The Luke and Pete Show - The partner I "sometimes" have access to

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

Today, we've got a very special episode for you! Pete is joined by the partner he has access to, and she is answering your questions, giving us special firsthand insight into what it's like to live wi...th Diggory Donaldson.Sarah tells us all about their romantic fishing trip, to the supermarket. She also provides us with more information on Pete's stomach issues and amazingly tells possibly the most explicit story we have ever heard on the show.Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 I don't like you being in my office You're looking at me and then suddenly you look at an item behind me Like you're going to tell me off or whatever it is We'll come to that It's the Luke and Pete show, I'm Pete Donaldson Luke isn't here at the moment, so you can have a couple of shows from, I'm going to say, waifs and strays.
Starting point is 00:00:29 People from my life, people from your life, people from the Stat Universe. And this time round, we've got the partner I have access to. It's Sarah Jane Champion. She lives in my house. She shouts at me. Her name is Sarah Champion. it's not 24 hour access
Starting point is 00:00:47 sometimes access is denied sorry what do you say about access the partner you have access to oh yeah i know well it's it's a rare treat actually to have someone on the show that actually listens to the show i do listen to the show you do listen to the show uh what's your favorite bit oh um the bit where you said the thing yeah the bit the bit where i say something that um battery chat weaponize and shout at me oh yeah well always always always that whenever i come in the room i hear my my cackling little voice i go uh-oh i'm in trouble i'm heading for the high jump and sarah's heard something she didn't necessarily like about the things I do in my life.
Starting point is 00:01:26 That happens rarely. It does happen rarely. I don't tell you off much. You don't tell me off much. I think you pick your battles with me, to be quite frank. Yeah. But thank you for joining us. Thank you for filling a Luke-shaped hole.
Starting point is 00:01:38 You're almost as tall. How are you? Are you okay? I feel like you're a bit nervous. I'm rightly so. I'm a bit nervous and I'm a bit stressed about squeezing you in. If we are using any of this video for socials... I beg your pardon?
Starting point is 00:01:52 If we are using any of this for socials, medias, Rory, we'll be putting clips up. But to be honest, there's just not enough room in this room. Because basically, we're down the cabin on the end of the garden, the apology cabin, as it's more commonly known on the Little Peach Show. And I am very much... I've kind of carved out a little corner of it for my little studio. And this is where I usually do the Little Peach Show from. Your sordid little activities.
Starting point is 00:02:20 I don't want to know what goes on in this room. I don't have blinds up, so let's make that very clear. Whatever I get up to, everyone can see. Well, I thought you might be more nervous that this would be, you know, a proper peek behind the curtain. A roast. A peek behind the Peter curtain. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:35 The Peter curtain. No, I don't mind. I mean, is there anything that I've done that you've not heard on this show, Sarah? I don't mind as he breaks into a sweat. No, that's true. No. There's not a single thing. There's only a couple of things I can think of genuinely
Starting point is 00:02:50 that didn't end up on the Nook of Pitches. Even when I nearly died, an activity you were privy to, busy taking pictures of dogs as I met my watery end. And even that, I was like, I'm not going to talk about on there because that was too harrowing. Give it a couple of days.
Starting point is 00:03:10 I need content, Sarah. I need to say it on the Luca Pete show because I got nothing left. I got nothing else apart from my real life. Real life, real Donaldson, as I call it. I mean, I don't think you need to make anything up, do you? No. Not from your life.
Starting point is 00:03:24 I mean, Rory did put a load of questions out on Twitter and on Instagram. Basically, I'm soliciting what listeners to The Looking Picture Show might want to know from you, a person who lives in my house and I live in their house. Our house. Our house. Our house. It's our house. This should be a regular thing because we all know how popular these husband and wife podcasts are.
Starting point is 00:03:48 They have a bit of a scrap. They have a bit of a scrap. They have a bit of a whine at each other. Cha-ching. Let's sell it for five million to Spotify. I'm in. Good. All right.
Starting point is 00:04:00 Yeah. First things first. Thank you for coming on the show. You're welcome. Second things second, we do have some questions from people online who want to know a couple of things about you, about me. Sam has come in with best and worst meal Pete has ever cooked for you. That's a start for ten.
Starting point is 00:04:20 Okay, best meal. You do a good fish pie. Right, okay. In fact, I remember very early on when we were courting. Courting. I thought, what we need is the house to smell a fish. Well, I remember going on a sort of romantic fishing trip. A romantic fishing trip. A romantic fishing trip.
Starting point is 00:04:38 A romantic kind of, well, yeah, a fishing trip to buy the ingredients. That's not a fishing trip. That's shopping. But you, yeah, so we kind of went around this little supermarket. I shouldn't have brought a net. I'm in Iceland with some cod loins and a net. And, yeah, shopping for, I don't know, prawns and whatever else, those bits. And then we went back to your house and you made a fish pie. Cooked up a storm.
Starting point is 00:05:05 And I remember it being delicious yeah i mean the secret of fish pies you just you boil the fish in milk and uh you add a lot of mustard uh but the secret ingredient is just cover it in lots of cheese yeah that and that's always going to work for me always going to work for me however oh well what's on the worst side of the ledger, Sarah? I mean, nothing awful, but do you remember that morning you were making what I thought was French toast? Right, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:34 So I came downstairs to the sort of delicious aroma of what I thought was French toast. But what you'd actually done was got the remnants of last night's pizza and made it into French toast. Italian French toast.
Starting point is 00:05:51 So it was this sort of just monstrous looking kind of lump of... Congealed cheese, bread and syrup. It was very greasy. It was very greasy, yeah. Very greasy. I mean, there's a lot of bread. Bread does soak up the oil, so to speak. It wasn't the French toast I was expecting.
Starting point is 00:06:09 What is French toast? Eggy bread, isn't it? It's a posh word for eggy bread. Yeah, but you need syrup on it. That's French toast, isn't it? You can't just have eggy bread. Icing sugar quite often as well, isn't it? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:21 And it's got really thick bread. I don't think it's last night's pepperoni pizza no generally covered in egg eggy pizza I think look
Starting point is 00:06:31 out of all the things I've cooked and out of all the the problem with me is I do I do have a crack at I'll do a normal meal
Starting point is 00:06:39 and then I'll add a pete twist on it and I shouldn't really add a pete twist because I I remember sort of growing up and I would look on the back of like a packet of custard.
Starting point is 00:06:48 I loved custard. And it would say ingredients. What's in custard? Egg, milk, flour. And I'd sort of go, right, since you've run out of custard and I've just got the can, I'll just make my own. And so I'd just get flour, egg, milk and mix it together. Not really knowing how it all goes together, how it emulsifies, how you make egg, milk and mix it together not really knowing how it all goes together
Starting point is 00:07:06 how it emulsifies, how you make it, how you mix it I think you've made a cake there haven't you? I don't know what I made but I tried drinking it and it weren't fucking custard Why do you don't like cake? I finally got to the bottom of why you don't like cake Because I tried to make custard Turned right at dessert avenue
Starting point is 00:07:23 The thing is and also what I would say is and regular listeners to the Lickin' Pete show will know that your stomach is of its own kind of you have a very
Starting point is 00:07:33 weak constitution I'm not sure we need the word weak but it comes to what you can put into your stomach I can put loads of stuff
Starting point is 00:07:40 into it but it's what happens when it gets there isn't it we can all get in the nightclub but you know if I start doing my wild dancing, people are going to get upset. Your listeners won't have been privy to... My listeners.
Starting point is 00:07:52 Imagine if they thought of themselves as our listeners. Like, they're free to leave at any time. They won't have been privy to the exorcism noises that I have heard emanating... From? From our bathroom. From our bathroom, yeah. Yeah. But it's like, in the same way that as I've grown older,
Starting point is 00:08:13 I've acquired a dad sneeze. It's very loud. My vomiting has got louder as it gets older. I think you're trying to be productive with it. It's kind of get it all out at once, but it's just a cacophony. It's not. People are sort of very polite with their pukes. I'm like, oh.
Starting point is 00:08:31 It's awful. There's a Barry White down there. I'm surprised we still have sour cream in the house. This is X. Sour cream's the thing that always kills me. Sarah always. Sarah always. Sarah is. I mean, Sarah always... Sarah... Sarah's...
Starting point is 00:08:47 I mean, I'll say this for Sarah. It's very... Not loose, but, like, doesn't... Like... Very loose with... Not dates, but just, like... Sarah is very loose with dates. Keeping, like, raw chicken.
Starting point is 00:09:04 You'll just leave it out oh i see and i'm like if that's out for one minute i will you will see the end of me and i think that's why i will hear the end of you that's the problem yeah you'll smell the end of me all of those things um so yeah so and i can't handle it i can't handle sour cream being outside of a specially designed radioactive container for one minute. And yet you still eat it, though, which is the problem. Because it's delicious. And you will have last night's Chinese reheated for breakfast. But I will nuke that until it's really dry and brittle.
Starting point is 00:09:38 It's like the elephant's foot in Chernobyl that we always talk about. Right, what's the next question? Sarah, do you want to read one out? The weirdest thing Pete's brought home. From Megan. From Megan. Hi, Megan. So like a car boot sale thing?
Starting point is 00:09:53 Oh, I don't know. Could it be like a cat or a fox or something? I don't know. Weirdest thing I brought home. Have you brought home a cat or a fox? Never you mind. You stay out of that bathroom. So just looking at the shelf behind Pete's at the moment.
Starting point is 00:10:07 Don't use the shelf behind me because these are the things, these are my trinkets, these are my bits and bobs. I'm not a fan of the Toby jug that you brought home from a car boot sale. It looks like a kind of, yeah, it's very unflattering. Look at, oh. It's got something in it. It's the stuff nightmares are made of. It's got a USB key in it
Starting point is 00:10:25 it's got a kind of Donald Trump-esque melted face on it I need that USB key I needed one earlier in the week if this is massive
Starting point is 00:10:33 I'm going to be fuming because I was running around trying to find a USB key it's 16 gigabytes Sarah I'm fuming I only needed four so there's that I turned the whole house
Starting point is 00:10:42 upside down looking for memory and then there was that kind I turned the whole house upside down looking for memory. And then there was that kind of haunted doll that you brought back from a car boot sale as well. Haunted doll? I don't know what that is. Oh, there it is. Oh, there it is, yeah. Little weird Is he like an action man
Starting point is 00:10:57 from the 50s with some weird I mean, that is disgusting. He's not being... The thing about form from like the the 50s and the 60s it was kind of like a weird it's quite a lot of bum detail and like
Starting point is 00:11:11 an uncomfortable amount of very muscular he's my bum he's my bum model he's the bum I hope to get on there and didn't you say the man was genuinely like
Starting point is 00:11:19 a bit upset that you were yeah it's a piece of shit piece of shit action man that has not been looked after. I mean, if you want that form to last the test of time, apparently you need to rub conditioner into it.
Starting point is 00:11:33 If you've got a boglin, I always talk about the boglins. If you've got an original boglin from the 80s, you need to rub hair conditioner into it to keep it alive. So there you go. How do you know that? Because I've been looking at
Starting point is 00:11:46 getting a boggling, getting an 80s boggling. It would be right at home here. Because there's new ones and they're all like different colours and they look crap, but I want an original 80s, everyone's had their hand up it,
Starting point is 00:11:58 Woolworths special. Well, I look forward to that addition to the house. It's getting increasingly, because we've got two dogs, it's very hard to hide that the postman's been. And so if I ever buy anything that I think Sarah's not going to approve of, it's very hard to hide.
Starting point is 00:12:16 I mean, that's really the tip of the iceberg. That was just me looking directly behind to see what was sat behind Pete. Lazy. Failed to do show prep. James. James, what is the most unusual compliment Pete's ever paid, as in something that Pete would possibly only think is a compliment? I pay you a lot of compliments. I pay you compliments all the time.
Starting point is 00:12:33 You do. You're very sweet. The usual physical, you look nice. Please don't leave me. Yeah. Please don't leave me. I'd be terribly lonely. I think sometimes, I don't want to. I'd be terribly lonely. I think sometimes... I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Starting point is 00:12:47 Oh, dear. But, you know, you quite often go... Your skin's so soft. That makes me sound like an absolute murderer. It is a little bit serial killer. It's a little bit like you're going to be keeping me in a basement. Your skin is astonishingly soft. And then you're going to tell me to put the lotion in the basket.
Starting point is 00:13:07 Put the lotion in the basket. Yeah. Well, look, if a man can't compliment a woman's soft skin via email or scrawled in blood on a wall, I don't want to live in that world, to be quite frank, Sarah. I don't want to live in that world to be quite frank, Sarah. I don't want to live in that world. Charlie,
Starting point is 00:13:28 how do you see Pete spending his later years? What kind of hobbies will he do? What hobbies do I do now? Car boot sales. Car boot sales. I mean,
Starting point is 00:13:35 I see you getting very into the car boot scene. Yeah, but the problem is I love the car boot scene, but I don't. I didn't tell you. What?
Starting point is 00:13:44 Yesterday. Right. I took the train. i love the car boot scene but i didn't tell you what yesterday right i took the train i saw the car boot from the train platform so on the election massive um like a wheel you'd use big wooden wheel you'd use to steer a ship what you call them a helm ship's wheel a ship's helm i think right like massive thing that'd be. That'd be a street, wouldn't it? I could roll it home. Yeah. But, like, there's always stuff
Starting point is 00:14:09 like that, and it's always reproduction. It's never actually off a ship. It's never like this has come from a ship. This has come from the chintzy shop
Starting point is 00:14:16 on Essex High Street. Because you did walk home wearing an antique diving helmet. Antique diving helmet, yeah. Yeah, you walked in the front door like that.
Starting point is 00:14:24 There was one on Antiques roadshow it was worth 200 was it 20 grand no 20 grand I don't think ours is say again I don't think ours is
Starting point is 00:14:29 no I think ours is a reproduction but yeah like I love car boots but I don't like the haggling which is so much of a car boot so I could never sell anything at the car boot
Starting point is 00:14:39 because people would go I'll give you a quid you're the world's worst haggler I know you gave that kid a load of money and even his mum was like, what? That's too much. For a bag full of wrestling figures I've never used. I do love a car boot and I love, I just love tat.
Starting point is 00:14:58 I love other people's stuff. I think when we kind of first met and we were talking about getting older and stuff, you said you were looking forward to getting older because you wanted to wear a blazer with medals on and call yourself Major. Yeah. Is that still something you'd be keen on doing? I just think the grift isn't on there because Captain Tom fucked it. Oh, no!
Starting point is 00:15:22 That was pre-Captain Tom. Okay. And Captain Tom's family fucked the grift for me, to be quite frank. I thought, I've not heard you speak about that in a while. What about Captain Tom? How about your dream of becoming a major? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:34 But where would I get the medals from, though? Eh? Car boo. Thank you very much. Lovely. Sean, what does Sarah Champion think of Pete's car? I think we've sort of explained what my car is on the Luke and Pete show. I'm still not going to do it.
Starting point is 00:15:47 Luke knows what it is. You know what it is. Yeah, I know what it is. And I am kind of partly to blame because I happen to mention that my dream car would have been this kind of car. Right. Not the one you've got, to be fair. Not the one I've got. An older model.
Starting point is 00:16:05 That's an older model. No, but like a really really old like well i can't say that giving it away but um oh i love that you're keeping people guessing good um yeah and so then luke only knows because i sent him a picture of me speeding in it caught on a long lens and then he clearly typed in the registration plate and found out the exact model so So do people know this update that, although you have just got a new car, there is a very good chance you won't be able to drive it soon? Well, it's just a more powerful car and I may have... Big corner speed camera.
Starting point is 00:16:35 I may have been too fast, too furious. Too fast, too furious. In an arterial road out of London. Yeah. So you've already got some points coming, we think. And if you get some more, given that you've only been driving for... I get the medal.
Starting point is 00:16:47 18 months. I get the medals. No, you get a ban is what you get. I get the cool dude medal. So you won't be driving your cool dude car, that's for sure. Doesn't matter, it's covered in piss. I did this on the Ramble this morning about me covering it in AdBlue by accident. Why? I think it's why i think
Starting point is 00:17:06 it's so it's actually made i think if i i only glanced but i think it might be made of actual pig piss so like you it's not just uh you know they make like fake insulin i think they make or they make fake like chemical approximations of what they're trying to make right um this isn't it they literally collect pig piss and put it in engines i think that's the job what's a job it's imagine that's what you do for a living it's it's not something you'd put on your tinder profile is it really what do you do for work um agriculture although i was once on a pig farm wasn't i the man collecting pig cum i mean i've gone very you had so many options yeah you had so many options
Starting point is 00:17:46 well no because it filled a pint glass of right pig because he's doing a trick ejaculate right
Starting point is 00:17:53 and one go yeah that's too much because it was on a TV show called Pub Ammo on Channel 5
Starting point is 00:18:00 and it was which animal has the longest orgasm right and it's a pig right because it goes a pig right because it goes on for 15 minutes so they sent us constantly jizzing yeah they sent us to a lot of
Starting point is 00:18:12 pissing then that's why that's why they used it i guess like an artificial insemination yeah uh unit for pigs and it was a man's job to hold the pig penis, which I didn't see this going in this direction, but here we are. It's kind of like a tail. Yeah, it's like a corkscrew. Right. And he held this penis for 15 minutes while it filled up this pint glass.
Starting point is 00:18:34 Where was his eyes? Was he making eye contact with a pig? They were as far away from the camera as can be imagined because he did not want to be shown on camera. So I had to kind of comment as it was proud of you like i remember sort of going um it's difficult to describe the smell but um it stinks yeah and i right at the end um and this is this is sort of i guess biologically quite interesting um it forms a plug around the sow to keep the good stuff in.
Starting point is 00:19:05 Because there's so much of it. Yeah. And I was sort of doing okay and not feeling queasy or anything, even though it was quite an overwhelming smell on a very hot day. I think this is the worst thing we've ever talked about. Because, you know, I'm a grotty little fucker, but I can't remember. Well, now people can see why we're together.
Starting point is 00:19:23 I can't remember. Well, now people can see why we're together. I can't explain things nice. So my grot is kind of in between like a meandering sentence. This is slightly educational. But yours is disgusting. Well, yeah, so this plug ordinarily would form around the sal, but obviously it was in this pint glass. And for some reason, I don't even know why he did this, maybe for sort of slight shock effect,
Starting point is 00:19:42 but he then threw the plug into the pig pen and the pig ate it. So he's jizzing, jizzing, jizzing, and then when he gets to the end of the jizzing, it becomes thick like delicious custard? Right, and it forms a hard contact lens of jizz. Yes. Right. Is that what the show's going to be called? Right And it forms a hard Sort of contact lens of jizz Yes Right Is that what the show's
Starting point is 00:20:08 Going to be called? A contact lens of jizz That's for Rory to decide Yeah Wow Alright Let's bash through The rest of these
Starting point is 00:20:18 Then we'll hit an ad break And then we'll have time For one One email Sorry Absolutely foul Absolutely foul Right What have we got left? Best and worst tattoo? I'm going to have time for one email. Sorry, sorry. Absolutely foul. Absolutely foul.
Starting point is 00:20:25 Right. Before we got left. Best and worst tattoo? Very me-focused. I mean, I guess this is what the questions were. No, it's fine. Best, I would say the Newcastle tattoo. It was a lovely, lovely bit of work. A lovely bit of work, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:40 Worst, maybe that tiki one. The tiki one. I thought you liked the tiki one. Do you know what the artist is called who did that originally? No, no, sorry. Not the tiki one. The tiki one. I thought you liked the tiki one. Do you know what the artist is called who did that originally? No, no, sorry, not the tiki one. The smoking. There's a smoking one. You've got someone smoking something.
Starting point is 00:20:53 Oh, no. Yeah, that's Manny Calavera from the video game Grim Fandango. Of course it is. It's rendered by a student, I think, in Germany. The tattoo isn't that great, I would say. No, it's terrible. Thank you. I was very hungover and I was bleeding profusely.
Starting point is 00:21:11 He could barely see what he was doing. The tiki ones love me. I take that back. I meant the other one. Thank you. It's next to it. Thank you, that's fair. Matt, how do you describe the cavern
Starting point is 00:21:19 to your friends and family? I just tell them not to go in there. Oh, that's rude. Do you like that I put the walls up? That was quite impressive for a first go, I think. That was genuinely impressive. Had it not fallen in the same week that you hammered a table to the floor,
Starting point is 00:21:37 I would have been even more impressed. I screwed a table to the floor. Yeah, you hammered a nail into the table and it went, yeah. Yeah. Because it must be difficult for you to deal with um a such talent in the home but uh be such what in the home talent um but i would say um there's nobody more ill equipped to do, but there's nobody more willing to have a go. Yes, you will give it a go.
Starting point is 00:22:07 And generally it works out well, but yeah, nailing a table to our kitchen floor was a low point, I would say. Yeah, that makes it sound like it could have been quite useful in that it wouldn't move. No, it was upside down.
Starting point is 00:22:20 It was an upside down table nailed to the kitchen floor. That's what it was. So, Jeff, does his DIY scare you? I can answer that one. She's obviously enchanted, as you can tell. Laurie says, what's the best thing about living with Pete? The best thing?
Starting point is 00:22:36 Have a sip of your coffee while you reel off 17 sentences. Oh, well, you just... You never quite know what to expect, I suppose. Okay, I'll take that. Yeah, I'd say there's never a dull moment. Never a dull moment. Good stuff. I always just think...
Starting point is 00:22:54 And you bring me a cup of tea every morning. I do bring you a cup of tea every morning. And that's a lovely thing. Even before I go to work. Even before you want one. Yeah, it's always there. But luckily, Sarah's quite rare in that she loves a cold cup of tea. I do love a cold cup of tea.
Starting point is 00:23:07 Mind you, your dinners are quite cold usually as well. Love a faff. Like, I love how similar we are when it comes to faffing. We'll just sort of stand next to something and we'll go, you've got to leave right now and we'll just be, I'll have my hand inside a computer. I'll be delivering a sow. I'll be delivering a sow. I'll be on a roof.
Starting point is 00:23:29 I've really got to get up on the roof right now, even though I'm five minutes late. All right. Ad break. We'll be back with some emails. We're back with Luke and Pete Shaw. I'm Pete Donaldson. I'm joined by Sarah Chutney.
Starting point is 00:23:43 Chutney. Sarah Chutney. Sarah Chutney. My name by Sarah Chutney Sarah Chutney Sarah Chutney My name is Sarah Chutney Why not Why not And we're going to do some emails Can you read this from here
Starting point is 00:23:53 Which one do you want to do Because I did send them Yes And I read them I like the one about the zoo The wildlife We're going to the zoo Is that one though
Starting point is 00:24:01 A zoo You can come to To To We can swing our pants. Yes, I guess this one. Pants. Pants.
Starting point is 00:24:06 All right. With the elephants. What? Hello, Luke and Pete. Sorry, carry on. Are you okay? Yeah. You sure?
Starting point is 00:24:14 I want some sour cream. Hello, Luke and Pete. I recently heard Pete talking about the regular outrage appearing in local Facebook groups about people not picking up their dog poo. This issue has raised its head in the village I live in, Hertfordshire. However, these posts took an interesting turn as we exited lockdown and will live long in the memory. Someone got so fed up with the sight of dog poo spreading
Starting point is 00:24:38 all along the local footpaths, they went around spraying it with spray paint to make a point of the ongoing problem. Unfortunately for the local community, this coincided with lots of rocks being painted in the local village by school children to show their solidarity during the pandemic for public services like the NHS. I'm sure you can see where this is going, he says. says. Facebook went into meltdown in this sleepy Hertfordshire village as there were reports of children engrossed in spotting these
Starting point is 00:25:07 painted stones and picking them up to take a closer look to discover spray-painted dog turds. Also, he says, and this is a proposition that I think we will definitely take up. Whenever I'm listening to the show, I'm always keeping an ear out for mentions of wildlife. I'm lucky
Starting point is 00:25:23 enough to be retraining as a zookeeper at the age of 38 in a midlife career change and work at a popular UK zoo. Pete made an interesting point about sloths following his trip abroad, and it's correct that studies have shown that a species of moth are indeed within the sloth's hair. They also move slowly, are often covered in a green coating, which is an algae that forms on these slow-moving mammals. As for pooing on the floor, that's also correct. And our keepers daily check the CCTV in our rainforest habitat
Starting point is 00:25:50 to make sure we don't have a constipated sloth. However, the reason they do this in the wild is still a bit of a mystery. Descending to the forest floor leaves them most vulnerable. Here's the bit I think we will be interested in. If Pete wants to come and see our gibbons at the zoo, let me know. Don't worry, Pete, I won't expect anything in return. That's a yes.
Starting point is 00:26:10 Yeah, but like... What? You love a gibbon. I do love a gibbon. And I'd love to go to the zoo. But I'm just saying, is he just offering us to go to the zoo? Because I need access to gibbons.
Starting point is 00:26:22 Well, he says I aspire... Because COVID's over now. Because remember, because you know Zooki, the siren, and he let us in with the... Did he let us in
Starting point is 00:26:28 with the Ghibbs? No, he let us in with the howler monkeys, didn't he? Yes. But then COVID came and because monkeys can get COVID,
Starting point is 00:26:33 they didn't do it anymore. Okay. Well, he says, I aspire to be the unofficial wildlife correspondent for the Luke and Pete show if the vacancy
Starting point is 00:26:41 becomes available. We do have quite a lot of... He'll send his TV on request. We do have quite a lot of sort of monkey and animal stories on the Luke and Pete show if the vacancy becomes available. We do have quite a lot of... We'll send his CV on request. We do have quite a lot of sort of monkey and animal stories on the Luke and Pete show, don't we? I suppose every podcast does because they're fascinating. Yeah, and also you do get very animated if people mistake a gorilla for a monkey.
Starting point is 00:26:59 I do. An ape for a monkey. An ape for a monkey, sorry. Any ape, really. I'm just absolutely fuming. I've messed it up. Are you fuming with me now? Get out of my tiny room. You're sitting, you're actually
Starting point is 00:27:09 sitting on, you don't actually know what you're sitting on, do you? You don't know what you're sitting on. What am I sitting on? You don't even know what you're sitting on. I mean, what I would say is a gentleman perhaps should have given me the chair rather than what it is that I'm sitting on. I can't get this, I built this studio around this chair and now I can't get it is that I'm sitting on. I can't get this... I built this studio around this chair,
Starting point is 00:27:26 and now I can't get it out unless I take it apart, right? So that's my ship in a bottle. I'm sitting on it. And you've got to sit there because you need the camera. People see my muggy little face, but they want to see you. What? What is it? It's a video camera I bought from a man in a training estate
Starting point is 00:27:43 in a car park. I just met this really dodgy bloke who I bought on Facebook Marketplace. Don't work. Nice box though. Nice flight case. It's like one of those oldie timey video cameras with a VHS
Starting point is 00:27:58 kind of sort of thing connected to it. What I would say is that's not the first time you've met a man in a car park and it's not the last either. A few weeks ago I met a man for this telly here
Starting point is 00:28:12 and he said he said I've got he said he's a decorator I think he said keep me number if you need anything just let us know
Starting point is 00:28:22 like because I'm always just cutting about and I might have seen something on my travels. I was like, what? So we've got access to a painter decorator who I think will steal things on demand. Oh, great.
Starting point is 00:28:34 I'm not really sure how it works. That's good to know. That's excellent to know. Yeah, it just sounds like he's got things going. He's got irons in the fire. I'll bash out a quick email before we leave. Yes. And from Massachusetts,
Starting point is 00:28:47 I'm writing in to let you know that in America, Hooters is a part of a food service category known as the Brestaurant. There are small local places as well as other chains, such as Tilted Kilt. Now you know, cheers. And from Massachusetts, there's a second Hooters, I think, arriving in the UK.
Starting point is 00:29:03 There's one in Nottingham. Yeah. Brestaurant. Brestaurant. Is that a real thingoters, I think, arriving in the UK. There's one in Nottingham. Yeah. Breast-tron. A breast-tron. Is that a real thing? I'll tell you, Sarah, I've actually been to a Tilted Kilt and I didn't realise it was a breast-tron. But I didn't think it was... We went because I was with a man from Aberdeen
Starting point is 00:29:18 and it said Tilted Kilt. I was like, well, we'll go in there because it's Scottish. And what happened when you got in there, Peter? Boobie. No, nothing. There was nobody there. I didn't even think it was. I just remember the name because Tilted Kilt.
Starting point is 00:29:30 What does that mean? Like tilted to see a bit of the bum? Is that what they're saying there? I don't know. I mean, probably. But yeah, those kind of references. It's weird that like Hooters is a family brand. Like dads will take their kids to America.
Starting point is 00:29:44 Because you lived in America for a bit did you ever go to Hooters No I really didn't but I remember a friend of mine going for like a stag do and being deeply disappointed that it wasn't more risque
Starting point is 00:29:53 than it is because it is like it is a family restaurant It's not very European No not at all It's a family restaurant Not at all It's a sports bar isn't it
Starting point is 00:29:59 It's a bit odd really It is a bit odd isn't it In 2023 A young fucking teenage lasser just running around with bloody Yeah It's not right
Starting point is 00:30:06 anyway but thanks for adding the word breast-er-ant breast-er-ant yeah what would you if you were going
Starting point is 00:30:13 to make a restaurant themed around breasts what would you call it tits is that the best you're bringing is that the best right I'm shutting
Starting point is 00:30:23 this down this has been the Luke and Pete show. We expected better from our Kiva nominated and Sony Award winning radio presenter Sarah Champion, but she's just filling the air with blueness. We'll be back. It was fun while it lasted.
Starting point is 00:30:41 I don't think I'll be invited back. No, you will actually. There's flies all around you. As soon as you started saying tits, some dirty old flies. You're like a pig pen out of bloody Charlie Brown. Get out. There's so many flies around you. Did you leave the door open?
Starting point is 00:30:55 You always leave the door open. All the flies come in and eat me. Awful. Awful business. Get out. Sorry. It's the Luke Pig Show. Sorry, everyone.
Starting point is 00:31:04 We'll be back. Hello at LukePachaw.com if you want to email I'm sure I could get Sarah back on to answer any questions about let's ask some questions
Starting point is 00:31:12 about Luke for crying out loud you can follow us on TikTok apparently the Luke and Pete show Twitter at Luke and Pete show
Starting point is 00:31:19 and Instagram Luke and Pete show say goodbye Sarah Champion thank you for joining us goodbye ta ta sorry about your
Starting point is 00:31:26 horrible life ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Starting point is 00:31:29 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Starting point is 00:31:29 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
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Starting point is 00:31:30 ha ha ha the luke and pete show is a stack production and part of the acast creator network

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