The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 199.67: Saturday night's alright

Episode Date: November 4, 2019

Just what are the best all time 90s Saturday night TV shows? Luke loves Big Break, Pete is a Gladiators fan, but there's loads more. Also: ever hear the one about Pete meeting Michael Barrymore? Now t...here's a story you don't want to miss...On today's show we also discuss Postman Pat, people who try and sell you things in pubs, and the latest debacle involving Pete and his PC processor. There's loads more besides, so don't sleep on it!hello@lukeandpeteshow.com for all your missives!***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 How you doing Luke? It's the Luke and Pete show and it's a Monday. You've had a great weekend. This is pre-recorded, we're not recording it on the day because we're in New York City. By the time you hear that, Luke's going to be on his way. I've got a really wet mouth. Oh, get your wet mouth. I wonder if there's anybody,
Starting point is 00:00:35 I think celebrities with wet mouths. We will be. I wonder if anybody's spotted. On the way to New York City, although Pete you might still already be there what um
Starting point is 00:00:48 if people were to imagine you on a transatlantic flight flying from London to to the US what are you doing on the flight
Starting point is 00:00:55 what's typical Donaldson behaviour I'm like Will Self I'm taking heroin on Air Force One or whatever didn't he say he took heroin
Starting point is 00:01:01 on a plane with Tony Blair did he yeah wow big talk just showing off really you will on a plane with Tony Blair? Did he? Wow. Big talk. Just showing off for it, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:01:06 You will have neither heroin or Tony Blair. I am probably playing Zelda on my Switch. Love that. And probably waiting for the next mail. I'm going to study
Starting point is 00:01:17 ahead of the trip Super Mario Odyssey to get right into it and then I'm going to start playing it for the trip. So I'll probably be playing Super Mario Odyssey right now as people listen to this. Cool going to start playing it for the trip so I'll probably be playing Super Mario Odyssey right now
Starting point is 00:01:26 as people listen to this cool I've got two Switches now because I'm a flipping idiot wow how come because they released a mini version which really works more
Starting point is 00:01:34 with my lifestyle slash pocket size so Switches are just too big for the pocket I think people are going to start saying we're out of touch we've been talking
Starting point is 00:01:40 about hotels recently we've been talking about Pret-a-Mange we've been talking about having two Switches when you don't need them well I'll sell one on I've just got a lot of computer equipment to get on eBay first We've been talking about hotels recently. We've been talking about Pret-a-Manger. We've been talking about having two switches when you don't need them. Well, I'll sell one on.
Starting point is 00:01:49 I've just got a lot of computer equipment to get on eBay first because I was in a big old battle with some processor manufacturer slash salesman online. They would not give me the money back when I returned it because I'd got the aforementioned thermal paste on it. What piece of kit was it? It was an i9 Intel processor. Is that big potatoes? That's pretty big potatoes, Luke.
Starting point is 00:02:11 If any computer builders are familiar, that's pretty big potatoes. Is it the biggest potato you can get? I put the big potato in the motherboard and realised that it was a duplicate item, so I put that back in the box and sent it back, and they said, we can't resell this. The seal's broken, and there's thermal paste on it.
Starting point is 00:02:28 I said, well, how would I know whether it worked or not? Sunshine. So they tried to charge me a, and indeed they did charge me, a 25% restocking fee. Go fuck yourself,
Starting point is 00:02:37 aria.co.uk. Yeah? You hear me? A-R-I-A.co.uk. It's a very interesting story. There's lots of process there. Yeah. Don't go to Aria. I mean, they were well. There's lots of process there. Yeah. Don't go to our...
Starting point is 00:02:45 I mean, they were well within the rights to do all of that. I just Googled wet mouths, celebrity wet mouths, and I've come up to the 13 sexiest celebrity mouths on the planet. Can you name any? I will name two sexy celebrity mouths. Okay. And what date is the article? They're all fucking women.
Starting point is 00:03:05 What date is the article? They're all fucking women. What date is the article? The date of the article was 2014. The 13 sexiest celebrity mouths. I'm just going to go
Starting point is 00:03:14 with two absolute crowd-pleasing guesses. Katy Perry. Nope, not on the list. Scarlett Johansson. On the list. Yes Johansson on the list yes
Starting point is 00:03:26 I got one that's not too bad brilliant yeah I mean I've just gone for I'm surprised you didn't go for the Jolie that was a pretty famous one oh yeah Jolie
Starting point is 00:03:33 to be honest I've not spent much time thinking about it and you've just sprung it on me really one of them is Georgia May Jagger Mick Jagger's daughter I mean come on
Starting point is 00:03:41 that's oh with the gap too well yeah and the lips it's Mick Jagger's daughter for crying out loud it's. Oh, with the gap tooth? Well, yeah, and the lips. It's Mick Jagger's daughter, for crying out loud. It's going to have lips, isn't it? I've got a gap tooth. She's doing it for us.
Starting point is 00:03:51 Doing the gap tooth lot. It was just me and Madonna for years. Yeah. Lana Del Rey. Yeah. I mean, why are we doing this, Pete? I don't know, mate. I just like Googling stuff.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. This wasn't the initial... Solange Knowles. Solange. Solange. She's one of the biggest recording artists in the world. Oh, fuck off. You work at a radio station.
Starting point is 00:04:13 Do you get to choose one song an hour? I get to choose one song a day, I think. One song a show. But it has to be a certain type of song. Yeah, of course. There's no point in me choosing... So you couldn't choose like Hammer Smashed Corpse by Cannibal Corpse?
Starting point is 00:04:25 Probably not. Hammer Smashed Face, sorry, by Cannibal Corpse. An unforgivable Cannibal Corpse era there. It's like you and your Wu-Tang crew. Yes. So what was the example
Starting point is 00:04:34 of a song you would be able to play off your own volition on the radio station? Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance. That's what you would choose? That's not what I would choose. I'd clearly choose
Starting point is 00:04:46 I'm Not Okay. Not okay. Who's that by again? Oh, My Chemical Romance. My Chemical Romance. They were massive for a bit, weren't they? They were massive
Starting point is 00:04:54 until they weren't. Gerard Way. Gerard Way. I read a really interesting article this week and I might be a bit behind the curve but I make an apology for that and the reason
Starting point is 00:05:06 it was interesting is because I'm of the age for it to be entirely relevant but it was a retrospective look and then a further
Starting point is 00:05:14 catch up 20 years on of some of the biggest gladiators from the TV show Gladiators okay physically biggest
Starting point is 00:05:21 no just the most popular one so this this this journalist caught up with wolf, jet, lightning, and cobra. Okay. And it gave me all the nostalgic feels, I'm telling you. It was amazing because back in the day, Saturday, you'd have your tea, you'd watch Gladiators.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Then when you got a little bit older, it would be the thing you'd watch before you went out with your mates to the pub. Saturday, you'd have your tea, you'd watch Gladiators. Then when you got a little bit older, it would be the thing you'd watch before you went out with your mates to the pub. Yeah, okay. I just kind of loved it. Because obviously I do that podcast on Mark Haynes, WrestleMe. I guess there were probably
Starting point is 00:05:58 very few wrestlers that would be so familiar to people. Wolf. Like Wolf probably was massive, wasn't he? Like a massive star in the UK,
Starting point is 00:06:08 certainly. In a very small catchment area, obviously, but yeah, incredible. Wolf said that, in the article,
Starting point is 00:06:13 he said that he wasn't designed to be a bad guy. Right. And he said that this is rubbish because everyone's really good
Starting point is 00:06:21 and like, there's nothing to it kind of thing. Yeah. Let me be a bad guy, a bad guy. And they were like, no. And he said, of thing. Yeah. Let me be a bad guy, a bad gladiator. And they were like, no.
Starting point is 00:06:26 And he said, let me do it for one episode and see how it goes. And they were like, okay. And obviously, he absolutely killed it. He said,
Starting point is 00:06:32 if you don't like it, I'll never do it again. And the whole thing went mad. His hair, well, because he looked different to all of the other gladiators because he was quite,
Starting point is 00:06:40 a little bit older, I'd say. I certainly looked older in the first. He was on the cover of the video game Barbarian and Barbarian 2 with Linda Lusardi. I remember Barbarian. Back. I certainly looked older in the first. He was on the cover of the video game Barbarian and Barbarian 2 with Linda Luce Hardy.
Starting point is 00:06:46 I remember Barbarian. Back in the day. Back in the day. But Barbarian was, because Wolf was now 67 years old. Jesus Christ. So he was a bit older. But he was one of the most famous, I reckon he was probably one of the most famous people
Starting point is 00:06:57 in the country at one point. But yeah, it's just quite interesting how like, there's something about it seemed a lot more innocent, didn't it? Do you think it seemed innocent? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I guess...
Starting point is 00:07:08 But these... Because nowadays, you could go into any gym and pull out five, six, seven men and women... That are ripped. ...who are absolutely ripped. Some of them will be carrying Pujol sticks. Back then, it was so sort of rare. Look at him on the cover of
Starting point is 00:07:26 Barbarian the video game Barbarian I had that game you had a special movie where you could chop the guy's head off yes
Starting point is 00:07:30 Linda Lusardi my god my god Linda Lusardi my god what are your memories of Saturday Night TV it was an amazing one it was just brilliant
Starting point is 00:07:39 back in the day I was saying to you the other day wasn't I we were on the train going somewhere I said to you if I could bring
Starting point is 00:07:42 any TV show back ever I'd bring back Big Break yes you would you went on a what can only be a five minute rant about how good answer you the other day wasn't I? We were on the train going somewhere and I said to you if I could bring any TV show back ever I'd bring back Big Break. Yes, you went on a what can only be called a five minute rant about how good
Starting point is 00:07:49 Big Break was. The format is just so good. It's such a good show. Did you used to get like proper world class snooker players
Starting point is 00:07:58 or snooker players who had gone off the boil a bit? No, no, you'd get a mixture. They'd have like Jimmy White on there and stuff.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Right, okay. But they would have to be they would probably it wouldn't be about ability because obviously all those snooker players would be good yeah
Starting point is 00:08:08 for that standard for what they needed to do it's more about whether they would be kind of fun fun yeah yeah it was just an amazing show
Starting point is 00:08:15 I love snooker anyway so that's probably got to do with it but to me it feels like when now you do have big shows like you'd have Strictly Come Dancing you'd have Britain's Got Talent X F street come dancing you have um britain's
Starting point is 00:08:26 got talent x factor all those comments i'm a celebrity etc but they're different aren't they because they're more about i mean for example i'm a celebrity that's i'm pretty sure that's on like every day and it's all it's as much about the the online sort of presence the hashtag and then big brother of course broke the mold where they had that thing where you could watch it 24 hours a day but back when i'm just talking about like straight Saturday night TV classics, like bangers, straight bangers. So like Noel's House Party, Big Break, Gladiators. These were like proper shows.
Starting point is 00:08:57 I've just got a lot of affection for those kind of shows. Hugely. I mean, I don't remember Saturday night television that much, but I do remember Fresh Prince, then Crystal Maze. They weren't Saturday though. I'm just saying that I don't remember
Starting point is 00:09:12 Saturday night. Right. Probably because I'm not drinking and partying, but the Friday night was always go down quicksave, get a booty bag,
Starting point is 00:09:19 get some discos, get some cloudy lemonade. Booty bag. Get yourself home, get yourself home, watch a bit of Crystal Maze, watch a bit of, maybe a bit of Red Dwarf,
Starting point is 00:09:28 was Red Dwarf be Friday? Well, actually, after Fresh Prince. Red Dwarf was colour 8pm midweek. After Fresh Prince and after the Crystal Maze,
Starting point is 00:09:37 you would be getting into 8 o'clock, 9 o'clock Friends and Frasier and stuff like that. Perfect even. Perfect. For me, I'm talking Generation Game. I'm talking Baywatch. I, I'm talking Cheers. I'm talking Generation Game.
Starting point is 00:09:46 I'm talking Baywatch. I'm talking Gladiators. I'm talking Blind Date. All that shit left me cold, to be honest. Noel's House Party? Yeah, I used to watch a bit of that, yeah. You bet.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Yeah, no, not really. None of those kind of hit me. I can't remember what I would have been doing at that point. Don't forget your toothbrush. That's Friday night, isn't it? Oh, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:10:03 WFH was late, late Saturday, wasn't it? On Channel 4, no, no. WFH is late, late Saturday, wasn't it, on Channel 4. Do you remember the all-time classic, the perennially underrated and actually
Starting point is 00:10:12 just straight bad Man O' Man with Chris Tarrant? Do you remember Chris Tarrant's Man O' Man? Yeah, they used to get all of the
Starting point is 00:10:21 sex offenders in the town and they used to congregate on a shopping centre and find a man for a woman, didn't they? No. That wasn't it. Well, it was, wasn't it?
Starting point is 00:10:29 No, no. This was... Was Davina McCall involved? No, no. It was Chris Tarrant. Or maybe Davina. I can't remember. But ten guys would stand there.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Wasn't it in a shopping centre? No, it was in a studio. This purpose-built studio. Right. And it had a big swimming pool at the top with this kind of like scene. They get pushed in. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:44 Get in the pool and there would be women in the crowd exclusively sounds more Barrymore style to be honest yeah for goodness sake
Starting point is 00:10:55 and they would all vote and the one with the least amount of votes got pushed in the pool and the last guy won man oh man I think he got a little trophy or something
Starting point is 00:11:00 Saturday Night TV was the one I'm telling you it was so good but anyway that article about the Gladiators is quite interesting because he meets Jet and one of them
Starting point is 00:11:08 Rhino is apparently quite a big producer in Hollywood now that's interesting yeah would you have Jim Davidson
Starting point is 00:11:15 back on our screens doing a big break the thing is Pete and I'm not going to win any favours by saying this particularly not from the guy who thinks I'm a gammon anyway
Starting point is 00:11:22 it's almost like the Richard Keyes thing. Whether you like it or not, and for the record, I don't like it, Davidson was a very good guy on telly. He worked.
Starting point is 00:11:32 He was very good on TV. He worked. Barrymore's brilliant on TV. If you watch clips of Barrymore now, my God, he's brilliant. Barrymore should never have lost his career, in my opinion.
Starting point is 00:11:40 Mark, did you see my story got fucking put in Pop Bitch? Tell people who are listening. Barrymore, kiss me on the lips and asked me and a friend You need to give more context on that mate, that's just people putting their cars
Starting point is 00:11:55 over now. The day that Barry Moore was acquitted of Stuart Lubbock's death in his on-swing pool murder a day where he should have been probably keeping his head down, he went to the Century Club in London and I was working for in his own swing pool at murder a day where he should have been probably keeping his head down he went to the Century Club in London
Starting point is 00:12:07 and I was working for a radio station and we'd gone out for a few drinks and it was kind of like my first taste of what I would call a media
Starting point is 00:12:14 goings out media night out what year was it then? God I don't know whatever I mean you could probably just google whenever Stuart Lubbock was
Starting point is 00:12:21 he was found not guilty yeah he comes in and he's massive and he's wearing a baseball cap. And I think our producer, Paul, still has that baseball cap. If you're listening, you know where to get it. Paul, the producer from XFM. Yeah, and he tried to shake my hand. And I was trying, because he wouldn't stop holding my hand, basically.
Starting point is 00:12:43 I tried to teach him a credit card, kind of, uh, kind of like a brushing against kind of hand. I've learned this new, uh, this new handshake, um, fella,
Starting point is 00:12:50 Michael, Michael, and, uh, and did the credit card and he sort of like fell over, knocked our newsreader over and sort of landed kind of in front of me on his knees. And he gave me a big old sloppy kiss. And then later on,
Starting point is 00:13:04 he, um, asked if we wanted to go to his house and the worst thing I'm going to do is wank you off it's not the worst thing you're going to do yeah
Starting point is 00:13:12 I'm sure I'm sure I'll see worse things people are just going to be confused by this yeah but he said and they got picked up by Pop Bitch
Starting point is 00:13:19 he got put in in a gossip email I mean Mark Haynes was there from Wrestle Me so it was probably something to do with him to be honest but he got put in a... I mean, it was... In a gossip email. I mean, Mark Haynes was there from Wrestling Me, so it was probably something to do with him, to be honest, but... It got put in there. It got just put in there like just a story, just a...
Starting point is 00:13:30 And I was reading it. I was like, hang on. Anyway, my only experience with Michael Barrymore was Strike It Lucky. True. It's a great show, and he was very good on that as well. He was very good. And Ant and Dec are very good on something like TV as well. Let's just review every person we know.
Starting point is 00:13:43 I wish I could just watch all those shows again and review them. Jim Davidson's Twitter account has been taken down after he tweeted a number of messages in support of Minister Mark Field, who pushed a protester at a charity dinner. Oh, yeah, I remember that. Seems weird that... He grabbed a woman by the throat. I think so, yes.
Starting point is 00:13:58 Very, very problematic. Jim Davidson's a terrible guy. Just saying he's good on telly. I just wanted to see what his tweets were. I imagine location Great Britain because the
Starting point is 00:14:08 problem is to understand that I think you've really got to have a limited amount just a tiny amount of
Starting point is 00:14:13 experience on TV and realise how hard it is and for them to be so good at it anyway he's a terrible guy I'm pleased he's
Starting point is 00:14:21 not on TV anymore for obvious reasons but there's no place for him in 2019 just saying he was talented as a TV presenter speaking of memories do you reckon I would get away with Terrible guy. I'm pleased he's not on TV anymore for obvious reasons, but there's no place for him in 2019. Just saying he was talented as a TV presenter. Speaking of memories, do you reckon I would get away with
Starting point is 00:14:29 wearing what can only be described as a gold ingot pendant? I don't know what it is. Back in the day, my dad had one. Let's have a look. And I always thought they looked kind of cool. Oh yeah, they look great. Big, sort of chunky, kind of...
Starting point is 00:14:42 I think Charlie's got one. Has he? I think so, yeah. Are the kids doing it? I think Charlie's got one has he? I think so yeah are the kids doing it? I think Charlie's got one yes I'm going to get a silver ingot
Starting point is 00:14:49 pendant me and my dad have St Christopher necklaces do you know those? those are just a cross or something no it's like a little pendant
Starting point is 00:14:56 but it's got St Christopher carrying the child across the river right it's a cool little pendant because I've never worn I've still got it I've never worn any jewellery
Starting point is 00:15:03 before in my life apart from a watch but I just Because I've never worn any... I've still got it, I just don't wear it. I've never worn any jewellery before in my life, apart from a watch. But I just think I should get into it a bit. But while you're contemplating that, Pete, let's have a little break. You can buy yourself a gold ingot pendant. A pengant? A pendant.
Starting point is 00:15:15 And then we'll read some emails. She's going to report me for saying bugger, you know. Oh, just wait till I see your mother. You're in real trouble. Oh, I say, what if she's going to go and see you? Then tell her this. Bugger, sheep, fuck, sheep. Fucking sphinct trouble. Oh, I say, what if you've got to go and see her? Then tell her this. Bookish, ain't function. Fucking sphincter.
Starting point is 00:15:29 I forgot. He never gets old. He kind of really throws himself into that one, doesn't he? Hello at LukeandPete.com is the email address, of course. I know I said that very fast. So hello at LukeandPeteShow.com. Ewan from Aberdeen
Starting point is 00:15:41 has emailed in about Postman Pat. Okay. We talked about Postman Pat a week or two ago, and this is a follow-up. And his black and white cat. Yeah, exactly. He says, Due to the fact that until recently I regularly had to endure Postman Pat
Starting point is 00:15:53 at 5.30 in the morning with an annoyingly awake toddler on my lap, I can confirm that Postman Pat is still lovingly crafted using stop motion. And despite being spruced up slightly, the theme song is still essentially the same tune and lyrics that we enjoyed as children in the 80s. What Luke may have been confused by is the outro tune, which is now special delivery service, an annoyingly catchy ditty that I catch myself humming.
Starting point is 00:16:17 I'm just going to load it up. That I catch myself humming more often than I'd like to admit. It sounds a bit like this. The other major change is that Pat no longer works for Royal Mail after they mercilessly sacked him in 2000 because they decided he no longer fitted with their corporate image. To make ends meet, he now works for the inexplicably well-resourced Special Delivery Service. Sorry, this is Phyllis Navadad, isn't it, really?
Starting point is 00:16:53 A little bit, yeah. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas! Let's get rid of that. He goes on to say, Ewan, in Aberdeen, he says, All the evidence suggests it's a zero hours contract. Pat will be sitting eating with his family when a phone call from his boss, who's called Ben, a 20-something pen pusher who never leaves his fucking desk. What a tit.
Starting point is 00:17:16 Means he has to drop everything and head straight to the depot. The only consolation for Pat is that Special Delivery Service, or SDS as they're known, kit him out with an orgy of transport options, including a 4x4 Jeep, a motorbike with sidecar for Jess, a helicopter, and even a plane that can take off vertically. That is badass.
Starting point is 00:17:33 The low point for the franchise came a few years back when they made a feature-length film in which Pat enters the Greendale talent show and is revealed that he has a fantastic singing voice, which was provided by none other than Ronan Keating. That's probably more than you wanted
Starting point is 00:17:46 to know about Postman Pat given it's a three minute tangent during today's show but sadly I know more about Children's Chosen than any kind of art form intended for adults these days.
Starting point is 00:17:54 Keep up the good work and speak to you soon. All the best Ewan from Aberdeen. Do you know what I'd really like to see? Go on. Motorway
Starting point is 00:18:03 or interstate and a man on a motorbike or interstate and a man on a motorbike maybe a Harley with a sidecar with a dog with goggles yeah
Starting point is 00:18:11 doesn't happen much does it you just never see it there was two two dogs on the tube on the way in this morning they didn't know each other they're both little
Starting point is 00:18:18 yappy dogs and they were going crazy at each other on the tube it was chaos love it one actually eventually had to move down the other end
Starting point is 00:18:24 of the carriage cool off one of the carriage. Cool off. But one of the dogs, it was like a little terrier. It was so excited while they were a dog. It kept trying to get away from its mother. She couldn't hold on to him properly. He kept squirming away.
Starting point is 00:18:35 It was exciting. Love it. It was exciting. I love when dogs go batshit. You got an email there? There was a lovely corgi on the way home from Newcastle. That was an arduous journey. Five hours. I know.
Starting point is 00:18:44 Five hours on the train. Ours was bad, mate. I'll tell you about our one. Our one got caught. Wasn't there a man called, who looked like George Bush? Yeah. He was shouting.
Starting point is 00:18:52 Why was he shouting? Because it was overcrowded and he kept stopping. And the guard came over the tannoy and said that, that we're going for a part of the track that's not electric. So we need to go on the diesel engines.
Starting point is 00:19:05 Yeah. But the previous driver, up until Doncaster or whatever... Yeah, filled the fucking... And warmed them up. Right. So we had to sit there for 20 minutes waiting. And then someone pulled the emergency alarm.
Starting point is 00:19:17 That's... Annoying. That's bad behaviour. Anyway. Yeah, carry on. What email you got there, mate? Joseph. Hey, Joseph.
Starting point is 00:19:23 All right, lads. Long time listener. First time email after hearing Luke recount his anecdote of buying cheese and carb batteries from a bloke in a pub in episode
Starting point is 00:19:29 199.63 I felt it was my duty to regale you of my experiences with Cleethorpes' greatest pubtrepreneur yeah I didn't buy the carb battery
Starting point is 00:19:37 or the cheese I just had it I had it offered to me I didn't purchase it a lot of very blocky items a few months ago I was visiting my dad for the weekend
Starting point is 00:19:44 in Cleethorpes nice part of the world, and ever since I turned 18 five years ago, we would always pop into his local to numb our senses prior to getting home to be mobbed by my younger siblings. This time, however, when nipping into Sainsbury's before the pub, we bumped into a new friend of my dad's. With jeans hanging off his arse
Starting point is 00:19:57 and some very well-used bags for life in each hand, I was wary of how my dad had come to know this gentleman. They exchanged pleasantries and upon leaving, my dad shouted, I'm running low on coffee and cheese, by the way. You know where I'll be. I'll see what I can do, comes the reply. Just stealing to order.
Starting point is 00:20:13 I'm suspicious, and five minutes later, before we'd had our first sip, the man returns with, inexplicably, an open box of at least 75 dairy milk chocolate bars, the sort a newsagent would display on the counter. The man offers my dad the lot for a tenner, but perplexed, my dad offers a fiver to get him out of the pub. He duly obliges, and after my dad,
Starting point is 00:20:32 rather tongue-in-cheek, reminds him of his previous order. The coffee in the cheese. As we're tucking in to presumably stolen goods, the man returns and whispers to my dad's friend that he's got a bag of KFC chicken fillets. Any sane person at this point would assume that this now obvious, very accomplished shoplifter
Starting point is 00:20:48 had pilfered the Sainsbury's fridges for some KFC branded chicken fillets. Do those even exist? I don't think so, Joseph. Wow. Yeah, well, you'd be wrong. As it turns out, he spotted the KFC staff across the road on their fag break,
Starting point is 00:20:59 sneaked around the back of the shop and directly emptied the freezers full of loose raw chicken breast into his bag for life. This man is a thief. him to shout, ah, what's that sticking into my hand? This isn't all breast, there's a bone in the hand. All the while, his hand's dripping in chicken juice. The man accepts
Starting point is 00:21:29 a greasy fiver for the presumably £20 worth of chicken and leaves never be seen again. Despite probably being accessories to several crimes by the end of the afternoon,
Starting point is 00:21:36 we found the whole thing hilarious and I won't be surprised if my brothers and sisters never want to see a bar of dairy milk again. Also, I'm vegan now. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:21:45 And that was from Joe who saw us in Newcastle on Friday. I'll tell you what. Injoyable. Fiver for that kind of... Greasy stolen chicken. Yeah. Would you put them straight in the freezer? Would you enjoy them later on?
Starting point is 00:21:56 At the risk of incurring the wrath of people from that part of the world, it's very much how I imagined Gleethorpes to be. How rude. How very rude. I've never been there. Well, why are you saying that then? No, I shouldn't be saying world. It's very much how I imagined Gleethorpe's to be. How rude. How very rude. I've never been there. Well, why are you saying that then? No, I shouldn't be saying that.
Starting point is 00:22:08 It's mean rude. Thank you for that. It's very much similar vibe to how the guy with the cheese and the deli, the deli block of cheese and the car battery. Christian's also been in touch saying,
Starting point is 00:22:16 this is a bit, this is a bit of an interesting one, Pete, because last week you were talking about why American eggs are white. Yeah. And the UK ones are brown. And you sort of ascertained that you thought it was because they were cleaned better. Christian just emailed in saying white eggs are from white feather chickens, brown eggs are from brown feather chickens.
Starting point is 00:22:37 That's all it is. Yeah, but the very specifically bleached eggs in America are because they were cleaned within an inch of their lives. Right. But I can't see if that's true. I can't believe that's true anyway because I've never once had a white egg in the UK. And there must be loads of white chickens in the UK.
Starting point is 00:22:54 Yeah. No, I think he might be wrong. You reckon? Well, don't ask Joe because he's a vegan. He won't know. Why are eggs white in the US? There we go.
Starting point is 00:23:06 Have a little Google, mate. Protein spots are mainly found on brown eggs because they're from a blood vessel rupture. Ew, gross. Oh, dear. Gross. Not what you asked, though, is it? Not what I asked, though.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Oh, by the way, I'm going to Secret Cinema Stranger Things in December. Are you going to dress like little boy? Oh, is this going to enchant me? Are you going to dress like little boy is this going to enchant me are you going to dress as the policeman no you get given a thing you've got to dress up as
Starting point is 00:23:31 oh right okay so then don't have so many of one more than that I've got to dress as that little munchkin boy I've got to dress up
Starting point is 00:23:38 as the hot shot editor of the local newspaper what's Mimi got I can't remember what she got I presume Mimi's going you're not going by yourself yeah she is so we're going on the 22nd of December but it's not like other secret cinemas they're not showing newspaper. What's Mimi got? I can't remember what she got. I presume Mimi's going. You're not going by yourself.
Starting point is 00:23:45 Yeah she is. So we're going on the 22nd of December but it's not like other secret cinemas. They're not showing a movie.
Starting point is 00:23:51 It's like a whole theme park type thing. They're not showing anything at the end of it though. I don't know but
Starting point is 00:23:56 it's all set up like Starcourt Mall apparently. Right. Have you been to one? No but you made me yawn there.
Starting point is 00:24:02 Sorry. My mate's done a couple of those ones. I think the Back to the my mates done a couple of those ones I think the Back to the Future one and a couple of those where you get assigned a little
Starting point is 00:24:08 little guy little mystery and somebody pops into your life and goes hey I need some help with this and you total off and have a bit of an adventure with them
Starting point is 00:24:16 very exciting yeah it's supposed to be very good but the only there's no way to know where it's going to be you've just got to go to this particular spot and wait right
Starting point is 00:24:23 and they're going to pick you up and take you there that would annoy me that involves minibuses don't like it don't like it going to be. You've just got to go to this particular spot and wait. Right. And they're going to pick you up and take you there. That would annoy me. That involves minibuses. Don't like it. I may never be seen again. Mother.
Starting point is 00:24:33 Stranger things. I've happened. I've noticed some strange things. Does someone go missing and then they just go on an adventure? It's good, mate. Instead of calling the authorities
Starting point is 00:24:41 just go on an adventure. When all is said and done all the people who hype it and all the people who say don't be bothered because it's been hyped, it's just good. It's just well done telly. Give it a bash. Give it a bash.
Starting point is 00:24:51 At the bangers of mash. Alright, let's get out of here, Peter. That's about enough of this, I think. We'll try and do an episode later this week where we're in the US. We'll take the mics and see if we can get it to happen. It should be lots of fun. If you don't hear from us, then we have fucked it up. I'm Luke, that's Pete.
Starting point is 00:25:07 Hello at lukeandpetech.com to get in touch with any of the stuff you've heard about today or anything you want us to discuss or tell us about. And we'll see you again soon. Okay then, bye. I'll buy a chicken. This was a Stakhanov production.
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