The Luke and Pete Show - Roman sex toys
Episode Date: February 23, 2023Archaeologists have dug up a 2,000-year-old Roman sex toy - those naughty Romans! On today’s episode, we have a plausible theory about who it belonged to.Additionally, Pete’s been given access to ...a puppy! He’s also been given access to a heart monitor and – amazingly – he starts to take it apart live on the show. It wasn’t worth it for the batteries he found inside…Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Fucking hell, who's been sat in this chair?
Yeah, deaf.
Fucking headphones are so loud.
Deaf.
Dan Walker did a Paul Ansell's TV interview
in the Nicola Bulley case,
and now he's been knocked off his bike.
You're being serious.
People are linking that shit, are they?
Oh, they've gone mental.
They've gone even more mental.
It's the world for you these days, isn't it, Peter?
It's good stuff, isn't it?
It is good stuff.
I like it.
I like it.
All right, so should we start off with the fact
that Nelson the Seal, who we discussed on Monday's show,
has died after the British divers Marine Life Rescue
shot the animal with a tranquiliser gun
in an attempted rescue.
Killed him.
Would it be fair to say that not intervening there
would have been the best thing in this situation?
How strong is that tranquiliser?
It'll be fine.
It'll be fine.
Big lad, won't he?
Probably take it.
How do you know he's not still tranquilised?
What's your cut off?
Yeah, give him to...
You've brought the tranquiliser blunderbuss.
Don't laugh at a dead seal.
I will?
No, you shouldn't.
I will?
I'll laugh.
That's the only aquatic mammal.
Are they mammals?
Yeah, they must be.
They don't lay eggs, do they?
Imagine a seal laying an egg.
It's the only aquatic mammal you know.
I think they're disgusting.
They're protected...
Smell of fish.
They're protected under the
under the
environmental health act. Your face has gone funny.
Environmental health act. You can't even
criticise a seal. Yeah. Because
otherwise the pen pushers
down at Environmental City Hall
they'll have your badge and gun mate.
The seal. Well seal.
What must people think if they're listening to this
episode for the first time?
This is the very first show.
I think they probably think
that we are guys
who are obsessed with seals
and aquatic friends.
We're never going to survive
unless...
It's the Luke Beecher.
Hi, Peter Dawson.
John Bell, Luke Moore.
Hello. Got a bead on., joined by Luke Moore. Hello.
Got a bead on.
Did the, um...
Got a bead on.
But you had your armpit sweat...
It's a long time ago.
It's a long time ago.
It wears off.
Yeah, they come back.
They can't be denied mine.
Unlike the...
Like Jason Voorhees
in front of the station.
Absolute loser seal
that just lost its life
after a bit of
just dropping a quick soma
and now he can't...
So you basically
just tranquilised your sweat glands under your arms
and now they've come around.
Yeah, exactly.
So I want to talk about your health generally, if you don't mind.
Okay.
But let's start off by talking about the fact that you've got a bead on.
Got a bead on.
You rode a bike to...
I got on a line bike.
I rode all the way to Holloway.
Son's battery.
There's no battery on it, but they still let me on there,
which is actually quite refreshing because some of the bikes don't let you on there if there's no battery on it but they still let me on there which is actually quite
refreshing because some of the bikes don't let you on there if there's no battery running which
is just stupid just let me ride let me ride analog baby i can't remember 70s no you don't
i cannot remember 70s night in the 90s yeah i cannot tell you how that was just the 90s wasn't
it i cannot tell you how much I'm into line bikes yeah
you're a big
line boy
I'm already a
prime member
I don't understand
why you
line prime
more on that
next week
£8 a month
you got a
line from your
house in
south west
London
and you
line biked
all the way
up to
Russell Square
it's SE27
right
okay
south east
really
it is
what did I say
south east
right
and I actually
rode to
Warren Street
Warren Street.
Warren Street.
Which is a particular point. Why stop there?
Particular point in geography.
Why not come all the way to Highbury?
Our international listeners won't know about.
Well, I'll tell you why, actually.
You want to know why?
I'll tell you why.
Why don't I?
I probably ride line bike.
Hard.
Put it away wet.
I ride dirty.
I ride dirty, baby.
I probably ride a line bike on average.
Yeah.
As in separate journeys.
Right.
15 times a week.
Too much citrus.
It is, actually.
Too much.
You won't catch me with scurvy, baby.
And the reason I rode from home to Warren Street today
is because on my journey in from South London
up to North London, where the studio is,
there are several opportunities to get off
and get on another form of transport.
Yes.
I need the tube.
Yeah.
Right. You just wheeling on straight past them baby
Brixton
went past it today
beautiful
Victoria line
you would have been
up to Highbury in seconds
it's actually 19 minutes
and it's where
everyone gets on
it's an artery
yeah
Vauxhall
again
not really that much
further north
Victoria
too busy for me
thank you very much
on a Monday morning
yeah you don't need that.
Warren Street,
I could have pushed
on the other way
through to Highbury,
but I thought Warren Street,
it's north of Oxford Circus,
which is normally
where everything goes on,
so I'd be fine,
and I was actually fine
strapping a tube
straight up.
Nice.
It's only four minutes
from Warren Street.
Okay, I'll allow it.
Nice little breather.
Guess what I did
when I got out of Highbury
and Islington Station?
Stick, Beck.
Got on a line bike, baby.
Rode to the office.
Just ride it down the tracks.
Just a little breather.
Ride it down the tracks
of the tube.
Go again.
Yeah, I should have.
Like it was some kind of
post-apocalyptic video game
on the Amiga.
Yeah, post those,
you know,
postal tubes,
what they're called.
You know,
those little kind of
train systems
that the postmen
and postwomen use.
What's happening?
In the 70s, I think,
there was an underground...
Pete Rory's brought me a cup of tea.
Have you brought Pete a cup of tea, Rory?
Can I have one of those drinks that shall not be mentioned
that I left out there?
It's out there.
There you go.
Could you not...
There's an underground postal train system.
Thank you.
Postal train system that is delicious.
Sorry, not delicious.
That's just your mind making you speak
that is delicious
you already gave me a drink
and I said delicious
oh dear
that's so good
that is so good
oh fuck
so there's an underground
postal system
on the train
there's an underground
postal system
but you could have
fucking popped a wheelie down
yeah
I love
let me tell you about
a limelight bike encounter
I had at the weekend very quickly well do you want my quick one on the way down the Yeah. I love it. Let me tell you about a limerick bike encounter I had at the weekend.
Okay.
Very quickly.
Well, do you want my quick one on the way down to Holloway?
You go for it.
A man stops me.
He goes, hey, brother.
I went, oh, we've got Holloway in.
Oh, shit, yeah.
You know what?
I used to live there.
It's Holloway, baby.
He said that to everyone.
He went, I've just been walking down the street thinking I'm really cold and need a jacket.
You haven't got any jacket on.
I went, I mean, I was huffing and puffing
on a line bike
yeah
I said I'm from the north
did you
yeah
and he just let me go on my way
he didn't need to stop me to do that
more relaxing when you're on the bike
isn't it
exactly
because you can just get away
I'm giving it the big licks
I'm so chatty
so I went for a run on Sunday morning
and I thought to myself
if I just run for half an hour
that'll be a good bit of exercise
for the day yeah and I ran for half an hour that'll be a good bit of exercise for the day
and I ran for half an hour
and I was still about
I don't know
probably about
another half an hour
from running home
obviously
because I was half an hour away
and I thought
I can't run back
too tired
so I sat on the bench
watching the Sunday League
football match
in the field
in the park
I thought
I know what I'll do
I'll join in
I'll get a lot
yeah they were like grandad fuck off I thought I know what I'll do I'll join in I'll get a lot yeah
yeah
they were like
grandad fuck off
I thought I'll get
I'll roll a line back home
easy
I've got my phone with me
just scan it in
off I go
that's the beauty of it
found a line bike
only
because by this point
I was in Dulwich Village
very posh
they don't probably like
you dropping line bikes
and leaving them there
so there wasn't many around
in that big
big girls' school.
Or boys' school.
Boys and girls' school.
It started as a girls' school and then boys' school.
For the record, I was nowhere near the girls' school.
And your line bike.
And it was a Sunday.
Carry a bag hanging off your handlebar.
In my Mac.
In your Mac.
And I found one line bike available.
And I thought, right, I'll go.
I walked to that line bike.
Walked over there.
Got about 50 metres away,
see a young kid, he's lining up as well,
and he's ahead of me.
Right, okay.
I would have liked to have said a bit of respect paid to elders,
and him to say, would you like the line bike?
Would you like the line bike?
He was a posh kid, he'd obviously been impeccably brought up,
publicly school educated.
I would have liked to have thought, if it went on form,
he would have said, terribly terribly sorry old chap, you are
clearly my elder, do you need to get
anywhere quickly? You're welcome
to take this line bike. I would have run around and kicked
the spokes off. He just dumped his bag straight in the basket
and jumped on it as quick as he could.
But he looked at me as if to say
I know you wanted this line
bike, but I just needed it more.
And I like to think that I looked at him back
and said to him
with my look back to him
it's good to see
a younger generation
enjoying a line bike
go and enjoy yourself son
I've walked home
I've got two stories
from having a line bike
about half an hour ago
it's really fertile content
content machines
like the spokes
are the content
that produce the content the chain is the chain the content content that produce the content
the chain
is the chain
in the machine
that produces the content
it's quite tortured
this isn't it
everything about this show
is tortured
but I
yeah
I put my
I just
I tootled up to my mate's house
to go and pick up my laptop
and I left my coat
in the front basket
and I completely forgot
oh shit
it was only a load of
dirty sandwiches
somewhere left as well
so
I'm a loser either way.
Went up,
came straight back down
the lift 10 floors
and then
my bag's nowhere to be seen.
I was like,
oh no.
A, I've forgotten to stop it
and B,
I've forgotten to
take my coat out
and it's gone
and someone's nicked it.
Are you being serious?
Someone's nicked off with it.
So now someone's still
riding on your dollar
right now probably. No, because as I riding on your dollar. Right now, probably.
No, because as I was...
I stopped it, basically.
Yeah.
As I was coming down, I was like, shit, I forgot to stop my ride.
I stopped the ride.
And I stopped it.
And it looks like the guy had got halfway across...
Straight over the handlebars.
He kind of got straight off across the way.
And I was like, I wonder if that line back's the one I just had.
And then I ran over and it wasn't. And my court was in the wonder if that line bikes the one I just had and then I ran
over and it wasn't
it my coat was in the
front so he didn't
steal my coat but he
stole away with 30
pence of my ride time
you should have yeah
always stop it because
if you're a line prime
member you don't have
to pay on locking
fees but it said take
a picture and I just
took a picture of a
lift that was it
oh it doesn't doesn't
doesn't it doesn't
use any fancy eye to
figure out it's a bike
or not I got a um a warning the other day for parking mine in a hurry.
In a red zone.
I was going to meet Sam Smith.
You know Sam, obviously Sam.
I was going to meet him for dinner.
The singer, yeah?
No, not that Sam.
It was the other Sam Smith who used to work with us
and I was running late and so I just left it
and it was like, sent me an email saying,
oh, don't do that again.
I'll give you a big fine and you might be banned from the app.
I'm not going to be banned
from the app
banned from the app
not the amount
why would they ban you
from the app
if you're using LimeBite
if you're a Lime Prime
if you're a Lime Prime member
it's like I was in Pets at Home
a couple of years ago
and I was just feeding
Lola food out of the
out of the little bins
just handing it out
so you're stealing
she was eating it
I wasn't eating
it's still in
at that point
it's still in the shop
inside my dog at best you're at best you, at that point, it's still in the shop. At best,
inside my dog.
At best,
you're right.
Did you make that point?
Legal loophole.
Well,
I said,
I was like,
God,
stop doing that. That's literally shoplifting.
I was like,
we're spending like,
nearly 150 quid today.
That's not how shops are though,
is it?
No.
They don't look at the big picture,
do they?
If I go buy a car for 30 grand,
I don't get another cheaper car for free.
That's what I'm paying for this one.
Well,
I mean,
you should do.
At least you're aiding and abetting theft there. And the dog
probably can't be held legally accountable.
So it's going to fall to you, baby. That's a good point, actually.
Speaking of dogs, because I don't know if people are
that interested in line bikes. Speaking of dogs,
but they are interested in dogs. Are they?
You've got a new dog. We do.
It's so good. It's such good news.
We've been to look at a dog. Press a button
on that thing to make a fanfare sound.
Because it's...
Oh, shit, it's broken.
Anyway, I'll do one.
Row, row, row.
Nice, I like that.
New dog.
Tell us about it.
Little dog.
Little baby border terrier.
How old?
It is a...
Eight weeks? Six is a eight weeks?
Six weeks?
Do you get it at ten weeks or something like that?
Yeah, we couldn't do a rescue for various reasons
I won't go into now, but we had to
have a pop-up, so we
are now
going to be picking up a pop-up in about a week's time.
It's so exciting.
It's going to be brilliant, because my day was
went to a car boot,
more on that later, bought an Amsterdam email,
more on that later,
no doubt.
Yeah, I don't understand that.
Ate yesterday's curry,
went to go and play football,
ran the line for half the line,
then started right back
for about 10 minutes
in a 3-2 win.
We'd play next to
Hashtag United's youth side.
Oh, right.
Yeah, right.
Proper footballers. Yeah. Was this in South. All right. Yeah, right. Proper footballers.
Was this in Southend?
Close.
Canary Island.
Yeah, that's where they play, yeah.
Down, and then we had,
and then I had,
we went to look at a dog,
which is great.
Met a dog.
Saw a horse.
Struck the horse's nose.
And then had a roast dinner.
What a great day.
And then watched,
a bit of telly.
I watched that 100 TV show
you were talking about.
Physical 100,
it's good, right?
Physical 100.
We all watched the first one
with the hanging off stuff.
It's great.
Yeah,
I like that guy
who's the ex-MMA judo guy
who looks really cool.
Oh,
looks like Tony Stark.
Yes.
Chung-Soon Hook,
yeah,
he's brilliant.
He's brilliant.
The show gets better and better.
It starts,
the way they plan the,
I think they call them quests.
It's really clever.
It's really interesting.
But they're really sort of like these powerful people.
And I don't know why they're charming because they're Korean,
not British or American.
But you just know there's something about seeing muscular people talking about muscular people.
Going, oh, look at that.
Like, if they were doing it with an English accent, muscular people talking about muscular people going, oh, look at that.
Like,
if they were doing it with an English accent,
you'd be like,
get over yourself.
Great stuff.
Very enjoyable.
The way they do it,
which is interesting,
is that,
so for those of you
who haven't heard this show,
Physical 100,
it's on Netflix.
I believe it's on Netflix
in the US as well,
if you're listening
from that fair country.
And what they do
is they've got the 100,
they said 100 best athletes male and female in Korea and they put them against each other and see what they do is they've got the hundred they said 100 best athletes
male and female in korea and they put them against each other and see who the best is
and but the clever thing as he moved for the series is they start to get them into teams
right and then they break the teams up and move the teams around and then go oh now you've got
to do something on your own and all the rest of it so like it's actually very um it's very um
kind of manipulative with the viewer.
Because you start cheering on for certain people.
It's really good.
It's great how you've already got your kind of favorites.
And I would say that it started, you had to hang on to this thing.
And I thought, well, that's going to just absolutely destroy all the big people, isn't it?
Because they're too heavy.
Power to weight ratio.
But it was just for a commendation or something.
It was to get...
What did they get?
So it meant if you were one of the 50 that stayed on longest,
you got to choose who your opponent was on the next one.
Oh, nice.
That is quite useful.
The best moment of that was when they literally just...
Hundreds of them had to hang off a scaffold
for as long as they could, and that was basically it.
And you have never seen a happier man
than the fucking...
The gymnast.
He was like, I could probably do 40 minutes.
Yeah.
It was bad.
Because he had a sort of technique where he was sort of like,
he'd sort of push himself right over and he'd mash himself between two.
And you could go any way, I think.
Apart from feeding, I presume, feeding yourself through the thing
and folding yourself in your midriff.
I imagine that would be frowned upon.
Yeah, I think it probably was.
You've got to use your arms. Yeah, I think it probably was. You've got to use your arms.
Yeah, I think it probably was.
And I think for me, after a couple of seconds,
falling into that beautiful swimming pool looked quite nice.
It looked nice and warm, didn't it?
I only don't like that German-Korean man.
Oh, Dustin Nippert.
Dustin Nippert.
The baseball guy.
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, the other guy.
Oh, the other guy.
Yeah, the German bloke who's a bit of an influencer kind of bloke.
It's absolutely accurate to say
that I could do that for less than a second.
No, you couldn't.
Yes, you could.
No, you couldn't.
What?
You could do it for longer than that.
Anyway.
Jam your arms over.
Physical 100 is very good.
It's worth...
After a while, I'd be worried that
if I'm hanging on for too long,
I might damage my arm.
I'll pull my arm out
and I might not be able to continue with the...
Well, no spoilers, but injuries do become a factor.
Do they?
Later in the series, later in the run.
Peter, before we go for a break, I want to applaud and thank our friend Al.
Hi, Al.
Who put this...
He put this story in our bloody inbox.
In our Twitter box.
I'm just going to read it to you.
Okay.
A 2,000-year-old dildo found at Roman Fort in Northumberland in 1992.
It's been reassessed by archaeologists.
They thought it was a darning tool.
They now are absolutely convinced
it's a Roman sex toy. Yeah, and it was
found under your mum's bed. Ha ha.
And it could be actually because your mum
is 2,000 years old.
What do you think about that, Peter? I don't know. Let's have
a look at it. Let's have a look at the little chap. So, archaeologists
believe they may have found the only life-sized
Roman dildo known
discovered in a ditch in what were the
farthest northest fringes of the Empire.
If it was not used
as a sexual implement...
I'll eat my dildo,
he says, a scientist.
Then the 2,000-year-old object
may have been
an erect penis-shaped pestle.
Oh, so it's like a kind of like
when you go on to Torremolinos,
you get like a little bottle opener
and it's the shape of a penis.
Yeah.
They were making basically a pestle
that looked like a wanger.
Good news for those of us who can never remember which one's a pestle and which one's the shape of a penis. Yeah. They were making basically a pestle that looked like a wanger. Good news for those of us
who can never remember
which one's a pestle
and which one's the mortar.
Now I'll always know.
Or it could have been a feature
of a statue that people touched
for good luck.
I'd like to think it's a dildo, personally.
It looks like the end of a banister
and I'm very...
It was found in Northumberland in 1992.
It's good.
I mean, that bit isn at the end of a banister
what are you talking about
it's like a cock
no it looks like the end of a
you know
if you turn that cock around
and the cock's pointing down
if there's like a
there's a ball on the top
that would make a banister
wouldn't it
yeah
I see what you're saying
yeah
what does your
what does your house look like
what does my house
how is your house by the way
it's fine
everything's
tickety-boo
I've got a real problem with green algae kind of growth on my back patio.
I'm going to have to sort of...
I've used some kind of chemicals to get rid of some of it.
I just need to paint the bum.
Green growth on your back patio?
Green growth on my back patio.
I'm getting on that edge.
It sounds like it.
When I was in Pompeii, you weren't there because you were too hungover.
I went later.
I'm still there.
Yeah, you did actually, yeah.
It's gotten better
because more of it's been revealed.
You texted saying,
you're not coming to Pompeii
because you've got a hangover
and it's not going to go anywhere
so you've got another time.
I didn't, I just couldn't get to sleep.
I don't know,
I had jet lag for the one hour difference.
Yeah, right.
Two hour difference.
Well, we all know
why you couldn't get to sleep.
And on one of the bits...
You make that sound like it's drug related.
No. You made that sound like it's drug related no
you made that sound
drug related
espresso martinis
yeah
and red vodka red balls
why do I do that to myself
and now before you know it
you're wearing a heart monitor
and you're labelled a prat
how is your heart monitor
I don't know
it's still there
they gave me it on
I wasn't very well
it's having
palpitations
everyone has palpitations
I understand that
it's completely normal,
but they don't usually
pass out after one of them.
So,
during the ramble,
going quiet
after the ramble.
There's no joke to this.
Sorry Marcus,
I've got to go home,
I'm not feeling very well.
There's no joke to this,
but I mean,
for those of us
who were terrified
about you almost drowning,
we're also equally terrified
to hear about this.
Maybe I just need
to live in the sky.
I've tried sea,
I've tried land,
can't do either thing,
so.
Yeah.
What other elements?
You could live in, sleep now in the fire, as've tried sea, I've tried land, can't do either thing, so. Yeah. What other elements? You could sleep now in the fire.
Peter looks so much better
now he lives in the fire.
Yeah.
So more portable.
Can I just tell a quick story
about this heart monitor?
Because I wasn't there
when you had the heart problem.
You went to the doctor.
I don't think I have a heart problem,
I'm just trying to figure out
what it is.
The cardiologist,
the person in,
I tried to go to the doctor.
Don't take it personally.
Wouldn't let me go.
I'm just,
I'm just,
I would usually just go to a doctor
and he'd sort it out
or she'd sort it out.
But then I went,
but I couldn't see the doctor.
They said,
it's a heart.
Go and see the emergency room.
So I had to sit in triage
for so many hours.
And then they referred me
to a cardiologist.
Right.
And then I told you where to go
and you didn't,
and you refused to.
Yeah, but it was...
I tried rigging them,
but they didn't have anything from later on.
And my heart could have just stopped.
That is true, actually.
Literally every second counted.
Exactly.
Let me tell the story just very briefly.
It's like Jason Statham's film Crank.
I had to jerk off or something.
Did you have to jerk?
Didn't this heartbeat have to stay over a certain amount?
Yeah, exactly.
That's a really good idea for a film, by the way. It's really good, isn't it? I haven't seen it yeah exactly that's a really good idea for a film by the way
it's really good isn't it
I haven't seen it
but it's a really good
idea for a film
so Pete's in his very
own version of Crank
if you like
and I heard this story
that you had this problem
and you had to go home
and you were getting
stuff sorted out
so I checked on how you were
and you said you were okay
and you were getting
this heart monitor
fast forward 48 hours
I checked on you again
and you were taking
apart the heart monitor while it was attached to your chest.
And I said to you, you shouldn't be doing that.
I was looking in the back of it, see where the batteries went.
And I thought to myself, actually, do you know who I blame?
I blame the doctor for giving you that,
because you can't change the nature of a man.
You can't change the essence of a man.
The thing is, I've got a, what was I going to say?
I've got a, I've covered it in black pen
because you've got to take it
I'm appetite by the look of it
yeah well you've got
well that was just falling off
but you've got to take the
you've got to take it up
and put it back on again
put these little kind of
you know those little
pressed up things
the electrodes effectively
you've got to put it on your skin
and I
and I couldn't get it
oh god
oh god
oh shit
that is a problem
that is an issue
don't keep pulling it apart
it's a heart monitor for a reason
it's never done that before
now put it back
put it back
alright
the readings they're going to get
are going to be unhelpful
you're not going to be
you're going to be back
where you started
aren't you
you're going to be back
where you started
I've never done that
but it's just two little
two little batteries
two little babbers
oh it's perfect
so you're committing to the Lupita cause.
So the batteries found inside my heart monitor
were just little, what do you call them, ear things.
Hearing aids.
Hearing aid batteries, yeah, little bits.
We both had heart monitors now.
Yours seemed sexier than mine.
Mine, was yours like that?
No.
It was smaller, wasn't it?
Yeah.
It was better, wasn't it?
But not as small as I wanted it to be, but it was smaller.
And it was horrific taking it off
because I didn't shave my chest
before they put it on.
So it was basically like
seeing a 40-year-old virgin.
Yeah.
Although the only difference
being I was 42.
Don't get old, guys.
No.
You worry about your heart.
It absolutely fucking sucks
is what it does.
Anyway, let's have a quick break.
But we're fine.
We're broadly fine.
Yeah, we'll be okay.
We'll probably make it
to the end of this show at least.
Let's have a quick break.
When we come back,
we'll do a couple more bits.
We'll also do people's
batteries as well.
So that's something
to look forward to.
We're back with
the Luke and Pete show
and as revealed,
inside my heart monitor,
just some normal
commoner garden batteries.
Yeah.
So there we go.
You said hearing aid batteries.
Yeah, hearing aid batteries.
Yeah, commoner garden ones.
I thought,
are they the same
as a watch battery?
Yes, yes, I believe they are. Just a little larger. Okay, cool. Right, yeah, commoner garden ones. Are they the same as a watch battery? Yes,
yes,
I believe
they are.
Just a little
larger.
Okay,
cool.
Right,
okay,
batteries,
let's do it.
Yeah,
alright.
Hello to
Richard,
he's come in
with a pair
of Tronics,
which I believe
was a Dr. Dre
album.
Hello,
I may have a new
player for you
from my torch,
it's Tronic
batteries,
thank you,
Richard.
They're red.
They're black.
They're halfway down your back.
It's Richard's Tronic Batteries.
That's nice.
Get in there.
You'd be delighted with that.
A little song.
Fucking excellent.
Richard, they're not new players, I'm afraid.
Piece of shit. They've been sent in six times previously to this.
The first time that Tronic was sent in
was on the 3rd of November 2019, baby.
Right.
Richard's never allowed to listen again.
Joe!
I hope you enjoyed your song there, Richard.
Found these in my granddaughter's musical book
that's at least 10 years old.
Hopefully third time's the charm
with some really corroded Diane Ware batteries.
D-I-A-N
W-A-I
sounds like a soul singer
Diane Ware
they are incredibly
corroded
it's
left a terrible
residue
a rusty residue
all over
the instructions
to said
granddaughter's
musical book
so yeah
and we are the
rusty residue
of the podcast
we are the rusty residue
and Joe
they are new players.
Congratulations to you.
No one has sent in
Dianne Way batteries before.
So well done to you.
Great spot.
Great submission.
We're very, very happy
to have you on board.
It's on Dianne Way of life.
Yeah.
That's your own.
Chris from Delaware
has come in with an email
that says,
hello Luke and Pete.
Is it?
Could it be?
Is this a new player in the game?
On opening my recently acquired
secondhand Electro Harmonix guitar pedal,
a Micro Q-Tron for those curious,
I was greeted with this.
Electro Harmonix,
super heavy duty 9-volt battery.
How delightful that these guitar pedals
come with a house brand battery.
Some research identifies the picture,
not as retired 80s era wrestler
as the image would lead us to believe,
but as Mike Matthews,
the founder of Electro Harmonix.
The picture is hilarious.
Amazing.
He simply looks like Jimmy Savile.
He simply does look like Jimmy Savile.
He looks like,
he looks like he's kind of like,
it doesn't help the not looking like
an 80s wrestler look
or even 70s
wrestler look he's wearing a cut-off vest he's wearing a cut-off vest he's kind of doing i like
the fact that you've got your own company making yeah electronic stuff and you're gonna put a
picture of yourself on the batteries that's a nice flex that is a nice flex literally in this case
so micro so electro harmonics super heavy duty enough, that is the third time they've been sent in.
Each of the last two were also 9 volts, as this one is.
So it's not a new player, Chris, I'm afraid.
But it's very pleasing to hear that some guitar pedals
do in fact include a battery,
because no guitar pedal I've ever had has included one.
Always 9 volters,
aren't they?
Yeah.
That picture,
that picture of the,
the lead of Harmonix
on a related tack
kind of looks a little bit like
Peter Steele.
Who's that?
From Type O Negative.
Let me have a little Google.
I don't really know Peter,
I don't really know Type O Negative.
He was a very,
I think he was a very tall man.
Oh yeah,
it does look like him,
he was,
he's a tank.
He was absolutely huge,
he was a big muscle man and he was in, he's dead now, isn't he? Yeah, I think, I think, didn't he get, didn't he do a very tall man. Oh yeah, it does look like him. He's a tank. He was absolutely huge. He was a big muscle man.
He's dead now, isn't he?
Yeah.
Didn't he do a naked shoot in Playgirl?
Yeah, he did, yeah.
And then he found out that a lot of the main people who bought Playgirl
was gay men, and it really upset him.
Surely it doesn't make any difference to him, does it?
I mean...
It shouldn't do, anyway.
Send your letter to the care of the male ego.
Yeah, he's dead.
He's dead now.
Yeah, it's fine.
So the guitar pedals,
I mean, this will be something of interest to you
and to the listenership.
The guitar pedals I use are the Rat,
which doesn't come with a battery included,
but it's a classic pedal.
The Rat.
Yeah, and a Joyo analog chorus pedal,
which also didn't come with a battery.
What's wrong with those kind of ones that add all the effects?
They were always the best, weren't they?
Those digital...
Stompbox.
Those kind of like big ones.
Stompboxes are okay as far as like,
if you only play that once a month, they're fine.
They don't last very long, though,
and every sound in them sounds the same.
Yeah, Zoom.
I went through a few Zooms.
Oh, Zoom pads.
Yeah, they're good.
People who DJ back in the 90s used those Zoom pads.
They make this sound.
Oh, I mean, they did everything, mate.
If you know how to use them.
All the noises.
Oh, keep going.
Awooka.
Awooka.
Okay, so there you go.
That's nice.
You sound a bit like the start of...
What song is that?
You always do that fucking song,
that fucking weird emo song that you like.
What weird emo song that I like?
Oh, what the fuck is it called?
Yeah, how many Eps are we in?
And we finally stumped Luke Moore.
Oh, I'll come back to you.
He's asking me.
He's asking me.
Oh, just every week these days.
It's like some weird song,
Sound of the Wickedness or something weird song, Sound of the Wickedness
or something like that.
Sound of the Wickedness.
You always just say it.
It's like some weird guy
shouting it at the beginning.
Sound of the Wickedness.
Oh, I can't remember what it is.
It's annoying me.
That sounds wonderful.
Anyway, let me rescue this.
I love the Sound of the Wickedness.
Let me rescue...
No, Down with the Sickness.
That's it.
That's not emo, is it?
What is it?
Yeah, exactly.
What is it?
What song is it?
Who sings it? Oh, fuck. Who is it? What song is it? Who sings it?
Oh, fuck.
Who sung that?
Oh, with a sickness.
It's Disturbed, isn't it?
Yes.
Yeah, Disturbed.
What kind of music would you call that, then?
A new metal, innit?
Oh, with a sickness.
Oh, with a sickness.
Yeah.
Fucking terrible.
Anyway, hello at lukeandpeach.com is the email
if you want to send your battery submissions in. We had one new player this week. Always nice to see. Fucking terrible. Anyway, hello at lukeandpetech.com is the email if you want to send your battery submissions in.
We had one new player this week.
Always nice to see.
Always pleasing.
But if you want to send a normal email in as well,
you're welcome to.
We've had one here from our friend Oz.
And Pete, this is a great email.
I'm going to read it out to you.
I don't know if you've already seen it,
but I'm going to read it out to you anyway.
Hey, guys.
I emailed back a couple of years ago
saying how I listened to the show
while going to school for visual effects.
So he's studying visual effects at school.
Well, I can now proudly say I was listening to the show
while I worked doing visual effects on The Last of Us.
Yes!
Mondays and Thursdays are always made better
by your nonsense and batteries chat.
Glad Peter's okay and the bigger boys are sitting at your place, Luke.
Cheers for the laughs.
We'll update you on any other big projects
you're a small part of, Oz.
Could you make one
of the little mushroom things
resemble an L and a P?
That'd be great.
You do sometimes see
these kind of little Easter eggs
and stuff
because visual effects guys
have done this and that.
Yeah, so season two
is the last of us, Austin.
Presumably your skills
are good enough
to be retained for season two.
Let's not count our chicken.
But if they are are because I think the
visual effects look
amazing
you've got to do a
Luke and Pete show
not in there
the thing about
visual effects is
you can create
I mean there could
be a million things
he works on
he could be working
on
I looked him up
on IMDB mate
powder
I looked him up
explosions
he could be just
light
he could be doing
all kinds of things
rather than actually
modelling but like the people who kind of like model the characters and stuff He could be just light. He could be doing all kinds of things rather than actually modeling.
But the people who kind of model the characters and stuff,
they're already one part of the puzzle,
and then they'll give it to somebody to light and to animate
and stuff like that.
And you might have the example of a mate who worked on visual effects
for a film.
He made a beautiful, really accurate Arnold Schwarzenegger
Terminator model, right?
He hands it off.
Somebody else lights it,
somebody else animates it,
somebody else composites it into the scene.
And if they do their job incorrectly,
the model looks shite.
Yeah, okay.
You know what I mean?
Because it's lit poorly.
Yeah, okay.
And I looked at Oz
and he also worked
he also worked on
Star Trek Strange New Worlds
which the wife I have access to
is absolutely obsessed with
she's very excited
it's good stuff
so I like to think
that the brain spores
that is the Luke B. Shaw
has helped create
visual spores
that repeat
and infect
in The Last of Us
I thought the most recent
Last of Us
at Time Recording
was amazing as well.
I've only done the one
with the
deaf boy.
That is the one.
I thought there was
the next one,
isn't there?
When does it come out?
What does it come out?
Oh, it came out yesterday.
There's a new one
that came out yesterday.
Okay, not seen that one.
But the deaf boy one
is the one I'm talking about.
Yeah, it's good, that one.
Brilliant.
Yeah, brilliant.
Brutal.
I don't remember that in the game. I don't remember anything. What's the point of me having all these experiences? I'm talking about yeah it's good that one brilliant yeah brilliant brutal I don't remember that
in the game
I don't remember anything
what's the point of me
having all these experiences
I'm just going to forget them
every film I've ever watched
I've just forgotten
apart from films I've seen
more than once
which is like
The Jerk
Virgin Suicides
Fight Club
that's all I got
pathetic
it's a nice way to be
because you're never
going to be bored
that's a good point
yeah but no
I refuse to watch
a film twice
what did you think
about episode 3
did it make you cry big boy tears good we spoke about it
didn't we like yeah it was um what's up we didn't talk about on here oh did we i can't remember you
sent me a mocked up what's up with you crying i saw it um because in the in the in the game it's
quite hard to miss their relationship a little bit sorry it's quite easy to miss their relationship
it's not it's not it's not it's not overtly no exactly put a round down your throat yeah bloody liberals
but yeah
go broke mate
that's what I always say
I remember sort of saying
that it was
at the time
the last of us
I think it was
it was a really affecting
interesting
image of a relationship
because it was
so understated
and normal
and sad
it was very affecting
I can't believe
all the trolls to this show,
of which we have a few.
All the trolls.
I've never come up with
the Woken Pete show yet.
The Walken Pete show.
It would work, wouldn't it?
Because I'm the walkers,
that's why.
The Woken Bleat show.
Bleat show, yeah.
Bleating on.
Did you see this?
There's another
Luke and Pete show
kicking around.
Yeah, I saw you linked it
to a YouTube video.
Funny that.
Are they good or not?
They seem like nice lads.
I don't know.
Slag them off.
I can't remember what it's actually got.
I think it's all the Luke and Pete
having an argument or something.
It was something like that.
Is the Luke and Pete something or something?
Is that our fault?
What do you mean?
That's their names,
so I mean, what can we do?
That's true.
Interesting they've gone for Luke first as well,
because you kicked off about that
for a few months, I remember.
Arguing that you were the bigger personality,
which I agree with, but it's alphabetical
yes good point
on that note
we'll do another one on Monday
thank you very much
for listening to this Thursday
we hope you've enjoyed it
we will of course
be back as I've said
the other side of this weekend
coming up
are you going to open a big box
oh yeah we are
actually our friend Noah
sent us some more stuff
so that's exciting
we might even have
some more batteries
for the battery daddy
that he sent us too
so that's also really exciting have a lovely weekend you've the battery daddy that he sent us too so that's also
really exciting
have a lovely weekend
you've almost made it
to the end of the week
keep going
you'll get there
and on Monday
when it feels a bit depressing
because it's a Monday
we'll be there
to pick you up again
by showing you
that our lives
are simply worse than yours
therefore making you feel better
later
crypto kings and queens
see you later.
The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack Production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.