The Luke and Pete Show - Like Nothing Matters
Episode Date: March 14, 2024This week, the guys are talking about ‘the poor aesthetic’. Are the Last Dinner Party right? Are people sick of hearing about the cost of living? And was it acceptable to ask Rob Beckett to model ...in front of piled-high bins on his photoshoot?Plus, Pete introduces his neighbour to Bigga Juice!Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
It's the Luke and Pete show.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Happy Thursday.
Thursday the 4th of March.
It is.
March always gives me the heebie-jeebies because I always think I forgot my dad's birthday
and I didn't forget my dad's birthday on the 3rd, but I ordered some biltong off the
internet and it did not
arrive in time, Lukey Miller.
I hate that because I've got a bit of that going on
in my family because I think that they think that I'm
a bit shit at that stuff and when I'm genuinely
alright at it and I get let down by
delivery promises that have not been kept
it's frustrating.
It's frustrating.
So what did your dad say about that?
Did he want Biltong?
Well, the annoying thing is
I know for a fact
he's never sent me a card
yeah
like so
my dad's got absolutely
no input in that at all
my mum does all of it
yeah
so he
I sort of feel very guilty
but then why should I
because he never remembers anything
yeah
pertaining to my life
I had a tricky one once
where we're generally
in the US
for my dad's birthday
weirdly enough
April, May, June, July
August, September, October
eight months different
my dad's the 3rd of December
okay
and we're normally in the US
and obviously the time difference
and stuff
so he'll normally expect
to hear from me
later in the day
and it's fine
I remember a year
a few years ago
on his birthday
woke up
and we were completely snowed in
I was in New England we were completely snowed in i was in new england completely snowed in the
whole day was taken up with helping out the elderly neighbor um and shoveling and doing a
lot of chores putting winter tires on the car all the rest of it completely forgot it was my dad's
birthday and i felt so bad i felt so bad and then i thought i do feel bad about this but you know many many family members do not get
involved with me for my birthday and i don't say anything about it yeah i'm not i'm genuinely
i know everyone's different but i'm not that bothered but you don't think we should turn
the tables now and sort of go we're not doing unless unless your dad sends you a card he's
not getting on i feel like in my family I would like us to make a lot of changes
to Christmas
as you well know
I'd love to just do
a secret Santa
for Christmas
just among the adults
you get one person
you pull it out
you get them a present
and you could
ramp up the value
because you're saving money anyway
so you say
a hundred quid
whoa
you only buy one present
that's the beauty of it
that's half a Mr. Donut well maybe you could the beauty of it. That's half a Mr. Donut.
Well, maybe you could save up two Christmases
to get a Mr. Donut.
Two Christmases to get a Mr. Donut, yeah.
Yeah, so I'm just saying,
I think there's a lot of family traditions
that in my family
that are suddenly just decided
that they're traditions
that I've had no input in
and it involves me being inconvenienced
in some way.
Anyway, what's been going on with you, Peter?
How's your week going?
I can't stop thinking about Mr. Donut now.
Yeah,
it's going alright.
I've been watching
Timmy Shaw.
Do a crowd funder.
What?
Get Peter and Sarah
the Mr. Donut they deserve.
That she doesn't want.
Well,
I think she's got
her friend from choir
that is going to come
around and fix up
our planters,
which is great news.
Fantastic.
You better dig out
what you've buried
in there then
i bet i i could do i didn't fix the lights to be honest i've fixed them twice the fox
32 dead rodents we found some doubloons actually we found a mouse in the in the house uh in i've
got a humane trap and you've obviously got to drive them for fucking miles uh to let them off
um but uh but uh dog sammy was just sniffing it like a bit of...
Isn't he supposed
to be a rat catcher?
He is supposed to catch him,
but he at least
will point towards
the fact that
the humane trap
has a little
field mouse in it.
So he's basically
like an admin assistant.
Yeah, exactly.
Do you reckon they've had that
over the years
bred out of them now then?
So they say dogs,
a working dog
is specifically done for this.
That kind of dog
would be on a boat presumably
to catch rats and stuff.
Yeah. But they don't do anything now. No, they don't done for this. That kind of dog would be on a boat, presumably, to catch rats and stuff. Yeah.
But they don't do anything now.
No, they don't do anything now.
One of my cats, I've got two, and one of them's a really prolific killer.
In the summer, he's like a killer.
And I know people listening, some of them won't actually like that, but that is a fact.
The mouse fraternity.
The birds.
All the mice listening will be terrified.
But he, I mean, generally speaking, I think that's a bit of a misnomer about cats and
birds okay i think um they generally only if a nest has been built too low right they'll attack
and if the bird's already injured they'll fuck it up but they can't catch birds generally okay
they're just not good enough because i don't know if you know that birds can fly yeah that is the
one that is the one let down when it comes to the feline fraternity.
My other one is almost entirely useless.
I've been in a situation where I've had a mouse in the house,
and I haven't been able to catch it because it's been too quick.
And so I just put the cat in there.
Because what one of the cats will do is he'll just catch it and he won't kill it.
And I'll get him to give it up to me and I'll just chuck it out.
He wouldn't even go near it.
He was shitting himself every time the mouse came.
Every time the mouse came near him, he'd just jump in the air. Yeah. So anyway, so your dog didn't He wouldn't even go near it. He was shitting himself every time the mouse came. Every time the mouse came near him
he'd just jump in the air.
Yeah.
So anyway,
so your dog didn't catch it?
Didn't catch it.
We had a mouse.
We got rid of it.
Absolutely fine.
They're adorable mice though,
aren't they?
Cute little things.
They're cute little guys.
You have to take them
a mile away, don't you?
I've been watching a TV show
that's not really
up my usual street.
It's about a Nazi killer?
It's not about a Nazi killer.
One day.
Unless the series takes a massive turn
in the sixth episode.
No, it's not about Nazi killers.
The David Nichols adaptation.
Is David Nichols the one?
Yes.
So I didn't realise it was...
I've just googled one day
and that book that I saw everywhere
for about five years is here.
That's nice that they're
getting a second adaptation of it.
That book had a massive billboard
on the approach to Victoria Station,
which I swear
the agency or whoever it was must have just forgotten about.
It was up there for about three years.
And it would say, out September
whenever, and it was like April.
It was still up there.
It must have got so much free advertising
from that
to the point where
he got an option
for Netflix
is it any good?
yeah
I mean
it started
the first episode
I was like
like every writer
writes about
somebody being
an aspiring writer
like I just
I just would love
to see
a rom-com
or a romantic
drama
where one person
isn't absolutely rich as hell and there's a
bit of like sort of um uh wealth pornography going on there yeah and i'd quite like that um the the
working class character uh didn't have aspirations to be a writer or a screenwriter or an actor or
all of the things that they think that is the beyond and all i'd quite like them to work
in press stores uh which i realize is a shop that hasn't existed for about 30 years it would be
set in the 80s it would really have to i mean this one is yeah hopefully um but yeah i i yeah the uh
it's about two people who um meet up um sparingly over the years as their life gets more and more
complicated or simple in some ways.
And I'm only on, I think, episode six, me and Sarah,
but I think the working-class character is obnoxious.
I think the posh lad is obnoxious.
But I'm more on the posh lad's side
than the working...
That's saying something.
I know.
It really takes...
It was already made into a movie, wasn't it,
back in the day?
It was, yeah.
Anne Hathaway.
But I think Anne Hathaway's... I was already made into a movie, wasn't it, back in the day? It was, yeah. Anne Hathaway.
But I think Anne Hathaway's... I think people made the point that Anne Hathaway...
They basically put glasses on her and went,
Isn't she dowdy?
Isn't that woman dowdy?
I read...
I hate when I do that.
I read a particular plot summary point about the film.
And when I saw this was coming out.
And it said,
after me,
when meeting Emma for dinner,
Dexter gets high on cocaine.
I was like,
I'm not fucking watching that.
Whoa.
I'm not watching that.
That's the episode we just saw.
Right.
He got high on cocaine
and he ate some oysters.
Dexter and Emma
have a disagreement
because Dexter gets high on cocaine.
Who's fucking writing this?
He shat his pants.
It sounds like it's been written
by a dad who's retired
and wants to write
a romantic novel.
My dad wrote a porno.
It's not really one for me,
I'm afraid.
But you're not enjoying it.
First one,
get through the first episode.
That's the crust on the cow pat.
And then you're into
some delicious,
nutritious cow pat.
No, I find it very,
very difficult to watch
an overwhelmingly middle to upper class industry like TV
cast and write working class characters.
And I think that's why the kind of kitchen sink type stuff
is actually so, has been and is so important.
Because, you know, if you think about the most accurate portrayals
of working class life,
they are things like Ken Loach and more recently things like top boy and that
kind of,
the fact that people talk about,
write about what you know and stuff.
Right.
And it's the age old thing in,
in,
in writing.
It's the same with the old John le Carré.
He'd get massive criticism for not being able to write female characters,
for example.
And to an extent,
and I think that is fair.
I was in a spy game,
didn't make any.
Right.
Exactly.
The point is he would just basically got to the point where he wouldn't put any female characters in his stuff. But, but I think that is fair. I was in a spy game, didn't meet any... Right, exactly. The point is, he basically got to the point
where he didn't put any female characters
in his stuff.
But you can only,
I mean, you can't know...
I guess what I'm asking is,
is it fair to expect
a 75-year-old man
to know
how to write a properly
three-dimensional young female character?
And if the answer is no,
what's the solution to that?
Right.
I'm asking you.
Get La Caria some ladies.
How's that going to help?
It's going to make it worse.
Hang out with some ladies.
Yeah, I suppose so.
But is that really going to make it easier?
Not the way I've said it in sentence.
The thing that really stuck in my mind is that Rob Beckett, comedian,
he's got a new fucking panel show.
Josh Willick comes to team, Captain.
It's just what we need.
Hell of a left foot.
Has he really?
Good for him.
Honestly,
like a fucking cannon.
Never has his new panel show
screamed more
that he's got a contract here
and we're giving him
another vehicle
to get it done.
To get the money out.
Because they have to.
They've got to strike the value.
Did you see...
Can I just make the point?
Rob Beckett,
I'm not trying to slag him off. We're talking about writing and then sasha into stand-ups no because it's about working class right background right
he he made the point which i really sympathize with him on i totally agree with him it's
completely fucking unacceptable and he was like this is fucking terrible and this happened to me
as he was a breaking through comedian he was getting his first edinburgh run or whatever
or he had just got a big um uh tour yeah he was doing a through comedian. He was doing his first Edinburgh run or whatever. Or he had just got a big tour.
He was doing a few nights at fucking Hammersmith Apollo, whatever.
And he said that the agency they used to do his photographs
said to him in the meeting beforehand,
we really want to lean into the working class aesthetic you've got.
And he was like, okay, great.
Fine, I'm happy to do that.
I talk about my working class upbringing quite a lot.
So we thought what we would do is in a kind of,
how have I got here kind of thing.
And he's like,
all right.
And he says,
what we thought we'd do is we'd photograph you around the back of the
Hams for Apollo among all the bins.
And he was like,
what?
All right.
That's your idea.
Yeah.
You think working class people should be hanging around in bins?
In bins.
Yeah.
That's my point. I actually agree with that. I think, I think hanging around in bins yeah that's my point
i think that's i think that's cool the whole industry is looking like that though i um did
i tell you um steven graham a friend's sister was doing a job with steven graham on like an
indie film and um he was playing a poor person um and the his house is just a sort of
two bedroom
kind of
terrace
in a re-run down
part.
Anyway,
when he came to
the set,
he was like,
what the fuck
is that?
And he points to
there's a couple
of used tea bags
on the side.
He said,
I'm fucking poor,
I'm not a fucking
pig.
Which I think is a lovely sort of thing because all the side. They said, I'm fucking poor, I'm not a fucking pig. Yeah.
Which I think is a lovely sort of thing.
Because all the people
that work on it
are well off.
They have no idea.
Yeah.
This is what works for us.
And I think,
you know,
the idea from my upbringing
was,
you know,
it was very aspirational.
It was like,
very proud to be working class.
It's that whole Stevie Wonder thing,
you know,
the clothes are old
but never are they dirty type thing.
You'd never,
you'd have a lot of pride,
you'd surround yourself
with books
all that kind of stuff
and I'm not saying
I was like Oliver Twist
but I certainly wasn't
what 75% of the people
I have to associate
with in this industry
are like
I wasn't anything like that
and if you've got
no understanding of it
it's kind of easy
to see how that stuff happens
you know
I mean
it's the idea
that working class people
are somehow slobby
or can't clean themselves which I mean it's like so mean it's the idea that working class people are somehow slobby or can't clean
themselves which i mean it's like so bad it's really bad yeah did you see did you see that um
that band that relatively new band uh i think their debut was this yeah the last dinner party
so i i've they've come up a few times now i've not checked them out at all i don't know what
music's like banging single like uh nothing but they're really posh. Banging, sort of Kate Bush.
They've listened to Kate Bush.
And they're very accomplished, and they were on the PR trail,
and the lead singer said,
I think everyone's bored of hearing songs about the cost of living crisis.
The cost of living crisis.
That's for you to decide, that is.
And she went to like a 40 grand a year school
like classic
you know
most people in music
these days
young people
have to be minted
anyway
because you can't do it
because you can't afford it
and that's how the arts
I just love watching PR
I just love watching
like a whole PR plan
this is going to be huge
they're going to be
the next fucking
insert band
and
one interview
one shitty journalist says,
well, I mean,
you went to a 40 grand school.
I've been in PR meetings
with PR agencies before
where it's been very awkward
because the PR agency have said,
you can't do that.
You can't say that.
It's normal to you,
but you can't say that.
You're going to get crucified
if you do that. With certain high profile people. And it's quite interesting to but you can't say that you're going to get crucified if you do that
with like certain
high profile people
and it's quite interesting
to see how people react to that
because in many ways
like it's not
I mean that girl there
I don't know the band
I've never heard them
I've never even seen her
I couldn't pick her out
of a line up
it's not entirely her fault
is it
like she can't help
where she's from
that's a stupid thing to say
it's the kind of thing
a young person would say
but it's not
her fault her upbringing's not her fault.
Her upbringing isn't her fault either.
But the fan base will judge
and I imagine
that her fan base
is relatively young
and they care about
that sort of stuff.
They care about
the cost of living.
They care about disparity.
So the universe will decide
whether they get punished
for that or not.
The universe will decide
that that's in a party.
That said,
cracking single.
Is it?
I need to check it out.
I will check it out.
Let's have a break, Pete.
When we come back
we'll do some batteries
and we might try and squeeze
an email or two in as well
if that's alright with you
let's see how we go
and I will fuck you
like nothing matters
what's that
what's that
it's just
there's a line from that song
I was talking about before
it loses some
something of its
je ne sais quoi
when you do it like that
when I'm eyeballing you
yeah I don't want you to say that
in those trousers.
Sounds like a threat.
Nothing does matter
when I'm wearing these trousers.
I've been pulled in by their tractor beam.
I can't see the meat stains.
You can see some meat.
You can see some meat.
Yeah, it's the Look and Pay Show.
We're back.
And we're doing batteries
because it's to Thursday.
It's to Thursday.
It's to Thursday.
It's to Thursday.
Yeah, so good.
They name it twice.
Coming in with Lance's message.
Hi, gents.
Thanks for still managing to deliver a first-class show
after all these years.
That sounds inaccurate.
Can I stop you?
Do we definitely want to hear from someone called Lance?
They may have.
Lance Armstrong?
Again, issues.
Again.
Well, he'll catch us with a legal writ or two, I'm sure.
Yeah.
They have a Lance Reddick.
He's clearly an idiot because he said,
we're still delivering a first-class shore.
This man has no judgment.
Absolutely bullshit.
Let's see if he's got a bit of judgment with the old batteries.
How about these?
A couple of full-win batteries.
These are out of a cheap finger pulse oximeter,
one that has never given a correct reading. Sounds like he's a out of a cheap finger pulse oximeter one that's
never given a correct reading sounds like he's a man who's got two pulse oximeters yeah it's a hand
exciting um according to my oxygen sats reading i'm clinically dead an absolutely shocking waste
of 10 pounds uh they had an operating life of about 12 minutes before needing replacing
i think that's certainly the sort of battery we'd be looking to add to the battery daddy the full wind battery one word f u l l w i n before i give the verdict
any comment on the photo peter it's very straight common or garden photo yeah i like the green
behind it flashes on super alkaline like the design like the sun motif on the logo it's it's
not bad it's not bad it's the Fuck. Falwyn's been sent in.
Ah, fuck.
And I won't read
everyone else who sent them in,
but the pick of the people
who've sent these in
are on the 22nd of November
of 2022,
a listener called
Chunky Green
sent them in.
Chunky Green.
Which itself sounds
like a battery.
Certainly does.
So I'm afraid
that's not a new player.
Sorry, Lance.
Sorry, Lance.
Never mind.
Hello, Chris from Delaware. He says, Hello, L-adjective that's not a new player. Sorry, Lance. Oh, sorry, Lance. Never mind. Hello, Chris from Delaware.
He says, hello, L-adjective Luke and P-adjective Pete.
Here's what I don't recall hearing.
It doesn't mean it hasn't been heard, just not by me,
or I don't remember it.
Thanks for clarifying, Chris.
Great stuff.
In putting together my new Swiffer wet jet.
Wow.
I found this pack of double A's by, oh, Nanfang. What are you doing, Chris? What's a wet jet? I don't know. I don this pack of double A's by Nanfang.
What are you doing?
What's a wet jet?
I don't know.
I don't know.
But it's, I mean, they've included,
they've taken a picture of it in front of the wet jet,
which apparently vaporizes on demand.
That's all I've got.
I don't really know what a pile facile utiliser.
I imagine it utilises a pile facile.
Facile is easy, isn't it?
I thought it was face.
No, that's visage in French.
Facile.
Okay, right.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
It really doesn't matter because, Chris,
Nan Feng, we've had it a few times.
Nan Feng, you're the 19th person to say Nan Feng batteries,
and I'm afraid, Chris, you're not even the first. Chris, I can had it a few times. Nanfeng, you're the 19th person to say Nanfeng batteries in I'm Afraid Chris.
You're not even the first Chris.
I mean, I don't know, I can't be clearer than that.
You're not even the first Chris, but the first one from Delaware.
So there we go.
It's great funny it says, when an airspace is restricted for presidential travel
and a jet is scrambled to intercept a small plane that didn't get the message.
Fighter jets are loud.
How much trouble do you get into, do you reckon, if you just sort of started pissing around
near a president?
That's reference to the fact
that President Joe Biden
is from Delaware,
I guess.
Oh, yes, I suppose so.
He's always going out,
popping back,
having an ice cream,
talking about Israel,
Palestine.
When I was,
I told you when I was
walking the Lake District
by Alan Partridge,
I heard two fighter jets
doing training over the valley and it was fucking unbelievable. It sounded like an earthquake. Yeah, nice. I heard two fighter jets doing training over the valley
and it was fucking unbelievable.
It sounded like an earthquake.
Yeah.
I have no idea.
I don't deafen themselves,
those pilots,
but there you go.
Not a new player.
Next.
We have got a message
from Gethin.
Love a Gethin.
Good day, gents.
As we slowly paint our house
and tidy things up,
a basket full of old remotes
got dragged out the spare room.
As he started sorting the junk, I quickly
grabbed anything with a battery compartment to remove the batteries
for recycling. In a remote for something
that we have zero idea
what it was for, came
these leak cell
bad boys. L-E-K-E
cell bad boys.
Only a new player. A leak cell.
You are the first person called Gethin
to send in leak cells, Gethin. But you're the fifth person overall, I'm afraid. So that is another non-new player. Leaksell. You are the first person called Gethin to send in Leaksell, Gethin, but you're
the fifth person overall, I'm afraid, so that
is another non-new player.
Two of the five people who've sent these in have
been called Chris as well. We're going to keep a Gethin there.
Bit of Mike Tyson there. No new
players this week, Pete. How does that make you feel?
That is a real shame, to be honest. I'm absolutely
gutted. Makes you feel
bad, doesn't
it okay let's end with an email here for also from gethin he sent an email as well could be him
could be a different gethin okay um but we need to um we need to read it out before we go he says
g'day gents i reckon it is the same gethin it's the same greeting yes um a bit of a crossover in
the stack cinematic universe but marcus's story of the bull in the ramble uncut episode recently
reminded me of my time working on construction projects for the the bull in the ramble uncut episode recently reminded me of my time working
on construction projects for the national parks in the northern territory of australia here it was a
semi-common practice for the national parks to employ helicopter pilots slash professional hunters
to fly around the national parks and shoot feral animals primarily pigs goats and camels which are
a massive issue in australia as they cause erosion and strip significant vegetation.
As the areas are so vast and also very wet and boggy,
the most efficient way is just to fly around and shoot them from the air.
I'd imagine this may be similar in other countries.
However, I'm sure as there are significant issues
with large feral animal populations,
so it may be isolated here in Australia.
Cheers, get in.
So a lot of people listening will have a problem with that,
I would have thought, would they?
What, sniping animals from the air?
I mean, is it humane, Peter?
That's my concern.
It depends on how accurate you are, I suppose.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you have to shoot deer, don't you?
That's important.
Is it?
For their own sake.
Why?
Because they're such a prolific species
that you get a lot of cross-mutation,
that kind of stuff.
Oh, and they fuck themselves up.
So they have to be cold.
Right, okay.
So they stopped me dating that they someone they winged me i have been there before in a bar or
i've seen you work in your magic yeah and that is very much quote unquote magic uh down the bottom
of the bar yeah and um just as you were about to go in for the move to to seal the deal with a young
lady or man um a little infrared sniper dot.
Sniper dot.
Just to peel on your chest.
Ah.
On your chest.
No, not doing that.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, madam or fella.
Yeah.
I've got to be off.
Yeah.
I'm going to have one more drink at the bar alone.
And think about and practice magic.
Speaking of that, actually, before we go, I was, as you know.
It's going to be a big glass of iodine to calm me down.
Yeah.
I've rubbed it in
all my wounds um i was at the bar on friday my local pub on a friday i like to finish work about
three sneak in for a cycle back to the local pub yeah uh i've literally literally on friday three
quarters of a pint it's nothing vicious on friday i have one and a half pints one and a half pints
and i genuinely value my time of about 40 minutes standing there. That's nice.
On my own.
Yeah.
Well, it is nice.
On Friday, I'd just gone.
Talking politics.
Anyone who will catch your eye.
Just to myself.
I saw two people I know, and between them took up probably 35 minutes of my 40 minutes alone time.
Right.
And they're both nice people.
Right.
Annoying.
So, what, that's gone now?
But you can't twist that and sort of go
I was waylaid.
You can't explain that to other people in the house
that I need
that time. I'm stopping the clock.
For the household to keep on
rolling, baby, it needs me to be back
about five. Right, okay.
I'll get no quarter
given. Right. And fair enough.
Surely you've only got a couple of hours before bedtime for the Baba.
So you're allowed that extra half an hour, I think.
I've got to do dinner.
And I've got to do other stuff.
What's wrong with fishing?
Just appease the household with fish and chips under your arm.
Well, this regime.
I don't think so.
All I'm saying is that I can't just say to the people I know, no.
No.
Stop.
Yeah.
It's Luke's time.
I want to talk about Rotherham.
In many ways, it's a compliment that they come over.
Yes.
A lot of people wouldn't, would they?
So people that you know come over and talk.
Yeah.
How are you doing?
Good to see you.
Yeah.
Fancy a pint?
No, thanks.
I've got one.
I'm all right.
This pub sounds really friendly and nice.
It's a nice pub.
Sometimes I just bring my book up in front of their face.
Make a barrier.
My neighbor had a bit of a hangover.
He was drinking
whiskeys rather late into the night.
And I introduced him to the joy of bigger juice.
Right, okay.
And when I bought the same
bottles of bigger juice for him,
the man said, nobody drinks this stuff.
This is a London drink. And I said, yeah, I'm a London
man. I'm a hiney man.
Yeah, I'm a hiney man.
Drop a little rum in there do you
Bigger juice in rum
Well
It's very saccharine
Very sweet
That's what I'm saying
No difference to a
Malibu kind of vibe
Maybe
Maybe
One to think about for next time
One to think about
One to ponder
Could go with Malibu
Because it's got that
Coconut flavour to it doesn't it
Absolutely mate
Alright
Take us out of here Peter
I just want a bigger juice I just want a bigger juice We've been the Little Peach Shop Because it's got that coconut flavour to it, doesn't it? Absolutely, mate. All right. Take us out of here, Peter.
I just want a bigger juice.
I just want a bigger juice.
We've been the Luke and Pete Show.
We'll be back.
Get your batteries in for crying out loud.
If you think that was an acceptable performance,
you're going to be in training tomorrow.
Find new batteries for us.
Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com.
We need pictures.
We need proof.
We need double A's.
We need D cells.
We need double D cells.
Yeah, all of them.
All the emails that we haven't read so far.
One is about me being a potential soothsayer.
We'll do that one at some point.
One is about toenails again.
We've got one about the world's longest walk.
And we've got some more vasectomy stuff.
That's the stuff, yeah.
That's the kind of stuff we get. And if we don't talk about how crappy stand-ups are,
we'll get to them. We'll get to them. You don't like it that I don't like stand-up comedy. That's the kind of stuff we get. And if we don't talk about how crappy stand-ups are, we'll get to them.
We'll get to them.
You don't like it that I don't like stand-up comedy.
That's the problem.
I just think it's confusing,
bearing in mind that your entire career is very close.
Most of the major players are involved at some point
in that particular craft.
Is it my entire career?
Well, not your entire.
Your current career.
Yeah.
I think the best work I do is off mic. Ha, ha, ha, your current career. Yeah. I think the best work
I do is off mic.
Ha ha ha ha!
Well,
inspiring young minds.
I've got to do a resume
with a winner
of the Evening Standard
stand-up competition
of 1999.
Oh, did he?
Well, that's the thing,
if Mark Haines did comedy,
I'd probably like it more.
He beat,
who did The Office
with Merchant?
Merchant.
He beat Merchant.
Lovely, that's a lovely scalp. He beat Merchant. Lovely.
That's a lovely scalp.
Dan Antopolski.
Lovely scalp.
Don't know who that one is
but good scalp.
You like big heads.
Worth a Google.
Massive chin.
Like long face.
Like a Mr Moon kind of guy.
You know the stand-up
I like Peter.
Okay.
Stuart Lee.
Yeah.
Manning.
Daniel Kitson.
Manning.
And Tim Key.
Right.
They're the three I like.
It's the Guardian lot isn't it?
It's the Guardian lot. Which makes me hate myself more. What's the Guardian lot, isn't it? It's the Guardian lot.
Which makes me hate myself more.
What's wrong with McIntyre?
Let's get out of here.
I also like Alistair Green on Instagram,
and I like Josh Pugh as well.
Okay, yeah.
Well, that's the interesting thing
about that show I was talking about earlier,
One Day.
It does have a couple of those kind of blokes
who've made a bit of career
out of doing stuff online.
Instagram acting. Yeah, a little bit of Instagram acting. uh out of um out of doing stuff online active
good for a little bit instagram acting it's nice yeah there we go all right farewell bye the luke and pete show is a stack production and part of the acast creator network