The Luke and Pete Show - Pete talk
Episode Date: September 28, 2023Remember that time capsule that was just filled with silt? Well, they have now found something else in there. Convenient...There has been another interesting find, this time in Brazil, where a brand n...ew animal was amazingly discovered. Plus, Luke starts teaching Pete how to make small talk. It went even worse than you might think.Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Subscribe to our YouTube HERE. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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It's the LukaPetra I'm Pete Donaldson
I'm joined by
Lukey Moore
on this beautiful Thursday
every single Thursday
we talk about
things you want us
to talk about
and lots of things
we found on the internet
and precious little
more work than that
is done
to be honest
and it's autumn
isn't it now
so it's starting to get
a little bit windy
it is
autumn days
when the grass is jewelled
and the silken side
a chestnut shell
and I've been
blown off my bike
probably about 15 times
since I last spoke to you
almost
even like your
what like those
big lime bikes
they're heavy aren't they
how do you
toss yourself off there
they're not that heavy
compared to a Santander bike
fine
but they're two heavy bikes
and with me on it as well
because I lift out of a canal
why
why are you getting blown off?
Where are you riding?
I ride home from here.
Ride home from here?
Where do you think I'm riding?
Yeah, but like,
where is there so much...
I'm doing my own fucking
like Tour de France,
aren't I?
Well, it sounds like
you're going on like
a really high building
or something.
It's eight miles from here.
Right.
Gotta go across the river.
And you say you don't work out.
It's an e-bike.
It's an e-bike.
Yeah, but the battery only lasts.
Have you ever sort of like started with battery in the charge
and then the bike's run out of battery?
I try and limit it to having a bike that's no lower than three lime segments
on the energy chart.
Because it's annoying otherwise.
Because South London's quite hilly.
So where I live, I'm on a hill.
You need the e.
If I run out of energy before the hill, it's big trouble.
Yeah.
It's electric doping.
It's mechanical doping.
It's mechanical doping.
It is essentially that, yeah.
And listen, occasionally it's windy.
That's all I'm saying.
I want to follow up with you, Peter, on something that I mentioned,
I believe last week, not last show, but the show before that,
about the disappointing time capsule.
Yes, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
They opened a time capsule
in america and it was just full of dust yeah so 200 years old from west point the military academy
in new york state storage agreements were not fulfilled no they weren't but the plot has
thickened because although the guy um was embarrassed that there was nothing in it
other than silt when they took it away and went through it properly,
they found six silver American coins
dating from 1795 to 1828 and a commemorative medal.
So it was a 1795 five-cent coin,
an 1800 Liberty dollar,
an 1818 25-cent coin,
a 10-cent and a one-cent coin from 1827 and an 1818 25 cent coin, a 10 cent and a 1 cent coin from 1827
and an 1828 50 cent coin.
And there was an Erie Canal
commemorative medal dating from 1826.
I just
wonder if it's a coincidence that he actually
found these behind the scenes when everyone
wasn't looking. Yeah, so
I thought he opened it in front of everybody,
assembled a throng
in the world's press
yeah
and then emptied out
and there was just
a load of dust in there
yeah but I think
they just went through it
the dust
they went through the dust
yeah look
I'm only reporting it
as it's been reported
it sounds like
you're right
it sounds like
absolute shit
sounds like he's just
had a load of coin
like you know in
Shawshank Redemption
where he's
he's digging a tunnel
yeah
and he's
dropping the little dust out of his pocket down his trouser leg do you reckon he did that I Redemption where he's digging a tunnel and he's dropping the little dust
out of his pocket
down his trouser leg.
Do you reckon he did that?
I reckon so.
Because he's like,
yeah, he's in a situation
where he feels like
he's letting people down.
He wants that buzz back.
He wants the kind of
like the world's press
hanging off his every word again.
So he's like,
oh, look at our phone.
I reckon he'll find
another time capsule
at some point.
It'll just be like he's made it himself. I love that in five years time he's like oh look what I found I reckon he'll find another time capsule at some point it'll just be like
he's made it himself
I love that
he's still just saying
guess what I found
not again Paul
Paul
not again
what are you doing
what's his name Paul
I don't know
Paul's always my
go to name
when I'm coming up
with a name
yeah is that right
Paul
and Sarah goes
you always use Paul
I don't know why
I just always do
I don't know why you use
I don't know really why can't we think of a name other than Paul like do you know when and I was going I don't know why I just always do I don't know really
why can't we think of a name
other than Paul
like
do you know when someone
I was thinking
what's the name
Simon Paul Simon
I can't get away from Paul
for crying out loud
when you have
it's a curious part
of human nature
that when you have
an unlimited choice of things
you can't think of anything
yes
so when like Spotify
came along
you were like on paper
you were like
oh my god I can listen to any record I want you open it up you can't think of what you Yes. So when Spotify came along, you were like, on paper, you were like, oh my God,
I can listen to any record I want.
You open it up,
you can't think of what you want to listen to.
That's why I think,
you know,
we talk about this,
well,
curation will be key in the future
because you've got the entire,
I think if you go on like YouTube
or go on like,
if you said,
go on YouTube,
Pete,
look at something that you like
and I'd need my algorithm
to suggest something to me
because it's like watching,
it's like choosing something to watch on Netflix, isn't it?
Yeah, it's hard.
We've spent so many times,
and it's like an old kind of joke, I guess,
but we spend so much time just sort of like looking at the menu,
looking at the what-a-villain.
Well, what I've had to do now,
if I'm in a situation where I think,
okay, I'm going to make myself some lunch
and I'm going to watch something on telly, Netflix or whatever,
I'd now have to work out what I'm going to watch something on telly Netflix or whatever I'd now have to
work out
what I'm going to do first
get it queued up
and then
otherwise I
finish my lunch
without actually selecting anything
yeah yeah yeah
another example of that
was Jack Dean
of Jack's Happy Hour
a friend
a friend and former colleague
he used to do this thing
on his YouTube channel
and he had me on it
as a guest
where he talked about
the fandom of support
in the club that you support
yeah
and obviously I talked about
Portsmouth
and the final thing he did was
he said you've got a minute
to name as many
Portsmouth players as you can
can't do it yeah
impossible
yeah
the record was something like
for him
of all his guests
the record was like
eight people
yeah
it's mad isn't it
it's fucking impossible
it's so hard
because there's so much
to choose from
you end up being
completely paralysed by the choice.
I did one, like a spicy wing copy thing from,
I think one of Jack Smith's on video,
and I forgot Alan Shearer.
Exactly.
It's mad, isn't it?
It's mad what your brain does.
It happens.
Can I just also bring into the conversational table,
as it were, one of the stories I found most interesting,
probably of the year actually right um have you seen um there scientists and in brazil have discovered the
world's first dog fox hybrid yeah now how's this happened it's it's an incredible thing so basically um an animal rescue team
was dispatched to reports of an injured animal yeah in a park reserve i forget where it is
and it was a hit and run incident right and the creature the animal was pretty badly injured and
and the environmental um people screaming don't look at me transfer her transferred it to a vet
i'm a freak!
And the vets went and looked after it, right?
And it got moved,
they didn't actually know
what it was.
So they moved it
to the Centre for Conservation
and Rehabilitation
of Wild Animals.
And then these kind of scientists
started to take an interest
and go,
okay, right,
this is interesting.
It looks like a fox,
but it behaves like a dog.
It dances like a dog.
And they did a load of
tests on it
and it turned out to be
a dog fox
yeah
that's absolutely insane
isn't it
I didn't even know
that was possible
did you
we've got like
I just don't understand
why
this hasn't happened before
does that make sense
because what do you think
because they should come
into contact with each other
a lot more often
yeah
I mean like our dogs
could come into contact with a fox at any moment.
Who's to stop one of them having a go?
But there's certain species that can cross over,
but they have a very, very low success rate in terms of fertility and stuff.
So maybe it's something to do with that.
But the way that it was talked about in this paper,
it just seemed to be like,
we just don't see this very often.
I just don't understand why we wouldn't see more,
or why we haven't heard about it a bit more.
And sadly, it died.
The Z-donk died.
What, from the car?
They don't know how it died.
It's not been reported.
But yes, they're very disappointed about that
because they wanted to study it.
Just make another one.
If you know how it's been made just make
another one.
It might be only a
very certain species of
dog can cross with.
They seem to know
what it is and how
it came to be so
let's make another one.
I want to look at it
more.
I think you should
start doing your own
stuff.
Don't be honest with
me Kevin.
You've got a couple
of dogs.
I've got a couple of
dogs.
Access to a fox.
Access to a fox.
I've always had
access to foxes.
Yeah.
I saw my cat in the garden once being completely indifferent to a fox? Access to a fox. Got always access to foxes. Yeah. Yeah. I saw my cat in the garden once being completely indifferent to a fox,
and I was like, okay, so they're not that bothered about each other.
And then about a week later, one of them got attacked.
Oh, right, yeah.
Got an abscess, had to go to the vet.
Cost me a lot of money.
But the dog-fox hybrid is interesting because you never hear of new mammals, really.
Whenever there's a new species being talked about,
it's very, very rarely, if ever, a mammal there's a new species being talked about it's very very rarely
if ever a mammal right
what's the last one
the bonobo
boron
nah it's not a bonobo
where was the last one
isn't the most recent one
that one in the
Malaysian jungle
there's a monkey
I know it was a gibbon
or a monkey
yeah but you're talking
okay so let me clarify
so you're talking about
a very slight difference
in an already existing
species right
they're all that though
we've explored everything.
There's no one's finding something with five legs.
There's no new thing to be found, truly.
So you're right.
The most recent one was a new species of monkey identified in the DR Congo.
Right.
And that was a couple of years ago, wasn't it?
Yeah, I think so.
No, about 10 years ago, maybe.
Right. And then you get couple of years ago, wasn't it? Yeah, I think so. No, about 10 years ago maybe. And then you get
occasional new bats and stuff.
But I'm talking about a whole new
species. Right.
In 2010 there was
a newly identified leopard.
Right, okay.
It's still the same species though, isn't it?
With a slight differential.
Yeah, exactly.
So people aren't going to go, a leopard?
I've never heard of that.
They're going to go, oh right, it's a different type of leopard.
It's like a Ford car, but it's just a different model.
Alex Turner in it.
Same Sashie.
Sashie?
I seem to remember in somewhere like Borneo or Papua New Guinea or something,
there was a brand new mammal discovered not a long ago.
Right.
It was like a little bear.
Little lad.
Yeah.
Little lad.
Little bear and it had a t-shirt on.
It said, fuck me, I'm a bear.
So I'm not going anywhere near any foxes.
But yeah, I just thought that was an interesting story.
And yeah, so there we go.
Did you want to do any stuff on the old NFTs, mate?
Well, I would.
Because we touched on it on the roundabout.
Yeah, so last week we heard that the NFT market is absolutely,
the ass has fallen out of it.
I think the gold rush is over for all the NFT guys.
Was it actually a gold rush?
Yeah, a lot of people made a lot of money off the old NFTs.
How have they done that?
Well, how have they done that? So they mint their own and then gold rush? Yeah, a lot of people made a lot of money off the old NFTs. How have they done that? Well, how have they done that?
So they mint their own and then sell them?
Yeah.
Will they trade them or what?
Yeah, mint their own, sell them.
Well, I mean, like, remember the first tweet of Jack Dorsey
and all those kind of crazy ones?
People made a lot of money.
Paris Hilton was on one of the late night shows talking about hers.
But it's just wealthy people who are already wealthy
selling essentially kind of, not contraband,
but like access to their own shit.
Yeah.
And mugs are just buying them.
Didn't Interpol do one with David Lynch?
Right, okay.
And then they got booed out the fucking building.
And so I think they sacked it off in the end.
So the report this week is that 95% of the market for NFTs is totally worthless.
Which isn't really ideal,
is it?
Well, I would say,
yeah,
if you kept hold of them,
but if you sold them,
well done you.
You're done.
Yeah, and you've treated
with the respect
that it deserved.
The one man I think
who wins on this one
is probably,
who's that fella,
Martin Shkreli
who had that Wu-Tang album?
Yeah.
Actually, that took him off him, didn't it, when he went to prison?
Yeah, got a lot of his assets seized.
But Wu-Tang Clan made a record, and they only printed one copy of it,
and they sold it for a couple of million.
But that's not an NFT, is it?
No, but I'm just saying that out of the very idea of an NFT,
Shkreli and his Wu-Tang album,
at least you could listen to the Wu-Tang album.
Do you reckon he listened to it?
Yeah.
There's no diminishing in quality
when you listen to a CD, is there?
No, was it a CD?
It was a CD album.
Yeah, he should be fine then, you're fine.
But surely once you break that seal,
imagine if it was them going, you fucking dickheads.
50 minutes of them going, Method Man going,
fuck, you fucking idiot.
A fall on his money, a soon pipe.
Do you know what I find that is an interesting metaphor?
Because Martin Shkreli is that farmer bro who everyone hated, right?
Right.
And then we found some new, bigger idiots to hit.
Yeah, exactly.
But he was very much the kind of entry gateway drug into Elon Musk.
Yeah.
And he was a hated guy
and he kind of
reveled in the hatred
that he received
because what he would do
is he would take
the patent for a drug
and jack up the price
and just make loads of money
on other people's misery.
He led into that, right?
And it's the sort of thing
that so many companies
and so many people do,
but they don't generally look for the limelight.
In fact, they want to stay out of the limelight.
And the reason I think that Wu-Tang Clan record and his purchase of it is a perfect metaphor
is because when you think about your greatest music memories, right?
Yeah.
You're going to think about a number of different things,
but you're probably going to think about when you were at a gig with some friends or with your wife,
or you took your tremendously romantic moment
with whoever,
or you've got a record
that everyone was really into
and you loved it.
I can remember when the Strokes record
came out in 2001, right?
Changed the lives,
our music lives,
my and my friends.
We used to,
we couldn't wait to listen to it together
and talk about how much we loved it
and all get our own copy of it, right?
Martin Shkreli can't listen to this with anyone else unless they come to his house. And no one wants to come to it together and talk about how much we loved it and we'll get our own copy of it, right? Martin Shkreli can't listen to this with anyone else
unless they come to his house.
And no one wants to come to his house
because they fucking hate him.
So how's he getting any joy out of it?
And I imagine he probably doesn't know
whether it's good or bad.
Do you know what I mean?
No idea.
No.
No idea.
I think that...
I think it's probably bad.
The guy who's behind it,
or was RZA, right,
who's the guy behind most of the Wu-Tang stuff,
he's like the main guy.
Right.
I don't reckon
you should have sold it to him.
Well, I just said no.
Fuck you, you're not having it.
You don't deserve it.
You don't deserve it.
Yeah, but he's the only person
who wants to buy it.
You know, he'll pay that amount of money.
The tricky thing is
that he probably could have gone
after the biggest hip-hop fan
in the world
but they wouldn't have had
two million dollars.
No, they would have bought
violin records
and their partners would be shouting at them
to get the records out the house.
Oh yeah, you've got money to spend on the record, have you?
But you haven't fixed that thing in the delivery room.
I imagine the biggest hip-hop collector in the world
is probably a 55-year-old white guy
who lives in America somewhere
with a hell of a trainer collection.
Oh, massively.
Massive trainer collection, loads of vinyl.
Sneaky heads are a big deal,
aren't they?
Yes.
There's a lot of stuff going on.
The trade in that,
I mean,
it gives me big Andy Brassel energy.
He loves a trainer,
doesn't he?
My Nike Air Max
or whatever the hell they were,
they're broken
on the side.
Yeah,
but you only adopted the darkness.
Brassel was born with it.
I know, yeah.
Well, I said,
Brassel,
I need some trainers.
What trainers should I get?
And he recommended these
guys
these Nike Air Maxes
they're very comfortable
they're very comfortable
how did you break them
I don't know
I think this is how
I put them on
I need a shoehorn look
I own many
but they're all
in different parts of the house
can I interest you
in a pair of sketches
have you seen the adverts
I've got a built in shoehorn
is that
Jamie Renup
kicking the ball
over the sun
so there's a new advert
where he says
confusingly
he just says
why are you still
using your hands
to put your shoes on
these shoes
have got a built in shoe horn
built in shoe horn
yeah
just use them instead
a lot of
my dream car
the
Toyota Century
it's not an expensive car
these days
like a 90s
Toyota Century
it's got a shoe horn like built ins Toyota Century it's got a shoe horn
like built in
that's it
it's got a built in shoe horn
that's excellent
the Japanese always
take their shoes off
and put them on
aren't they
to get into places
so shoe horns are big
in Japanese shit
get a lot of use
I remember when
we stayed at a hotel once
and we got a free shoe horn
yeah
I saw a man in
Airbnb Sweden about 6 years ago uh the
guy was showing us around his flat that he was renting us and he used like effortlessly used
shoehorn to get shoes back on and i was like that is a money move and then we went home and bought
everyone was on the trip so you basically met a shoehorn influencer yeah yeah pretty much it was
so cool luke he just popped the shoehorn in.
He didn't need to sort of mess around with his, like,
the backs of the trainer.
Was it performative, though?
No, he just did it.
Just, you know.
So what kind of guy was he, this shoehorn wizard?
Just a cool kind of, like, Swedish guy
who just effortlessly put his shoe on.
Was he like a proper, like, multi-millionaire tech bro?
Minimalist house?
It was a nice, clean Swedish house.
It had a little sauna included and stuff, which was pretty cool.
Just knocking about the shoehorn.
That's very nice.
On that note, let's have a break.
We can talk a bit more about Pete's shoehorn collection after this.
All right.
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Rogers.
We're back with a look at Pete Shaw.
And we're, of course, talking battery branches.
It's a Thursday, looky-mo.
Send your shoehorns in. Send your shoe horns in.
Send your shoe horns in.
And we'll start a shoe horn club.
Yeah.
How many brands of shoe horns are there?
We'll do batteries for now.
You go ahead, Peter.
Okie dokie.
We've got one from a man by the name of Chris.
Hello, Luke and Pete.
On a recent holiday to a villa near the amusingly named Peniscola.
Peniscola.
Peniscola.
Peniscola. Yeah. Peniscola Peniscola
Yeah
North of Valencia
I checked the batteries
in the TV remote
and hit the jackpot
with two brands
in the remote
I submit
Teddy and Premier
Super Alkaline
for your consideration
Keeps good work
Teddy seemed like
they would be a new player
Yeah
Don't remember seeing them
but you're the third person
to send those in Chris
Our friend Michael
and Richard
both sent those in
in February.
What was the other one?
Premio?
Premio.
Premio.
Premio Super Alkaline.
Okay.
I'm sorry to say as well Chris
that Dan and Jamie
have both sent in
Premio Super Alkaline
as early as January
of 2022.
So well over a year ago now.
So nice effort.
Yeah.
But I'm afraid
it's no cigar.
Better luck next time, Chris in Barcelona.
Adam!
I've had one previous submission, says Adam,
and I was the second person to submit it,
so hopefully I can go on better with these naughty boys
and they can have a place in the battery daddy.
Just like the previous battery submissions,
these have been found in Sotorius.
Sotorius printers.
I've never heard of them.
Sotorius printers.
Shall I give that a google
see if there's anything
anyway it's
Recyco
so R-E
big C
Y-K-O
so Recyclo
Recyclo
Recyclo
yeah amazing
find that
I mean he's also
sitting on some golden powers
but we're not always
on time with those
but Recyco
are actually
brand new players
congratulations to you well done we've never seen those ones before never actually brand new players congratulations to you Adam
well done we've never seen
those ones before and
they've been submitted in
so congratulations to you
that is a new player in the
battery daddy good stuff
Adam a different Adam says
Tinko ultra heavy duty from
that name I'm more certain
that's been sent in before
this green beauty was plucked
from a wireless mouse at my
place of work easily the best
thing about my full day of
training that day all the the best, gentlemen.
Your friend Adam.
I don't know what bloody size that is.
It looks like a triple A, but even smaller.
Tiny little boy, isn't it?
Yeah, tiny little lad.
It's nowhere near a new player, I'm afraid.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Eight people have sent this in before you, Adam.
I'm stretching all the way back to November of 2017.
Oh, my goodness.
Well done.
So you're way wider than Mark,
but thank you for trying to get involved anyway.
It's much appreciated.
Lovely stuff.
Well,
shall we crack through a couple of emails before we chip off on this show?
Absolutely.
Smashing stuff.
All right.
Chris says,
dear Luke and Pete,
I thought I would throw my hat into the tallest listener competition.
Nice.
Did we even have that?
I can't even remember.
I think we put it out there.
We put it out there.
I am six foot 7.5 inches.
Normally I would mention the 0.5 inches,
but for this I would.
Who can tell that high?
Who can tell if you're looking up at that height?
6 foot 7 and a half.
Right.
So that's good.
I mean, how tall is Rory, Producer Rory?
Producer Rory?
How tall is Producer Rory?
He's not there, is he?
Is he not there?
Right.
He's doing something else.
Yeah.
How tall is he?
I would say 6'4".
He's taller than that.
Really? I'm 6'3". Are you? I think he's 6'6 would say 6'4 he's taller than that really
I'm 6'3
are you
I think he's 6'6
is 6'3 getting shorter
these days
maybe
I'm not a strong catcher
I haven't measured myself
I reckon he's 6'5
I reckon he's 6'6
6'6
yeah
that's like
because Finn's taller than me
right
he's not as tall as Rory
right
so he can't
there's no room to manoeuvre there
what a delicious little picture
that would be
you three
I know it would be good you three. I know,
it would be good.
And you on the end.
Me on the end,
yeah.
Like a little boy.
Me and Vish.
I think that six,
seven and a half
from our friend Chris
is a great opening gambit.
Not bad,
not bad.
He says the plus side
of being so tall is gigs,
the downside is a never ending
tall person joke
from people you've never met before.
Yeah.
Like,
how's the weather up there?
Did your parents put you
in a grow bag when you were a kid?
They really do,
they really do. They really do.
People feel absolutely fine about talking like that
when they wouldn't with wrist, let's say.
Yeah, well, do you know what's...
Some people would.
Do you know what's interesting?
I think it's a bit of a weird equivalence anyway, Peter,
but anyway, I find my direct experience of that
is that if I see someone who's say really tall or
here's a
better example. You know when you see
a relative you haven't seen for ages
and 10
years has passed or whatever
and you know that it's a real
cliche to say oh last time I saw you kind of
thing. But you can't resist it.
Yes right. Okay last time I saw you
what that you... You were tiny
or you were at school
or whatever.
It's a really boring bit of chat
and I hated being on
the receiving end of it
when I was younger.
But now you're older, right?
Yeah.
But do you understand what I mean?
Yeah.
I think you could use that
as a starting point
for your small talk improvement.
What, as in sort of
say to somebody
you were shorter,
younger?
No, first...
But what if they haven't
grown in any way?
What I want you to do is I want you to get into a thought
process where I want you, when you see
someone you haven't seen for a while,
try to alleviate the awkwardness
by thinking in your mind
what happened the last time
I saw that person.
And reference that. And then you're up
and running. Now for me... Give me any person
and I'll tell you what happened last time I saw them.
Well, I think this is very much an entry-level thing.
For me, I would be embarrassed to do that at Small Talk,
because I'm much better than you at Small Talk.
Okay.
But this is a first-portion.
Nice entry-level thing, right?
Okay.
So, okay, so what about the last time...
So say, okay, I want to bring someone in that we both know.
Right.
Right.
Think, so, okay, what about Marcus?
Marcus.
So think in your mind... Yeah. Something that happened the last time you saw Marcus.
Now I'm going to do a kind of role play.
I'm Marcus, I'm walking in.
Are you ready to go?
Here we go, Pete.
Pete, how are you doing?
Marcus, last time I spoke to you, it was on the WhatsApp,
and I was criticising your law and servitude of Jesus Christ.
No, it's not going to work.
First of all, WhatsApp.
It doesn't count.
Secondly, don't be hateful towards someone's religion.
I wasn't.
I was just saying that we didn't need
Scampi, two Scampis on the boat.
Didn't need two Scampis.
You did actually say that, to be fair.
Yeah.
That was good material.
That's why I'm repeating it now.
Let's try someone else.
Okay.
What about the next time you see
someone who's like an ex-colleague
of ours?
What about the next time...
What about the next time
you bump into your
ex-girlfriend Lauren?
Give me five seconds to think about it.
This could be awkward. It's a very difficult situation
because they're an ex-girlfriend.
Last time you saw them, a little bit of common ground, nice bit of entry Give you five seconds to think about it. This could be awkward. It's a very difficult situation because they're an ex-girlfriend. It could be very awkward.
So last time you saw them, a little bit of common ground.
Nice bit of entry level kind of small talk chat.
Hi Pete.
Good to see you. How you doing?
Go.
Last time I saw you.
First of all, say hello.
Oh, sorry.
Hello.
Speak normally and then get into the...
Hello.
Right.
So hi Pete.
How you doing?
We used to be together
if i'm doing this as a self-help film giving you your money back
we used to be together last time sounds like a question last
time so the way it's supposed to go is like this
so conjoined so you're supposed to go like this
how you doing?
it's great to see you
yeah
you look really well
what if it isn't?
you've got a line
that's what small talks about
line
great to see you
you look really well
last time I saw you
do you remember we were in that pub?
yeah
and we had those shots
and I felt terrible the next day
and you're away
okay
don't go
last time
don't go
not say hello
last time I saw you.
We were together.
So I,
so I say to her
about the shots.
If that's what happened.
Right.
Shall I just mention
the shots anyway?
So if I saw,
I've had a shot before.
If I saw Lauren,
who I also know,
I would probably say,
do you know what I'd say?
Because I was going to bring this
into the second phase,
but you're not quite there yet.
I was going to say, last time I probably, but you're not quite there yet. I was going to say,
last time I probably saw you, Lauren,
it's probably at some event in the pub
and we're probably getting pissed and
that doesn't happen anymore. Probably. That's your
memory. Probably. Yeah.
And that doesn't happen anymore. And then I would say, do you know what I'd
say? It's vaguer than mine. Do you know what I'd say? Because I take an interest in
other people, do you know what I'd say? Right. I see you living
in the Caribbean now. It looks fucking great. How's that working
out for you? Yeah. And she'd be like she'd be like oh brilliant yeah you're taking an interest
in me yeah and i'm happy to have a chat about it so you've got to want to take an interest in other
people is what i'm saying all right so what's the problem yeah i'm clearly too egotistical to do
that that's why i find small talk uh do you reckon that's what it is probably i can only imagine
it's i think you're just a little bit lacking of confidence could you could you spend a lot of time
looking at people's stories on Instagram?
Oh, yeah, that's a good point, actually, yeah.
You could use that, couldn't you?
The problem is, though, everyone's seen those,
so the material's already been used.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, but I think you're overthinking that.
I think if you can drop, a little tip for this,
I don't mean this in a psycho way,
if you can drop one piece of information
into people
that you've learnt about them,
it makes them think
that you're really
taking an interest
in their life.
All right,
let's have a look then.
All right,
let's find...
Do you know what also is great?
Remember the name
of people's kids.
Yeah,
that's a big one,
yeah.
But what if you get it wrong?
High stakes,
isn't it?
It is high stakes.
It's green light means
go ahead and not mention it.
Do you know what I also
sometimes say
I say
how's your little boy
and they've got a kid
but I just take a 50-50 punt
I'm a gambler
I'm one of life's gamblers
I'm thinking like
you're
okay
okay so who is it
it's Lauren
okay so we did Lauren again
okay so I walk up to you
I see Lauren on the street
bump into her
it's not weird
because there's been a lot of water
under the bridge
you're both adults
hi Pete how you doing good to see you oh your street. Bump into her. It's not weird because there's been a lot of water under the bridge. You're both adults.
Hi Pete.
How you doing?
Good to see you.
Oh, your kid likes swings,
doesn't she?
Perfect.
Thank you. You sound like a paedophile.
That's my default setting.
That's my baseline.
You've not earned the right to mention
you've not earned
the right to mention
the kids
you've got to say hello first
yeah but I know
it'll be
it'll be in my head
so it's
it's hanging over my head
that I've not said it
what about your next
one over that you like
alright
the guy who gives you rum
okay
what do you say
when you walk up to him
oh hello Stu
you've got
terrible
what's the thing
that you piss out
stones kidney stones you've got terrible... What's the thing that you piss out?
Stones.
Kidney stones.
You've got a five centimetre kidney stone.
Three centimetre?
Five seems too big.
Have a good weekend, everyone.
See you on Monday.
I hear you were screaming in the surgery.
So they had to take you to hospital.
It's really weird.
To be fair, I bought him some ramen.
That's salty, isn't it?
That's going to make it worse.
I wish I'd never embarked on this.
This has been
The Look at Pete Show.
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