The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 76: Chaos on the central line

Episode Date: June 28, 2018

Highlander actor Christopher Lambert is apparently almost blind. Did you know that? Why would you, eh? Luke certainly didn't, not until Pete told him. Yes, the boys are back and they're talking yet more nonsense, which let's face it is the very thing they do best.There's music chat, including Neil Young, Van Morrison and Pete's baes The Darkness. Did you know he almost joined their five-a-side team once?Elsewhere, plenty of your anecdotes including a near-dust up on the London Underground's central line, and much, much more.To tell us about public transport and whatever else you fancy: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Yeah! I thought I'd let the theme run long there. Yeah, just catching up. Just catching up, yeah. How you doing, Luke Miller? It's Thursday, baby, and we're back. I am the Luke. With episodes...

You are the Pete. Yes. Episode 76, isn't it? 76. I know that you are getting slowly used to the numbering system. It's taken a while, hasn't it, to get involved. But I do appreciate you making the effort. Eventually.

Oh, Kimmy Schmidt is back. Oh, right. I couldn't really get into it. I think it's on the fourth season. And there's so many people in my life sort of say that exact same thing. I can't get into it. And these are the same people who love 30 Rock. These are the same people who love Direct Development.

I haven't seen it. Well, again, you like the Inbetweeners. So we're all ready. You thought Inbetweeners was not as good as, so you said the Inbetweeners was better than Peep Show. Yeah. We've discussed this on theers. We're all ready. You thought in-betweeners was not as good as... No. So you said the in-betweeners was better than Peter Shaw. Yeah.

We've discussed this on this show. I think it is. Such a weird thing to say. I think in-betweeners is... Genuinely, that makes me fear for the future of humanity and you as well. That's fair enough. You'll get electrocuted at some point with that kind of behaviour. Is that a threat or a worry?

But it's really good. It a worry but it's really good it's back and it's really good after the disappointment of the new Arrested Development season which isn't very good the

Kimmy Schmidt back is fantastic Titus Andronicus back on form have you

ever seen The Good Place yes and I didn't care for it I quite like that. I watched the first couple of episodes. We've spoken about that before, haven't we? I think we might have done, yeah.

Ted Danson's having a bit of an Indian summer, isn't he? A resurgence. A resurgence. But you're never really out of the game fully if you're an actor with that sort of experience under your belt, though. You might have a few fallow years, but at some point someone's going to bring you back. It's like John Travolta, isn't it, with Pulp Fiction?

I think that The Man from Highlander should come back. Christopher Lambert, is that him? Yes. I wonder what he's been up to. He's done a few bits and bobs. You know he's legally blind. Isn't that a film with Reese Witherspoon? What?

That's back as well, with a new one. Yeah, he accidentally... He can't act with his spectacles on unless spectacles are required. But he's got such extreme myopia, he has to film all of his scenes completely blind and he's damaged himself

on more than one occasion because of a sharp sword here and there. Really? That's funny. I thought you were going to say he's got such extreme myopia he will not listen to anyone else's opinions. What has he been doing since Highlander

just bits and bobs apart from Highlander 2 the quickening obviously the quickening yeah he's I can't think see anything

in his list here that I recognised no but he's again he's still working he's due a resurgence oh he's in Hail Caesar isn't that a Coen Brothers movie

oh yeah I haven't seen it the trailer looked amazing the film was dreadful if you and also due for a resurgence I think someone who should come back as a baddie The trailer looked amazing. The film was dreadful. And also due for research, and I think someone who should come back as a baddie. You know that guy in, I can't remember his damn name now,

but he was in, he was the man who owned the advertising billboard shop in Three Billboards. I haven't seen it. Right. Well, he is a man. Three Billboards cast. I'm Googling it. The man, Caleb Landry-Jones. I think he's a singer as well.

He has got such an interesting, horrible face. He's so good in everything I've seen. And he's going to be a big, big star of Anthony Hopkins scale, I think. Oh, I do recognise him. He's wonderful. He looks a bit like... He's so creepy. Yeah, he looks a bit like a sort of Macaulay Culkin

when he was in that difficult phase. So, this is what I'm saying. Macaulay Culkin needs to come back as a baddie in a film and he'd be brilliant at it. He would. And that kid you're talking about there is the son of the family in Get Out. Yes, he is, yeah.

He plays a lot of brothers, plays a lot of shitty brothers in Get Out. Yes, he is, yeah. He plays a lot of brothers, plays a lot of shitty brothers in stuff. He was in, oh God, he was in a film called, a film with Michael Pena and one of the Scarsguards quite recently. Okay, right. I love misremembering films.

What were we talking about at the top there before? I was going to say something and you sidetracked me with your four-man blonde. Macaulay Culkin. No, it was way before that. Yeah, of Landry Jones. Oh, there before? I was going to say something, and you sidetracked me with your four-month-old. Macaulay Culkin. No, it was way before that. Yeah, of Landry Jones. Oh, that's what I was going to tell you, because we normally sort of talk a little bit

about what we've been up to. And I had to take my two cats, Hercules and Magnus, to the vet for their annual check-up. Right. Which is a faff. Still a cat, Mr. Moore. Yeah, they're both... Still a couple of bloody cats, mate.

That's what the vet said. They're both cats, obviously. And anyway, on the third appointment, because mate that's what the vet said um they're both cats obviously and um anyway on the third appointment because i had to cancel the first two because they wouldn't come in because they they got some sort of weird sixth sense they know they're going to the vet i don't want to do it so they just disappear um i took them to the vet and uh they were fine uh but sadly when i started smoking yeah yeah have you been smoking hercules no they're both overweight they're both

putting a kilo ah fat cats so they're about to go on diets right yes one of them one of them

hercules has taken it pretty he's taken it on the chin he's been alright about it he's been stoic he's just getting

on with it and the other one magnus who's a diva anyway has gone completely mad to the point of where he walked up to the

other one the other day and smacked him upside the head and hissed in his face because he's so hungry. And when we got back from the World Cup party on last Monday night, he'd eaten a battered sausage.

He'd brought in a massive frog. Yeah. Did he not eat it? Nope. Oh, he just brought it in. You know frogs are... Is that misbehaviour though? That's what cats do, isn't it?

Showing off, what's attention, all that kind of stuff. Right, okay. And, but the... I felt sorry for the frog, obviously. I picked the frog, I put it outside and hoped it would be okay,

but it wasn't. I had to bury it the next day. But anyway, the weird thing about it was, I don't know, drink had been taken. It was late at night i ate the frog the frog was covered in what was but i didn't know at the time was cat hair

right so i was like what what sort of animal what sort of animal is this it took me ages to work it out so yeah they've been playing up badly when i was in uh korea with mark who does the other podcast, Wrestle Me, he was convinced, he likes the way he stories us, Mark, but he was convinced that he was looking in the window of a pet shop and he saw a hedgehog, but with really long spindly legs. And then when he kept looking at it, the man ran over and covered up the cage with a cloth. This didn't happen. This is the plot of Gremlins.

That's what he said. He said there was a hedgehog with big, long spindly legs. And it's actually quite an evocative image, a hedgehog. So what was it? We never found out because the man covered up the cage. Surely you'd be asking questions. Yeah, he would be asking questions. Surely you'd be asking questions yeah he would be asking questions

surely you'd be going I'm Sarah Koenig and this is cereal over the next 10 weeks we're going to find out what it was in that pet shop that's a great theme

hello at lukeandpetecher.com what is the oddest animal that you can't explain that you've seen in a pet shop we'll get loads of emails about that loads

that's really funny so yeah hello at lukeandpetecher. We'll get loads of emails about that. Loads. That's really funny. So yeah, hello at lukeandpetech.com to get in touch with your emails. Pete, anything else to add before we go into the main crux? Not really. Oh, we want more Keith Floyd emails. I'm disappointed in the lack of Keith Floyd emails.

I worry, though, men of certain ages who partake in drink, stories can go either way, I think. That's true. That's true. We need to put Mark Haynes again. We all have darkness in our soul. We do. You've seen the darkness, Pete. I can go either way, I think. That's true. That's true. We all have darkness in our soul.

We do. You've seen the darkness, Pete, I can tell. Let's get on with the emails. I really want to hear the rest of it. Very high, isn't it?

Yeah. How many takes do you reckon? I reckon a few takes. That was before Auto-Tune, so I mean at least he bloody hit it. Nah, it wasn't few takes. That was before Auto-Tune, so I mean, at least he bloody hit. Nah, it wasn't, was it?

Yeah. Auto-Tune must have been around for ages. Auto-Tune was very obvious. I remember when it came in. We put a man on the moon in the 60s, mate. Speaking of Auto-Tune, something that often goes unmentioned, and I don't know if you'll be aware of it

because I'm not sure if it's your kind of thing, but do you remember when there was a weird period when X Factor came back? So it used to do, I don't know what it does now, but it used to do the auditions for X Factor. You know the Simon Cowell vehicle? The auditions used to be in a closed room, and they'd get put through, or they wouldn't.

Then they would go to the live shows. And about, I can't remember how many years ago, but a decent amount of years ago, it was built up and marketed as, right, the first live show of this series is coming on saturday right it's going to be brilliant everyone watch it seven o'clock itv or whatever so anyway they start the show i think it's presented by um derma or whoever yeah and um they introduce all the judges and the crowd there's a big it's a big big studio or whatever. There's loads of people watching live in the building. Yeah.

And they introduce the first act. I can't remember what it was. But it becomes really quickly obvious that they're massively auto-tuning their voice. Okay, right.

And so it just sounded mental. It sounded like one of those, like, one of those, you know, I mean, you know when we were young, when younger people did these auto-tune pop songs, it sounded like that, but on live TV it was

really weird. And there was a massive scandal about it. And the newspapers reported on it and it was ridiculous. And then the next week they just, just binned it. And all the singing was absolutely shit. That's what I think of when I think of auto-tune. Do you remember, um, Cher's Do You Believe in Me? Yes, it, it, it, no, like that. So that was auto-tuned. Yeah. That's years ago. Yeah, but that was taken. That's 25 I think of when I think of autotune. Jemma shares, do you believe in that?

So that was autotuned, and that was years ago. Yeah, but that was taken... That was 25 years ago. But that was taken... What are you doing? I'm doing autotune. It's not, you're just... Autotune.

It sort of went, do you believe? Yeah. Do you believe? It was like that. She didn't do that in the studio. Not her age. She probably doesn't even have a... Well, she doesn't because she's a woman,

but she probably doesn't even have a throat anymore. What does that mean? Because she's had a lot of plastic surgery. She's very active on Twitter. She's lovely on Twitter. She once said, I'm really sorry I was very rude to somebody. If that person could get back in touch,

I'd like to apologise. The avatar was an egg could have been anyone Dre literally could have been anyone could have been anyone it's like the Conor McGregor the MMA apology isn't it

have you ever seen that no Conor McGregor obviously a bit of a character to say the least bit of a live wire I think he became

I don't really know much about MMA but I think he became the second the first person to ever win two weight world titles. Okay, right.

And they grabbed him after he won, and he said, Thank you very much. I'd just like to take this opportunity to apologise to absolutely fucking no one. Bit like that. Yeah. I'll tell you who else is mental on Twitter. Who? Roseanne Barr.

Yeah, well, she's... Genuinely hateful. She's hateful. Her birds have come home to roost, so to speak. Which was the name of one of the episodes of the show. I drunkenly watched one of those episodes about Roseanne. Any good? Oh, God.

I mean, he sort of got... It was one of the biggest... Obviously, one of the biggest sitcoms. The reboot was one of the biggest sitcoms. You just sort of go, why is... Who's the guy who's in Big Leaguer? John Goodman.

Why is John Goodman getting involved with this? It's a dreadful product. Well, I know exactly why. Big numbers. Big money. Yeah. They must have been on like a million quid episode. Dirty cash, I want you.

Dirty cash, I need you all. I was trying to remember. Money talks. I was trying to remember Roseanne's theme tune, but I couldn't. No. In my head, it was Van Morrison's version of... It was Van Morrison's version of... What?

I can barely hear from my friend... No, it was Joe Cocker, isn't it? Joe Cocker, that's it. I always get those two mixed up. God rest him, by the way. God rest him. God rest him. Van Morrison, who I do believe is playing the Isle of Wight Festival this weekend,

has a wonderful habit of keeping the band playing on the last song, keeping them going through the motions, and then getting in his helicopter before the last note is played. He is a known shit. He's a known shitbag. A legendary shitbag. That pleases me. Listen to Astral Weeks.

It's amazing. I mean, it's not revolutionary in the same, but any shitbag behavior is forgiven by the fact that Astral Weeks. It's amazing. I mean, it's not revolutionary in the same, but any shitbag behavior is forgiven by the fact that Astral Weeks is so fucking good. And speaking of being a shitbag on stage, apparently Neil Young went through a phase of being a bit sort of contrary and all that kind of stuff at the height of his fame.

And apparently he played a big festival in the 70s. I can't remember which one. And he came out and he just basically played, he's a massive festival in the 70s I can't remember which one and he came out and he just basically played he's a massive artist at this point but he just played

songs from his new album that wasn't out yet him and his band just played 10, 15 songs that no one had heard and everyone was like come on

for fuck's sake you know and apparently at the very end he said right we're going to play one you've heard before

and everyone was like and he just played the first song again. And they left. I love that. Shitbag behavior. I remember watching Darkness do a little session for my radio station. And I mean,

bless him. Like, a very underrated band. They could really go. They could really go. They had some good songs. He's a good singer, that guy as well.

Yeah. And, you know, and the guitarist is really good and when they're when they're actually in life you go they're a bit they're a bit rough around the edges but they can really go and they're very serious about their music they were massive for a bit when i didn't they play wembley stadium they were um people call them a jock band they're not a jock band their music is fun uh and they have fun with it but yeah it was it was interesting but they did this live session where they played

like you know Growing On Me and a couple of other ones and like somebody with a darkness t-shirt on they went right

what song do you want to hear to like the crowd because they're just really nice blocks in the main apart from the bassist he's a bit of a knob the one with the mustache

yeah he's a bit of a knob and and the guy and somebody shouted the one with the moustache yeah he's a bit of a knob and and the guy and somebody shouted the guy with the darkness dishes shouted do the Christmas one he's going

it's not called the Christmas one it's called don't let the bells end I like that they did I like that they tried to pick up the tradition of doing a Christmas song again

and they called it and they used the word bell end which is fucking brilliant apparently that guy Justin what's his name Justin Hawkins.

I once almost got into his Fiverside Darkness football team. They must be terrible. What do you mean? I remember reading an article. It was 2003, and that was their big year. I spent the majority of the time living away from the UK, so it sort of passed me by a bit the whole thing. But I remember, maybe the year before that

I used to have a job at a call centre awful job but the people who worked there were nice and it was fun and the internet was massively restricted

obviously it was a nascent internet anyway but one of the things that wasn't restricted was the Guardian website and the music section I used to just read it all day

and about a year before they became massive alexis petrides who i think is still the chief um music writer for the guardian he wrote an article about um the darkness i think they're from lowestoft in suffolk yeah i think and uh he said he was in you definitely have to dig it out i can't remember the exact details but it was something it was a fascinating story something along the lines of he was out in lowest of randomly at some event or went somewhere and he went into a pub just a regular pub

and the darkness were playing in there in full regalia doing the songs and he said it was it was like mind-blowingly good

like it was it was almost like quite hard to believe that it was even happening that a band of such quality were playing in such a small it's like

I mean because they were a bit like I suppose they were a bit like and for those of you who are big Queen fans this will be sacrilege but they were something like an ersatz Queen

weren't they jumpsuits and all the glamour and that's when I first heard of them and I thought god they sound really interesting

but of course there was no real way then there was no Spotify or anything like that so I couldn't really listen to them

and then when I came back and I saw that they were massive I put two and two together and I thought jeez that's really interesting

I remember they did a great cover of Street Spirit Faded Out. Did they? I've never heard that. All in falsetto. Rows of houses are bearing down on me.

Probably sounds quite good. It did. And also, one of my favourite, even some of their songs that weren't that popular, they were just funny. They were fun.

The music was good. I respect the Darkness immensely for what they did. But the problem is, when the tabloids get holier, it's all about fucking how much cocaine you shove up your nose and how troubled you are, et cetera, when you get caught in a long lens doing what rock stars do. One of my favourite tracks of them is Get Your Hands Off My Woman, Motherfucker.

Get your hands off my woman, motherfucker. You love them, Pete. I didn't know you were such a big fan. Have you interviewed Justin Hawkins? Yeah, that's how I nearly got on the Five Sides team. Really, really nice. We played football. I had a bit of a kick around with him with the football

and he went, oh, you should join our Five Sides team. I was like, let's do that. It didn't happen. It didn't happen didn't happen nice block he made his name made his reputation or the first big thing

he did was didn't he create and write the music for like what a famous Ikea advert that rings a bell yeah anyway we were going to do emails at some point

in the distant past I want to talk to you Peter and to the listeners at home about an email from Joe Clark do you remember last week no god no okay I didn't think you did I'll remind you and to the listeners at home about an email from Joe Clark. Do you remember last week?

No, God no. Okay, I didn't think you did. I'll remind you. I saw an almost fight on the tube. Yes. Told you that, didn't I? Yes. Well, Joe Clark says the following.

Love the show and have listened since episode one. That's what they all say, Joe, but we'll believe you. He said, if you can cast your mind back to last Thursday, Luke talked about a particularly heated altercation between two commuters on the Tube. If I'm not mistaken, this was between Marlena and Stratford, and that young man in question was none other than myself. Oh, wow, is that... As an ambassador for Hartlepool to London,

possibly the only other apart from Pete, I feel it is my solemn duty to explain the events that took place and defend the already tattered name of our people. It was a particularly balmy evening and, as usual, the central line felt more like a cattle truck than something designed to transport human beings. As such, everyone was in a rush to get on and off as quickly as possible. Now, I know you're thinking that this northeastern townie didn't respect the rules of the tube, but this is not the case and I was as ever a perfect gentleman i waited for the passengers to leave and even allowed the old lady in front of me onto the

tube first it was at this point that a particularly middle-class wankery dad his words complete with m&s suit and seven pound haircut a bit personal barged me into the side of the door that's what happened to you earlier pete yeah um coming from a town of nice people with albeit questionable views i was not going to take this lying down i voiced my frustration uttering something along the lines of arsehole which in retrospect may not have been my best move this immediately prompted the guy to launch into a tirade of expletives and the biggest heel turns since macho man turned his back on hulk hobart in 1989 as luke mentioned last week several passengers moved down the train to escape the white hot

Marks and Spencer's dress, fury of the man and I was left alone with him, a pilgrim in an unholy land. Not wanting to cause a scene, I did the right thing and got off at the next station, but not before flipping in the V's and sprinting off. Of course now I've been looking over my shoulder ever since, but if you were there Luke, it would have been nice to

have some backup. Anyway, sorry, guys, for the long read. And a quick public service announcement for everyone out there to never get in the way of a middle-class dad on a hot day and stay safe on the Tube, especially if you're a northern oik from Hartlepool. Cheers, Joe Clark. Now, Joe, although that is a fascinating story, that was not me.

I was not on that Tube line. I take the Victoria line to the office, not the Central line. I've certainly got no business way out east between Mile End and Stratford. No. So not guilty, Your Honour. However, if I was there, I probably would have assessed the situation

and then decided whether to back you up or not. Yeah. Tube etiquette's important, Pete, isn't it? He thinks he's on the B bus to Foggy Furs. What does that mean? It's a place in Hartlepool. Foggy Furs? Foggy Furs. How endearing. I'm not really sure what Foggy Furs. What does that mean? It's a place in Hartlepool. Foggy Furs? Foggy Furs.

How endearing. I'm not really sure what Foggy Furs is all about. All of our stations are always like 42nd Street and Old Knight Club. Thrust and Grange

just a part of it. And they actually say those? Yeah. Okay. 42nd Street, Carton Bingo. All those ones. What,

Pete, Tube Etiquette, this is quite London centric but Joe who's emailed in is actually from Hartlepool as well so it's not just about Londoners

but for those who are visitors to London or maybe aren't that familiar with it Tube Etiquette in London is important isn't it it's often parodied in comedic

media but don't look at anyone don't talk to anyone I mean more I mean more of the the idea there's so many people knocking about that you have to do certain things for it to actually function properly yeah so you can't stand on the left on an escalator because there's so many people it just it just it will block everything behind them the tube the platforms that get brought the

trains but yeah but also people just get and people get angry about that when you're not familiar with where you stand. Because in Tokyo, people stand on the right-hand side, I think. And in Osaka, the second city, effectively, people stand on the left. And it's just never explained. And that's the stated rule. And it's never explained.

And so it's all cultural, isn't it? And I think if we had a little bit more patience and we weren't pricks. I mean, this weather, all bets are off. People go fucking insane. Pete, what do you... Okay, let me put you in a scenario because you've dodged a bullet there. You've actually... You've shirked that point.

So I'm going to make it a little bit clearer for you. Right. Make it unshirkable. You're standing on the platform. Yeah. Waiting to get on a busy train. Yeah. No.

In fact, no, you're not. You're on the train. Right. A busy train. It's coming to a platform. Right. You're in a bit of busy train. Yeah. No, in fact, no, you're not. You're on the train, a busy train. It's coming to a platform. Right. You're in a bit of a hurry. Yeah. I've got to get to my meetings.

Exactly. I've got to buy, buy, sell, sell. I've got to get on the shop floor, mate. You've got to get to the police station. You are mandated to do so every day. You're about to get off the train when the doors open. And before you can get on, sorry, before you can get off, a load of people will just try and pile on.

What do you do? I go, sorry, excuse me, excuse me. Gink off. Well, you're very kind about it. You don't get involved. You don't push your way past or anything like that. Well, no. I mean, you have to push your way past because you wouldn't get out.

No, I'm very timid. I'm an absolute puss-puss. Do you know what I do? What? Start wailing. Start throwing elbows. Assess immediately if they're of fighting age. If they are. Big shoulder in the solar plexus.

Yeah. That's what you get. That's what you get, mate. You won't do that again, will you? I'm doing them a favour there because they won't do it again. If you're making excuses for them, Pete, they're going to keep annoying other people. It's important.

We've all got a role to play. It is confusing behaviour, isn't it? Just piling on. I don't like it also when people sit in the priority seats that are reserved for elderly people or disabled people. No, fact that. If there's nobody around, just sit in them. You're making more of a blockage just by standing next to them.

It depends on the situation, though. Yeah, it does depend on the situation. Anyway, if you've had a fight on any public transport, not just in London, do what Joe's done there. Run away, but then email us about it. I'm trying to think of the last time. It was probably, I was going out with a girl.

I was probably about 23 and I was on a night bus back to Deptford. Not the nicest place in the world. No. And my girlfriend at the time's sister was visiting from Jersey. The safest place in the world.

Yeah. Daily Mail Island. Quite odd though. Yeah, strange, very strange. And I'm eating fried chicken. And there's three naughty boys at the back of the bus. What do you mean by naughty? Just naughty boys.

They're smoking. You're being naughty. You're being naughty boys. But they're big naughty boys. Probably got weapons on them. Those kind of naughty boys. And I'm eating the chicken. And one of them goes, Hey, pussy I'm eating the chicken and one of them goes

hey pussyhole eat the chicken properly put it in your mouth you fucking gay whatever yeah yeah bamba clout or whatever

and and and the Jersey sister goes do you mind oh god and like starts getting involved I'm like, just ignore them.

And that was the last time I thought I was going to get an absolute piss stink. And what happened after that? Nothing? I flicked the V's and ran off. No, luckily we were getting off,

but that was a close call. But I think when a girl gets involved, it disarms a bully, a man, because they don't know what to do, do they? Um,

no. No, I've seen situations where it just makes it very much worse I can remember she ain't going to get filled in let's make that very clear well that's right

but I can remember at uni once there would be occasional sort of dust ups in the student union and the security would always just pile in and sort it out

but at one point I remember quite vividly there were two girls getting having a fight hair pulling and all sorts and the security who were all men

just didn't know what to do. Didn't know what to do. Didn't know what they could do, what they couldn't do. It was really vicious. It went on for ages, like way longer than they should have done. So you can throw a cat among the pigeons. Now, Pete, I've got an email here about a man who was obsessed with you that I'm going to read out.

Okay. Before I do that, I want you to read that one at the bottom from Rob Farquharson. Okay. Is that how you pronounce his name? Farquharson? I think I'll just go with Farquharson. Okay. Is that how you pronounce his name? Farquharson? I think I'll just go with Farquharson. Yeah, okay.

Who's rocking some rocket alkaline triple A's. Hello, chaps. Just listening to episode 71, your discussion about swearing in pop music and the ways people edit it out or otherwise disguise it. And I thought I'd mention one example where they just don't bother because no one noticed it. Having listened to the chorus of the 1990 classic

Unbelievable by EMF, the squealing guitar, the insistent keyboard riff and the sample of the man, I believe it's the comedian from the US, the Diceman, Andrew Dice Clay, shouting,

what the fuck? And then, what the fuck was that? Clear, obvious, and yet somehow regularly still played almost two decades later everywhere from daytime radio

to montages on the one show. It's almost three decades later, actually. Yeah, oh God, it's an incredibly old track. Yeah, was this something that we all just agreed not to mention? Did I miss a meeting? You wanted to blow the whole thing wide open by mistake many years later? Or did people genuinely not notice?

If I remember rightly, it was even included on the lyric sheet of the album, the some killer, much filler masterpiece that was Schubert Dip. I've never heard any other EMF songs like that I think. But you said you listened back to it and tried and

listened. I saw this email a little while ago and I tried to listen back and I couldn't find, maybe I was listening to a radio edit and I

couldn't find the swearing in it. Because we play it a lot on Absolute Radio 90s, which is a radio station I'm involved in because it's the 90th.

Of course. So you were saying you listened to it back and you couldn't actually hear it it's a song that would be a favourite of mine to the point of when I was putting together the mixtape to drive to

Reading Festival 1998 it was on there and we must have listened to that tape 50 times and I never once heard that. Reading 98 was a warm bus journey from Hartlepool. Sorry, can I apologise?

It was V99. V99. So worth the drive. Reading's not that far from where you live, is it, compared to V, which would have been Chelmsford. I went down on a bus. John the Con was the man

who ran the other record store which is like the indie record shop in Hartlepool and he died quite recently so I'm not sure

it was in the middle of a weird part of town that was neither town nor not town it was near Millhouse Leisure Centre fun place leisure

and he would and he would put on a bus to Reading and Glastonbury, stuff like that. And for your 95 quid, you get a ticket, the bus, and a warm can of lager when you got there, which is very nice. But the only problem is it's a bus to Reading and it takes about fucking 11 hours. My goodness me.

How much was it? Say again? How much was it? Well, back then it was like 95 quid, I think it was. Including your hours. My goodness me. How much was it? Say again? How much was it? Well, back then it was like 95 quid, I think it was. Including your ticket? Including your ticket. Which nowadays, it would be 250 quid. Yeah.

Easily. My first Glastonbury ticket was 70 quid. It's mad, isn't it? Now it's like, what is it? Standard 200. I think it's more than that, actually. Is it? Yeah.

Speaking of... And what I'm seeing is, on the way down, they played a live James song, a live James DVD, or Slash for your chest back then. They just went round and round and round. I was unfamiliar with James' oeuvre, but the song, Come Home, that has that... Now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now.

It just goes on and on and on. That reminds me of that very sleepy journey. You played that on a loop? Yeah, it was dreadful. Did you get a return ticket? Got a return ticket, yeah. But you had to leave in the middle of the last headline. It was on the Sunday.

Was this V99? No, this is Reading 98. Oh, Reading 99. Okay, right. That's amazing. And speaking of poor decisions in terms of long-term travel, a mate of mine, a good friend of mine, Jimmy, he went to a stag weekend in scotland

he's living in london at a time as he still does now and he is a legendary like penny pincher he is the man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing right very dear friend to me known him since i was about eight and even when we were kids and we used to be able to walk to the corner shop on our own he would have have memorised how much everything was from before, decided what he wanted before he left the house and counted out the exact change from his piggy bank to go and buy that. So rather than just taking, say, a pound

and looking at what you wanted, he would always do it that way. So he's always been like that. So anyway, he's invited to a stag weekend up in Scotland and bear in mind, it's a stag weekend. So it's going to be pretty heavy going. I mean, he's a big drinker himself. So it'll be two or three nights up in Scotland onland and uh bearing in mind it's a stag weekend it's gonna be pretty heavy going and he's a big drinker himself so it'll be two or three nights up in scotland on the piss basically so you want to get the preparation right for that yeah not him he looks at the trains going up to

edinburgh or whatever says too pricey i'm getting a megabus so he gets so the um the stag weekend starts on a friday he gets the Megabus, which leaves Victoria in London, I think, 9pm on the Thursday night and arrives about 8am on Friday morning. He does that with his mate. I think it cost him £3, right? But he's got no food or drink with him. And there are no scheduled stops other than toilet breaks, right?

He said it got so bad that the air conditioning was so, so fierce. Yeah. They were freezing. Absolutely freezing because it was in the summer.

And it got so bad, to cut a long story short, I think about seven or eight hours in the journey having to get, having to get absolutely no sleep at all. Yeah.

They were taking turns, him and his mate, to go on these like surreptitious sorties to go under the seat in front of them where two girls were sitting to grab digestives from the bag that they had left open while they were asleep

and sharing them around like rations to keep themselves going. And then when they got there, they had to get pissed. I mean, life is literally too short, isn't it? Yeah, way too short. When you see people exhibiting

weird behaviour like that you sort of go you're going to be in your death bed you're going to be thinking about that was it worth it

was it worth it nobody ever says I'm glad I'd saved you know 30 quid he had to go to the Megabus home as well after the

stag weekend which is another I imagine it was a lot easier to sleep my biggest thing is that people who love saving money

almost exclusively never attribute any value to their own time. Yes, exactly. That's taken you 24 hours out of your life then. Yeah, yeah. Well, you could have done, depending on what work you do, you could have earned some money or something. You could do whatever.

Anyway, very quickly before we go, because we've run out of time, there's an email here from a guy called Cookie who is obsessed with you, the Pete. Okay. And I want to read it. He says, Hi Luke and Pete.

As everyone seems to say, long time listener and first time emailer. The other day I was driving home listening to some absolute radio on my DAB radio when I realized Pete is

taking over all of my content. It started with the Ramble, then Wrestle Me, then the Luke and Pete show and now the radio. Since realizing Pete

is now a major influence on my life, I decided I wanted to learn i wanted to learn more about the man behind the speaker this obviously led to me googling pete donaldson i was fraught with danger that despite the content pete serves me daily i still have a long way to go before i follow him following pete's footsteps and become a handsome billionaire i want you to discuss the validity of the stats found on the site v VIPFAQ.com forward slash Pete Donaldson. Yeah, so if you're unfamiliar with this website,

basically it's a bot that just finds people who have appeared in articles, people who have got a certain internet presence, and they basically make up a load of shit. But it's all done procedurally. It's all done with an algorithm rather than anybody actually writing this toss. So for someone who's really famous,

it would be more accurate? Possibly not. I think it's just a cheap eye grab, a cheap content grab. Basically, they just put a load of names into a database and come up with random stats and shit like that.

All right, well, listen, VIPFAQ.com forward slash Pete Donaldson says the following things about you, Pete. But it's a great ego stroke if you're not

very well known. You're like, oh, someone's written something about me. Right. Well, you can confirm with nine of this stuff.

Okay. It estimates your net worth at $1.3 billion. Yeah, that's about, I mean, if I, the acts that I am planning to perpetrate would do that amount of damage.

Yes. I think that got confused with your barber at the groucho. Is Pete Donaldson hot? 77% of people think he's hot. I mean, that's not something I've experienced personally, but maybe they were only asking the people of Micronesia. Are there any photos of Pete Donaldson's hairstyle or topless? Unfortunately, that information was unavailable.

Most of them, I'm topless or I've got my air out. Next question. Does Pete do drugs? 64% of voters think Pete does drugs regularly. 27% assume Pete does drugs

recreationally and a measly 9% think Pete has never done drugs. Well. Sexual direction. 54% think Pete is gay.

31% think Pete is bisexual and 15% think he is straight. How% think Pete is bisexual and 15% think he is straight. How does that, hang on, how does that, 54, 31, 15,

does that add up? I don't think it does, does it? Yeah, it does. Okay. Yeah. And finally, 100% people think

I can't do maths. Yeah. And finally, Cookie says that you should hashtag free the nip to satisfy the demanding public who want a topless photo because at the moment

on VIPFAQ.com there is no topless photo available of you the moment on VIPFAQ.com, there is no topless photo available of you, Peter. Maybe I should get in touch. I've got loads on my phone. You've got a folder on your phone just of me. It's called Pete, yeah. It's disgusting. You got a new one when I got nude last week.

Last week you got totally naked. Totally naked and you got a cheeky snap. I think the upskirt in law is very much aimed at you, Luke Moore. Hang on a minute. If you purposely take all of your clothes off. If you're going to dress like that aimed at you, Luke Moore. Hang on a minute. Hang on a minute. If you purposely take all of your clothes off. If you're going to dress like that, fuck you, Luke Moore, you disgusting pig. Asking for a photograph. If you want to email and call me a disgusting pig as well,

hello at lukeandpete show.com. We're out of here because we're out of time. There's loads to do. We've got to get out. So say goodbye, Peter. Bye-bye. We'll see you next week. It's goodbye from me too.