The Luke and Pete Show - Spying on Tony Blackburn

Episode Date: April 6, 2020

Hello and a very happy Monday to you all! On today's episode of The Luke and Pete Show, our two eponymous antiheroes discuss the films of John Hughes, facial hair (or lack of it), and Pete tells us a ...story of a man who made a clay guitar. Elsewhere there's the social impact of a certain swear word, the time Pete popped an entire bottle of champagne to himself before going to bed because he felt light-headed, and finally we hear a truly chilling tale involving an elaborate CCTV set up and Tony Blackburn. Don't worry, it's not what you think. There's the best of your stories too, so stick around for those and to get involved yourself it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or your preferred podcast provider. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Pete, a little bit of news that will get you very excited. Ooh. Go on then. I was in TalkSport on Friday and Giza comes over, says, I've got something for you. I said, all right, great. It's normally not good news.
Starting point is 00:00:20 No. And he pulls out of his... Just cough in your face. Guess what he pulled out of his bag for me? Oh, I don't know. A big, long cucumber. A 10-metre ethernet cable. Oh, hello.
Starting point is 00:00:36 10 metres of fun. I thought of you straight away. He said to me, that's high speed, by the way. I said, fucking get in there. Cat 6, baby. Lovely old job. I don't know what that means but I think it's right. Have you indulged? I haven't. It's sitting there
Starting point is 00:00:51 looking at me in a lovely coiled pile. Coiled spring. I will run it from the router later today as a little treat. Probably post lunch. Beautiful. Well, remember to turn off your Wi-Fi because it automatically defaults to Wi-Fi.
Starting point is 00:01:08 Test out that way. Okay, thanks for the tip. Making a note of that right now. All right, let's get cracking. All right, then. It's the Luke and Pete Show. My name is Pete Donaldson. I'm joined by Mr. Luke Moore.
Starting point is 00:01:28 Are you there, Luke Moore? Yes, you are. I've just been talking to you about ethernet cables. I am hearing you loud and clear, receiving you bright and breezy, Peter. I think lockdown is suiting you pretty well. You sound great. Well, it's a Monday morning.
Starting point is 00:01:44 We've kind of recorded the football ramble, so I'm kind of into the game. I've had my rice cake. I've been eating a lot of rice cakes in lockdown, Luke. So I'm going to obviously emerge from my Soho-based chrysalis, a beautiful skinny butterfly. Yeah, what people don't realise, there'll be people listening to this, Pete, thinking,
Starting point is 00:02:03 oh, he just has one rice cake. What people don't realise is that rice cake is six foot in diameter and 14 inches thick. And covered in lard. It's like the pancake that Uncle Buck makes for the kids on their birthday. What an obscure reference, even for a popular film. Do you remember that? I'll tell you what.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Not really, no. I'll tell you what. It's going to get to the point where we're about a week and a half two weeks away from um me just watching every john candy film but if you don't remember that scene the kids come down one of the kids played by the excellent macaulay colkin uh come down the stairs it's one of their birthdays and uncle buck is um he's essentially making giant pancakes using a big snow shovel to flip them. Right. Okay, nice.
Starting point is 00:02:47 I like that. It's got one of the best lines in the movie where Macaulay Culkin and his sister just go, wow, and he looks over at them and says, you should see the toast. I couldn't get it through the door. It's great. There are very few people in life, and I can genuinely sort of list them. Very few people in life. And I can genuinely sort of list them.
Starting point is 00:03:05 There's probably 50 people in the whole world who are as casually magnetic as John Candy. I was listening to... I thought you were going to say me there. Yeah, well, I'm afraid neither of us are in that bracket. No. But I just sort of think... I was listening to Ellis James on Greatest Games on the Football Rumble Saturday sort of thread.
Starting point is 00:03:23 I listened to a lot of his output with John Robbins over on Five live now and latterly uh x and i kind of came to the show quite late good old show um but there are some people who are so relaxed and effortlessly magnetic i would probably put him in that particular bracket and i was thinking imagine being that person that people just find your very presence reassuring, relaxing. And in John Candy's case, and certainly Alex Joseph's case, they're very funny people as well. I would love to have that kind of effortless, because I try and be funny all the time and I can't do it. And I'm manic about it. And it comes off as extreme nervousness and people can't relax around me, I would say.
Starting point is 00:04:03 And it comes off as extreme nervousness and people can't relax around me, I would say. Yeah, I feel the same because I think people feel with me that I'm going to either take the piss out of them or be mean or loud or overbearing or whatever. I understand what you mean. But the thing is, there's someone out there for everyone, Pete. So, I mean, what I would say is going back to the Uncle Buck thing, and I like Ellis James, but he's done very well there to be mentioned in the same breath as John Candy.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Anyway, speaking of Uncle uncle buck obviously it was um written and directed by the great john hughes who's no longer still with us dialogue about 10 years ago but if you look at some of the basically look at the list of films that john hughes was involved in either as a writer or a director or both or exec producer whatever it is absolutely astonishing i think he's particularly underrated because i'll give you a few i'll give you a few now uh the breakfast club um weird science ferris bueller's day off planes trains and automobiles uncle buck home alone i mean it's absolutely unbelievable the stuff he's been i think he was involved in beethoven well, which is... Maybe his big adventure.
Starting point is 00:05:08 I haven't seen that. Is that good? Probably not. He's probably done some shockers, but the point is he's done some amazing movies, and I don't know if he gets enough credit, to be honest. Well, he's certainly a filmmaker from our generation, I think. He kind of...
Starting point is 00:05:22 We probably think of him very fondly because obviously all of the films around about that time was made by him, pretty much. Yeah. He kind of owns our whole thing. But it's quite interesting as well, because if you look at the movies that he makes and the ones that are most famous,
Starting point is 00:05:42 I would say, I mean, they're not exactly, in terms of the plot themselves it's not like an astonishingly interesting kind of premise i mean ferris bueller's day off players trains not my bills uncle but home alone the breakfast club is a classic example because it's essentially about a kid's saturday detention or whatever but within those plots and within those movies he tells these amazing kind of truths about everyday life in a really entertaining and very funny way and given that he wrote a lot of those movies as well if not all of them um genius just a genius in my opinion it's not new news i've probably missed the boat massively i'm sure there was a big john hughes loving somewhere in the podcast world about
Starting point is 00:06:16 five years ago that you and i didn't know about but we're getting there now and then we'll start on john waters yeah who i also like he's got a little nice little moustache he's got a nice little moustache how is uh how's your beard growth uh going in in isolation now Luke obviously your capacity for growing beard age is very much known you've grown many beards in your time I'm I'm a newcomer to the whole uh the whole endeavor no I'm I'm I'm an over I'm a newcomer to the whole endeavor. No, I'm an overrated beard grower, to be honest. I can maintain a constant stubble, and I do do that. I normally have it on grade three on the clippers, and I've always got a little bit of a beard going because...
Starting point is 00:07:01 There's something going on. Frankly, there's a jowl involved otherwise. But when it comes to growing a full beard it's not that great it doesn't it doesn't look that good it's not it's not as it's not as decent as um as some other people but it's probably slightly better than yours you but you you are the you are the second poorest beard grower that i work with in broadcasting the other one is craig mitch who i work with at talk sport who has a frankly shocking combination of wispy beard and mustache yeah which he sticks with i've told him not to bother but he sticks with it i could do a mustache but the problem is my um you know there's big white hairs in my beard in my sort of chin beard so i could do a david brent gorty but um you are very strong around the chin and moustache area,
Starting point is 00:07:45 but other than that, it's quite basic, isn't it? Nothing else. It's so weird. Nothing else. And also, it's not level. On one side, it's completely bare on the dimple area. And on the other side, I've got full dimple-age. It's just so confusing and baffling.
Starting point is 00:07:59 So my first beard will be grey. I'm hoping to sort of be able to grow one around about the age of 50. It's a shame and my my brother-in-law who's only 24 25 i've known him for about five years and since i've known him so probably late teens he's been able to grow a magnificent massive beard he's got like a massive fisherman's beard at the moment yeah it's amazing my dad could do one i just can't do it it's weird yeah my old man can as well what um pete last time i spoke to you um within the luke and pete show parameters um was a week ago so what um what have you been up to what's been going on
Starting point is 00:08:34 how are you coping i have mainly obviously extended my youtube viewing to some peripheral uh interests i spent most of the week watching... WrestleMania was on there this week. It's the first one I think they've ever done behind closed doors. Yeah. In fact, it is the first one they've ever done behind closed doors
Starting point is 00:08:52 because it was obviously very interesting. A lot of pre-recorded Undertaker versus AJ Styles kind of on-location shoots in the Boneyard graveyard. But also there were some um at the development center behind closed doors with no audience kind of matches and the first one was the uh the women's some kind of women's title tag team title i think um and so there's one of these japanese wrestlers who screams mainly in japanese um and i find her fascinating because she's got a YouTube channel where she just goes into her backyard and just cooks food, plays with slime, goes to the shops.
Starting point is 00:09:33 But she just, and it's terribly filmed, she mosaics everything so you can't tell where she's living. But it seems that she lives on some kind of Iraqi, kind of American marine compound. It's such an unattractive neighborhood. And so basically this week I watched a lot of her videos and a lot of a man who restores guitars. There's an old bloke in America somewhere, and he is a wonderful watch.
Starting point is 00:10:05 He basically takes these really interesting guitars, restores them. I watched one yesterday where he installed some carbon fiber rods in an old pre-Telecaster, Stratocaster era Fender product. I also watched one last night that was somebody had made a very unique and patented it, a very unique clay fired guitar. The entirety of the guitar was made of clay, hollow body, obviously, but it had electricals in it. So can you imagine how hard it is to get electricals to kind of stay in the right position on a clay guitar? How do they even do that?
Starting point is 00:10:41 There's a very specific kind of firing that allows you it's a medium to low heat firing that allows the um the clay to be a lot stronger he chose the right materials he did a lovely bit of work on it but all the way through this program he takes it to a uh an educational establishment to to find out more about the pottery aspect of it he he manages to fix everything that needs to be fixed he gets an expert in to date all of about the pottery aspect of it. He manages to fix everything that needs to be fixed. He gets an expert in to do all of the pickups and the parts and the wiring and find out when it was made. They locate the person who made it,
Starting point is 00:11:13 who just died a couple of years ago. And all the way through this bloody video, I'm thinking if he fucking drops that, I'm going to be furious with him. But he doesn't because he's an expert. And he fixes it and it's got a lovely weird sound because it's made of clay it's incredible i love it yeah that's nice you can share me the link and i'll put it on the twitter because you don't even know the password um what um what have you have you been indulging in any um taking a part of things around your
Starting point is 00:11:41 house and putting them back together again i think a lot of people myself included would have predicted that you would be doing that kind of thing over recent weeks to be honest i um i've still got projects that i had left over from um pre-isolation so i've not really um gone to those lengths quite yet um i've i don't know about you luke but i've not i don't feel like i've been any less busy than I usually have. No, I've been busier. Yeah, you've been busier. You've been doing a lot of interviews, a bit of talk sport as well. I don't feel any less busy.
Starting point is 00:12:13 I'm certainly, my sleeping patterns have shifted a little bit more like they were when I was at Absolute Radio. I spent, mind you, I did spend two hours yesterday trying to find an interview uh when i interviewed john cena at marquise and wrestling i heard about this yeah was was fear was furious that's such a daunting story this you've wrestled me for two years you never told him you interview one of the biggest wrestlers of all time you're a complete idiot but i went back. He was very upset. He was very upset. I don't know why I didn't tell Mark that I interviewed John Cena. And it is to the universal discredit, the new system by the government, the universal discredit of me, but also Absolute Radio,
Starting point is 00:13:00 that they never put any of the video that they filmed online, on Twitter, on Facebook. I can find no reference to John Cena ever being in that building apart from a Getty Images paparazzi man who uploaded a picture of him leaving the building. That's the only reference I've got. So I'm currently like some kind of computer hacker trying to figure out how I can find this footage of me interviewing John Cena and and leslie mann for the uh long forgotten although it only came up two years ago film blockers a coming of age drama in which uh john cena puts a beer bong up his ass
Starting point is 00:13:35 and drink i think someone drinks the beer out of it his ass i think that's the thing isn't he isn't john cena in another movie with tina fey and amy poehler i think yes i think he's got a cameo and i can't remember the mate i can't remember what it's Isn't John Cena in another movie with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler? Yes. I think he's got a cameo in that. I can't remember what it's called, but it's quite funny. He's in that as well. Is it Amy Poehler?
Starting point is 00:13:56 He certainly, yeah. Was that the one? Yes, I think they're having a good... Who's that? One of the sisters is a nightman, the other one's really sensible and they have a big house party to try and recapture their youth and John Cena, I think he might play a drug dealer in the other one's really sensible and they have a big house party to try and recapture their youth and John Cena, I think he might be the player drug dealer in it. That's the one, yes.
Starting point is 00:14:09 Yes, yes, yes. I'm not seeing the film, but I... Because you are also very physically powerful. Intimidated by my physique, yeah. How is your physique going? Because you sometimes do... You sometimes pop out from nowhere and you're quite ripped,
Starting point is 00:14:19 but that hasn't happened for a little while now. That's a little bit rude, but... Whereas I'm always just solid... I'm always just fleshy. I've always just left. Because I've been in lockdown, I feel like I've lost a bit of weight simply because I'm not drinking quite as much alcohol.
Starting point is 00:14:36 Though I did slam a bottle of champagne on Saturday by myself. That was unbecoming. That was unbecoming of a man alone in his house. Tell us more about that. Was it a particularly nice bottle of champagne? It was, yeah. I Googled it afterwards. It was a gift and I drank it and it didn't need to be drank.
Starting point is 00:14:57 I was like, I'll have that. Then I put a spoon in it. I thought, yeah, that spoon's not going to be silver, is it? It's really stainless steel. Is that really going to help the... The fizz. The fizz. Is that going to be silver, is it? It's going to be stainless steel. Is that really going to help the... The fizz. The fizz. Is that going to help the wine going off?
Starting point is 00:15:09 So I thought, I'll just slam the rest of it. Very drinkable. It's only like nine units in a bottle of champagne. Who knew? Did you feel drunk afterwards? I felt lightheaded, let's say. Did you go to bed? I played some very unique games of uh pro evolution soccer on
Starting point is 00:15:26 my pc i had a um i had a lovely god just gonna say i got back from my radio show friday night quite late and sat down in the living room uh mimi was already asleep and uh just cracked open mate a lovely can of estrella just enjoyed a nice ice cold can of lager and then i went to bed oh that's nice that's what life is now that is what life is that's all right though isn't it i mean it's not you know it's not binge drinking because the problem is i'm a binge drinker so my i've drank so little this holiday holiday this this lockdown how many times but how many times the police ever told people like you, it's not a holiday? The amount of sunbathers in the churchyard behind my house yesterday was disgraceful. Yeah, I was looking at people on the internet,
Starting point is 00:16:16 people in the park doing what they're doing, and I was thinking, I don't even know that many people. How are they even doing that? It did sort of return some kind of normalcy to my life because there was a woman in the park uh in in the churchyard just screaming motherfucker and i was like that's the soho i remember it's been so quiet the last few weeks yeah did you get a little bit nostalgic for it a little bit yeah because i've been sleeping so well and sleeping so heavily uh because of the lack of just screaming people.
Starting point is 00:16:51 I've been lobbying for quite some years for you to have some earplugs and you still won't do it. I've got earplugs up the wazoo. I've got a specific brand that I like that I have. It's kind of like mittens. They've got a string between them. So if you lose one... Like a session drummer. Yes, exactly. So yeah, they one... Oh, like a session drummer. Yeah. Yes, exactly.
Starting point is 00:17:05 So yeah, they're my brand. Very nice. I can't remember what company makes them. Probably 3M, they make everything. Yeah, they do. Surreptitiously or publicly. Wasn't Trump having a pop at the end of the day? I think he was.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Oh, I don't know. He was. Were they indicted in the... Oh, what was that film about? What have we talked about? What did we talk about, Pete? On this show, What have we talked about? What do we talk about, Pete? On this show, what have we talked about when it comes to you and speculative indictments?
Starting point is 00:17:31 Stop it. It is the enemy of libel lawyers everywhere. They were involved in the non-stick pan-courting lawsuit. I think that was their... Teflon. One of their subsidiaries yes I wasn't going to mention them
Starting point is 00:17:46 but yeah I think they were involved in that company in some small way back in the day baby I remember when I remember there was
Starting point is 00:17:54 a kind of crushing realisation about 15 years ago when I realised sort of quietly to myself that I had been referring to
Starting point is 00:18:04 John Gotti, the former mafia boss, who was known as the Teflon Don throughout his career because obviously nothing would stick. I realized that I had been referring to him publicly to people I know for years as the T-Fal Don.
Starting point is 00:18:23 Well, they make great products too. White people products. Well, look, you can get away with a lot. I am testament too because I can never remember anything. Yeah, that's true. Shall we have a little break? And then when we come back from the break, PD, we'll do some emails from our listeners and maybe even some tweets as well.
Starting point is 00:18:40 All right then. And we're back from the break. I hope you enjoyed that advert. If there were no adverts, well break i hope you enjoyed that adverts uh if there were no adverts well i hope you enjoyed the absence of adverts uh does an advert there was adverts we're fucked anyway yeah true um let's pile into some uh emails uh lukie moore uh paul stavely's got in touch hi both on a recent recent ramble, Luke mentioned the use of wanker in the Confessions of a Kid's Fiverside Manager blockbuster playing for keeps.
Starting point is 00:19:09 Yeah. Now it has a different impact and is quite funny to Americans. It made me think of the time I got linguistically mugged off by the bloody Independent. I live and work, or at least I did before the current situation, in Shanghai, and when we moved there in 2016, it wasn't long before we made friends with a colleague from California.
Starting point is 00:19:22 She's a university counsellor and she was fascinated by the fact that a lot of us came from Yorkshire and used unusual phrases she'd not heard before. So we decided to teach her a few. One thing she'd never heard before was the term bellend. And we tried to explain to her that it was something you would probably more likely use in a quite affectionate way, perhaps as an expression of exasperation rather than malice, like, oh, you bellend, rather than you bellend. It's not strong enough, is it?
Starting point is 00:19:47 She wasn't convinced, as in the past, people had taken advantage of her good nature by teaching her innocent phrases or words that were not, as it turned out, quite so innocent. Eventually, we persuaded her that bellend really wasn't that massive a deal, although you still wouldn't use it in front of a team of nine-year-olds.
Starting point is 00:20:01 Later, The Independent published a ranking of British swear words from most offensive to least. The top two slots were taken by the two you'd expect with the C-bomb in at number one, followed by the F-word at number two, which is fair enough. A quick glance below, though, showed that sitting there in at number three
Starting point is 00:20:16 was Bellend. I'm not having that. I'm not having that in any way. I couldn't believe they had made such a culturally torn-deaf error, the silly cunts. She would not accept my protestations that Bellend had no business being that high up the list and still doesn't trust me to this day.
Starting point is 00:20:34 I would love to know your thoughts. Lots of love. Stay safe. Paul from Leeds and South China. Paul, if you can clip this part of the podcast, I cannot stress this enough, American colleague from california bellend is not even top 20 no i i would i would throw further weight behind that and say that bellend is a word that i would comfortably use in front of my parents and they wouldn't be upset about it
Starting point is 00:20:59 yeah and you also think i've heard people there's I wouldn't, would you get away with it late nights on radio saying Bel-End? I think you probably would. It wouldn't be one, you'd probably say, careful with the language, Carla, rather than. Oh, I can't believe you've done that. I can't believe you've done, yeah, it would not need that much of an apology, I think it's fair to say. Would you say Bel-End in front of Stuart and Christine? Yeah, definitely. I used the C word on a family WhatsApp recently.
Starting point is 00:21:33 Oh, my gosh. I would never, ever. Might have been you. It probably was. I would never, ever say the C word in front of anyone in my family. Ever. You reckon? No.
Starting point is 00:21:47 Really? I wouldn't. I just wouldn't, no. Oh, well. You're northern though, so you're more kind of rough around the edges than me. Brusk. Brusk.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Yeah. I've met your family, but you've not met mine, so. I've met your family. I've met them at Newcastle. Oh, you have? I've only met them at Newcastle. That's right, yes.
Starting point is 00:22:02 Yeah. God, I had to really sort of explain why it was important to support my life and come up only met him in Newcastle. That's right, yes. Yeah. God, I had to really sort of explain why it was important to support my life and come up and see me in Newcastle. There was an amazing bit where you pulled them up onto the stage during the rehearsal and made them sit in mine and your seats while all the videos played,
Starting point is 00:22:15 and they looked absolutely baffled. Baffled and bored. Baffled and bored, the Stuart and Christine story. On radio, Ofcom rules state that the C word is not even the worst word it's motherfucker
Starting point is 00:22:28 so oh really that's interesting yeah yeah I think you might have told me that before what about this this is an email from Sean
Starting point is 00:22:35 who says hi guys listened since the first show and I've never bothered to email you before but I must say since the lockdown status across the world
Starting point is 00:22:44 your show has absolutely blossomed. As you often say, this show is based on the input of the listeners and what better time to get people's input when they're sat at home doing fuck all. Keep up the good work, fellas. Stay safe, Sean. Now, I detect a hint of sarcasm in that, and that's why I've included it. A little bit, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:00 That's all email says. Actually, any content in there? No, no content, just that I would never usually email, but now I'm emailing because I've got nothing else to do. Yeah, and so Sean is not even attempting to improve the output.
Starting point is 00:23:13 It's just observing the shit, what he perceives to be the shitness of the output and commenting on it. Yeah, fair do. Thank you for your, whatever the hell that was. That was, yeah. I've got another email here from Alex.
Starting point is 00:23:26 And regular listeners and hopefully you, Pete, may remember Alex. He is the man who received a tarantula in error due to a translation problem. Right. I'm not really all fair with that one. I must admit my memory is what it was. I think I'm right in saying, and it may well even be revealed in the email, I can't actually remember
Starting point is 00:23:46 until I read it, that both in China and his friend tried to send him a bag of like fake tarantulas or something like that, but got the translation of the product wrong because I guess it was in Mandarin
Starting point is 00:23:59 and ended up sending him a real tarantula, which he then had to change, keep to be a pet for the class that he was teaching. Right, okay. So he says, hi guys, I thought I'd drop you a line and give you a little update on Little John the Tarantula.
Starting point is 00:24:12 So it's an update, Pete, so you should just at least pretend you remember. Okay, oh yes, oh. Because, listen to this, right, from Alex. Listen to this. It molted its exoskeleton for the first time today. Oh, cool. Eat it.
Starting point is 00:24:31 And he attached a picture of it. Like soft-shelled crab. In the end, the kids in my class here in Zhuangzhou wanted to keep the little guy in our classroom, so I upgraded his tank and he settled in nicely. He says, it might be a girl. I'll be able to check the sex here uh by of tarantula by looking uh closely at the recently molted exoskeleton which i plan to do it's a shame we're still not back to school yet as it would have been an amazing thing for the kids to see firsthand nevertheless i was able to
Starting point is 00:24:58 show them all pictures of john the tarantula on our lives lessons via a video call and they were all thrilled i hope everyone in the uk is staying safe and not panicking too much. We're on about eight weeks of social distancing and closures here in China, but aspects of normality are coming back. Remember to think of those. Think of yourself and those around you. Wash your hands regularly. Stay home when you can, and crack open those TV box sets.
Starting point is 00:25:22 As the Chinese say to give support, and crack open those TV box sets. As the Chinese say to give support, which apparently means add oil in English. With love from Alex, Year 3, and Little John the Tarantula. I will try, remember, to share the pictures of the official tarantula of the Luke and Pete shows, exoskeleton, on our social media at Luke and Pete Show. Yeah, I mean, he is very much providing great advice,
Starting point is 00:25:47 wash your hands, don't touch your face, et cetera, while at the same time. Looking like he's very much venturing down the path of starting some kind of exotic pet festival, which did start this crisis. Let's be very clear on that one. Yeah, he says in the PS to the email. Pete, he says in the email,
Starting point is 00:26:03 PS, I'm now off to the wet market. Right, okay, cool. Ed Carver has got in touch. Ed Carver. Hi, guys, big fan of the show. In light of the lockdown, I've come across Tony Blackburn's YouTube channel. It's a brilliantly Partridge-ian mix
Starting point is 00:26:18 of ridiculous fitness guides and ways to pass the time in lockdown. This is my latest favorite vid, but honestly, they are crackers. Basically, this is a video of Tony Blackburn, who is a lovely cracker. Can you explain to our internationalists who he is, though?
Starting point is 00:26:32 Ooh. Would you say he is like a Mr... He's like a lovely older gentleman who's very cheesy, but no one seems to mind. He didn't get Utreed either. Important to state. Didn't get Utreed. He used to do a lot of jokes at public functions.
Starting point is 00:26:53 Still didn't get, still didn't get. Haven't been Utreed. Haven't been Utreed. Make a very serious matter. He's a bit of a comfortable older presence in the media landscape. He used to be like a kind of young... He's a cheesy radio DJ from the 70s. Yeah, who used to be cool on the pirate airwaves.
Starting point is 00:27:13 Did he used to be cool though? I think everyone on Radio Caroline and the ones on the boats and stuff were pretty cool, weren't they? I think he's kind of cool to people who think Cliff Richard was cool, right? Yeah, yeah, I'd take that. He's definitely in the same pot as Cliff Richard, bless him. But on lockdown, he's in his big back garden and he's just brought a chair outside
Starting point is 00:27:35 and he's just doing burpees, but just sitting down. And he said, I'll probably get through about 250 of these every day. The camera just starts and he's going, 249, 250. Yeah. He only does three in the video, but very, very enjoyable. Worth checking out, Mr. Tony Blackburn.
Starting point is 00:27:54 I'm trying to think of an American parallel, but I just can't think of one right now. Pete, I think you secretly don't like Tony Blackburn. And do you want me to tell you why? Why? Because Tony has been on his whole career old-fashioned radio money. Yes, yes. He will never have... Hence the
Starting point is 00:28:12 Big Back Garden. He will not have dipped below any kind of... He'll have one of those old-school agents as well. Darling, you have to pay Tony a thousand pounds a show. That's the way it works. Yeah. If you want his gravitas. What's he doing now, Tony?
Starting point is 00:28:28 Is he on the radio still? He was. He used to do a show in the same building as Absolute, the one that John Cena was spotted leaving back in the day in 2018. Around about that time, there used to be a security camera system in every studio. I mean, just for legal purposes, you'd imagine, doing what the radio used to get up to.
Starting point is 00:28:50 But I used to go up to the engineering floor and just watch all the camera feeds and watch Tony Blackburn broadcasting. Hang on. You're going to have to repeat that. There's a camera in every studio that got installed for whatever reason. I think it's merely when people tip coffee all over the desk and then pretend it wasn't them.
Starting point is 00:29:14 Pete, isn't this just a plot of the 1993 erotic thriller film Sliver? Yes, it very much is. You're the two very much the William Baldwin character or the Tom Berringer character. Exactly. I'm the one watching everything or the Tom Berringer character. Exactly. I'm the one watching everything that's going on in the hotel. Why did they have cameras in the hotel? I can't remember now.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Because of a pervert. Was it UB40 did the theme tune for it, I think? Did they? Did they? Did the licensed song? Yeah, I think so. I was reading that Howard Shore did the music for it. Well, they did the tie-in song, title song. Yeah, I think so. I was reading that Howard Shore did the music for it. Well, they did like the tie-in song,
Starting point is 00:29:48 like, you know, title. They used to see that a lot more in the 80s and the 90s. You'd have a movie and then you'd have, you know, Ine Camorze doing a song. Oh, no, it is apparently, yeah, apparently the music from the motion picture from the 1993 film Sliver. I Can't Help falling in love.
Starting point is 00:30:05 Yeah, but it also had Unfinished Sympathy by Massive Attack on it. Oh Carolina by Shaggy. Oh, jump across to my video booth. Yeah, a bit of... More impungous. A bit of Verve on there as well. So it was a mixed bag. A mixed bag.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Lovely little sound. Carry on. Let's cut back to the flashback of you sat in an engineering office perving on everyone on the cameras. No, I was perving specifically on Tony Blackburn because when else are you ever going to watch Tony Blackburn do his thing when he's just not on air being filmed? And what was he doing?
Starting point is 00:30:39 Was it like Midmorning Masters? He was just on his iPad for ages. Was he? Tony Blackburn's iPad. That was just on his iPad for ages. Was he? Tony Blackburn's iPad. That's the title. Any danger of a hot orange? No, no. That hot orange story.
Starting point is 00:30:54 I believe less and less every time I think about it. No, I have to believe it. I've got nothing else if I don't believe that. It has to be done. All right, Pete, let's wrap it up there. What we'll do on Thursday, I've got a few tweets from people. I want to read those out. And I've got a couple of other emails as well.
Starting point is 00:31:12 There's an email we've got about a listener who almost died from a ruptured spleen. And I don't know why I'm asking you this, but I will anyway. Can you remember if we've done that one or not? Because normally I'm very diligent on the emails we've done, the ones we haven't. But I cannot remember this one. It it rings a bell but i may just have read it so maybe just read it anyway we'll see how we go we give fair warning to people who are going to complain about it we're going to read that one on thursday if we've done it before just think of it as bonus content it's all free anyway so don't worry about it and you've got
Starting point is 00:31:39 nothing else to do so taking another you know it's nice to have another look, a second opinion if you will. Yeah, if you like it, why not revisit it again? Like a water park. Alright, cool. We're back on Thursday. Thank you very much for listening. Thanks very much for supporting us through this as well. Do spread the word. This is the perfect lockdown podcast because we never leave the
Starting point is 00:31:59 bloody house anyway, so it doesn't make a difference to us. We'll see you on Thursday. Stay safe, wash your hands, and we'll be back in touch soon bye this was a staccato production

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