The Luke and Pete Show - The partner I "sometimes" have access to
Episode Date: May 29, 2023Today, we've got a very special episode for you! Pete is joined by the partner he has access to, and she is answering your questions, giving us special firsthand insight into what it's like to live wi...th Diggory Donaldson.Sarah tells us all about their romantic fishing trip, to the supermarket. She also provides us with more information on Pete's stomach issues and amazingly tells possibly the most explicit story we have ever heard on the show.Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I don't like you being in my office
You're looking at me and then suddenly you look at an item behind me
Like you're going to tell me off or whatever it is
We'll come to that
It's the Luke and Pete show, I'm Pete Donaldson
Luke isn't here at the moment,
so you can have a couple of shows from,
I'm going to say, waifs and strays.
People from my life, people from your life,
people from the Stat Universe.
And this time round,
we've got the partner I have access to.
It's Sarah Jane Champion.
She lives in my house.
She shouts at me.
Her name is Sarah Champion. it's not 24 hour access
sometimes access is denied sorry what do you say about access the partner you have access to oh
yeah i know well it's it's a rare treat actually to have someone on the show that actually listens
to the show i do listen to the show you do listen to the show uh what's your favorite bit oh um
the bit where you said the thing yeah the bit the bit where i say something
that um battery chat weaponize and shout at me oh yeah well always always always that whenever
i come in the room i hear my my cackling little voice i go uh-oh i'm in trouble i'm heading for
the high jump and sarah's heard something she didn't necessarily like
about the things I do in my life.
That happens rarely.
It does happen rarely.
I don't tell you off much.
You don't tell me off much.
I think you pick your battles with me, to be quite frank.
Yeah.
But thank you for joining us.
Thank you for filling a Luke-shaped hole.
You're almost as tall.
How are you?
Are you okay?
I feel like you're a bit nervous.
I'm rightly so.
I'm a bit nervous and I'm a bit stressed about squeezing you in.
If we are using any of this video for socials...
I beg your pardon?
If we are using any of this for socials, medias, Rory, we'll be putting clips up.
But to be honest, there's just not enough room in this room.
Because basically, we're down the cabin on the end of the garden,
the apology cabin, as it's more commonly known on the Little Peach Show.
And I am very much...
I've kind of carved out a little corner of it for my little studio.
And this is where I usually do the Little Peach Show from.
Your sordid little activities.
I don't want to know what goes on in this room.
I don't have blinds up, so let's make that very clear.
Whatever I get up to, everyone can see.
Well, I thought you might be more nervous that this would be, you know,
a proper peek behind the curtain.
A roast.
A peek behind the Peter curtain.
Yeah.
The Peter curtain.
No, I don't mind.
I mean, is there anything that I've done that you've not heard on this show, Sarah?
I don't mind as he breaks into a sweat.
No, that's true.
No.
There's not a single thing.
There's only a couple of things I can think of genuinely
that didn't end up on the Nook of Pitches.
Even when I nearly died,
an activity you were privy to,
busy taking pictures of dogs as I met my watery end.
And even that, I was like,
I'm not going to talk about on there
because that was too harrowing.
Give it a couple of days.
I need content, Sarah.
I need to say it on the Luca Pete show
because I got nothing left.
I got nothing else apart from my real life.
Real life, real Donaldson, as I call it.
I mean, I don't think you need to make anything up, do you?
No.
Not from your life.
I mean, Rory did put a load of questions out on Twitter and on Instagram.
Basically, I'm soliciting what listeners to The Looking Picture Show might want to know from you,
a person who lives in my house and I live in their house.
Our house.
Our house.
Our house.
It's our house.
This should be a regular thing because we all know how popular these husband and wife podcasts are.
They have a bit of a scrap.
They have a bit of a scrap.
They have a bit of a whine at each other.
Cha-ching.
Let's sell it for five million to Spotify.
I'm in.
Good.
All right.
Yeah.
First things first.
Thank you for coming on the show.
You're welcome.
Second things second, we do have some questions from people online
who want to know a couple of things about you, about me.
Sam has come in with best and worst meal Pete has ever cooked for you.
That's a start for ten.
Okay, best meal.
You do a good fish pie.
Right, okay.
In fact, I remember very early on when we were courting.
Courting. I thought, what we need is the house to smell a fish.
Well, I remember going on a sort of romantic fishing trip.
A romantic fishing trip.
A romantic fishing trip.
A romantic kind of, well, yeah, a fishing trip to buy the ingredients.
That's not a fishing trip. That's shopping.
But you, yeah, so we kind of went around this little supermarket.
I shouldn't have brought a net.
I'm in Iceland with some cod loins and a net.
And, yeah, shopping for, I don't know, prawns and whatever else, those bits.
And then we went back to your house and you made a fish pie.
Cooked up a storm.
And I remember it being delicious yeah i mean the secret of fish pies you just you boil the fish in milk and uh
you add a lot of mustard uh but the secret ingredient is just cover it in lots of cheese
yeah that and that's always going to work for me always going to work for me however oh well
what's on the worst side of the ledger, Sarah?
I mean, nothing
awful, but do you remember that morning
you were making what I thought was French
toast? Right, yeah.
So I came downstairs to
the sort of delicious
aroma of what I
thought was French toast.
But what you'd actually done
was got the remnants of last night's pizza
and made it into French toast.
Italian French toast.
So it was this sort of just monstrous looking kind of lump of...
Congealed cheese, bread and syrup.
It was very greasy.
It was very greasy, yeah.
Very greasy.
I mean, there's a lot of bread.
Bread does soak up the oil, so to speak.
It wasn't the French toast I was expecting.
What is French toast?
Eggy bread, isn't it?
It's a posh word for eggy bread.
Yeah, but you need syrup on it.
That's French toast, isn't it?
You can't just have eggy bread.
Icing sugar quite often as well, isn't it?
Oh, yeah.
And it's got really thick bread.
I don't think it's last night's pepperoni pizza
no
generally
covered in egg
eggy pizza
I think
look
out of all the things
I've cooked
and out of all the
the problem with me
is I do
I do have a crack
at
I'll do a normal meal
and then I'll add
a pete twist on it
and I shouldn't really
add a pete twist
because I
I remember sort of
growing up and I would
look on the back of like a packet of custard.
I loved custard.
And it would say ingredients.
What's in custard?
Egg, milk, flour.
And I'd sort of go, right, since you've run out of custard and I've just got the can,
I'll just make my own.
And so I'd just get flour, egg, milk and mix it together.
Not really knowing how it all goes together, how it emulsifies, how you make egg, milk and mix it together not really knowing how it all goes together
how it emulsifies, how you make it, how you mix it
I think you've made a cake there haven't you?
I don't know what I made but I tried drinking it
and it weren't fucking custard
Why do you don't like cake?
I finally got to the bottom of why you don't like cake
Because I tried to make custard
Turned right at dessert avenue
The thing is
and also what I would say
is and regular listeners
to the Lickin' Pete show
will know that your stomach
is of its own
kind of
you have a very
weak
constitution
I'm not sure we need
the word weak
but it comes to
what you can put
into your stomach
I can put loads of stuff
into it
but it's what happens
when it gets there
isn't it
we can all get in
the nightclub but you know if I start doing my wild dancing, people are going to get upset.
Your listeners won't have been privy to...
My listeners.
Imagine if they thought of themselves as our listeners.
Like, they're free to leave at any time.
They won't have been privy to the exorcism noises that I have heard emanating...
From?
From our bathroom.
From our bathroom, yeah.
Yeah.
But it's like, in the same way that as I've grown older,
I've acquired a dad sneeze.
It's very loud.
My vomiting has got louder as it gets older.
I think you're trying to be productive with it.
It's kind of get it all out at once, but it's just a cacophony.
It's not.
People are sort of very polite with their pukes.
I'm like, oh.
It's awful.
There's a Barry White down there.
I'm surprised we still have sour cream in the house.
This is X.
Sour cream's the thing that always kills me.
Sarah always.
Sarah always.
Sarah is. I mean, Sarah always... Sarah... Sarah's...
I mean, I'll say this for Sarah.
It's very...
Not loose, but, like, doesn't...
Like...
Very loose with...
Not dates, but just, like...
Sarah is very loose with dates.
Keeping, like, raw chicken.
You'll just leave it out oh i see and
i'm like if that's out for one minute i will you will see the end of me and i think that's why i
will hear the end of you that's the problem yeah you'll smell the end of me all of those things
um so yeah so and i can't handle it i can't handle sour cream being outside of a specially designed radioactive container for one minute.
And yet you still eat it, though, which is the problem.
Because it's delicious.
And you will have last night's Chinese reheated for breakfast.
But I will nuke that until it's really dry and brittle.
It's like the elephant's foot in Chernobyl that we always talk about.
Right, what's the next question?
Sarah, do you want to read one out?
The weirdest thing Pete's brought home.
From Megan.
From Megan.
Hi, Megan.
So like a car boot sale thing?
Oh, I don't know.
Could it be like a cat or a fox or something?
I don't know.
Weirdest thing I brought home.
Have you brought home a cat or a fox?
Never you mind.
You stay out of that bathroom.
So just looking at the shelf behind Pete's at the moment.
Don't use the shelf behind me because these are the things,
these are my trinkets, these are my bits and bobs.
I'm not a fan of the Toby jug that you brought home from a car boot sale.
It looks like a kind of, yeah, it's very unflattering.
Look at, oh.
It's got something in it.
It's the stuff nightmares are made of.
It's got a USB key in it
it's got a kind of
Donald Trump-esque
melted face
on it
I need that USB key
I needed one
earlier in the week
if this is massive
I'm going to be fuming
because I was running around
trying to find a USB key
it's 16 gigabytes Sarah
I'm fuming
I only needed four
so there's that
I turned the whole house
upside down
looking for memory
and then there was that kind I turned the whole house upside down looking for memory.
And then there was that kind of haunted doll that you brought back from
a car boot sale as well. Haunted doll?
I don't know what that is. Oh, there it is.
Oh, there it is, yeah. Little weird
Is he like an action man
from the 50s with some weird
I mean, that is disgusting.
He's not being... The thing about
form from like the
the 50s and the 60s
it was kind of like a weird
it's quite a lot of bum detail
and like
an uncomfortable amount of
very muscular
he's my bum
he's my bum
model
he's the bum I hope to get on there
and didn't you say the man
was genuinely like
a bit upset that you were
yeah
it's a piece of shit
piece of shit
action man
that has not been looked after.
I mean, if you want that form to last the test of time,
apparently you need to rub conditioner into it.
If you've got a boglin,
I always talk about the boglins.
If you've got an original boglin from the 80s,
you need to rub hair conditioner into it
to keep it alive.
So there you go.
How do you know that?
Because I've been looking at
getting a boggling,
getting an 80s boggling.
It would be right at home here.
Because there's new ones
and they're all like different colours
and they look crap,
but I want an original 80s,
everyone's had their hand up it,
Woolworths special.
Well, I look forward to
that addition to the house.
It's getting increasingly,
because we've got two dogs,
it's very hard to hide that the postman's been.
And so if I ever buy anything that I think Sarah's not going to approve of,
it's very hard to hide.
I mean, that's really the tip of the iceberg.
That was just me looking directly behind to see what was sat behind Pete.
Lazy. Failed to do show prep.
James.
James, what is the most unusual compliment Pete's ever paid,
as in something that Pete would possibly only think is a compliment?
I pay you a lot of compliments.
I pay you compliments all the time.
You do.
You're very sweet.
The usual physical, you look nice.
Please don't leave me.
Yeah.
Please don't leave me. I'd be terribly lonely.
I think sometimes, I don't want to. I'd be terribly lonely. I think sometimes...
I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Oh, dear.
But, you know, you quite often go...
Your skin's so soft.
That makes me sound like an absolute murderer.
It is a little bit serial killer.
It's a little bit like you're going to be keeping me in a basement.
Your skin is astonishingly soft.
And then you're going to tell me to put the lotion in the basket.
Put the lotion in the basket.
Yeah.
Well, look, if a man can't compliment a woman's soft skin via email
or scrawled in blood on a wall,
I don't want to live in that world, to be quite frank, Sarah.
I don't want to live in that world to be quite frank, Sarah. I don't want to live
in that world.
Charlie,
how do you see Pete
spending his later years?
What kind of hobbies
will he do?
What hobbies do I do now?
Car boot sales.
Car boot sales.
I mean,
I see you getting
very into the car boot scene.
Yeah,
but the problem is
I love the car boot scene,
but I don't.
I didn't tell you.
What?
Yesterday. Right. I took the train. i love the car boot scene but i didn't tell you what yesterday right i took the
train i saw the car boot from the train platform so on the election massive um like a wheel you'd
use big wooden wheel you'd use to steer a ship what you call them a helm ship's wheel a ship's
helm i think right like massive thing that'd be. That'd be a street, wouldn't it?
I could roll it home.
Yeah.
But, like,
there's always stuff
like that,
and it's always reproduction.
It's never actually
off a ship.
It's never like
this has come from a ship.
This has come from
the chintzy shop
on Essex High Street.
Because you did
walk home
wearing an antique
diving helmet.
Antique diving helmet, yeah.
Yeah, you walked in
the front door like that.
There was one on
Antiques roadshow
it was worth 200
was it 20 grand
no 20 grand
I don't think ours is
say again
I don't think ours is
no I think ours is a reproduction
but yeah like
I love car boots
but I don't like
the haggling
which is so much of a car boot
so I could never sell anything
at the car boot
because people would go
I'll give you a quid
you're the world's worst haggler
I know
you gave that kid a load of money and even his mum was like, what?
That's too much.
For a bag full of wrestling figures I've never used.
I do love a car boot and I love, I just love tat.
I love other people's stuff.
I think when we kind of first met and we were talking about getting older and stuff, you said you were looking forward to getting older
because you wanted to wear a blazer with medals on
and call yourself Major.
Yeah.
Is that still something you'd be keen on doing?
I just think the grift isn't on there because Captain Tom fucked it.
Oh, no!
That was pre-Captain Tom.
Okay.
And Captain Tom's family fucked the grift for me,
to be quite frank.
I thought, I've not heard you speak about that in a while.
What about Captain Tom?
How about your dream of becoming a major?
Yeah, yeah.
But where would I get the medals from, though?
Eh?
Car boo.
Thank you very much.
Lovely.
Sean, what does Sarah Champion think of Pete's car?
I think we've sort of explained what my car is on the Luke and Pete show.
I'm still not going to do it.
Luke knows what it is.
You know what it is.
Yeah, I know what it is.
And I am kind of partly to blame because I happen to mention that my dream car would have been this kind of car.
Right.
Not the one you've got, to be fair.
Not the one I've got.
An older model.
That's an older model. No, but like a really really old like well i can't say that giving it away but um oh i love that
you're keeping people guessing good um yeah and so then luke only knows because i sent him a picture
of me speeding in it caught on a long lens and then he clearly typed in the registration plate
and found out the exact model so So do people know this update that,
although you have just got a new car,
there is a very good chance you won't be able to drive it soon?
Well, it's just a more powerful car and I may have...
Big corner speed camera.
I may have been too fast, too furious.
Too fast, too furious.
In an arterial road out of London.
Yeah.
So you've already got some points coming, we think.
And if you get some more,
given that you've only been driving for...
I get the medal.
18 months.
I get the medals.
No, you get a ban is what you get.
I get the cool dude medal.
So you won't be driving your cool dude car, that's for sure.
Doesn't matter, it's covered in piss.
I did this on the Ramble this morning about me covering it in AdBlue by accident.
Why? I think it's why i think
it's so it's actually made i think if i i only glanced but i think it might be made of actual
pig piss so like you it's not just uh you know they make like fake insulin i think they make
or they make fake like chemical approximations of what they're trying to make right um this isn't
it they literally collect pig piss and put it in engines i think that's the job what's a job it's imagine that's
what you do for a living it's it's not something you'd put on your tinder profile is it really
what do you do for work um agriculture although i was once on a pig farm wasn't i the man collecting
pig cum i mean i've gone very you had so many options yeah you had so many
options
well no because it
filled a pint
glass of
right
pig
because he's doing a trick
ejaculate
right
and
one go
yeah
that's too much
because it was on a
TV show called
Pub Ammo
on Channel 5
and it was
which animal
has the longest
orgasm
right
and it's a pig
right because it goes a pig right because
it goes on for 15 minutes so they sent us constantly jizzing yeah they sent us to a lot of
pissing then that's why that's why they used it i guess like an artificial insemination yeah uh
unit for pigs and it was a man's job to hold the pig penis, which I didn't see this going in this direction,
but here we are.
It's kind of like a tail.
Yeah, it's like a corkscrew.
Right.
And he held this penis for 15 minutes
while it filled up this pint glass.
Where was his eyes?
Was he making eye contact with a pig?
They were as far away from the camera as can be imagined
because he did not want to be shown on camera.
So I had to kind of comment as it was
proud of you like i remember sort of going um it's difficult to describe the smell but um it stinks
yeah and i right at the end um and this is this is sort of i guess biologically quite interesting
um it forms a plug around the sow to keep the good stuff in.
Because there's so much of it.
Yeah.
And I was sort of doing okay and not feeling queasy or anything,
even though it was quite an overwhelming smell on a very hot day.
I think this is the worst thing we've ever talked about.
Because, you know, I'm a grotty little fucker,
but I can't remember.
Well, now people can see why we're together.
I can't remember. Well, now people can see why we're together. I can't explain things nice.
So my grot is kind of in between like a meandering sentence.
This is slightly educational.
But yours is disgusting.
Well, yeah, so this plug ordinarily would form around the sal,
but obviously it was in this pint glass.
And for some reason, I don't even know why he did this,
maybe for sort of slight shock effect,
but he then threw the plug into the pig pen
and the pig ate it.
So he's jizzing, jizzing, jizzing,
and then when he gets to the end of the jizzing,
it becomes thick like delicious custard?
Right, and it forms a hard contact lens of jizz.
Yes. Right. Is that what the show's going to be called? Right And it forms a hard Sort of contact lens of jizz Yes Right
Is that what the show's
Going to be called?
A contact lens of jizz
That's for Rory to decide
Yeah
Wow
Alright
Let's bash through
The rest of these
Then we'll hit an ad break
And then we'll have time
For one
One email
Sorry
Absolutely foul
Absolutely foul
Right What have we got left? Best and worst tattoo? I'm going to have time for one email. Sorry, sorry. Absolutely foul. Absolutely foul.
Right.
Before we got left.
Best and worst tattoo?
Very me-focused.
I mean, I guess this is what the questions were. No, it's fine.
Best, I would say the Newcastle tattoo.
It was a lovely, lovely bit of work.
A lovely bit of work, yeah.
Worst, maybe that tiki one.
The tiki one.
I thought you liked the tiki one.
Do you know what the artist is called who did that originally? No, no, sorry. Not the tiki one. The tiki one. I thought you liked the tiki one. Do you know what the artist is called who did that originally?
No, no, sorry, not the tiki one.
The smoking.
There's a smoking one.
You've got someone smoking something.
Oh, no.
Yeah, that's Manny Calavera from the video game Grim Fandango.
Of course it is.
It's rendered by a student, I think, in Germany.
The tattoo isn't that great, I would say.
No, it's terrible.
Thank you.
I was very hungover and I was bleeding profusely.
He could barely see what he was doing.
The tiki ones love me.
I take that back.
I meant the other one.
Thank you.
It's next to it.
Thank you, that's fair.
Matt, how do you describe the cavern
to your friends and family?
I just tell them not to go in there.
Oh, that's rude.
Do you like that I put the walls up?
That was quite impressive for a first go, I think.
That was genuinely impressive.
Had it not fallen in the same week
that you hammered a table to the floor,
I would have been even more impressed.
I screwed a table to the floor.
Yeah, you hammered a nail into the table
and it went, yeah.
Yeah.
Because it must be difficult for you to deal with um a such talent in the home but uh be such what in the home talent
um but i would say um there's nobody more ill equipped to do, but there's nobody more willing to have a go.
Yes, you will give it a go.
And generally it works out well,
but yeah, nailing a table
to our kitchen floor
was a low point, I would say.
Yeah, that makes it sound like
it could have been quite useful
in that it wouldn't move.
No, it was upside down.
It was an upside down table
nailed to the kitchen floor.
That's what it was.
So, Jeff, does his DIY scare you?
I can answer that one.
She's obviously enchanted, as you can tell.
Laurie says, what's the best thing about living with Pete?
The best thing?
Have a sip of your coffee while you reel off 17 sentences.
Oh, well, you just...
You never quite know what to expect, I suppose.
Okay, I'll take that.
Yeah, I'd say there's never a dull moment.
Never a dull moment.
Good stuff.
I always just think...
And you bring me a cup of tea every morning.
I do bring you a cup of tea every morning.
And that's a lovely thing.
Even before I go to work.
Even before you want one.
Yeah, it's always there.
But luckily, Sarah's quite rare in that she loves a cold cup of tea.
I do love a cold cup of tea.
Mind you, your dinners are quite cold usually as well.
Love a faff.
Like, I love how similar we are when it comes to faffing.
We'll just sort of stand next to something and we'll go,
you've got to leave right now and we'll just be,
I'll have my hand inside a computer.
I'll be delivering a sow. I'll be delivering a sow.
I'll be on a roof.
I've really got to get up on the roof right now,
even though I'm five minutes late.
All right.
Ad break.
We'll be back with some emails.
We're back with Luke and Pete Shaw.
I'm Pete Donaldson.
I'm joined by Sarah Chutney.
Chutney.
Sarah Chutney. Sarah Chutney. My name by Sarah Chutney Sarah Chutney
Sarah Chutney
My name is Sarah Chutney
Why not
Why not
And we're going to do some emails
Can you read this from here
Which one do you want to do
Because I did send them
Yes
And I read them
I like the one about the zoo
The wildlife
We're going to the zoo
Is that one though
A zoo
You can come to
To
To
We can swing our pants.
Yes, I guess this one.
Pants.
Pants.
All right.
With the elephants.
What?
Hello, Luke and Pete.
Sorry, carry on.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
You sure?
I want some sour cream.
Hello, Luke and Pete.
I recently heard Pete talking about the regular outrage appearing in local Facebook groups
about people not picking up their dog poo.
This issue has raised its head in the village I live in, Hertfordshire.
However, these posts took an interesting turn as we exited lockdown
and will live long in the memory.
Someone got so fed up with the sight of dog poo spreading
all along the local footpaths,
they went around spraying it with spray paint
to make a point of the ongoing problem.
Unfortunately for the local community, this coincided with lots of rocks being painted in the local village by school children to show their solidarity during the pandemic for public services like the NHS.
I'm sure you can see where this is going, he says.
says. Facebook went into meltdown in this sleepy
Hertfordshire village as there were reports of
children engrossed in spotting these
painted stones and picking them up to take
a closer look to discover
spray-painted dog turds.
Also, he says, and this
is a proposition that I think we
will definitely take up.
Whenever I'm listening to the show, I'm always keeping an ear out
for mentions of wildlife. I'm lucky
enough to be retraining as a zookeeper at the age of 38 in a midlife career change
and work at a popular UK zoo.
Pete made an interesting point about sloths following his trip abroad,
and it's correct that studies have shown that a species of moth are indeed within the sloth's hair.
They also move slowly, are often covered in a green coating,
which is an algae that forms on these slow-moving mammals.
As for pooing on the floor, that's also correct.
And our keepers daily check the CCTV in our rainforest habitat
to make sure we don't have a constipated sloth.
However, the reason they do this in the wild is still a bit of a mystery.
Descending to the forest floor leaves them most vulnerable.
Here's the bit I think we will be interested in.
If Pete wants to come and see our gibbons at the zoo,
let me know.
Don't worry, Pete, I won't expect anything in return.
That's a yes.
Yeah, but like...
What?
You love a gibbon.
I do love a gibbon.
And I'd love to go to the zoo.
But I'm just saying,
is he just offering us to go to the zoo?
Because I need access to gibbons.
Well, he says I aspire...
Because COVID's over now.
Because remember,
because you know
Zooki, the siren,
and he let us in
with the...
Did he let us in
with the Ghibbs?
No, he let us in
with the howler monkeys,
didn't he?
Yes.
But then COVID came
and because monkeys
can get COVID,
they didn't do it anymore.
Okay.
Well, he says,
I aspire to be
the unofficial
wildlife correspondent
for the Luke and Pete show
if the vacancy
becomes available.
We do have quite a lot of...
He'll send his TV on request.
We do have quite a lot of sort of monkey and animal stories on the Luke and Pete show if the vacancy becomes available. We do have quite a lot of... We'll send his CV on request. We do have quite a lot of sort of monkey and animal stories
on the Luke and Pete show, don't we?
I suppose every podcast does because they're fascinating.
Yeah, and also you do get very animated if people mistake
a gorilla for a monkey.
I do.
An ape for a monkey.
An ape for a monkey, sorry.
Any ape, really.
I'm just absolutely fuming.
I've messed it up. Are you fuming with me now?
Get out of my tiny room.
You're sitting, you're actually
sitting on, you don't actually know what you're sitting on, do you?
You don't know what you're
sitting on. What am I sitting on? You don't even know
what you're sitting on. I mean, what I would say is a gentleman
perhaps should have given me the chair
rather than what it is that I'm sitting on.
I can't get this, I built
this studio around this chair and now I can't get it is that I'm sitting on. I can't get this... I built this studio around this chair,
and now I can't get it out unless I take it apart, right?
So that's my ship in a bottle.
I'm sitting on it.
And you've got to sit there because you need the camera.
People see my muggy little face, but they want to see you.
What?
What is it?
It's a video camera I bought from a man in a training estate
in a car park.
I just met this really dodgy bloke
who I bought
on Facebook Marketplace. Don't work.
Nice box though.
Nice flight case.
It's like one of those oldie timey video cameras
with a VHS
kind of
sort of thing connected to it.
What I would say is that's not
the first time you've met a man in a car park
and it's not the last either.
A few weeks ago
I met a man
for this telly here
and he said
he said I've got
he said
he's a decorator I think
he said
keep me number
if you need anything
just let us know
like because I'm always
just cutting about
and I might have seen
something on my travels.
I was like, what?
So we've got access to a painter decorator
who I think will steal things on demand.
Oh, great.
I'm not really sure how it works.
That's good to know.
That's excellent to know.
Yeah, it just sounds like he's got things going.
He's got irons in the fire.
I'll bash out a quick email before we leave.
Yes.
And from Massachusetts,
I'm writing in to let you know that in America,
Hooters is a part of a food service category
known as the Brestaurant.
There are small local places as well as other chains,
such as Tilted Kilt.
Now you know, cheers.
And from Massachusetts,
there's a second Hooters, I think, arriving in the UK.
There's one in Nottingham.
Yeah.
Brestaurant. Brestaurant. Is that a real thingoters, I think, arriving in the UK. There's one in Nottingham. Yeah. Breast-tron.
A breast-tron. Is that a real thing?
I'll tell you, Sarah, I've actually been to a Tilted Kilt and I didn't realise it was a breast-tron.
But I didn't think it was...
We went
because I was with a man from Aberdeen
and it said Tilted Kilt.
I was like, well, we'll go in there because it's Scottish.
And what happened when you got in there, Peter?
Boobie.
No, nothing.
There was nobody there.
I didn't even think it was.
I just remember the name because Tilted Kilt.
What does that mean?
Like tilted to see a bit of the bum?
Is that what they're saying there?
I don't know.
I mean, probably.
But yeah, those kind of references.
It's weird that like Hooters is a family brand.
Like dads will take their kids to America.
Because you lived in America for a bit
did you ever go to Hooters
No I really didn't
but I remember
a friend of mine
going for like a stag do
and being deeply disappointed
that it wasn't more risque
than it is
because it is like
it is a family restaurant
It's not very European
No not at all
It's a family restaurant
Not at all
It's a sports bar isn't it
It's a bit odd really
It is a bit odd isn't it
In 2023
A young fucking teenage
lasser just running around
with bloody
Yeah
It's not right
anyway
but thanks for adding
the word
breast-er-ant
breast-er-ant
yeah
what would you
if you were going
to make a restaurant
themed around breasts
what would you call it
tits
is that the best
you're bringing
is that the best
right I'm shutting
this down
this has been
the Luke and Pete show.
We expected better from our Kiva nominated
and Sony Award winning radio presenter Sarah Champion,
but she's just filling the air with blueness.
We'll be back.
It was fun while it lasted.
I don't think I'll be invited back.
No, you will actually.
There's flies all around you.
As soon as you started saying tits, some dirty old flies.
You're like a pig pen out of bloody Charlie Brown.
Get out.
There's so many flies around you.
Did you leave the door open?
You always leave the door open.
All the flies come in and eat me.
Awful.
Awful business.
Get out.
Sorry.
It's the Luke Pig Show.
Sorry, everyone.
We'll be back.
Hello at LukePachaw.com
if you want to email
I'm sure I could get
Sarah back on
to answer any questions
about
let's ask some questions
about Luke
for crying out loud
you can follow us
on TikTok
apparently
the Luke and Pete show
Twitter
at Luke and Pete show
and Instagram
Luke and Pete show
say goodbye
Sarah Champion
thank you for joining us
goodbye
ta ta
sorry about your
horrible life
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ha the luke and pete show is a stack production and part of the acast creator network