The Luke and Pete Show - Like a Guinness advert with more blood

Episode Date: April 25, 2024

Donny learns about the fascinating invention of velcro for babies, Luke calls parents that take their kids to Glastonbury performative, and Pete votes for The Wiggles over the Arctic Monkeys. Elsewhere, they weigh in on Taylor Swift's "tepid" songwriting skills ("she's no Smokey Robinson") because Pete can't understand any of it, while Luke reminds 'the youth' that Madonna existed first.Plus, the lads talk all things horses.Want to get in touch with the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and Pete show, and it is Thursday the 25th of April. Very nice. Yeah. We can't question that, can we? You've got a hair hanging off your microphone. It's really annoying me. Can I get it? Where?

I just have hairs just coming off. I need to invest in those little kind of lint rollers. I'm just covered in dog hair. I've got a couple of them in the house. C hair. I've got a couple of them in the house. Crepe. I've got a couple of them in the house. Covered in crepe. But it's just never-ending when you've got dogs.

I imagine it's quite similar when you've got cats, but dogs really do shed. So only one of my cats sheds. Right. So it's not too bad. How are you anyway, Peter? How's Thursday for you so far? It's just going all right, yeah.

I've managed to let myself get talked into getting excited about the Ramble live show because we've been talking about it so much on the Ramble. I'm going, oh, yeah, it is going to be good. And I'm like, yeah, but that's down to us, though, isn't it? Yeah, the problem is we've got to write the show. Yeah.

Isn't it? Yeah. That's the main problem. So we've got a good idea for it and we've got some things to hang it on. Yeah. But we haven't actually written anything yet and a lot of that comes down to you, doesn't it? Well, the video bits do

and the finish, I'm really excited about the finish I'm really excited about what I have to make for the finish That's going to be brilliant Was that my idea? Might have been your idea, yeah Don't want to do it now The whole concept was my idea but I'm not going to claim that until it's a triumphant success

Yes, good. Like it. That's fair. That's how we've always operated. If it goes to shit, I'll be piling that under someone else. That's the secret, guys. That is the secret.

Oh, dear. Anyway, Peter, what have you been up to? What have I not been up to? I have been fighting a, waging a war against some sticky tape that I put on my car that I imported. So, you know, like everything now isn't nailed or screwed anymore.

It's little Velcro hanging stickers. You know what I mean? Do you know what the ones are made of? Command strips. Command strips. That kind of sticky 3M stuff that has become incredibly powerful and incredibly sticky.

Inventing that kind of stuff is the sort of thing that makes you like Swiss billionaire rich. Yeah, it's the sort of people who created Velcro in the first place, I suppose. These small sort of operations.

Velcro was created for the space missions, though. Right. I think it was created by NASA. Was that for their uniforms? I don't know. I think it was just a way of holding things in place.

To hold it up there. Yeah. Hold the space shuttle up there. Yeah. Tape it to a planet or an asteroid or know. I think it was just a way of holding things in place. Or just to hold it up there. Yeah. Hold the space shuttle up there. Yeah. Tape it to a planet or an asteroid or something. So I think, yeah,

so I think what they're going to do is they're going to Velcro all the planets together. Yeah. And create one big super planet. I didn't realise it was like baby Velcro. It's like Velcro

but it's very, the hooks are so close to the fabric you can bear, it's not rough to touch, really. Like nappies.

Nappies use it. Yes, they do. They would. Amazing. I was fascinated by that because I didn't know how the nappies actually worked. Right.

And is that all there is? Yeah. I think nappy technology in particular is fascinating because it does, if you've ever, I mean, obviously,

you've changed a baby and I have too but like the liquid does stay in the nappy and it's not wet to touch if that makes sense. It's amazing. How do they do that? And they're also about 3p a nappy. It's just crazy isn't it? I think it's probably disastrous for the environment it probably is isn't it?

Probably is isn't it? They probably want you to use the old something that we didn't even use. Yeah so some friends of ours, this is astonishing to me, but fair enough, good on them in many ways. I'm actually in awe of it. They've got a baby,

and most of the baby is a few months younger than our baby. Let's say, for example, their baby is eight months old. I think it's about that. They've gone to Patagonia for six months. And they're just, they're like roughing it and they're using these reusable nappies

and they're sleeping in tents and stuff. I mean. And I understand it's quite frustrating to be stuck at home with a baby when it's raining because they get bored. But there's doing stuff and then there's that.

It's one step after Glastonbury, isn't it? Really? Doing Glastonbury. The thing with Glastonbury, I spoke, my neighbour? Doing Glastonbury. The thing with Glastonbury, I spoke to my neighbours who've got a baby as well. When we go to the pub

and lament our lot. Your new lot. I agree with him. He said to me, when you take a baby to Glastonbury, one, it's quite performative.

Two, it's for you, not for them. They're not getting anything out of it. You'll just be out finding a way to fudge your own lifestyle with a baby along for the ride

yeah I can see a baby getting sunk out of it when they're like six or seven not a baby then they're a kid even that even that though

like it's like the the kind of watered down children's entertainment that will be on there just is not worth

the ticket entry itself we'll come on to Taylor in a bit yeah Taylor Swift not the producer Taylor Swift yeah so we're not doing product review product review about these days. The ticket entry itself will come on to Taylor in a bit. Taylor Swift, not the producer Taylor Swift. Yeah.

So we're not doing product review. Product review? What's it got? Performance review. I don't know. I don't do a lot of these things so I don't know. Sometimes I sit here

and I'm making a show with you and you say stuff like that and you've taken one shoe off and I think, what am I doing? Why have you taken one shoe off? I don't know. Well,

because I sometimes like to put my foot up here but I don't like to put my foot where people's bums go. Would you take a baby to Glastonbury? No. I've always thought it was performative and silly and you're just having a bad time. And you make it...

Because shoes are like babies. They're just... Especially crawling ones. They just always want to be over there, over there, over there. You are... That's a big feel to go over there to. You know what I mean?

It's just a nightmare. And if... Or you can put a carrier on. And they're just out in the filth and the grot. And it's just, man. Not for me. I never liked seeing that. I never liked seeing that. Is it worth saying to people, have your fun.

And when you've had your fun, and it seems like fun to have a baby, have a baby. Have a baby. And then when your baby's grown up and doing their own thing, go back to Glastonbury. Yeah, exactly. And see your kid there on their own.

Ping it off their tits. And pretend you haven't seen them. Get on with your day. That's what I would say. There's things to do.

I don't think that having a baby or having kids should derail your life. There's loads of stuff you can still do. Certain things.

Just let the kids have a nice time. Let people enjoy themselves without you stinking up the place. They don't like the Arctic Monkeys. They just don't. That's me as well.

Pete, it would be absolutely remiss of me to not mention this to you on Luke and Pete's show a day after it's happened. Runaway horses in London. Oh, wild. Absolutely wild. Literally wild. Well, yeah. I mean, I don't know where they came from. I don't know where one of them managed to

sort of... Some of the photos are amazing. Oh, it looks like a guinness advert but with more blood apparently um noise from builders near buckingham palace caused horses from the household cavalry to bolt during a rehearsal and sadly one horse hit the windscreen of a double-decker bus oh wow no one was injured the horse was fine wow um butdecker bus. Oh, wow. No one was injured. The horse was fine. Wow. But that would be an amazing thing to see, wouldn't it? I'd be like, I could have had 100 guesses there, and I wouldn't have.

Never going to hear that sound again, probably. No. Good one, though, isn't it? It's the hippo and the metal train, isn't it? Yeah, and the final piece of information about this happening, if you haven't seen it, look at the photos on the BBC website. Incredible. These are different horses running through deserted streets. Two horses have been caught.

They've all been caught now. Yeah. Two of them were caught in Limehouse, just five miles away. That's such a long way away. Yeah. Wow. I'm sure at that point,

there could just be any horse. People pilloried that Geordie who punched that horse. I mean, he could have. He could have been some use there. So he could have been like a hired gun. The Suicide Squad. Get his scarf on.

Get his scarf on. Yeah. But you know, there was a guy at the far right. I don't actually know how to categorize it, but there was St. George's Day. Drinkers. Football fan piss heads. Yeah.

Yesterday. Doing some shit at the cenotaph. Yeah. How you can make a... The thing I don't like about it, it make... The thing I don't like about it, it was loads of things I don't like about it, but the lack of self-awareness to not understand that the incredible,

however problematic you find it in modern day, but the incredible dignity that elderly veterans have when it comes to serving their country in the Second World War, the First World War, whatever war it may be. And the messages and the morals they've normally got to impart upon us all is, oh yeah, it was awful.

And it's not a great thing. And I just want a quiet life now. Drawing a line from that to these comments. The co-opting of the sexual odds. What arrogance and lack of self-awareness must you have to think that anyone in their right mind wants you

anywhere near the cenotaph shanged off your tits with a St. George's flag around your neck? Fuck off. Yeah. Go and celebrate something. Fucking,

it's not even a celebration, is it? It's not even your city, though, is it? You know what I mean? It's making a point, isn't it? It's not even your, like, the city's a different,

the city has, London's always been different to that. It's always been better. One of them hit a horse with an umbrella. Right, okay. Oh, yeah, it's always been different to that. It's always been better. One of them hit a horse with an umbrella. Right, okay. Oh, yeah,

he's got an umbrella, I suppose. Are they linked? That seems like forward planning. Are the events linked? You don't want to get your dad jeans wet,

do you, I suppose. Should horses be in the police? Possibly not. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, if they read all the right books and they go through all the... Can a horse experience

a PowerPoint? Leave them alone. Let them do racing if they want. A lot of them are bred to race, you've got to remember that. Let them do racing if they want. I would let them do just field work.

Right, yeah. I don't want films. I knew you were going to go there. You know in the Barbie movie, Ken's job is just beach? Yeah. I think the horse's job should just be field. Field, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you kind of like...

I don't know what they'd be up to if we didn't employ them to do stuff, though. I just don't know what... I don't know whether horses would have a satisfying time of things. Apparently the ones that have been recovered are now being assessed by a vet as we record this. Right.

You're right, I've just been for a run. Just been for a run. Maybe they'd have a problem with the hardness of the ground, I presume. I don't know. If you've got a horseshoe on, you're pacing it and turning the corner on the old tarmac. On the old cobbles.

You're going to slide. I reckon you're going to slide. It's an amazing story. It's an amazing image. I feel sorry for the one who's cut his neck, I think, but they're all neck though, aren't they? They've got a lot of neck to cut, I suppose. Statistically, it's very likely to happen.

They've absolutely decimated a whole bunch of line bikes as well. Yes, good stuff. Just line bikes on the deck. The line bike app. I hate to get boring, but that's kind of where we've become. We're two middle-aged men talking about line bikes now, right now. That's what we're doing. Line bikes. When you finish with a line bike,, right now, that's what we're doing. Line bikes.

When you finish with a line bike, Lou, you're a line bike lover like me. Do you want to know how many, I'll tell you what, do you want to know how many kilometres I've done on my line bike? On your line bike? It's not impressive because it's got a battery on it. Yeah. I don't think it's impressive physically,

I just want you to understand the commitment I've shown to the line bike. To the line brand. Who owns the line brand? Who owns the line bike brand? Is it LimeWire? It might be Uber. Uber. Guess how many kilometres I've shown to the LimeBike. To the LimeBrand. Who owns the LimeBrand? Who owns the LimeBike brand? Is it LimeWire? It might be Uber. Uber. Guess how many kilometres I've done on a LimeBike.

How many have you done? 2,886.5 kilometres. Since it came in? Since I started using it. You're like the hardest geezer, but with LimeBikes. Yeah, where's my parade? 388 miles. You've done every Pret-a-Manger in London.

If anyone out there can beat that, I'd love to hear about it. Anyway, carry on. When you finish and you've got to take a picture of the linebacker to tell the people that, tell the linebacker boys and girls that you've parked in a decent place. Have you ever had to pick,

like lately, they're getting really arsey about what is in the shot. Because I'm always taking pictures of the thing they've asked me to take. Yeah, ignore. And they always go, ignore. They always go, you need to take it better. Because I'm always taking pictures of the thing they've asked me to take. Yeah, ignore. And they always go... Ignore.

They always go, you need to take it better. And I'm not doing... There's a button to submit anyway. Yeah, but I'm not doing a... Why can't they get that right? It's all AI, isn't it, anyway? It's all checked by AI.

The only problem you'll have, which is the problem I've had in the past, is if you've got a double yellow line in the shot, they ask for a bit more clarity. Oh, because they see the double yellow line, right. So I think if you get the background... I'll sense two chips in the foreground

laying down. Really close the camera. The thing I find interesting about that is that these days more and more often you have to park the bike in

a... A beer. Yeah, a bay. And they know where the bay is because if you're not in the bay they won't let you park it.

So what's your fucking photo for you, nerds? Yeah, you know where it is. That's it. Yeah, it's near the bay. Stick it in the bay they won't let you park it. So I'm watching the fucking photo for you nerds. It's in the bay. That's it. Yeah. It's near the bay.

Stick it in the bay and move on with your life. How are you using line bikes where you do? Canterbury. Going from

Canterbury to here. Oh okay. So you get training there. I always think that the whatever two quid or

whatever is a it's money well spent I think for the extra ten minutes it gives me to do some prep for the Rumble. I do a ride pass, mate. I do a ride pass, mate. Nice.

So I just shell out at the beginning of the month for like 40 quid, and it lasts me. It's like a gold club, like a gold card. It's like a Nando's black card. But for cycling. Yeah. It runs out pretty quick. And isn't the Nando's black card free? It is to like celebrities. It certainly used to be.

Got it. I think I spoke about it before but Matt Dyson from XFM slash Absolutes black card. We had some nights out on that. Cocktails? Yes please. Nothing's got the

spoken about in the hushed revered tones of the media cognoscenti than the Nando's black card. Yeah. Yeah. You can talk about your

Soho house membership your Chilton firehouse but really it is the it's the Nando's black Card. Yeah. Yeah, you can talk about your Soho House membership, your Chilton Firehouse, but really it's the Nando's Black Card. I always get asked to be a member of, what's it called? The one on Shaftesbury Avenue. So a good few of my friends are members of it. Is it called the Century Club?

Yeah. I swear I saw Michael Barrymore that time. Oh, I thought that was in the Groucho. No, it was the rooftop of Century. Are you going to tell that story? Or can you not tell it? He offered to take me home and provide a sex worker for me

on the day that he was cleared of Stuart Lovick's murder. Yeah. He said that the worst thing that's going to happen is going to wipe you off. Yeah, that's the worst thing. It's not the worst thing that's happened to you. So, Peter, that happened, though. That happened.

That did happen. So we're not going to get busted for you saying that. No, it definitely happened. Yeah. Was he drunk? He happen. So we're not going to get busted for you saying that. No, it definitely happened. Yeah. Was he drunk? He started to do, like, he's doing a lot of, like, TikTok stuff. He's never going to be rehabilitated, though.

No, it's a shame because he was good. And I don't think there was anything, this is me, opining over the memory of a dead man. But it just seemed like it was just a bit of an unfortunate situation. I think he whispered it to my ear. He was a brilliant presenter. And weirdly, we do touch on about, it's one of our kind of touchstones is batteries and Barrymore.

Batteries, Barrymore being good at his job. The thing is... An absolute charisma bomb. It's very hard to explain to people who have got no experience of it. And obviously, we've got a little... You've got more experience

than me, but I've got very little experience. But I've got enough to see what it takes. Right? And it's very difficult to explain to people

how fucking hard it is to do that. Yeah. And to be on to that level. To present at any level in a live environment is hard. And then there are people just so good at it, they make it so natural,

and it's like their natural environment. She won't be very happy to be mentioned in the same conversation as Michael Barrymore, but I always think whenever I see Jules at work, I've seen it from behind the scenes, I've seen it on telly like everyone else has. She's so good. And it's so hard

to be that good. And she, and when we presented together on the ramble, presented together, she's presenting, I'm doing dick jokes, but she will,

she regards me as being an ad break fucking up. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. She looks at me, she goes, problems.

Yeah. And professionals generally see a problem on the way. Like, he's not going to get a sentence out, he's going to have a non-secret,

it doesn't go anywhere, he's going to try and mess this link up somehow, get that man away from me. But I look at you and I go, problems. So it's the same conclusion,

but I'm happy with it. Right, okay, fine. But you're doing yourself a disservice there because you presented on national radio

for a long, long time. Well, I didn't have a Pete Donaldson in the room, did I? To fuck you up. I was okay, fine. But you're doing yourself a disservice there because you presented on national radio for a long, long time. Well, I didn't have a Pete Donaldson in the room, did I? To fuck you up. I was the... I am...

Who was the clown? First they came for the Pete Donaldsons. But doctor, I am Andy Archie. Exactly. Do you know what they say? If you look around the room

and there's not a Pete Donaldson, you're the Pete Donaldson. What if that doctor, it's not the end of the scene, and the doctor goes, yeah, he's not that good. I hadn't seen him, but his reputation preceded him,

but I've not seen this clown. There's absolutely no reason for him to be so upset. Because there's no duality of man. No. Man, he must be upset all the time. Yeah. Even on stage, because he's bad. Maybe that's his whole shtick.

He's just a bad clown. Have you got a bit of the tears of a clown about you? No, the anxiety of a clown. Worrying about the future. Do you feel like a clown? Never ten years where that's going. Just next week? Yeah, always next week. Do you feel

like Pagliacci sometimes? Yeah, no, I don't have time. Do you have time for introspection? I'll fucking go time. Do you have time for introspection? I'll fucking go. Nonsense of a kind of dad. It does simplify your life somewhat, doesn't it, I suppose. It has for me. Do you know what?

There's a quote that I heard that really rang true with me is that a man needs to find God or become a father because he needs something in his life that he loves more than he loves himself. Nice. And that is definitely the case for me. Lovely stuff.

I'll be honest with you, this will be surprising to no one. I used to think about myself 150 times a day. I'm being serious. Right. And now I probably

think about myself zero times a day. 60 times a day. Which I understand is still a lot but it's 70% less than it was. Yeah.

I don't even do social media. And I think, and I think, where does anyone find the time to do that? You know what I mean? So I would say, maybe I need to find TikTok or Instagram or something like that.

Maybe I need to express myself a bit more. I literally use social media to be, when I'm angry about something, I need to get it out of my system. It's normally about American politics or British, basically politics and the state of things

or to show off on Instagram. Oh, by the way, you guys, here's a post that ostensibly looks like it's a piece of information or something that's happened, but under the surface, if you scratch a little bit, I'm basically just showing off.

And I think if more people were honest about it, that would be in a better state can I just say before we move on though about Tears of a Clown and Pagliacci and that kind of stuff

one of the greatest lines in pop music history is Smokey Robinson Tears of a Clown just like Pagliacci did I try and keep my sadness hid it's a great line it's a brilliant song

very very underrated songwriter Smokey Robinson I would say Smokey Robinson I think what didn't he write that's exactly it what I'm saying to you is though It's a brilliant song. Nice. Very, very underrated songwriter, Smokey Robinson, I would say. Smokey Robinson. I think... What didn't he write? That's exactly it. What I'm saying to you is, though,

and maybe you're moving in different circles to me, but if people start talking about the best songwriters ever, he's probably not going to get a mention, is he? People are going to go Lennon and McCartney and David Bowie and Bob Dylan and Neil Young and stuff. But, I mean, his contribution to pop music is absolutely ridiculous. I think he's written something like,

I want to say, I haven't got it in front of me. I'm trying to look it up now, but I can't find it. I think he might have written a thousand published songs. That's too many. It's like, well, Taylor Swift did that in her last album. Yeah, she probably did. Do you want to do a bit on Taylor Swift, do you? I've never understood it.

I don't understand it. And I never will understand it. Why do you reckon that is? Usually... Because, I mean, I would sort of defer to you, Luke, because you don't mind a bit of... Shall we have a break first? Yeah, all right, all right.

Producer Taylor, not Taylor Swift, is going to be our mentor. Let's have a break. Write a song about it, Taylor. We'll come back and then we'll do a bit of that but we'll also do batteries. Okay.

We're back with Luke Peach. You're Taylor Swift. Discuss. Lukey Moore, you're a fan of a popstrel doing some thoughtful pop music. Yeah. Where do you stand on Swifties?

No one will care about my opinion on this because I am an old man. But I do think there is a big difference between really thoughtful, well-written pop music and the kind of stack them high, sell them cheap kind of shit that anyone will lap up that people don't really like music. So I certainly think, of course, that Swift is on the good side right

is a great artist and a brilliant songwriter and I think what she's really good at is speaking directly to her

audience I think there's a list of kind of really successful current pop artists that are good at that

I think Ed Sheeran is one of those Ed Sheeran's almost from my knowledge and I do know a bit about it because I've got a few friends working

in the industry he's almost cynical with it he's almost like this is knowledge, and I do know a bit about it because I've got a few friends working in the industry, he's almost cynical with it. He's almost like, this is the song I'm writing for this album for Radio 1. This is the song for Radio 2. This is the one for this. He's almost quite cynical about it.

But I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing and it's obviously down to his audience about whether they care about that or not. At the end of the day, songwriters have to write to eat and, you know, it's in that sense.

One thing I would say about Taylor Swift, which I find really interesting, is that for some reason, people who are massively into her seem to think that there's been no pop songwriting done before her. Yeah. So it's always a bit like she's doing what she's doing and she's breaking records on tour and she's an amazing artist and I like a lot of her music, actually.

But it just calmed down a bit. It's not something that's breaking records on tour and she's an amazing artist and I like a lot of her music actually but it just calmed down a bit it's not something that's never happened before that girl

sat outside that maybe that girl and her two friends sat outside the stadium when a song

hits that meant a lot to her and she's in tears that's all good stuff let's not pretend

Madonna didn't exist exactly yeah I think there's a lot of artists that have done all the stuff. Yeah. But let's not pretend Madonna didn't exist. No, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think there's a lot of artists that have done all the stuff she's doing before. That's fine.

People seem to get so virulent about it that they can't listen to reason. But I think that's probably an aspect of modern life anyway. But it just seems like it's that, is it Dan Antonoff from, who did Fun? Remember that band Fun? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he sort of writes all of...

Like, does a lot of the production of the tracks. And, good God, like, they do sound very samey. Isn't it Jack Antonoff? Jack Antonoff, sorry, yeah. It's very samey. And the sentiment and the writing, oh, my God. You've got to understand that mainstream art has to be broad.

Isn't that complicated? No. It's the same as a Marvel movie or whatever, you know. It is the, it's the songwriting equivalent of like Garden of the Galaxy, isn't it?

A bit cheeky. Yeah. A bit cheeky, a bit self-referential. So I think also, if you look at, obviously my bae is Jepsen. I think she's the standout of all those personally.

I mean, she's not as popular as Swift, of course. But if you look at like her most successful records, the list of like songwriters and producers and stuff on the liner notes and stuff is huge. I mean, they collaborate with so many different people. It's not, I don't know if Swift does, but it's not that uncommon for that kind of stuff to happen. And you've also got these places like some in Scandinavia, some in London, some in the US,

they're basically just hit factories. But that's no different to back in the day. That's where A&R comes from, artist and repertoire. The job was to match the artist with the song, and the songs would be written in Tim Panali and places like that. There would be songwriters, and songwriting was a job. You'd write songs for other people. I think Lady Gaga did that

before she became a songwriter a performer herself and stuff another one who writes a lot of them is the girl from Four Non Blondes

yes she does a lot of them I can't remember her name Big Mouth Jessie Mouth what's her name oh can't remember Kathy Dennis

is another one as well she had some hits herself in the 90s so there's a lot of people out there doing it what a great job there doing it. What a great job by the way. It's a great job to have. It's a great job to have, but you have to be Linda Perry. You've got to be so talented

to do it. And a lot of people aren't. So there we go. Batteries Pete, let's move on from this and do batteries. We're probably going to get cancelled by the Swifties now anyway. I know, I know. I just, guys, I mean just give us three or four songs that aren't like the never, I mean, just give us three or four songs that aren't like the,

you know, never, never getting back together. Give us three or four songs that bang and are lyrically important and because I'm just seeing some pretty tepid shit. What have you done

that's lyrically important recently, would you say? Holloway Roadshops I Admire. I wrote the Holloway Roadshops I Admire song. Yeah. Yeah. Did also one about Kentish Town.

Kentish Town's a good one. Kentish Town Town. That was to the tune of Downtown by Thingy. I mean, you know that because it's got the word town in it. But it was like Kentish Town Town, wasn't it? Yeah. It's a bit of a scan. Quite clumsily written.

Quite clumsily. Some might say avant-garde. You wrote the opening song to the Last Ramble tour as well. Right, yeah. With the Adam Johnson line. P-D-File, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, P-D-File stuff. We had to change that

for the US shows, didn't we? Yeah. Well, only because they probably wouldn't understand who Adam Johnson was. Yeah, I don't think P-D-File humour goes down quite as well in the US either.

Yeah, I don't know. I think they think half the government are P-D-File. It hits a bit different. Yeah. I'm enjoying the, we'll get into batteries in a second, I'm enjoying the Donald Trump trial into batteries in a second I'm enjoying the

Donald Trump trial despite all of the media saying yeah we're not we're not going to fall for his shit again we're not going to be

and then they're like they see the money signs and they're like we're following this trial like it's all J's they followed him in a helicopter to the

to the court he also made up the other day that no one's no one's allowed to protest outside the courthouse which is everyone is allowed to protest people just aren't bothering yeah I also saw that no one's allowed to protest outside the courthouse, which is, everyone is allowed to protest,

people just aren't bothering. Yeah. I also saw some coverage where he apparently fell asleep in the courtroom and the Fox News coverage was, wow, it's so boring,

I'll fall asleep. He can make excuses for anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anything he does, yeah. Hello, gents. This is a battery call to arms from Chris.

I saw the call for help on your Instagram and like a battery-wielding Batman, I'm answering the battery signal. I've had a previously successful submission with the Power Owl batteries. Power Owl. Power Owl.

And hoping that I can score some more new players. In a quiet day at work, I went through everything in the office, which is battery-powered. Good stuff. Amidst a sea of Panasonic and Energizer industrial, I came across these beauties. May I present for you for perusal,

the Vital Pile Alkaline and also the 555 battery offering. Sounds like a betting company. What's the first one? Vital Pile Alkaline. As in pile, P-I-L-E? Yeah, Vital Pile. So you've got, yeah, a Vital Pile of batteries. So Vital Pile are a new player.

Good stuff. 1.3 volts of win for young Chris. And triple five are not a new player. They were first sent in. Yeah, they were first sent in on November of 2022. So one new player and one not new player. I think Chris has got a good job because there's a lovely wood grain on his desk.

That's to be said. That's lovely. That's rich. That is lovely. What wood is that, do you reckon? It's almost like a cherry wood. on his desk. That's to be said. That's lovely, yeah. That's rich. That is lovely. What wood's that, do you reckon? That's almost like a cherry wood. Yeah. Don't scratch it.

Do not carve your name into it. No. For crying out loud. It'd be one of those essays I used to do in the 90s. Yes, Dean Chewy Chew, who we've heard from before, I believe. It's been a while, and I've missed you lads. I've been travelling a lot recently and just binged the Luke and Pete show to get caught up on about two months' worth of missed episodes.

As I was travelling, I made it my mission to find some more battery brands to add to the battery daddy. As such, I'm coming in hot with my eighth, ninth and tenth new players. First up, Conno, batteries from Vietnam. C-O-N-O, batteries from Vietnam. Not a new player, sent in by Jonathan Quinn. Long, Ket U Thong, that's what it says, sorry. Sent in by John from Vietnam in April of last year.

Okay. Well, what about Flarks? That's not real, is it? Russia. F-L-A-R-X. It looks like something you'd see in a pound shop, but like one of those kind of Scandinavian pound shops. Your flying tiger of Copenhagen.

Flarks. F-L-A-R-X. Are we happy that these are ones that Dean owns? Yeah, they're on his desk. They're on a desk anyway. I think I'm fine with that to be honest. Okay, in which case they are a new player. Good stuff, well done.

Congratulations, well done. What's the last one? Nanfu Power Collect Ring. Bloody hell. Nanfu power collect ring doesn't look like there's a lick of English on the

how does he know what they call it he translated it himself I presume Dean Chui Chui speaks a bit of or certainly reads

a bit of Chinese yeah they're new lovely stuff congratulations so two new players well done Dean that's a fantastic performance

that's to be said alright and finally for now Christopher Quickert Bands and Batteries Hi boys I've been meaning to send in this battery submission

for about a month and I was prompted to write it immediately after listening to last Thursday's episode not even a minute ending you guys I started talking about a band with an interesting name

the Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments I nearly wrecked my own van on the way to work they are from Columbus, Ohio like me their guitarist and dear friend of mine, Bobby P, sadly passed away three years ago this month.

Sorry you didn't like the song, but it was nice to see a positive review of the band's name. Now for the battery submission. Please love me, Battery Daddy. EZ Red, Ez Red, AA alkaline battery shock consideration. Keep the good work. Chris Crickert from Columbus, Ohio, USA, Ez Red.

Yeah, congratulations to you they're a new player oh lovely stuff fantastic and that's great to great to see I would just say on Thomas Jefferson's

slave apartment I may not have said this and it may not have come across which I apologise I was not looking to denigrate your late friend's memory I was just saying

it's not really my cup of tea and the reason I came across it is because I've got a shared Spotify playlist with a few of my friends. And each week we each put a song on that we like, that we've heard. And a couple of my friends have got

a lot more abrasive taste in music than me. Which is good, so I get exposed to a lot of stuff I wouldn't normally listen to. This is just noise you shout. That's where TJSA were on there. It just wasn't really my kind of thing. But I do understand that they're a very well-respected, critically acclaimed band of the late, of the 90s, I think.

So no beef. I've got no beef. I love what they're doing. All for it. It's just not really my cup of tea. No beef. But the same way, for example, I love the fact that, say, grindcore band The Locust exist.

Don't listen to them every day. It's really important that they're kind of around because great music, making that kind of stuff is great. I'm not going to listen to it, even if they've got the most amazing song names ever, like Earwax Halo manufactured for the champion in all of us. And Late for a Double Date with a Pile of Atoms in the Water Closet. I like that. And Pissed Is That a Halfie in Your of us. And late for a double date with a pile of atoms in the water closet. I like that.

And pissed, is that a halfie in your pants? And finally for now, can we please get another nail in the coffin of culture theft and the half-eaten sausage would like to see you in his office.

That's not bad. I'm instantly, I think you can tell my interest has been piqued by those. All those songs are about 30 seconds long. Good stuff. stuff Actually I will

finish with this one The penultimate song on their song on their actually claimed actually 2003 release

Plague Soundscapes is called Priests with the sexually transmitted diseases get out of my bed Alright well we'll leave it there

this has been the Luke and Pete show. Continue with your batteries. Get them in. Hello, Luke and Pete show.com. If you want to get, find your space

into the battery daddy, you can find us on, on the old socials if you fancy it, at Luke and Pete show or at the Luke and Pete show, depending on where you are. But we'll see you on Monday.

All right. Do you want a bit of the locust to play us out? No, because it's the protected content. They're not going to mind. All right. Do you want a bit of the locust to play us out? No, because it's protected. They're not going to mind. All right. I can get into that.

Yeah, I like that. It sounds like the circle jerks mixed with something a bit harder. Silly. Silly boys being silly. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.