The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 73: Father censorship

Episode Date: June 18, 2018

The chaps are back, and on your particularly chaotic latest edition of The Luke and Pete Show, we have a truly eclectic range of topics to discuss. There's Fathers4Justice, more Anthony Bourdain chat, craft ale, more intellectual property theft from our listeners, and a revisiting of the white-hot National Treasures debate.And if that wasn't enough, we also find time to chat about two of the UK's specialist subjects: anxiety and uncool musicians. What ho!To join us in this horrific journey: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So come back in from Homer Simpson, mate. Okay, cool. Oh, for fuck's sake! Fucking hell! Fucking hell! That is so good! That is so good! Willkommen der Luke and Pete show.

Kommt bitte und listen to the Luke and Pete show. How are you, Luke Moore? Bloody well, thanks, Peter. How are you, sir? I'm good. That noise you heard before the show started was me getting nude. Yeah, we were having a discussion. Let's not sugarcoat this, Peter. We were having a discussion about testicles. We were. And off air.

Yeah. And I had to go out of the studio to go and let our colleague Sam in the office. And when I came back in, I sat down in my chair, looked around for my headphones, looked up, and Pete Donaldson had taken the 15 seconds it took me to get Sam in to get completely Billy Bollocks naked. What I would say, it was distressing for me to see it. To smell it. But the execution of the stunt was, it would be up there with,

it was Fathers for Justice-esque. It was one of my... And exactly the sort of thing Fathers for Justice would do as well. It was one of my better ones. And the thing that really made me howl with giggles was that you were in the room, you were in the studio for a full ten seconds before you noticed. Yeah.

You'd done a full lap. You hadn't looked at me. And that upsets me because you clearly don't look into my eyes. Don't be upset because that's a good example of how self-obsessed I really am. I don't know what my eyes. Don't be upset because that's a good example of how self-obsessed I really am. I don't know if that's what anyone else is doing. Because before the show, we were talking about a recent appearance by a Fathers for Justice man. Yeah. And he did something not really similar.

He was a man on Good Morning Britain with Kate Garraway. Garraway? Galloway. Garraway. Garraway. And basically, he was talking about how Father's Day should be abolished because some fathers can't see their kids, obviously a very difficult and emotionally pressing situation.

But he chose to basically not make that point so much as whinge at the fact he was put in a worse green room than everyone else. Yeah. For obvious reasons, which we come into later on, because he says, right, I'm going to get my balls out. And everyone goes, oh, no. And they close in on a shot so you can't see him. And he pulls out these two little ping pong balls

covered in some kind of wool and throws them on the table and goes, they're my balls. It was a confusing protest, as many of them are. A confusing stunt, I would say. A confusing stunt. I'm going to get my balls out now and it is a legitimate issue right

the idea being that the courts hugely my limited knowledge of it the courts usually favour the mother and all that other stuff

for I'm sure a lot of legitimate reasons it's got a lot it's got a lot better and it's one of the reasons why I've never met my half brother oh is that right

yep but as the father of many children, Peter, you presumably... They want me to... They want to see me. I'm fun.

I'm naked. I'm fun and naked. Yeah, and those two things often do go hand in hand. I had something to bring to the table today, which is

obviously unlike me. But, you know, a while back, so that theme tune you heard at the start of the show is Doc Brown's tune I Got This, you can check out his record I haven't seen Ben for ages

but you know we had a debate about what he's actually saying and we were talking about I got this so I went back and listened to the song again to remind myself and he's saying I got this from here oh I got Right. And he's saying, I got this from here. Oh, I got this from here.

Yeah. As he's saying, leave it to me. I've got it from here. Oh, I thought he's in like a newsagent. And the woman's not sure whether to charge you for a bottle of water that you brought in yourself. No, I got this. I got this from here. No, I got this from here.

No, it wouldn't be that. It would be that I got this from there. I got this volvic summer fruit from here. I always get it. That's a really good... British anxiety. Yeah, I get, that's a really good British anxiety. Yeah, I get like that.

Yeah. So if I, even though I'm now 37 years old, if my wife and I are out walking around or doing something and I've bought

a bottle of water and then we have to go to another shop, it always crosses my mind. I always, I almost sort of wave it at the security guard. I brought this in.

Yeah. Brought this in. I think he gives a toss. Yeah, security guards in London don't care. I'm always fast-forwarding in my mind to a situation where I'm sat in a CCTV room and going, look, I told you.

You can see me walking with it. I kind of want that moment, though. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I see a lot of shoplifting in central London. Just, you know, people down there, look, just, you know, getting a bottle of Lambrini and legging it

out of the store. It's actually quite thrilling to watch. Oh! Oh! Crime! Crime's happening! There's regularly a...

I live in an area of London called West Nord which is nice but I think it used to be quite a bit rougher than it is now. Right. And you still

occasionally get people behaving in a weird way. Or basically I'm going to use the word criminals. And... Criminals? People behaving in a weird way. Or basically, I'm going to use the word, criminals. Criminals? People behaving in a weird way. And there's security guards in all the little mini supermarkets, and sometimes you do see a good old dust-up.

I actually almost saw a dust-up on the tube yesterday. All right. I don't know how it happened, but an older guy was having a proper row with a younger guy. And do you know how I know it was a proper thing and not joking around? Because pretty much everyone in that part of the carriage got up and walked, like, legged it. And they properly got, like, it was like some sort of incident.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the thing that brought my attention to it was people coming past me in the middle of a tunnel, not at a station. That's how that fake terrorist attack happened. Remember that one in not Phoenix God the department store in Knoxville

Selfridges yeah in Selfridges and what's his name got involved he got he was tweeting saying Olly Murs

Olly Murs he got a bit carried away didn't he he got a bit carried away I don't mind Olly Murs but then he no I don't either good entertainer

good entertainer old fashioned entertainer great footballer he and they doubled down and said, well, you know, he might have been covered up. Yeah. Yeah, Oli, come on.

Come on now, mate. Yeah. Come on. Don't be silly. Recently on the Luke and Pete show, Peter, let's give people a little quick update. This is episode 73, of course, and you are very welcome to get in touch with the show

and contribute what we would say. This is not false modesty. We definitely believe this. The best content comes from the listeners. We even use words like content. That's how podcasty we are. But the best information, the best stuff comes from listeners. So hello at lukeandpeatshow.com to get in touch.

Talk to us about anything you want. Get it off your chest. And here's some examples of stuff we talked about recently if you're new to the show. Pete went on a bit of a rant last time around about compressed air conspiracy theories, the great compressed air v jet fuel debate, one of the great debates of our time.

Disney rides gone wrong. That's a lawsuit. Oh, that was dreadful. There were some dreadful stories. A boy wet himself on stage at school. Better story. Yeah, and lots of intellectual property theft. That's been going on for ages, that, on the show, isn't it?

I love a bit of IP stuff. People ripping off their favourite songs, poems, films, TV shows to get a variety of grades in English exams. So that's the sort of stuff we like. Peter, apart from your new role as press officer for Fathers for Justice, what's been floating your boat recently? I actually quite enjoyed, because we talked about politics

a little bit last week, I actually quite enjoyed Is My Captain playing on Twitter. He sent me a, you know how I have a strong feeling about people who fetishise food and drink and stuff like that? Yeah.

And Anthony Bourdain, who obviously passed away and we spoke about him last week, he sent a beautiful description of why Anthony Bourdain, who obviously passed away and we spoke about him last week, sent a beautiful description of why Anthony Bourdain doesn't like pubs or bars where people just go to, you know, just look at their bottles and drink their coffee. Read it, read it, read it, read it, read it. Because I've read it as well and I've got a few comments to make on it.

Okay. So the interview, he's basically saying, I read somewhere that based on some drinking on the shore, you were getting flamed online by beer snobs. Does that happen often? Bourdain said, a lot. I would say that the angriest critiques I get from people about shores are when I'm drinking whatever convenient cold beer is available

in a particular place and not drinking the best beer out there. You know, I haven't made the effort to walk down the street 10 blocks to the microbrewery where they're making some Mumford and Sons IPA. People get bent about it, but look, I like cold beer. I like to have a good time. I don't like to talk about beer. I don't like to talk about wine. I like to drink beer. If you bring me a really

good one, a good craft beer, I will enjoy it and say so, but I'm not going to analyse it. And he's just basically talking about his experience in San Francisco. He's desperate for a beer. He walked into a place and he thought it was like an old bar. As he sat down, he looked up and he noticed that there was a wide selection of beers he'd never heard of, which is fine. Okay, I'm in some sort of

brew pub. What's good? I looked around and the entire place was filled with people sitting there with five small glasses in front of them, filled with different beers, taking notes. This is not a bar. This is a fucking invasion of the body snatchers. This is wrong. This is not what a bar is about. A bar is to go to get a little bit buzzed, pleasantly derange the senses

and have a good time and interact with other people or make bad decisions or feel bad about your life. It's not to sit there and fucking analyse beer. It's antithetical. Which I think sums up way better than I would ever would. I love beer. I love craft beer. I like drinking craft beer.

I've recently turned to an IPA man because, to be quite frank, I can't keep drinking fizzy lager. It upsets my stomach. I do understand. It's quite a nice pithy quote from Bourdain that's interesting. And he obviously is almost like that anti-guy,

if you know what I mean, that sort of, what would you call it, iconoclastic type way of living your life with food. I would say, look, just let people have a good time you know i feel like i like a different beer i like to try different beers and that kind of stuff i don't feel the need to sort of write notes about it or write a blog about it or tell other people what they should be doing and i think that's where the line's got to be drawn but if you if you say to me what you have in and i say i quite like to try that beer there. That's fine.

I have no problem with that. But when we sit down, and I want to tell you about the beer, the problem is, Donaldson, is you don't want to hear it. You don't want to listen. That's just what Sonic is. That's very much between me and you,

and what I want to hear coming out of your mouth. And our internet service providers. But yeah, God rest him, Anthony Bourdain. Would you argue that he is essentially doing with food, or he was doing with food, though, what he's talking about people doing with drink there? What do you mean? Presumably that attitude he's got towards beer and wine there,

but particularly beer. He does that with food, doesn't he? But isn't that why he was interesting, though? Because he didn't. He didn't talk about ingredients. He travelled the place and he spoke to people there. And half the show wasn't even about the booze or the food. It was just about meeting the people.

It's incredible. But it didn't go much further than that, really. He didn't go round and get all... I don't know enough about him, and this might be a terrible comparison, but I made it last week and no one pulled me up on it, so I'll make it again. Perhaps like a bit of an American Rick Stein type guy. Rick Stein's a lot more gentle and a lot more

sort of, you know, I suppose pleasant and easy, slow-paced when compared to the sort of more brash Anthony Have you ever watched much Keith Fly from back in the day? Yeah, it's class. He was brilliant. He was brilliant.

He was just a boozy man. Yeah. There are occasions where he is essentially standing in the middle of like a paddy field, like with a little burner, screaming at his assistant behind the camera to do different stuff, screaming at the cameraman, really pissed.

And I'm thinking, this is great TV. This is revolutionised TV really in that area but that food does not taste very good there's one he'll be like oh bit of red

fondant pan bit of red fondant Keith yeah oh we're out of red but you can make this recipe without red wine there's one where

just spit just make it with spit there's one episode where he's out on the mudflats with some guy who basically grabs, I don't know, mudskippers or little fish from the mudflats. Right, okay, yeah.

And they just sit there, both, covered in mud. There's a little fire over some stones, and he's just cooking these mudskippers and going, oh, yeah, they're really tasty. Just drinking wine. That's not going to be that tasty. Everything's tasty if you've got a bit of wine in your belly. As Anthony Bourdain,

God rest him famously, said. I might do one with like frozen, I might do a cooking show with frozen sausages. No cooking involved. Just travel around the world eating frozen sausages

and getting ale. Cooking not included. Just getting, oh, the charcoal I've pumped into my stomach to pump my stomach really sets off the rotten meat.

Charcoal. That's what they do to pump the stomach. I know, that's what Keith Floyd used to put in his food. I do love him though. I feel like I'm about to besmirch him. One, because he's passed away and you shouldn't speak ill of the dead unless absolutely necessary. And two, because clearly

he's a legend in the game, but I'm looking at some of that food and thinking, come on. National treasure? Oh yeah. Yeah? But you've got to be alive to be a national treasure, no? No, no, no, it's better because you can't commit any crimes. But then you can't go back. If you're doing for dead people, you can go all the way back to the start of time and it makes it a bit difficult.

Oh, no. But, I mean, National Treasure is a very modern thing. It kind of like... What's your cut-off? 1900? Yeah. All right. Write it down.

Write the edit point down. Write that. Right, we'll be back with Write the edit point down. Write that. Right, we'll be back with probably more National Treasure stuff and your emails. Hey, y'all, it's Farmer Meemaw. And today I'm going to show you what I've been doing to take care of the pantry moth situation. I can't remember why I did that, but then she said moth,

and I was like, oh, we spoke about moths. A while ago. Good thing is, if you talk about moths, I'll do a jingle about it in six months' time. You said you wanted jingles, and I was like, oh, we spoke about moths. A while ago. Good thing is, if you talk about moths, I'll do a jingle about it in six months' time. You said you wanted jingies, and I was like, oh, I need to get some jingies together. But pantry moth.

She was getting rid of pantry moth. Our situation with jingles is incredible. One, because I can't do them. Two, because you never get around to doing them. And three, when we do do them, we hardly ever use them. I just realised we were supposed to have a recently on Luke and Pete show thing for my round-up of the week show before, but we forgot to do that as well. I made it, but

the problem is I've labelled them Luke and Pete production one, two, three to seven. It's not helpful, is it? It's one of them. It's not helpful. Anyway, we've made it to the email section now, so let's all be happy about that. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com if you want to get in touch. The lifeblood of the show, Pete. The elixir

of this show. I'm sure you would agree. The juice. The juice. The mana. The juice. The craft ale. The IPA. Friend of mine, actually, speaking of that. Friend of mine, Jimmy. Well, my oldest friend. Probably my best friend ever. How old is he? He's 400.

Cool. Yeah. No, he's the same age as me. Jesus is my best friend so he's ancient and rightly so yeah died at 33 didn't he Jesus

yeah we know about your knowledge of the Jesus the Jesus story yeah just like Kirk and Ben yeah yeah sort of

my mate Jimmy's been waxing lyrical this is for the craft beer fans out there who are into it he's been waxing lyrical holler holler at your boy he's been waxing lyrical my mate Jimmy's been waxing lyrical. This is for the craft beer fans out there who are into it. He's been waxing lyrical. Holla. Holla at your boy. He's been waxing lyrical, my mate Jimmy, about a Kerala stout.

K-E-R-A-L-A. South of India. It's flavoured with... Kerala? Yeah. Is it Kerala? It is Kerala, yeah. Okay.

Flavoured with all these different types of spices and curry type. I've never tried it. To me, it sounds fucking disgusting, but he thinks it's amazing. I bought a really... Oh, God, we're doing craft beer. Everything've never tried it. To me, it sounds fucking disgusting, but he thinks it's amazing. I bought a really... Oh, God, we're doing a cocktail. Everything you hate, brother. I bought, when I was in Roppongi, Brewdog. But the thing is, I should be into it.

I mean, again, I like drinking it. For crying out loud, we're sponsored by B52. But I love drinking it, but the actual, I should be into it because there's all, there's so many different kinds. And I'm a man who loves novelty. Candy,

food, I will eat anything and I'll drink anything and I'll drink the colour, the most colourful can, but I don't necessarily know what's in that can. You're also quite pretentious.

No, I don't think I am. And that's for me to decide. Do you remember that can of Korean soft drink you got me once when we were up in Manchester doing a live show and it had little sort of almost, I would describe like grape-flavoured jelly sweets in it. I think it was, there's two kinds of those drinks.

They're kind of, you can either have like the chunks of aloe, a kind of aloe for the, or aloe jelly, or just sliced up grapes. Oh, it is actual grapes. Because they sell them at Jinju as well, a Korean restaurant in town. But that was good. Anyway,

I was saying I spent 15 pounds on a drink once in Japan because it came in, it was a can of stout. Like, it was a porterhouse. Is that a stout?

A porter. Porter. It's called a porter. Porterhouse is a steak. Like a really expensive, a really expensive can. But it was like 15 quid. But porterhouse is a steak. Like a really expensive can. But it was like 15 quid. But it came in its own cardboard box.

And I was like, well, I have to have that. Yeah, that is very you. You're right. The novelty thing is very you. Yeah, and I drank it. And I was pissed. It was 15%. I was like, this is like a it was like a coffee

kind of flavoured craft ale I might be getting into craft ale guys some of the this is going to be a massive switcheroo it's going to be wonderful

so when you go to so when I spend the time in the US they're obviously massively into craft ale and stuff but they go way over the top with it

in terms of the type of beers they make or they can do not always but they can do there's a place called Woollimantic in Connecticut a little town my wife always but they can do there's a place called Woollimantic in Connecticut a little town

my wife used to work there and there's a bar there it's called Woollibrew and it's essentially a proper brewery

and a bar as well it's good it does good food it's a good place to be and it's known for its beers so when you go there

you think well you've got to have a beer right you can't just go there and not have a beer but the problem is they've got all the beers on the blackboard and they're all a minimum of like eight percent

and it's like sipping beers yeah yeah and and also most people if not all of them are driving driving yeah yeah so it's almost like it makes it hard i find if a beer's over a certain strength i find it might just be my my taste or my palate or whatever, but I find it hard to discern the flavours that you're looking for when it's that strong. Right, okay. So 15% stout. Well, like, what's wine?

That's curtains. Wine's like, what, 12%, isn't it? You're a Lambrini man, aren't you? It's a little bit weaker than that. I drank half a bottle of red wine last night. It was bloody lovely. That's why you got naked this morning. This is me hungover.

Yeah. It's wonderful. Pete, in the dim distant past, we've promised our listeners emails. So I've got one here. Now, I mentioned earlier in the show what we've been discussing recently. One thing I forgot to mention, Pete,

and something I'm going to pick up on now, is parents censoring films for young children. Yes. So I said, very, very briefly, just to recap, I asked my parents to take Top Gun off the TV for me. They did it. They let me watch it. I was young.

And as a result, they paused the recording when the sex scene was on and started it again at the end afterwards. It shows a lot about how much I cared about plot, that I didn't question it. Like, he turns up at the house. He leaves the house. Yeah. Oh, he's just popped in.

He just popped in for a second. Take my breath away. Take my sex scene away. Take my scene away. Anyway, so George has been in touch, and he says, oh, bear with me one second. I'm just going to close that,

because that's getting in the way. Right, he says, hi, Luke and Pete. You shouldn't be looking at that while we're... Well, I'll do what I want. With regards to Luke's parents censoring the sex scene out of Top Gun, I have a similar story regarding the BBFC of Mum and Dad. BBFC, of course, the British Board of Film Classification, I think.

I remember being about ten when my dad felt it was completely appropriate for one weekend, me and my brother, to watch Silence of the Lambs as a family. Ten. Early on in the film, when Clarice is taken into the depths of the prison to meet with Hannibal Lecter oh there's a lot there's a lot of fruity language in that scene

I seem to recall can I say the C word in this show I think you can okay right my dad abruptly stopped the film fast forwarded it

10 seconds and pressed play again I love that dads just do that stuff yeah dad knows how does dad know I mean dad's seen it before yeah

why are they re-watching dad's favourite dad should do some sort that's the only bit he watches i like the fact that dad after 10 years of 10 years of being a father it's wearing thin now he's not even doing some sort of elaborate creative distraction technique he's just pressing fast forward and press play again yeah you got a problem with that have you i've got the remote yeah i've got a problem with that i'm fucking tired so i'm doing what i want i've got the remote you're not having it yeah um fast forward it 10 seconds

and then pressed play again he did this again a bit later when pressed on why he did it he said never you mind which is textbook dad

fast forward a decade when I decided to sit down and revisit the 1991 classic and imagine to my horror to realise that I'd been spared Migs tossing his sputum

and the infamous line I can smell your cunt from here he had also done the same for Buffalo Bill's expressionist dancing routine to Goodbye Horses. Anyway, love the show, guys. Give up the good work. George, the one thing you didn't

do for me earlier when you took all your clothes off is you didn't do a Buffalo Bill. I didn't do a Buffalo Bill. And for that, I thank you. To my credit. Other films featuring Buffalo Bills? Buffalo... Oh, I know this one. Alpha Papa? Right. He got a Buffalo one. Alpha Papa? Right. I don't think I've ever seen that one.

He got a Buffalo Bill. The Alan Partridge movie. Oh, you mean as in Buffalo Bill, as in Tucking Genitals? As in the act. Oh, the act of Tucking Genitals

into your bum bum. No, I can't think of any more to be honest. He does it in the Alan Partridge movie though. Yeah, yeah, he does. There's a Buffalo Bills

in the new Jurassic Park film. Really? He plays like a... What, a man called Buffalo in the new Jurassic Park film. Really? It's good. He plays like a... What, a man called Buffalo Bill? No, the actor. Okay.

And he plays a drill sergeant. And you're like, oh, it's good he's got a trade now, isn't he? Yeah. Nice to see Buffalo Bill went on. 27 years of him waiting for another role. If you've got any stories about... I don't know why I'm saying this, but this is the sort of thing you were going to say, Pete,

if I don't say it. If you've got any stories about Buffalo Bills, hello at lukeandpete is the sort of thing you're going to say pete if i don't say it have you got any stories about buffalo bills hello at luke and peter.com that is the thing though isn't it it's like the front is humorous the back it's actually aggressive the back is disgusting troubling i would say troubling bulbs to the point of when i was a teenager a bulb in a garden to the point of when I was a teenager and my friends and I would partake in gentle company, you wouldn't want to go round the back. No, no.

That's not for me. Speaking of that, it's just reminding me of something. So when I was younger and we used to go, we first started going to the pub, have a few beers in the pub and then we'd go back to a friend's house

if they had like, if their parents were away or whatever pub. Then we'd go back to a friend's house if they had like, if their parents were away or whatever. Aye. And we went back to my mate's house once and my mate, Phil, he was a bit of a sort of loose cannon. But anyway, we went back to the house. Five or six of us piled back to our mate's house.

No one was in. He was on his own. His parents were away. And as obviously as we opened the front door into the house, we said to him, oh mate, have you got any food? Because obviously we're starving. He said, oh house, um, we said to him, I might, have you got any food?

Cause obviously we're starving. They said, Oh yeah, yeah. Just go in the kitchen and help yourself. So Phil plowed into the kitchen ahead of me. And all I heard was, Oh God.

Oh, and, um, off yogurt to cut a long story short. He had, um, dipped his head. Didn't bother putting the light in the kitchen.

Right. Dipped his hand into a bowl of food, shoved it in his mouth, and it was dog food. Yeah. And I remember... He was just jamming his hand. I've got a vivid memory of turning the kitchen light on, him facing me with dog food around his mouth,

saying, I thought it was chocolate cake. It tastes like dog breath. Chocolate cake! What a mound of jellied chocolate cake. I love that. I'm not questioning this. Just like a mum I used to make. I'm not questioning this.

Just dicking my hand straight in there. Yeah. I mean, that's just Rudy. The best of times. Yeah. Yeah. Could have been worse. It couldn't have been.

It literally could not have been. Jake Wiggins, which reminds me of Officer Wiggins. Is that Wiggins? No. Chief Wiggum. Chief Wiggum, which reminds me of Officer Wiggins. Is that Wiggins? No. Chief Wiggum. Chief Wiggum. Which reminds me of Officer Wiggins, a character that doesn't exist. It literally has the word Wigg in it. Hello, Luke and Pete.

Following on from your numerous stories about readers stealing plot lines and lyrics to further their academic careers, it reminded me of my own act of juvenile plagiarism in primary school, aged around about eight years old. One day we were asked to try our hand at poetry. As the other youngsters in my class scribbled away, I contemplated what my poem was going to be about.

I should say at this point, as an eight-year-old, I was obsessed with the band Queen. Despite Freddie dying before I was even born, I could not get enough. I should also say that I was a very serious child. I thought very deeply about issues and worried about things most kids couldn't care less about. Because of those two attributes, my subject for the poem was to be regarding

the starvation of millions of people across the globe using Queen's lesser-known hit Is This The World We Created as an influence. I like that because he's using an off-the-beaten-track Queen song. Yeah, I could not tell you what that sounds like. Get it on the laptop. When I say influence, what I really mean is a blatant rip-off. Using lines such as,

is this the world we created and devastated right to the core? And if there's a God looking down, what would he think of the world, the world that we've created? I composed my poem. Fast forward to a couple of months later. My parents sit down with my teacher at parents' evening. The teacher then proceeds to tell my parents of the poem I wrote. Despite being a good piece of work, the teacher was concerned at how dark the poem subject matter was and that an eight-year-old should be writing about playing

football summer holidays and having fun agree well i just hope um she never uh runs into who's the fella out of um nine inch nails oh uh trent resna imagine trent resna at school the sort of poetry he wrote. Yeah. So, yeah, not the poverty and starvation of children a thousand miles away. My parents tell me that they could barely contain their laughter as they read the poem, biting their lip to stifle their laughter. So they were familiar with the Queen song. They probably played it in the car.

Yeah, exactly. They hurriedly left, and when they got home, between fits of laughter, told me that I shouldn't pass others' work off as my own, especially if it's sold millions of copies. Needless to say, on the odd occasion, my dad sticks on an old vinyl and the song comes on. He turns to me and says,

Jake, isn't this the one you wrote? Which I think is so wonderfully dad, beautifully dad. Probably the same dad that fast-forwarded the Science of the Lambs movie. Definitely. I was playing a bit of Alice Cooper on Absolute Radio yesterday on the request show. And my dad, who never listens to me,

the only comment he's made on my radio show in 10 years in radio, he texted me saying, Alice Cooper plays a lot of golf now. Yeah, it's true. It's true. It's true.

No, that's a typical insight you get from Stewie though, isn't it? That's the sort of thing Stewie brings to the table brilliant on that Queen thing that song is just the world we created

from the 1984 album The Works written by Freddie Mercury and Brian May just seeing the words write the John piece no just well you asked me to look it up

so I did just seeing the words Brian May made me think about isn't it odd I know it's a subjective thing and it's only

our opinion but isn't it odd how certain know it's a subjective thing and it's only your our opinion but isn't it odd how like certain recording artists from around that era a load of them are actually quite fiercely uncool you'd expect them to be quite cool yeah like freddie merkel was like a cool bloke but how did boy get away with it like how did boy yeah it's probably similar age to uh brian may maybe and i'm May, Pete. I'm thinking Sting as well. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it? I'm thinking David Coverdale. I'm like, people who should be cooler.

But maybe it's because they're British and, you know, he likes badges. I don't know what it is. They're always kind of like either incredibly right wing or just painfully dull about, you know dull about TV badges. I wasn't aware that David Coverdale was English, I have to admit.

No, he's not, is he? Yeah, he is. He's from Yorkshire. You just said he was. No, I didn't. I just said David Coverdale was uncool. Oh, right, yeah. He's also from Yorkshire. But yeah, I just found that odd. So if you've got any idea of any other artists that you think are on call from around that era, let us know. Thanks for that, Mr. Wiggo.

I've got this from Gavin, who is just quite strange, really. I don't remember doing this, but I'm sure I did. So you have to just come in on this, Pete. Gavin's got some Mustang batteries, and he's emailing them from Hastings in the beautiful county of, I think, East Sussex, but possibly West Sussex. In show 67, Luke claimed that Bill Beaumont had done nothing since his retirement from international rugby.

Now, do you remember Bill Beaumont? Question of sport, rugby guy, big bruiser. He says, I appreciate you guys are not oval ball aficionados, but Bill is head of world rugby. And has overseen rugby's biggest expansion, including Olympic rugby. He also spawned international rugby player, Josh Beaumont, so he's not been entirely fallow since retirement.

Mind you, if you have no interest in rugby, his work is largely forgettable, probably. Josh Beaumont, international rugby player, got one cap, I checked. I didn't try and prove a point. Oh, Josh, why are you such a disappointment? It's maybe something he's doubtful. This has been a very dad- why are you such a disappointment it's maybe something he's doubted

this has been a very dad themed show hasn't it yeah I think yeah I mean that is incredible lack of oversight from us really

isn't it yeah he is literally the head of rugby I quite like he's the monarch of rugby yeah I quite like

it's like it's like saying you know old I don't know Zia Deen Zidane has done nothing in football

but I don't I don't I findia Deen Zidane has done nothing in football but I don't I find it hard to sort of acknowledge rugby you know it's not something I know much about I quite like watching

international rugby if it's on the TV but other than that I know nothing about it and I find it baffling to watch to be honest I'd definitely be a league guy rather than a

because you're northern that seems to be a thing isn't it yeah it's weird isn't it no I have you noticed that I've written on the back bottom of your bottle you're northern. That seems to be a thing, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it? No, have you noticed that I've written on the back of the bottom of your bottle? You're such a knobhead. Bellend.

Yes, yes. Because when you tip it up, people can see the word bellend. Do you want to know how long has that been on there? Three days. Right. That's a bit of a shame. I had a day alone in the studio. I quite enjoyed it, really.

It was so peaceful. So when you came in on Thursday and you were supposed to be upgrading the RAM to the office computer... Buttery smooth. The buttery smooth computer. You spent your time writing bellend on my new water bottle

bought for me by my loving father-in-law. That's not a new one. That's an old one, isn't it? No, that's my new one. Why is it an office one, then? I'll tell you why. Because... Is that your inside one?

I thought that was your old one. Sorry, Luke. That is genuine emotion from me. Don't apologise to me. Apolog tell you why. Because... Is that your inside one? I thought that was your old one. Sorry, Luke. That is genuine emotion from me. Don't apologise to me. Apologise to Larry. Who's Larry? My father-in-law. Oh, Larry Nalgene.

For the story I'm about to tell you. I lost my old Nalgene water bottle. You didn't? Oh, you left it at Talk Sport, mate. Oh, yeah. Don't tell the fucking story, Pete. Sorry. The Rolls Royce of water bottles, Nalgene.

The Ferrari. It sounds like moss you'd find on water, Nalgene. Oh, we've got a Nalgene infest it sounds like moss you'd find on water Nalgene oh we've got a Nalgene infestation don't drink that anyway Larry

my father-in-law listens to all of our shows he loves the Luke and Pete show sorry Larry get Stewie listening that's what you want to do

he can't do that let me get the story out I announced on the show that I lost my water bottle and Larry being the great guy that he is he immediately bought me another one from in the US and posted it to me but by the time it that I lost my water bottle and Larry, being the great guy that he is, he immediately bought me another one

from in the US and posted it to me. But by the time it arrived, I found my old one. So I've got this one for the office, the new one, and the old one for home. I love how you kind of pat that on the head like a child. And you've written Bellend on the bottom of it. Sorry, Larry. No, that's fine. He won't mind.

He won't mind. Look, Larry, you probably don't even use the term Bellend. No, it's fine. He won't mind. He won't mind. Look, Larry, you probably don't even use the term bellend. No, it's true, actually. You might not do it. It might not even, yeah. There we go. Sorry. Let's do one more email before we go.

All right, let's do one more email. Well, just a quick one about... You've got a new Mancarta for Thursday, right? Yeah. So we'll do that. Yeah, we'll do that on Thursday because it's so enjoyable. National Treasures. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah. So we'll do that. Yeah, we'll do that on Thursday because it's so enjoyable. National Treasures. Oh, yeah, okay.

A quick one about National Treasures. Kenny from Tainmouth in Devon. Hi, chaps. These cannot be denied. I'm going to start with... I'm not going to give you the first one because I disagree with it. Jennifer Saunders,

National Treasure, nailed on. Dawn French, National Treasure, nailed on. Joanna Lumley, definitely a National Treasure, nailed on. Don French, National Treasure, nailed on. Joanna Lumley, definitely a National Treasure, nailed on. Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry, both National Treasures.

These are all sort of 80s and 90s comedy performers. Yeah, very much. He just put like a couple of VHSs on. I thought, oh, these are all brilliant. But who's those guys who used to be, what was that band that used to be on Jennifer Saunders and French and Saunders shows? Oh, God, it was that band that used to be on Jennifer Saunders and French Saunders shows? Oh God, it was Roland Riveron and that ball block he used to play, the

guitar I think. Roland Riveron. Why isn't Roland Riveron in there? Is it because he drinks in the groucho? Well you would know. I would know. Why don't you those there the standouts for me would be Lumley and Fry.

Yeah. If I'm putting them in order. Yeah. I respect what Laurie's achieved both here and in the US in terms of her career. Yeah. The one at the top of the list, why are you not reading it? Ed Edmondson. Yeah, why don't you like him?

I think before Rick Mills' death, he would be interviewed on radio, basically not being particularly complimentary about Rick Mills' enthusiasm for another season of Bottom. And when I've seen him being interviewed, he sounds a bit crotchety and all manny. And out of the young ones, can you imagine which character I gravitated towards the most? Neil.

No, yeah, Vivian, of course. Absolutely. I love that character and even though... I think I love the thought of that character more than actually watching the young ones

because it was actually quite chewy. When Alexis Sale used to tell me, I was like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, I found Alexis Sale quite difficult to get on with because I was too young. Now, I think Alexis Sale

is brilliant. But I used to watch Alexis Sale on his own TV show. Do you remember the Alexei Sale TV show theme tune? Have we sung it on this show? What was the show called? Alexei Sale's commercial breakdown? No, it was Just a Carrot.

Alexei Sale, Alexei Sale, we love to hear it on the TV. Everybody give three cheers except the BBC. A-L-E-X-E-I-S-C-Y-L-E. I think it was the Alexei Selchuk. It was the all-new Alexei Selchuk, apparently. He was brilliant.

I didn't watch it. I didn't really watch it, I have to say. Yeah. But you can't be across everything, can you? One thing I will say for Ed Edmondson, though, is that he's in the latest Star Wars movie. He is, yeah. Is he in a suit? No, he's actually...

He plays the assistant to General Hux, I think. It was the first reboot, wasn't it, rather than... No, I think he's in The Last Jedi. It's either The Last Jedi or The Force Awakens. Holy moly, Solo got

a kick in, didn't it? What's that about? I haven't seen it. Well, that's the point. Nobody watched it. I find it odd that they put big budget movies and they release them

when they know it's going to be warm outside right so people just think oh yeah I would go to the cinema but for example I love going to the cinema and watching a movie

that I want to see but if it's a really nice day I feel like it's a shame to do it Solo was released in May though wasn't it oh was it but there have been examples of films

that have completely bombed unexpectedly because it's been like the hottest day of the year or something yeah but like you watch films in the evening, don't you? You're out and about, you go for a film.

Lovely. That's because you're on the dating game, that's why. Yeah, we all drive the dating game. You're a man about town. Oh, here's a good popcorn, don't put your hand too deep. Because you did a popcorn trick after going to the grouch home and being a bit of a barfly, picking up a lady or man.

Me and Roland Riveron. And then going to the cinema and performing the popcorn trick. Just putting my willy in the popcorn yeah alright let's get out of here we've been talking about the popcorn trick it's time to go until Thursday let's get out of here nice to speak to you all

and if you do want to get in touch hello at lukeandpeachshow.com that's us for another episode and we'll be back on Thursday for more stuff including a mencarta so don't miss it see you later bellends I bought this

Ribena from here