The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 31: This is your future, so tether your payload

Episode Date: January 1, 2018

Holy Macaroni! We're in the future!It's 2018 and, as you can probably imagine, this fact dominates proceedings in episode 31. We discuss futuristic things that may or may not happen, Pete interprets his own dreams in quite a simple (and predictable) way, there's a heartfelt tribute to one of the world's great metallic birds and we touch on Paul Newman and Steve McQueen.Before we chip off for another week there's also a truly astonishing Mencarta, so make sure you stick around for that, too.Start 2018 off right and leave us a nice review on the Podcasts app or wherever you get your pods, and send us futuristic ideas here: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's 2018 baby! We should have a much more futuristic theme tune. Why? Because we're in the future? Yeah. Whoa, careful of that flying car mate. I was about to talk to you about flying cars in a minute. Oh. What have I done now?

You know what you've done. Luke and Pete 2018. We literally never thought we'd be here doing this show in 2018. This was supposed to be a summer adventure. We've survived another millennium bug threat. Watch out, planes. Sort of. Did you see the 747 got retired before Christmas in America?

That took its last flight to Atlanta I think it was and it was the weekend that Olapal went off I think alright so there we go what a dedicated bird rest in peace

lady of the sky mate lady of the sky lady of the sky first man in 68 it's weird isn't it that we fly around it's gone plain almost instantly

but it's weird that we fly around in bits of junk that were built in the 60s and 70s she's an absolute workhorse to 747 wasn't she loop de loop instantly but uh it's weird that we fly around in things in in bits of junk that were built in like the 60s and 70s she's an absolute workhorse to 747 wasn't she loop de loop do a loop de loop mate on the last approach she's got loop de loop yeah they should have done the last one you listeners can't see this but we're saluting her we are right now do you it's funny when you

see those videos on youtube of jumbo jets and stuff and the and the capability they've actually got how how um much the wings can actually bend without snapping. Yeah, and they can do loops and barrel rolls. Yeah, they do all sorts of things. We want to get the barrel rolls. I mean, slowly. Yeah, slowly, yeah. I once saw, I think it was a 747

that crashed, I think, in Russia somewhere because of badly tethered cargo. So it tried to take off. The cargo wasn't tethered properly. So it tried to take off. The cargo wasn't tethered properly. There was never really an investigation into why it wasn't tethered properly and whether they might be just far. Well, it went to the back of the plane

and it couldn't attain any height and it just kind of went down like a big metal sausage and exploded everywhere. Because in Russia, everyone's got a dash cam because of insurance purposes. You get to see a lot of wacky shit. Lesson one for 2018 from Luke and Pete. Tie your cargo down, people.

Tether your payload. Tether your payload. Sport. How have you been, Luke? You all right? Good. Pete, I'm very well and I hope you are too. I hope you've had a lovely Christmas

and all that kind of stuff. And I haven't seen you for a wee while, actually, but I presume you had a good one. I feel tired. Yeah, I bet. What I wanted to ask you was, because I think you'd be quite good on this, what sort of things did you think the world would have

by sort of 2018 when you were a kid? Because, I mean, I remember sort of episodes of Tomorrow's World, where if you're not a resident of the UK, you may not have seen it, but it was sort of this BBC weekly thing, which would talk about scientific development and discovery and talk about things, or there was at least a section in it where they would talk about things we're likely to have in the future. And an example would be, they said by the year 2000,

that we'd just be taking one pill in the morning. And that would be all our dietary and nutritional requirements for the day. Well, they're kind of trying to do that, aren't they? Huel. Yeah, Huel or Soylent, I think, one of the other products. I've seen one called Huel. Where you just eat powder in water. And apparently, a couple of people have tried living off it for a couple of months.

It makes you fart a lot. I bet. It's not good for a pair of bon viv tried sort of living off it for a couple of months. It makes you fart a lot. I bet. It's not good for a pair of bon vivants like us though is it Pete? Put it in Pret-a-Manger

and I'll buy it I reckon. How are you and I get celebrated raconteurs like you and I going to swing the lantern and hold court over a

powdered drink. A powdered green horrible drink. Disgusting. It looks like eating mud. Because I also saw that in 1981, Tamarai's World did a feature on the future of robot snooker players.

That's a really 80s story. It's not just really 80s. It's really 80s and really British. Oh, yeah. We've made a robot. Snooker was absolutely huge in the 80s. But I mean, to be honest, around this time, people are talking about sex robots a lot,

which I think probably people... Some of us are. Some of us are. Everyone, I don't know what it is, but people talk to me a lot about sex robot documentaries. I don't think I've ever seen a single one. No.

There's some very funny ones on Netflix, apparently. You've made a few. Made a few. I'm in most of them. I mean, I've seen the rushes, to be honest. I've never watched my own work. I don't need to. The end of the article

about this robot snooker player on Tomorrow's world in 1981 the end i'll read the end sentence of the newspaper article to you but things didn't go according to plan legendary snooker player ted lowe i'm sorry legendary snooker commentator ted lowe introduced sid as the world snooker champion of the year 2000 this is sid the robot right but in real life that ended up being welshman mark williams i mean what i would say is that i reckon um we probably do have the technology uh for that but with technology becomes responsibility and anyone who can build something that can um you know use the use the natural world and physics and stuff like that probably has a lot better um applications to deal. And snooker's not as cool anymore. Speaking of that...

Darts, maybe. Well, darts is where it's at at the moment. Darts would be a good show. Yeah, we've just about finished the World Darts Championship at the moment. That's crazy, that. I love watching it, but no one who's there is actually watching it.

It's weird. It's the same as cricket. I went to one cricket match... One cricket bat? One cricket match. I went to one shop that sold cricket apparel. No, I went to one cricket match in One cricket match. One cricket match. I went to one shop that sold cricket apparel. No, I went to one cricket match

in Sri Lanka, England, and I'd never been to a cricket match before, and it was just people getting drunk and, like, really unfunny people dressed in costumes getting pissed out of their minds and, like, sort of doing that thing

with the cups where you put all the cups in the other cups and see how many cups you can get and everyone goes, Oi! Oh, that's a big cricket thing, isn't it? Yeah, but no the cups in the other cups and see how many cups you can get. And everyone goes, hey! Oh, that's a big cricket thing, isn't it? Yeah, but no one's watching the cricket. And I was really surprised.

I sort of saw it as being, you know, people actually being into cricket. But nobody seemed to be. Just people getting drunk and showing off. That young lad just running around going, ah, look at me. I'm dressed as fucking Pac-Man and I'm getting chased by ghosts. Oh, piss off. Never catch you dressing up and showing off. Definitely not.

No. Definitely not. That's the 2017 dancing. I was called so I bought a jumper and it said game of ball, no, game of

throws. Yeah, game of throws. Yeah. And it was cricket. It was a cricket riff. Are we going to

appeal. 25 quid that cost me. I'm so cold. Are we going to appeal to our American audience by talking about cricket?

It's like Ben Spalbert on the floor. Well, when I worked at a sports shop, I told you about it before. I don't know if I mentioned this fact, that we were told that we weren't allowed to sell,

I'm from quite a rough town, we weren't allowed to sell a baseball bat without selling a baseball as well. Right, okay, yeah. And it's like, okay, I understand the principle behind that, but if you're so beset on hitting someone with a baseball bat, you're probably going to spend the extra £3.99 for the ball. A lot of them come packaged up with a ball on top.

That's true, actually, yeah. I used to have a Louisville Slugger when I was a kid, and I decorated it with Ninja Turtle stickers slash transfers. Favourite Ninja Turtle. You were talking about Ninja Turtles on the continent just before Christmas. People getting Ninja Turtles wrong upsets me a little bit. Oh yeah, me too. The Michelangelo orange.

That's ridiculous. Michelangelo was my favourite. He was orange. Raphael was red. Donatello was purple. And Leonardo was blue. Actually, Raphael had a different colour in the original comics, I think. Did he?

Yeah, because he was kind of like the leader, the moody leader. the original comics, I think. Did he? Yeah, because he was kind of like the leader, the moody leader. But in the actual... Leonardo, I think, was the leader in the cartoons, wasn't he? As I understand it, Leonardo was the leader in the cartoons

and Raphael was the leader in the movie, no? Yes. The original movie. Yeah, yeah. I used to love that movie. Same. I remember having that on a right hooky VHS filmed by a Chinese dude in the back of a Chinese cinema

and you could sort of hear people speaking in Mandarin. That's class. Fantastic. I love that. That's nostalgia for me. I used to love that character Casey Jones, the hockey mask guy. Yeah, he was pretty badass. To the point of where I used to walk around my neighbourhood with my pals shouting, tough rocks pal! Which is

his catchphrase. There was something quite subversive about that whole kind of, I mean, obviously they went on to be, you know, massive and all sort of cleaned up for the television stuff,

but there's something very subversive and exciting about those characters back in the day. Definitely, and they got to have their name changed

to Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, didn't they? Yeah, in the 80s, ninjas were a real problem. People got with nunchucks and stuff. That's weird.

Nunchucks are so badass. I remember making, for my little Michelangelo figure, making little nunchucks out stuff. That's weird. Nunchucks are so badass. I remember making, for my little Michelangelo figure, making little nunchucks out of a bath chain and two bits of twig from the back garden. It's not a deadly weapon, that, is it? Especially not being wielded by you or I. Well, especially because it's three centimetres tall

for my little figures I had. Yeah. I suppose so, yeah. That's quite nice, though. The best thing about... Were you just at one link of the chain? Well, no, three or four. No, because Michelangelo

had a longer can of nunchucks. I think in real life they're quite small. Yeah. But he had quite a long... Oh, okay. Tiny little bath chair. I see what you mean, okay.

And what I would say is that you can tell just from the Ninja Turtles, American characters and the British ones or the Japanese ones because the Ninja Turtle eyes would not have any eyes. They have no pupils drawn on.

Right. And if you had the Hero Turtles, they had pupils. That's good trivia. I definitely preferred, I had a Donatello Ninja Turtles, and he was the coolest because he was the Japanese version. So there we go. And they had a big boat staff, didn't they? Well, he's easier to play, I think, in the schoolyard

because you can find a broom for some work, can't you? Yeah, always. Always find a broom. But never want to do any sweeping. No.oolyard because you can find a broom for some work aren't you yeah always always find a broom but never want to do any sweeping no so what stuff did you think was going to be happening

when you because I remember the reason I'm asking this question because I remember being absolutely convinced by the idea of flying cars right

and I remember thinking that it would be upsetting because when I was an adult to the age I am now all footballers because obviously I loved football

when I was a kid all footballers would be like it was sort of I was scared adult to the age I am now, all footballers, because obviously I loved football when I was a kid, all footballers would be like... I was scared they were going to mostly be androids slash robots, but I was also fairly fearful they were going to be like aliens as well. Right. And the game was going to change beyond all recognition. I was worried about the admin of the game. I mean, to be fair, you've always been against VAR.

Boring. Yeah, that is true. You've always been against VAR. Maybe that's why, yeah. God, just constant culture fear. Yeah. Wow. Did you not have any sort of...

To be honest, I was such a computer nerd. I think I kind of had a very kind of perhaps a slightly less big idea about where things were going to go. And I think I couldn't see the wood for the trees. I think I was just going, oh, three megabytes of RAM. Yeah. Oh, computer graphics being exponentially better.

Yeah. And I mean, to be fair, we're right on course for what I thought it would happen. So I'm pretty happy. What did you think about the internet when it first came along? Do you remember? I thought, how do I get these pictures downloaded quicker?

The reason I asked that as well is because I remember going to a friend's house who had like, he lived on the other side of town, he had like quite

rich parents and he had this internet capable computer for a long time before we did. But the thing was, I don't, my memory of it

might be sketchy but people listening our age may sort of empathise with it. I don't know if I knew or any of us knew that a search engine existed. Right. It was either You either knew the website or you didn't. It was either before

search engines were actually invented or before they were part of the common sort of consciousness. So what he had was this internet capable computer and this book, almost like a manual, with about 100 websites in it. Oh, like a directory sort of thing, right? Yeah, it's basically a directory, yeah,

and you just have to type it in, and the URLs would be so long. Have you heard that Radio 1, it might have been you who told me about it, the Radio 1 guy talking about it, it might be Pete Tong. Oh, yeah, doing it for the first time, sort of explaining what his website address is.

He reads the URL, it takes about 10 minutes. Yeah, it was, it for the first time, sort of explaining what his website address is. He reads the URL, it takes about 10 minutes. Yeah, it's like bbc.org or something. It's something really antiquated. bbc.org forward slash

Shores forward slash programs forward slash presenters forward slash Pete.Tong at RM

you know all this wacky stuff and he's doing it all over the top of like a 90s bed a 90s music bed but the internet

back then was like all kind of like little animated gifs and it's really weird what's come back and what's kind of remained I suppose to a certain extent

the things that used to excite me back in the day with computer technology was things like light pens these fascinating pieces of really antiquated technology now,

but you could draw directly on the screen with a pen. And I remember my mate had an Amstrad PCW. He was a bit of the school bully, so he wasn't really my mate. He's a lad who lived around the corner, but I used him for his Amstrad PCW. Did he bully you? He didn't bully me, but I don't really know why he didn't bully me, to be honest, but he was just known as a bit of a bully.

But I kind of wanted to have a fiddle with his pcw so to speak yeah and uh his uh and his dad i think was uh had a little um home office and i played with this kind of like pen and i was fascinated with the technology and it's the technology that kind of went away nobody reused it again yeah and this is like 8-bit computing and then it's kind of come back with you know the whole kind of everything everything's a touchpad now and it's a touchscreen and stuff like that so we kind of but we said goodbye to that technology for a little while same with vr remember like in the mid uh night no well the sort of early 90s you'd have like craig charles on bbc2 doing like those really heavy headsets the things that

would give you you know compressed vertebrae if you put them on your head for two and motion sickness and motion sickness all that business. That's obviously back with VR. I mean, again, I think it's going to go away again. Well,

this is going to lead me to my next question because I remember working for Sky TV way back in the day and they were trying to introduce

3D TV again and they put quite a lot into it and we were given a big presentation on it and everything and that never really took after it.

People sort of had it in their homes for a while. They bought these goggles and all this other crap, and it never really happened. And you wonder whether virtual reality, which has had like a few sort of false starts itself, will ever really come into the public consciousness properly. But, I mean, I know this isn't really maybe easy to answer, but what can you, do you think, in 2018,

what should we be getting excited about, Pete? What's going to be going on i don't i mean i do sort of just well i think the problem is the pace of technology isn't keeping up with the infrastructure for me right um i live in soho i've got you know 100 you know a thousand pound bloody you know iphone x um and i can't access most of the features because um the 3g and 4g capabilities of my area is too poor it's poor so there needs to be an extension of the um of the amount of uh frequencies they can use or something because i can't use half the features on my mobile phone and i i also live in the middle of Soho and unless I want to fork out the best part of 500 quid a month for a business line,

I can't access more than 2 megabits per second, which is smaller than a megabyte, broadband. So I do think capacity is a big problem and that is going to continue to be a big problem in the future.

Because I think... Are we going to see robot footballers or not? And especially in the developing world. You don't have that much exposure to the infrastructure that technology needs. So that needs to expand. That needs to get better. Thank you.

I think we're going to see robot personal assistants by June at the latest. In time for the summer. Well, you know, if you use Alexa every day, what's that? I don't. It just doesn't have hands.

I'll tell you what is very good. Speaking of Sky. If anyone's listening on Alexa, by the way, Alexa, play Luke and Pete Shaw. That's very nice. Like that.

That's good. Yeah. Alexa, search boobies. Alexa, leave five starstar review. You know that... Oh, you made me forget what I was going to say now.

It's completely gone. Alexa, make Luke say something. Shall we do some emails? Let's do some emails. Shall we have a little... What time is it? Yeah, let's have a little break. We'll be back in a second, yeah.

That's too quiet again, isn't it? Always the same. We'll both look after Luke. We'll both back in a second, yeah? That's too quiet again, isn't it? Always the same. We'll both look after Luke. We'll both look after Luke. If he feels sad without mum and dad, we'll both look after Luke. Only if. Only if.

Only if he. I don't feel sad without mum and dad these days. And whoever says that is a liar. When I was a kid, I got really homesick once on a Boy Scout camp. Yeah, you really do on a boy scout camp yeah you really do on those things don't you but then you find friends and learn a little bit about yourself so if you're listening out there i'm gonna do that thing that people do on a level results day if you're listening out there and you're 13 or 14 and you're missing don't god don't listen to this

don't worry about it because look how cool i am now and i was homesick too okay for more information go to i have diabetes i was homesick so i found solace in sweets and now i have diabetes so maybe don't eat sweets dickhead solace in sweets alexa eat sweets stop alexa in it stop it what's the other one uh what is there a google one as well there's a google one where it goes, oh, you don't say... I mean, it is true. The way that you interact with computers, it makes you modify your behaviour. Right. Alexa, I must speak in the most neutral accent possible.

That's what I was going to say, even though we've done the break. Right. I'll quickly say that the only voice activation software or hardware, whatever, I've used that actually works is SkyQ. Right. SkyQ is very good. What's SkyQ? Is that like a remote-based kind of thing? Well, it's the latest Sky interface.

Hi, Mr. Sky. I know, well, yeah. But you press a button on the remote, and instead of having to go and search for things and type it in, you can just say the name of the actor or the program type or whatever. To be fair, a lot of that, and I guess that kind of thing integrates in with your Sky Q box more than anything else.

I think my television is that as well, but again, you're speaking to the remote and you just search YouTube or Google stuff. But this one, I mean, I don't know how good those ones

you're talking about are, but this Sky one is really, really good. And they're not even paying me to say that. I will have just about any opinion for money, but that's a true one.

So we had a bit of a decent, well, we had a good response to the show last week, One Elephant Outstanding, about the 911 call. Yes. The elephant's on the loose. Have you ever had to phone 999? Yeah, I've done it a few times. I've told you this. I've done it a few times.

Have you? Yeah, I did it about six months ago. A woman was knocked off a moped scooter at Vauxhall Roundabout. Right. And it was right next to where I was, so I called the emergency services. Alexa, call now. No. But luckily, this doctor turned up straight away.

Oh. And the ambulance was very quick anyway, but a doctor turned up, and he was like, because it was quite bad. I don't want to go into too much detail, but it looked like she had probably broken her leg. Right. He's nodding off camera. Was the leg round the wrong way? I don't want to

say that. Was it a compound fracture? Was it David Boost? Had the bone pierced the skin? No. I'm obsessed with that from Air Level History. No, it wasn't. GCSE History, where you do the history of medicine where, you know,

carbolic soap and things like that that would prevent disease because of compound fractures which are very hard to recover from. Well up until am I right in saying

up until the discovery of sort of microbiology and stuff I mean a lot of that stuff was very very guessworking. Oh yeah. Pasta and all that lot. They saved a lot of people.

Indeed. Inoculation. Sarah Nelms, the milkmaid who provided the cowpox pustules to make the cowpox and smallpox inoculation. So first time I've

heard cowpox said for probably about 20 years. I did have the name of the cow that provided the cowpox to the maid that provided the cow pox to the maid who uh who provided the um you know the the materials the raw materials that the person who um the dog the cat so crazy bird at the fly but in my head the cow's called daisy it's not called i was gonna say daisy every cow's called i know i was actually gonna say daisy but um yeah we had a good response to the old 911 call maybe

we'll get to that in a week or two. There's always a backlog because you guys are so generous in your emailing. We feel like we have to recognize as many of you as possible. So there's always a bit of a backlog. So do be patient. We will get to that at some point. But these are the emails that have been taking our fancy this week. Do you want me to go first?

Yeah, go on. I've got one here from Andrew from Newcastle who says, I'm Andrew from Newcastle. I'm 36 and I am near no remote controls as I am out Christmas shopping. So no battery out there. Well, if he's out Christmas shopping, surely there'll be some display models for like, I don't know,

a dancing Christmas tree. Get them opened, Andrew. There'll be some good batteries and those type of things. There will, wouldn't there? It'll be pretty. The problem is I think being in, well, I don't know for how much longer,

in an EU country, we're kind of shielded from the worst electronics. I remember reading about a man who buys just tat to sell in England and in Europe. Fidget spinners, for example. There was a guy who was one of the main importers of fidget spinners, and he could not get his hands on enough fidget spinners from China. And he basically said, toys, things like that, fidget spinners, and he could not get his hands on enough fidget spinners from China. And he basically said, toys, things like that, fidget spinners, pog sort of stuff, very, very big. Don't try and import electronics.

They ain't going to pass muster. They ain't going to pass EU law. They'll get inspected. Well, they'll get inspected, and you won't be able to sell them. So don't buy electronics. I think we're shielded from a lot of the tattier brands of Chinese battery, Taiwanese battery.

I think we're also shielded from a lot of the worst airlines in the world as well. Yeah,

I'd say so. Because of EU regulation. Corio can't fly over EU airspace. There are plenty of

African airlines that can't as well. They're the North Korean national airline. And I think maybe some

Chinese ones. Is it China Eastern? No, I've flown China Eastern. They're alright some, maybe some Chinese ones, I think. Is it China Eastern? No, I've flown China Eastern. They're all right. I can't remember. One of them. Anyway, this email from Andrew.

He says, Gents, I was just listening to your Roald Dahl chat from a couple of weeks ago, and it reminded me of a story I heard about the late, great Christopher Lee. Christopher Lee was also involved in espionage in World War II. He was, actually. He was in the Special Forces, wasn't he?

One of the precursors to the SAS. However, that is not the story I'm going to elaborate on. In fact, it's much more recent. During the making of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, there was a scene where an extra was stabbed during the battle with a knife. The extra let out a scream, at which point Lee stepped up and informed the director, Peter Jackson,

that the way in which the extra was stabbed would puncture his lung and therefore there would be no air to let out a scream. I believe Jackson took on board the point and was slightly scared. Christopher Lee is a magnificent,

was a magnificent man. He's a legend. He was a bit of like, he could do everything. Oh mate, he's a polymath. If you listen to his Desert Island Discs, which I would recommend you do after you've listened to all the Luke and Pete shows, he was in the SS, he could have been a top opera singer, and he sang on the Wicker Man soundtrack, which of course he also starred in, and several heavy metal records as well. records as well. I think he had the option to go and study opera as an opera singer under one of

the great opera singers in Italy, I think, way back in the day. And he also starred in no less or no fewer than 208 films. That's a great email. Thanks, Andrew. I love Christopher Lee. Yeah, he's up there with lead singer of Maiden.

Oh, Bruce Dickinson. He's another polymath, isn't he? Yeah, like world-ranked fencer, airline pilot, obviously amazing singer. But one of the... Just thinking about it, one of the funny things

about Christopher Lee that I heard, either heard it on Desert Island Discs or I read it, is that obviously he was well-known for being Dracula in these Hammer Horror movies. And he didn't actually want to do more than one Dracula, but he ended up doing about eight of them because

apparently the producer or the director was a real shit and would ring him up and say by the way, I've told the studio and all the staff that you've agreed to do another Dracula movie. And he's like, oh yeah, but I don't want to do it. He's like, well you've got to do it because

if you don't, they're all going to lose their jobs and because he was like a good egg he was all right i'll do it and he said it was basically emotional blackmail the whole time until he eventually said i'm not doing it anymore that guy needs an agent yeah i know right yeah exactly yeah wow thanks for that andrew fantastic um hello to alex brown i wanted to squeeze this one uh in last time but we didn't have time. I was listening to the episode with Rick Edwards recently, and it inspired me to listen to a few episodes of Science-ish. All right. Not sure how I feel about that. Done a good job for him, hasn't it?

Yeah. All right. First one was about Inception, and they spoke about lucid dreaming. Being a light sleeper myself, I thought I might be good at this, so I listened to their tips and gave it a try. I'm a bit of a lucid dreamer. I was waiting because you've got to control your control your dreams isn't it i can very very i mean i'll talk to you a little bit about dreams in a minute i can occasionally lucid dream but not very often yeah i don't know if there's any i don't know if there's any formula to it i uh i don't feel like i've got any control maybe we need a listener scientist it doesn't sound that good though no it doesn't sound that good it sounds like it's presented by a tall man.

You're saying you can do it? Yeah, I do it quite a lot. I'm sort of in a dream and I'm like... What's your tactic, though? What is my tactic? Because the reason I ask that... You know when you start to fall asleep? Because you usually do most of your dream in the start and the end of the dream.

Apparently so, yeah. As soon as I... You know when you sort of drift off and you start to think something mental and you're like, that, yeah. As soon as I... You know when you sort of drift off and you start to think something mental and you're like, that's mental. Yeah. And that's not something I can explain to anyone who's not asleep.

So I was like... So then you sort of realise you did a bit of dreaming there. So you're like, right, where do I want to go? Sort of halfway. I've occasionally had the idea that... Always ends in fucking. I've occasionally had the... Shall we travel to the forbidden land of Atlantis?

No, fucking again. Shall we fly over, you know, Machu Picchu? Nah, fucking... I will do, but I've got loads of fucking letters to do. I've fucked everyone in the world, yeah, mate. And some people that don't even exist. Because I can literally do what I want. No, the reason...

I'm in... What's that film with all the blue people? Oh, Avatar. Avatar. I mean, Avatar, doing them as well. Doing them. I like that was the first film you thought of. I'm just trying to think of the most outlandish film I could. Ooh, they're blue like that. I like that was the first film you thought of. I'm just trying to think

the most outlandish film I could. Oh, they're blue and tall. I've occasionally had the, I think that says a lot about your psyche. Yeah. I've occasionally had the feeling in the dream

that I know I'm dreaming. Yeah. But I've not always really been able to do anything about it. As soon as that happens though, you're like, ah, you get kicked out. Let's listen to the rest

of his email though. Oh yeah, sorry. I feel like you shortchanged it. Sorry, mate. Well, basically, first thing they advised was that whenever you wake up, you should write down your dreams. So I've started doing that as well.

Really? Yeah, for the purposes of this show, and I'll come on to it in a minute. Okay. So I started doing that. I started writing down my dreams. First night, I woke up, wrote down my dream in my cunningly placed dream book next to my bed. I woke up for work, all excited to see what I'd been dreaming,

and I found an empty page. Waking up and writing down my dream must have actually happened in my dream meaning my subconscious completely took the piss out of me.

Fantastic. I've since been writing down dreams but not really lucidly dreamt. To be honest all I've learnt is that my subconscious is a lot smarter

than my conscious and that I regularly seem to dream about cats with no bumholes. I haven't drawn you a picture because I'm sending this on my work phone. Alex, that's an impeccably written email. I probably didn't deliver

it very well, but fantastic. What about his brand of batteries, Pete? That's the thing. You're reading the same email I'm reading. High watt, super heavy duty. Yeah, indeed. He also does a pretty good line in telling us almost exactly where he lives.

Yeah, should we say that or not? Westbourne Park. Yeah, that's something in the area of London. That's all right. Westbourne Park sounds like a road, though. It does, yeah. I think. It does.

On that note about not actually writing it down, I once had a dream that I'd been up all night. And then when I woke up, I was convinced a dream that I'd been up all night and then when I woke up I was convinced for hours that I hadn't slept. And it's only when that sort of haze starts to wear off that I realise

what are you talking about? Obviously you have slept. And the fingernails fell off because you hadn't slept for weeks. Yeah. And so I wrote down two dreams when I saw this email for the purposes of this show.

Okay. I had two since. Yeah. First one, I'll basically, I'll read them verbatim as to how I wrote them straight after I dreamt them. Yeah. Okay. Now, I know it's boring hearing about other people's dreams, but this is specific to this

particular issue. I keep having similar ones where Lord Rambler from Thor Rambler and me are arguing about wires, which we do in real life. Yeah, that's so boring. Like, we do that almost every week. Yeah. We argue about something tedious. That's so boring.

Yeah. So, here's mine. I had a band, and the only song we could play was Flagpole Sitter by Harvey Danger. Ha! Isn't that one? No, for those that don't know, it's... I have visions, I was in them, I was looking into the mirror. It's the theme tune to Peep Show.

Yeah. And everyone loved us because it's such a brilliant song but we kept playing it over and over it was fun to sing but tough to keep the crowd interested i had a dream that we uh that my band uh was forced to get back together uh within like about but we had to practice all the songs and and do it the gig the same night uh and all of my guitar strings kept falling off yeah you just are for I've had similar ones to that. And you walk off and try and have sex with someone. Then I'm off.

Yeah. Sorry, guys, I can't do the gig. He got again. I have to have sex with every member of my band. And my second one is this. Again, this is exactly how I wrote it at the time. I was in the pub with a mate, and we were sitting having a beer in a sort of snug

that was down a little ladder. Do you know a snug? Like a little area, a little weird sort of snug that was down a little ladder do you know a snug like a little area a little weird uh no what like a snug would be um a tiny little booth right just a seat in it and a table for meant for like two or three people okay it's private basically right and this one was down the bottom of a ladder chris moyles turned up and started throwing drinks over us and spitting and so i climbed the ladder really angry to try and punch him. However, when I got near him, I kept missing him. And then the friend I was with told me to stop

as he was planning to open a restaurant in the area and didn't want to upset the local clientele. And I've put in brackets, to be fair, I was watching a lot of MasterChef at the time. Don't upset Chris Miles. No, I tried to punch him in the face. Heaven knows he's a big eater. I remember I had a very literal kind of Donald Trump,

around about the inauguration, sort of like being next to Donald Trump and going, would I, like thinking through how my life would converge with a terrible timeline if I punched him in the face. Yeah. And I was thinking, I've just whacked him now. Where were you at this point? We were just in a corridor.

Right. And like the sun was shining and he was in front of me and he was like shaking hands with people. And I remember sort of thinking, if I just punch him, will I definitely get shot immediately? And I was thinking about this quite recently. I was thinking, how punched would he get before my head was caved in by a big bullet?

It wouldn't take long. No. I'd be mid-swing and my head would just be taken off. Look at your head and I'll think, that is prime for the cave-in.

That is prime for the cave-in. Yeah. I've not got a big head, I've got a small head. I know, but it looks quite fragile. Tight. Very tight, like a piñata.

Yeah. And then you try to have sex with the bodyguard, probably. I'd try and fuck the hole in my head. I'd be like a big Taurus knot. Disgusting.

You're like a live Mobius strip. Sorry about that. Sorry for bringing that down. The image of me fucking the hole in the top of my head. I've long been led to believe... We've all tried, lads. Come on. I wasn't even listening to that last sentence

because I was trying to formulate my next one. I've long been led to believe that hearing other people's dreams is boring and sometimes I do find it quite boring if you disagree

email in with info if you agree with us let us know and we won't push up on that yeah no I think it is okay fine

we won't do it unless unless a famous person says it about another famous person I think that's quite interesting sometimes. Luke Moore and Chris Moyles? Luke Moore and Harvey Danger?

One of the best one-hit wonders bands of all time? Yeah, they're up there, aren't they? I think so, yeah. Listen, I'm calling them a one-hit wonder because I personally don't know any of their other songs, but they might not be. I listened to the Marilyn Manson interview a couple of years ago, and it made me want to listen

to Marlon Manson's... What was that? Mechanical Animals? Was that one of his? Yeah. Antichrist Superstar. I just realised that was a big one, yeah. The Beautiful People and all that.

Fascinating life. He is a fascinating character. You know, I actually listened to a show. I forget which one it was, but it was about an undercover guy who nailed a quite high-ranking member of Al-Qaeda. That was Pod Save the World. That's right.

It was. And he was operating a sleeper cell in Canada. It was a plot to derail a train, wasn't it? Correct. But the interesting part, I don't know if you feel the same, but the interesting part of that was that the guy who was quite high up in Al-Qaeda or whatever

was a very, very well-celebrated scientist to the point where he was being tipped to win the Nobel Prize for physics or chemistry or something. Well, that's right. I mean, it's very rare for that kind of crazy, isn't it? I mean, that is kind of like... It's very rare that Al-Qaeda, it's very rare that ISIS and stuff get these kind of people who are genuinely,

incredibly fiercely intelligent and... I don't know. and, you know, well, I mean, by and large, the people who do terrible things or plan terrible things

are fucking idiots. Yeah, but I imagine the ones at the top of the tree are quite switched on. Yeah, yeah, but he was,

you know, he was an operative in operating in America. That's the thing, like in Canada rather. He was apparently pioneering the use of nanotechnology,

nanorobots to cure cancer and stuff. The guy could have been an absolute legend, but obviously... Legernd. He went to the dark side. He went to the dark side. I find the fascinating thing about how the guy went to acting school to use a story about his dying mother to... To access his emotions.

To access his emotions and feel more angry and be more authentic. It's interesting what they say about what's entrapment and what's just

going along with what someone has already got. Where does that start and end really? I don't know

how to explain it. I guess the laws change from territory to territory but I don't think you can

lead people on and stuff and entrap them. Hey guys, let's do this. I wonder if that guy, he went to go and... What we're talking about here is an undercover FBI agent

who was a very, very adept at operating undercover, but he went to an acting teacher in Hollywood, but they didn't mention who he was. Not that I remember, anyway. They mentioned the guy's name. I wondered if he was one of those method practitioners that Daniel Day-Lewis uses.

I think that's a hallmark of it. You access emotions quite regularly. It's originally a Russian technique, but I think it was popularised by Marlon Brando, I think, or someone else in New York. I was fascinated to hear that. It might have been Laurence Olivia

I think Dustin Hoffman would Dustin Hoffman ever have acted with Laurence Olivia yeah probably Dustin Hoffman did a couple of

he was can't talk about Dustin Hoffman at the moment no terrible he did a couple of runs around the building to sound tired

because he there was a scene where he was marathon man right Laurence Olivia plays Dr. Joseph Mengele of runs around the building to sound tired because there was a scene where he was... Marathon Man. Right. Laurence Olivier plays Dr. Joseph Mengele, the Nazi doctor.

And Dustin Hoffman plays the guy trying to catch him. That's right. It's a great movie. Well, he had to pretend, Hoffman had to pretend that he was out of breath because he'd been running.

So he ran around the building a couple of times and Laurence Olivier just said, just do some acting, darling. Yeah, it's called acting. Just do some acting. Someone said that Laurence Olivier just said, just do some acting, darling. Yeah, it's called acting, yeah. Just do some acting. Someone said that Laurence Olivier could speak Shakespeare's words

as if he had just thought them himself for the first time. Fantastic. The excellent Laurence Olivier there. Acting does get better. I mean, actors have gotten better, haven't they? People who were celebrated back in the day, you sort of watch them now and you sort of go...

But then there's timeless people who do very little, like sort of watch them now and you sort of go, ooh. But then there's timeless people who do very little, like Newman and McQueen, where you sort of go, oh, you're so handsome and you just, that's star quality. You know, I think, is it, Steve McQueen and Paul Newman were in a movie together, I'm probably going to get this wrong.

Was it Towering Inferno? That also had Fred Astaire in it and also O.J. Simpson. No, I don't know that's the same movie. It might be. Because it was all like an ensemble piece, wasn't it? It was a big disaster movie in the 80s, early 80s? No, it was 70s.

Was it? It was mid-70s. You're right, though. Anyway, McQueen and Newman were in it. My point was going to be that one of them, I think McQueen was a famous dickhead. He was an absolute shit. Right. And he was a big rival of Paul of them, I think McQueen, was a famous dickhead. Like he was an absolute shit. Right.

And he was a big rival of Paul Newman's, of course. And the rumour has it that McQueen would only sign up to be in the movie if he got exactly the same amount of lines as Paul Newman.

So they had to rewrite it. To the actual... So they had to rewrite it. To the letter. Yeah. Because Newman played the architect and McQueen played

a fireman, I think. I can't remember. That sounds about right, yeah. There we go. It was a good film back in the day, though. I am a fireman, I think. I can't remember. That sounds about right, yeah. There we go. It was a good film back in the day, though. I am a big fan of Paul Newman. But I think the... I wish I had his eyes, as Dog Dies in Hot Cars once wrote.

Did they really? I wish I had Paul Newman's eyes. Who could forget that band? Al Pacino says that the older you get, the less acting you actually have to do. Yeah. He said... I don't think I've mentioned this before,

maybe I have, apologies if I have, but he said these days I just have to walk into a room and raise an eyebrow, and they say, give that man an Oscar. But when he was younger... He doesn't get it, though, does he? Give that man an Oscar! Didn't get it, didn't get it. He has got one, though, I think. Yeah, but not for anything he's done recently, has he? No, probably not.

Remember that film he did with Pacino? He is Pac not. Remember that film he did with Pacino? He is Pacino. And Raging Bull. What's his name? That's Robert De Niro. Yeah, De Niro, Pacino.

Oh, Heat. No, they were reunited, weren't they? With 50 Cent, I think. In a terrible film. Oh, yeah, I remember what you mean. The dreadful film that shall not be watched by anyone ever. Was it called Righteous Kill? It was called Righteous Oh, yeah, I know what you mean. The dreadful film that shall not be watched by anyone ever.

Was it called Righteous Kill? It was called Righteous Kill, yeah. It was not a righteous film. It was bloody dreadful. And the annoying thing is I rarely watch films. I'm a bit Michael Owen in that sense. I rarely watch films. I just sort of go, oh, I'm going to be here for two hours.

I watched Logan Lucky recently. I enjoyed that film not as much as I thought I might. The trailer looked really good, and I thought it was going to be great, and then I was like, that's all right. So that's me saying something's brilliant and then thinking about it

and then in the middle of the sentence going, yeah, it was all right. Yeah, you did that a lot, though. I did that. I find myself in cul-de-sacs all the time. Should I read another email, Pete? Yeah, go on. Yeah, go on.

Go on, mate. Help me out. Before you find yourself read another email? Yeah, go on. Yeah, go on. Go on, mate. Help me out. Help me find my thread. Do you want to hear about a hippo? Yeah, all right. I talked about hippos a little while ago after my Kisumu Kenya trip. Exactly.

Thank you to a couple of people who donated, by the way. Oh, good. That's good. You got some donations. Good. This is from Sean Malley, and this is very much a follow-up to your talk

of hearing a baby hippo being hit over the face with a tray on one of our other shows. And if you haven't heard that, you are wasting your life. Go and check it out. Sean says, Hello, Luke and Pete. Listening to Pete talk about a baby hippo

in a Kenyan restaurant, I was reminded of a local celebrity in my girlfriend's native Cincinnati, Ohio. Baby Fiona the hippo. Back in January, Fiona became the first Nile hippo born in the zoo for 75 years. I mean, to that sense, I sort of go, it is a zoo and it is in Cincinnati.

So I go, oh, it's the first one we've, well, yeah, I mean, they don't really live here, do they? What's your point, though? I'm just saying that it's in a zoo. It's one zoo out of a million in the US. You could say that about any animal raised in captivity, couldn't you? What do you mean? Well, it's not supposed to be born in.

What do you expect? Yeah, I was just saying, 75 years. I started going, well, that's not an accolade for me. Well done, you've done it. But don't say for 75 years. Should I kibosh the rest of the email? Do you want me to carry on? Just delete, just click delete. I'm Pete and I'm a hippo expert now

because I once saw one. I used to work in a zoo, we didn't have any hippos though. No? Why not? They are racist. Right, and you're in Leicester, you say? Yeah. Anyway, Pete, on that note,

I'm going to carry on. Unfortunately, baby Fiona the hippo was born badly premature. Oh, a tiny little bit, a smaller baby hippo than you'd even have any right to expect. Is that what they said when she was delivered? This is small. This looks like a child's toy. This is a smaller hippo than anyone would have any right to expect.

I want to press its teeth down to see which one makes its mouth shut in that game. The crocodile. That's the tail, isn't it? No. Oh, hungry hippos, I'm thinking. I game with the crocodile. That's the tail, isn't it? No. Oh, hungry hippos, I'm thinking. I'm still thinking of something else.

She was not really expected to survive to adulthood but had zoo employees caring for her around the clock, feeding her, keeping her skin wet in a kiddie paddling pool

and carefully exercising her to get her strength up. The local children's hospital premature babies unit got involved. Well, they're not qualified. Assisting with several IV drips which is a tricky prospect for a hippo i'm only kidding of course that was very kind of them to do so the local news started to give regular updates on her progress and she's

now living a happy hippo life in the lagoon with her mother fiona briefly received some national fame after photobombing a marriage proposal in the zoo she's now the zoo's main attraction and because she was hand raised by humans for so many months, she's an absolute ham for the camera, and stars in a YouTube series produced by the zoo as well. She will claim her life. There's a load of it. She will claim that they are

very dangerous animals, and she will claim her life. You're bigging her up now, Sean, but get between her and the water, and we'll never hear from you again. But Sean has included three YouTube clips for us to watch. I've watched one of them, very, very cute, worth checking out. Maybe we'll share those from you again but i'm sure has included three youtube clips for us to watch i've watched one of them very very cute right um worth checking out maybe we'll share those on social media as well but good to get more hippo stories yeah they're lovely and smooth and interesting animals can i take this down to the trenches this hippo chat take us down the water i'm taking it down to the trenches by saying and if those guys that whoever's listening out there

can find this story because i tried to find it once and I couldn't. Right. I'm fairly sure I read about a guy who claimed to have been eaten by a hippo but survived. As in he crawled his way back out of the mouth. Out of the mouth, yeah.

Yeah. I mean that is... How do you time that? It's like a video game. I know, right? Like Mario. Don't get it wrong. Don't get it wrong

because you'll get in a chomping. You don't get three lives in this game. I just don't... Do they bite people or do they just whack them? He was punctured by those massive teeth a couple of times and just swallowed. I mean, they say they're herbivores, but they do kill a lot of people.

I'm not having this. I think he just got in their way. I think that's what happened. But anyway, thanks for that, Sean. He says thanks and love the show. It's a little bit. I think that sort of thing really works on television cable news in America, doesn't it? It's like Parks and Rec.

Is it a donkey or a horse they've got? Little Sebastian. Little Sebastian. It's that kind of thing. Yeah, they love it. The towns kind of have them as mascots. They still do the thing that we used to do in the UK years ago, where it'll be like they'll have the opening line to a story.

Because I think because they've got so many local news networks, they'll have the opening line to a story. And they because they've got so many local news networks they'll have the opening line to a story and they'll go and we cross over to Pete with more and Pete will go a sleepy town

and it's like and they reconstruct stuff and like get Vox Pops and everything and we don't really do that here I was at the corner of the street

and a hippo just came out and swallowed this guy whole and I was like oh god I'm never going to see that again. Yeah. Can I have my money now?

And it'll end by the reporter going, and if you see a hippo, you're advised by local law enforcement to stay inside. Let's hear from Sergeant Paul. Seriously, sir, don't go near the hippo. They're disgusting animals. We had reports of a hippo. They're disgusting animals. We had reports. They drink petrol. Of a hippo burglarization. Anyway, that's how we perceive American news.

Exactly. Right. Shall we go to... Have you seen... Oh, God, this picture's fantastic. There's a man by the name of... Actually, shall we go for Andres Sanchez's one? Have we got time? Yeah, let's squeeze him in before a bit of men Carter action.

All right, cool, yeah. All right. Do you think this guy took a lead from last week's Luke and Pete show? A classic case of life imitating art, if ever I saw one. I don't know what Andres here is referring to, but I'll go with it. Basically, on the BBC a little while ago, a surgeon who marked his initials on the livers

of two transplant patients has admitted assault by beating I think this references first of all this is horrific yeah second of all

I think it references something we talked about a few weeks ago when you were talking we were talking about people's corneas right and you said

oh it wouldn't be funny if you engraved your initials on their eyes I mean I didn't I probably said it with more wow vigour. You need to start taking responsibility.

Because I'll tell you what. Simon Brammell, 53. Presumably Dr. Simon Brammell. They've not put doctor in there. Well, maybe he's not anymore. Maybe he wasn't in the first place. Do you want to know why they haven't put doctor in there, Pete? And this is a nice bit of trivia.

Why? Because he's a surgeon. Surgeons are never referred to as doctor. Is that right? Because they never used to be doctorsgeons are never referred to as doctor. Is that right? Because they never used to be doctors. They're referred to as mister. Listen, heaven forbid you ever get referred to a surgeon. Mr. Bramall?

It'll be mister or missus. Will you put another liver in me? I want two livers. That might have been what he said. He committed the offences at Birmingham's Queen Elizabeth Hospital in February and August 2013. The liver, spleen and pancreas surgeon was suspended later in the year.

He pleaded guilty to... I mean, he couldn't really plead not guilty. Who put those initials? He's racking his brains. Is there another surgeon by my... Who put SB? That was Steve Brown. It wasn't me.

It was Steve Brown. Super brilliant. Steve Brown's a janitor. It was not Steve Brown. But he came to attention in 2010. This can be taken away so quickly. So Mr Brammell came to attention back in 2010 when he transplanted a liver saved from a burning aircraft

into a patient. So they were transporting an organ, transporting a liver across, and I think the airplane crashed. And so he managed to use the liver that was found in the wreckage. So this man not only is... I don't understand why he's getting credit for that, because the organ is either fit for purpose or it's not.

He's putting offal in people. He's practically putting offal in people. Is that a human liver? It looks like one. It's got my initials on it. Is that a liver partho? His guy's... Oh, man. Shall we finish up with a bit of Men Carter?

Yeah, thanks to... What was his name? Andrew Sanchez for getting in touch with that. Sounds like a footballer. It does. Yeah, Men Carter, do you want to do it or shall I do it? Why don't you do it? Because I've been doing too much talking.

And to be honest, it's quite early and I'm too sleepy to actually speak. Can you stretch to give me a jingle? Yeah, all right then. What jingle do you want? Men Carter? Yeah. Yeah, all right then. What jingle do you want? Mencar? Yeah. Makes sense, doesn't it?

The one you specifically designed for the purpose. You don't understand. Willie was a salesman. Say simply, very simply, with hope. Good morning. Good morning.

Good morning, don't tattoo my liver. I love the end of that jingle as you go, right, just crop it. Well, I did it for the first week and then I cropped it. It's like a one-second job for a man of your talent. It's not a one-second job. Do you want me to get into the weeds? No. About how hard that is.

Okay. It's really hard. Yeah? I'm very disorganised. Okay. This is from Mark from Malden. He's not given his full name. Is it the home of Malden Sea Salt? Could be, actually.

Could be. Luke was once on a YouTube Malden Sea Salt sponsored chef guy who was talking about favourite meals and stuff. It was like a sort of webisode, I guess you'd call it.

Webisode. Like sort of advertorial for Maldon sea salt. I've got loads of free sea salt out of it. What salt have you got in your house, mate?

But they do different versions of it. They do like... Garlic salt. Yeah, and lots of different types. Anyway, let's digress.

I need a drink. I'm so dry. Mark has suggested this, and it's an excellent story for Mankata, and I think it goes in with flying colours. And he says, first of all, his battery brand is a Mustang, which is good to see.

Classic. I like a Mustang. It's one of my favourites. He says, hi, gents. I'd like to put forward an entry for Mankata, a man who goes by the name of Frank Hayes. Let me take you back to June 4th, 1923 in Belmont Park, New York. A steeplechase took place

in which a 20 to 1 outsider, Sweet Kiss, Jockeyed by Frank Hayes and owned by Miss A.M. Frayling, overcame the odds to win. It was Frank Hayes' first ever win. However, all was not as it seemed. Miss Frayling came over to congratulate Mr Hayes alongside race officials when Hayes fell out of the saddle and landed lifeless on the floor. It was only then that they discovered Frank Hayes was dead. Wow! It was suggested that Hayes had a heart attack in the saddle mid race because of his extreme

efforts to meet the weight requirements the horse went on to win the race by a head and hayes was still atop her back making him the only ever jockey to have won a race after death hayes was buried wearing his colorful racing silks three days later the horse now nicknamed sweet kiss of death never raced again. I mean, are they surprised? Who's going to bet on that? Yeah, exactly. Who's going to bet on the Sweet Kiss of Death? Goodness me. I don't know if they actually didn't rename it that, and that was a joke on Mark's part.

Mark from Malden, that is, oh yeah. No, do you reckon? No, I don't think, I think it's probably right. Mark from Malden, that's a hell of a story. And what I would say is that, well done, well done, Frank Ayres. How good were the other jockeys? That's what I want to know. Because they are literally being beaten by a dead man. By a dead man. Yeah. I just, oh dear, that's a horrible story.

But as far as I understand it, and my knowledge of horse racing is fairly rudimentary, but as far as I understand it, Pete, in the home stretch of, I mean, you have different lengths of horse race, but I think as soon as the jockey essentially pushes the button or he just kicks him and goes, we're off now it's not really much you can do as a jockey. They're off, that's it, they're away. A lot of it is spent biding

your time, getting in position, jockeying for position, quite literally and then at the right point, if the horse has still got anything left in the tank they kick it and it's off. So it does make sense because I don't really think there's much

you can do after that yeah maybe that last kick was too much exertion for him I mean it's like a riddle isn't it it's like you know

he won the race yeah but was but came off the horse dead what happened I cannot operate on this boy

because he is my son that one yeah what's the one somebody sent me my mate sent me a Christmas card with a picture of his beautiful daughter saying, Happy Christmas from the Windrums. His name's Windrums, no secret.

But he sent me a little riddle instead of a Christmas message. And it basically said... A bit needy, that, isn't it? Oh, well, please get back in touch with the answer. No, I'd forgotten the riddle, to be honest. Not only have you not solved it, you can't even remember the riddle. Oh, yeah, the music stops, the woman dies, what happened? What? And that's just it?

That's it. It could be anything. I googled the answer, and they're all stupid. Right. It's like, oh, a woman has gone... No, put it out there. Leave it for the listeners. No, I'll give you one that's stupid. It's like, basically, this person going,

well, there are five solutions, all of which don't seem very tidy. One was a woman is blind and she puts the radio on the boat so that when she swims out, it's very precarious, swims out to sea, she knows where to aim for.

The radio lost reception, so therefore she drowned. Yeah. Because the music stopped. I mean, that's a long shot. That's a long shot to me. That was number five of five stupid answers. Give us the riddle again and we'll put it out to hello at lukeandpeach.com. The music stopped. The woman died. Why?

Hello at lukeandpeach.com. For an answer to that or to get in touch with any other subject we've talked about today or indeed your own subject. You want to make a prediction for 2018? Please do so.

Give us one of those shit riddles and we'll try and solve it in the most ornate way possible. Okay. I'm up for that. Yeah, hello, that's that email address again. It's hello at lukeandpetecher.com.

We're out of time, aren't we, Pete? We are out of time. We've got to get out of here. We've got things to do. It's 2018. Yeah, I know, right? Bitcoin.

We've got to go and fucking save the world with Bitcoin. We ain't going to hang about here. We've got things to do. It's 2018. Yeah, I know, right? Bitcoin. We've got to go and fucking save the world with Bitcoin. We ain't going to hang about. Life's going to pass us by. Yeah, exactly. It's 2018 now. We're in the future. Let's get out of here.

Let's go and have sex with our robot cars. It's Christmas! That's wrong, isn't it? Not Christmas. I've never known a radio professional to be at such odds with his equipment. I'm working off an iPad. It's Christmas. It's Christmas.