The Luke and Pete Show - The humble pumpkin
Episode Date: April 20, 2020This episode features pumpkins, cradle snatching, a violent medieval ball game and a discussion about what constitutes a real ale.Also on today’s show, Luke’s got news on the return of the ‘last... cruise ship on Earth’ and Pete’s received a DM about borrowmydoggy.com. It’s another big week for the Luke and Pete Show!Get in touch with your lockdown strategies at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, we’d love to hear from you! Pete’s gone even more mad, so he needs all the lockdown survival tips he can get. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or your preferred podcast provider. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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It's the Luke and Pete Shaw Age Sex Location.
Does anybody want to do some cyber sex?
We're back for some Monday afternoon slash evening fun.
How are you doing, Luke Moor?
39, male, London.
38, male, London.
Whoa, let's get it on.
Yeah, I mean, technically you would be,
what do you call it when you steal, crib stealing?
No, when you sleep with someone much younger than you.
Cradle snatcher.
Cradle snatching.
That's old school.
Quite uncomfortable imagery really, isn't it?
Yeah, I don't think it's fair to say that I'll be cradle snatching you
when we literally are in the same school year.
Sugar daddy.
Listen, if you're hoping for me to buy you stuff,
then you have not been looking at the economic climate recently.
What's been going on?
To be honest, I decided I needed, instead of prepping for this show,
I decided I would use my time more effectively
and go to sleep for half an hour.
I woke up at the exact time in which we were supposed to start the show,
so therefore I'm a little bit discombobulated.
But I'll get through it.
I'll get through it.
You just sent me an amazing video of Tim Robinson,
the celebrated SNL writer and sketch artist
who I have a severe love affair with, as do you.
Yeah, not reciprocated.
Should we point that out?
No, no.
He doesn't know who we are.
But his sketch show, I think you should leave with Tim Robinson
if you've never watched it.
My God, what are you doing with your life,
especially under lockdown?
Or his TV show Detroiters, two seasons on Amazon.
You can buy that.
And, yeah, he's brilliant.
And he was caught on Fox News along with a load of free
let my people go kind of protesters protesting the lockdown
in Michigan, I think.
And he was somehow caught on camera by a Fox News camera
and he starts ranting about how he wants to buy Halloween stuff.
It's a great vid.
Oh, I love him.
It's a great vid.
Pete, when people, and they do ask me this all the time,
if ever I get stopped in the street
or approached on social media asking questions about stuff
or have to do like an interview to a university student
or whatever it may be,
invariably at some point they will say to me ah and what's pete donson like right now i'm just going to point them to this episode of the luke and pete show say play that from the start
and there's a bit in there where pete says when he was supposed to be preparing for the show he
went to sleep instead that's what pete donson's. Leave it to that. Yeah, but my internal podcast body clock woke me up at the exact second
in which the podcast was supposed to start.
So I could have just run in and just got started because I am a goddamn pro.
I'd actually set my alarm for two hours earlier.
The internal podcast body clock is one of the products you can buy
off from Alex Jones's website.
Yeah, exactly, along with a lot of creatine powder.
Swallow it down and you'll have an
internal body clock, which means you'll never be
late for a podcast ever again.
A lot of my food is starting to
resemble, even though I have lost a bit
of body weight thanks to having
to cook for myself and not having Pret-a-Manger do it
for me, I have found
that I am
eating more creatively strange food. There's a lot of Tommy. I have found that I am eating
more creatively
strange food. There's a lot of
just throwing rice wine vinegar into it
just to
excite the taste buds
because what I'm actually cooking isn't all
that good. But look, it's
working for me. I'm not dead and
I'm losing weight. I had a brilliant situation
the other day in this house
where i went to the cupboard because i fancied something a little bit sweet fancy treating
myself uh and i said and there was nothing in there so i said to mimi i said mimi there's no
sweet treats in the cupboard maybe you should bake my sweet treats as a joke i said maybe you should
bake something um right and she did she actually did she baked an amazing
choc chip and pumpkin kind of loaf which i have been snacking on ever since baby boy
so you've got like the um you seized the means of production there yeah you've married a wife
who can cook yeah you say that but i mean i i haven't seized any means of production. I am buffeted about by the winds of occasional production
that I sometimes get to be a benefactor of.
But it doesn't happen very often.
Normally, I just get a laugh right out of town.
So an ideal situation would be a wife that constantly bakes
this chocolate chip pumpkin loaf.
Pumpkin's an interesting ingredient yeah so so basically in the u.s they do a brilliant um line in canned i think sweetened
pumpkins it's like mashed up pumpkin put in a can and so when you when you taste like pumpkin
flavored stuff in the u.s normally around autumn time because they're big on that and it's normally
this stuff that you get like that it's not it's not i don't as far as i know it's not like fresh
pumpkin that people put it's not straight pumpkin it's like canned stuff but it tastes absolutely
delicious you know like when modern science and technology and people are going to get sniffy
about this but modern science and technology says that thing there i.e in this case a pumpkin
what would happen if we took it and
pumped loads of like stuff into it to make it taste even better let's try that yes it's amazing
brilliant it's probably quite bad for you but thank you yeah they have perfected the certainly
the uh american sort of tin goods they've certainly perfected uh helping the flavors
along let's say um with cornstarch.
Pete, where does the humble pumpkin sit
in the pantheon of vegetables for you?
Rarely get involved, to be honest.
Yeah, same.
I think the last time I consciously ate pumpkin
was about seven years ago in New York
where I thought I'm going to get a pumpkin pie
because it was around about, was it around Christmas?
I think it might have been around Christmas.
Yeah, I bought some pumpkin pie and it was very nice.
But that was the last time I,
I'm sure I've consumed pumpkin since,
but I just can't remember ever sort of going,
ooh, pumpkin, let's have a bit
of that what would be top of your vegetable list um i like asparagus because you get a little
reminder about five hours later yeah sometimes even quicker than that i like asparagus as well
but the funny thing about asparagus is that um i remember so my we would look after my niece
our niece sometimes.
And,
um,
and she's lovely and four and she's cute and all that kind of good stuff.
Um,
and nine times out of 10,
you'll say to her,
when you say to her,
what do you want for dinner?
She'll,
she'll say pizza,
sausages,
or ice cream,
right?
That's basically what she likes.
But sometimes she will send like a serious answer that,
you know,
you can actually,
she might just say a proper dinner. you know you can actually so she might just
say a proper dinner and once she actually said asparagus and i was thinking i don't even know
if i knew what asparagus was until i moved to london at the age of about 23 no yeah we never
had asparagus or anything like that uh in in our house it was peas yeah it's just the only green
things we ever ate were peas the only yellow
things we ever ate sweet corn maybe a fried egg yeah that's about it i remember my dad's mate when
i was a kid um we sometimes if you went to the um the greasy spoon cafe my dad's mate used to get a
fried egg and he used to eat all the white bit i can't remember the technical term for that is it
albumen i can't remember i don't know the white Is it albumen? Can't remember. I don't know. The white bit around the yolk.
So there'd just be like a single fried egg yolk left on the plate.
And he would cover every visible surface on that yolk with cracked black pepper
or that kind of cheap powdery white pepper you get,
whatever pepper is available.
He'd cover every visible surface in it,
and then we just eat it in one.
I mean, it's not a bad technique, but eating all of the...
I mean, the yellow bit is the best bit, isn't it, of an egg?
Especially with the fried egg.
It's quite tasteless, the white, whatever it is, the stamen.
It's kind of a supplementary ingredient
to go in the mouthful with other
stuff, isn't it? Yeah.
Why don't we just have
fancy places? Why don't they just separate
the yorks and just give us
like fried yorks?
Do people not do that? Is that not a thing to do?
Wastage.
No, they can make a meringue.
A big old meringue out of the wastage.
Oh, what's with the fried breakfast?
Sausage, bacon, egg, beans, toast and a meringue. A big old meringue out of the white stuff. Oh, what's with the fried breakfast? Sausage, bacon, egg, beans, toast, and a meringue.
Oh, lately Americans wouldn't think about doing that.
Come on now.
Yeah, but they don't do fry-ups, do they?
Yeah, they do.
They do steak.
I had breakfast, yes, last Saturday,
and it is a miracle that I am losing weight.
I had like a steak breakfast.
I made myself a steak breakfast.
Steak and eggs?
Yeah, steak and eggs.
It was lovely.
What are the key ingredients for you for a fry-up?
There just has to be some level of black pudding and hash brown.
I mean, it has to be exotic.
You can't have you just stand.
And sausage, not asked for bacon, to be honest.
Oh, really?
Sausage, black pudding, and the hash brown has to be involved.
Fair enough.
How is lockdown treating you however many weeks in we are, Pete?
Are you getting any outside time?
I know you've got no garden.
You've got the churchyard at the back of your house.
How are you coping?
What have been your main coping mechanisms in the last week?
Well, I've noticed that the police have started popping in
and telling people off when they're lying down and sunbathing
in the churchyard.
And I always manage to escape their grasp.
I mean, there were some policemen stopping some people
from sunbathing last week, and'd popped out and i had a little
sit down for five minutes and i took a pic i'd bought a big bottle of tisky like you know the
polish lager i bought a big bottle of tisky and i was sending a picture of that me and that big
bottle of tisky to a friend um and the police had just missed my um polish lager photo shoot by mere seconds uh when they walked in and told some
sunbathers off whereas i had uh yeah a polish lager based photo shoot going on for quite some
time before that so uh yeah keep your heads on guys you know maybe consider start running drones
around london it's taken a worldwide pandemic for you to finally make that final step into
sat outside on the corner drinking Polish lager.
Yeah, well I wasn't drinking
it, I was just taking pictures of the
full bottle.
Did you take it back after that?
I've not been, yeah, I don't know this one.
I've not been drinking
a whole, I didn't drink
for about three weeks and I think that's
got more to do with my weight loss than anything else.
But last couple of weekends, I've polished off a bottle of gin.
Oh, really?
Gin and diet Fanta.
My goodness me.
The Pete Donaldson story.
What do you call that cocktail?
The problem.
Just the problem.
The problem and the solution. i'd like to hear from our
listeners about lockdown strategies coping mechanisms what are they on cocktails yeah
yeah lockdown cocktails absolutely because we are here very much as a companion piece
to people's lockdown life we just jump on the mics talk a little bit of crap for a while
read out some stories from other people which for me are my favorite bit so people should get in touch hello at lukeandpete show.com let us know your
lockdown strategies your coping mechanisms your little things that um sam from the office would
call hacks what's your little hack for this what's your little hack for that yeah that's what i want
to know about and speaking on um on the old uh sunbathing uh topic, I saw our neighbor yesterday
across the other side of the street
and he had been out walking with his daughter.
She'd be about 11 or 12 or whatever.
And he's got another daughter,
I think eight or nine.
Excuse me.
And they said that,
he said that they've got the same size flat as us.
It's quite small,
but obviously it's twice the amount of people living there.
So they said they walked to the park
to get a bit of exercise because the kids were going crazy and they started um throwing a ball around
between the four of them mum dad two daughters and um this uh lady came over started shouting
and screaming at them swearing at them telling them they shouldn't be doing it to such an extent
that she was so aggressive she made both his daughters cry and uh he had to almost physically
chase her off and i was like i was thinking that's not really in the spirit of it is it i mean it was
over at stratum common which is quite near i live which is absolutely massive he's a good stand-up
guy i guarantee you he was just hanging out of his family having a little walk well yeah and
they're clearly a family it's not yeah like... Yeah, exactly. Clearly share a household. Yeah, so I just thought that was really
poor. Not in the spirit of what we're trying to do at all.
I would have leapt on the
woman and rubbed the ball in her face.
Peter!
That's against protocol. You cannot put
any of your balls in people's faces.
I'd love to
boot a football around, though. I've not done it
for ages. It just feels right.
What I'm missing is,
so like last night,
I had a little album listening session
with some of my friends.
We set up a Zoom call.
We decide on the album through the week
and then at some point
we listen to it together.
And we did it last night
and I've been looking forward to it
for a few days.
And I had everything ready.
I cracked open a can of Estrella,
ice cold can of Estrella,
in a nice beer glass,
and listened to the record with a beer on the go.
And it was amazing.
It was really nice.
It was relaxing,
and it was all the good stuff.
But I just couldn't get out of my mind
the idea that it still wasn't as nice
as being in a pub.
Nice pub, beer garden, or whatever.
And imagine how many times I go out
compared to you
because you're a bit of a home bird
oh you're always out aren't you
imagine how I'm feeling
yeah
I'm always socialising mate
but yeah
imagine
how I'm feeling
so you know
you know
I was just going to say
you know you
I mean we always joke that
you're running away
from your problems right
have they caught up with you now
no I've I've barricaded my door they have to keep their distance running away from your problems, right? Have they caught up with you now?
No, I've barricaded my door.
They have to keep their distance.
They have to keep their distance, yeah.
The only person I've seen that I knew,
I walked past a bloke outside the posh whiskey shop on my street who were inexplicably still open.
And he went, you all right?
I went, you all right? I went, you all right?
And I was like, oh, God,
you're the first person I've spoken to in ages.
It's a shame, isn't it?
It is a real shame.
It's a shame.
And I still didn't go in and buy any whiskey.
Even though I've run out of booze.
And our downstairs neighbours have gone to the country,
they're in the countryside for,
they've been there for a month now.
And we've got a key to their flat because um
because i mean we obviously we know each other and we look out for each other and if they go away
we check on their house and stuff and they come to feed our cats sometimes and i was i was i have
to be honest with you and i'm pretty sure ed and lauren don't listen to this show so i can say this
um i was down there yesterday because they asked me to check on something and get their get their
post for them which i did and i actually thought to myself, you know what?
I could move in there.
Mimi could stay upstairs.
I'll stay downstairs.
And then I realized I don't think they've got the full Sky package.
So I thought, no, I can't do that.
Well, you stay in that house and Mimi can have the next door.
Yeah.
Love her job.
Yeah, I'll suggest that to her later.
I think that's fair.
I think that she can do all the banana, not banana bread, it's called chocolate and pumpkin cooking. Yeah, I'll suggest that to her later. I think that's fair. She can do all the
banana, not banana, chocolate and
pumpkin cooking.
You can't be tantalised with the smell
until it's actually eatable.
It's a perfect situation.
I
had a situation, I think I
spoke about borrowmydoggy.com
on last week's
Pete Show and somebody actually DMed me on Instagram going you can borrow my dog if you want, I think I spoke about borrowmydoggy.com on last week's Luton Pete show.
And somebody actually DMed me on Instagram going,
you can borrow my dog if you want, but I'm in Hackney.
And I was like, I love that.
It's like sliding in the DMs, borrow my doggy.
What would that dog think to hear its owner saying that?
Look, dogs like everyone you know they all say just be be the person that your dog thinks you are yeah but it's irresponsible ownership isn't it
why i'm brilliant i'm more like a dog than a human i'm very instinctual i would say um laura
woods who i chatted to on um instagram live uh the other week she's got a good dog yeah she was
actually that's the funny story about that
is she's living on her own, right?
So she knew she would get lonely
after the lockdown.
So her family,
before they knew it was happening,
as they found out
it was going to be happening,
her family just gave her
the family dog.
Oh, come on.
So the family dog
leaves her heard now
so she's got a bit of companionship.
That's lovely.
Yeah.
Very enjoyable. Very nice indeed. Listen, Pete, let's take a quick break from this inane rambling. doglies i've heard now since you've got a bit of companionship that's lovely yeah very enjoyable
very nice indeed um listen pete let's take a quick break from this uh inane rambling so when
we come back the other side we'll do some emails we've got some good ones all right then
and we're back on the luke and pete show how the devil are you i hope that uh advert break
was full of information and good language and simile and metaphor.
Oh, you should buy this.
Before we do the emails, there's one story that I forgot to bring.
And I think it might be out of date by the next show.
So I want to do it now.
Did you read that the last cruise ship on Earth, as it's been known,
is finally docked back in marseille in europe
oh right okay so it managed to get because there was so many of them adrift is the one that's full
of corona still off because because isn't there one that's still docked on near i want to say
yamagata which is basically moored off the coast of Japan
and they wouldn't let them on.
They must have by now,
if that cruise ship has finally docked.
I'm not sure if it's the same one,
but what I do know is that
it last disembarked in Wellington, New Zealand
and it sailed all the way back to Marseille
without stopping,
without being able to go anywhere
now obviously on cruises what normally happens is they go to a new port every couple of days and
experience new places but they've not been on land since for six weeks so how long it took to
get over there well it left it left europe i think in january and it and it was absolutely miles away
when lockdown started to happen.
So they've been all over it, all over the place.
I mean, how fast can big old liners go now?
I mean, they must be able to go a fair lick, you know,
from the Far East to here in about four days, five days, do you reckon?
Yeah, I'm not really sure.
I mean, the only sort of exception to that is I think it was able to refuel.
I don't even know if it was able to refuel anywhere.
So I don't know how it got fuel.
I don't know how much fuel it had.
Aren't they nuclear now?
I really don't know how transits work.
They always seem like really bad ideas where everyone,
and I mean everyone, gets botulism or Legionnaire's disease.
I think once one person gets ill on a cruise ship,
it can be pretty problematic.
Imagine being the one doctor on that cruise ship, though,
because they'll have a doctor on there, won't they?
There was no sign of COVID at all,
but there was a really interesting interview with the former secretary of the navy in the us on the podcast i listened to last week and he was talking about what happened
with that uh aircraft carrier and the captain yeah the um he was fired and the rest of it
and and their nuclear they're definitely nuclear power because he was talking about how they have to have a certain amount of
people to guard the nuclear reactor and stuff.
So they're definitely nuclear powered.
Yeah, it's
an exciting story that him
getting chanted off by his sailors
who he was just trying to safeguard
and then the guy
who is, because all of Trump's
appointees are like acting,
they're like acting in charge
because he doesn't want to go through the process of actually having to vet their experience.
But also means they get more money.
Yeah, probably.
Yeah, I know.
It's a mad story.
It's a really interesting story.
Anyway, let me go to emails because I've got one that I'd like to start with, which I didn't
read out.
I didn't read out last
time it's from damien who wants to talk about beer lovely he says howdy chaps and these most testing
of times it is important to remember all your pleasant pub memories and when and when this
clears up you'll never take the pub for granted again one thing that's always fascinated me about
the great british pub is the hand pumped gloopy room temperature stuff that gets spewed out in three or four uneven measures.
Of course, I speak of real ale, a stalwart of the UK pub landscape.
But what's piqued my curiosity about this elixir is not just the range in selection.
Every pub seems to have a completely different set of real ale taps,
but how utterly grim and appalling they can occasionally be.
Some beers go down and stay down fairly easily,
while others are point blank undrinkable.
My brother and I had to abandon the pint that we deemed too grisly
as we made our way to Pride Park to see Derby v Middlesbrough last season.
Fear of turning your podcast into a wanky beer review,
I'd like your recommendation on the better bitters
and which ones to avoid at all costs but they must be pumped real ale in pubs not in bottles
stay safe out there damien now pete the reason i bring this to our attention is because
you are famously a fizzy lager drinker only when it comes to beer have you ever got tucked into any
kind of gloopy real ale before?
My ex's parents used to have a pub and Doom Bar used to be very popular.
So I've had a Doom Bar every now and again.
But to be fair, I will flirt with a light IPA as the night goes on,
if my heartburn is playing up. So I will occasionally switch because it's just easier for orders
because most of my friends drink IPAs.
And you can't always get a big, strong 5% Stella. I will occasionally switch because it's just easier for orders because most of my friends drink IPAs.
You can't always get a big, strong 5% Stella.
I don't think Damien would consider IPA to be a real ale, though, I don't think.
Yeah, I don't really know where it all ends and where it all starts. But I will say that I did spend Saturday night watching Beer 52,
one of our sponsors, or one of our ex-sponsors uh i mean feel free to
come back get in touch get in touch come on still got all your um shirts freshly ironed they deliver
they deliver booze you've got we've got a uh we've got a fridge full of booze at the office i might
visit reload yeah um yeah they uh they did like a virtual kind of beer festival
where they just had like loads of little inserts from punters,
from brewers, from people who own breweries
and brew their own booze and stuff.
And at times it was a difficult production, let's say,
with rapidly different or radically different
microphone levels and stuff like that.
Don't slag them off.
Stay with it.
I did stay with them for a...
Well, they're not sponsors now.
Look, I'll stop slagging off
your mic levels
if you come back on board.
Yeah, and it was like,
it was just really interesting.
But they had stand-ups as well.
They interspersed all of the interviews about the hoppy ales and i don't know beer um uh with stand-ups um weirdly
one of the stand-ups used to be like one of our work experience at xfm i was like liam i know you
and and uh yeah he's all right uh yeah, they're all really good. It was a weird little kind of, you know me,
I'm not a real ill head like pretty much all of my friends are.
And it was just a little,
it was quite an interesting little insight into their world.
But, I mean, when the older female stand-up rocked up
and did her five-minute set drinking a glass of red wine,
oh, she got some abuse on the comments.
Oh, sure.
They don't have red wine drinkers.
They were just shouting at her.
What did you say?
What did I say?
I wasn't getting involved.
I've got no – they'd know I was only a lager drinker.
They'd laugh me out of town.
That's true.
Your reputation would precede you.
I think Damon's talking about the proper kind of sticks and leaves in the
bottom pints that you get in my so where when i grew up there was obviously a load of pubs around
but sometimes you'd venture a bit further afield outside of the town into the country and there'd
be those country pubs um and they would serve some proper specialist ales and it's become quite
trendy in some parts of london now hasn't it so you get like
different things like
stouts and I remember
a pub up in the pub called
the Earl of Essex up in Islington selling like chocolate
chocolate stout and birthday
cake stout and all this kind of interesting
stuff not for me thank you
very much not for Pete Donaldson either
I did have a licorice stout
in Finland quite recently they love licorice stout in um finland uh quite
recently they love licorice in scandinavia don't they drinkable for the first five minutes and then
then it was abhorrent uh what have you got there mate uh i've got an email from daniel johnson the
most violent of ball games hi look pete your chat about weird games slash events that have been
cancelled due to coronavirus has got me thinking about one I became aware of last year. Whilst this
hasn't been cancelled due to the virus, I thought it would be well within your interests.
Last September, I moved into a village slash town called Atherston to complete my one year
placement from university. It's a relatively small place with not a lot going on, but it was
okay for a year. When I started, I was warned about the Atherston Ball game,
which happened on show of Tuesday every year.
All I was told initially was don't go outside on this day.
Naturally, this prompted me to ask more questions
on what was going to happen.
What I then discovered was that the game is just a huge fight
between any person outside in the village,
all competing to have the giant ball at the end of the two-hour game slot.
This quickly became horrific as people have been seriously injured and even died from the game
apparently it's a tradition that's uh extended for hundreds of years but from what i could gather
it was an excuse for middle-aged men to hit each other without consequence the only way it affected
me was to increase my journey home on this day from 15 minutes to over an hour i've attached a
link to a youtube footage of the game for you to enjoy. Cheers, Dan.
It's worth seeking out, but it is just pathetic.
It is just pathetic.
So I've seen – I've got a little bit of insight into this because –
so this one particularly that our emailer, whose name escapes me,
who was Dan, who dan emailed about
specifically is dreadful is it i mean like the most recent years it's been taken over by a load
of horrible the worst kind of kind of big boys yeah brexiteer type football hooligan to basically
just have an excuse to have a big fight but there's a few of these different matches that happen
all over little towns in um in the uk and there's one in ashbourne
in derbyshire uh called the royal shrove tide football match which has been going since um
at least the middle 12th century and where the whole village is taken over and used as almost
like a football pitch and there's different rules that are involved and they use this massive ball
um to play um between them i think i think that's where the phrase Derby comes from
because it's played between these two towns in Derbyshire
and it has been for hundreds of years.
But the reason I'm saying this is because I guested on the Hawksby and Jacobs show.
You know Paul Hawksby? He's great.
And he's got a friend who participates in this Royal Shrove Tide football match every year.
Now, of course, it goes
on all day, right? So,
what we were doing in the show that I guest hosted on
is he was just calling
them up on his mobile phone
and he was going, yeah, I'm in the
middle of the scrum now and we've just been
dragged through a river and the
ball looks like it's with so-and-so
but we're hopeful to get it back. I mean,
I'll check back in with you in an hour. In like an hour time and call him again yeah we're just outside a tesco and and it
was it was absolutely insane what was going on but that that's a much more good-natured one the one
that dan and talks about which as far as i know might have well have been banned by now and it's
descended into straight fighting but this uh shrove time one is is it looks it looks really
really fun what's it what's that one that's in uh is it italy where it's like a soccer match but
um it's it's like handball i think and uh and it's just basically ufc like 10 on 10 ufc yeah
do you remember it was a video that went around it's called it's played in florence isn't it
calcio storico fiorentino i think it's called it's played in florence isn't it calcio
storico fiorentino i think it's called yeah but it's like a combination of wrestling and fighting
and stuff yeah and there's a ball and you've got to score a goal but it's um but the difference is
in that situation is uh all of the italian men are beautiful and rugged and I would like to have sex with every last one of them.
That's hot.
I mean, that is hot.
But when you see like a bloke hanging off someone's bare windows with a,
with a,
with a split open eye,
go on shouting,
I'm going to get you right on you.
The Hackett,
the Hackett polo shirt.
Yeah.
And a Hackett polo shirt.
This is not as much romance as they there really with a big beer belly.
I think that historic
Florence game
you're talking about,
I mean,
it is the most
homoerotic sport
you can think of.
And it's taken that crown
from UFC,
which is the gayest sport ever.
What, UFC?
Yeah.
What, two oiled up men
in little pants?
Like their
pants are so
small.
They're just so
small.
I don't know
why the pants
have to be so
small.
That's all I'm
saying.
Why do the
pants have to,
well, surely
you're not
allowed to
grab them.
I don't know.
I'm happy for
them to wear
whatever they
want.
I'm happy for
it to be
home and
I've got no
problem with it.
So you should
wear like a
three-piece suit or
joggers. That would be great.
It should be like they should all dress in
Marvel superhero costumes.
Well, I mean, if
what's-his-name wants to fly all
of the UFC guys to a private island,
Dana White or whatever his name is,
why doesn't he
put them all in PPE, protective clothing
and fight like that?
That's a good point.
All I will say is cocaine is a hell of a drug.
All right.
That's about all we've got time for this time around.
Let's come back on Thursday and chat some more lockdown nonsense.
Peter, what have you got planned for the rest of the day?
Me and you are going to be recording something with our friends at IGN,
and then I'll probably have another sleep, to be honest.
Enjoy it, mate. Cherish it.
Cherish it. Not me. I'll sleep when I'm dead.
I might go and play The Witcher 3 Wild Hunt on my Switch.
How are you getting on with that?
Yeah, it's complicated, isn't it?
Two problems, mate.
Sorry, but listen.
Do you know what, actually?
I'll talk about it on Thursday's show
because I've got a couple of issues with it
which you might
want to help me with
okie dokie
bye bye everyone
this has been the
looking pitch show
we're back on Thursday