The Luke and Pete Show - ‘Diggory’ Mills, the snake-catcher
Episode Date: February 16, 2023Luke has discovered the 19th-century version of Pete Donaldson. You’ll never guess his profession…Pete then airs his dirty laundry with Luke following comments about his clothes, Luke continues to... air his dirty laundry with Thames Water, and both lads air their dirty laundry with pop-punk covers.Have any dirty laundry to air? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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We're just two sexy boys
Sexy boys
It's the Luke and Pete show
It is Thursday the 6th of February
My name is Pete Donaldson
I nearly said my name is Luke Moore there
What's going on?
You did that in the ramble
You nearly said Pete Donaldson
I did
My name's Brasher Mills
The snake catcher
Whoa
Is that the guy who lived in a national park and caught snakes for money?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's cool, right?
It's not bad.
I would just need to know.
He seemed to be a man.
You sent me a link last night, and I very much enjoyed the story.
And it's kind of just a man who...
Shall I read the story?
Yeah, go on.
Okay, right.
Well, hello, everyone.
Hello, hi.
I wanted to say hi.
I don't want to bombard people with
some absolute top
level premium content
straight out the gate.
Sometimes I think
people need to be
eased into it.
They do yeah.
Settle in.
Like when you go to
a nice restaurant
they don't just say
bang main course.
Yeah I think
I think that's
hitting people with
content
just a really good
way to get a UTI
this early.
It's just kind of
like oh fuck
it burns
I need to be eased
into the bath
and take a piss afterwards
take a piss afterwards
yeah exactly
so the content
based around
Brusher Mills
is as follows
this is from
the New Forest
National Parks
website
don't ask why
I was on it
can't remember
but it's a guy
called Brusher Mills
who lived from
1840 to 1905
and grew up in the village of Emery Down and worked as a labourer.
But in his 40s, he moved into an old charcoal burner's hut
in the woodlands near Brockenhurst and took up catching snakes for a living.
So armed with a forked stick and a sack,
he set about ridding local properties of grass snakes and adders.
He sent some to London zoos,
food for the birds of prey,
and used others to make ointments
to treat snake bites and other ailments.
It is thought that he caught around 30,000 snakes
during his 18 years as a snake catcher.
These days, he would have to choose
a different professional path
because all the New Forest reptiles
are, of course,
are under special protection these days.
But he was given the brush and nickname
because he used to sweep the cricket pitch
at Balmer Lawn between innings
whenever a match was played.
A simple man who loved a simple life.
He lived contentedly, Pete,
in his mud hut in the New Forest,
apart from a spell in the workhouse
because he caught the flu,
which they don't go into detail on.
That's the last person you want to put someone with flu, isn't it?
Yeah, I always forget what the deal was with workhouses and free medicine.
I think it was something to do with the work, if you wanted the medicine.
I don't know.
I'm probably wrong on that one.
Look at the latest Tory manifesto you've probably seen.
So Brusher was a popular catcher in Brockenhurst,
who regularly enjoyed a drink at the railway inn,
which is now named the Snake Catcher in his
honour. I'm sure it's a lovely pub, the
Snake Catcher in Brockenhurst. And he was
a popular tourist attraction at the local fairs.
He was distraught though towards the end
of his life because his hut was vandalised and he was left
homeless. And then
he ended up living in an outbuilding at his favourite
hostelry. Yeah. And died
not long afterwards. Living in an
outbuilding in a hostelry, that's
lovely stuff. Levengem and Mr Pete Dawson.
The reason I wanted to bring that to the table
was a fascinating story about a guy
who, you know, of a time that's
no longer with us. You know, those
days are gone now, the late 19th
century. But he had the same,
weirdly, just had the same energy as you.
Like a 19th century energy,
Pete Dawson. I can definitely see yourself,
see you in the 19th century
being a bit of a kind of
roustabout type, itinerant type,
schemer, if you know what I mean.
Yeah.
I'm not saying it'd be snake catching.
It could be...
I think it'd need to be something
a bit more technologically advanced.
What would it be for that period?
It'd be steampunk.
Spinning Jenny, Obsessive.
Talks about him.
He doesn't own one.
Talks about it a lot.
Oh, what?
Pete, the guy with the cotton gin?
Could be that, couldn't it?
Could be that.
I think it's a lovely idea,
just sort of a man who, in your words,
cuts about.
But it's a lonely life, isn't it?
And it sounds like he had a great time on the land.
And apparently, as I said, his house got vandalised.
Yeah.
Just kids, though, isn't it?
Is it kids?
But then they said that it might have been somebody who owned the land
that didn't want him to have squatter's rights when squatter's rights came in.
Oh, so basically he'd been there so long, they were like, get rid of him.
Yeah.
But he's a simple man.
He only needs a little bit of land.
He lived in what sounds like a little shed in a pub.
Well, the Victorian era was obviously a very harsh era,
but you'd have to have a very hard heart indeed
to deny Brusher Mills his heart.
Yeah.
His Victorian mud heart.
Just let him have a little mud heart for crying out loud.
It's hardly grand designs, is it?
No, it's not.
And you read,
television wouldn't have become him
for a very long time after that,
but you read that biog there, there and you think that sounds like a pretty
nice life sweeping the cricket lawn catching the snakes knocking about in nature my question to you
though is in reality is that a good like would that be nice well it's just nice that he reinvented
himself in his 40s there's hope for all of us true True, actually. So if you do a pivot now, get yourself down to the
new forest. Well, there's snakes
on Two Tree Island in Essex
near where I live. What kind of snakes
do you know? I think it might be adders, you know?
Adders are the ones that you know.
I don't know, actually. I think it might be adders,
isn't it? They're poisonous, aren't they? Well, you get adders
in Epping Forest, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I think
they're venomous,
actually, Peter, but I know what you meant.
Okay.
Adders, yes.
There has been an increased sightings
of adders around Lee-on-Sea.
This adder was spotted
at the bottom of Lee Steps
in the Brilton Hills Nature Reserve.
They are...
They're just cutting about.
That's really near my house.
Or not.
So they are venomous.
They're not the only snakes
living around there.
They're not... They are venomous, but're not the only snakes living around there.
They are venomous, but to the point of where I think if you got bitten by one, you'd probably be okay.
Okay.
I think it's a small charge where an elderly person
doesn't get medical attention quickly enough.
Right.
We're not talking about, you know, black mamba stuff here.
No.
We're not talking about high levels of neurotoxins.
But can't you survive every bite if you get seen quickly enough?
I think there are some spiders and snakes that it's pretty much curtains.
Because apparently in the UK there are people with venom,
and I've probably spoken about this before.
This is an interesting little quirk.
They've got anti-venom in certain sites around the UK,
but they are 25 miles away from different parts of the country
so that they can be served very quickly.
Oh, nice.
So you go, Dave, it's been an adder bite.
We need some of the anti-venom for the adder to turn up.
But if, I think there are some, I think it's the black mamba.
Forgive me if this is wrong,
but I think the black mamba is a very potent neurotoxin.
Nightclub.
I think the only way you can get through it
is if
dance it off
is if you get to a ventilator
quick enough
and wait for it to wear off
right
there hasn't been
there hasn't been a
developed anti-venom for it
so your lungs just
your lungs just go
nah
well there was
there was a story
nah mate
I think I mentioned it on the show
many years ago
but there was a story of a guy
who essentially had a version
of locked in syndrome
because he got bitten
by a black man
but he was still conscious yeah um it seemed like a lot of locked in syndrome because he got bitten by a black man but he was
still conscious
yeah
sounds like a lot
of fun
he could hear his
family debating
whether to turn
his life support
machine off or not
and they didn't
they didn't in the
end he was fine
he worked his way
through it but I
mean that's kind of
what you're dealing
with I don't think
you're getting that
from an adder in
Leon C
no
what about that
what about the
snake that they
that Jake the Snake
got to bite
Macho Man Randy
Savage with it was really horrible so Jake the Snake got to bite Macho Man Randy Savage with?
It was really horrible.
So Jake the Snake must have got bitten a load of times
over the years.
I guess so, yeah.
He was banned from having snakes for quite a while
when he lived in St Albans.
Just don't give an alcoholic a snake.
First of all, what are you doing in St Albans?
Secondly, if it involves putting a snake in a sack
and chucking him into the middle of a wrestling ring
in front of 60,000 people,
that snake should not be there.
I see so much of that on Instagram now.
I don't think people fully appreciate
what they're putting the animals through.
There's a load of quirky, cutesy, adventurous
cat Instagram accounts.
Oh, look at my cat surfing.
Yeah, the cat doesn't want to fucking be there.
No.
If you know anything about... Doesn't want to be in the sea. Cat behaviour. Like me account. Right. Oh, look at my cat surfing. Yeah, the cat doesn't want to fucking be there. No. If you know anything about...
Doesn't want to be in the sea.
Cat behaviour.
Like me now.
Yeah, well, we'll come on to that in a minute, actually.
A cat who's crouching close to the ground,
ears flat, tail down, looking terrified,
isn't enjoying your fucking surfing trip, mate.
No.
He's not supposed to be there.
So it's not cute, it's fucking cruel, is what it is.
Everybody going surfing, surfing with my cat. I'm back on board. If that's the soundtrack, I'm back on board. Yeah, all right, fine. there so it's not cute it's fucking cruel is what it is everybody going to fint something with
my cat
I'm back on board
if that's the
soundtrack I'm back
on board
speaking of you
you've presumably
recovered from your
near drowning
psychologically do
you feel better
about it or
no no when I think
about it I don't
like it
no because you
said that you said
the further it gets
away from it the
more
yeah it's better
yeah I can laugh
and joke about it
send you a video of
the big waves at the
weekend and then refuse to let me share it stop putting it on social media because Sarah it will kill me Yeah, it's better. Yeah, I can laugh and joke about it. I sent you a video of the big waves at the weekend.
Yeah, and then refused to let me share it.
Just not put it on social media.
Yeah.
Because Sarah, it will kill me.
Fair enough.
And have you heard from Abraham?
Not heard from Abraham.
I'm sure.
Is he very online or not really?
I don't know.
Well, the woman who, the American lady who said she was praying for me,
said that she's been taking pictures of Abraham all week
and sending it to her girlfriends because he's so hot.
Right.
How's that meant to help you exactly?
Well, he helped me in the only way he could.
Yeah, it's true actually.
In the only language he knew.
The shared language you had.
Shouting at me in the sea.
The language of life and death.
A lot of people on Twitter, on our Atlu Compete Show Twitter account, it kind life and death a lot of people on Twitter on our at Luke and Pete show Twitter account
it kind of resonated
with a lot of people
and we had a massive
week for downloads
yeah
so maybe you should
think about
putting yourself
in perilous positions
I never know
when you sort of
see shows that
have added on
a few listeners
every week
in the old
set up
you do sort of go
well they didn't
know we were going to talk about that so it's almost like it's whether they stick around in it
i think it's when i think it's if something resonates with people they maybe tell their
mates or something oh you reckon yeah i think i'll do that but i was also particularly pleased
with the the tweet we got from our friend jeff right who i i basically posted a tweet saying um
thanks very much for supporting us you know and um and Pete's fine and all the rest of it.
Essentially...
Well...
Well...
I guess kind of thinly veiled reference
to your near-death experience.
But very much talking about a near-death experience.
And Geoff replied,
with the number of times I've laughed out loud
in public listening to you both,
I've lost count.
Well, it's not what we're going for really
with Pete almost dying.
I mean, that was very much a true story. Yeah. Well, they're all true stories. No lies on this podcast. Well, it's not what we're going for really with Pete almost dying. I mean, that was very
much a true story.
Yeah.
Well, they're all
true stories.
No lies on this podcast.
No, exactly.
Absolutely not.
So you haven't heard
from Abraham?
I haven't heard from
Abraham, no.
He never writes.
I'd love to do a
special with him.
Yeah.
Would it be cathartic
for you?
No, it'd still be
upsetting.
Yeah, it'd still be
upsetting.
A catharsis can be
upsetting, can't it?
I guess so, yeah,
for a bit.
It's like anti-venom
there's a kind of point for it
if I just had anti-venom
with no venom inside me
I think my body
would try and
it wouldn't have a good time
no definitely not
and when we were talking
the other day about you being
it's like noise cancelling
headphones
when we were talking
the other day about
you
for some reason
we got into a whatsapp
conversation
you and I
about you not having
any hair on your body
yeah
and I said that you were like a dolphin smooth like a dolphin i realized that could
have been construed as like a dig but i didn't mean it as that because i'm a dolphin boy dolphin
would never drown would it oh i didn't know i didn't i didn't even clock that to be honest
that's sort of thoughts i have luke you're letting yourself down there i should be more
yeah you're getting old what do you second guess everything you sent? Oh, yeah. What kind of thing?
I thought about... I think about a lot of stuff.
When we were in America
and you were slagging off my trousers
that were very...
My penis was very, very visible.
Yeah, I mean, can I just say,
the way you're framing that
is making me sound like a horrific bully.
You are a horrific bully.
But those, come on.
They were tighter than I... I'd put on a bit of weight and I hadn't realised.
New York had not seen those trousers since Studio fucking 54.
Let's be absolutely clear.
They were very graphic.
You could basically see the outline of your cock.
Yeah, they were very graphic.
And I just mentioned that.
No, you, no, you, through a two-day period, you mentioned them every hour.
It was your favourite thing to talk about.
My tight trousers.
The favourite thing to talk about
was when you were wearing those tight trousers,
walking down a road in Manhattan,
next to a sex worker,
and essentially you looked,
both looked like Hugh Grant and Devine Brown.
It was so good.
That is the best thing you've ever said.
Yeah.
I laughed for ages.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was partly trousers, so you enjoyed it.
I enjoyed that.
Anyway, what were your second guesses?
No, no.
I'd hate to think you'd never worn them again.
That would be awful for me if you'd never worn them since.
I wore them for the rest of the time I was in America, I think.
But yeah.
No, I've not worn them ever since.
I mean, they are.
You must have known how tight they were.
I did when I put them on.
I was like, fucking hell.
When you bought them, did you try them on? Yeah, but I was a thinner man then. Oh, okay, right. I did when I put them on. I was like, fucking hell. When you bought them, did you try them on?
Yeah, but I was a thinner man then.
Oh, okay, right.
I've gone to seed, Luke.
Oh, no, I respect.
You don't understand.
I respect that you're raging against the dark.
I had to see all my business.
It was really horrific.
But I said, he was mocking me for wearing a suit
and very tight trousers.
Mocking is hot.
In very hot weather.
Yeah.
And it was a mistake.
It was a mistake.
But I wanted to dress nice for the meetings.
And I said, Luke, you have literally told me that on this show
that the only reason why you don't wear a suit jacket anymore
is because you got a bit more broad, right?
And you've not updated your suits.
Let's make it clear, because I've put on a lot of weight.
No, but you said it on this show.
And I said that.
And you went, oh, oh, he's rude, isn't he?
And I was like, no, you've been talking to me all day about my trousers.
And then I say one thing back.
But didn't you say it in the meeting?
No, I didn't say it in the meeting.
I said it outside the, what do you call that?
The Flatiron building.
Not that you remember.
You know, what time of day was it?
3.54 p.m.
But I thought about it for ages.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
No, but I get upset
about people thinking
that I'm awful.
I think, to be honest,
that ship has sailed now, hasn't it?
What do you mean? You've been awful.
Oh, you are awful.
I find
it particularly tough to take
that on the same day, you are
showing me videos of you screaming Papa Roach karaoke sessions in the middle of the day.
Yeah.
And then saying to me, it's not great that people think I'm awful.
Well, don't do it then.
Don't do the awful things.
There's nothing not awful about screaming Papa Roach karaoke in a small room.
Well, I just said we'd exhausted all of the standards and I thought, let's go off the reservation.
Okay. Let's have some paparazzi.
What are the standards for you?
I mean, it's just the usual ones, isn't it?
Erasure, a little respect, all those ones,
the ones that everybody likes.
And then you go, let's fucking shake this
up, grandad. Shake this tree.
Have you ever seen someone earnestly
try and do a little respect
by erasure?
And do it? I think A Little Respect
is quite good
for a karaoke song
because people
with quite high voices,
usually the females in the room
can sing the high bit
and the people
with deeper voices
can sing it
in a lower register.
It's perfect.
Yeah.
For me,
the karaoke thing
is you have to,
you have to do it as a bit of fun.
Right.
You can't take it seriously.
I don't think so.
Hmm.
We,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
I think people who do,
um,
raps as their only song is people who disappoint me.
Yeah.
Cause they lack the courage to commit to proper karaoke.
Exactly.
It's like,
it's like,
it's like,
it's like going into,
you know,
go on the dance floor,
agreeing to go on the dance floor
and then just only ironically
busting out a robot.
Like, fuck off.
Fucking get involved or don't.
Me and Sarah have been having
a pitched battle
about a karaoke choice
that she made
on our last trip to karaoke.
Was it a jewel?
You were made for me?
You were meant for me.
I know the song.
I'm a bit of a singer
but I know what it is.
I mean, Sarah very much can sing it.
She's a good singer,
but she sang it
and I made an offhand comment
that said that
I just think it brought the mood down a little bit.
Yeah, to be fair, I can see that.
Yeah, and it's been mentioned about,
you know, three times a week since.
Well, she was obviously proud of her performance.
It was a fantastic performance.
I'm just saying it's not a karaoke song.
It's not a karaoke song, though.
Did you say
that was a fantastic performance,
but
the energy's gone out the room.
You've sucked the energy
out of the room.
I do think there's a time
to be said about that.
Yeah.
I think you need to keep...
Let's dance, David Boy.
Classic.
Fine.
I'd love to see you do that.
I'm quite good at it.
I'd probably throw
my knickers at you.
I don't... I've got a general rule about boy bands. I'm not wearing any see you doing that. I'm quite good at it. I'd probably throw my knickers at you.
I've got a general rule about boy bands. I'm not wearing any, you can see.
My boy band rule is,
I'll happily investigate further
if I hear a boy band that got a pop song out.
The only thing I ask in return,
because I like pop music,
the only thing I ask in return is it's upbeat.
I don't want to be hearing a love song.
That's nice.
I don't want you sat on a stool.
No. I want you up. I want you up
and about. Otherwise I'm out of it.
I'm not doing it. You're using your
young legs. I want you using all of your young
legs. And so someone like you,
if you're doing karaoke in a small room,
I'm assuming there's four or five people there, I'm
presuming. Is there more people than that there?
It's about that. Maybe about six or seven.
And then if you're sat there while someone else is doing it
and say it's a partner of a friend and you don't know them that well,
where are you specifically, where are your eyes going?
What do you mean?
Because I think you'd find it awkward.
No, I think karaoke you have to maintain and create a level of drunkenness
that you don't normally reach, I would say.
Were you successful in that?
Ooh, yeah.
And is that why you went to the paint shop
with your hoods the next time?
I was so pleased with going to the paint shop
and they gave me trade discount
because I was dressed as a dad.
Dads get trade discount.
A bigger boy.
Bigger boy.
I look like a bigger boy.
Bigger boy recognises a bigger boy.
Bigger boy, exactly, yeah.
Speaking of which,
do you want to hear something funny about my house?
You'll like this.
So we're having decorators.
You were away for a bit because it was just inhospitable for a week.
I went last week. Yeah, I went away last week because of that.
And I was planning on doing that as a bit of content on Monday's show.
So, we can't do that now.
Right.
Okay.
I'll talk about my trip later.
Okay.
But they're decorating the house.
They're decorating four rooms in the house.
They're decorating spare room, bedroom, living room, hallway.
Yeah.
Which is basically the whole house. Which is the kitchen room and the, living room, hallway. Yeah. Which is basically
the whole house.
It's just the kitchen
room and the dining room
which are both small
so there's nowhere to go.
Anyway,
so in the kitchen
the Wi-Fi I have access to
said,
I'm going to give you
a bit of context here.
We used to have a fridge
that you could put magnets on.
Right.
So we went for a phase
where every time we went somewhere
we'd get a magnet.
You used to kindly get us one as well
if you went away on holiday
and you'd bring us back a magnet it was great
and then we moved
into a fitted fridge
which had no magnetic
thing so what
what it's completely
plastic on the front
like it didn't
no it's like it's
like a built-in one
do you know what
I mean
oh so the doors
right yeah
yeah
so your eyes
really lit up there
at the technological
innovation of a
plastic fridge
plastic fridge
that sounds good
wow
already googling
so and the wife I've access to said that you know this is great this is like a story of all the trips we've been on so we should of a plastic fridge. A plastic fridge. That sounds good. Wow. Already Googling.
And the wife I've access to said that, you know,
this is great.
This is like a story of all the trips we've been on,
so we should keep it.
She bought a big magnetic strip that's stuck on the wall with this quite aggressive adhesive, right?
That's not coming off.
This was a few years ago.
Yeah.
Anyway, the other day she said, I'll take that off,
because we want to use that wall space,
because the kitchen's small, we need to use that wall space,
and put them on the extractor above the oven.
They'll stick on there and look good.
That's a good idea.
So I did that.
Cracker.
I took the magnets off, put it on there.
When it came to pulling the magnetic strip off,
it was fucking impossible.
Yeah.
And I ended up pulling it off, and it was like, okay, this is going quite badly.
Yeah.
It's taken out cement out of the wall.
As I was pulling it off, the exceptionally talented decorator who's in the house came
into the kitchen to wash the brushes.
I just saw me pulling paint off the wall like I was the anti-decorator, like I was doing
some kind of statement.
Obviously, they also have quite poor English,decorator like I was doing some kind of statement obviously they also
have quite poor English
so they could only
see it as some kind
of like demonstration
of like
you problem
yeah
here's a lack of
respect for your trade
just pulled it off
ended up pulling
all the plaster off
oh no
and then he gave me
a look like
well I haven't been
paid to do that bit
so I'm not doing that
you're stuck with that now
you do now
you do now
exposed concrete look in your kitchen it's great so that was that was like a to do that bit. So I'm not doing that. You're stuck with that now. You do now. You do now.
Exposed concrete look in your kitchen.
It's great.
So that was
like a Larry David moment.
Nice.
And there was nothing
to stop me waiting
until they went home
to do it.
Yeah.
I could have just waited.
I didn't think.
And I heard the footsteps
and I thought,
oh God.
Fuck's sake.
So actually,
I was on the phone
to LC yesterday
saying,
LC,
when you come over
in the summer,
I've got a job for you.
And he loves it all.
So he was like, yeah, okay, great, I'll do that. Anyway, that's what I you come over in the summer I've got a job for you and he loves it all so he was like
yeah okay great
I'll do that
anyway
that's what I've been doing
I had such a fucking ordeal
with some rising damp
we spoke about it
on the show before
oh yeah
oh by the way
it's all done now
it's all fixed up
so Al
our listener friend Al
wants an update
on your rising damp issue
please
because he says
he thinks he has
a similar problem
yeah
we're in a
to drill these little
kind of like um rising damp dealing
with um sort of chemical sticks into the wall i never had to fight to fill they're good they're
good they worked and they dried out all the plaster and it doesn't look like we're gonna
have that problem for a little while anyway um and uh i had to put more mortar in between the
bricks because the last um person who had the house presumably just put fucking wood in it.
He just saw a hole, just got a bit of wood
like a little shiv and just shoved it in there.
And so I filled that in there
and then where the plaster
comes out I had to sort of get
I had to re-plaster it and I've never
plastered before. I've done an alright job.
And then
on top of that find
get some paint mixed that were exactly
the same paint
and fair play
at the Crown fucking paints people.
They managed to match
the paint almost perfectly.
You're not a far-run ball band though.
Pit out my pressures
but then it was all,
you know,
I sanded it down
and painted it
and then put the,
put the,
put the skirting board
back on the wall
and then I had to cork that
and then.
And then someone walked in
and said
what are you doing
in my house
and I was like
I've got the wrong
fucking house again
well it looks
absolutely spotless
I'm really pleased
with the performance
I'll send you one
did you do a
before photo
pre
yeah I did before
and I'll give you
an after
send those to
Big Rory
and we'll put them
up there
because we've
genuinely had
quite a lot of
listeners asking
about how it's
going
yeah but these
sticks you buy
I forget what
they are but they're basically sticks you buy, I forget what they are,
but they're basically sticks you put in the wall,
and they basically, if you do them in a line,
they basically, they're chemicals, just kind of like with a capillary action,
just kind of get in all of the holes in the mortar,
spreading out in a line.
And it's basically like a chemical damp-proofing course.
That's awesome.
It's great stuff.
There's things I can do these days.
I like it.
Maybe if
Brush O'Meals had that
and his heart
he wouldn't have
had the problems he had.
Anyway,
let's have a quick break.
When we come back
we're going to do
some battery brands
because it's a Thursday
of course.
I don't know if we'll
get to the emails
but we've got some good ones
so maybe we'll get to
the emails on Monday
but we'll do
whatever we can
the other side of this.
And we're back with the second half
of Thursday's edition of the Luke and Pete show,
sponsored by Dry Rod Damp Proofing Rods 10 Pack,
the next generation rising damp treatment
from the makers of Dry Zone.
So that annoys me,
because they have not paid for that.
They have not paid for that.
I've not even got freebies.
We're giving them money for sponsorship.
Terrible.
But it worked.
Well done them.
You know what
it's rare in life
that you buy something
that fucking works
isn't it
it's getting more rare
completely
it's getting more rare
I was thinking this the other day
I was thinking to myself
just go outside
wherever you live
in the UK
if you're in the UK
I can't speak to other countries
but in the UK
step outside
look around you
what works
everything's shit
where's all the money gone
where's all the fucking money going
I had a terrible money going I read
I had a terrible
combination where
I read a news
headline
that said that
Britain
is the 6th biggest
something
economically in the world
right
Willy
yeah 6th biggest
economic Willy
in the world
right
and walked outside
fucking
our road is closed
because of potholes
and fucking
Thames water
I'm sorry
you're running back with Thames water.
Amuses me terribly.
They're like the Death Star.
I just don't think it's normal.
It's not been normal in the 20 years I've lived in London
to walk through London and just see water spouting out of the ground
with a Thames water barrier around it saying,
we're working on this.
The only people who are investing in the infrastructure of the nation
is fucking
fibre broadband companies
who are just putting up
fucking telegraph poles
left, right and centre
whether people want them or not.
And they're probably
just smashing the water pipes
and they're doing it.
Is it Clarkson of me
to talk about Thames Water
all the time?
It's a bit Clarkson.
I don't know,
but it's funny
that Thames Water
is such a big water company
and they just seem to be, it's like they're like Water is such a big water company and they just
seem to be
it's like
they're like the
canoe man
of canoeing
and I talk about
the canoe man
being the best
canoeist
being the most
famous canoeist
in the world
but also the worst
canoeist in the world
because he
technically drowned
so like he
and also more famous
than you from
Hartlepool
yeah
you're only
just ever sneak
on the podium
because of
Geoff Stelling
canoe man
yeah
and then you're
third basically is when we got on the podium because of Jeff Stelling, Canoe Man. Yeah. And then you're third, basically.
It's when we got on the plane back from Miami
and David Cameron was on the plane.
I was like, well, you know,
Sarah's not getting in the newspaper with that.
No way.
If it goes down.
No, you probably, would you get a line
at the bottom of the story, probably?
I wouldn't get anything.
It'd be Absolute Radio DJ Sarah Champion.
Was also on board.
Was also on board.
Absolute Radio DJ Sarah Champion. Was also on board. Was also on board. Absolute Radio DJ Sarah Champion and partner
were also thought to be on board.
Thought to be?
That's what you get.
Anyway, carry on.
Cool.
You can't remember what you said.
Where were we?
Thames Water.
I just think they're the most famous water company
and they seem duty bound not to keep any of the water in the pipes,
which is bare
minimum.
Yeah.
It's like a child eating
a dinner.
Nothing's on the plate.
Nothing's in the mouth.
It's all on the floor.
Not in the taps.
And before we get on to
the batteries I just want
to say.
Where's your water
going?
I just want to say this.
We've lost an ungodly
amount.
It's gone back to the
earth.
If you privatise an
industry the whole point
of the privatisation is to engender competition among customers being able to choose who they want to privatise an industry, the whole point of the privatisation is to engender competition
among customers being able to choose who they want to buy the water from effectively in
this situation.
The competition is the thing that makes the efficiency better.
Yeah.
It doesn't, does it?
It just hasn't.
It just hasn't.
But if you privatise it and there's only one company doing it, which is basically what
Thames Water is, if you live in London, you can't get your water anywhere else. Yeah. That's only one company doing it, which is basically what Thames Water is.
If you live in London, you can't get your water anywhere else.
Yeah.
That's it.
Yeah.
You've essentially taken the only good thing about privatisation away.
Yeah.
Let's have some Trent water.
Do you know what I'd like to see?
I'd like to see the water people, the water workers...
The water boys.
...go on strike.
Follow the moon.
Just join the gang.
Get on strike.
What are you striking for?
Nothing's happening.
We want to be paid more. We want the water to stay in the pipes. Get on strike. What are you striking for? Nothing's happening. We want to be paid more.
We want the water to stay in the pipes.
Naughty water.
Pay them in water.
Pay them in bottles of water,
which I'm about to fucking walk down to the end of my street to get.
On four occasions I've been living in that fucking house.
Anyway, batteries.
Batteries, good.
Yeah, they're always trustworthy.
Unless you're in cold weather.
Hello, lads.
After visiting my mother,
she gave me a box of electronics
that I used to have in my old room.
Before bringing them to be recycled,
I checked the brands and found these gems.
Hope some of them make it into your prestigious list.
This is Richard Hamstra.
Hello, Richard Hamstrad.
Richard Hamstrad.
I just gave him an extra D there.
AXA Alkaline Power AAA.
So we're going to go for a whole list here.
I guess so.
Do you want to just pick out a few?
Because it's very greedy, isn't it, really?
AXA Alkaline Power.
We've got Gamma Alkaline 1.5 Volt.
We've got Craft AA's Energies.
Turbo.
Teddy Power AA's, which is a lot of fun.
Well, you've read them all now.
Blitz AAA.
Yeah, I've read them all.
But it looks like Rory's only gone through them
and basically checked whether they are new players.
And the vast proportion of them actually are new players.
Don't show people behind the curtain.
They think I'll do an important job searching for them.
Well, you usually do, but I think...
I'm doing them now.
I think the size of this particular job
was just way too large.
But it sounds very much like Kraft, Energy, Turbo,
Gamma, AXA, and Teddy Power and Blitz.
So I can confirm.
I can confirm.
AXA, Alkaline, Power are new players.
Right.
Gamma, Alkaline, 1.5 Volt are new players.
Okay.
Kraft AA are new players.
So he's three out of three so far.
Yeah.
Energies AA are not new players.
So that's a no.
He's three out of four.
Turbo AA, I'm just checking those now, are also new players. So that's a no. It's three out of four. Turbo AA,
I'm just checking those now,
are also new players.
So that's four out of five.
Teddy Power,
spelled T-E-D-I,
I believe.
Power.
I'm checking those right now.
This is real-time stuff.
This is action.
They are also new players.
So that's five out of six. And Blitz AAA are,
finally for now
not new players
so
let's have a game
on the teddy power
five out of seven
five out of seven
five out of seven
isn't bad
it's remarkable
it's remarkable stuff
I wonder when
all of these batteries
were in service
and I think your
Alex Turner impression
there was actually
fairly good
yeah
there's a band
apparently that
do
well done Richard
there's a band
I wish I knew I wish I knew what the band I do know you always do this you go what's a band apparently that do... Well done, Richard. There's a band... I wish I knew what the band...
I do know what the band is.
You always do this.
You go, what's that band?
And it always turns out to be the fucking Beatles or something.
Check out the band, the Raytons.
R-E-Y-T-O-N-S.
They're awful.
They're funny, the way that they're doing the Arctic Monkeys, though, isn't it?
It's very funny.
What's interesting...
So this is the band, for those who don't
know them or know
about it, and as far
as I'm aware...
I didn't know
anything about them,
I've seen a small
clip of them, which
is unfair of me to
judge all of their
oeuvre, because then
I had a look on
YouTube and I saw
some of their oeuvre
and I was like,
wow, this is
terrific.
So the music's not
very good, in my
view, but they've
done what they've
done, rising to the
top of the album
charts, I believe,
in the UK, without
any radio play or
label support.
They're basically doing what the Arctic Monkeys threatened
to do on a far lower
scale, while
essentially, I guess, doing a poor version of the Arctic
Monkeys, I suppose, is what you're alluding to, isn't it?
I think so, yeah. But it's weird because the support
they have got has come from some quite
big people on Twitter, like
James O'Brien, randomly, who I think
likes the idea of what they're
doing.
Right.
He's supporting them.
Okay.
He's got like a million Twitter followers or whatever.
And they're able to do the things that, all the things you'd look for when I worked in
music back in the day, the things that the A&R people would look for would be like, what
was interesting was that a lot of the bands, because that was around the time, Pete, when
bands were massive, weren't they?
It was like a lot of the bands because that was around the time peak when bands were massive weren't they it was like a big thing and what i think indie bands thought was important
was can we look good and can we do you know songs that people like but actually what was the most
important thing to our people in my experience was they would just go to that band's hometown
and say can they sell out the biggest venue in their hometown yes if you ask that's no they're
just they're just they're not interested no right not fucking not. And if you ask if that's no, they're just...
They're not interested.
No.
Right.
Not worth it.
It's no point.
What's the point?
And the raters have done that very, very well,
from what I can see.
But it's not really my cup of tea.
I mean, I'm fucking 42, for God's sake.
The only thing that could make them less cool
would be for me and you to start liking it.
And you know our friend Noah,
who sent us the battery, Daddy, by the way?
Yes.
He's sending us some Prime.
Oh, he really didn't have to do that.
I told him that.
I said to him, you don't have to do this, Noah, but he insisted upon it.
Noah.
So that's incoming.
That's inbound.
Noah and the Whale of Kindness.
They burned bright, didn't they?
Noah.
That song.
Five Years Time.
Yeah.
Took my girlfriend at the time to go see them at the Roundhouse.
Roundhouse?
Yeah.
We're in the Roundhouse?
which I think is probably
the best live venue
in London
I think it's very good
when I saw Phoenix
play there
they did that cool thing
with the big sheet
you know when bands
do the big sheet
and then they start
and it drops
and it's like
yes the big sheet is down
now the gig can commence
I think every gig
should have that
yeah
it's an event isn't it
it's an event
I think they should
have several sheets
they should introduce one person each time they're like the lead singer no the drum
it's like a three-ply like a big old toilet exactly so you it's like the the dance of the
seven veils or whatever like you'll get you'll get one sheet down one sheet down one sheet down
until the whole band are revealed the band after polyphonic spray it's gonna take a whole gig yeah
and they're wearing sheets yeah exactly um so the band have to stand in Polyphonic spray. It's going to take a whole gig. Yeah. And they're wearing sheets, obviously. Yeah, exactly. So the band have to stand
in depth.
Yes.
So the first sheet comes down
and there's one member
and they're doing their thing.
The problem is
you're always going to start
with the lead singer, aren't you?
Or maybe the lead guitarist.
It's kind of like...
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm surprised you went
to go see Phoenix.
Why?
I just...
I don't know.
I tried...
Jakutla Phoenix?
Pete, as ever, I'm now trying to think of a way of saying something
that doesn't make me sound like a massive snob or a bully.
Okay, all right.
Your music taste is generally quite poor.
It's just not very eclectic.
Every gig you go to, you're thinking, I wish this was...
I wish this was a take my Sunday.
Actually, I don't.
They're notably awful at their jobs.
What about...
So obviously the wife I have access to is a massive pop punk fan. And when we drove back from our trip last week, actually I don't they're notably awful at their jobs what about so obviously
the wife I have access to
is a massive pop punk fan
and when we drove back
from our trip
last week
she was on the DJ
reins
and we had
New Found Glory
yeah nice
we had Fall Out Boy
a bit after your time
maybe
yeah yeah yeah
we had
Dropkick
but they were
Dropkick Mavs
I mean like
I would say that
the first two
they were massive
in American America College Radio kind of vibes you know what I mean, I would say that the first two, they were massive in American college radio kind of vibes.
You know what I mean?
So like absolutely huge.
One thing that's interesting to me about that kind of music around that.
So I know we're going to cross a few years here, really.
So I'm not being that specific.
But I always think that whenever I hear American emo pop of that nature,
particularly maybe, is it particularly Newfound Glory?
Maybe not, but anyway,
they've all got their own little fucking things
because, of course, like,
Fall Out Boy are much more emo than, say, Newfound Glory
are a lot more pop punk
and Sum 41 are even poppier.
Dropkick Murphy's a kind of Irish Celtic punk.
Yeah, yeah, like old school.
But they all sound, in aesthetic and energy,
exactly the same to me as Hundred Reasons. Do you remember Hundred Reasons? Yeah, I remember school. But they all sound, in aesthetic and energy, exactly the same to me as Hundred Reasons.
Do you remember Hundred Reasons?
Yeah, I remember Hundred Reasons.
Who were around like 10 years before,
from like Farnham and Surrey.
Yeah, but they were aping the same,
they were aping Newfound Glory,
they were aping those kind of bands,
you know what I mean?
Yellow Card and things like that,
the bands that were out around that sort of time.
So they were a prestige.
Yellow Card weren't out that early, were they?
Yeah, Yellow Card were out for ages.
And I thought that Hundred Reasons
were basically mimicking a lot of the hardcore, you know, at the Yellowcard weren't out that early, were they? Yeah, Yellowcard were out for ages. And I thought the 100 Reasons were basically mimicking
a lot of the hardcore,
you know,
at the drive and stuff like that,
which was even earlier.
Yeah.
Anyway,
I think if you watch
the really good Instagram account
that I'm always sending you stuff from
is Catatonic Youths.
Yeah,
I love it.
Who just find the worst music around.
And they've,
pop punk people
have really kind of like,
everyone knows how to produce that music now and they know, pop punk people have really kind of like, everyone knows
how to produce
that music now
and they know
how to produce it
in such a mathematical
and precise way.
It's like the Japanese bands
of like the 90s
that could just
ape a sound
and do it beautifully
and effortlessly.
But yeah,
but there's something
a little bit lost there
in translation
in that it's too mechanical
and it's too methodical
and it's too forensic.
But these young kids in their basements
with their fucking massive amounts of LED arrays
and studio-level microphones and stuff like that,
they're filming themselves doing, like,
everyone's doing the same cover of the same thing.
They're doing the new Sam Smith song.
They're doing Running Up That Hill.
They're doing every fucking song that is popular on TV,
and they're doing covers of it.
And they're going, hey, guys, imagine if...
And they start it in exactly the same way.
Imagine if Kate Bush was emo.
Yeah, imagine if Kate Bush was emo.
Let's go.
And then they go, running up that hill, running up...
It's fucking bollocks.
It's terrible, but...
And I love that kind of music, and it's bollocks. But part of you does go, oh, his here, running up there, it's fucking bollocks. It's terrible. And I love that kind of music
and it's bollocks.
But part of you does go,
oh, his voice is actually quite good.
Oh, they're amazing.
They're always good singers
and the production is fantastic
but it's just turd.
It's always a bloke
who's grown out of emo
but refuses to move on as well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're so good at it
and so shit at it
at the same time.
To have those chops
and to turn in
such a fucking
methodical
forensic performance
really
really good quality
HD camera as well
anyway
on that note
Pete's grumpy now
and it's all of our fault
so let's get out of here
we will be back on
Monday
for more of this
I probably will run you down
a couple of the things
I've got up to
in the Lake District
Peter
try and stay awake if you can.
It'd be much appreciated.
And I'm sure we'll find
plenty of other stuff
to talk about as well.
In fact, actually,
as I mentioned the first half
of this episode,
we have got some really good
emails,
particularly pertaining
to near-death experiences
in the sea.
Yeah, and someone
with a weird microwave flex,
which is actually
quite interesting.
So stick around for that on Monday.
Have a great weekend.
At Luke and Pete Show on social media.
Hello at Luke and Pete Show on the email,
or hello at lukeandpeteshow.com,
I should say, on the email.
And we're around on social media individually as well.
You can find us should you so wish.
All right, guys.
Imagine if the Luke and Pete Show wasn't on anymore.
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