The Luke and Pete Show - Lads mags in particular

Episode Date: December 26, 2024

Happy Boxing Day! Hope you and yours are having a smashing festive week - certainly more than a listener who emailed in with a shudderingly cringe Christmas proposal story…We then celebrate Christmas in the only way we know how: by charting the bizarre history of Lads’ mags and sifting through some disappointing battery submissions. Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram for tales of festive cheers, beers and rears.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you're looking for flexible workouts, Peloton's got you covered. Summer runs or playoff season meditations, whatever your vibe, Peloton has thousands of classes built to push you. We know how life goes. New father, new routines, new locations. What matters is that you have something there to adapt with you, whether you need a challenge or rest. And Peloton has everything you need, whenever you need it.

Find your push. Find your power. Peloton. Visit Peloton at One you need. Whenever you need it, find your push. Find your power. Peloton. Visit Peloton at OnePeloton.ca. ["Boxing Day"] Boxing day. It's Christmas now, it's boxing. It's boxing day. It's boxing, boxing day. Boxing, it's Boxing Day, it's Boxing, Boxing Day.

Am I editing this? Luke, am I editing this bloody Christmas Boxing Day special? Not in your current state. Not in my bloody current state. I'm full of turkey and mince pies and I was planning on getting, what do you call them? Christmas cake made. I was going to make a Christmas cake. Too late now.

Well it is Too late now? Well it is too late now. Even though we are pre-recording this earlier, I know for a fact I haven't made that Christmas cake. No. I had such a very weak will to do it in the first place. You also spent a lot of time fighting Ken Varganshut. I did spend a lot of time fighting Ken Varganshut.

You worked the body because that's what he said is allowed. Ha ha ha ha! Yeah. Let me see you working the body right now. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. One of them. One of them. You're going to bust out that shirt. You carry on. Is that tight shirt on you? Is it? It's, um, I've just to sit in a certain position. I put on a bit of timber. I don't mind. I just wanted to know if it was going to be an accident or not. Well, I don't know. Yeah. I mean, it's quite, it is quite a tight shirt. May I just say something that I may later regret? Right.

Because it's got a design down the buttons. It really does show up when it's struggling. Look at mine. It's the same fabric. But mine's got a little pattern that sort of says, Peter's in trouble. Which just seems like... Peter's been eating Pretamoros sausage. Don't fold your arms.

Don't be self-conscious about it. I'll crush them, Lin. It just looks like something't fold your arms. Let's be self-conscious about it. Don't crush them, Lin. It just... Um... It just looks like something's trying to escape. I know, I know. Well, what I did was, I didn't know what size, I just needed a few new shirts. I went to Next and I was like,

I don't really know what size I am. What shirt did you go for in the end? Well, I just went for, you know, those packeted ones. So we've spoken about them before. So much packaging. So much packaging. And like, I was like, right, okay, I'm at 17 and a half. You're not 17 and a half neck. Is that not right? No way. What's that, is that bad? I'm 17 and a half. I'm at 17 and a half neck. You're not 17 and a half neck. No way.

I'm 17 and a half. Alright 14 and a half. I don't know whatever I was. I just kept on going. I just kept on going and going. Until it was just too short. It was just too small for crying out loud. It says regular fit. How much did you pay for it? 20 quid. I don't know. That's not bad. It's not bad. But I just went, I think I went too small.

If you were doing a TV gig today, don't fold your arms again, it's fine. No, it's fine. Don't be self-conscious. Could you wear that shirt for, if you did a TV gig today, would you wear that? Yeah, well I'd sit up straight, wouldn't I? That helps. Do it now then. There you go.

What are you doing? It looks weird. That's what people with good posture look like. You're quite barrel-chested now, like me. I know. Marcus, Marcus! From the Ramble, you're kicking a little bit of piece of paper around. And Marcus, like when the ball would go under like a table and stuff, like Marcus is so

broad, he's terrible at retrieving anything from under a table. I can't get it. That's absolutely, I've never seen anything like, I don't think about Marcus being that broad and then when I see him fishing something from under the table. When I see Marcus on all fours, he's like a lion, an alpha lion. But he is broad. I'm broad. I feel like what seems to happen as you get older, this is a good time to talk

about it because it's boxing day. You've probably been eating a lot of food by now. The goose has gotten fat. Yeah. You're, it's not like you necessarily put on actual noticeable body fat, but I just really hard to explain. You just get thicker. Yeah. Inside you gets bigger. In your trunk. Inside you gets bigger. So I'll tell you what happened. I'll tell you an example of this. Your soul gets heavier. My weight fluctuates quite a lot. Right. And, um, I was, I said this to you

before, I've got probably about three different wardrobes because I have to have them. And I remember probably around May, June of this year, I was lighter than I've been for three, four years, still couldn't wear some of the stuff. Because my shape had changed. Your whole body shape changes. There's nothing you can do about it. Do you think that like, I think that, um, I, because I did when I lost about a storm, um, due to stress and, uh, not drinking quite so much, but, um, uh, I do sort of think that, um, when you, I reckon I have the capacity to lose a storm and I could probably do it

in a decent time. Right. Yeah. But now anyone, like people just lose weight because they all don't tablets don't they so it's not really that much people doing that I think people are I think people who have got a bit of bunce about them so I get doctor described the old Zempik and then they're just a bit of yeah I really know how many people actually do in Zempik though you reckon in America maybe I don't think it's like the like Viagra went high street Do you think that like, I reckon it's probably, I think it's probably

Azempik will be high street sooner rather than later. It's not at the moment. No, of course it isn't. It's like, you can buy it, you can buy it, I don't know, can you buy it over the counter? You can buy Viagra over the counter now, definitely can't you? No, no, you certainly can't buy Azempik. It's a, it's a probably class B substance or something. Because I was thinking that I feel denser and heavier as I get older, which doesn't make any sense because apparently your bones get more porous as you get older. Right, so you should be light like a toffee crisp.

Because I was trying to work out why that is and I was wondering if that's why boxers find it difficult to make weight as they get older. But the only thing I could find was that some scientific paper said that it's to do with how quickly the lipids turn over in your fat tissue, which means it's harder to lose weight or easier to gain weight. So you're basically, I guess what they're saying is your body's not as efficient. So you just get heavier.

It's getting into the minutiae. Doesn't it really? If you're like worrying about that, like it is just. I'm not worried about it. It's just more an observation. Yeah. But would you, so you used to be rake thin, right? And then you always had a little froggy belly though.

You got ripped for a while. Didn't you as well? Ripped for a while. Yeah. That was a, when was that? 2013. 10 years ago. I've never been ripped.

No, but it's harder to do. So it's like Big Shaw when he got abs. He's like, no one needs to see that. What do you mean? When Big Shaw got abs. What would you do if I walked in there with abs? I'd be, uh, the problem is you would get them out all the time. I'd be sick of looking at them. That's disappointing. What do you mean? That's disrespectful. If you did that, you'd get them out. Not in the workplace. Last time you lost a bit of work work you showed me the difference. I can't remember what it was but I remember seeing your belly a lot. You and me. Just you and me. Yeah and the cameras. If you want to go down this road Peter. I don't want to go down any road.

I once went out there to answer a knock at the door and came back and you were totally naked. It fell off. It fell off. In the workplace. Greg Wallace. Don't be invoking the Greg Wallace principle. GW. GW. So many stories about Greg that I wish I could tell. They're just coming at the woodworker everywhere. Be the change you want to be in the world. Let's get us sued. He's too busy. He's too busy. It's race to the bottom, isn't it?

Race to the bottom. It's race to the bottom, yeah. I once saw John Turrode, who isn't implicating this very clearly, shouting at someone down the phone loudly in a pub with a pair of bright orange shorts on. He was... Well, it's just, did he have the... I presume he had a top on. Was he telling someone out to cook something? No, he was just complaining about some kind of delivery, not turning up or something. Like, cause what I would say is- Maybe it was some very important foie gras that he needed.

This is not problematic to say. I'm just going to put it out there as a matter of fact. It's absolutely true. Not a problem. It's not actionable in any way. John Turode has tried to distance himself from Greg Wallace since this has happened. He's never been friends with them though. I think that was the main thing, wasn't it? They like Turode said, yeah, we're not mates. Yeah.

Best man at his wedding in 2016. Was he? Yeah. Is that for the Hello shoot though? Is that keeping up appearances? But when he, when he had that put to him, he said, or one of them said, we were very close to each other physically during filming, which is a really weird thing to say. I only had a couple of days off, he needed a best man.

Yeah. It's a bit, what's this science TV show where they test stuff. Mythbusters. Mythbusters. They don't get on. The bloke who looks like a weird German beret man. He looks a bit German. I don't think I can even picture him. One of them looks like Jeff Lloyd to the ready percent there and the other one looks like...

What's Jeff up to now by the way? He's working with Miliband won't he? Well, with Miliband for a bit yeah. I don't think he does his broadcast anymore. But do you have to like... I mean we don't really get on that well do we? What do you mean? We don't see each other. Well, but like, I would say that I see you more than anyone I know. Yeah.

It's mad though, isn't it? Well, I say, I mean, obviously we get on. Like, we WhatsApp each other quite a lot. Yeah. You aggressively WhatsApp me one particular thing. It's a meme. Listen, if you're out there and... We share a lot of memes.

You make me so bad by saying that, but all I'll say is that, you know, to this, to the people listening to this show, it is objectively funny. Right. What you send me. No, to send the same annoying thing on WhatsApp every day around the same time. So every single time you open your phone and go, I've got a notification from Luke. Yeah, I know exactly what it's going to be. Yeah.

There's a comedy in that. A picture of Mussolini. It's not that. It's disgusting. Because Danny Kelly once told to me, people think that the kind of secret to comedy is timing. It's not. It's repetition. If you settle on something and it's got a basic level of being funny, you do it over and over again, sooner or later people will love it. And that's what I'm doing to you. I reckon in like 2028,

you'll think it's funny. Yeah. I don't think it will. But we do share a lot of stuff on WhatsApp. But what I'm saying is that what people don't understand is like, I remember once, so for example, I remember once doing a round-the-leap, I mean a big heated row on it, me and Marcus. Right. And and Marcus. I saved row. It was a big disagreement on the show. And then that weekend I was in a pub and a couple of lads came over, lovely lads, lovely pair of boys. They said, like the show, stuff you have a beer, just chatting with them. And they were like, oh yeah, we listen to the show. Can't believe that you guys are going to record again on Monday. That's the fallout.

Yeah. And I was like, it isn't like that. It's different. The real problems come out of nowhere. Yeah, exactly. It's never as argued on the podcast. No way, because it's a job, right? It's a different thing. As soon as the mics go down again, it feels different. It's a different dynamic. And if you've got a woman in love, have a little oily wrestle on the floor, that's absolutely fine. You're talking about Oliver Reed there.

You're not talking about actual women wrestling, you're talking about yourself wrestling in front of the fire. Whatever works. Who was Oliver? Alan Wicker. Who was Alan Wicker? Who was it? Alan Shearer. Who was Oliver Reed wrestling in front of a fire on a bearskin rug? He was... Alan Bates. Alan Shearer, who was Oliver Reed wrestling in front of a fire on a bearskin rug? He was um... Alan Bates. Alan Bates, right, okay, nice, okay.

I mean that's a classic scene that. Absolutely classic scene. Is that the only um, I don't know what the film was about. I know the why really. And I think if I heard there are some oiled up people wrestling on a rug and it's called Women in Love, I'd be like, that sounds like something I don't want to watch as a teenager, but I don't think it was exactly what I want to watch. It's a romantic drama.

Ooh, romantic drama. Speaking of that, that was a really interesting element of that documentary about Loaded and Lads Mags. Have you seen it? Right. Okay. It's a feature-length documentary on iPlayer. It's called Loaded, Lads and something. There's a lot of like pods documentaries about Lads magazine in particular at the moment and I think it's just I don't think the times I don't think we've changed all that much. I think we sort of pretend that we've changed but it wasn't that long ago. Loaded is called Lads, Mags and Mayhem and the documentary it traps the rise and

fall of a magazine that came to define the voice of the 90s. It's really interesting detail though because there's a couple of things now I forgot that like Loaded started out as actually a proper countercultural thing. Yeah I can see that. It's only later on. It became grut. Yeah. But I think I think it was I think FHM and that, they were like, they did do other stuff than

Lassers didn't they? And then Nuts and Zoo turned up and then it was just Waterwall Grot wasn't it? I was a Bazaar magazine guy, where it was like UFOs and stuff. And then there'd be like this paper, sort of more disposable part of the magazine that was kind of like connected. So if you were in the news edge, you couldn't open it because it was like closed off. And then when you got it home, you're like, we'll open it up. And that's where the real grot was. But you had to pay for that. Yeah. Cause that's what reminded me. Guts in corsets.

Talking about, talking about teenage angst for want of a better phrase, they were saying in this documentary, oh yeah, well part of the reason that it was so successful or some of them were so successful was because they'd put an attractive woman holding clothes on the cover and it was before the internet and so boys were basically just wanking to catalogues. It was an acceptable way of being able to get a hold of something that wasn't age restricted. Yes. Which didn't make it like a dirty old pervert. And that's where, that's how it got it's in. But if you, if you, look, I'm always pretty suspicious about the mythologising of how things happened around Loaded. Cause the stuff they talk about, oh, this is what it was like to work at Loaded. Like, was it really though? Was it really though?

Just, I mean, yeah, fine. But some of the stuff they got up to, yeah, exactly. There was a lot of stuff they got up to was quite interesting from a journalistic point of view. So, I mean, yeah, fine. Yeah, exactly. A lot of stuff they got up to was quite interesting from a journalistic point of view. So the guy who, one of the guys who worked under James Brown, said that he was like, essentially, he's like obsessed with Hunter S. Thompson, like gonzo Jones and stuff like that in the sixties. So that's why he went to, he would just fly to like Cannes with no tickets and just see how he'd get into somewhere. But that's where like, um, like that, that take into it was like Vice magazine, wasn't it? That's how that kind of like, I'm having a chemsex party in North London tonight.

You know what I mean? I explored the chemsex world. It's exactly like that. And, um, what they said was quite interesting as well was that, oh yeah, the magazines were so important. And I remember this because when you used to go to work and get on the bus, you would need a magazine or a book, obviously, because there's no other way of passing the time, which sounds mental now, but that was absolutely the case. And these magazines- Could you read any sort of grotty magazine on a bus stop?

You could read Loaded. Could you? Yeah, I could. I probably did. They sold almost, I think at one point they were selling 600,000 copies a week. Good you? Yeah, I could. I did. They sold almost, I think, at one point they were selling 600,000 copies a week. Good God. Yeah. He said, the guy who ran the business side of it on the documentary was saying like, they made this magazine, they got the funding, they went to go and do it. There's a real gap in the market for it. You know, they would

properly live in the brand. So I get it. And they understood their audience really well, of course. And he said, like one day, a guy from, I can't remember the publisher, EMAP or something, came in and was like, yeah, so it's sold out. And he was like, what? The magazine's completely sold out? He was like, right. That's a failure to prepare.

And he was like, yeah, he was like. You left the order on the other table, well done. He's like, and that's never happened before. Right. Yeah, see you next month, kind of thing. Right. So it was a proper phenomenon. Jailor's wearing a sweater and you could see all of her legs. That's what that was.

Were you working there as well? I was working there. You would definitely have been the guy they send out. What do you mean? Sort of what? Delivering newspapers? You could have easily, you're ex-FM's cheeky Pete, but you could have easily been loaded at loader's cheeky Pete. Yeah, loader's cheeky Pete, Yeah. I'm a fish out of water. You can't write, can you?

No, I could file copy audio wise, couldn't I? Were you a bizarre man? I was a bizarre man, yeah. I think I was an FHM loaded man. Sarah was an FHM once. She was like a radio, lady radio DJ sort of feature basically. Lady-o DJ? In a, in a, in a, in a concert kind of vibe.

You're being serious? Yeah. How do you feel about that now? It did nothing to do with me. How does she feel about it? Absolutely fine. It wasn't like, it wasn't up, it was classy. Be honest. Don't say it was classy and laugh.

It was, I don't know how to say it. Be honest. She said it was like a kind of like a, here's a good news before my time. It was a good look. Like I am a good looking, uh, really DJ check me out kind of advertorial sort of thing. It did wonders for all the career. You didn't get the call though. I didn't get the call. No, I'd love to see you in that shirt with your mustache. When we show off just open, just open, let it all fly. Is open. What? One, one not hanging out, one not hanging

out one pocket inside my pocket pulled out on one side. One nut hanging out. One nut hanging out. One pocket, the inside of my pocket pulled out on one side. You've wet yourself. That's your nuclear option. Someone's wet and they've wet themselves. That's the real story of what I did on the train going up to Salford. Exactly. Let's have a break. When we come back we've got some Christmas emails to do. We haven't done any Christmas stuff Pete on Boxer Day. That's true. Producer Taylor, who's not here at the moment, is going to be fucking pissed off with us. Yeah. And she's well over our rights and we've got to do batteries as well for fuck's sake.

Alright. If you're looking for flexible workouts, Peloton's got you covered. Summer runs or playoff season meditations, whatever your vibe. Peloton has thousands of classes built to push you. We know how life goes. New father, new routines, new locations. What matters is that you have something there to adapt with you, whether you need a challenge or rest. And Peloton has everything you need. Whenever you need it. Find your push. Find your power. Peloton. Visit Peloton at OnePeloton.ca.

T'was the season of chaos and all through the house, not one person was stressing. Holla differently this year with DoorDash. Don't want to holla do the most? Holla don't. More festive, less frantic. Get deals for every occasion with DoorDash. Hey, it's Luke and Pete here. I'm Pete Donaldson and for crying out loud, let's do some bloody batteries. out loud, it's Thursday, it's what we do. Boxing day batteries.

So start from Austin, that's where we got to last time. Start from Austin. Austin, been a long time since I last emailed, I'm the VFX artist that worked on The Last of Us and Star Trek Strange New Worlds. Oh yeah, lovely Austin, great to hear from you again. Naughty Dog are back with a brand new game. It was an excellent game awards this year. Lots of good stuff coming. What game have they got coming out? Coming down the pipe. What games are coming out? Naughty Dog are coming out with a new one. What is it? Space. Do you know? It's in space. I can't wait for GTA 6 It's hopefully gonna be a big 2025 because the industry is on its fucking Yeah, I also don't think that New Witcher. Oh, yeah, Witcher 4. I'm looking forward to that as well.

What platforms? It'll be on everything I'm sure. I don't think the people in the gaming industry when it comes towards the time to release a game Work hard enough. No, no, exactly. I think they should crack the whip, please. Less pay. What? Less pay. Yeah, yeah. Did you see what the budget for GTA 6 is? It's been a long time, hasn't it, since GTA 5? I think I read the budget for GTA 6 was two billion. Yeah. And they'll get it back on day one. Would you have that? Does that sound right?

Two billion, yeah, I could see that happening. Yeah. Well, anyway, Austin's doing the Lord's work. Yes, since my first email, I've been fortunate enough to continue working through the White Writers and Actors Strike. Shout out to the massively underappreciated post-production workers. The Wi-Fi Access 2 also welcomed our first child. Congratulations, Austin. Was it CGI? Could have been CGI. Could have been a CGI kid, couldn't it? It's been a crazy couple of years, but overall things are great. We just took our six month old to Ottawa to see his grandparents before the holiday season,

where he got a block train that sings the alphabet, apparently. After removing the battery, just started from singing in my bag the whole flight home, I saw a brand I haven't heard of, and don believe the show has announced Vinik. Oh dear. Oh dear. V-I-N-N-I-C hopefully 2026 brings the ramble out west and we can see you in Vancouver ahead of the World Cup where Canada looks to shock the world once more. Again another stinker. I was shocked us last time, alright? Apparently, we'll come on to how poor your battery trace was, PS My Son will make his feature debut next year because he's used a video of his arm to make a prop baby look more alive. Happy to expand that more in a future AML that isn't so long winded. He has told us what the title is,

I don't really know what it is. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. So even if we sort of made it clear which film it was, yeah, we're in the, apparently the baby is in a film. So well done, baby. Well done, Austin. But I mean, you've had an absolute stinker with this toy train battery.

Yeah, because you're the 38th person to send it in, Austin. Oh dear. But we look forward to, maybe we can reveal what film it is at a later date once it's out there. And he's appended a picture of said baby eating blueberries? Blackberries. Blackberries. I mean, that is, choosing things for a baby to eat, that is madness. I mean, I'll tell you what, I would say. It's everywhere. And it's red. Really deep red. Six months old feeding yourself, very advanced baby, good on him.

And I'm finding babies very cute these days, turns out. Is it an illness that will end anytime? Because I just see babies now and I go oh yeah you know when I was flippant about like, you know, murderers in the past, now I'm like, nah, don't kill it. Don't do that. Don't kill the baby. Why are you talking about killing babies? My honest answer is I always look at babies and think that kids are not as cute as my kid. Right. Okay. Yeah. No, I think- Because my kid is objectively cute. I think they're all great. Yeah, I do too. I do too. All right. Next. Who's the next person?

I'm just saying I'm becoming a bit soft in my old age. Morning look at the Pets at Griggs of Perth Australia, new Christmas tree lights for the household this year and with this comes some shiny new AA batteries. The workhorse of the battery world. Certainly is. May I present a trio of light works. Super heavy duty with a cameo from Winnie the Poohs. Winnie the Wells laziest gold retriever to hopefully curry favour. It's a goal retriever, it's a lazy dog, but there's a battery. Don't get the battery near the dog's mouth, that's not ideal. But Lightworks, super heavy duty, it's got a good design, I'm enjoying it. Yeah, it's a great battery, we don't hear from it much.

Spelled L-Y-T-W-O-R-X, but I'm afraid you are the third person to send them in. So there's no new player there, unfortunately no Christmas treat for you there. Oh, we're gonna steal your dog, because he's too cute. Winnie, or she, Winnie, will have to come live with us at Looking Pete's Shot Towers. So that's a real... Think of the admin of that though, you've already got two dogs, you maniac. That is a real shame. Stephanie, hello looking Pete.

I'm a more recent listener. Started in the last calendar year. Never miss an episode. Not much of a boast if it's in the last calendar year. No, it's still two a week though. Yeah. What's the percentage? How many years have we been doing this?

Six? I think we've been doing this for seven years. Yeah. It's a 15%, less than 15% performance. Yeah, up your game, Stephanie. Awful, Stephanie. I've always wanted to find a battery submission and finally found a chance Although I am only 15% hopeful that it's this new player

My husband tagged a deer this past weekend Does that mean killed presumably? Well he's processing the meat so unless it was removed by biopsy it sounds very much like it It's doing it over He used our kitchen scale to wear four pound portions to freeze the scalers had a lot of use lately and completely cut out while he was midway upon opening the battery compartment I found these large AAAs with such a common name I bet you've seen them before impossible to search for I imagine

but this might be my chance to find a submission kids toys that make noise are partially banned in the house. I've got a very strong line on dog balls as well. Not in the house. He gets too stressed out. Fair enough. They're also covered in drool, aren't they? Uh, yeah, that's fine. That's, that's by and large the issue, um, that I can deal with. Uh, yeah.

So large, um, with a, the G kind of looks a bit like a cube, but no, it is large alkaline battery, um, is it a new but no, it is large alkaline battery. Is it a new player? So it is not a new player. We've seen many of these before. Special shout out to Stephanie's antlers in the background of the photo and a couple of dollar bills. Is this a bribe? As well, it might be. Could this bribe to get them in the battery daddy?

Two dollars. Wow. It's not going to work, is it? Whoa. Amazing. You just got yourself the lion's share of a tip for a bellboy. I'm afraid they've been sitting 35 times before, at least Stephanie. So you're not a new player on that front, I'm afraid. But do keep trying. You never know when the next battery is going to pop up. How long can you keep deer meat for?

How long can you keep any meat in a freezer? It can't be like ages. Can't be longer than like four months, six. That would be the that would be the ideal storage conditions. A deep, deep freeze, one of your four star ones. Four star generals. Well, this may not be the greatest example, but you know the other week I told you, I read that book, The Lost Men, about the Ross Sea party who are aiding Shackleton.

And they were partly relying on frozen food that had been left by previous expeditions. Right. Two, three years before. And they were eating like frozen, pen mccann, frozen seal meat, frozen other stuff. And they were fine. I say fine. They were in terrible state. It was fine. It was fine. So I think you could probably, for me, the general rule is if it's freezer burnt, I'm not eating it. If it's what? Freezer burned? What do you mean? I don't like it. You know what freezer burnt means? Right. But something's been in the freezer too long so it's hard to explain. It looks like it's double frozen. You know what freezer burnt means right? No I don't think I've ever experienced anything freezer burnt to be honest. I'm gonna look at an image hang on freezer burnt image.

It's just gonna be fingers. It's gonna be people's fingers. So it looks like that. Right, hang on. Oh! Looks like I'll be snoring it. Um. That's freezer burn, see? Oh yeah, okay. I think that's a bad sign. Freezer burn, that's a bad sign. I can't explain why. Yeah. I just sort of think that if you, if you read the packets for anything, it always sort of says you can freeze this for three months maximum, but I know that's not the truth the truth the God-honest truth I think things last for like two years but they just don't want you eating them. Yeah give them a sniff. Give them a sniff. That's what I would say. Do you want to um should we end with an email to make it a Christmas themed

episode technically. Yeah. I mean I would ask for now, the email is horrific but it is Christmas theme. It's from Joe and he says, bear with me here, he says, hi Luke and Pete, I haven't emailed since the anechoic chamber discussions of 2020. Remember that? Great times. I just said it's that chamber that you go in that's so quiet due to lots and lots and lots of it's sound insulation. Sends you mad. Sends you mad because you can hear your own blood. The world record of blood sounding in one is like 40 minutes or something. I would love to go in one to see what it's like.

Anyway, he says, my Christmas story is the best and maybe simultaneously the worst Christmas of my life to date. Back in 2019, I proposed to my long suffering girlfriend on Christmas Day, her favourite time of the year. Lovely. It's lovely. So far so good, Peter. We've been together since we were teenagers and I wanted to catch her off guard and make the inevitable special as our planned trips away were becoming far too obvious proposals. After opening our main Christmas presents, I wanted to distract her while I got down

on one knee and decided to give her a joke present to open, which was a large box of ribbed durex. Turns out it's not something women want to associate with their dream proposal. While stunned by my appalling sense of humor and occasion, she did indeed say yes and we're happily married yet still with differing opinions on comedy. While this was my happiest Christmas ever, it definitely counts as a bad one as well. I'm unable to live down the shame of my failed joke. All our friends and family know the story

and my wife is also quick to remind me of my lack of romantic prowess whenever remotely relevant. I'm also still mortified I ruined one of our life's greatest memories with a box of condoms. Merry Christmas, Joe. You just can't, Alan. You can't.

Like, it's just one of those things you can't fuck about with. Births, deaths, marriages. You just can't fuck about with it. How would you know? You haven't proposed have you? Well, if I ever do, I'm not going to do that. What are you going to do? You'll have a condom on your head. Two condoms. I'll stick it in my head and blow it up. Yeah, you can't mess about that sort of thing. How did you do your... I proposed on the top of the Old Man of store on Sky. Right. Okay.

I know it was one of my wife's favourite spots. Right. And it was very, very nice and peaceful and beautifully picturesque, but also crucially for me, which may surprise some people listening, there was no one else around. Yeah. Which is very important to me. And it was as far away from your normal life together that she forgot briefly that this was a good idea. The upshot was that I was like, all right, let's get this done. It was really lovely. We had a little sit on top of the mountain and just had a little look around for a bit. Is that, do you reckon why people do them out in and just had a little look around for a bit. Is that, do you reckon why people do, um, do it in nice places? Because, um, it basically says, this is what you're in for.

Do you know what I mean? Like people do it on holiday, don't they? I just think it's like, rather than just you, what you should do is, you know, pre-menstrual everyone's, um, everyone's got sickness bug. Um, do it on one of those days because then it's gonna, this is, this is, this is my base level. It's all up uphill from here. It's all better than what you're experiencing right now. Yeah. If people did need an explanation as to why you're not married.

Not for the one I'm asking. It's just a nice thing to do. Just do it on a day where, you know, just everything's's everything's gone to shit and they're having a bad time. Was there ever a position a situation when you handed over your radio show to the partner you have access to? Yeah lots of times. So you could have done it then? Could have done it then. That'd have been cringe wouldn't it? That would have been cringe. I don't really understand people who do it. Hit the vocals on the killers Mr Brightside. She's not said yes yet. Pete, I would say yes, but I'm afraid you've broken the no repeat guarantee again.

So I simply cannot accept. No repeat guarantee because you've asked me five times. What about people who do it at stadiums? Yeah, it's risky, isn't it? Doing it in front of anyone is very risky. There will be people doing it right now today on Boxing Day saying, I'm having a lovely Christmas, let's spend the rest of our lives together. So you've got to be respectful of that as well.

It's a stressful time. Do it on a Tuesday. Do it on a Tuesday. If you had to do it, when would you do it? In a public toilet. When they call the toilet. You shouldn't be in the same public toilet. Victoria train station, run in, if you're gay, a couple of yes. You're same sex of course. Can't be nice. Still don't do it in a public toilet.

Do it while you are cottaging in a public toilet! Ask men to marry you! They look down, you've popped a ring on it! Happy birthday! Boxing day! It's boxing day, you're not even pissed! You're putting rings on people's willies! Pete, if you had to do it, before we get out of here I need an answer to this question.

A serious answer. I don't know, there's lots of picturesque spots near our house. Well then it should be easy to answer the question then, shouldn't it? Fine, okay, because I would lose the ring. Lots of picturesque spots near our house. Can I squeeze it in between kind of... I'm very good at the old romantic gestures I'll have, you know. That's what all romantic people have to say.

Yes, exactly, yeah. I've got your name into stop right there. Into my thigh. Into my thigh. For real, Sarah Champion. Lovely little um reference to Richie Edwards. He knew how to do it didn't he? He did. Until he did it for the last time. Right we'll be back for the picture. It's not how I want to end the show but there we go. It's not new year is it next time we do the show? It's gonna be tomorrow. It won't be no. Never mind. All right. Well we'll be back soon. And look after yourselves.

And yeah, keep your emails coming in for crying out loud. Let us know where your Christmas went. Well we'll probably try and squeeze some more emails in, Christmas emails in next time maybe. We'll see how we can. Yeah, alright then. Ta ta! Bye! Bye! I want Merry Christmas. The Luke and Pete show is a stack production and part of the A-Cast Creator Network.

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