The Luke and Pete Show - Mr Funky Pants

Episode Date: March 11, 2024

Today we conclude that if we can shoot rabbits, then we can shoot fascists too as Luke tells us all about the new Nazi documentary he’s seen. But talk quickly turns to Donaldson’s funky pants!Speaking of Pete, he’s destined to be the next biggest self-help guru with his latest top tips - oh and he also gives us a long awaited car update, drumroll please…Want to get in touch with the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you. Absolutely disgusting behaviour. Why is, you know, when you usually speak, air goes over some vocal cords, and that's absolutely fine. But going... Different use of the lungs and the vocal cords, innit? You're a disgusting human being. What have you got against throats? Sunshine. I do actually have a bad throat. Well, what happened?

I don't know. What happened? I think I had a dream where I was karate kicked in the windpipe. I don't know. Did you? It just really hurts. Windpipe. Get in there.

My uncle. Windpipe. It's not just a windpipe. I also use it for consuming hot dogs. Do I? My uncle used... No, that's the difference.

Is the windpipe basically the bit that... Could you not use... What's the mouth then? Does that not count as part of the windpipe? Terrible first day for medical training for you, this. Anyone got any questions? No.

I've got a few. I've got a few. You're up in court. You are supposed to be a respected surgeon. Mr. Moore, are you absolutely sure you want to proceed with this expert witness? Yes, I fucking do. What is a windpipe? Let him cook.

So I think you're getting confused between the trachea and the esophagus, aren't you? Yeah, but no. Yes, I fucking do. What is a windpipe? Let him cook. So I think you're getting confused between the trachea and the esophagus, aren't you? Yeah, but no. Famously separate compartments. Of what? The neck? Well, yeah, I guess so. That's the broad...

But surely windpipe includes everything past the tongue as well, because it's still a pipe that gives you wind. Yeah. I think you revolutionised modern science with this kind of chat, mate. I just think we should stop pissing about with two pipes and just let the food and air go where it wants to go.

A cost-cutting measure. Exactly. Yeah, more efficient. Why don't we mash them both together? Yeah, absolutely. Like a double-decker bar. Is there not a flap? I believe there's a flap involved.

Right. A valve that stops saying both things. Do you have a valve on your lung bit? Do you have a valve on your lung bit and do you have a valve on your stomach? Probably that's the default hell slide isn't it?

And the cock and balls. And the cock and balls. It's the piss versus spunk conundrum isn't it? Oh so the stomach just basically goes Stomach doesn't do

any of it. It's like that bit in not Muppet Babies Sesame Street where it goes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. I probably late 70s referenced that one,

but it did run until about mid-90s. The ball sort of flapping around in like a pinball machine. What, for the stomach? Yeah. I'm talking about the cock and balls now, though. Okay. Well, yeah, I mean, that's connected, isn't it? It's all connected, mate.

I remember in biology, you had to trace an oxygen atom into a muscle. Like an oxygen atom in the air, or it's CO2 or whatever, and you had to trace how it gets into your muscles and what it does. And I spent ages on that. The teacher was impressed with my work. What did you get? Instantly forgot about it, clearly.

Yeah. I probably had to mention the windpipe at some point. I think that you, what was your science GCSE, Mark? It was a B. It was combined science. I did combined science. I got a B as well. There you go.

I did double science combined. Yeah, it was for the people who didn't want to do... It would have been so useful to know a bit more. In America, right, this is what would have really helped me. You get taught how to do your taxes and also used to be able to... Car repair was one of the lessons. I've only got on the Wi-Fi I have access to,

and I'm going to answer no to both those things. I've got to do this again! Yeah. If my wife knows how to fix a car, which she may do, she'd know a lot more than me. She'd get that from her dad, not from her... You get driving lessons, don't you, at some universities and colleges in America.

But certainly, they used to have a lesson where you could fix your own car, which would be really useful. People are really sort of naive about car repair, I think. I totally agree. Including me. There's a lot of practical things that you can certainly learn. I found that...

I've got a lot to unpack here, so I'll just get through as quick as I can. I think a lot of people confuse quite and quite America with the kind of federalist system they've got where it does vary by state so you can do certain

things in certain states you can't do in other states but an example would be you know you ride your motorbike in say Connecticut you have to well you may not

have to wear a helmet you've you know ride up north to Massachusetts and you may have to wear a helmet so you gotta keep a helmet on top of you take it off

again just paint your head like a helmet yeah you should do that or wear a watermelon tattoo a helmet. So you've got to keep a helmet on top of you. You take it off again. Just paint your head like a helmet. Yeah, you should do that. Or wear a watermelon. Tattoo a helmet. Yeah, just... Basically, what you want to do... Dangerous stuff.

In Connecticut, when you've got to wear the helmet, I'm making this up, but it's an example. Wear the watermelon. Yes. When you get into Massachusetts, you cross the state line, get it off, help yourself to a lovely snack,

back into Vermont, get it on your bonce again. Yeah. It would stink, wouldn't it, after a while? You would attract really fast wasps. Yeah, you would. You absolutely would. And the other thing I was going to say is just that

when I went back to university as an older gentleman, I did find it quite interesting how little attention was paid to the younger students about the shit they're going to have to know and do when they go into the world of work. And that's a really old person thing to say, and it's quite boring. And Pete, you know me to be this kind of boring guy. Freshers do retire to my room,

and I'll tell you all about it. It wasn't that. I didn't have a room. It was a van. Yeah. And they just do not hold themselves up to a high enough standard for the working world, in my view. Okay.

Because they're not told to, because they don't know any better. Well, we didn't. So, probably. Definitely. Not probably, definitely. You're exactly the same. I'll run a pretty tight ship. The example would be, Pete, and you probably wouldn't care about this.

For example, you go to a two hour seminar. Yeah. You've paid to be there. Yes. Right. Um, and it's only about 10, 12 people in there for the seminar,

not a big lecture. And a couple of people just wander in 45 minutes after it starts. Yes. Halfway through everything that's happening. Yeah. Everyone's already been separated into groups. The main, the main presentations happen.

You're doing stuff. Yeah. And they just wander in, dump their bag down. In your view, should the professor be saying what you're doing stuff, and they just wander in, dump their bag down. In your view, should the professor be saying, what are you doing?

Or should he just let them carry on, which mostly they did? But I would say that the mature students that were certainly on my

course would very much be the ones sitting at the front of the lecture hall asking all the questions. I'm obviously there. Slowing me up.

I mean, the younger people who just turn up later. That's what I mean. I just want to get out of there. Like, but you remember what you were like at university. Yeah. You would have been exactly the same.

Yeah. I didn't go to, I still have. That HND in media studies didn't come by itself. I still have. Happens of Nash destruction. I would say that when you sort of go into those, I mean, I still have fever dreams where I have to attend three classes

before the end of the semester or else they just don't let me enter the exam. If only you were having those nightmares about library fine. Exactly, yeah. No, I think for me it was different because the first time I got involved it was just a box tick and I did it and it was easy. And I didn't actually find,

the second time around was much harder and was a much better university and a much better qualification and I just think that, you know, in that example with those younger guys

turning up late and not really knowing what the fuck's going on and half of them not turning up to any of them, even though they've paid and even though that they've been accepted

because their grades are good or whatever, it's just like, you're just fucking wasting your time. That's why, I don't want to tell people they're wrong or be an old man about it, but you're basically wasting your time.

You're going to do that, you might as well just go and work for a year and say to potential employees, I've got a year's work experience, rather than, I went to a good university, flunked out on my Masters because I didn't fucking turn up

and it cost me 11 grand. Well, most people are going to go, well, you're a fucking idiot then. So that was a Masters course? Yes. So everyone was in the Masters course? Do you know anything about me? No, but like,

I'm just saying that like... Yeah, it was in the Masters course, yeah. So I'm just saying, but could it have been a module that people who were undergraduates also had? That's what I'm saying. No. Right.

You have to be a... You can't get onto it without that. Chris Masters from To Catch a Predator, was he in there? He wasn't there, no. Take a seat, sir. I actually, I was surprised because when I turned up

it didn't actually turn out to be the Masters snooker tournament I got knocked out in the first round couldn't put a break of more than 20 together it's embarrassing

it'll be 8-0 by Ronnie O'Sullivan letting everyone down can't happen to everyone though Ronnie is very good Peter what's been going on with you

so you've got the big recording trousers on today the big recording trousers I've. The big recording trousers on? I've put a post on the Luke and Pete show Instagram for people who want to see them. For those who aren't of that persuasion. Whoa, hang on. Where did you take a picture of me? You signed all your rights away.

You signed them all away. We haven't got a little poster up saying that you might be filmed in this facility. That's not fair. I think all the cameras do give it away. I hope you're on time for your cock kiss. Not 40 That's not fair. I think all the cameras do give it away. I hope you're on time for your cock kiss. I did.

Not 40 minutes late for that. I did say to you when we first started doing this show, one of the riders for me, one of the deal breakers for me, if you and I are doing this, is I want to do whatever I want, whenever I want to do it. Okay.

And I think I got you a particularly weak point and you said yes. Yeah. Anyway, for those who aren't of the Instagram persuasion, allow me to fill you in they're a pair of very shiny they are very shiny red cheap with a blue leopard print very very i don't mean to be rude i'm not in a position to speak about this kind of stuff very freely i don't think they used to be that tight uh have you been they probably were tighter

someone's not been skipping leg day but can tell you what I can see every every nook and cranny you can obviously see my tattoos through it I can but they've almost gone translucent they're so tight it's like when Homer Simpson wipes a really greasy sort of hot dog I think on a wall

and it goes see through it's like that what's the weekend brought that's made you want to start the Monday, start the week with those trousers? I had a mate stay in, so the room I get dressed in just had a lot of stuff in it.

The room I get dressed in. The room I get dressed in. You're not endearing yourself to people listening. What do you mean? The room I get dressed in? Most people don't have a dressing room, mate. I didn't say I had a dressing room. I said the front room. The room I get dressed in. The room I get dressed in? Most people don't have a dressing room, mate. I didn't say I had a dressing room. I said the front room.

The room I get dressed in. The room I get dressed in. My car. Which some people call the garden. Some people call it a Jaguar XF. Yeah. 2014. Still rocking the two dope rides? The dope ride in question that's come from Japan,

passed its MOT at the weekend. Fantastic. So we can do an episode from the car. Not quite yet because certain certain just park agreements have not been kept by the people who offered me

a parking space they said it's a lovely big parking space and behind a garage and I was like right how much are you paying for it I paid about 70 quid for it

and it I couldn't fit the car in because it's so long and capacious amazing what a capacious vehicle so then I so then I then I park it

on someone else's drive that I've rented. But that means I can't tinker for the time in which it takes to get registered. And I certainly can't record anything

on someone else's driveway. That would be mental. Look, I'm going to Lanzarote later this week. Oh, yes please. When I come back I want to be in that car. You want to be in that car.

Well, I hope you take a six week holiday because that's how long the DVLA take to register a car. Our audience is demanding it. Right, okay. We need to do it. Need to do it. I need to be in the back of that car, my feet up, talking about the plush interior and

why it smells so much of cigarettes. Well, I mean, the MOT man did say, I'll level with you, it's a bit of a mess. He said, I'll level with you, it's a bit of a mess it's hand built though you know

Toyota engineers have to work their whole lives to get the chance to work on just the lacquer on the paint apparently it is

but this one's a bit of a mess but none of them can build cars we've just got all the painters to do the wiring looms

he's still past it though he passed it but that doesn't mean I'm not going to have trouble further down the line we've just got all the painters to do the wiring looms. He's still part of it. He's still past it, though. He passed it, but I mean, that doesn't mean I'm not going to have trouble further down the line. I think I've figured out

what it was. I've figured out. I think I've figured out how to fix the thing that needs to be fixed. It feels to me the system's broken if he's literally calling you up

saying that and saying, well, that's a pass. Yeah, well, it is a pass. It's just not dangerous. MRT just tells you whether your car's dangerous or not. Right. It's dangerous to know.

It depends who's handling the little beast yeah so I am so I've got a little driveway I need to get it on another driveway but I don't have

the legal deniability to get it on another driveway so I I'll sort this right hello at lukeandpeacher.com

can you get me some tread plates within five miles nautical or otherwise right of Pete Donaldson's house, and you have a drive to donate to a man who, let's be fair, we all know this. I can get a drive. I just need to tinker.

Let me finish my appeal. Let me tinker. You would have heard Pete's output over the last however many years. You know as well as I do, everyone, he's struggling. He's struggling he's struggling big time he's struggling existentially

I drove past the car I drove past the car he's struggling mentally I drove past the car he's struggling sartorially the man is struggling

in every way possible and that's why I've written a book My Struggle by Pete Donaldson he's on Stephen Bartlett week Monday

I'm on Stephen Bartlett I think a book like My Struggle, by Pete Donaldson. He's on Stephen Bartlett, week Monday. I think a book like My Struggle would be on a different podcast. It sure would. Speaking of which, actually, Peter, now I'm going to take this under advice because I haven't actually read the deep dive yet. Right. But one of the guys who is in the ballpark, shall we say, of your Stephen Bartlett's of this world, of this world,

has been the subject of a deep dive long read. Okay. Is, of course, your friend and mine, Jay Shetty, who does a lot of this stuff, and people pay him a lot of money for all this self-help business. Who'd have thought people in the self-help sphere were potentially problematic? Not me.

No, not me. Apparently Jay Shetty's have been the subject of this huge, he's big in podcasting, of course. He's been the subject of a huge long read,

deep dive by the Guardian over in the US, I think. All right. A lot of stuff's been going on. Well worth having a look. Google that and give it a read. Peter,

I hope you don't go down that road yourself after your struggles with your car tip you quite literally, mentally, over the edge. You turn into some kind of Huttler-Pudley-ian Tony Robbins. Yeah, I mean, like,

I think there's... That's Tony Robbins, the self-help guy, not Tony Robbins who's been the subject of quite a lot of accusations that were quite unsavoury. Which one's the other one? I don't know who the other Tony Robbins is, to be honest. Who's Blackadder? Listen to what I'm saying.

What I mean is, you could become the Hartler Pudley and Tony Robbins. The self-help part, not the part about the touching. Okay. The duality of man there. It's one man. Right, okay. Could he not self-help himself not to do bad stuff he could self-help himself could he not could he not yourself yeah doctor heal thyself

yeah um i think that i would be a good self-help guru but it would mainly uh i'd be saying sentences like just stop doing it yeah do you know what i mean have you started doing it yeah have you thought about not doing that go for a run that seems to be a lot of because i you know i hear a lot of like um sort of self-help podcasty sort of stuff and it seems to be go for a run you're here for a good time not a long time don't go out searching for i don't think they say that today don't go out searching for that to an addict no but like i think self-help podcasts certainly and that kind of space it's sort of separated in three ways

if the podcast seems to skew female depressingly they always just talk about enrich your life with family and friends and stuff

if it goes male it's get out at 5am and rise and grind and sell things and then if it skews sell things if you are 30 and you've not got a side hustle...

Yeah, exactly. Change your circle. Yeah, kill yourself. Just kill yourself. Yeah, just all that stuff. So it's all just... It's just really depressingly kind of codified into the patriarchy for me.

Yeah. And then the third way is the grift shift into Donald Trump is king and fascism. Just straight fascism, basically. king and fascism just straight fascism basically basically authoritarian fascism correct and I think there are

more traditional and perhaps more perhaps less labour intensive ways of getting into fascism yeah okay

just start with the clothing yeah that's easier start with a cool t-shirt yeah but you used to be a bit of an edgelord yourself, Pete, didn't you?

No, I didn't used to be an edgelord. You did. I did not used to be an edgelord. I say naughty things, but they're never naughty, naughty things. You love your memes. Love my memes, yeah? Yeah. That's not edgy, though, is it?

You always used to say to me... I'll have a go at Captain Tom. All bets are off with him. Yeah. Yeah. You have a big old pop at the right wing. That's allowed, isn't it? Yeah, I think so.

They're to be shot at. They're the ducks in a row, aren't they? Yeah, I think so. Speaking of which, actually, this brought me on nicely onto something I did over the weekend. Not in that way. So I have about two or three hours downtime in the evening. Yes, okay.

Yeah, where everything's quiet in the house and everyone's sleeping apart from me. I probably should go to bed, but I'm stubborn and I'm like, I've had no time to myself today, so I'm just going to stay up. And yes, I'll be tired tomorrow. Yes, okay, yeah, yeah.

But sitting around procrastinating is me time. Yeah, just clawing back a bit of your life. I think a lot of people will relate to that. I think if I say to you that, for example, I spend 90% of those evenings finding and failing something to watch on telly before just packing it in and going to bed, lifting up my Kindle for about five minutes, decide I'm bored with the book and then just struggle to sleep, that's the kind of thing we're talking about.

Are you a sleep struggler then? Not really. At the end of the day? No, not really. What I find, I'm actually, having said all that, and I will come on to the main point, but just while you've diverted me slightly, I'm actually a having said all that, and I will come on to the main point, but just while you've diverted me slightly, I'm actually a very good sleeper. Traditionally, it's been inbuilt in me, I think.

It's genetic or something. My son, as a result, is a very good sleeper for his age. Touch wood. I mean, he'll go all the way through now, and he's only nine and a half months, which is amazing. And he has done for months. Anyway, what I find, the trick to good sleep is i properly like draw a mental circle around myself when i get into bed right and go anything else that's happening anything else

you know with the exception of my family that are immediately here yeah can't be affected or changed by like yeah i can't do anything about it right right? So I would say You have such mental strength. I've got a mantra where I say whether I'm going to be in this bed for 10 minutes or 10 hours I'm going to value this time.

And if I get woken up in 10 minutes by my son or my wife whatever and I have a terrible night I am going to value this and I'm going to use it. Use it as a lesson.

And the way that helps and obviously it's never 10 minutes but the way that actually helps me is if I am only going to have to get about 5 hours one night and I'm going to have to pile through the as a lesson. And the way that helps, and obviously it's never 10 minutes, but the way that actually helps me is if I am only going to have to get about 5 hours one night and I'm going to have to pile through the next day and just get on with it, it teaches me to value that 5 hours, and so I don't spend my time

worrying about it. I just try and switch off, I just forget it. I can't change anything right now and I'm generally a pretty good sleeper. Anyway, on Saturday night, I had nothing going on, and I went on to iPlayer and I found this documentary as part of the Storyville series, which is a very, very rich theme to mine

when it comes to documentaries. And it was about a guy who found out that his father was essentially, his father passed away and so he started to find out all these things about him. And this is set in Australia. And his father was a Jewish partisan

during the Second World War. So he had his son when he was quite a lot older, in his late 50s I believe. And he only knew his father as this really nice kind of gentle older guy, but he's got a couple of older brothers, and all this stuff starts coming out.

Essentially, his father was a partisan in Belarus. Do you know what a partisan is? Basically, he was like a guerrilla fighter against the Nazis, right, as a Jewish guy, and so he did whatever he did to survive and sadly lost a lot of his family in the Holocaust, and ended up, at the end of the war, him and his brother came to Australia.

It's called Our Dad the Nazi Killer. And they start finding out about him. Not only did they find out that he was a partisan during the war and him and his brother, the guy's uncle, was blowing up trains, Nazi trains, all the rest of it. Pretty kind of interesting, like, James Bond type stuff. But he finds

out that he started that his dad founded this group called Nekoma, which is, I think, Yiddish for revenge. And they started compiling little dossiers in Australia about all the Nazi war criminals that fled to Australia and that they knew were living among them, basically, to the point where they were living quite close, doing the same kind of trades. And when these Jewish guys, Holocaust survivors, among them basically to the point where they were living quite close doing the same kind of trades and when the

when these these Jewish guys Holocaust survivors complained to the Australian authorities the Australian authorities refused to act they just wouldn't do anything

and by that point everyone in the West was obsessed with communism and they just didn't want to fucking do it they just wanted to let bygones be bygones of course

a lot of Jewish people completely understandably so didn't want to let it go. So he starts putting together this team and he essentially travels well, they think, just starts travelling around Australia killing Nazis.

He's like a real life and glorious bastard. It was incredible to watch. And then obviously these children, because he's got this guy who's the main protagonist finding out about his father. He's got two older brothers who didn't really know much about it either. And they start wrestling with the idea of justice and whether it's right or wrong. The two paths in front of you, whether you kind of let things go and just let it go

and just try and live your life as much as you can, which is what he taught his kids. You know, we're happy here now. We've got a family. People have survived. You know we we we grieve for the ones who were killed but we we treat every day

like it's an amazing gift because of what we've been through and the other side which is basically fuck that yeah these guys are cunts we're killing as many of

them as we can because that's what they deserve it's a really interesting documentary I'd recommend it it's on BBC iPlayer called Our Dad the Nazi Killer part of the

story of Il Suri which is always excellent anyway so I ended up watching that and I did that thing where you put something on it at about 10.30. I just give this a go and I was absolutely gripped.

Yeah. And before you know it, midnight's rolled around and you're like, oh, Jesus. Oh, no. I've made myself tired again. Yeah, but it was well worth watching, Peter.

I don't know if it'll be up your street, but I bloody enjoyed it. It's got no tech in it, though. It's got no... So you might not like it. Well, I mean, I guess it depends on how they met their end, I suppose, as Nazis.

A lot of them, it was... Guns. Oh, yeah. Yeah. One of them, I think, was led into the forest and made to disembowel himself. Oh, I mean... Yeah.

On the other hand, though, he was a Nazi. Yeah, but I mean, that is... Yeah, I mean, when you are wrestling with, you know, someone hunting and killing Nazis, that's another step forward, isn't it? Yeah. I think every single one of them should have, I think you're within your rights.

I think you're well within your rights. Yeah. I think if you can't, it was a war, first and foremost, millions of people died. If you can't get stuck into some Nazis, and I think the world's gone mad, but you can't say anything these days. If I can shoot rabbits, I can shoot fascists.

Yeah, as James Dean Brampton stole from someone else. Probably some kind, I think it was someone in the Spanish Civil War off the top of my head. It's time for the break! By the way, speaking of the Main Street Preachers, old Nicky Wire's doing a six music show at the moment, isn't he? He is, he's in for... I do listen to a lot of six music these days uh because i'm i'm i'm a little bit fatigued with the uh you know the 90s indie stuff that most radio stations play these days

but um i find that the six music doesn't really know what it wants to be these days no it's a fucking mess it's a fucking mess and uh everybody there's no kind of funny people on there anymore there's just northern cheeky boys talking about this and that and then there's um kind of funny people on there anymore there's just northern cheeky boys talking about this and that and then there's is it Marianne Hobbs who's on Midmornings she just sounds

terribly depressed about everything yeah so there's Lauren's hi I'm just I'm just about to play a song and I'm going to cry it's just

it just seems a real missed opportunity to have someone who's just got a bit about them and but then I find sometimes who's just it just seems a real missed opportunity to have someone who's just got a bit about them and but then I find sometimes

who's is Lisa Tarbuck on Radio 2 this is very UK centric doesn't matter we're British if you don't like it

if you're listening you're locking ear anything out of our rotten teeth if you're listening to this from another country go fuck yourself

carry on Pete go fuck yourself yeah no seriously thanks for listening carry on Lisa Tarbuck on Radio 2 she's the only female from another country, go fuck yourself. Carry on, Pete. Go fuck yourself. Yeah. No, seriously, thanks for listening. Carry on. Lisa Tarbuck on Radio 2. She's the only female

radio presenter who's been allowed to dick about in history. Can they pick their own music on Six Music still? I presume they have a pretty big hand in it.

Yeah, I think that's a problem. The idiots have taken over the asylum. I think the, I think the, I think the... I would say that you're allowed too much kind of rope, I suppose. Oh, right.

So you can play whatever you want. But it just seems to be the music nerds have taken over and they're just playing any old crap. Not any old crap. It's all very listenable, but I just find there's no through line. It's like this is what security stands for. I find that with a lot of radio stations now, though,

because on... So six music about, what are we thinking? Probably 10, 12 years ago had a brilliant schedule. It was Keaveney. It was Radcliffe and McConey, I think, at one point. It was Gideon Coe. He was really good. There was about four or five shows in a row, which were brilliant.

And I think Lauren LeVne did Midmorning now, I think. She was good as well. And now it's very, very confused. And if I go into the kitchen to stick on a bit of Six Music while I'm cooking or whatever at like 6pm, you can sometimes just be

a properly pumping DJ in session and have no idea what you're listening to. Laverne gets away with a delicious 7-star for a breakfast show which I think is just no she's 8.30 isn't she nah 7.30

7.30 that is that is an incredible hook flex Keeven only got his proper break on on XFM because she didn't

work Fridays and then they had to build this whole kind of feature around her not doing Fridays just because her agent was really good

and went she's not doing Fridays right so then they started Fridays are different man when I did when I did breakfast papers 7.30

I had breakfast papers good on her I had to the cab would come for me like quarter to five and that was just for papers yeah 7.30 breakfast shows

are great but anyway Six Music musically is a mess I enjoy listening to it but I think that I don't like the way that radio forces

women into sounding cooler than they are. You know what I mean? They force these voices to sort of pretend that they can only be cool. They can't be silly. They can't be stupid. But Lisa Tarbuck is the only one on Radio 2 who's allowed to piss about. I mean, on Radio 2, speaking of that, I mean, Jeremy Vine's not cool. He's not cool.

Well, again, his show's, you know, vault fasters all over them. It's like the one show. Yeah, but I think people need to have a proper kind of thoughtful sit down about the Radio 2 thing because you've got Vernon Kaye handing over to Jeremy Vine, handing over to Spoonie, sitting in for Scott Mills.

What's going on? Scott Mills. No one listening outside of the UK will even know where any of these people are. How would you describe Spoonie, Pete? He was a garage DJ, wasn't he? DJ Spoonie? Came through in the garage era, I think.

Then became a professional Man United fan for a while. Man United fan, right. Professional Man United fan for a while. Got an agent who we use sometimes, and she is always trying to get him to come and work here. Right, okay. That won't be happening. Okay. Probably too expensive.

I think DJ Spoonie was on when, I think John Peel died. Oh, was he? And he was doing some... It was akin to when I had to do an hour long dedicated to Prince when he died. What, no prep? No prep. Didn't know what was going on.

Didn't really have a handle on what was happening stick the whole purple rain on that's a concept Alan found it hard to elicit the gravitas that the the moment needed

so to speak but yeah it's another one do you find it so the toughest rodeo assignment I ever had was on Talk Sport

on my show on the 7 till 10 on Friday nights about quarter to 7 the news broke that UEFA had, um, banned Manchester city from the champions league for two years.

Okay. Right. Yeah. But it broke at like 12 minutes before seven. And I was like, okay, fucking hell, we're going to have to lead with this.

So I called Rob Harris from the associated press and said, would you like to come on at seven? You can name your price. And he was like, yeah, all right. And he came in and just explained the whole thing for me. 50 pounds. Yeah. And and as soon as he finished

I faded them down now we're going to talk about our favourite David Beckham goals see you after this that's how we got on with it we haven't had a break

Peter I don't know what producer Rory or producer Taylor will want us to do maybe they'll want us to go for a break now or they'll want us

to put it in later just let's put it in later that makes sense we're heading towards the end of the show well you've just listened back to this and you've heard the break before we've put this in later but Just let's just put it in later. That makes sense. We're heading towards the end of the show. Well, you've just listened back to this and you've heard the break before. We've put this in later,

but you might know that because it's the, um, the, the marvelry, marvelous modern, uh, modern recording technique. And you'll never know that it's been put in later.

So I'm going to do the, um, call to a break now. It's time for the break. Seamless. Good one. Um, here's the end of the show.

Uh, farewell. This has been the Luke and Pete show. Hello, Luke and Pete show.com.keandpeetshow.com if you want to get in touch with the show you can also

say hello on Twitter head over to Instagram to see Pete's trousers for sure I'm going to sneeze go for it

I'm allergic to the end of the Luke and Pete show that was a really fuck off that was a really weird sneeze it was like you didn't mean it oh god my body's falling to bits I love it I've told you I've probably told you That was a really weird sneeze. It was like you didn't mean it. Oh, God. My body's falling to bits.

I love it. I've probably told you the sneeze story in my house before, haven't I? What, you sneezed so hard a crow came out of your bum? No. The story is, I'll just do it very quickly because I might have done it before. Don't second guess yourself. Is this because I pulled you up on repeating it? I've got a brilliant story

that you've never heard before. Okay. Here we go. I'm real excited! When I was living with my parents back in the day, I was fortunate enough to bring a girl back to the house.

Whoa. Everyone was asleep. What? It was fine. What? One night stand? She kept sneezing. Right?

She kept sneezing. It's the seventh of an orgasm. Right? And that's all. And that was the best she could expect. Anyway, cut a long story short, she went,

parents didn't know. Turns out, they heard the sneezing, and the following Sunday, at like Sunday lunch around the family or anything, my dad starts taking the piss out of me for quote unquote, I've never noticed this about you before, but you sneeze like a girl. Do a sneeze now so we can hear you sneezing.

Right. And I couldn't do a sneeze because no one could do a sneeze on demand. Yeah. So I didn't. But my point is they jumped to the conclusion that it was far more likely that I sneezed like a girl than a girl would ever be interested in being with me. Okay. Right.

Good. See you on Thursday. That's a banger. See you on Thursday. I wish you'd done this at the start of the show. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network.