The Luke and Pete Show - The humble pumpkin

Episode Date: April 20, 2020

This episode features pumpkins, cradle snatching, a violent medieval ball game and a discussion about what constitutes a real ale.Also on today’s show, Luke’s got news on the return of the ‘last... cruise ship on Earth’ and Pete’s received a DM about borrowmydoggy.com. It’s another big week for the Luke and Pete Show!Get in touch with your lockdown strategies at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, we’d love to hear from you! Pete’s gone even more mad, so he needs all the lockdown survival tips he can get. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or your preferred podcast provider. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Own each step with Peloton. From their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes, led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. It's the Luke and Pete Shaw Age Sex Location. Does anybody want to do some cyber sex? We're back for some Monday afternoon slash evening fun. How are you doing, Luke Moor? 39, male, London. 38, male, London.
Starting point is 00:00:58 Whoa, let's get it on. Yeah, I mean, technically you would be, what do you call it when you steal, crib stealing? No, when you sleep with someone much younger than you. Cradle snatcher. Cradle snatching. That's old school. Quite uncomfortable imagery really, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:01:17 Yeah, I don't think it's fair to say that I'll be cradle snatching you when we literally are in the same school year. Sugar daddy. Listen, if you're hoping for me to buy you stuff, then you have not been looking at the economic climate recently. What's been going on? To be honest, I decided I needed, instead of prepping for this show, I decided I would use my time more effectively
Starting point is 00:01:41 and go to sleep for half an hour. I woke up at the exact time in which we were supposed to start the show, so therefore I'm a little bit discombobulated. But I'll get through it. I'll get through it. You just sent me an amazing video of Tim Robinson, the celebrated SNL writer and sketch artist who I have a severe love affair with, as do you.
Starting point is 00:02:07 Yeah, not reciprocated. Should we point that out? No, no. He doesn't know who we are. But his sketch show, I think you should leave with Tim Robinson if you've never watched it. My God, what are you doing with your life, especially under lockdown?
Starting point is 00:02:20 Or his TV show Detroiters, two seasons on Amazon. You can buy that. And, yeah, he's brilliant. And he was caught on Fox News along with a load of free let my people go kind of protesters protesting the lockdown in Michigan, I think. And he was somehow caught on camera by a Fox News camera and he starts ranting about how he wants to buy Halloween stuff.
Starting point is 00:02:48 It's a great vid. Oh, I love him. It's a great vid. Pete, when people, and they do ask me this all the time, if ever I get stopped in the street or approached on social media asking questions about stuff or have to do like an interview to a university student or whatever it may be,
Starting point is 00:03:10 invariably at some point they will say to me ah and what's pete donson like right now i'm just going to point them to this episode of the luke and pete show say play that from the start and there's a bit in there where pete says when he was supposed to be preparing for the show he went to sleep instead that's what pete donson's. Leave it to that. Yeah, but my internal podcast body clock woke me up at the exact second in which the podcast was supposed to start. So I could have just run in and just got started because I am a goddamn pro. I'd actually set my alarm for two hours earlier. The internal podcast body clock is one of the products you can buy off from Alex Jones's website.
Starting point is 00:03:43 Yeah, exactly, along with a lot of creatine powder. Swallow it down and you'll have an internal body clock, which means you'll never be late for a podcast ever again. A lot of my food is starting to resemble, even though I have lost a bit of body weight thanks to having to cook for myself and not having Pret-a-Manger do it
Starting point is 00:03:59 for me, I have found that I am eating more creatively strange food. There's a lot of Tommy. I have found that I am eating more creatively strange food. There's a lot of just throwing rice wine vinegar into it just to excite the taste buds
Starting point is 00:04:15 because what I'm actually cooking isn't all that good. But look, it's working for me. I'm not dead and I'm losing weight. I had a brilliant situation the other day in this house where i went to the cupboard because i fancied something a little bit sweet fancy treating myself uh and i said and there was nothing in there so i said to mimi i said mimi there's no sweet treats in the cupboard maybe you should bake my sweet treats as a joke i said maybe you should
Starting point is 00:04:40 bake something um right and she did she actually did she baked an amazing choc chip and pumpkin kind of loaf which i have been snacking on ever since baby boy so you've got like the um you seized the means of production there yeah you've married a wife who can cook yeah you say that but i mean i i haven't seized any means of production. I am buffeted about by the winds of occasional production that I sometimes get to be a benefactor of. But it doesn't happen very often. Normally, I just get a laugh right out of town. So an ideal situation would be a wife that constantly bakes
Starting point is 00:05:21 this chocolate chip pumpkin loaf. Pumpkin's an interesting ingredient yeah so so basically in the u.s they do a brilliant um line in canned i think sweetened pumpkins it's like mashed up pumpkin put in a can and so when you when you taste like pumpkin flavored stuff in the u.s normally around autumn time because they're big on that and it's normally this stuff that you get like that it's not it's not i don't as far as i know it's not like fresh pumpkin that people put it's not straight pumpkin it's like canned stuff but it tastes absolutely delicious you know like when modern science and technology and people are going to get sniffy about this but modern science and technology says that thing there i.e in this case a pumpkin
Starting point is 00:06:03 what would happen if we took it and pumped loads of like stuff into it to make it taste even better let's try that yes it's amazing brilliant it's probably quite bad for you but thank you yeah they have perfected the certainly the uh american sort of tin goods they've certainly perfected uh helping the flavors along let's say um with cornstarch. Pete, where does the humble pumpkin sit in the pantheon of vegetables for you? Rarely get involved, to be honest.
Starting point is 00:06:37 Yeah, same. I think the last time I consciously ate pumpkin was about seven years ago in New York where I thought I'm going to get a pumpkin pie because it was around about, was it around Christmas? I think it might have been around Christmas. Yeah, I bought some pumpkin pie and it was very nice. But that was the last time I,
Starting point is 00:06:58 I'm sure I've consumed pumpkin since, but I just can't remember ever sort of going, ooh, pumpkin, let's have a bit of that what would be top of your vegetable list um i like asparagus because you get a little reminder about five hours later yeah sometimes even quicker than that i like asparagus as well but the funny thing about asparagus is that um i remember so my we would look after my niece our niece sometimes. And,
Starting point is 00:07:25 um, and she's lovely and four and she's cute and all that kind of good stuff. Um, and nine times out of 10, you'll say to her, when you say to her, what do you want for dinner? She'll,
Starting point is 00:07:35 she'll say pizza, sausages, or ice cream, right? That's basically what she likes. But sometimes she will send like a serious answer that, you know, you can actually,
Starting point is 00:07:44 she might just say a proper dinner. you know you can actually so she might just say a proper dinner and once she actually said asparagus and i was thinking i don't even know if i knew what asparagus was until i moved to london at the age of about 23 no yeah we never had asparagus or anything like that uh in in our house it was peas yeah it's just the only green things we ever ate were peas the only yellow things we ever ate sweet corn maybe a fried egg yeah that's about it i remember my dad's mate when i was a kid um we sometimes if you went to the um the greasy spoon cafe my dad's mate used to get a fried egg and he used to eat all the white bit i can't remember the technical term for that is it
Starting point is 00:08:21 albumen i can't remember i don't know the white Is it albumen? Can't remember. I don't know. The white bit around the yolk. So there'd just be like a single fried egg yolk left on the plate. And he would cover every visible surface on that yolk with cracked black pepper or that kind of cheap powdery white pepper you get, whatever pepper is available. He'd cover every visible surface in it, and then we just eat it in one. I mean, it's not a bad technique, but eating all of the...
Starting point is 00:08:53 I mean, the yellow bit is the best bit, isn't it, of an egg? Especially with the fried egg. It's quite tasteless, the white, whatever it is, the stamen. It's kind of a supplementary ingredient to go in the mouthful with other stuff, isn't it? Yeah. Why don't we just have fancy places? Why don't they just separate
Starting point is 00:09:11 the yorks and just give us like fried yorks? Do people not do that? Is that not a thing to do? Wastage. No, they can make a meringue. A big old meringue out of the wastage. Oh, what's with the fried breakfast? Sausage, bacon, egg, beans, toast and a meringue. A big old meringue out of the white stuff. Oh, what's with the fried breakfast? Sausage, bacon, egg, beans, toast, and a meringue.
Starting point is 00:09:28 Oh, lately Americans wouldn't think about doing that. Come on now. Yeah, but they don't do fry-ups, do they? Yeah, they do. They do steak. I had breakfast, yes, last Saturday, and it is a miracle that I am losing weight. I had like a steak breakfast.
Starting point is 00:09:45 I made myself a steak breakfast. Steak and eggs? Yeah, steak and eggs. It was lovely. What are the key ingredients for you for a fry-up? There just has to be some level of black pudding and hash brown. I mean, it has to be exotic. You can't have you just stand.
Starting point is 00:10:01 And sausage, not asked for bacon, to be honest. Oh, really? Sausage, black pudding, and the hash brown has to be involved. Fair enough. How is lockdown treating you however many weeks in we are, Pete? Are you getting any outside time? I know you've got no garden. You've got the churchyard at the back of your house.
Starting point is 00:10:18 How are you coping? What have been your main coping mechanisms in the last week? Well, I've noticed that the police have started popping in and telling people off when they're lying down and sunbathing in the churchyard. And I always manage to escape their grasp. I mean, there were some policemen stopping some people from sunbathing last week, and'd popped out and i had a little
Starting point is 00:10:46 sit down for five minutes and i took a pic i'd bought a big bottle of tisky like you know the polish lager i bought a big bottle of tisky and i was sending a picture of that me and that big bottle of tisky to a friend um and the police had just missed my um polish lager photo shoot by mere seconds uh when they walked in and told some sunbathers off whereas i had uh yeah a polish lager based photo shoot going on for quite some time before that so uh yeah keep your heads on guys you know maybe consider start running drones around london it's taken a worldwide pandemic for you to finally make that final step into sat outside on the corner drinking Polish lager. Yeah, well I wasn't drinking
Starting point is 00:11:29 it, I was just taking pictures of the full bottle. Did you take it back after that? I've not been, yeah, I don't know this one. I've not been drinking a whole, I didn't drink for about three weeks and I think that's got more to do with my weight loss than anything else.
Starting point is 00:11:47 But last couple of weekends, I've polished off a bottle of gin. Oh, really? Gin and diet Fanta. My goodness me. The Pete Donaldson story. What do you call that cocktail? The problem. Just the problem.
Starting point is 00:12:04 The problem and the solution. i'd like to hear from our listeners about lockdown strategies coping mechanisms what are they on cocktails yeah yeah lockdown cocktails absolutely because we are here very much as a companion piece to people's lockdown life we just jump on the mics talk a little bit of crap for a while read out some stories from other people which for me are my favorite bit so people should get in touch hello at lukeandpete show.com let us know your lockdown strategies your coping mechanisms your little things that um sam from the office would call hacks what's your little hack for this what's your little hack for that yeah that's what i want to know about and speaking on um on the old uh sunbathing uh topic, I saw our neighbor yesterday
Starting point is 00:12:45 across the other side of the street and he had been out walking with his daughter. She'd be about 11 or 12 or whatever. And he's got another daughter, I think eight or nine. Excuse me. And they said that, he said that they've got the same size flat as us.
Starting point is 00:12:59 It's quite small, but obviously it's twice the amount of people living there. So they said they walked to the park to get a bit of exercise because the kids were going crazy and they started um throwing a ball around between the four of them mum dad two daughters and um this uh lady came over started shouting and screaming at them swearing at them telling them they shouldn't be doing it to such an extent that she was so aggressive she made both his daughters cry and uh he had to almost physically chase her off and i was like i was thinking that's not really in the spirit of it is it i mean it was
Starting point is 00:13:31 over at stratum common which is quite near i live which is absolutely massive he's a good stand-up guy i guarantee you he was just hanging out of his family having a little walk well yeah and they're clearly a family it's not yeah like... Yeah, exactly. Clearly share a household. Yeah, so I just thought that was really poor. Not in the spirit of what we're trying to do at all. I would have leapt on the woman and rubbed the ball in her face. Peter! That's against protocol. You cannot put
Starting point is 00:13:55 any of your balls in people's faces. I'd love to boot a football around, though. I've not done it for ages. It just feels right. What I'm missing is, so like last night, I had a little album listening session with some of my friends.
Starting point is 00:14:10 We set up a Zoom call. We decide on the album through the week and then at some point we listen to it together. And we did it last night and I've been looking forward to it for a few days. And I had everything ready.
Starting point is 00:14:22 I cracked open a can of Estrella, ice cold can of Estrella, in a nice beer glass, and listened to the record with a beer on the go. And it was amazing. It was really nice. It was relaxing, and it was all the good stuff.
Starting point is 00:14:33 But I just couldn't get out of my mind the idea that it still wasn't as nice as being in a pub. Nice pub, beer garden, or whatever. And imagine how many times I go out compared to you because you're a bit of a home bird oh you're always out aren't you
Starting point is 00:14:47 imagine how I'm feeling yeah I'm always socialising mate but yeah imagine how I'm feeling so you know you know
Starting point is 00:14:54 I was just going to say you know you I mean we always joke that you're running away from your problems right have they caught up with you now no I've I've barricaded my door they have to keep their distance running away from your problems, right? Have they caught up with you now? No, I've barricaded my door.
Starting point is 00:15:09 They have to keep their distance. They have to keep their distance, yeah. The only person I've seen that I knew, I walked past a bloke outside the posh whiskey shop on my street who were inexplicably still open. And he went, you all right? I went, you all right? I went, you all right? And I was like, oh, God, you're the first person I've spoken to in ages.
Starting point is 00:15:30 It's a shame, isn't it? It is a real shame. It's a shame. And I still didn't go in and buy any whiskey. Even though I've run out of booze. And our downstairs neighbours have gone to the country, they're in the countryside for, they've been there for a month now.
Starting point is 00:15:42 And we've got a key to their flat because um because i mean we obviously we know each other and we look out for each other and if they go away we check on their house and stuff and they come to feed our cats sometimes and i was i was i have to be honest with you and i'm pretty sure ed and lauren don't listen to this show so i can say this um i was down there yesterday because they asked me to check on something and get their get their post for them which i did and i actually thought to myself, you know what? I could move in there. Mimi could stay upstairs.
Starting point is 00:16:09 I'll stay downstairs. And then I realized I don't think they've got the full Sky package. So I thought, no, I can't do that. Well, you stay in that house and Mimi can have the next door. Yeah. Love her job. Yeah, I'll suggest that to her later. I think that's fair.
Starting point is 00:16:23 I think that she can do all the banana, not banana bread, it's called chocolate and pumpkin cooking. Yeah, I'll suggest that to her later. I think that's fair. She can do all the banana, not banana, chocolate and pumpkin cooking. You can't be tantalised with the smell until it's actually eatable. It's a perfect situation. I had a situation, I think I
Starting point is 00:16:40 spoke about borrowmydoggy.com on last week's Pete Show and somebody actually DMed me on Instagram going you can borrow my dog if you want, I think I spoke about borrowmydoggy.com on last week's Luton Pete show. And somebody actually DMed me on Instagram going, you can borrow my dog if you want, but I'm in Hackney. And I was like, I love that. It's like sliding in the DMs, borrow my doggy. What would that dog think to hear its owner saying that?
Starting point is 00:17:07 Look, dogs like everyone you know they all say just be be the person that your dog thinks you are yeah but it's irresponsible ownership isn't it why i'm brilliant i'm more like a dog than a human i'm very instinctual i would say um laura woods who i chatted to on um instagram live uh the other week she's got a good dog yeah she was actually that's the funny story about that is she's living on her own, right? So she knew she would get lonely after the lockdown. So her family,
Starting point is 00:17:32 before they knew it was happening, as they found out it was going to be happening, her family just gave her the family dog. Oh, come on. So the family dog leaves her heard now
Starting point is 00:17:40 so she's got a bit of companionship. That's lovely. Yeah. Very enjoyable. Very nice indeed. Listen, Pete, let's take a quick break from this inane rambling. doglies i've heard now since you've got a bit of companionship that's lovely yeah very enjoyable very nice indeed um listen pete let's take a quick break from this uh inane rambling so when we come back the other side we'll do some emails we've got some good ones all right then and we're back on the luke and pete show how the devil are you i hope that uh advert break was full of information and good language and simile and metaphor.
Starting point is 00:18:08 Oh, you should buy this. Before we do the emails, there's one story that I forgot to bring. And I think it might be out of date by the next show. So I want to do it now. Did you read that the last cruise ship on Earth, as it's been known, is finally docked back in marseille in europe oh right okay so it managed to get because there was so many of them adrift is the one that's full of corona still off because because isn't there one that's still docked on near i want to say
Starting point is 00:18:42 yamagata which is basically moored off the coast of Japan and they wouldn't let them on. They must have by now, if that cruise ship has finally docked. I'm not sure if it's the same one, but what I do know is that it last disembarked in Wellington, New Zealand and it sailed all the way back to Marseille
Starting point is 00:19:03 without stopping, without being able to go anywhere now obviously on cruises what normally happens is they go to a new port every couple of days and experience new places but they've not been on land since for six weeks so how long it took to get over there well it left it left europe i think in january and it and it was absolutely miles away when lockdown started to happen. So they've been all over it, all over the place. I mean, how fast can big old liners go now?
Starting point is 00:19:37 I mean, they must be able to go a fair lick, you know, from the Far East to here in about four days, five days, do you reckon? Yeah, I'm not really sure. I mean, the only sort of exception to that is I think it was able to refuel. I don't even know if it was able to refuel anywhere. So I don't know how it got fuel. I don't know how much fuel it had. Aren't they nuclear now?
Starting point is 00:20:02 I really don't know how transits work. They always seem like really bad ideas where everyone, and I mean everyone, gets botulism or Legionnaire's disease. I think once one person gets ill on a cruise ship, it can be pretty problematic. Imagine being the one doctor on that cruise ship, though, because they'll have a doctor on there, won't they? There was no sign of COVID at all,
Starting point is 00:20:29 but there was a really interesting interview with the former secretary of the navy in the us on the podcast i listened to last week and he was talking about what happened with that uh aircraft carrier and the captain yeah the um he was fired and the rest of it and and their nuclear they're definitely nuclear power because he was talking about how they have to have a certain amount of people to guard the nuclear reactor and stuff. So they're definitely nuclear powered. Yeah, it's an exciting story that him getting chanted off by his sailors
Starting point is 00:20:56 who he was just trying to safeguard and then the guy who is, because all of Trump's appointees are like acting, they're like acting in charge because he doesn't want to go through the process of actually having to vet their experience. But also means they get more money. Yeah, probably.
Starting point is 00:21:14 Yeah, I know. It's a mad story. It's a really interesting story. Anyway, let me go to emails because I've got one that I'd like to start with, which I didn't read out. I didn't read out last time it's from damien who wants to talk about beer lovely he says howdy chaps and these most testing of times it is important to remember all your pleasant pub memories and when and when this
Starting point is 00:21:37 clears up you'll never take the pub for granted again one thing that's always fascinated me about the great british pub is the hand pumped gloopy room temperature stuff that gets spewed out in three or four uneven measures. Of course, I speak of real ale, a stalwart of the UK pub landscape. But what's piqued my curiosity about this elixir is not just the range in selection. Every pub seems to have a completely different set of real ale taps, but how utterly grim and appalling they can occasionally be. Some beers go down and stay down fairly easily, while others are point blank undrinkable.
Starting point is 00:22:11 My brother and I had to abandon the pint that we deemed too grisly as we made our way to Pride Park to see Derby v Middlesbrough last season. Fear of turning your podcast into a wanky beer review, I'd like your recommendation on the better bitters and which ones to avoid at all costs but they must be pumped real ale in pubs not in bottles stay safe out there damien now pete the reason i bring this to our attention is because you are famously a fizzy lager drinker only when it comes to beer have you ever got tucked into any kind of gloopy real ale before?
Starting point is 00:22:49 My ex's parents used to have a pub and Doom Bar used to be very popular. So I've had a Doom Bar every now and again. But to be fair, I will flirt with a light IPA as the night goes on, if my heartburn is playing up. So I will occasionally switch because it's just easier for orders because most of my friends drink IPAs. And you can't always get a big, strong 5% Stella. I will occasionally switch because it's just easier for orders because most of my friends drink IPAs. You can't always get a big, strong 5% Stella. I don't think Damien would consider IPA to be a real ale, though, I don't think.
Starting point is 00:23:15 Yeah, I don't really know where it all ends and where it all starts. But I will say that I did spend Saturday night watching Beer 52, one of our sponsors, or one of our ex-sponsors uh i mean feel free to come back get in touch get in touch come on still got all your um shirts freshly ironed they deliver they deliver booze you've got we've got a uh we've got a fridge full of booze at the office i might visit reload yeah um yeah they uh they did like a virtual kind of beer festival where they just had like loads of little inserts from punters, from brewers, from people who own breweries and brew their own booze and stuff.
Starting point is 00:23:57 And at times it was a difficult production, let's say, with rapidly different or radically different microphone levels and stuff like that. Don't slag them off. Stay with it. I did stay with them for a... Well, they're not sponsors now. Look, I'll stop slagging off
Starting point is 00:24:14 your mic levels if you come back on board. Yeah, and it was like, it was just really interesting. But they had stand-ups as well. They interspersed all of the interviews about the hoppy ales and i don't know beer um uh with stand-ups um weirdly one of the stand-ups used to be like one of our work experience at xfm i was like liam i know you and and uh yeah he's all right uh yeah, they're all really good. It was a weird little kind of, you know me,
Starting point is 00:24:46 I'm not a real ill head like pretty much all of my friends are. And it was just a little, it was quite an interesting little insight into their world. But, I mean, when the older female stand-up rocked up and did her five-minute set drinking a glass of red wine, oh, she got some abuse on the comments. Oh, sure. They don't have red wine drinkers.
Starting point is 00:25:08 They were just shouting at her. What did you say? What did I say? I wasn't getting involved. I've got no – they'd know I was only a lager drinker. They'd laugh me out of town. That's true. Your reputation would precede you.
Starting point is 00:25:21 I think Damon's talking about the proper kind of sticks and leaves in the bottom pints that you get in my so where when i grew up there was obviously a load of pubs around but sometimes you'd venture a bit further afield outside of the town into the country and there'd be those country pubs um and they would serve some proper specialist ales and it's become quite trendy in some parts of london now hasn't it so you get like different things like stouts and I remember a pub up in the pub called
Starting point is 00:25:52 the Earl of Essex up in Islington selling like chocolate chocolate stout and birthday cake stout and all this kind of interesting stuff not for me thank you very much not for Pete Donaldson either I did have a licorice stout in Finland quite recently they love licorice stout in um finland uh quite recently they love licorice in scandinavia don't they drinkable for the first five minutes and then
Starting point is 00:26:10 then it was abhorrent uh what have you got there mate uh i've got an email from daniel johnson the most violent of ball games hi look pete your chat about weird games slash events that have been cancelled due to coronavirus has got me thinking about one I became aware of last year. Whilst this hasn't been cancelled due to the virus, I thought it would be well within your interests. Last September, I moved into a village slash town called Atherston to complete my one year placement from university. It's a relatively small place with not a lot going on, but it was okay for a year. When I started, I was warned about the Atherston Ball game, which happened on show of Tuesday every year.
Starting point is 00:26:47 All I was told initially was don't go outside on this day. Naturally, this prompted me to ask more questions on what was going to happen. What I then discovered was that the game is just a huge fight between any person outside in the village, all competing to have the giant ball at the end of the two-hour game slot. This quickly became horrific as people have been seriously injured and even died from the game apparently it's a tradition that's uh extended for hundreds of years but from what i could gather
Starting point is 00:27:14 it was an excuse for middle-aged men to hit each other without consequence the only way it affected me was to increase my journey home on this day from 15 minutes to over an hour i've attached a link to a youtube footage of the game for you to enjoy. Cheers, Dan. It's worth seeking out, but it is just pathetic. It is just pathetic. So I've seen – I've got a little bit of insight into this because – so this one particularly that our emailer, whose name escapes me, who was Dan, who dan emailed about
Starting point is 00:27:45 specifically is dreadful is it i mean like the most recent years it's been taken over by a load of horrible the worst kind of kind of big boys yeah brexiteer type football hooligan to basically just have an excuse to have a big fight but there's a few of these different matches that happen all over little towns in um in the uk and there's one in ashbourne in derbyshire uh called the royal shrove tide football match which has been going since um at least the middle 12th century and where the whole village is taken over and used as almost like a football pitch and there's different rules that are involved and they use this massive ball um to play um between them i think i think that's where the phrase Derby comes from
Starting point is 00:28:27 because it's played between these two towns in Derbyshire and it has been for hundreds of years. But the reason I'm saying this is because I guested on the Hawksby and Jacobs show. You know Paul Hawksby? He's great. And he's got a friend who participates in this Royal Shrove Tide football match every year. Now, of course, it goes on all day, right? So, what we were doing in the show that I guest hosted on
Starting point is 00:28:50 is he was just calling them up on his mobile phone and he was going, yeah, I'm in the middle of the scrum now and we've just been dragged through a river and the ball looks like it's with so-and-so but we're hopeful to get it back. I mean, I'll check back in with you in an hour. In like an hour time and call him again yeah we're just outside a tesco and and it
Starting point is 00:29:10 was it was absolutely insane what was going on but that that's a much more good-natured one the one that dan and talks about which as far as i know might have well have been banned by now and it's descended into straight fighting but this uh shrove time one is is it looks it looks really really fun what's it what's that one that's in uh is it italy where it's like a soccer match but um it's it's like handball i think and uh and it's just basically ufc like 10 on 10 ufc yeah do you remember it was a video that went around it's called it's played in florence isn't it calcio storico fiorentino i think it's called it's played in florence isn't it calcio storico fiorentino i think it's called yeah but it's like a combination of wrestling and fighting
Starting point is 00:29:50 and stuff yeah and there's a ball and you've got to score a goal but it's um but the difference is in that situation is uh all of the italian men are beautiful and rugged and I would like to have sex with every last one of them. That's hot. I mean, that is hot. But when you see like a bloke hanging off someone's bare windows with a, with a, with a split open eye, go on shouting,
Starting point is 00:30:16 I'm going to get you right on you. The Hackett, the Hackett polo shirt. Yeah. And a Hackett polo shirt. This is not as much romance as they there really with a big beer belly. I think that historic Florence game
Starting point is 00:30:29 you're talking about, I mean, it is the most homoerotic sport you can think of. And it's taken that crown from UFC, which is the gayest sport ever.
Starting point is 00:30:41 What, UFC? Yeah. What, two oiled up men in little pants? Like their pants are so small. They're just so
Starting point is 00:30:51 small. I don't know why the pants have to be so small. That's all I'm saying. Why do the
Starting point is 00:30:54 pants have to, well, surely you're not allowed to grab them. I don't know. I'm happy for them to wear
Starting point is 00:30:59 whatever they want. I'm happy for it to be home and I've got no problem with it. So you should
Starting point is 00:31:03 wear like a three-piece suit or joggers. That would be great. It should be like they should all dress in Marvel superhero costumes. Well, I mean, if what's-his-name wants to fly all of the UFC guys to a private island,
Starting point is 00:31:18 Dana White or whatever his name is, why doesn't he put them all in PPE, protective clothing and fight like that? That's a good point. All I will say is cocaine is a hell of a drug. All right. That's about all we've got time for this time around.
Starting point is 00:31:33 Let's come back on Thursday and chat some more lockdown nonsense. Peter, what have you got planned for the rest of the day? Me and you are going to be recording something with our friends at IGN, and then I'll probably have another sleep, to be honest. Enjoy it, mate. Cherish it. Cherish it. Not me. I'll sleep when I'm dead. I might go and play The Witcher 3 Wild Hunt on my Switch. How are you getting on with that?
Starting point is 00:31:54 Yeah, it's complicated, isn't it? Two problems, mate. Sorry, but listen. Do you know what, actually? I'll talk about it on Thursday's show because I've got a couple of issues with it which you might want to help me with
Starting point is 00:32:05 okie dokie bye bye everyone this has been the looking pitch show we're back on Thursday

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