The Luke and Pete Show - Ripped divorcees in leather... in your area (workplace)

Episode Date: December 18, 2023

Future divorcees Pete and Luke take cringe culture to task, and Pete's got a rather unwelcome update on the imported Japanese car front (it's arriving at a most unfortunate time and yes, he's absolutely fine with that.)Want to get in touch with the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.This Thursday - the first of our two Luke and Pete Show Christmas shows! Strap yourselves in... with a string of tinsel.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Subscribe to our YouTube HERE.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands. Now playing.

I am rectangular. I feel it in my bones. I'm with Luke Moore on the show. It's the Luke and Pete show. Lukey, Lukey, Lukey. What a vibe. What a vibe. Basically, there's a song that has been going around the...

One of my favourite kind of threads of Instagram and TikTok when I do indulge is the cringe channels, the cringe accounts where they find people doing embarrassing stuff. And they've taken this older gentleman to their bosom, these cringe accounts. It's a man who, we spoke about this before, when you're over 30 and you try anything new, that is ripe for mockery. And this man's probably cracking on for 50, and he's dyed his hair green, and he's an entrepreneur in America, and he's written some very middle-of-the-road rock music

about being shapes, being rectangular. Yeah, and he seems like a pretty affable chap, a pretty nice lad, but he seems also to have not really many musical bones in his body. But he's been kind of like, first he was a cringe and a figure of fun, and now he's kind of being embraced by the young people, and now he's become a bit of a hero. And they're taking advantage a little bit,

and he's been taken advantage of. This isn't your review of the charlatans gig we went to, is it? Honestly, his music is absolute trash. But he seems to only have one song where he'll sort of drive around America feeling himself singing a song about being rectangular. And I'm a big fan. I hear his voice in my head more than I've heard any of the hit parade this year. What do you think his origin story is?

Divorce. Always. I mean, that goes without saying. That's like the prime mover straight away. It's always divorce from a woman, divorce from reality, divorce from the kids. It's just any another reason. I think it's kind of interesting, that vibe, that divorce men go through,

because they obviously have a situation where they go, all right, this is terrible. Clean slate. Yeah, the first of all, they go, this is terrible. Whether they admit that to themselves or not, they probably think, oh, this is terrible. And then they go, what? Hang on, no, this is an opportunity.

Yeah, exactly. I can do whatever I want. But they're so far adrift from the realities of that that it just becomes an absolute Catherine wheel that's left a fence. Yeah, I would say the divorced ones who have shacked up with their younger, I don't know, like assistants,

which is a story that obviously gets told again and again. That's how we met. That's how me and you met. I was working as your assistant. And they don't generally do that simply because they have a young voice in their life to sort of go, don't do that. But I think people who don't have that and just get a straight divorce with no commitments or obligations,

they're free. They've just got a lot of free time. They've got to fill with something. Also, there is a danger, though, if they shack up instantly with a younger partner. That younger partner then starts to mould them. Right, okay. Yeah, I've seen that a few times as well.

I've got your gym membership. I've got you a, I've got rid of all your Patagonia stuff and I've got you some, some Balenciaga and some, isn't that the same stuff, but more expensive? Probably. I don't know what I'm talking about.

But I told you that there was, when I worked at one of the country's foremost broadcasters, not on air, obviously, I, I had, there was a gym at the office there and we were seconded off to a different office where there was hardly anyone working there. I don't think I've told this story before,

but it was basically- They've got so many offices in that place. Exactly. But it was basically, Pete, when video on demand rolled out. So now everyone's used to iPlayer and fucking All4 and all this stuff. This was like, they knew this was coming, but they didn't know when,

so they hired all these people and put them in this office down the road, and I was one of them. And there was no one in that office apart from us, but there was a gym. And there was a few other companies dotted around who also used that gym. Anyway, there was a fucking guy there who was the best, without question, best midlife crisis ever, right? For loads of different reasons. One, like he genuinely went from quite a fat lump

to being absolutely ripped. To be fair to him, he actually did that. He was about 50, but the transformation was unbelievable, right? He told me, because he would never stop talking in the change room he told me that he'd broken out of his wife and all this other stuff so i i wasn't i wasn't i wasn't labeling him with this he was basically labeling himself with this yeah um and so he got ripped and fair enough you know then he got a motorbike right yes which was the loudest fucking motorbike you've ever heard your life you could hear it like a mile away. Why are they so loud? Yeah. Pulled up and he started wearing leather trousers.

And the first thing he said to me about the leather trousers, he completely volunteered this information, was, I know what you're thinking, but the chicks absolutely love it. And he said chicks. He said chicks. Where's he seeing these chicks? Where's he meeting these chicks?

And that's the thing for me. He's like, nowadays nowadays the midlife crisis person has to meet people online. So leather trousers will be a real shock. Yeah, but this was only like 2011. It wasn't like online. Oh, right, okay. I'm just thinking back then, there might be more chicks out there. But what chicks is he meeting? Chicks in the wild. What's his life?

That was also, so there would have been before, I guess that would have been before dating apps, so I'll take your point. That was also the office I saw a duck do stand-up comedy, as I told you about before, which is like, that'll never leave me. Still the best routine I've ever seen, outside of Stuart Lee and Wildfellas. But it was an amazing place. That was also the place where, in that self-same gym, this is without taking too much of a turn to the dark side,

where someone died in the gym when I was in there. That's right, yes. Yes, it was full of incident. Is that the mark of a good gym or a bad gym? Yeah, it's very difficult to know. I don't think it'd be on many people's list. I think it depends on very much what the title of the gym was. If it was No Limits, bad gym.

But if it was just Gold's Gym, I think you're absolutely fine. No, was no limits, bad gym. Yeah. If it was, you know, just, you know, gold's gym, I think you're absolutely fine. No, I don't. You just work too hard. He shouldn't have been there. The guy was like sneaking in

after people told him not to come in anymore. Oh, what? He was just too, right. Because he had the health issues, yeah. Right, maybe he'd passed out before.

There was also a woman in the canteen who like couldn't cook. Right. So like the food was like an absolute lottery. It became like a joke just to go down and see what was happening. I went down there once and she had burnt to a crisp

a panini in front of about 70 people. Just one? I guess it's just... Take that one out, Jesus. I'll get this one done. I'll get this one done. Do them all at the same time let them absorb some of the heat

to make it slower I also had a member of staff there I'm not going to name them because I've actually gone on to have quite a good career in music so I don't want to tell you who they are but he did absolutely no work

and I was responsible for his one-to-ones. And this is going to sound mental, but I asked him what work he'd done. He had done nothing. And then I walked past his desk one morning, about 11, and he was asleep, right? At his desk. So I had to say to him.

No siesta. I had to say to him. Modern. How very modern. My approach was that like, this is making me look bad. Stop it. But he also.

I don't fundamentally care, but you're making me look bad. Yeah, it was. I didn't really care, but I didn't want, I was just getting flack for it. Anyway, he left. So it was a crazy place.

It was crazy. Anyway, can I just tell you, before we move on, can I just tell you one of the funniest work stories that ever happened to me that I've completely forgot to tell you. And it came to me a week or so ago because I was in the Sainsbury's and someone came over the PA thing and messed it up. And it just made me laugh.

I just said something stupid. And it reminded me of this time when I worked at Safeway. I told you I worked at Safeway, right? So this is like in the late 90s. And we were just Saturday boys. And so we were, yeah, we just didn't really care that much. Anyway, so we're out in the warehouse. And what happened?

Have you ever worked at a supermarket? I've worked in a warehouse at a supermarket, yeah. At Forest Supermarket. So you know, they have warehouse at a supermarket, yeah. At a forest supermarket. So you know, they have like a phone system, which is like an actual phone. You pick it up, press the star button, and it did the tannoy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's basically what happens, right? So for those people who listen who haven't worked at a supermarket, it's like a phone on the wall, like an old-fashioned phone. You picked it up, pressed the star button in this case. I mean, you could probably press another button

or whatever. And it would go ding, ding, and then the PA would go all around the shop. And this shop was massive. It was like a 35-aisle supermarket, right? It was massive. And we were out in the warehouse, me and this guy called Stuart I used to work with. And there was another guy there called Andy, this old Scottish guy,

who did the trolleys, right? So sometimes he would take the trolleys back round through the warehouse, through the shop, and then into the car park so people could use them again. He was a really good lad. He was just older, and that was like his lot in life, and he was farming there. But he was quite a funny bloke. Anyway, we got really bored on this Saturday once.

So we were basically, the idea we had was to say to Andy, this guy, ask him a question, and then Stuart, with the phone behind him, would take the phone off the hook, press the star button, and Andy would say something like random, and it would go around the shop, right?

So we had this idea that, so we set it up, so that Stuart had the phone ready, and I said to Andy, Andy, what's your favourite food? Right? Expecting him to say like,

like fucking pie and chips or whatever. So it would come over, ding, ding, pie and chips. Yeah, it'd be funny, right? But the problem was, right, when we did it, he's obviously a bit of a character. I said to him, Andy, what's your favourite food? And he just went, a great big juicy fanny.

Ha ha ha! Yes! And it rang around the store right fucking hell we absolutely shit ourselves right hung the phone up legged it to the little work staff canteen thing pretended we were on break so it couldn't have been us and we could just see the store manager like stomping around trying to find out who did it but it was andy voice, so I felt bad about it because it was Andy, obviously. Yeah, but you can't blame... Andy could just flap out of the way and say, it's another Scottish person. I mean, would that be out of character for Andy

to suddenly just go... He wasn't... Listen, I don't want to be rude about the guy. He was lovely. He was not trusted in the install PA system. So his voice should not have been on that. Anyway, so the long story short is that

I might have told a British version of this thing before but that was I forgot about that incident entirely that was like the third incident

where it meant that I actually then got moved onto car park right you can shout as loud as you want out there

I negotiated about three months to get a radio in there right and they gave me one eventually. Right. A little clock radio. When I used to work in Tesco order picking in a refrigerated factory,

just getting all the order picking, getting all of the stock from the main sort of like distribution center and putting it in cages. And then it goes on the lorry and they get sent to the shops. They had a strong rule that you could not have headphones in. Back then,

headphones, because they just had a lot of machinery, a lot of forklift trucks floating around. Yeah, it was just like a big rule on that. But, coupled with the fact that they insist on playing fucking Leicester Sound 24-7. So it's just like fucking Gabrielle. Hang on a minute.

So much Gabrielle. Hang on a minute. What, Out of Reach? The cover of Dionne Warwick's Walk On By? Dreams? There's three great tunes there. Dreams was good. The Dionne Warwick one was good.

The other one wasn't so good. I can't... Out of reach. Yeah, that's it. Lovely. It's an easy listening classic. Awful. Awful.

Yeah, but if you hear it like once an hour, like I don't know what was happening at Leicester Sound. I don't know who owned it. Was it the Galaxy Network? Pete, that was that commercial radio era where they had data that said that people only listened for like 45 minutes at a time, right? Yeah, so make it

really unlistenable to anyone who listens over that. Really build your hours, dickheads. Good God. Thick. What,

did you get into any scrapes? No, not really. Well, I just sort of, I just had a big hat. I just wore a big, not Stetson or anything,

but like a big dot over my head because it was cold, you know, it was cold. And then I a big, not Stetson or anything, but like a big dot over my head because it was cold, you know, it was cold. And then I had, basically, like I had a mini MP3 CD player.

So it was like a CD. You know the small CDs that you could sometimes get? You sometimes get them on like, like bands would release small ones or business card size CDs. And some CDs would, CD trays would play them.

But this was a spindle CD MP3 player that could hold god, I think it held about 250 megabytes which was a good amount of MP3s back in the day. Great to see you into tech like back then even. Yeah, well How did you get hold of that? I would position it on yeah, it was really weird. I sort of got it on eBay. It wasn't, I don't think

it was ever released in this country at that time but I popped it on my head underneath the hat, I don't think it was ever released in this country at that time. But I popped it on my head, underneath the hat, and I was just enjoying lagwagon. So they didn't know you had headphones on? But you had to move your head very deliberately like this, like you were balancing some kind of stuff on your head. I still look back at that time and I am very confident. It's when I first saw like a tray of potatoes saying 25 kilograms. And I remember it would tell you how heavy it was so you wouldn't fuck your back up.

And I remember sort of lifting 25 kilograms onto a pallet and thinking, right, I'm going to remember how heavy 25 kilograms is. And I still do. I'm pretty good at measuring what 25 kilograms is even to this very day. It's educational. How difficult was the 25 kilograms at the time? Kind of moderate? It's pretty heavy.

It's pretty fucking heavy. I was no muscle man. That's your par, though. That's pretty good, though. Yeah. That's pretty bad. But, yeah, a fun time was had by all. The permanent staff resented the relief staff.

Always. Always away. And, yeah. I got paired up with. Always. Which we were. Always away. Yeah. I got paired up with a guy at the Office of National Statistics once who was exactly like that. And everyone who worked there with me called him competitive dad. But I was his, like, go-to guy. Right.

He was an absolute fucking wanker. An absolute wanker. He was a list of people that um I've worked with who have been the worst yeah he's up there he's in the top three with Mike Parry

and one other probably we're all hugging yeah Mike Parry was the worst guy like at Talk Sport everyone was so nice um

and Mike Parry was just a fucking knob what like why are um really untalented men frequently blowhards? Do you know what? It's a good question.

Even Mike Graham, who's gone off the reservation entirely now. Is he the one who wears dark glasses inside? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Going back a number of years. I mean, I'm not fucking commenting on his output. Fine, people can make their own decisions. But as a person, he was actually nice. He was fine. Par can make their own decisions. But as a person, he was actually nice. So he was fine.

Parry was a complete prick. Like, to the point of where you wouldn't even be able to understand how anyone could get to that stage of being such a prick.

He wouldn't even look you in the eye and stuff. Like, I'd be doing the show before his show, which on paper, my show is a fucking higher profile show, right?

I'm doing seven till ten, right? He's on overnight, Tony. Yeah, he's doing overnight. I'm going to have to hand over to him and he won't even look me in the eye or acknowledge me when I'm a fucking hand and over. That's the level of unprofessionalism. Probably off his head on cinnamon.

Yeah, he probably, he's never been the same since that cinnamon. No. Anyway, I know it is part of my personal brand to slag people off publicly. So there you go. There's a bit of that. Pete, before we go for a break break we're building up to christmas now i just want to let people know that um that we're going to do a couple of christmas apps the next one you hear will be a

christmas episode and the one after that is coming out on christmas day we'll do christmas emails christmas traditions you guys have sent in it'll be lots of fun um as a part of a build-up episode to christmas peter how's your christmas um plans how are they going how's the shopping going i'm not bought a single present the case that's why i asked the question i'm a busy man uh yeah i've not bought a single thing it's uh it's it's it's a nightmare um that will i've not even got my tree up yet that's how bad that is like this is we're recording this the day before Monday, and we are treeless at this moment in time.

So, terrible. Are you going to bother? Yeah, I think we will. I think we'll have to. I just want to see Sammy pull it down. Where are you going to get a tree from? Oh, we've got one upstairs. It's a plastic monstrosity.

So, on that note, by the way, you know that I told you that I like to defenestrate the Christmas tree every year. Can't do that this year because we bought a live one. Have you seen that? What do you mean?

So it just grows and grows and grows? So you take it back out into the garden after Christmas and repot it and it grows and you take it again. It's basically much better for the environment. I'm trying to sell it into you we're doing it

because my wife decided we're doing it this just sounds like a lot of admin the roots are I mean the shuley likes do you have to like

lop off roots to fit it back in when you sort of rewild it to get it back in a pot do you have to like you have to like lop off bits of the roots?

I don't really know. Look at my face, do you think I know the answer to that? Just a big... How do you want to lug it into the garden again? Well, yeah,

I'm just sort of, it's more, the lugging in the garden is not bad, but it's just the getting it out again when the ground's frozen in December the next year.

I'm not saying it's not an excellent idea, it's very interesting. The ground doesn't freeze very often in West Norwood, mate. It does around here. The foxes have pulled up my 12-volt lights, and I've tried to fix them,

but the ground's too cold to put them back in there. Really? It's like 10 degrees today. Oh, yeah, it's fine today, but... All right, last week. But, yeah, still. So the live Christmas tree is now like... it's like, so I personally much prefer a real Christmas tree, right? Hmm.

There's pros and cons to the live one. The pros are that it's a different environment. It's obviously cheaper because you can pay 60 quid a tree in London and we paid 40 for this one

and it'll last us for years. Right. There's pros to it. And it's smaller so it's all more manageable. Yeah. The cons are that you can't check out the

window which is disappointing um oh another pro is that because it's live it doesn't drop all its needles everywhere right that's cool that's a pro you don't have to

cover it in hairspray like a lot of people is that what people do is that the hack that's what that's what they used to do back in the 80s i don't recall but i think um that's that

was the answer to everything in the 80s wasn't it put hairspray on it yeah you still put hairspray on now don't you? Yeah, yeah. There's nothing that can turn this awful quiff I've got going on.

What brand do you use? It's bright yellow. I think it's like glue. I think it's called glue. Get glued or something. Gorilla glue. Get stuck. Gorilla glue, yeah.

Get stuck. I can't abide the smell of hairspray and I'll tell you why because I've got a younger sister who was a reasonably successful

dancer and when she was she's five years younger than me when she's doing shows I imagine she'll yeah mate because she

because I wasn't really old enough to be left on my own when my sister first started dancing I'd be like ten or whatever I used to go and sit and

wait in the fucking waiting room and all I could smell was hairspray and all this I mean it was, look she was very talented I'm very proud of her and all the rest of it but it was fucking boring for like a 12 year old boy You needed a game boy or something I know, I did didn't I

Is this why you talk to everybody when they don't want to be talked to in shops? Yeah, that's why. Hi, how you doing? What's going on? Leave the vape shop lady alone. That's not strictly true. I don't strictly do that.

I think you're misconstruing me being comfortable talking to other people as me being this kind of annoying bloke who comes around asking everyone for 50p on the high street, which I don't do. That's a homeless man. Yeah. It's not annoying. I on the high street, which I don't do. That's a homeless man. It's not annoying.

I look like I do, but I don't. I had an excellent normal interaction with someone yesterday when I was taking my son out for a walk. It went well. I was very pleased with it. I literally left the conversation

thinking that was some of my best work. Yeah. I've not, I mean, we'll get on yours, but I've not had a good one since I told a man I was going to chop my own balls off

around Sammy getting his removed. Yeah. I can see how that, I can see how in your mind that joke would have worked because you, you'd, Oh,

it went well. It went well. But I do think you're going to pick your, pick your targets. Yeah, you'd better read a room. That's the crucial part of it. That is, isn't it? Yeah.

So what happened? What did you... I saw another dad whose son was a bit older. Oi, oi! Look who's also had sex! Thumbs up! Exactly, yeah. That's what I said.

And got the old chap out. Fertile? Still works. Did he do the fertile man's handshake? No, he didn't shake hands. Because that's not I said and got the old chap out still works still works did you do the fertile man's handshake no I didn't shake hands because that's not appropriate Pete

there you go so you know what you're doing there you meet someone on the street don't shake their hand do you fine that's a bit weird

isn't it I just said oh and this kid this kid was having a little moan and then when he saw me and my son he stopped

and I said oh I normally have the other effect opposite effect on children. And he's like chuckled away. He's like, oh yeah, how's yours? How you doing? Where do you live? You say that without a kid with you and you're a problem. Yeah, that's true. That is true.

And then we had a little chat about where we lived and got into a little three or four minute conversation. Anyway, I said, look, I better crack on. And he was like, yeah, no, same. See you later. Have a good day. And that was yesterday morning. Yeah. You know what? Those kind of interactions can really set you up for not just the day, the weekend. crack on and he was like yeah no same see you later have a good day and that was yesterday morning yeah you know what those kind of

interactions can really set you up for not just the day the weekend I think the issue comes though

so I now have the downside to that I am now societally expected to commit that man's face and voice

to memory because if I ever see him again I've got to acknowledge him in a way that is commensurate with the interaction that's happened before. So I can't be too over-familiar and I can't ignore him. If I blank him, that's going to look bad.

You know, given that he only lives like a road away. So I've set myself up for a failure in the future, to be honest though. It's more admin. So I can totally see how you feel like you're better off out of it. I know more. I just have a real issue with remembering people. I know more Border Terriers names than I know humans names in the town,

if that makes sense. That does make sense. Rolf. Jacob, I think, one of the other ones. Rolf. There's a few, but yeah, it is, because it sounds like Rolf. Yeah, it does. It's a good name.

Have we taken a break? Yeah, let's do it. No, we haven't taken one. Let's do it now. All right, see you later. Hi, it's Fido. Start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data

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How are you doing? It's Luke and Pete Shaw. It is a Monday, so we're not doing Battery Vans. No. That's not what we do. You got a list of things that we're not doing? No. A little bit of an update, Luke, about my... i'll do this in the second half because uh you know sarah's busy she she won't listen this far

um car from japan oh yeah uh it's heading people just give people an update very quickly what's happening uh i'm importing a uh toyota century massive uh yakuza rolls royce uh kind of um kind of uh drivers not driver car, what do you call it? Like a limousine sort of thing. I thought it was quite small, the car. It's the size of my car now. But it's like... I think they call it a limousine.

It's like a... It's a posh car, but it's only a couple of grand because it's old. And so I was like, right, let's have a bit of that. Let's have a bang on that. Nothing bad can come of this. Nothing bad. Nothing bad can come of this. And last time we spoke about it was in the sewers canal right it was in the sewers canal uh then it's um headed towards um kind of italy and it was off the off the coast of spain um it's heading towards belgium and i just got an email uh yesterday uh day before um saying uh peter your your car is about to arrive in Southampton.

Can you send the bill of lading to us? And it's arriving on the 24th of December. Santa. Santa's driving it, baby. Santa's fucking driving it. Shit, man. It is literally the last thing I fucking need, Luke. What recalls do you have?

I'm going to push it in the sea and say no more of it. I'm going to ask them to just push it in the sea and I'll say no more about it. I don't think you can do that. I don't think I can. How long can they keep it there before you have to go and collect it? I think seven days free and then every day is 20 quid. So it's just going to be one of those things, isn't it, Luke?

It's just going to be one of those things that makes my liver hurt. The Luke and Pete Show community should do a sweepstake on how much it ends up costing you, because you will not be picking it up before the end of January, I'm telling you. I can't pick it up. It's not MOT. A bigger boy has to do it.

Oh, you can't drive it. You have to arrange for someone to pick it up. I have to arrange for someone to pick it up, yeah. They've got to be delivered to an MOT centre. And what if it fails? I'm fucked. The parts literally can't be bought in this country you talked about what have i done you're talking about this like this has been bestowed upon you this all of this was your idea yeah it's

like i'm treating it like it's been bequeathed upon me but uh yeah absolute nightmare so if something goes wrong you can't fix it you can but you've got to use like lexus parts they're mainly just lexus parts but it's just it's just having, but you've got to use like Lexus parts. They're mainly just Lexus parts, but it's just having someone who knows their shit to be able to do it. There's a Toyota Century Owners group on Facebook which is full of absolute divorcees. I bet you open that group up on Facebook

and you can smell the BO. I don't think it's BO. It'd be like Aramis and stuff. It'd be like high karate. Brute acatonic. Yes, exactly. It would be like a smell advertised by Kevin Keegan in the 70s. It's very much a load of men just selling bits of their Toyota Century

that they've sort of ripped out. But one man is literally selling a broken bumper. And I was like, he said, somebody asked, like, where are you? He said, I'm in Leon C. I was like, well, this is ideal. This man's in Leon C. He must know where to get his Toyota Century fixed. So I replied on his little thing.

And he's really, I've looked at his profile. He's really fucking proud about having this fucking car in Leon C, right? And so I'm like, all alright, mate, I've got one arriving. Do you know who the best person to go to, garage-wise, around here? He's completely fucking blank, me the cunt. Yeah, because now his USP's gone. Exactly!

Exactly! There's a young buck on the scene. Absolute peace. Unbelievable. I've just looked at a picture of the one you're getting. It looks fucking brilliant. It is brilliant. That's more my style, isn't it? A bit quirky, a bit broken because nothing works. The thing is, don't take this the wrong way.

Dangerous. No ISOFIX. I can't see you driving one of these. I think it's too much car for you. I think the car's going to end up driving you. Apparently, it's not that great to drive anywhere because it's built for people to drive anywhere because it's basically built for basically people who are driving other people.

So everything good is in the back. Will the good news never end? Will the good news never end? Oi, you can't buy parts for it. It's cost to be a grand to get it shipped. It's old, but at least it's shit to drive. It's all I deserve, Luke. It's all I deserve, Luke. It's all I deserve.

There is a deeply psychological issue with why this is happening. The thing is, the worst thing about this, underpinning all this, I want to have this opinion because practically this is a disaster for you and for anyone.

But I look at that photo of that car and I go, oh, that is good. That is a nice car. It's got the little wing mirrors on the bonnet. That's what you need, isn't it? It's nice. There's a massive part of me that says, I'd love to put that outside my house,

walk out my house, get into it while there's other people looking at me. Smashing. Doesn't have reversing light. Doesn't have reversing beepers. Smashing someone in the drive off. Smashing the shoe next door. smashing doesn't have reversing light doesn't have reversing beepers just all the all the all the vaguely attractive mums in the street looking at me and i'm just storing it all the way up the road i don't think it's really an essex car to be honest no i don't think that's going to impress

i don't think anyone next to their big fucking 70 grand ranger over is really going to bat an eye sunset and vine are going to see that and start trying to do a doc about you. They're going to try and do like a fly on the wall reality. You're going to be like Maureen in driving school. Did you see? There was a clip and we'll wrap up the show. No time for emails. But there was a clip of

Maureen driving school on somebody put on like Instagram or TikTok or something quite recently. And she was fucking dangerous. She was an absolute menace. Like, I know they were joking around. She was, you fucking stupid woman. Like, her very aggressive, angry husband.

You bloody idiot. Yeah. Like, she was just on motorways, just going into other people's lanes, like an absolute maniac. Oh, yeah. It was so dangerous, Luke. In a shit car.

They'd be dead. They'd be dead instantly. They'd be dead. The show came out, what, in the late 90s, right? And she then kind of... I mean, actually, she's way ahead of her time because she then kind of dovetailed that into a career doing a bit of acting. Right. And then she put a single out.

Right. Very 90s. Didn't make the top 40. Oh no, not even for a comedy single. It was a cover of Madness driving in my car, obviously. But I get the feeling now, and I haven't seen it, but I get the feeling now that when you look back on it, it might be quite problematic. And there was a story.

He was a very aggressive man. Like, I mean, I'm sure there's warmth there, but I don't think you can really get away with talking to your loved ones like that. No. There was a story about her doing the music video for that single

where she was obviously, wanted to be in her car. But she was so shit at driving that they had to put it on the back of a flatbed truck and just stage the whole thing. Anyway, if you can't end an episode in 2023 moving into 2024 about Maureen from driving school, what can you do? I cannot wait for the car to arrive. I think you should make a family Christmas trip on Christmas Day.

Yeah. To go and look at it just through the chain link fence. In Southampton dock. Yeah. Lovely. Lovely. A bit of a Christmas to remember that.

Come on. Are you not going on a pause with the Christmas? Help us out. I won't. Well, I will be going down that way. I won't be anywhere near Southampton, sadly. Not sadly for me

sadly for you oh dear never mind alright then let's get out of here we've been Luke and Pete if you want to get to the show

hellokanukeandpeetshow.com is the way to do it we've got some special Christmas episodes coming at you we're going to be broadcasting on

Blumman Christmas Day which is very exciting it's pre-rec let's be honest it's pre-rec it's pre-rec yeah I'm going to be I'm going to be broadcasting on Christmas day which is very exciting it's pre-rec let's be honest it's pre-rec I'm going to be trying to import a Toyota Century farewell The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network. Go back to school with Rogers

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