The Luke and Pete Show - Worrisome Little Chap

Episode Date: January 16, 2025

Today, the lads dive into the perplexing world of rattan furniture: What is it made of? Why is it so expensive? And why was Luke’s cat, Jasper, so obsessed with it? Pete then shares a story about his dad randomly bringing home a snooker table and a bag of balls, sparking a debate about the most inconvenient gifts (spoiler: Luke once sent someone a box of crickets).Elsewhere, Pete declares that the true meaning of life is enjoying the art of antagonising friends and colleagues. Plus, he opens up about his ultra-cautious approach to proposing—it’s a yes-or-nothing policy for this self-proclaimed worrisome little chap.What's the most annoying gift you've ever received? Tell us at [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger! It's the Luke and Pete shop, P. Donaldson, with you, joined by Mr. Lukey Moore. He's the host of the Luke and Pete show. He's the host of the Football Ramble. He's the host of... What's the other shows you do? You've done Lords in the past. Whatever the other shows you do.

But he's here now for half an hour so what we're gonna do, we're gonna basically, we're gonna trupan, I'm clinically fed up, I'm gonna trupan his brain and we're gonna basically just open this tap and just like let all of that beautiful knowledge out of his noggin. Not all of it. Well, I'll leave you with enough to wipe your bum. It might give me stuff some of the other stuff. The rest is mine. Um, Luke, is rattan furniture back? So I've heard this a few times and we used to have some, we used to have this in our

house when I was growing up. Very 19 days. It's kind of like, what is it? Dried reeds or something? I don't really know how it's all made. It feels like it's bamboo or something. Hard, varnished, dried reeds. I don't know how they make rattan furniture. The reason it came up is my mum sent me a link for four rattan chairs, dining chairs,

exactly the same as we had in our house back in the day, and we were not a wealthy family, right? Right. And now they're... And for four of them, now, in exactly the same style, new, it's like 800 quid. Is it one of those things that you can't machine readily? And that's why they've become more successful and more popular and more expensive now, because everything just is, you know, smashed out of a plastic machine and everything's kind of just milled and

stuff but furniture presumably you have to weave that yourself and then varnish it so presumably like it was all a rage back in the day but maybe we've just forgotten all of the skills to make Ratan furniture. Yeah it could be I've just sent you I've just sent you the link to the pack of two and obviously if you buy two of those packs until you get four, and it's about 800 quid. I think it's just because they're fashionable now, mate. Right, okay. And do you know what happened to ours?

We had a cat, a little cat called Jasper. He was a character. And he used to wait for us to all sit down for lunch or dinner or Sunday or whatever. And he used to sit under them. And he knew that if he scratched under them, he'd be able to scratch you because there's holes in it. And so he would get a lot of attention by doing that.

And he used to do that over and over again to the point where he just ripped all the rattan out of all of them. Right, okay, he de-rattaned, the cat, the cat de-rattaned. He also scratched all the spines of every single record in my mum's record collection as well. So you couldn't see what records were what. Well, least he didn't get go to town on the actual cruise.

I thought you were going to say after last week's or Monday's show he scratched all of my copies of certain books in the bookshop. We didn't have a copy of Mein Kampf growing up Pete. Well I don't Well, look, it was the 80s, different times. We were big softies. Big softies. I would say that it's just because I was driving across a roundabout. You don't drive across roundabouts. That's the very opposite of what you should do on a roundabout.

I was driving around a roundabout and there was an advert for a rattan furniture emporium, which is interesting. Like it was just rattan furniture, no other furniture. Just rattan furniture emporium which is interesting like it was just rattan furniture no other furniture. We also had those like big massive like bamboo almost like cup shaped like chairs with a huge cushioning you know what I mean? What like a hard plastic sort of thing? No, it was like, I'm gonna try and find it, like bamboo armchair basically and sofa. Sounds like you had a lot of sort of natural furnishings in your home.

Nah, it wasn't, they weren't posh or anything. It's hard to explain. No, I'm not saying they were posh, I'm just saying that back then people actually made stuff, that's all. They came in like a stand here right, and then you could take the whole thing off the stand and You could position in certain ways that you want to it was what it was like a big It was like a big like cop but like very shallow cop. Yes. I do remember those Yeah, there's a sort of people who would have hanging baskets would have them My mom probably had hanging baskets as well. I can't find them anywhere. I was googling now, I can't find them anywhere.

But that was the height of fashion in the 80s. Right, yeah. That is interesting though. I would say that those sort of things probably are coming back into fashion. I'm trying to think of what we used to have when we were kids, but all I can remember is the day my dad brought home a snooker table in the front room. Great, that is great stuff. Just proper like drunk dad sort of behaviour, he just turned up one morning, one afternoon rather after the Navy Club with a carrier bag full of snooker balls and a full snooker

table. Like, you forget how big snooker tables are and back in the day You'd have a room that everyone used and then you have a room for best wouldn't you? Yeah, and the roof of us would barely use ever but we'd use it even less when there was a fucking snooker table in there You could not play snooker properly. You had to sort of have the have the the the pool cue the snooker cue Vertical to actually use it. It was the absolute worst of time. I had exactly the same experience. I got a snooker table for Christmas one year, but it was one that was just a flat snooker

table and you had to... But it's basically the only way I could... So basically it got stored down the side of the bunk beds in my room. And the only way you could play it is if we carried it all the way downstairs out into the back garden on a nice day and propped up on the black and decker workmate. Lovely. That's absolutely lovely. And we used to play, play like that. It was, it was actually an awful lot of fun, but like there was absolutely no way it was going to be played in any room in the house. No, no. I think. Oh by the way, speaking of that. So I've got a good mate

of mine. I might've told this before, but a good mate of mine, I've known him since I was a kid. He's one of my best friends, but he's super tight with money, right? Right. And so, for example, he would never buy you like a Christmas present or a birthday present or even send you a card. He's just not that kind of person. Yeah. And he moved house a few years ago. And I was like, what is the most inconvenient, like sarcastic house warming present I can get him? Because when I moved house, he didn't buy me shit, right?

He didn't do anything. Right, yeah. Right, so I worked out I could get, and bearing in mind he's only moved into like a very small, terraced house in Leighton. I bought him for I think 150 quid, I bought the biggest snooker table I could find and had it delivered straight to his house. That just seems, I mean the biggest one you could find for 150 pounds.

Yeah, yeah. It was like a six foot by four foot snooker table that he obviously just took delivery of and he was like, this isn't for me. And the delivery guy was like, well it is for you because it's got your name on it and this is your address and I want it off my truck so you're having it. And he had to take it into his house. And he was like, who sent me this? Absolutely astonishing stuff. Absolutely astonishing stuff. That's worse than your that's worse than your your collection of locusts No, I once said I once sent my friend a It was part of a challenge actually he said he said to me and a few of us what's the weirdest thing you can send through the post to me and I'll give you a prize for the weirdest thing and

I managed to send him I think 20 crickets Yeah, that's that that's I mean, I would say 20 is too many. I'm trying to think about what a manageable- How did they came in a box of 20? What a manageable amount of crickets are. Is it like three crickets? Is it two crickets? I don't know, like, I couldn't deal with,

I couldn't deal with like one cricket. Like, I think they're just too predictable and jumpy to be honest. But he said that the noise drove him insane. He had to put them under a tower at the back of the airing cupboard to get any sleep. At the very next day, they had to take them to the zoo. Oh lordy. Tower shuffle that.

Yeah, not a bad bit of work to be honest. I mean, in the same way that, you know, to antagonise friends and colleagues, I think that's the reason for living your life, one would suggest. I would say that- I would say, just going back to the snooker thing, I would say it's a pretty good measure, because you know what,

the class system's all kind of mixed up now. Like back in our day, it was quite apparent. And also, everyone I knew growing up was working class, right? So it didn't really know any different. And I think if you've got working class credentials, I think you probably, of our generation, you'll probably be on nodding terms with things like a snooker table or darts or something like that. Do you know what I mean? We were a massive snooker in darts family. Yeah, no hugely and is it quite satisfying to sort of see darts

being back on the back on the menu for everyone kicking around? Yeah I think there's a lot of snobbiness in the cut. Well actually I watched that three-part darts documentary on Sky Sports. I actually finished watching it yesterday about, it's three episodes, one's about Eric Bristow, one's about Jocky Wilson, one's about Phil Taylor. And what unites them all is they're all impeccable kind of working class credentials. All had pretty tough upbringings. Eric Bristow was basically given a dart board at the age of 10. He used to play in his room all day and then became really good at it. So at the age of 14, his old man was carting him around the pubs and hustling people. So I bet you can't beat my son.

And everyone going, well, I bet we can. And he beat them all and that's how he'd make money. And he went on to be this massive world champion. Jockey Wilson like essentially only had a dart ball. This is only toy growing up in care in Scotland. And he went on to be world champion as well. Phil Taylor obviously went on to be 16 time world champion and was the protege of Eric Bristow. But what was really interesting

was the snobbery around it. If you look back on it now, not just the way the BBC treated it with this cultural snobbery around it, they didn't really understand it, so they just stopped funding it and stopped showing it even though it was massively popular. You don't have the world final to get 10 million people watching it and the BBC still binned it, right? Just because because I don't know. I was like world of sport and wrestling. Yeah exactly the same principle. Sight off basically.

They're supposed to be reflecting what people actually like but they just think that they know better so they'll just dictate what people watch. Anyway, Eric Bristow transcends this sport in the 80s. He's one of the most famous people in Britain and he's making a load of money out of something that a load of middle class people just think is alien to them. And as a result of being the world champion and transcending the sport, he's getting kind of quite mainstream media interviews,

whether it's on the sofa at Pebble Mill or whatever. And he's basically being poked and prodded like he's some kind of alien. Because he's like seen as uncousin. How dare you make that money? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How dare you make your money like this? There's a BBC radio interview

that they've got archive footage of in this documentary where the BBC radio presenter, I didn't recognise who it was, I couldn't see who it was. I just didn't recognise him. The first question he asks Eric Bristow, he literally says the words, so then boy, how much money are you making from darts? Yeah, wild.

And Eric Bristow being like the character he is, like really punchy, it just says something like none of your business old man, next. Like that, it gives it back. But it's astonishing how rude they are. It's the same way that they sort of talk about, you know, any pursuit that the kind of, that older people, older, richer people don't really understand. They're astonished that people make money out of, I don't know, streaming video games or wrestling or, you know, even football to a lesser extent. Like, they just, they can't figure out why it's so lucrative, I suppose, because it's not something that you can sort of,

you know, nail down in a ballroom. They don't understand sort of creativity. They don't understand competitiveness. They don't understand it properly because they had a lot of it handed to them. The way that footballers were covered used to be massively informed by that. Like it wouldn't be, it would be a case of, you know, I remember when, um, you know, like Roy Keane got, got that big contract at United, like 30 grand a week or whatever people losing their minds about that. And part of the reason they're losing their mind about it is

because Roy Keane was seen as a bit of a thug and B because he's fucking Irish. And it's the same with the not so maybe not so much now, because I now because I think it's flattened out a lot, but the vast majority of successful football players back in the 90s were working class, right? And so there's definitely an element of university educating media types covering them in a certain way because it's jealousy. It's like they've got ideas above their station, right? There's a lot of that going on yeah completely agree and shall we take a

short break and then do some batteries why not we've got a lot of emails to get through as well as I didn't do last time around as ever for cry out loud and we'll be back in a second here's a look at beat sure every single Thursday we look at batteries you've sent in in the picture form there's been some wonderful emails coming in over the past few weeks about batteries, about books that Hitler wrote, all kinds of stuff really. One particular book that Hitler wrote. Yeah, Andrew's kicked us off with one that basically is, I mean it's a beautiful picture

of a dog, beautiful picture of a toy dog that presumably does something with some batteries in the bottom compartment. Hey friends, just found these Caserba A.A.s in one of the daughters I have access to, Bunny Toys. I also had a new dog we have access to, Rowan, include herself because she's red. I was the one who wrote in about you listening to you during my vasectomy. That being read on the pod, prompting a bunch of folks to share their own vasectomy stories was really comforting. It's a very kind community that you guys foster. Thanks for the content and congratulations to Pete on the new baby. Much love from New Hampshire. Andrew, yeah, I mean, there's no two ways about it. There's a lovely looking dog with lovely big ears on this...

Is it a French bulldog, Pete? I believe so. I always get them mixed up with Boston Terriers. I don't really know which way one ends and where the other one starts really, but I think it might be a French Bulldog Pete? I believe so. I always get them mixed up with Boston Terriers. I don't really know which way one ends and where the other one starts really, but I think it might be a French Bulldog, you know. Yeah, okay. I think it is. Kaseba, K-A-C-E-B-A. Andrew, thank you for your vasectomy story. Thank you for your Kasebas. Unfortunately, you are the second person to send Kaseba in and if that's not enough of an injury the insult I'm about to add to it is that the person who sent it in first

back in September was also called Andrew. Oh did he did they have a dog? Did Andrew have a dog? No he didn't but he's from Wisconsin so a bit west of New Hampshire but nevertheless same name. Still American. It's still an American and I'm crying out loud. Lewis has got in touch morning afternoon gents, a long time listener, a few times read out messenger, hope you had a great festive period. I have a battery submission. Warriors. And he's attached a double A cell with the word warriors on the side. All in lowercase, an astonishing bit of work really, Warriors. Yeah, I mean, the graphic design is, I mean, it's proper like graphic design is my passion, kind of, kind of memery, isn't it? I mean, they've done an atrocious bit of work on this,

and I, you know, I salute them with both hands. Warriors. Is it a new player? I think they've been sending around 60 times. Wow. Okay. Right. Is that not you just finding emails with the word Warriors in? Possibly. Possibly not. I've filtered that out. You've filtered it out. Good. They've been sending certainly more than 50 times. Did they ever have a redesign? Because this looks very, very Brexit, proper, proper austerity graphic design there, very enjoyable. Paul has got in touch, so many crap, a big pop

of Pete and Brock Luxta, greetings from the land of smiles, Thailand once again. Despite being somewhat perturbed when Luke questioned my OG status during my last successful submission, I've decided to dip my toe in the battery acid once again. Today's entry was found in a Keycore door lock by one of my colleagues in Phuket in Thailand. As the custodian for this final establishment, I feel that I meet the CREATE criteria for battery owner. Smart R Manganese AA is surely a new player and if not then I will happily concede my OG status. If not then Luke needs to recognise my status and anoint me as a true OG. Love and gratitude for your service, Paul. Paul. Paul I'm

absolutely delighted to tell you that these are new players. No one has sent Smart R or Smart R Manganese in before. Therefore you are unquestionably an OG and you have a true status as a battery finder. Congratulations to you. I like the picture you referred to Thailand as Thailand. That's pretty nice. Yeah. No, wrong with that, isn't it?

Thailand, the Thailanders. Thailand. It's like saying, instead of saying there's a snowman, you say there's a snowman. Snowman, yeah. The Thailanders. The Thailanders. The Thailanders. Yeah.

Thanks. Well, congratulations to you, Paul. Thanks for sending your battery photo in front of a big Eastern dragon painting as well. Yes. Gave you a really enjoyable authenticity about it. Beautiful Eastern flavours. Delicious. It looks like it's in a museum.

It looks like it's got a little... Or a gallery. Or a gallery. Yeah. I mean, you shouldn't be just waving around batteries willy nilly. Somebody might think you're doing a protest, like you're going to snap that battery in half and throw it... throw all the battery acid into the picture. Anyway. Anyway, Peter, before we go, let's finish off with this email from Chris. Yes, please. Yes, please.

He says, evening guys, I've just caught up on your boxing day episode in which a listener referenced his shit proposal to his wife. Anticipating that there may be a few examples in the Luke and Pete show community, I thought I'd quickly share my proposal story. My story is that I proposed on a lovely July day in front of Amsterdam Palace in Dam Square.

My wife however likes to recount how I proposed quote, in front of an overspilling bin with wasps flying around and didn't even get on one knee. Funny how different people can remember the same event through a different lens, isn't it? Regards Chris. I mean, fantastic stuff. I was just, I thought you were going to read out the Darren Scott email that I think we should get to before. No, I think I'll save that for Monday. I think I'll save you were gonna read out the Darren Scott email I think we should I think I'll save that for Monday. It's a long email. Darren Scott is an ex friend of mine

So I need to do this. I need to the very least Treat it with an even hand and give it the oxygen it deserves So I thought I'd save that one for Monday, but that's a nice little pre-promotional trailer though Peter. The thing about the thing about kind of little pre-promotional trailer though Peter. The thing about emotional moments in your life that you really sort of have a lot of stock in, it's weird that when your partner sort of pulls that rug from underneath you, how absolutely body-racking, soul-rocking it can be. body rocking, like soul rocking it can be. My partner said that she, I swear when we were sort of first courting, she said that owls reminded me, her of me, right? So much as I'm an owl.

Up at night. Quite recently. Quite effective. Up at night. Always got my pyjama trousers on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's mice. And then, like quite recently, I said, oh, because that's nice, you bought an owl, because they remind me of you and me. And she went, I've never said that. And I was so, I thought I could deal with a lot, but I don't think I could deal with that. I was really shocked.

I was really shocked and hurt. That's basically destroyed your fabric of reality because you were like, oh I'm owl boy. Yeah exactly. I'm the owl guy for Crying Out Loud. So yeah, it's a little bit upsetting really. Have you ever proposed to anyone Peter? No, no. I don't really know how I'd... I mean I've proposed going to the pub. I mean I've proposed going to the shops. You know what I mean. I proposed those things, yeah. I don't think I'd be very good at it to be honest. If you're gonna be good at it?

Because I think for me this is quite a worrisome little chap. I have to know it's 100% there for me. So therefore they must know it's coming. So therefore it's not special so you say you're a worrisome little chap hmm foul foul little fella I'd say Rob we're doing these bloody podcast's that whenever I laugh I just cough for absolutely ages so what a horrid little git all right let's get this horrid little git. What a horrid little git. Ay yi yi. Alright, let's get this horrid little git off the microphone. Get him back to bed.

Put him back in his barn. Get back to bed. I can't, I've got all the babies here. There's a baby here. Oh man. Baby doesn't care for daddy's illnesses. When did you stop calling the baby a baby by the way? Because your baby's not a baby anymore.

I don't know. Baby baby. I don't know. Everything's a baby. Everyone who's younger than me is a baby. Everyone who remembers, everyone who sort of grew up with like Ren and Stimpy as their kind of main cartoon is a baby in my opinion. Any footballer, baby.

They're all babies, god damn it. And some managers as well, to be honest. King Kazoo. King Kazoo, he's the granddad of everyone. Let that man rest for crying out loud. Right, enough of the Kazuyoshi Miura chat. It's time for us to go to bed. We'll be back on Monday. Look, I've settled this weekend. See you on Monday.

Ah, I'm fucking tired. I'm tired. The Luke and Pete Show is a stack production and part of the A-Cast Creator Network.