The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 33: Too much seasoning

Episode Date: January 15, 2018

We start episode 33 with an insight into Pete 'Donny/PD' Donaldson's utterly confusing approach to timekeeping before running through his recent trip to Krakow in Poland, a city in which he managed to offend a local tour guide with his behaviour in a famous salt mine. And yes, you did read that sentence correctly.Also in this episode we hear from a listener who has been through a chest procedure that baffles the mind and soul and another friend of the show who has executed possibly the most mind-numbing job imaginable. And make sure you stick around to the very end because we head into Mencarta this week with an entry from the purest and deepest depths of hell.Suggest ways in which we can avoid hell: [e-mail], and review our heavenly podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your pods! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

it's a brand new year and it's time for the luke and pete show i mean we're three weeks into the new year but you know what i mean how you doing luke you all right yeah i'm all right by any measure it's a new year still 52 weeks long we're only three weeks in damn straight yeah are you getting used to how you can write 2018 when you write dates yet? God, no. I can't write, mate. I need to overestimate my skills. Yeah, so it's been a busy week.

We've all had a lot of fun working and that. I'm still not in my head space. It's not starting work and doing things. I mean, you don't do anything. Getting back into the routine. I do things, Luke Miller. I do things. In comparison to people who actually have jobs, yeah. That's what I'm saying. I mean you don't do anything getting back into the routine I do things Luke Miller I do things in comparison

in comparison to people who actually have jobs that's what I'm saying so it's really important when you do this type of job to remember when you used to have a proper job

people actually work really hard out there if I do like more than four hours a day I'm like Jesus yeah what's happening Jesus and also I'm having problems

we used to record bits and bobs at my radio station which is around the corner from my house at the little video and we now record in our own little own little gaff We used to record Bits and Bobs at my radio session, which is around the corner from my house, at the Lidio. And we now record in our own little gaff.

And I'm not used to having a commute, so I frequently either turn up 10 minutes late or an hour early for things. Well, I can read the WhatsApp conversation out for our listeners if you want. If you want, yeah. It was basically a case of... Let me find it. Where are you?

Pete Donaldson. There you are. Right away down the list. Saying, be with you, mate Donaldson, there you are. Right away down the list. Be with you, mate. Be with you at 12. Just leave in now. And I said, leave in now. You've got an hour and 40 minutes yet. And you replied saying, I've done it again. I've done it. Ha ha ha.

I've done it again. And the reference to doing it again is when... Did it with a smile? Yeah, you did it with a smile. I'm well used to this and well versed with this stuff with you so it doesn't bother me really. But Done It Again is a reference to about two years ago when we had a show on US radio. Right.

And we were recording it from London, of course, and they're five hours behind. And we used to go on air at six in the US. So we had to record it at one in the... Sorry, we used to go on air at six in the UK. I mean, it doesn't matter, but there's a time difference, isn't there? There was a time difference which confused you, like it confused me then. So we recorded it at 6pm in London. It would go out at one six in the UK. It doesn't matter, but there's a time difference, isn't there? There was a time difference which confused you. It confused me then.

So we recorded at 6pm in London. It would go out at 1pm Eastern in the US. You were presenting the show, Pete, if I remember correctly. I was presenting. I don't know how that happened. Got to about 5pm to 6pm. No Donaldson. Sent you a message.

No Donaldson, no party. Just finishing off in the gym. I was pumping iron. To be fair to you, you made it to the studio in about 18 minutes. It was unbelievable. I was like,

what was I like 10 minutes late? I stayed off until like the halftime kind of ad break, but it was, you know when you're sort of impressed by how quickly you got somewhere, but you're still late,

so it's annoying. Yeah. It's just stressful. You will not believe how quick I was at getting here, but then you sort of like, you were stressful you will not believe how quick i was at getting here but then you sort of like you were still lit yeah so you don't get any plod it's i'm not giving you a medal for that but it just made me laugh i was like that when i should have been leaving i was just pumping out a pump and iron yeah that's what people think about me i'm always just in the gym pumping iron is that the last time you've been in the gym probably

i sign up for oh god i sign up for like a, because I work until like midnight, kind of one o'clock kind of time. I'm always slightly buzzed still. And I'm like, that'll be a really good time to go to the gym. Because, you know, I don't go to sleep until about three. So your gym opens 24 hours then? Well, the thing is, the gym,

the easy gym that I'll sign up to isn't. But the gym that I signed up for is. But it's, I think it's a bit pick-up-y. I think it might be a bit gay pick-up-y gym sort of thing. Right, okay, yeah. At that time of the night anyway. So you just sort of spend your time sort of watching gay men just chatting each other up, basically.

So I get distracted watching the machinations of these chats. Of courting. Yeah, of courting. It's fascinating. Do you continue to go there? That's why I was going, oh, for crying out loud,

because I think I went once. I really need to cancel out of a gym membership. Yeah, I've got one. I'm not homophobic. I'm just very lazy. Gymphobic? I've got a gym membership, which I barely use.

It's just one of those things. My exercise of choice is to go running, so that doesn't cost anything. But then I like to go swimming as well. And the weather, when the weather is particularly inclement,

I like to go to the gym and run on the treadmill. But, I spent most of the week looking around, worried about errant torpedoes, if I'm honest. Oh,

I know, right? Well, yeah, we had the one in Denmark. There was a USS one, the USS, Looking around, worried about errant torpedoes, if I'm honest. I know, right? Well, yeah. We had the one in Denmark. There was a USS one. The USS? The USSR?

US. The USS one as well was quite interesting, which I read up on later. The USS is obviously the name for a ship, so that's why we said that. But anyway, that's what's been going on the last week. Thanks again for all your emails. We'll come to those a bit later. Do you want to do an It's Been? Yeah, it's been. Why don't you do the jingle?

Back on form. Okay, fine. All right, that's fair enough. Yeah, it's been. What do you mean the jingle? This is the jingle. What are you talking about? I'm going to ask you a question.

Oh. I know for a fact that you've been to Poland. Yes. How was it? Krakow. No, before I went, I was gone at Krakow.

And obviously, they love turning a W into V over there. I think I'd call it Krakow. No, before I went, I was gone at Krakow. And obviously, they love turning a W into V over there. I think I call it Krakow. Yeah. But, yeah, that's the thing. Do you call it Krakow? I think we call it Krakow, don't we? Let's call the whole thing off. Let's call the whole thing off.

But anyway, Krakow was brilliant. I really like that place. Like, that's good. I mean, what I would say is that to anyone used to um let's say u.s um service the u.s service industry for example you know how are you sir uh would you like another a fill up of coffee um and yeah um it's not like that i don't say fill up of coffee no one says that would you like a fill up of your juice would you like another juice box sir sure would you like another juice box like another slice um yeah it's not would you like another stevia it's not like that

it's not like that it's um it's uh they don't do service very well like like britain used to be i guess but um years ago my wife i i'm fairly certain my wife finds the service outside of London in England like laughably bad oh yeah it's incredible yeah compared to the US so it's not a huge

the service industry is a massive thing in the US right but we've sort of because obviously they went for tips and stuff but like I think England

have adopted the worst parts of decent service where every five minutes like every five minutes waiters will come over and go

how are you enjoying your meal? I'm like, just leave me alone. Just leave me be. Like, you'll get your tip. Not a problem. We're used to tips now.

We didn't used to tip. Now we tip. It's fine. Uh, but this kind of like constant kind of like, is everything okay? But you know, it's just like,

get out of my face. I can do everything. I can do everything. You've got a bottle of water there. You don't have to pour it for me. Let me do it. You'll get your tip. Don't worry about it.

But out east, it's more robust. Openly horrid to you in certain bars. I mean, to be honest, to be fair, Krakow is a big stag do place. And if you hear an English accent, you probably think the same thing. So, you know, I think that's fair.

It's good, isn't it? On a stag do. I didn't really sort of see any staggy. I didn't see fair it's good isn't it on a stag do on a stag do yeah it was good yeah I didn't really sort of see any staggy I didn't see any stags because I guess it was winter time people probably

spend a little bit more time in the summer but I think in the summer it would be a beautiful place to go on it's warm do you know what I was

this probably says more about surprised how warm it was well yeah my naivety is probably more to do with this than anything else but I went there in I think like June or something and it was absolutely

roasting hot. Like really close hot as well. It was warmer than London the weekend that I went. It's normally cold there though isn't it

in the winter? Yeah but I think it's one of those places that has a big swing. It's a big old swing. Yeah. So it can be like minus 20 or plus.

Right. But you had a nice time? I had a lovely time. I went to a salt mine. Yeah. I went to a like, you know, minus 20 or plus 40. But you had a nice time. I had a lovely time. I went to a salt mine. Yeah. I went to a salt mine, and it's basically this mine just outside of the city centre that miners used to obviously mine salt.

And it was 14th century, I think, 13th century. It's not just a clever name. No, no, no. It's actually a salt mine. And salt was the thing that made Krakow its money. It made Poland its money. It made Poland its money, to be honest. They manufactured table salt for the best part of half a millennia.

I don't know. A long time, a long time. Anyway, and they basically, the mine was so deep, and the mine was so kind of extensive. deep and the mine was so kind of um extensive like it was it's basically if you if you walked um through every uh cavern every single uh little corridor in that mine uh you would have walked to um warsaw that's how far away it is you know 150 miles worth of tunnels what did you do when you come out of warsaw and you had nowhere to stay um and so we went down there and uh but the salt mine is so extensive that it took such a long time

to get down for the miners they just decided to set up home down there which is incredible so they had shops and places to live places to just enjoy themselves pubs and also a couple of churches so they never had to come up

and the woman matter of fact, beautiful kind of accent, this kind of woman, she was like, kind of woman, this woman had a beautiful accent. And she was like going, yes, the horses, the working horses, they saw

the sunlight only once. They saw the sunlight only once and that was when they were dying. Oh my God. So they would never die underground. They would only die above ground.

So the horses would just get dragged out to die. Can I ask a sort of potentially stupid question? If they're going to be down there all the time, how does the air

get replenished? Well, I mean, the air's coming in. A little bit of ventilation and stuff. Right. You always need ventilation shaft ventilation and stuff. Right, okay. So you always need ventilation shafts and stuff. Yeah, okay.

Okay, right. Do you remember those Chilean ones? I do remember those Chilean ones. That was an amazing story, wasn't it? It was brilliant. Did they make a film out of it? They did, yeah. They took the time about it.

I think it only got released a little while ago. But I like the fact that a lot of the wives found out that they had mistresses when both parties turned up to the mine. But I think it was a really, if I remember correctly, these mines were stuck there for a long time and of course they were rescued famously. If I remember correctly,

it was a great example of large parts of the world coming together to develop and quickly manufacture this vehicle through these different specifications that only a certain size of vehicle could get down there to rescue it. And it actually worked.

And I know they're miners, but you look at the actual contraption that they sort of came up in. Oh, God. I know they really want to leave, but I'd be like, I don't want to get in that little tube. What if it gets caught on something? But your context is different.

You're stuck down there otherwise. Oh yeah. Listen, I'll put another way for you. I understand it's a bit of a scary little contraption you've got to get in. Would you like to never see any of your family ever again? Fair point. Alright. You've had mine. But the mind was great and they sort of said

one woman said you can lick the wall if you want because salt is naturally antiseptic nothing can grow on it particularly

it's ionised the swing and and you and so I give the wall a little bit of a lick and then we got brought

you are a man who is definitely going to agree to do that yeah and then we got brought on this big hall and the big hall had these amazing chandeliers

and it's where they used to eat, it's where they used to pray. It's all still there. It's all still there, but they put like a lot of statues in there for Pope John Paul was a big, I think he's from Krakow and he visited the mine about three times in his life.

And so they've made, so they made all these statues out of this hard rock salt. And it's incredible, incredible pieces of work. And I licked the wall next to John Paul, and the woman told me off, said, don't lick the wall. That's disrespectful. I was like, well, what wall am I allowed to lick

and what wall am I not allowed to lick? I didn't lick John Paul. That would have been disrespectful. Or respectful, I can't really tell. Don't lick his foot. Yeah. It was Copernicus or Confucius, I can't remember. One of them, they'd made a statue of him. And she said, do not lick don't lick his foot yeah Copernicus or Confucius I can't remember

one of them they'd made a statue of him and she said do not lick Copernicus no I did quite like but there's some fantastic things down there do you know when

it stopped being a working mine 1980 oh no 2007 I think oh it was very recent yeah very recent when I was in Krakow

slash Krakow take your pick it was for a st. Oh, it was fairly recent. Yeah, very recent. When I was in Krakow, slash Krakow, take your pick, it was for a stag weekend and it was obviously a particularly party-heavy weekend, so to say. Right, okay, okay.

And on the way back, this is awful. Hoovering up lines of salt. No, no, no, no, just boozing away. And I make it a habit to not sniff salt. Unless I need to come around from being unconscious. Yeah, exactly. I, just boozing away. And I make it a habit to not sniff salt. Unless I need to come around from being unconscious.

Yeah, exactly. I smell salts all the time. But the next morning, obviously, I can't remember the actual days, but say the final night was Sunday night, so Monday morning. On Sunday night, me and my mate Duncan were lording it up over everyone because at the time, he and I were the only ones who lived in London and we were on a different flight so we spent Sunday night

Saturday night whatever it was the final night saying to everyone oh you know Steady don't drink too much because you've got to get up at four for the flight

but we haven't our flight's at 2pm right and everyone's like yeah yeah whatever and we went to town on sort of lording it up over them no word of a lie

I remember the next morning, very early, stupid o'clock, hearing a lot of rustling, people getting out of there, because we were in like dorm rooms, because we were a lot younger. People going, I'll see you later, see you later, see you soon. I remember rolling over, having a lovely old time,

getting some more kip, and even booked myself a late checkout. Nice, okay, yeah. Anyway, me and Duncan get to the airport, easy jet flight obviously delay right okay fine

what's the delay it's going to be about three hours alright that's annoying get some dinner we were like don't tell the other boys

our flight's been delayed because they're going to hammer us right they're going to hammer us just pretend the flight was like five and we're like yeah okay fine

we'll agree to that and one of the other guys we were with was a guy called Joe who I'm friends with now but i didn't really know at the time him and he didn't really know me that really well that well it was three of us and uh flight kept getting pushed back pushed back anyway cut a long story short they finally came in and said the flight coming in has been hit by lightning and it's fine to fly but legally we can't get the sign off of the papers right it's checked over by an engineer.

Yeah. And the nearest engineer is in, like, Moscow. Yeah. Because it's EasyJet, right? And they want to cut all the corners they can, cost-wise. They can't get one in. Yeah. So the bad news is you're going to be delayed by about 24 hours.

So, and they said, don't worry, we'll put you up in a hotel. The worst hotel I've ever been in my life. It's called Hotel System. Hotel System. It was in the countryside outside Krakow. That's the annoying thing. Like, they should be next to the life. It's called Hotel System. Hotel System. It was in the countryside outside Krakow. That's the annoying thing. They should be next to the airport. That's annoying.

And it was before the time when you could get consolation, sorry, compensation. Right. Through the EU. Yeah.

So I wrote a letter to EasyJet saying, this is a joke. 25 hour delay. You didn't even get us on another flight. I mean, there was loads of flights

coming out of Poland to London and you didn't even get us on a flight. You could have put us on a bus to Warsaw, whatever. Do you know what I mean? They just didn't do any of that to London and you didn't even get us on a flight you could have put us on a bus to Warsaw whatever, do you know what I mean? They just didn't do any of that stuff and they replied saying yeah sorry

act of God, lightning strike, nothing we can do see you later. But under EU regulations now, at least until we leave I would have got some money for that wouldn't I? One of the worst flying experiences of my life Never mind Well easy as yet it got me there and back on time.

Good. Maybe even early as well. So they've got a 50% hit rate on this show. I'm sure they'd probably take that. We endorse it. Shall we head on over to emails? Emails. Let's go emails.

Emails. We'll both look after Luke. We'll both look after Luke. If he feels sad with our mum and dad. We'll both look after Luke. You're making it worse. You've got to just leave it. Do you want me to start with an email? Yes, if you would, mate. That would be awesome.

I've bolded up the ones I want to read this week. You've bolded them up? Here we go. Here's one. It's got a swear word in it. Can I say it? Is it a bad one? It's the worst swear word. Ah, sod it. All right. I don't know why I'm asking you. This is from our pal Murray James. Right. No Murray sod it. All right. All right. I don't know why I'm asking you. This is from our pal Murray James.

Right. No Murray? Of course you do. Murray is a recent dad and the baby is very cute. Yes, I agree. Lovely family they are. Good friends of ours

for a long time. Well, he's a good friend of ours for a long time. He's one of those blokes you meet in your life and you go, why are you not on the telly? You're very funny.

Pipe down. What? What? Climb out of his bottom I'm just saying he's a good guy I wish he was there

instead of you yeah give him the nod he's a good lad anyway he got in touch he said in 2005

I worked as a teacher in an international school in Bangkok all the kids were named things like Priyataporn Narottahanajathong

right I think i've done quite well pronouncing that but we're encouraged to pick their own westernized names to make things easier here are a selection of my favorites below champ champ i mean that's a great name isn't it is this is this falling on to where um i was uh when i was in kenya somebody said that they met a kid called rolex Nice. There we go. Pipe is another one. Pipe? Why would he go for Pipe?

Gun. You know, Pipe, he just went for the first thing he saw. Gun. Gun. Milk. Milk? Firm. And teacher.

Teacher? Yeah. Again, first thing you saw. Pick a name. Teacher. That's my name, dickhead. I'm going to fuck with the teacher. My name's also teacher.

And he said, no word of a lie. I'm a teacher here. No, you're not. No word of a name. Teacher. That's my name, dickhead. I'm going to fuck with the teacher. My name's also teacher. And he said, no word of a lie. I'm a teacher here. No, you're not. No word of a lie. While I was in the school, two kids were made to re-pick their names. One had plumped for Jesus. That's all right. That's a legitimate name.

Jesus. And the other had settled on cunt. Stay sexy, Murray. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Yeah, that's allowed. I mean, cuntless. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Yeah, that's allowed. I mean, cunt less so. No, that's not going to work.

Go for cunt Jesus, I think. That'll be all right. Yeah. Next email. Turn the other cheek, yeah? Next email, please. Oh, that's wonderful. Pectus excavatum. Yeah.

We talked about this a little while ago. Pigeon chest. This is a, um, is it a concave chest? I was getting mixed up. Yeah, concave chest. Yeah, a pigeon chest is, pigeon chest is when it sticks out, isn't it? And then concave chest is just, yeah, the concave one. Is it concave or convex?

Convex is a bulb, isn't it? Yeah, it's concave. It's concave, yeah. Um, dear Luke and Pete, I've been enjoying the show. Shut up. This is from Jack. Flattery will get you everywhere. Yeah.

Especially when it comes to invasive chest surgery. In a recent episode, I heard you touch on a subject literally close to my heart. Among other chest shapes, pectus excavatum, the concave one, basically.

Sounds like a spell in Harry Potter. Pectus excavatum, the concave one, basically. Sounds like a spell in Harry Potter. Pectus excavatum, yeah. As someone with this condition, I think the surgery I had to correct slash minimise it is quite interesting, but obviously I would think that since I had it, but you can decide, lads. From what I understood of the NUS procedure,

this is called the NUS procedure, presumably named after the doctor who did it the first time, a metal bar roughly matching the curvature of the chest is placed into the chest area just underneath the ribs and breastbone, you know, jammed in from incisions on either side.

So it's just a big, you know like a crossbar on a bike. You shouldn't be mucking around in there. The rib cage evolves for a reason, it's to protect the organs, right? The lungs. Not someone would peck to discover them. Yeah. Yeah.

The bar is then flipped around, pushing the breastbone outwards. Does that break the ribs? Does that kind of mess with the... No, presumably... It's like an internal brace, really, isn't it? I know nothing about this, but I do know that the surgery that was performed commonly before this NUS procedure was invented, I think was really brutal.

It was like breaking all the ribs. Yeah, breaking all the ribs. So I think this probably stays in there for quite a long time, and does it slowly, so it doesn't hurt as much. No, I think it's just pulled out. Well, no, I don't know, to be honest. Maybe it flipped around. Yeah, maybe it has flipped around slowly.

But, I mean, you'd have to do it every couple of months, wouldn't you? Because bones heal quite quickly, don't they? Well, maybe it is flipped around slowly. But I mean, you'd have to do it every couple of months, wouldn't you? Because bones heal quite quickly, don't they? Or maybe he tells us in the email. Well, the baromers have been in place

for about two years. There we go. There we go. Look at me, branching out on my own. Apparently, it's let muscle tissue grow and stabilise it

and it's then removed. It was remarkably non-invasive compared to what it sounds like, pushing your chest out with a piece of stainless steel. Yeah. I mean, you wouldn't run any other metal like, pushing your chest out with a piece of stainless steel.

Yeah. I mean, you wouldn't want any other metal in there, would you? Or a bit of copper. Does he say that when it was taken out that he got to keep it? That's a good point, actually. They can't use it again, can they? No. We've only got one.

I mean, they could. You know, they could clean it on an atomic level. There was a guy who... Do you remember that story of the guy who mysteriously sort of died on a, I think it was like a hill or a mountain in the Peak District and no one knew anything about him.

Oh, yes. And one of the ways they were able to trace and get a lead on who he was was he had a, I think it was either a metal plate put in his body at some point.

Oh, yeah. It was in Pakistan. Yeah. So they had to trace it, yeah. Fascinating. But yeah, great. I mean, like, just the idea of having your ribs pushed out,

like metal, it must have been gradual. Well, I think presumably if you have, well, two years it would take. But if you have it when you're a child, two years is a huge amount of growth, so it probably would work better if you were a child. Yeah, but then, yeah, but if you grow into, imagine how much you grow when you're a child in two years.

You'd have to choose a point of your development where you don't grow that much i would say because um you'd need to reinstall different pipes every time yeah to get up with the the capacity of your of your lungs are you still working as a surgeon well i got struck off but there's an operation that uh you get in chinese men quite get it quite a lot i mean you know in proportion to everyone else um where you can make them a bit taller. So they break their legs, and then they have these pipes, basically, that extend the bones a little bit.

I think you walk on crutches for a year, but you can gain upwards of two inches. I want more than two inches. I know, that's what I mean for that. But it just extends your bones. I am exceptionally tall already, so it's not a concern for me. Exceptionally tall? Unless Rick Edwards is in the studio.

You've heard yourself. That's good, I like that. I'd like to know if you get to keep the stainless steel bar afterwards because I was able to keep my plaster cast after I broke my wrist. And one of the funniest things, well, a bit disgusting really, but I was able to keep it and obviously it stank.

Stank, yeah. Absolutely stank. And I got bored with it after about a week and I think my mum assumed I chucked it away and I chucked it at the back of the wardrobe

and I think a couple of years later it was a bit like, what is that? So it still stank? Yeah. Because it had just so much sweat and skin cells in it. There we go.

What's the name of that email? Disgusting. I'll scroll down now. Oh, sorry, mate. Anyway, whoever it is, thank you very much for that. It's it. There we go. What's the name of that email? I'll scroll down now. Oh, sorry, mate. Anyway, whoever it is, thank you very much for that. It's fantastic. Terry? No.

That was very interesting. It was Jack. He actually says, my battery's a Pear Deer Industrial, which I don't think we've had before. I've definitely heard Pear Deer before. Pear Deer Industrial, really? I've heard Pear Deer before, yeah.

That's great. Thanks, Jack. I love it when we talk about a subject and then people get in touch with a direct experience or a direct link to that subject. And on that note, this is possibly coming up now. One of my favorite emails so far. This is from Jonathan Dawes.

And he says, Hi, guys. I just wanted to let you know the dinosaur supervisor in Jurassic Park is Phil Tippett. Now, a couple of weeks ago, probably around over Christmas time, maybe a bit before that, we talked about that funny thing on,

do people still say things go viral on the internet? Well, yeah, I guess so. Okay, so that happened anyway, this thing, and it was the end credits of Jurassic Park and it said,

dinosaur supervisor Phil Tippett. And someone put a comment saying, Phil, you should have been supervising the dinosaurs. They went out of control. People died. They were raptors in the kitchen, Phil. Yeah, all that stuff a comment saying, Phil, you should have been supervising the dinosaurs. They went out of control. People died. They were raptors in the kitchen, Phil. Yeah, all that stuff, right?

And it was very funny. Anyway, according to Jonathan Dawes, as he says, the dinosaur supervisor in Jurassic Park is Phil Tippett. He's quite a big name in the movie industry, having played a big part in the Star Wars movies, Jurassic Park and Robocop, among others.

I know about this and have a lot of information on the guy because he is my great uncle. Oh, wow. Yeah. Cool. He created a method of stop motion called Go Motion, which was used to animate the Atat Walkers

during the Battle of Hoth in Star Wars. I wonder how that differed from usual stop motion animation, Wallace and Gromit style. Perhaps Jonathan could tell us. Maybe we could get in touch with Phil. Fantastic that we've got the great nephew of the dinosaur supervisor from Jurassic Park on the show.

And if you Google Phil Tippett, he's an Academy Award winner, by the way. He should be. So full credit to him. Those at-ats were brilliant. His beard is one of the best beards I've ever seen in my life. It is a majestic, huge, silver forest of a beard.

Two words for you, Luke. Stop motion. It's a stop motion beard. It might be. Do you want to see a picture of it? I'd like to see it in motion. Look at that. That's love.

That's tidy. That's Santa-esque. It's everything you want in a beard. That's full. Full beard. Beautiful. Thank you for that, Phil Tippett's nephew. Jonathan, you should sign everything off saying,

I am Phil Tippett's great nephew. There was a guy who listens to The Ramble, and he's a kid, and The Football Ramble, another podcast we do, me and Luke, and he is Russ Abbott's grandson. Oh, yeah, I remember that. Which is lovely. It's a lovely moment.

Lovely stuff. Big fan of Russ. Pete M. Hello, Pete M. Enjoying the show? Shut up. Off the back of your discussion about interesting African names, I should have said this earlier on,

about interesting African names, you might want to pick up with your listeners people who share the same birthday as you. While doing some research about my own birthday, I found out that on the 29th of July, 1991, my birthday, the delightfully named African footballer Yaya Banana was born. Just an idea.

I did this, Pete. The day I was born, 30th April, Peter Sutcliffe admitted to the manslaughter of 13 women. So how was that feature working out for you, PM? I've also had a look at that. And the only thing I could find for my birthday was in 1971, having weakened after making landfall in Nicaragua, Hurricane Irene regained enough strength to be renamed Hurricane Olivia, making it the first known hurricane to cross from the Atlantic Ocean into the Pacific. People don't talk about Nicaragua anymore.

What's going on, Nicaragua? Yeah, what is happening? I've got... Can we squeeze in, do you think, even at this time of year, another Christmas ruin story? I think so. Just a quick, just a final one. Just to hold us

off until Christmas. Because I really want to because it's a very, very good story. Although I think I might not have taken the guy's name.

So listen, if you hear this and you're listening, you know who you are. I apologise. It's poor admin by me. Some of these stories deserve to be anonymised.

Yeah, maybe he'll be thankful to not have his name on it. And normally... I think that's the first time I've ever used the word anonymised. Sorry, guys. Is that an actual word? Just drink that in. Yeah. I think that's the first time I've ever used the word anonymised. Sorry, guys.

Is that an actual word? Just drink that in. Yeah, I think it is. It's a good one. Poor admin is normally in the Donaldson wheelhouse, isn't it? But it's in this wheelhouse today, sadly. It must be contagious. Right.

G'day, lads. Upon hearing your last week's Christmas ruin story, I thought I'd add my tale. I'm originally from Newcastle, but now live down south. As such, I regularly drive back on Christmas morning so that we can enjoy breakfast with my wife's family and therefore tick two boxes. Oh, nice. Yeah, so

as breakfast down there, it gets in the car. A few years ago, we met some friends for a few beers in town on Christmas Eve. I can tell you nothing about what happened as the night is a complete blank. I woke up to the worst hangover of my life and a very unhappy wife. We've all done that. After surveying the situation, I decided

that a drive to Newcastle was not on the card and that I'd in fact be happiest on my own this Christmas day. It's a bit of a schlepping at London and Newcastle. Four or five hours, something like that? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Bombing it. He decided that he'd be happiest on his own this year at Christmas.

He said, I called my mam, and upon hearing the news, she instantly burst into tears and screamed, you're just like your brother, who, it turns out, had only minutes early and made the exact same call. My mam, who woke up excited to see us on Christmas Day, had learned in the space of 10 minutes that she would, in fact, be spending Christmas on her own. I now feel like the biggest shit alive and gave myself a few hours to come round before setting off with two flasks of tea,

one with sugar, one without, and a packet of jam sandwiches. Before you ask why, it was always... I am Paddington Bear. That's marmalade. Still a preserve, isn't it? Before you ask why, it was all we had in the flat as we weren't expecting to spend any time at home.

Needless to say, I was very late for dinner and ma was not in the usual spirit of christmas cheer to top it off the following year i set off on christmas morning with a clear head only for the car to break down an hour into the journey another unexpected call to my mum eventually i made it home over five hours late for dinner and with a huge tow bill from the rac as i didn't dare return home for dinner with the in-laws after last year. Merry Christmas, Ma. I mean, what I would say is this. He made a pretty gargantuan effort to get to where he needed to be.

After being told to? Well, no, not being... Well, yeah, he didn't have to. There's nothing worse than having to do anything on a big old hangover. When we went to Krakow, the lad Alex I went with, he got pissed the night before

and didn't turn up for his flight at 10 in the morning. So he had to change in Warsaw. He had to get an emergency flight on, you know, when everybody else was travelling, and he had to change in Warsaw. So that'll teach him. I feel like you and your friends do that a lot. Yeah.

Well, you know. That's a terrible way. Life's too short for admin, mate. It's terrible prep for a... Terrible prep. When I spoke earlier about going to Krakow, I can remember, again, obviously I flew from London, Terrible way. Life's too short for admin, mate. It's terrible prep for a... Terrible prep. When I spoke earlier about going to Krakow, I can remember again,

obviously I flew from London, but when my mates flew out from wherever they flew out from, they all stayed around one of their houses the night before and got really drunk and stayed up all night. The night before a stag weekend. Yeah, that's silly. Terrible.

That is foolish. Terrible behaviour. I stress out about how much sleep I'm having and stuff. Like for the Krakow trip, I was like like I can either go to the airport early or I could sleep in Gatwick

there's a Your Sushi the people from Your Sushi made a hotel called The Yourtel and yeah basically have you been there? yes I've stayed there a couple of times really it's quite nice they give you a little can you check in the night before so you just got to roll in there

you can have a couple of hours or you can have a check in the night before so you just got to roll in there? You can have a couple of hours or you can have a check in the night before. You can do whatever. It's very free but it's like a little kind of boutique kind of.

It's kind of modelled on a Japanese kind of capsule hotel but you get your own shower and toilet and stuff so. Right. Because you're not

quite there yet. No. Right okay. Sleeping in tubes. And you've only ever missed one flight right? I've only ever missed one flight.

But on the sort of not being able to sleep because you're stressed. And you've only ever missed one flight, right? I've only ever missed one flight. But on the sort of not being able to sleep because you're stressed because what you've got to do the next day, that happens to everyone, doesn't it? I find it particularly,

normally I... It's completely counterintuitive, doesn't it? You worry about the thing you've got to do tomorrow so much so that you ruin the thing you've got to do tomorrow because you don't get enough sleep.

I've done that before. I did a job for a video game company advertising the video game Final Fantasy XV last year, a couple of years ago now, I guess. And I'd just got back from Japan. I hadn't just got back from Japan. It was like three weeks. I just hadn't got my head around the whole jet lag thing.

I hadn't, you know, and I knew I was going to get very little sleep. So I had a couple of sleeping tablets the night before. Got to sleep, fine. Woke up and just did a job that I just got so stressed out about not getting enough sleep right throughout the day. Then when it actually came to show time, everything was fine pretty much.

I found that when I'm very, very tired, I have one thing that I say and I say, goodness me. Right, okay. And I think I had 10 links to do, live, being broadcast in cinemas right throughout Europe. It's a big deal. And after every clip, I went, goodness me! And a couple of people picked up on the fact that every time I came on the screen,

I was going, goodness me! It's just because I'm so tired. It's my go-to kind of thing that helps me think. I think you might have mentioned something like that before. Goodness me! So you're saying if you're doing something on, say, this Saturday, and you're nervous about it, or you've got to start early, or all those things,

your anxiety towards it will start on, like, Friday morning. Yeah, or Friday evening when I'm just about to go to bed. I'm like, right. And then what I'll do is I'll have dreams about me doing the job. I'm just always out of my comfort zone. That's the problem. I'm never confident about anything that I do. I can't find my comfort zone.

I've had so many dreams about doing like the football ramble or this show you know just where the mics haven't worked or something like that

it's all my fault yeah that says a lot about your subconscious probably very guilty I find that I'm much more relaxed about things these days

I don't get too I've got a lot better yeah and I guess the earliest start I do would be when I sometimes do the breakfast

show newspapers on a radio station and so you have to really i mean you can push it the thing about it is you can push it as much as you want i mean i don't really care but the more you push the time back the less time you've got to prepare yeah and you need to know most all the newspapers so so like for me i the slot is about it starts about quarter to seven right and i get the car they send the car for you because it's hard to get in at that time of the month um the car comes for you at like five for me about 5 40 right which means i can push getting up to about 5 30 and just have a quick shower get clothes on but it's almost it's almost counterintuitive to leave it to the last minute you don't you'd almost be probably better off getting up at five

having a cup of tea you know getting ready for like being awake and it's miserable but it's almost better to be like completely awake rather than just kind of rolling in and going i know you mean but i used to get really anxious about that because not because i was nervous about doing it but because i thought i'm not going to get any sleep at all and there was a period of time when we were doing another show we were doing until like 9 p.m yeah so i wouldn't start till 9 p.m so i wouldn't get back till gone midnight and i'll be up again at five to have a couple so i just end up pushing about the half five but the point i was just going to make is that it's essentially anything before that like the guys who do the breakfast show at radio station every every day they'll have like three

o'clock starts that's essentially like working nights, which is really bad for you anyway, as we've talked about, reference your dad who likes to do it voluntarily. But yeah, it's a weird thing.

You slowly go mad. I mean, I was on the breakfast show for, oh God, four years I think on Radio Station and that, I think that kind of,

I'd always have a sleep in the afternoon if I could, but yeah, anything like that. Trying to do admin, you just have no appetite for it

I have no appetite for the best of times but doing any kind of thing that requires any kind of organisation it's just it's ruinous

absolutely ruinous but I don't think that's the deal with the time you've got I've got one more email here alright fittingly

it's about crap jobs hey and it's from Martin hello Martin hello to you Martin you alright mate he says how do you compete batteries green cell It's about crap jobs. Hey. And it's from Martin. Hello, Martin. Hello to you, Martin. You all right, mate?

He says, how do you compete? Batteries, green cell. Green cell. Solid. Yeah, solid. I can't wait for a new couple of players to enter the game. We keep getting them. And it's great to know what they are.

But green cell, yeah, fairly standard. He says, I would like to tell you about my terrible job as a form of free therapy. Back in the 90s, as a student, I worked in a sandwich factory in Corby. Corby. Northamptonshire. Home of Capdown, the punk band. Right. Corby Punks. Anyone else from there that you can think of? Jesse James, maybe? No.

I think I'm just grouping them together in my punk rock head. There's an addendum to this email which I'll read now. Maybe ask Pete about Corby, says Martin. A small village in Northamptonshire that imported an entire town's worth of Glaswegians to work in the steelworks. Is that true? Brilliant. The children of these inhabitants born in Northamptonshire even grew up with Scottish accents and it was quite a punchy town as you'd possibly expect. It still has a Scottish aisle in Asda for your premium strength beers,

iron brew, tea cakes and square sausages. I love a lawn sausage. Fantastic. I do like it when supermarkets have to, not diversify, but specialise in different areas. If you're going out to Tesco's in Brixton or something, they'll have a kind of West Indian food and stuff like that. It's fascinating that they've got a one-size-fits-all kind of West Indian food and stuff like that and it's like it's fascinating that they have to they've got a one size fits all

kind of approach to everything but in some places just to make a couple more quid they diversify a little bit and in Sainsbury's and Streatham Common there's a massive back wall

full of world food it's brilliant you can get anything you want so I was a big fan of bigger juice back in the day which I think might be Jamaican and it's this

this juice that almost gave me diabetes, I think. It's the sugariest pop. Kind of like a... What was it that gave you diabetes in the end? An evil pixie. An evil pixie did it. Anyway, so Martha says, yeah, we worked in the sandwich factory in Corby where, he says,

where my simple task was to top and tail celery. So far, so good. So like chop the head off chop the bottom yeah off right but as the sas will tell you the best torture is a simple action that is repeated endlessly so i did this for 12 bloody hours a night oh good lord to compound the goodness me yeah we should have a goodness me section on the show peace goodness me of the week. To compound the mental stress, a clock was placed in front of me, which seemed to have a second hand that hovered before each tick.

I think the factory were also afraid this task would become too zen, so they played Radio 1 at full blast through a broken tannoy. This was in the days before 24-hour radio content, so the songs and news were simply a looped recording every hour the same songs in the same order hour after hour i could date this experience directly if i could be

bothered as the flintstones theme was in the charts and like a clarion call to the idiotic the factory would erupt in a raucous rendition every single fucking time that song came on there we go hey you having that i I'm fairly certain that there was a pretty big sandwich factory near where I grew up. I never worked in it but I imagine it was

fairly similar. When we were talking, was it last week, we were talking about robots and AI and stuff. The jobs you were talking about then, so the topping and

tailing of celery, that almost certainly must be done by a robot. And also, I saw like a brilliant machine that could very, very quickly, on a conveyor belt, absolutely chucking tomatoes down the conveyor belt, could flick individual, I don't know how many computational iterations

every second they had to figure out. Mathematic decisions they have to make every single hour, every single second. You couldn't even make one decision there. I know, right? Yeah, and they could flick individual coloured tomatoes, different brands I think, or different ripeness anyway,

different tomatoes of different colours, and they could spot ones that weren't this kind of particular hue of red, and green ones, and yellow ones, and just flick them down. Maybe peppers, maybe. But they could sort them so well. A reasonably interesting show. I can't remember what it's called. It's presented by the horrific Greg Wallace, who I don't generally like.

But on this show, he's good. And he goes and looks into how things are made and how food is manufactured. It's actually very fascinating. Very fascinating. And one of the things you just talked about there reminds me of that, I don't know if they still do it,

but I'm fairly certain as well that the way that McDonald's make their fries is they fire an absolutely huge amount of potatoes at what is essentially a giant razor-sharp

tennis racket. Yeah, yeah, okay. Over and over again. Yeah. Like a thousand potatoes that hit the tennis racket and go through it at, yeah, okay. Over and over again. Yeah. Like a thousand potatoes that hit the tennis racket and go through it at one time. Nice.

Over and over again. It just creates perfect fries every time. Fantastic. That's cool, isn't it? I would like to see that in action. Yeah, I would. It's talked about quite extensively

in the book Fast Food Nation, written by Eric Schlosser, maybe, off the top of my head. Very interesting, worth reading. Quite old now, maybe 15 years old that book I'm sure a lot of their

practices have changed since then they probably have anyway they probably haven't to be honest they've been running for a very long time shall we get out of here

we'll do a bit of Men Carter next week you don't want to do any Men Carter do you want to do a bit of quick Men Carter we'll bash out a quick Men Carter

have you got one I've got one yeah it's nominated by Chewy oh yeah I like this one do this one it's great it's horrific thank um chewy oh yeah i like this one do this one it's great yeah it's great yeah it's horrific uh thank you chewy uh hello guys obviously everyone heard has heard of uh chernobyl but not too many uh nor the exact horrors of it and there is a reddit thread

showing the elephant's foot now this is something we saw this email we're like this has to go in at some point because yeah this elephant's foot the picture of it, and the fact that the picture even got taken is incredible. The so-called elephant's foot is a solid mass made of melted nuclear fuel mixed with lots and lots of concrete, sand, and core sealing material that the fuel had melted through. Yeah, I think the technical term for it is corium, isn't it? Yeah, okay. It's located in a basement area under the original location of the car. In 1986, the radiation level on the elephant's foot was measured at 10,000 roentgens per hour,

and anyone who approached would have received a fatal dose in under a minute. After just 30 seconds of exposure, dizziness and fatigue will find you a week later. Two minutes of exposure, and the body cells will begin to hemorrhage. Four minutes vomiting, diarrhoea, fever. At 300 seconds you have two days to live. I mean this thing is, it looks they call it elephant's foot because it looks

like a kind of, yeah. It looks like death. It looks like the bleakest thing I've ever seen. I know, I think it looks rather a nut. And that's the scary thing, isn't it? That's the thing about nuclear waste. You expect it to be bright green and glowing. I think it just looks quite inert and quite kind of like...

In a horrible way. Yeah. Well, that's what I mean. That's the whole thing about radiation. It does look like an elephant's foot, and hence the name, but just for the record, so people know exactly what we're talking about,

I did a bit of research around this, and the technical term for it is corium, and it's described as the lava-like mixture of fissile material created in a nuclear reactor's core during a nuclear meltdown. So it's essentially all the bad shit that comes out of a nuclear meltdown. Yeah, and also in this case, you know, it's mixed in with all of the stuff that was there to protect the core from exploding, and also the sealant that they've put in afterwards, I think.

But how did they take the photo? That's the question I've got. What do you mean, on film? Yeah. I think it was done with a mirror. I think that was the deal. So they have to stay a safe distance away and take it into a mirror, basically, to show a mirror of it. Yeah, I think, yeah.

Because otherwise the film would completely disintegrate, wouldn't it? Yeah, but I mean, I guess nowadays they could just pile a robot in there and do it digitally. But either way, it's a dreadful piece of work.

And one of the fascinating things about it, I suppose, is the courage and the bravery of the men and women who had to go in there and essentially make it safe. Because didn't it happen, didn't the first responders to this um disaster at chernobyl didn't have any safety equipment or anything they were no they were like firemen well the firemen yeah they were

just they were just you know um getting rid of the the effects effectively you know the bitumen roofs on fire and stuff like that they were just firing water into it and uh And, I mean, it got rid of the fires, but I mean... And they all paid with their lives, basically. They all paid with their lives, yeah. It was like... He's put a couple down here, actually. Anatoly Zakharov. He'd been stationed at Chernobyl since May 1980.

It had been an uneventful six years, but Zakharov had seen Reactor 4 being built from the inside out. So when he parked his fire engine beside the burning wreckage of the building and saw the chunks of graphite scattered across the asphalt, he knew there was only place it could have come from.

So the hot debris from the exploding reactor set fire to all the roofs and basically the blaze was going to spread. But luckily Lieutenant Pravik, the commander, took officers... Ignitenko,

Mr. Ignitenko and the others and climbed a ladder to the roof to fight the fire. And it was the last time Zakharov ever saw any of them. So they all perished, unfortunately. But just the levels of radiation is just worse than ground zero at Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Because the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombs would have exploded several thousand feet above the surface of the Earth, right? Yeah. Well, several feet, I'd say. I thought it was like a couple of thousand.

No, I don't think it was that high. Okay, right. Anyway, there was no one there to see it, really. I think it happens happens apart from the actual explosions themselves. I think the actual radiation in the first moments of it actually exploding only affects

two or three seconds of the actual explosion itself. And then afterwards it's just everything. Of course there are people there to see it, but you know what I mean? Someone wasn't going to walk up to it. That's what I mean. So yeah, incredible. That picture i i know i sort of differ slightly from you pete on on on what i feel when i see that photo i feel it looks like the most sinister possibly because it is quite benign in in in in in look but the most sinister horrific bleak just

death image I've ever really seen it's awful it's hard to explain my dad worked at chemical plants I'm used to chemical plants looking

you know the amount of times my dad would come on with a terran asthma attack because he'd inhaled tetra I'm not comparing him

to a first responder at Chernobyl I'm just saying that chemical works can look a bit depressing at times. And also, don't forget the Fukushima thing that happened like five, ten years ago as well.

Get this. Zakharov heard that the radiation had been so intense, the colour of Pravik, one of the first responders, his eyes had turned from brown to blue. Isn't that incredible? Tidonok sustained some severe

internal radiation burns. There were blisters on his heart. Wow. Incredible. Their bodies were so radioactive, they were buried in coffins made of lead. The lids welded shut. Yeah, okay.

Gives you an idea of the scale of it. When they're showing it, me not being able to pronounce a man's name and the elephant's foot. I mean, he's showing amazing courage and bravery there, and you've not even given him the basic level of respect to pronounce a man's name and the elephant's foot. I mean, he's shown amazing courage and bravery there and you've not even given him the basic level of respect to pronounce his name properly. Well, he's getting in the show.

True. Getting tired. Oh, he's had a hard day. We've been in here for two hours. Right, let's get over here, Luke. Thank you for joining us once again. And we live for your emails. We literally can't do this without you.

So get involved. Hello at LukeandPpeachshort.com it's as simple and unalloyed as that and do leave us a review on the iTunes or wherever you get your pods we love

reading your emails we share them all the time on whatsapp we do along with me sort of generally chivvying peter long making sure he's on time

making sure he hasn't got the general time of the day wrong and reminding him of the address of the studio yeah which has been here for some time now

shut up shut your fat mouth. We'll see you on the 34th. Yeah. Episode 34. All right. Outro Music