The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 98: Flavour Dad
Episode Date: September 13, 2018Let episode 98 be forever known as the time we finally discovered the best Dads ever, including a tour manager for the Rolling Stones and a father who literally brought home 20 different types of milk...shake for his kids to sample and rate. Incredible.We also hear about the most expensive brandy in history, village fetes, rhubarb, and why Pete had never been asked back to the BBC. All your usual favourites are also included: Pete's Dad, Pete's tattoos, Pete's opinions on food etc. You know the drill by now.Send Pete ideas for a tattoo to commemorate the 100th Luke and Pete Show episode: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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Watcha?
I introduced the last one, I'm not introducing this one.
Oh what? Unbelievable.
Do some work yourself, Donaldson.
I was swallowing a cough. I was coughing on air on my job as absolute radio DJ and I was really thinking,
whoa,
what if I died on air?
Wouldn't that be
spectacular?
It'd be what you
would have wanted,
I would have thought.
Figures would go
through the basement.
The basement floor.
Remain largely the same.
And I was thinking
about like bucket lists,
things you do
before you die.
All the shit
I've ever done.
I've never had
frog's legs.
I've never experienced
a webinar.
I've never, I've never been to Egg.
I don't think I've ever went to our Ministry of Sound.
What is Egg?
Nightclubs in London.
Eggs open like 24 hours.
It's weird.
I thought it closed about 10 years ago.
No, I think it's still there.
It's the only club that I remember.
I think I've probably spoken about this guy before,
but there was a drunk guy on Tottenham Court Road,
Spanish, I think, and he was like, Hey, going hey guys where's the party i need to go to
a club and it was like two in the afternoon i mean it went egg is your best chance it's your
best chance on a thursday at 12 p.m eggs probably open did you pull out your egg credit card oh
remember them did they got the wall yeah there's a lot of claims going on, I think. Claims. Counter claims.
Small claims.
Welcome to Luke and Pete's show, episode 98, I do believe.
It's a show that tells you everything you need to know.
About nothing.
About nightclubbing during the day.
Yeah.
With Pete Party Dancing over there.
Oh, party pants.
And Luke Late Night More.
Late Night Luke More.
The night Talker.
If you want to get in touch
because we spend the first half of the show
talking about whatever we want to talk about
and then normally the second half of the show
talking about your emails and correspondence.
Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com
is the place for that.
Last time around,
we talked a lot about a lot of things.
I got into my mind
that you reminded me a bit of Mick Hucknall.
I don't know why.
I don't know.
Where's that come from?
This time around, your feet are chucking up a bit, mate.
Can you smell that?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's weird.
I don't know.
It's these shoes.
Why have you taken them off then?
Because if I put them on, it'll be worse, won't it?
No, not for me it won't.
All right, I'll put them back on.
Yeah, put them back on.
I don't mind that.
It's weird that, isn't it?
You're a man who's on record as saying you don't want to take your shoes off when you go to other people's houses.
You get into an enclosed space with me and all of a sudden
you're getting
completely naked
which by the way
you have literally
done in front of me before
what do you mean
trying to unsettle me
trying to unsettle you
when that time
when I went out
to answer the door
and I came back
and you'd taken
all your clothes off
yeah well I mean
I will do that
you have got a folder
on your phone
with just nude pictures
of me
or just pictures of me
it's a bit weird
there's quite a few
nude ones on there
there is quite a few
nude ones on there
I had to fully divulge the idea of it,
not the content,
but the idea of it to my wife
so she didn't think it was weird.
Right, okay.
And then she met you and thought it was fine.
Yeah.
One thing I did promise to do last time around
is ask how Stewie Donaldson's doing,
your dad.
He's alright.
I've not really spoken to him a lot.
He's supposed to be coming down at some point
with my mum.
So I said,
do it before I change my hours on Absolute Radio and we'll be able to have a bit of a meal to be coming down at some point with my mum so I said do it before I change my
hours on Absolute Radio
and we'll be able to
have a bit of a meal
what's the big change
well I'm covering
drive time through
the summer months
as they wait for a
new drive time jock
to start or a couple
of jocks to start
who's the new one
it's Andy Bush
and Richie Firth
Richie Firth used to
be on the breakfast
show with Christian
O'Connell
and obviously the
big news this week
is Chris Evans is
going to Virgin.
Yeah.
Virgin Radio.
He's leaving Radio 2, which is the biggest breakfast show in the country, isn't it?
Yeah.
I mean, never discount a radio man's ego.
He wants to be the saviour of a brand that he obviously respected and loved.
Presumably he's friends with Richard Branson or something.
But again, that's why Absolute Radio changed from Virgin,
because they were licensing the name and it was expensive
and they couldn't do certain things they wanted to do.
Are you in the shortlist for the running for the Radio 2 Breakfast?
Oh, hugely, yeah.
I'm up there with Sarah Cox.
I mean, Coxie and Pete, we'll probably do a doubleheader.
How close are you to having the Radio 2 Breakfast show?
What do you mean?
I just want to know.
I'm not close to even being on the BBC.
Are you closer than I am?
I've burned my bridges.
Have you?
No.
Have you ever been on the BBC? Yeah, Six Music for a bit with've burned my bridges. Have you? No. Have you ever been on the BBC?
Yeah, Six Music for a bit
with Danny Wallace.
Oh yeah, of course.
Humorist.
I enjoyed that.
It was funny,
but it was,
I think I was on,
I was really unhelpfully
on overnights on XFM.
So I would do like
one in the morning
to six in the morning
and then I'd go straight over
to Six Music and do that,
like have two hours sleep and then go over to Six Music and do that, like have two hours sleep,
and then go over to Six Music and do the show there.
I was just knackered.
It was a ridiculous thing to do.
Was there like another run at it?
Another run at doing?
Six Music.
How did we get onto this?
I don't know.
How's Stuart Donaldson doing?
I've not seen him.
I've not seen Luke, and he's supposed to be coming down soon.
That's right.
But I said to him.
Yeah, let's do like a
circular podcast
where we just have
the same story
I'll start doing
over the top of you
like in the round
what's your show like
it's good
we do the same stories
what different weeks
no the same stories
every episode
over and over again
yeah
I spoke to my dad
briefly before we came in here
because at the moment
my parents are looking
after our two cats
because as I said to you
before the garden's almost finished but it's being landscaped when you said our two cats
you said it like uh guys on film our two cats drinking the water our two cats yeah uh yeah and
so anyway but the point is because um so they're not they're not house cats they are outdoor cats
we've got a cat flap.
And the cat flap's very clever.
You sync up the chip in the back of your cat's neck to the cat flap.
Oh, so it only lets...
Those two in.
It's like a bouncer.
Yeah.
Basically, yeah.
But anyway, so, but we don't have that facility at my parents' place.
And also, they live near to quite a main road, so quite a busy road.
So they stay in the house.
Yeah.
But the problem is, I think now it's getting to the point
they've been there for about a week
and it's getting to the point
where they just desperately
want to go outside.
And so every time,
my dad was calling me to say
that he opened the door
earlier today
and Magnus just legged it out.
And my dad took,
spent about an hour
getting him back in.
So that basically is a coded way
of saying,
look, you've got to go
and pick your cats up
because it's getting ridiculous now.
They're going to start shitting
all over the floor soon. Yeah. So I've got to do that. your cats up because it's getting ridiculous now they're going to start shitting all over the floor soon
so I've got to do that
so I spoke to my dad today
what about that huh
there we go
yeah that's basically
what's been floating in my bag
alright so your relationship
with your dad is better than mine
what do you want
a tattoo
your dad's face on your leg
for this morning
you spend all your time
speaking to your dad
I don't really
you've made shows
with your dad on them
he just sends me
whatsapp videos
but like
I don't know where
he's getting them from
probably somewhere at the pub
but he's in sort of
like a round robin
of like dad videos
we all know that
that are just like
just men trying to
make sense of the world
yeah
dad videos and dad memes
do you think when you get
to a certain age
and my dad's I think 62 now
you get to a certain age
where you think
oh this world's mad now
I can't really understand it
I can't handle it yeah
that's why they come off
as being a bit right wing
and a bit weird
because they just
they just can't make sense
of the world
and that's fine
but some of them
become really bitter about it
yeah I don't understand that
my dad's very
my dad's a lovely man
he's not like that at all
but just like
I don't understand why
and it is mainly men
they just sort of like
they just can't let shit slide
my dad's
it's nothing to do
I don't there is only two genders it's nothing to do there is only
two genders
it's nothing
to do with you
mate
you've lived
so don't worry
about it
it's nothing
to do with you
my dad's
lovely and he's
very kind to
everyone but
it's funny because
I think I'm
going to be
terrible when I'm
old
terrible man
true yeah
that's true
I went to
Bristol last
weekend by the
way
ooh la la
I went to the Westbury onon-Trim village fete.
Right.
Those who follow my Instagram account.
Speaking of tweeners.
Those who follow my Instagram account, Pete,
and do take an interest, i.e. not you,
would have seen the Guinness World Record-breaking
world's largest rhubarb.
Well, I actually saw you molesting
some kind of root vegetable at one point.
I think it was a massive turnip, maybe.
It's huge.
It was a beaut.
Yeah.
But the world's biggest rhubarb was there, and it was astonishing.
And there was a man crucified on it.
Yeah, yeah.
But he didn't die.
He didn't die of asphyxiation.
He died of rhubarb.
It grows so fast, I can actually feel it growing.
They do grow fast, don't they?
I find the idea that, I know this is going to sound absolutely stupid,
but potatoes and celery growing in similar conditions,
you know, a British garden.
No, rhubarb grows in the dark.
It grows in the dark.
I think you have to put it in the shed.
No, but isn't it like rhubarb?
No, rhubarb you grow outside
because they've got big leaves to shade it from the sun, haven't they? So that's why they have such big leaves. You can definitely grow rhubarb? No, rhubarb you grow outside because they've got big leaves to shade it from the sun,
haven't they?
So that's why they have
such big leaves.
You can definitely grow
rhubarb outside,
but they grow in very different,
similar sort of conditions,
but those two kind of like
are very different vegetables.
One's just full of water
and one's just so starchy.
One's a tuber.
It's incredible.
And they all come from seeds.
I realise I'm just describing
how plants work,
but it's fascinating.
If you were doing a top three vegetables...
What, out of the ground,
that you could grow in England?
That you like.
Right.
The humble potato would have to be in there,
just for versatility alone.
Yeah, I don't eat a lot of spuds.
What would be your top three?
I occasionally eat the spud version of the...
Is it the Karelian pie?
It's like a Scandinavian little pasty,
is what you'd call it.
You can have a rice version or a potato version
they're very nice
you get them in
the Swedish cafe
on Golden Square
and you always have
the egg butter
which is just literally
egg and butter
yeah I think
we used to meet in there
sometimes didn't we
we used to meet in there
sometimes and eat some of that stuff
Karelian pie
has your dad become
a really fussy eater
as he's got old
no he rarely eats he's got old? No, he rarely eats.
He's got a big fat belly, but it's booze related rather than anything else.
My dad's quite set in his ways with food.
He just wants to eat Chinese takeaways all the time.
I mean, to be fair, that's where I'm going to end up.
What's his Chinese order of choice?
He always has a foo young.
Right.
I think he does a curry, Chinese curry. Nice. He likes cho young. Right. Yeah. I think he does like a curry, Chinese curry.
Nice.
He likes chow mein.
Okay.
But he absolutely loves sesame prawn toast.
Oh, but that's nice.
But if they use old prawns, it's almost better.
It gives you like a tangy kind of like, whoa.
No, I mean, I don't know.
I'm no nutritionist or have any medical qualifications whatsoever,
but even the term old prawns
makes me think it's going to make you ill.
Yeah, it is.
It'll make you badly ill.
Gav Murphy works for IGN.
He's quite good at Twitter
and he tweeted a picture of him.
He was basically doing the meat at a barbecue
and he started saying,
I don't understand this Vogue
I've been looking on Instagram
of chefs cooking medium rare chicken. Oh medium i've heard about this yeah and he tweeted a picture
of like basically like a light salad and like this raw chicken leg with marinade on it um as a joke
um and he tweeted it and someone ate it and died well no but obviously everyone's just like oh my
god uh and it just kind of went viral
and people sort of retweeting it
going, oh, white people.
Right.
It's mad shit.
Are you just taking the piss?
So what's the actual truth behind it?
What do you mean?
Medium chicken and stuff.
Well, I think in some restaurants,
if you can kind of trace
the inception of the animal,
I think you can eat chicken and pork.
Nowadays, it's a lot safer
there's not quite so much
salmonella kicking around
because people know
where their food's coming from
but it'd be horrible
would it be horrible
I remember going to a
barbecue once
if it's dressed properly
if it's got a lot of
lime juice in there maybe
to kind of dry out a little bit
make it less greasy
I went to a
I went to a barbecue once Pete
yeah
and a roof garden
in South London
it wasn't anywhere near
as pretentious as I've made
that sound
it was just poor people
in London
who had a little roof terrace
because we couldn't afford gardens.
And there was a guy there
invited
who was a complete bellend
and he was telling everyone
that he's an old Etonian
and he was just this big head.
And he said,
well, I know all about
how to cook food
on the barbecue.
I'll just cook the food.
And I was like, all right, fine.
So we were just having beers, sat around.
He was on the barbecue.
Yeah, I've never understood men who insist on being the barbecue man
because you just don't get involved in the actual party.
You also end up stinking of smoke as well at the end of it.
Yeah, it's not for me.
Anyway, I will chip in if people need me.
I'm happy to do it.
But anyway, this guy was with his boorish mates
were just chatting away, being quite loud and obnoxious.
And I'm tempted to say posh,
but I don't want to be too sort of pejorative
about wealthier people.
Because you've got to take people as you find them.
Anyway, he serves me up this chicken in a bun.
I haven't said he was the best barbecue chef
in London or whatever.
And I bit into it.
It's raw in the middle.
Oh, no.
And I gave it back to him
and he went
oh no yeah
I don't know what happened
I'll tell you
it fucking happened mate
you haven't cooked it enough
put it back on the grill
and I got
you know when I get
sometimes I get quite
sort of indignant
quite obnoxious
I was being like that
and I think
my girlfriend at the time
was like come on
it's not worth it
have a burger
I love a burger
and then you eat the burger
it's fine
it's fine yeah
not if they bought
frozen from Iceland
you can't
no
anyway
so what was I saying
I went to a village
fete outside Bristol
the Westbury-on-Trim
village fete
very nice
you know when people
live in small little
places like that
and they have things
like village fetes
and then everything
around the village fete
is just like a big deal
you want to win
the cake competition
you want to win
this competition
and you want to
and if you're judging the cakes it's like the most important
job ever and that's very much what it was like it was a very pleasant affair but the people who
are doing the judging for example are taking it way too seriously yeah you've got like eight
year olds doing like handwriting competitions and they're getting like critiques by judging
i don't know why they're sort of i don't know is that what is that what
village communities were like back in the day because obviously we lost a lot of that with the
internet and you know maybe we've uh as we sort of evolved we enjoyed being a part of a tribe and i
think what it was telling me about how um tribalism in football sort of got started like men don't
have that anymore yeah and so they invest their their time in joining a kind of football tribe
sort of thing
is that what kind of modern
village life is like just aggressive people
trying to score points off people and gossiping
it sounds fucking dreadful
yes I don't know because I don't live in one
but Pete can you see yourself
as you get older moving out to the
countryside? I always
think of
the Stuart Lee
it's not sketch but
he's sort of talking
about a couple
moving out into the
sticks it's beautiful
it's beautiful out
here there's a
farmer's field behind
us and there's a
horse and you
should come come
this weekend come
come Saturday
Sunday stay over
the people who
live in London
so I've got just
just yeah we'll
have a great time.
I'll get some wine in there.
Bring some cock.
Just bring some cock.
Please,
please bring some cock.
And they're obsessed with bringing,
like,
because they,
you know,
they left behind something in London
that they want to.
So yeah,
I will move out eventually,
but I,
I don't subscribe to the fact
that anyone goes mad.
I'm happy by myself.
I'm happy kind of having a quiet kind of, kind of life. Well, I live in the center of town, but I don't subscribe to the fact that anyone goes mad. I'm happy by myself. I'm happy kind of having a quiet kind of life.
Disagree with that.
Well, I live in the centre of town,
but I don't, you know, I'm not out every night, am I?
No, but you surround yourself with things.
I surround myself with filth.
Yeah.
I surround myself with filth.
It's like the old,
have you had the Cole Pilkington take on The Countryside?
He's like, well, everyone says The Countryside's amazing,
it's brilliant, but it's all bullshit
because as soon as you go there, there's no one there.
Exactly. So if you liked it that much,'d fucking be there wouldn't you so maybe it's one of those things that grass is always greener type thing but um anyway should
we um go away and come back and do some emails all right then we'll be back in a second guys
so the first step is to find the right position for you. Put your hands down and lower your chest to the ground.
Just do that and pretend that you're holding poop in.
And it should sound a lot like this.
Oh, I still get a kick out of this, that guy.
He died of asphyxiation, not pumps.
That guy really sounds like someone famous.
And I was trying to put my finger on it.
Every time I hear it, I'm trying to put my finger on it, but I can't.
Well, when he's doing the voiceover, it seems that somebody's eating crisps.
Yeah, they are.
I don't know why.
Probably gives you pumps.
That is a man trying to show how you can suck in air into your bum and pump on demand.
Yeah.
It's a two-way street.
The bum is a two-way street, guys.
Have fun.
Knock yourself out.
Something you famously used to do as a teenager?
What do you mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I used to be able to have a crack.
My friends are better at it, though.
We've spoken about it before.
We don't need to delve back into my anus.
We don't need to.
We don't need to do anything.
All right.
Let's start off on that bombshell.
Let's start off.
Bombshell.
With an email from the beautifully named Bodie Carter.
Nice.
Or Bodie, maybe.
Bodie.
Anyway, he says, hello, lads.
Listening to episode 94
and hearing the chat
about family members
and the music business.
Bodie Cutler.
Huh?
Cutler.
Cutler,
that's what I said,
didn't I?
You said Carter.
I meant Cutler.
Cutler.
Yeah.
He said,
my father's not,
and my ears were burning
as Luke mentioned
his connection
to the Rolling Stones.
It's a very tenuous connection.
But anyway,
my father,
Sam Cutler,
is also a listener
to your podcasts and was the tour manager for the Rolling Stones. It's a very tenuous connection. But anyway, my father Sam Cutler is also a listener to your
podcasts and was the
tour manager for the
Rolling Stones from
1960 to 1969.
Oh, wow.
Where he was a major
character of the
documentary Give Me
Shelter.
As a classic old
British man, he loves
to yell about the
football and look for
other people, see you
guys to agree or
disagree with.
Now that I work in
football for the
Brisbane Roar and the
Australian A-League, he
has taken a keen
interest in the podcast I listen to about football and enjoys yours immensely. Keep up the good work, lads. or disagree with. Now that I work in football for the Brisbane Roar and the Australian A-League, he has taken a keen interest
in the podcast I listen to
about football
and enjoys yours immensely.
Keep up the good work, lads.
Hope to hear more great work
in the future.
Sam Cutler,
tour manager for the Rolling Stones,
is listening to us right now.
Is he listening to Luke and Pete show
or is he listening to the Football Ramble?
He emailed into the Luke and Pete show.
I know, it's confusing, isn't it?
He's got a massive long
Wikipedia article.
Has he?
Yeah.
Cutler, the name comes from the maker of knives.
Yeah, it does.
I've not actually seen Gimme Shelter,
so I need to watch that.
I might do that to bring myself up to speed
and then reread this email when it's more relevant.
But thanks for getting in touch, Bodhi.
Great name, great email.
Sorry to hear you're living in Australia, but good luck.
That's rude.
People in Australia listen to this.
I don't understand how people in Australia stay alive so long.
Everything you touch there kills you.
It's like Super Mario World.
It is.
Hello to, here we got Chris Hengler,
who sounds like a matter of wrestler, Chris Hengler.
Good name.
In episode 95, you mentioned a women's magazine
called Top Tips
which you justifiably
thought was ridiculous
but for me
it took my mind
back to a somewhat
strange experience
I had in a restaurant
in Serbia
back in 2012
I think we were
talking about
a top tip
that involved
if you don't have
a cup handy
carve
a hollow out of pepper
and drink water
out of that
which is weird
in early 2011
I studied for a PhD
in physics
the next summer
I attended a summer school
held over the course
of about a week
at the Pechnikata
Science Centre
for my friends at home
I always describe this place
as the Serbian
Kolomendi
but for anyone
not from Liverpool
or the surrounding areas
that's probably meaningless
for Luke and Pete listeners
it's basically
the Serbian
Stubbington
Study Centre,
which is a real tongue twister
for me. Right, okay. Now my interest
is piqued. Yeah. One evening towards the end of the
school, a large group of us took a short walk to a nearby
restaurant. Most of the route involved walking
along a quite steep trail through
the woods, lit by only our phones,
but somehow we made it all in one
piece. The food was actually quite good,
but what more sticks in my mind is the accompaniment.
Basically,
a yellow bell pepper
with its top cut off.
Inside it were two things.
One stick of sliced cheese
and a shot of vodka.
Delicious.
Isn't that weird?
All the major food groups covered.
In case that's all unclear,
I don't mean there was a shot glass
inside the pepper.
The vodka was just poured directly
into the decapitated pepper.
I can't speak there, sorry, and garnished
with cheese sticks. Out of fear of giving your
lessons a misleading impression of Serbian
cuisine, I should probably point out that there were a number of
Serbian students at the school. They were all
baffled by this, as the rest
of us were. Of course, we were
students, so we still drank it.
All of which means that I confirm that hollowed-out pepper
is indeed usable as a drinking receptacle,
although quite how pleasant it would be with hot drinks, I suspect it might be a different matter.
Thank you for the podcast.
Chris, thank you for the message.
Great.
All of that.
I like restaurants where the person who's decided to open it,
it's got like a little kind of mad idea that they think this is going to be our signature.
Yeah.
And it's mental.
That little story reminded me of that show Ready Steady Cook
right okay
where the chef
gets like a bag
full of ingredients
and he's just got to
make something out of it
the contestants
spent a fiver on
yeah
in this case
they spent a fiver on
a pepper
yeah
a bottle of vodka
and a load of cheese string
someone else emailed in
saying what you can do
is hollow out your peppers
when you're having a barbecue
right
and use them to drink beer out of.
And then when you finish drinking your beer,
chuck them on the barbie and they taste delicious.
A beer-flavoured pepper.
Apparently it tastes delicious.
It's dicking about, though, isn't it?
It is, yeah.
You're just going to get pulled seeds out of your mouth.
We used to put a can of beer up a chicken
and put it on the barbecue
and the beer bubbles out.
Is it chicken but beer or something?
Yeah, that's it.
Beer but chicken, I think it's called.
Very weird.
Do you want to do...
I can't read this. Do you want to do I can't read this
so do you want to do
Daniel Barrell's email
because it's a bloody doozy
the title
the title being
what dads bring home
the flavour of deception
oh Dan Barrell
yeah okay right
Dan Barrell
here we go
hi guys
I'm a long time listener
to all of the Ramble Guys
and the Leak and Puke show
since day one
road
you called it that.
And you finally draw me into
emailing him for the first time with your discussion
on things dads bring home from work.
My dad has worked
as a flavorist.
Sounds a bit like he runs some sort of
reggae sound system.
Flavor. The flavorist.
Selectar. For over 30 years.
What does this entail, you may ask?
Well, he is basically employed to formulate flavours
by big-name food brands
when they are thinking up new or improved products
which they then purchase, must produce.
Think Willy Wonka without the river of chocolate.
Some of his greatest hits would tickle your 90s nostalgia fancy,
such as Walker's Worcester Sauce Crisps.
Yeah.
The caramel flavour in McVitie's Caramel
Digestives, Lemon Fizzy Jerks, Apple Fruitangs, and Pineapple Flavoured Crisps, which bagged
him an interview with a local paper.
So he's responsible.
Dan Barrell's dad, Mr Barrell, Old chems. He's responsible for this in his lab.
As part of his work,
he would often bring home
a variety of weird
and wonderful treats
for me and my sister
to taste test.
My favourite being
a range of 20 different
formulations of chocolate,
vanilla and strawberry milkshakes
that we had to try and rate.
That's the dream right there
when you're a kid.
Best dad ever.
Dad of the year.
What's your dad brought home?
20 different milkshakes?
Cancel my homework. One day when I was about seven or's your dad brought home 20 different milkshakes cancel my homework
um one day when i was about seven or eight dad came home excited to give me a few samples of
a pineapple chewing gum that he had been working on for a number of weeks and wanted my opinion on
as always i was happy to oblige and popped a nondescript white gum in and got a chewing
after a few seconds i was intrigued and asked my dad to clarify what flavor it was meant to be
pineapple was the response as i continued to chew i became more and more confused and pointed out to
my dad this one was rubbish it didn't taste anything like pineapple and almost tasted smoky
to which he simply replied huh how odd it went down really well in our taste test never mind
he passed me the next gum sample which tasted a lot closer to pineapple we moved on
so fast forward 20 years to last may
and a square and a hamburger my stag do i overhear my friends talking to my dad about his job as it
often tends to insult a number of questions when he tells people what he does my dad a few beers
deep at this point explains to one of my mates that he used to mess around with flavors all the
time such as making a strawberry flavor but putting it into a green sweet which tricks your brain to
pre-empting an apple lime or mint flavor and takes quite a while for your brain to adjust he then went on to explain that
he once put a smoky bacon flavoring into a chewing gum and gave it to me just to mess with my head
at which point i piped up for 20 years he kept the secret from me and to this day i can still
remember the unpleasant experience of the smoky flavor of that bloody chewing gum my mates were
thoroughly amused and questioned how i didn't put two and two together
at the time. My only excuse is that
clearly the trust I had in my dad went a
long way to dispel any suspicion of being
hoodwinked. To my knowledge, there are no surviving
samples of the bacon flavoured gum available,
though given the astronaut food that
you recently devoured on the pod, if you do
have any requests, I could always see what dad
can whip up. Yes, please, Dan,
please get your dad to whip
up anything and send it to us um one other fun thing he brought home for me and my sister was
a bunch of rulers that were a solid block of glass with a vanilla pod in the middle wow fairly
certain this would be uh not considered safe by any measure these days but it was certainly not
because it was certainly not shatterproof it weighed an absolute ton and had sharp corners
to boot but hey ho the 90s were a wilder time.
I hope you find this mildly amusing
even if it doesn't get on the pod.
Well, it is on the pod, Dan.
And keep up the good work
and I would love you to do a live show
in the future in Manchester.
Well, there is literally no demand for that, Dan,
so that won't be happening.
Do you remember,
I presume the vanilla pod glass ruler
was from some kind of rep
from the chemical company
that provided a
vanilla flavoring maybe yeah they provide it because my mom used to work at a doctor's surgery
and all of the pens all of the rulers all of the calculators in the house um were branded up um with
drugs so i had a feldine gel um calculator um and i remember my cd teachers are coming over and going
oh feldine gel i use that for my snowboarding injuries.
Great merch.
Great merch, guys.
But that's wonderful.
And what I like about that is that he knows through, you know,
working in the business so long that the stupid flavours like bacon
and chicken flavour and nonsense like that probably,
they'd never come to market because they're just not marketable there's no point in
spending all that money you may as well make a delicious apple kind of flavored uh sweet rather
than something novelty because that because there's like the top tier of kind of the chewarts
and the fruit tellers and and the aforementioned um fruit tangs and then below that you've got
the stupid stuff that you see uh that's made in like Turkey that looks like a little burger in a little burger
that you always see
at the counter in a shop.
And they're like,
nobody really gives a shit about them.
There's no marketing spend behind that.
They're just whimsical and silly.
And you only get them in...
And I buy them every fucking night.
You only get them
in like local newsagents as well.
Yeah, hugely.
And one of the things
that local newsagents always do
is they always separate
multi-pack stuff
and sell it separately
even though you're not
allowed to do that.
Oh yeah massively.
Used to sell
spare cigarettes.
Fallon Chewing Gum
I tried on Holloway Road
which I believe
is a Turkish brand
tastes of nothing.
Like it just tastes
like gum without the flavour.
It's really weird.
Yeah.
Or maybe I just got
a dodgy batch.
One thing I would like
from Old Man Barrel
I shouldn't call him that
it's a bit disrespectful
for Daddy Barrel.
Flavour Daddy.
Yeah Flavour Daddy Barrel is one of the things that's always intrigued me and perhaps he can help me with this and I'm relying on old man barrel I shouldn't call him that it's a bit disrespectful for daddy barrel flavour daddy yeah flavour daddy barrel
is one thing
that's always intrigued me
and perhaps he can help me
with this
and I'm relying on you Dan
to go and speak to your dad
and relay it back
is roast beef crisps
yeah
they always taste the same
but then they don't taste
anything like beef
well it's hard to do though
isn't it
beef
I think
beef is like oil and texture
isn't it
yeah definitely
and salt
and I'm not slating them because I've eaten them i'm just saying why do we as a as a as a group of
human beings accept that they're branded up as roast beef and they don't taste anything like
roast beef it's almost like roast beef crisp have a completely different life cycle to roast beef
well prawn i mean prawn cocktail has the tang of the um mayonnaise kind of uh sauce with it i don't know what you call it's a thousand island dressing mary rose yeah like it has the tang of the mayonnaise kind of sauce with it.
I don't know what you call it.
Is it Thousand Island dressing?
Mary Rose sauce.
Mary Rose sauce.
Yeah.
Like it has the tang of that,
but precious little else.
And it kind of smells a little bit like fish.
Like that's,
it's the whole experience.
But yeah,
meat must be quite hard to sort of do
because it's all texture.
I think it would probably work more in chewing gum.
So yeah,
roast beef chewing gum,
please.
No,
who wants that?
It would be great.
No,
but it would be great for people who are following
a particular diet,
protein head,
stuff like that.
Protein chewing gum.
Chewing gum with like
more protein than you need.
But you're not consuming it
though, are you?
I am.
I love a bubblicious,
that's what I,
is a bubblicious kind of flavour
of extra chewing gum?
It's like,
I don't know.
Lovely.
I find that the only,
the light blue Wrigley's Extra
give me the flavour hit I need in terms of mint chewing gum. Airwaves, get on the airwaves, boss. They don't last very long. They're violent. I want that only the light blue Wrigley's Extra give me the flavour hit I need in terms of mint chewing.
Airwaves, get on the airwaves, boss.
They don't last very long.
They're violent.
I want to do one quick email before we go,
because this is a good one,
and it's from David Tunnicliffe,
who's emailing us all the way from Sonneberg in Germany.
Hi guys, Pere Grundig's and the old wireless mouse.
Nice.
Good start.
After listening to your discussion of expensive brandy and champagne,
and particularly Luke's comment that you don't shop brandy,
my mind was immediately drawn to a video I saw of a man who purchased and drunk
a shot of the world's most expensive brandy.
Yes.
Jason Wong, a Chinese businessman,
paid 68,000 Hong Kong dollars, or roughly 6,500 pounds,
for a single shot of Croisé Cuvée Leonie 1858 in 2016. He was presented with a drink at the Intercontinental in Hong Kong and
set a Guinness World Record with his purchase. The reason the brandy is so expensive is because
there was a plague of beetles called Phylloxera in the latter part of the 19th century which fed
on the roots of grapevines. The beetle was to north america and so the vines there had an inherent resistance however at some point the beetle made its way over
to europe where it feasted on the much less resistant vitis vinifera with reckless abandon
with their vine stocks falling many smaller wine and cognac producers were forced to give up the
crop in flavor of cereals to ensure they could continue to earn a living from their fields
any vintners wanting to continue to make wine and cognac
had to plant phylloxera-resistant vines.
In some cases, it took over a decade to find plants
that would suit the soil conditions in a particular region,
and only the larger producers prevailed,
and the industry changed beyond recognition in just a few decades.
Anyway, for Jason Wong, the scene is set,
the bottle is introduced,
and the story behind the brand is explained to the gathered journalists.
The sommelier does a fantastic job
of opening the 160-year-old bottle,
imagine if he'd fucked that up,
and pours Mr. Wong a glass
of the world's most expensive brand.
I've watched this.
They're very careful to open it,
and they do it beautifully.
He proceeds to throw back his head
and neck the entire shot in one.
He does actually go for it,
and it lingers in the mouth for about five seconds
and then he swallows it
and then he just goes,
yeah, thumbs up.
Yeah.
In what is an incongruously
undignified end
to such an expensive liquid
as David puts it.
Apparently though, Pete,
according to David,
to add to the ignominy,
Mr Wong's toast
was in honour of Donald Trump
who had been elected
US President that very day.
It wasn't all bad though
as the money raised from the purchase
was donated to an AIDS charity in Hong Kong.
You can watch the video yourself here,
and you've already done that, Pete.
So the world's most expensive shot of brandy
was found in one by a Hong Kong businessman.
And what I like about that is,
and I do say that quite a lot,
what I like about that is that
all of the people who are really at their cognacs
and really at their, you know, again,
fetishised drinking food and stuff,
really upset about that. So maybe
he's kind of my hero, apart from
the Trump stuff. Well, if he was trying to subvert
it, then that's fine. But he's just
obviously an idiot. See you later.
I'm either going to be
bullshit about this and stick
two fingers out about how wealthy I am,
or I'm just
an ignoramus and have no idea about it.
Tap the table.
But the thing is, though, Pete, I'm completely convinced,
just so you know, if you put a five-pound shot measure of brandy
in front of me and a six-and-a-half-thousand measure of brandy
in front of me and I tasted them, I don't know if I'd be able to tell you
the difference.
I think alcohol that's really, really old starts to, you know,
just by its very nature will start to kind of die, won't it?
It'll just start to taste like absolute rot.
Well, you sometimes hear about those cases of wine that are found in shipwrecks
and stuff, like hundreds of years later.
I don't know if they're drinkable or not.
It's out of vinegar, eventually.
And I get that knowledge from the video game Day of the Tentacle,
also another Tim Schafer jointfer have you got a tattoo of that
no
but if I was
I'd probably get the character
Bernard
because he
has glasses like me
when are you going in
for your Luke and Pete show
tattoo mate
well it's next week
isn't it
100
yeah
laps
there we go
100 laps
of the laps
should we get out of here
Peter
I think we've subjected
the people to
more than enough of our nonsense.
Let's have some beef chewing gum.
There's one takeaway from this show. It is beef chewing gum.
Do email us at helloalookandpete show.com
if you want to get in touch. We'd bloody love
to hear from you. You're all very welcome.
And that's pretty much all I've got to say,
Peter. You might want to bring the music in underneath me.
You see a lot of weird flavours
in American classic candy
stores. You get a lot of weird flavours in American classic candy stores
you get a lot of
like root beers
that have the flavour
of like ranch dressing
and stuff
they're not very nice
but they do taste like
the thing they're supposed to
you're the sort of man
who'd explore that sort of stuff
though aren't you
hugely
yeah alright
we'll see you next week
have a lovely time
this weekend
and we'll look forward
to talking to you again
next week
flavour daddy
flavour week flavour daddy flavour