of build on it. And I think that should be allowed. Anyway. I think if you're a doctor listening to this and you are against that, you need to give us some pretty fucking good reasons why. Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hypocrite golf, up my arse.

No, I need some help up my arse. Ben, you're gritty. Yeah, gritty. No, no, listen Ben, we like the fact that you've shared your toe. It's a good story. You're the 43rd person sending grittitty's, you know where you're at. Really? Wow. So you didn't have to up your game there. No, no, never mind.

Andy, hi chaps, long time, 100th time, etc. I'm in the deepest depths of Wisconsin on Labor Day at a county fair. Despite my original excitement, I've come out to find that it's a glorified Romford market. My only silver lining is that it's an absolute gold mine for shoddy batteries. I humbly submit Enuffelec, which is a wonderful bit of, I'm presuming Chinese English, kind of like, there's enough in there, electricity. Enough electricity. And Casabra, which sounds like something that, that sounds Eastern European

to me. I promise both are purchased not because I need them, but because game recognises game and I respect the stringent T's and C's of Battery Daddy submissions. Hoes and Kisses always Andy. Casabra and also Enoughlek. Yeah, I mean Enoughlek and Casabra are both brand new players. We've never seen them before. Beautiful. Fantastic stuff. great to see. I can't believe we're still unveiling them, but we are, and congratulations to you, Andy.

Fantastic work, and I'm sad to hear that the Deepest Steps of Wisconsin aren't much better than a glorified Romford Market. I've always felt like Wisconsin might be a pretty cool place. You've been to Wisconsin, Peter, because you've been to Milwaukee, right? Oh, is that in Wisconsin, is it? Sure is, brother. Are you sure, because you've fallen foul of, right? Oh, is that in Wisconsin, is it? Sure is, brother.

Are you sure? Because you've fallen foul of this kind of area before. I'd hate for you to get pelters on Twitter. At the time of recording, Milwaukee was certainly in the US state of Wisconsin. Okay, good stuff. It may have changed. It may have changed.

The reason I know that is because I looked it up when you told our US promoter once that you were leaving Chicago early to go to Milwaukee and he was absolutely stunned. He was like, Chicago's one of the greatest cities in the world. Why the fuck are you going to Milwaukee? And I said to him, what's Milwaukee like? And I always remember it is amazingly like, like quite camp New York accent. He went, I mean, Milwaukee's fine, but it's not like you gotta go. I had to go and I did go. Well you had to go because you booked.

Yeah, I booked the train for crying out loud. It's nice to experience an American train for once. Was it nice? Was it a good place? I mean it's okay. It's not like you gotta go. It's not like you gotta go, but I went. Casaba Extra Heavy G, I very much enjoy the design on the front of the blister pack. It's got 0.0% mercury didn't need that decimal point really did you

didn't need that extra zero just say 0% or just say no mercury didn't need the percentage. Why would we be expecting mercury in this scenario what's the contact there? I think back in the day they used to have mercury and that's why they you know battery acid used to be you know bad stuff. I told you my mercury story with a mercury maker in my house one day it just just leaked out, disappeared, no one mentioned it, no one cared. Just went missing, just went missing. Andre Quagio, I think that's how you say that. Great name. Great name.

Hello there, look at the pizza. I work for a bank in Brazil and today a security crew is trying to up the game here. When we opened the larger safe, they found these puppies as backup batteries for the safe door. It's my fourth email, but this one I'm sure belongs

in the Battery Daddy night. Now, my God, obviously, I mean, it's a safe. You know, you've got important, important things kicking around in here. C cells, six of them, that could power my electric bin for about three years, that kind of voltage, that kind of amperage. So well done, well done that Brazilian safe company.

Yeah, and Bass Penrity is our brand new player, we've never seen those before. Nice, okay. We've got three new players this week. Alcalina C, baby. Lovely stuff, congratulations to all our listeners. I hope those batteries keep all of the precious documents and monies and fake passports. Jewels, fake passports. Why would there be fake passports? Just a safe isn't it? I think of a safe, I think fake passport, a wad of cash.

I always think of safes, I can only think of safes in the sphere of safes that people have bought at auction and they spend hours on Facebook opening them with angle grinders, only you to realise there's just a bit of wet water in it. Wet water! That's my favourite kind of water. Exactly. Alright Peter, well listen, do you want to do a quick email? Alright let's bash out a quick one. I know you've got to go by quarter past one.

I ain't got to be anywhere for another five minutes, yeah that's alright. So I was doing a very quick one then, so I did promise on quick one. I know you've got to go by quarter past one. I ain't got to be anywhere for another five minutes. So I did promise on Monday that I'd give you an update on Southend Airport, courtesy of our friend and listener Chris. Okay. Thanks for emailing Chris. Has it become a notorious dogging site? Like I assume most of the emails are detailing.

No, you would know. Chris says, hi Luke, but mainly Pete. Pete was recently lamenting the lack of choices he had with flying from London's Southend Airport. You will no doubt be pleased to know that as of next spring he will have the option of flying to a range of new destinations as easyJet reopen their base there. Yeah they closed for a bit didn't they but now they're back. Antalya, Tenerife, Dalaman, Gran Canaria, Marrakesh, Tunisia, Pisa, Malta,

Almeria or Royce, where will Diggery be off to now as the world or at least the parts of the world that are accessible from Southend become his very tasty oyster. My food. Sincerely as a first-time emailer Chris. And you're in the first team Chris, one might suggest. So are you gonna start availing yourself of those opportunities Peter? My food is about to get a whole lot more tasty because I'm gonna go to Morocco because I'm obsessed with bazaars in video games that have perfectly pyramid, sort of pointy bags of spice.

You know, you see like, you know, just piles and piles of cinnamon and stuff. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, of course. And they're always piled up in a perfect pyramid and I don't know how they do them and I just like get my hand in one, just whizz it around a bit. Do the cinnamon challenge. Do the cinnamon challenge. My mum, my mum, bury your face in it, my mum brought me back a tagine from Morocco once and I've never once used it.

You've never made a tagine? Never used it. I'll come round and I'll make you a tagine, I'm quite good at them. No thank you. I will put 15 dried apricots in it. 15 Luke. Imagine that. You've got me back at the negotiating table with that. Thank you very much. Thanks very much for letting us know though Chris, it's good to know the opportunities you've got right on your doorstep Peter. Yeah. Google Maps is telling me it's a very, very short drive from where you live to South End Airport.

It is, yeah. I mean, incredible really. I've been there for 10 minutes, hasn't it? Yeah, amazing. I'm just double checking, but I think I'm right on the same thing. I can't take my scooter because it's been stolen by some local tour rags. It's a 14 minute drive.

Imagine that, you can be back in your house, like 14 minutes from leaving the airport, that's wild. I could land on a Sunday morning and then go and play football at the Len Forge Centre around the corner two minutes away something like that. Very nice. I don't know who Len Forge was. Don Styler, do you remember my Don Styler assault course where I grew up? Oh yeah, it's that little assault course behind a big fence. Yeah yeah anyway all right let's go. Who knows who Len Forge was. Take us out of your pizza. Yes we'll be back very, very soon. I'm going to spend my weekend Googling who Len Forge was, really.

Len Forge. A normal pursuit. A normal pursuit, indeed. Yes, we'll be back. Oh, goodness. Even if the Len Forge centre did come with somewhat of a reputation, it doesn't matter. Right, we're back on Monday. Look after yourselves.

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