The Luke and Pete Show - You greedy c...

Episode Date: December 25, 2023

Merry Christmas from the Luke and Pete Show! Today, we're celebrating the big day by re-reading our most famous Christmas tale and revelling in the festive spirit of calling your mum a greedy c...We also hear some new festive stories which include a quite cruel Christmas Day prank and an incident where one of our listeners almost "killed" their grandfather. Don't worry, he was laughing in the end!We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Subscribe to our YouTube HERE.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Welcome to a very festive Luke and Pete show. If producer Rory's listening, maybe consider putting a jingle bell on the intro. That's usually the concessions that I always forget to do on WrestleMemes on WrestleMe. The first one that always gets released, I always forget to put it on. Let's get this one done as quick as we can

because you've got to go and do your Christmas shopping in a minute, haven't you? I've got to do my Christmas shopping. What's open on Christmas Day? You're on Google. Christmas Day shops open. Yeah, I mean, I think some things are, aren't they? I don't know. Pubs.

Come back with a... Just haggle with the landlord, buy a bottle of Jack Daniels and start drunk. Merry Christmas to all of our listeners. We're very grateful to have you. Thank you for listening. Merry Christmas. If you observe. If you are listening to this on Christmas Day, you Christmas to all of our listeners. We're very grateful to have you. Thank you for listening. Merry Christmas. I don't know if you're going to be listening. If you observe.

If you are listening to this on Christmas Day, you've had enough of your family. Fair enough. You're in the bedroom with your headphones in, just taking a bit of time out. Good enough. Good for you. Or perhaps you're one of those people who goes out

for a quick run or a walk on Christmas morning and you're listening then and you've looked in your podcast app and you've seen a Luke and Pete show episode there, ready to go. Thank you very much for listening. We appreciate it. What's up with that car? Yeah, well, there'll be no cars, will there?

Just be kids on their new bikes. Kids on their new scooter. They're all about scooters, kids, nowadays, aren't they? Scooty scoots. When you talk about shops being open on Christmas Day, I'll tell you, I think I did tell you this years ago, I got kicked out of my nan's house once. Did I tell you that on Christmas Day?

No. What were you doing? Because my nan was... You're not observing the rules. My nan... Were you wearing the wrong colours? Was it like a German super club? No.

My nan, God rest her, she was always very passionate about receiving a handwritten card from her grandchildren. Yes. She would always say... It's those things that just really do connect for mums and nans, don't they?

Yeah. So she was like I don't want a present don't give me a present and I always did get her a present she said she wanted a card and I didn't get her a card by the end because I think I was just

being an obnoxious teenager and I forgot or something and my nan was quite a tough Scottish lady and I turned up with the whole family and great Christmas brilliant years

just because we would go there for Christmas lunch in the afternoon and she was like well you're not coming in i said i was like oh yeah yeah good one no you're not coming in why you didn't get me a card there's a card for your sister there's a card from your mom and dad well this is so you better go and get a card and i was like i was like what and it wasn't that far away do you say again she She disgust, disgusting, do you? She did. Get out.

Disgusting. And I said to my mum, mum, I need to go back to the house and get a card. And my mum was like, we ain't got any left, we'll use them all.

Fucking had to go to All Days, the only shop open. What's All Days? I mean, it's All Days. It's like a co-op kind of thing. Right, okay. And when I went in there,

right, genuinely, I went in there, they had like boxes of cards reduced because obviously no one was buying them anymore. So I managed to buy a box of cards, bought a card, wrote it,

and it was fine. But when I was in all days, one of my good mates was in there buying stuff. I was like, Alex, what are you doing? He's like, I've got some stuff, still got some stuff to buy. I was like, it's midday on Christmas Day. He was like, yeah,

but there's a few presents I still need to get. Absolute fiend. In all days, we're basically going to a co-op on Christmas Day to buy Christmas Day. He was like, yeah, but there's a few presents I still need to get. Absolute fiend. In all days, we're basically going to a co-op on Christmas Day to buy Christmas presents. What are you going to buy? A fucking box of whiskers?

Lovely stuff. Anyway, so Pete, what were you, I mean, it would be no surprise to our listeners to hear that we're pre-recording this because even we, dedicated as we are as broadcasters,

cannot record on Christmas Day. So what will you be doing right about now? If someone's listening as broadcasters cannot record on Christmas Day so what will you be doing right about now if someone's listening to this mid morning on Christmas Day what will you be doing right about now I'll probably have an argument I'll probably be saying things like I'm saving myself for my Christmas dinner but then I'll be

absolutely hoovering up nuts big nut vibe in my soul that can never be quenched. Just the amount of... What's your top five nuts? Cashew's got to be up there. That's number one for me. Brazil nut is up there.

Wouldn't be on my top five. Walnut, excellent. Wouldn't get there. I'm trying to think what the other ones are. You're forgetting the humble peanut. Nah.

It's not versatile though is it maybe on a pad thai I've got I've just I moved past peanuts when I was like 18 really fair enough

they're boring I find them boring I'll probably go cashew peanut pistachio pistachio yeah yeah nice

I love the texture of a macadamia yes almost it's yielding and greasy, but also like sort of... It's the halloumi of the nut.

It is a bit. It's like a boulder, isn't it? It's like a complete boulder. Number five, Pete, for me, though I appreciate it's terrible for the environment and a very thirsty crop, I'd go for the almond probably. Right, okay. Is that the worst one? I think it is. Almonds and avocados, I think. By the way, one? I'm trying to think of the place. I think it is.

Almonds and avocados, I think. By the way, how do they get a milk out of an almond? I often wonder that. What do you think? It's just so dry. Right. How many do you have to squeeze

to get milk out of it? Do they not, do they presumably just add water? It's not pure almond, is it? It must be like water and the flavour's the water, no? The nutrients. I've never thought about that.

I guess you're right. Otherwise, it just seems... It just seemed very wasteful, yeah. You know, you feel like food is like... Most food is like X percent water. So, like, a cucumber is like 99% water. But even, like, a loaf of bread is like X percent water. So, I just assumed that it was just...

It had water in it. Yeah. Oh, pecan always pecan always comes along with um sweet things yeah smokiness bit of sweetness on yes i'm happy with that look before we do not before acorn you've always been a squirrely kind of guy acorn no one eats acorns good we know do you know that in the u.s civil war the confederate army used to make coffee out of acorns because they were so poor? Right. Acorn coffee.

I can't imagine it tasted very nice. No. Chicory. What's chicory? Oh, you're nutting it. I think that's a vegetable. Is it? Yeah.

Oh, I might think of hickory. No, hickory, not chicory. Hickory is like a wood. Hickory you make coffee out of, can't you? You can make it with coffee and hickory is like hickory you make coffee out of you can make it with like coffee no you can make coffee out of

chicory chicory right I don't believe it's a noun I could be wrong I think it's a seed it's a plant

chicory seed Peter look we've asked for Christmas correspondence from our listeners we've received and we're going to be talking about

chicories we've received some but what and're going to be talking about jiggeries. We've received some. And there's some good ones, trust me. But what I want to do, because so many people asked for it, is that in 2000, I think it was 2018, might have been 2017, we received a Christmas email

that has stood the test of time. And it's essentially from our listener, Dan. And if you've not heard it, I'm going to read it for you now. If you have heard it, you'll be very, very happy to read it again based on what we've heard of from our listeners. Maybe this could be our Christmas tradition, like a TV special every Christmas. This is basically our Del Boy falling through the bar.

Exactly, exactly. All right, so I'm going to do it now. This is from Dan, and it first came in five or six years ago, as just read it. This is basically our Del Boy falling through the bar. Exactly, exactly. All right, so I'm going to do it now. This is from Dan, and it first came in five or six years ago, as I've said. Hello, boys. Upon hearing your patter about what families talk about over the dinner table, I was transported back to a Christmas dinner I had with my family the best part of a decade ago. Quick background.

I grew up on the outskirts of the lovely city of Bath in a conservative, somewhat Christian-focused household. And for all of my adolescence, I concealed my deviant side from my strict, god-fearing, but otherwise lovely parents. That is until my first Christmas back after starting uni in Liverpool. Liverpool got a lot to answer for here.

There's so many people who would describe themselves as Dan describes himself there, so he's got my sympathy. I'd never been one for swearing much, especially not in front of my parents. But going to uni in a much bigger and livelier city and surrounded myself with gruffer people, I'd picked up the habit of effing and jeffing like I was a sailor down the Albert Dock.

Not wanting to upset my parents, I'd kept my foul tongue in check all over the Christmas holiday. That was until the Christmas dinner itself. My favourite thing about Christmas dinner, I love this because it's like mitigation. My favourite thing about Christmas dinner has always and will always be pigs in blankets.

Indeed, I'd always sneak an extra one more than was probably approved by my father and hoped there'd be plenty left over once I'd forced down all the dry meat and veg just cheeky little bit of conservative christian fun there yeah definitely having an extra sausage that's the kind of level you can enjoy however this year my mother always fond of the finer things in life took it upon herself to empty the half dozen or so pigs in blankets left over onto her own plate before she'd even finished her roasties, the total cheat.

Without thinking, in total disgust, I said, you greedy cunt. It's still funny. It's still funny. Well, that was it. Mayhem, says Dan. My father dropped his glass of wine. It smashed instantly.

Startled the cat to the point it jumped directly onto the dinner table. The dog, Gandalf, not wanting to be outdone, instantly leapt from the floor to the table to chase the cat, trampling on all the fruits of my mother's labor before settling into the bowl of cauliflower cheese. My mother was shell-shocked, and her only words to me for the rest of the day was that she was heartbroken. My sister vowed to never speak to me again as I'd ruined her favourite meal of the year,

while my three brothers raged from indifference, brackets pothead, to finding it hilarious. My dad told me it best I didn't accompany the family to the traditional after-dinner drink in the local pub, the first time I could have gone and legally enjoyed an adult beverage, which I must admit did hurt me. To this day, my parents refer to it as the incident, and whenever one of my siblings invariably brings it up over a

family meal, a cold chill passes around the dinner table, my mother's eyes narrow, and my father's cheeks turn to a delightful shade of pink. As it is, I regret that so much food went to waste, but she was being greedy. Love the show, guys. All the best, Dan. It's a great story that sets us up nicely

for this Christmas show. It's a great story, and the thing that gets me is, like dan it's a great story that sets us up nicely for this christmas show it's a great story and the thing it gets me is like it's i just hope that in later life dan's mom and dad can find it in their heart to find it fucking hilarious because i mean i'd love to hear from dan again now i think sometimes things are so offensive, the parents just sort of go, they cannot help but be humorously shocked. You know what I mean? I don't think Dan's parents were. No, maybe not.

So I think apparently when your kid is very young, if they swear for the first time, you're supposed to not react. Right. The general consensus is if your toddler or whatever has picked up a swear word from wherever yeah and starts to say it you should ignore it because otherwise you empower them to do it so do you but how do you stop them from using it all of the time do you kind of you know like therapeutic parenting sort of take them aside so i go you know what you might want to think

about not shouting the c word in the post office. I don't think you can say you might want to think about it. I think you've got to just say, look, we don't say that around here. You know, you can't say that. Yeah. But don't make a big deal out of it. The same way that when you're changing the nappy, you're not supposed to show any visible disgust to the baby

when there's a poo in the nappy because they think they've done something wrong. Right. Okay. Yeah. think they've done something wrong. Right, okay, yeah. They haven't, right? So, but listen, I don't think any of these apply to Dan. Right, okay. Who should not be calling

his mother a cunt at Christmas. No. It's as simple as that. It really is as simple as that. I'd love to hear an update from Dan on that to see what he's been up to recently.

See if his mum's truly forgiven him now. Because the thing is, that would hang heavy over the dinner table every year, wouldn't it? Particularly the first couple of years. That would be big. Yeah, the year after. I don't think the brothers will help in this situation, personally.

I'd be digging him. I'd be digging him out. Making oblique references to it. Have you ever had any big incidents over Christmas dinner, Peter? You've got a volatile character? None that I can remember, but I think sometimes one of the charms of being a volatile character

is that you kind of just forget the volatility. True. It's just, you're on to the next volatile episode, aren't you, really? Just every day. And you'll be with your immediate family this year. You're not going to be

with your parents, eh? No, because they refuse to get off their fat arses. Will you be at the in-laws or no? I think we'll probably

be in the in-laws because Sarah's mum unfortunately broke her leg. Oh, dear. So were your parents invited to the in-laws as well?

My parents would be invited to wherever we are, but they're just absolute silly sausages. But they won't see your sister either? No, no. That's a shame. That is a shame. It is a shame. I don't know why they do it to themselves

because you've got into a rut and they just will not. It's a story repeated all through the lands after COVID. I think everyone just shut down a little bit and refused to break out of anything they didn't do beforehand. Fair enough. Peter, do you want to do the email from our friend D. Castillo Lizarraga, which is a brilliant fucking name, by the way. Whoa, that's amazing.

Hang on, let me see that. Hang on. Okay, go. A Christmas Prank is the title. Hello, Luke and Pete, your family. In 2010, during a typical sunny San Diego Christmas, I spent the evening with my stepfather's family, which made it our very first Christmas altogether. I was 15 at the time and quite nervous, as much of his family, unlike him, are very soft-spoken and tend only to speak Spanish in the house. My Spanish, although I am Mexican myself, is not up to par for conversations

that veer away from subjects like food or directions, and I was forced to hover most of the night around my stepfather, Javier, who acted as a translator. As is custom in many Mexican households, Christmas is celebrated the day before, reserving the midnight hour for the moment gifts are open.

I respectfully let his family open their gifts first, sitting back with the few boxes he'd given me. As it turns out, this would be a disastrous strategy. When it was my turn, all the unwrapping had finished, all the attention had turned on me, and I was forced to open my gifts in the strange and unwitting silence of his entire family. The first box revealed a spray bottle of carpet cleaner,

which I thought was unusual, but proceeded to move on, smiling around the room shyly. The next, a steering wheel cover, was equally unusual due to the fact that I was a teenager and didn't own a car. The last gift, however, packaged in a dealer-issued BMW box

completely stunned me. My family never had much money, and to think that they had bought me a car, let alone a BMW, was astonishing. I opened the box, and there it was, a BMW key fob. I looked around in amazement speechless on the verge of tears and somehow all on my feet. Javier hugged me and told me to go outside his entire family clapping as I rushed out the door expecting to see my first car. Of course when I went outside however there was no

BMW with a bow tie in the driveway just the same arrangement of cars. When I went outside. However, there was no BMW with a bow tie in the driveway, just the same arrangement of cars. When I went back in, confused, Javier had told, had apparently told the whole family the secret. There was no car and they were all laughing hysterically.

And my gifts, as it turned out, were a carpet cleaner I didn't need, a steering wheel cover I couldn't use and a key fob that Javier apparently needed back as it belonged to someone he worked with. Javier, you absolute rotten swine.

Wow. The whole thing had been a prank. I didn't even have an actual gift to speak of. Even now, at 28, and with my own family, they still ask how I'm liking the car, obviously laughing as they do so, and make driving gestures whenever i enter the room suffice it to say the christmas of 2010 i went down in the family

and their family is a christmas for the ages uh while here i am almost 15 years later still driving a beat-up old hyundai i got off at craigslist cheers Cheers, Luca Piccio. Thanks, all of that. Castillo. That was a hell of a story. That's brutal. It is brutal. Yeah, there's no two words about it. It's too far.

I mean, Javier should have been run over by you in a BMW that you'd borrowed off your mate. I'm sorry. I also like about it. You know, you see that prevalence now of like terrible parents who were like, here's your kid. Filming it for the gram. They've just done this because they love it. It's not going on social media. What's the point? We just want

to fucking absolutely mug you off on Christmas Day. That's all we're doing. We don't even know you that well. We do not even speak the same language. But here's a universal language. Fuck you. here's a universal language. Fuck you. It's so wonderfully cruel.

But again, we've said it before, pranks can be quite brutal. Yeah, that's a bad one, that. That's a rough old one. Do you think that's too far? Yes, I think it is. Well, yeah, I think it is. Unless the pullback and reveal is you've actually got a car. Just don't do that.

I've never... I don't know. I may be the aforementioned volatile person, but I do find these things quite cruel. It is cruel. I find them hard to get to. I was on a stag weekend once where the... And I was just invited.

I wasn't in the stag't in the wedding party or anything. And the best man arranged for the- Best situation? Don't I have to go to a wedding? No, I did go to the wedding as well, but I wasn't involved in the organisation is what I'm trying to say. Right.

And the best man arranged for a fake kidnapping of the groom. Right, okay. And this was in like in Poland. Right. Right. Yeah. So they were all speaking a different language. They demanded his passport. They put a hood over his head. Right. And they took him to like a nightclub and that

was the payback. Right. Yeah. It was bad. You cannot get into a nightclub with piss down yourself. He looked really frightened. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Really frightened.

Really frightened. I mean, I guess, I think kidnapping... Is kidnapping the... Maybe I'm just pissing that off the scene from The Office US, but isn't kidnapping the bride in a big part of... sort of stag and hen traditions back in

the day back in oldie timey times I don't know all I will say is this didn't feel traditional it didn't feel traditional yeah I

mean I guess if you are how old was the how old was the groom I don't know 25 right okay yeah no one's answering

the door then no I'm recording kids I thought that was my door should I just. No one's answering the door then. No, I'm recording. I thought that was my doorbell. Should I just stop the show and answer the door? On Christmas Day, it could be Santa. It could be Santa. Sorry, I'm a bit late. It could be Santa.

It could be Santa. So, where were we? Yeah, so 25, I think, is too young. If you're in your 40s and you're getting kidnapped, you're like, all right, yeah, I kind of understand. If you're 25 and you're in your 40s and you're getting kidnapped, you're like, all right, yeah, I kind of understand. If you're 25 and you're in an unfamiliar country, Poland.

If you're in your 40s, you're thinking, this will be two or three days away from the kids minimum. Yeah. Bring it on. Bring it on. Oh, yeah.

I'm crying out loud. I haven't got any fucking money. Peter, let's go for a break and on the other side of it, I've got another festive email from Tom that I would very much like to read.

I hope it's wrapped in bacon like a little sausage. Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. Shop with Rakuten and you'll get it.

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what's the, eggnog doused Christmas edition of the Luke and Pete show Luke I hear you've got an email for us a Christmas email from a man called Tom

this one's entitled to Christmas I almost killed my grandad lovely stuff hello when I was about seven or eight

my grandad came to my mum and dad's at Christmas as my grandma had sadly died earlier in the year. When he arrived, my mum asked me to get him a drink. While her and my dad cracked on with making the Christmas lunch, my granddad asked for a G&T. And rather than bothering to find out from my parents how the fuck you actually made a G&T,

I decided I knew what I was doing, because I've been fetching my own drinks for well over a year now. Having made the drink, I handed it over and asked him if it was okay. He said it was the best G&T he'd ever had. He pretty much necked it and asked for another. So after pouring him another, I went back to play with my new toys, feeling very proud of myself. About 30 minutes later, I walked back into the lounge to find my granddad chatting at an empty space, having sunk his second drink. Being somewhat freaked out by his behavior, I went to to get my dad who promptly asked me what i'd given

him as i pointed out to him i made it like a normal drink an orange squash amount of tonic water topped up with gin needless to say my grandad didn't see christmas lunch instead he lied on my bed asleep slash puking into a bowl by the side of the bed. That night I had to sleep on the floor of my bedroom as he slept all the way through till morning. The next day he actually thought it was hilarious, which saved me further bollockings from my parents. But for the next 20 odd Christmases until he died, he would turn up every year asking for a drink, but quote, not a Tom special. To this day, though, I don't think I should be held responsible because as one, my parents should have gotten the drink. And two, how did they drink it and not realise how strong it was?

Anyway, Merry Christmas to you, both, and to your wife, partners and families you have access to. All the best, Tom. I don't know, man. I think Grandad wanted that. I think Grandad wanted a pass. Wanted a pass away from Christmas. He was just

like, yeah, fucking brilliant. You're excellent. Brilliant. If I just get a bottle of gin down before midday, I can sleep the rest of this off. Oh, that is astonishingly good. It's not bad. It's not great. We don't tend to drink much at our house on Christmas. Did your family drink a lot? No. You said you did.

You said you got so pissed last year you couldn't make the lunch. Yeah, probably. To be honest, that's probably the first year I've ever got sloshed, really. Yeah, not big drinking families. But that wasn't my family, was it, I guess? It was someone else's family. But I was just necking green ginger wine. God, I love green ginger wine.

I've never even heard of it. What is it? It's just an old lady drink. It's brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. It's just this sweet dessert wine that's like gingery.

Oh man, it's good. It's alcoholic, presumably. Yeah, yeah. Not massively alcoholic. It's only like 5% or something. It's delicious. Absolutely delicious.

Very nice. Alright, Peter. Poor grandad. Yeah, let's do this one before we go. From Adrian. He says, he says, Hey guys, I thought I'd tell you the story of my best Christmas ever.

It actually started in Christmas 2009 and finished in Christmas 2011. After moving back to Australia after a few years in London, to my now wife's home city of Perth, we had our first Christmas at her grandmother's place with all of her mum's family in attendance. Her auntie and uncle had recently separated, but both were able to attend Christmas dinner dinner as auntie kim made the best potato bake i don't know what that is i guess it's an australian dish um i was sat down the far end of the table with all the men of the family and some stories of other family members began coming

out one of the cousins had apparently decided to try having an open relationship of some kind and he and his wife had invited another lady to live with them. Just Christmas chat. I love it. Only for him to come home one day to all his stuff moved out and his wife and the other woman deciding he was no longer required. Sisters are doing it for themselves. Then in fuller shot of Auntie Kim, Uncle Steve decides to tell us about his new girlfriend

and then confirmed that sex was the best he'd ever have. Uncle Steve, come on. Needless to say, this was without doubt the funniest best Christmas I've ever had. Cut forward to Christmas Eve 2011, Kim and Steve are now unsurprisingly divorced. Upon arrival at the same grandmother's house, we began talking about going to the pub for a Christmas Eve beverage and my father-in-law asked if anyone had phoned Aunty Kim

to see if she'd like to join us. This didn't sit well with the other family members who took offence and questioned his loyalty. This then spilled out onto the front lawn with my mother-in-law and her sister and my mother arguing and the words bloody, stickered and water being used to which my father-in-law agreed

promptly packed up the turkey, the Christmas pudding and all the beer and drove us all home. To have Christmas at home. Wow. That is exactly how I imagine every Australian Christmas. I just think it's because it's different. It's not snowy. The intensity isn't there for it.

The vibe's different. You know, it's prawns on a barbie. It's like, you know, people are not worrying necessarily about the... It's not uh you can go outside there are other options with with with wintry christmases it's kind of you are you might be having to drive through an old like a country lane in in in three feet of snow like there are kind of considerations after a couple of beers but here here, you know, you're having Christmas dinner in a warm

climate. So I don't think the pressure is quite as high. Do you think people would... I find it weird... What's Uncle Steve up to? Uncle Steve's a rogue agent here. He's a rogue agent here. I mean, he is the guy that you want to be avoiding. Why is he telling everyone

about the best sex he's ever had? Yeah. Like, next to his wife. Yeah. Good God. Not good. Amazing. Do you think it's also strange for them to see, like, all the Christmas scenes, traditionally,

are, like, snowy and stuff, and then for them it's, like, it's summer, right? It's like a very Northern Hemisphere-dominated kind of vibe, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. It's very Germanic, isn't it, I think, Christmas? I don't think I'd like it. When I lived in New Zealand, it started to get warm as we were leaving around the start of December, and all the decorations were going up,

but people were starting to break out the shorts and t-shirts. It's very, very strange. Well, especially because there'd be pictures of, like, the depiction of Santa as all snowy and stuff. Yeah. I've already seen a Santa in the wild. It was quite intense. It was in the garden centre.

Oh, really? Invented by Coca-Cola, the modern Christmas, was quite intense. It was in a garden centre. Oh, really? Invented by Coca-Cola the modern Christmas, isn't it? Father Christmas. Was it? It used to be green, I think. Sorry, let me rephrase that. His clothes used to be green.

He was Shrek. Anyway. Shrek Christmas. All that's left to do is to wish our lovely listening family a fantastic Christmas, Pete. So do you want to do that and then we can go? Please don't say cunt at Christmas. If there's one thing you've learned from this, don't, yeah,

that's the one takeaway. No matter how many sausages, if mum has decided to jam 15 pigs in blankets in her mouth, that's her prerogative. She cooked them. Dan, you're not going

to be short of food. It's Christmas. There's food everywhere. You're not going to miss out. There's food everywhere. I'm sure you could knock up some more pigs in blankets later if you really fancy them

so don't say cunt at Christmas but if you do do tell us about it at hellolukepeachshow.com this has been your Christmas episode of Luke and Peach Show

if you are just had a festive argument and you're going out for a walk it doesn't matter tomorrow's another day it's absolutely fine exactly

it'll be forgotten about just crack open the radio Times and watch something absolutely abhorrent on the television. Mrs Brown's Boys, whatever's on, just fucking crack into it. Yeah. Probably Only Fools and Horses. That's what Uncle Steve would be

watching. In the same garden centre I saw the centre, there was a full display of Only Fools and Horses. A sort of mini kind of dioramas. Very, very strange. What's weird's weird about it is really strange and i think the most strange thing about it is it's not it's not that like um people don't think, for now 20 years. It's just the merchandising that I don't understand.

It's the, you know, these little dioramas and little figurines of Trigger and stuff that I saw on this garden stand there. It's like you are selling that to two markets, the United Kingdom and Serbiabia and nowhere in between it's insane only falls and horses has released three episodes in total since 1996 yeah it's massive like yeah it's massive they're doing they're doing garden center displays about it everywhere they're going it's gavin and stacy it's gavin and stacy we should be it's not as massive it is Gavin and Stacey

we should be feeling sorry for alright anyway let's go have a great Christmas thank you for your support this year

we'll be back again before the new year so we won't do the 2023 roundup stuff just yet but thank you very much at this festive time for supporting

us we do appreciate it enjoy the Christmas with your family your friends or whoever you're spending it with or Peter Frampton

or Peter Frampton that's definitely part of it that's important and yeah maybe flick on the Enjoy the Christmas with your family, your friends, or whoever you're spending it with. Or Peter Frampton. Or Peter Frampton. That's definitely part of it. That's important. And, yeah, maybe flick on the Vicar of Dibley, the one where she's eating all the Christmas lunches. Exactly. There's nothing vicious.

Nothing wrong with that. Silent night, cunts. You greedy cunts. You greedy cunts. the luke and pete show is a stack production and part of the acast creator network Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada eux, oui. Ils magasinent les marques qu'ils aiment et font d'importantes économies en plus des remises en argent. Et vous pouvez aussi commencer à gagner des remises en argent dans vos magasins préférés comme Old Navy, Best Buy et Expedia, et même cumuler les ventes et les remises en argent. C'est facile

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