The Magnus Archives - MAG 100.1 - Deadlands Special Part 1
Episode Date: April 11, 2018Join Jonny Sims outside of his role as the Archivist as he leads Alex J Newall, James Ross, Bryn Monroe and Ben Meredith through a spooky adventure in the Deadlands Campaign setting of Savage Worlds.M...eet our band of questionable desperadoes as they attempt a bank heist in a world populated by supernatural horror. Its a straightforward job and surely nothing could go wrong… right?Content Warnings for this episode are at the end of the show notes.Thanks to this week's Patrons: Hannah Tsim, Jessica Mulleneaux, Hal, Luke Currie, Brandon Wheeler, Surreal Bill, Rhydwyn, Patrick Haggerty, Steve Palopoli and Fred RosenbergerIf you want to hear more improvised adventuring with the team, check out our sister podcast Rusty Quill GamingIf you'd like to support us, head to www.patreon.com/rustyquillEdited by Alexander J Newall.Sound effects for this episode provided by Ramston, csengeri, RockSavage, Benboncan, CGEffex, cedarstudios, mlteenie, Max_Headroom, Podsburgh, StephenSaldanha, GoodListener, shadoWisp, Eneasz, soundmary, TimPryor, woodmoose, steveygos93, Craxic, vmgraw, fastson, Ned Bouhalassa, MrProfDrDickweed, CosmicEmbers, dheming and previously credited artists via freesound.org.Check out our merchandise at https://www.redbubble.com/people/rustyquill/collections/708982-the-magnus-archives-s1You can subscribe to this podcast using your podcast software of choice, or by visiting www.rustyquill.com/subscribe.Please rate and review on your software of choice, it really helps us to spread the podcast to new listeners, so share the fear.Content Warning for:Gun ViolenceGamblingExplosive Violence Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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This is the first radio ad you can smell. The new Cinnabon pull-apart only at Wendy's.
It's ooey, gooey, and just five bucks for the small coffee all day long.
Taxes extra at participating Wendy's until May 5th. Terms and conditions apply.
Hi everyone, Alex here with a couple of things to mention ahead of today's episode.
Firstly, I get to announce the winners of our first writing competition.
We had an enormous number of strong entries and selecting just two for us to produce was not easy. That said, after a lot of discussion,
we did come down on two winners. So, congratulations to Melissa Mason for Paint and Elizabeth
Richardson for Lucid. Both of your stories are in production as we speak and we will be releasing
them as special episodes in the mid-season break. Next, I'm giving a quick introduction to today's episode. As many of you are already aware, The Magnus Archives is not the
only podcast that Rusty Quill produces. One of the other shows we make is called Rusty Quill Gaming,
a podcast where we get comedians and performers together to play dramatised roleplay games.
When we first launched The Magnus Archives, we actually got Jonathan Sims to write us a
two-part horror special for Halloween, and today we'll be sharing the first part of that with you.
You might even recognise a few other familiar voices,
though you may not recognise their awful American accents.
The second part of the game will be available here next week.
In the meantime though, why not check out Rusty Cool Gaming on iTunes,
or whatever service you already use for the Magnus Archives.
That's all for now, thanks for bearing with us in the season break,
and we hope you enjoy the episode. Steve Pelopoli Fred Rosenberger Thank you all. We really appreciate your support.
If you'd like to join them, go to www.patreon.com forward slash rustyquill and take a look at our rewards.
Welcome to Rusty Quill Gaming.
Halloween special.
It's pretty spooky.
How spooky do you think it is?
Multiply that by fear. We are going to be doing a two-part Halloween special,
this time GM'd by me, Johnny Sims,
writer, host of the Magnus Archives,
and, in my own time, just as big a gaming nerd as Alex.
And with me, I have...
Ryn Monroe.
James Ross.
Alexander New.
And Ben Meredith.
And the entirely silent ghost of Lydia Nicholas.
What's that, Lydia?
Message is only we can hear.
I'm not saying that on air.
That's grotesque.
Good Lord.
All right.
I didn't even realise that was a verb.
Not one we can say on a family-friendly podcast, James.
So we will not be conveying or repeating anything
the ghost of Lydia Nicholas says.
But she is here with us in spirit.
Ooh!
Right, so we are going to be playing Deadlands,
which is a Western horror.
Now, you will notice that in this, the first of the two episodes,
it's significantly more Western.
And in the next one, it will be significantly more horror.
So if you're expecting spooks this time,
instead try to enjoy the American accents.
Deadlands is run on the Savage World system.
Both the setting and the system are produced by Pinnacle Publishing, who are, they're just great.
So the Savage World system, you have your five main attributes, agility, smarts, spirit, strength and vigour.
Moving, thinking, feeling, punching, and getting punched.
Can you punch someone in their spirit?
Only with words.
And then you also have skills, which are under those.
Each of them have a die type from a D4 to a D12.
When you need to roll one of them, you roll that die type.
If you get a four or above, you've succeeded.
Because you're all super special snowflakes called wild cards, you have a protagonist superpower,
which is you get an extra d6 for everything and you take the highest of the two. You do not add
them together. It also means that we'll start to melt by part two of this. Yes. You also have
little poker chips, which you can use to re-roll dice. Now, there is quite a complicated combat system.
It is fast, but not fast enough for a short two-parter.
So for the most part, if there is combat,
if monsters are attacking you,
I will probably say something like,
roll your shooting, roll your fighting.
You will do so, and then I will tell you you are dead.
Make a shoot, make another shoot.
So anyone listening who is very familiar
with the Savage Worlds system
You will probably notice quite quickly that what I'm running is not the Savage Worlds system
It is entirely a system of my own whimsy
The year is 1880 and history is not our own
The Battle of Gettysburg at the height of the Civil War in 1863
Something happened
Something went very, very wrong. Lots of people
say that the dead returned from the grave to feast on their living companions, and that ghosts and
spirits and all sorts of demons and monsters emerged to wreak havoc upon the American West.
All of that's obviously nonsense. Totes. But for whatever reason, for perfectly normal mundane
reasons, the Civil War just happens to have dragged out
for about 20 years
it's currently reached a ceasefire and a stalemate
largely because just so many people are dead
in 1868 California fell into the sea
as it does
it is now an area called the Great Maze
which is all sort of waterways and mesas
I was really really hoping it was
like M-A-I and it's just overgrown
and full of wheat. No, no.
In fact, there's a massive famine problem there.
Turns out it should have been the Great Maze.
Foresight. Yep, exactly.
And metaplot shoutout
for anyone who knows Deadlands, there is still
a massive famine problem because this takes place in the
early part of 1880.
I'm not going to explain that to anyone. People people start eating people that's the solution to all famines
i mean like yes but um but that doesn't matter point is in the ruins of california a new super
fuel was discovered is it also people are uh no No. Any revelations about...
It just screams as though the dead themselves
are burning alive when it's used
for science reasons.
I love those reasons.
To be fair, uranium does the same. It's just both people
don't encounter it in their daily lives.
So this has caused
a real renaissance
in mad science.
Steampunk mad science.
A nascence, because it hasn't happened before.
But there's lots of steampunk mad science all powered by this super fuel.
So anything from steam wagons to ray guns to robots, all brass and cogs and that sort of thing.
But none of that matters to you guys.
Yay. Or no. that sort of thing. But none of that matters to you guys. Yay or no? Because you are all currently
hidden in a small camp in a valley in Arizona, a long way from any of this. So you were all in jail
until very recently. Now I'm going to ask everyone to go around and quickly introduce themselves and their characters.
And, listener, I'd like to talk to you for a second about James.
Look, we've all been thinking that.
I'm sitting right here.
Look, we've waited 53 episodes without doing that.
We've got through eight minutes.
Turns out the entire Us Equal Gaming podcast
was actually just one massive and elaborate intervention
because you're so afraid of interventions that it took this long to get you here. Thanks. Now, James is playing a
character who was originally conceived and written as Carlos Vasquez, an old Mexican gunslinger.
However, James, despite wishing to play this character has discovered that she cannot do any sort of Mexican accent.
That's not quite true.
I can't do one sensitively.
I was getting to that.
So the character of Carlos Vasquez
the grizzled old Mexican gunslinger
is now...
Carl Sidebottom!
Elderly Yorkshireman!
Haven't built a prison That can all be
For sure then
You're my wife
Oh god
So we have
The oldest
It's the most terrifying thing
In this podcast
We have an old
Yorkshire
Gunfighter.
I've had a hard life.
I've played lots of Doku.
It's tricky.
You've held up a lot of trains.
Yep.
So, continuing around.
I just got my part of the door closed too quickly.
I can't get through the internet.
Continuing the parade of nonsense voices.
Get stuck.
Ben?
Yes?
Who will you be playing?
I will be playing...
Cigarillo Lee, who comes from Brooklyn,
because that's the only American accent I can do terribly.
The other ones I can't do at all.
Who exactly are you?
I'm the greatest outlaw this country's ever seen.
I came from Brooklyn to make my fortune in sunny Arizona.
Didn't go so well, I got held up on my first job.
Alex?
So I'm Nathaniel Fletcher. I am a male.
I'm not a thief, but if I was a thief, I'd be a really good thief.
And I'm extremely attractive.
Everyone I know tells me so, even if you haven't heard it, it's said a lot.
And finally, Bryn.
My name's Zeke.
And I think that says it all, really.
There's a man of few words and he's used literally all of them there.
Are you like Groot?
You want to know anything else?
You can ask.
I'm scared to.
Also, fun little fact I've noticed about the character sheet.
It's got a section here which is alive.
Yes, or I assume no.
Ah, yes.
Yes, no, these are character sheets of my own design
and I felt that they needed to contain all information
that could be pertinent to the game.
So yes, there is a small section that details
whether or not you are currently alive.
Because it is important information in Deadline Arts.
I think these are pretty impressive character sheets
created by Johnny and I very much enjoy
mine. Forts that you've genuinely made on your own.
Mine says appearance
like if a barn could say
Eyup!
Slick hair, slick
moustache, slick everything really.
Yes.
Old, grizzled, stubble to sharpen a knife on, not me face, mind.
And I'm...
You've got to be careful.
Shaky hands.
I've got a fresh and as-yet-unbeaten face, which bodes very well for me.
Yeah.
You want that sort of mouth more?
No thanks, Mr Zeke, sir.
So, you were all in jail in Phoenix, Arizona,
for a variety of...
I do.
The God of the American West.
For a variety of crimes.
In fact, I will let you detail.
What crime were each of you in prison for?
Someone asked too many questions.
He didn't like the answers I gave him.
Oh, they called me for rubbing a train.
My mistake was trying to rub the train itself
rather than the passengers.
Get old, get a bit confused from time to time.
I tried to knock over a liquor store.
Unfortunately, I forgot my gun.
I didn't steal the dress.
I had the dress on me and the shop was changing stock.
You were all in prison until a wanted bandit that Carl Sidebottom
Thank you.
has worked extensively with before by the name of Black Jack Bronson.
Black Jack Bronson.
He is neither black.
His first name is not Jack, but his second name is Bronson. But he just likes the name of Black Jack Bronson. Black Jack Bronson. He is neither black, his first name is not Jack,
but his second name is Bronson, but he just likes the name Black Jack.
So he busted you out, and in the process, the rest of you got out as well.
And you fled and are now in hiding in a gorge in Arizona
because the Rangers are currently looking for you.
With Black Jack Bronson, all five of us.
Black Jack Bronson, all five of us.
Blackjack Bronson is currently out keeping an eye for...
He's the lookout.
He's currently the lookout, yeah.
He's not here.
He's promised you all sorts of banditry.
Apparently his previous posse got quite brutally gunned down during a failed coach robbery.
Should have tried robbing the coach.
I made that mistake.
Gotta rob the passengers.
And he's essentially in the market for a new gang
and you guys are apparently it.
So as it stands, you're sat around a moldering, moldering?
Moldering fire.
It's a peat fire, basically.
It's a peat thing, huh?
You're sat around a smouldering campfire in
late afternoon
It's very warm
I don't know if any of you guys play cards
Maybe pass the time a bit
It's not really dinner
We've already had lunch
Yeah, okay
I found these cards
Those are mine
I play blackjack
but it feels like a...
like a misstep.
So, I mean...
Poker? Poker? Poker? Poker?
Poker. You look like a Pokerman.
Give me roll! Alright, go on! Deal them out, lad!
So, if everyone wants to
roll me gambling, that will be your
gambling die, a d6
for your wild card, take the highest,
and if you don't have that skill it's a d4 minus two.
I've managed to roll one on two dice.
You have been swindled sir.
Yes!
Five. Four!
So I'm going to say you lose ten dollars, you gain two dollars, and you gain eight dollars.
Oh boy!
So, night is starting to fall when, against the skyline, you see a horse and rider approaching.
Does it look like Blackjack?
It does look like Blackjack.
I don't flee.
Tensible.
Who is Blackjack?
What?
Yeah, no.
Well, we always thought he was a crazy one growing up.
Dangerous young man. We never thought he'd make it to 21.
Thank you.
Thank you, Carl.
That deserves way more than...
Just saying.
I will establish, Carl, that I have heard that
multiple times before.
Every time I break you out of prison.
Every time we get a new member of the gang. Well, they have heard it before. Every time I break you out of prison. Every time we get a new member of the gang.
Well, they have their...
They've got to crack out my old material, that solid gold, that.
Bankers.
Too soon? I don't know. Carry on.
Well, I mean, you remember the first time we met
and I had to explain it to you that, uh...
Well, you didn't understand until I called myself Pontoon.
Bronson.
What a twist!
Oh, good lord right
seem to have settled
this with a group
of comedians
how me
yeah
well
what's the job
I don't much care
for staying
in some hidey hole
like a sniveling coward
good to hear
bank job
nice
we're rubbing the customers, right?
Customers, tellers, vault if we get a chance.
About five miles right to the east.
Small town, Hensley Gorge.
Been watching it a couple of days.
Sheriff came in two days ago.
Rode out.
Now, because rounds are the same as normal,
shouldn't be back that way for a while.
We should have a good few days head start
before any sort of posse comes along.
Any deputies around?
Not that I can see. Town's too small for a marshal of its own.
Good, good.
Now, obviously, killing is not ideal.
But we do what we have to.
Well, that sounds easy.
Should be. Nice, simple job.
Do we have the way out of the building?
He'll unfurl...
They're not blueprints, but it is...
It's some paper that he's clearly been sketching the outside of.
It looks like a pretty solid...
Oh, a beautiful tree.
That's nice.
Well, that represents a small corpse of trees
where we can retreat if necessary.
It provides moderate cover.
It's not... I didn't just draw It provides moderate cover. It's not...
I didn't just draw a tree, Carl.
It's a church with a steeple.
That's because the church has a steeple.
I appreciate the level of effort you've gone through here.
It's important.
All right?
I mean...
I agree.
We're on the same page.
I mean, there's only one page.
Well, James is having fun Which is a draftsman
Back east for three years Carl
I know how to draw a church with a steeple
So as fascinating as
Cartography is
It's a noble science
I understand
So we brought in the ordnance
Whoa now Surely it's better to sort of sneak.
Well, we got your equipment from...
Bryn gets it!
Oh, Jesus.
Yes!
Oh, Jesus, no.
Ordnance.
Oh.
No!
Yes, of course.
Deviated. Oh, I was doing so well
I forgot my audience
Really sorry Johnny
I forget what it's like for normals
Trying to corral this.
It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.
He's going to get his catharsis in the second episode.
This is all just going to make it all the more brutal.
It's going to be so much more fun having to kill off these characters.
To be fair, I did deliberately design these characters
to be characters that neither myself nor the audience would mind seeing.
Horribly mutilated.
So we're just helping, yeah?
Yeah.
There you go, sorted.
I believe you all got your equipment from the prison.
Guns, weapons, that sort of thing.
Um, question? Do we know what happened to the dress?
I'm just...
The dress.
I'm just asking.
Oh, the dress you were stealing?
Far as I'm aware, it's still back in Phoenix.
Probably in the dress shop.
That's fine, alright.
With the money from this job, you can buy...
As many dresses as you want.
Not as many dresses.
It depends on the expensiveness of his taste.
That is immaterial to the...
He looked into...
I mean, dresses could cost a lot.
It depends a lot on the cut as well.
I reckon it'd look nice.
So back onto this job
that isn't to do with dresses.
This is maybe like a 20-dress job.
Okay, fine, sure.
So we sneak in, we sneak out?
I mean, that seems simple enough.
To be honest, I ain't worked with you all before.
I'm a very direct sort of man.
When I commit a crime,
what would your preferred method be?
Well, I mean, I'm kind of looking here.
Like you say, you've got a cop,
so surely it's easier to just sort of...
Could you make me a notice roll, please, James?
Four.
Four.
Blackjack seems a little bit more impatient than he normally is.
You know that, as a standard rule,
he'd spend a good couple of days planning a job like this
with the people he was going to do it with.
At the moment, he seems to be kind of
pressing you to just
go for it. You're right now, Blackjack.
You seem a little bit
ferocious. You don't want to go off into this
sort of thing half-cocked, eh?
Normally a deep preparer.
I just...
It's a really good window
of opportunity as far as I can see.
Gotta get in before the sheriff comes back.
Exactly, and to be honest, I don't like this area.
My boys were killed not a day's ride from here.
The sooner we can get out, get further west into California with as much money as we can carry, happier I'm gonna be.
I'm like a man who's direct, Jack.
I say we go in fast, hard, hit them quick.
You'll need a lookout from the cops. I volunteer for that. I think that would go really well.
Alright. I'll, you know, be there. Out of sight.
You can go in the steeple.
Okay, yeah, sure. That's out of sight as well. I'll go there. I'll hit the steeple.
You wanna borrow my rifle?
Not really how I... I mean, I'll yell. I'll yell, it'll be great. Don't you know?
I wasn't thinking you were gonna shoot to get attention, more like shoot a guy? Maybe in the neck?
No, it's fine, I'll yell and then Zeke, you're a strong guy, you can come out.
Stee-ple smash cut, too!
It is night on a ridge overlooking Hensley Gorge. You can see the squat brick building that is the bank.
Could you make me a stealth roll?
Are you going up the steeple?
Absolutely, yes.
It's as far away from the bank as possible.
To try and get into the church.
My stealth is formidable.
So we'll roll a d8.
And a d6.
And a d6.
Because that's how the game works.
That's how that works. snake eyes what an auspicious
beginning to the right so the door to the church is not locked it's a standard white
board church if you imagine a western church it's the picture of that uh you open the door
start sneaking you can see the small staircase leading up to the steeple behind you.
You come to hear about the Lord?
Yes.
You look like a man.
Yes, I have.
Needs a long, long, long talk about the Book of Job.
Now you of Job.
Now you see Job.
He's had enough time to get up to the steeple.
Let's go.
Yes, sounds good.
Are you approaching on foot or horse?
Horse.
Yep, you.
I've got a horse.
I just should say on my character sheet,
my horse is called El Jefe.
I'd like to point out, because it's called Sidebottom, this is now called Jeffy.
El Jeffy is now my horse.
Short for Lawrence Jeffy. Short Jeffy is now my horse. Short for
Lawrence Jeffy.
My horse says
Big Horse.
I think that should just be his name.
I know you've got a name there. His name is
Bob. Okay, lovely. I just wanted
to point out that he's a big horse.
He's a big horse. Because you're a big person.
An old horse would not do so well.
So, you ride hard to outside the bank.
The door is currently closed and apparently locked.
Jerk.
Carl, cover me.
I sling my club over my back,
walk up to the doors and give them a mighty kick.
Give me a strength roll.
And at this point, Carl puts himself with wall to the back at the side
ready to go in. Yep, you re-roll that six.
I should point out, all dice in Deadlands
and Savage Worlds explode!
Which means you roll them again if you get the
highest number or not. That's significantly less exciting than I was hoping for.
Nine. Nine, yep.
You don't break the lock, but you do
break the door around the lock.
And not the bit of door, the whole door.
There's basically just a lock suspended in an empty space that then cartoonishly falls to the lock. And not the bit of door, the whole door. There's basically just a lock suspended
in an empty space that then
cartoonishly falls to the floor.
The other side is
what looks like a solitary bank
worker currently counting out
some piles of money, doing some paperwork.
He has stopped
and is looking at you. Stick them up,
boys.
He sticks them up.
So when I said boys, I gestured for my two companions to come into the room with me.
Three companions.
I've forgotten about you.
It's okay, I'm only small.
Exactly.
So yeah, his hands are well in the air.
And you guys enter.
You are in the bank.
Black Jack strides in behind you.
Everything you can. Point are in the bank. Blackjack strides in behind you. Everything you can.
Point us to the vault.
And the bank teller just sort of points to a large vault door behind him.
Presumably extremely obvious.
Yeah, it's very obvious.
You'd think Blackjack would have known, but apparently not.
He's winging it.
Blackjack, do you not want to make him open it?
No, you're still here. Do you not want to make him open it?
No, you're still here.
Do you want to watch the horses, maybe?
What? No.
I've got this gun.
That looks a bit big for you.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, but I know how to shoot it.
I should point out that Cigarella Lee... It's a pretty standard point and click interface.
Cigarella Lee has a Sharps Big 50, which
is the largest gun in the
Deadlands setting. He does not
have the strength to use it. No.
Carl, go with the teller and make sure
that vault gets open.
Right here, young man. Leading the teller
along with his rifle drawer, just
poking along with the barrel of it.
Alright, alright, alright. Just don't, just don't.
Ain't no cause to be, uh...
Where the best you from?
Barnsley.
That's somewhere in Virginia, I know.
Barnsley, Idaho.
Go on, open the door.
All right, all right, all right.
He's starting to open the vault.
Are you going to go and check on the horses?
Is Zeke still looking at me?
No, I'm just bagging up the notes on the counter.
No, I'm kind of hovering around the front door.
Kind of like, I could go see the horses, but I'm not gonna.
Okay.
And at this point, Job found himself engaged in the sixth of the tests.
The devil who had made a bet with God
because God
loves to gamble
it's the point of
my last sermon
boy
God
loves
to gamble
God in fact
does play dice
not with
cards
or dice
or any other
wicked sinful thing
but rather with
the lives
of people
our souls
we all
but it's
a noble thing but it is I really think but it's a thing. So about the steeple, father.
But it is...
I really think that...
It is a noble thing
to be taught with by God.
Maybe get a side of the...
I mean...
Some of God's creation or...
Of course,
God doesn't play dice.
No, I...
Can you imagine?
Imagine if God rolled a snake eye.
I'm going up this...
Oh, father.
Why, who can imagine what sort of horrific, drawn-out effects that might have on you?
Father, I'd really like to see God's creation from on high.
Could you facilitate that for me, Father?
What, the steeple?
Yeah.
Oh, no, steeple was closed at six after the service.
Oh, Father, I'm such a terrible sinner,
and I think some perspective from maybe from on high
would grant me the chance to see the error of stuff.
Well, I mean, I'd love to grant you your steeple-based redemption there, son.
But unfortunately, I ain't got the key caretaker took to you.
He's probably in the saloon by now.
Oh, that's such a shame.
You know what?
You've given me a lot to think about, Father.
Well, I'm only halfway through the story of Joe.
Well, Father, Father, I wouldn't have reason to come back if you finish now.
It's so exciting.
And I have written my own follow-up parable.
Father, if you'll excuse me one second.
I have to pay a visit, and obviously, in the house of God, that'd be inappropriate.
I just leave and start heading towards the saloon.
All right, I'll see you Sunday, probably. Absolutely, Father. Yeah, leave and start heading towards the saloon. Alright, I'll see you Sunday, probably.
Absolutely, Father.
Yeah, I'm just heading to the saloon.
What a nice young man.
So where are you heading?
I'm heading straight to the saloon to find the caretaker.
Okay, meanwhile, the teller has
opened the vault, and there
is a lot more money
in there than you'd expect from a
from such a small town bank.
Everything's going so well.
Could you make me a smarts roll, James?
Just generic smarts?
Yes, this is what's known as a common knowledge roll.
It's where you roll smarts to see if you know something.
I've rolled two twice.
Two. You have no idea why there would be so much money in there.
What's paper money?
What?
It's quite common.
I mean, we have
both Union and Confederacy
here. I mean,
technically it should mostly be Confederacy,
but, I mean, this far west
you generally take both.
That is novel.
How interesting.
I'm going to put it in some bags now, if that's all right.
All right, well, I do thank you for not shooting me.
You're welcome.
Still behave.
All right.
Civil bank robbery.
Help me bag it up.
Oh, no, no, no.
That would violate the terms of my employment.
Help me bag it up or I'll shoot your crotch off.
Okay, I mean that.
Wouldn't like that to happen.
I'm taking the first.
He will start to help you back it up.
He will do it slowly and probably be stopping often.
So actually make me an intimidation roll.
Oh yeah, I could have been more intimidating there, couldn't I?
Well, I've threatened to shoot his crotch off.
Yeah, that's where the intimidation comes in.
Four.
He'll be bagging some money.
You've now intimidated him
and threatened him enough
that as and when
a Wells Fargo agent says,
why did you help him
bag up the money?
He can say,
he was going to shoot my crotch off.
Yep.
Zeke.
I'm carrying the first pair of bags
outside to the horses.
You're leaving the...
As Zeke turns around, I scuttle out the door like,
yeah, I'm trying to look at the horses.
Okay.
Big scary man told me to do that.
Right, you two then are now in sight of the saloon.
Can I see Cigarillo?
Well, could you both make me notice rolls for what you can see?
Yes.
Good.
Right.
Ooh!
Two explosions on mine. Do you want me to roll both?
Yeah, yeah, you rolloll both, take the highest.
Er, ten. Ten.
Brilliant.
That's a good load of stuff.
Er, six. Oh, is it on a d6?
On a d6. Then you reroll the six and add it together
because it explodes! We're so good at exploding things!
Such wildcards.
And then a four, so a ten total.
Oh, your eyes meet across a crowded town
and you see each other so intimately
each 4
above your target is called a raise
so if you succeed with a raise
then generally
you get extra good things
and sometimes more raises do good things
sometimes it's just nice to know
how well you've done
so yeah, you see each other
then your eyes go back to the saloon as
the doors open and a very drunk man staggers out supported by two relatively sober men the drunk
man is wearing a very shiny sheriff's star i immediately stop to a skidding halt, look incredibly panicked at Sigurrillo, immediately
turn around and run
back and whilst going past the bank
just sort of gesture going
caw caw caw
and then run back to the church.
Right, okay, Ben?
Uh. I'll just
scoot back inside the door.
Zeke, Zeke, the sheriff's
here, but he's really drunk.
Let's take a look.
I dump the two bags I'm carrying
just inside the door
and poke my head out.
Yeah, you can see the sheriff
staggering down from the saloon,
two deputies supporting him.
So they do seem to be deputies.
They are wearing less shiny stars, but they are deputies supporting him. So they do seem to be deputies. They are wearing less shiny
stars, but they are deputies.
And let's see
if they see you guys.
No.
No.
He's just started violently throwing up
just in the street.
The other two supporting him and being
comforting and controlling, therefore definitely not looking
at the bank and they're quite distracted and focused on the child?
They are literally opposite you guys, other side of the street,
but right now they are not looking at the smashed door of the bank.
How far away is the other side of the street?
About five yards. It's quite a wide street.
Carl, over here's the commotion.
Over here's the commotion of Cigarillo Lee coming back into the bank.
Pokes his head out.
What's going on?
What's the problem here?
The sheriff's just come out of the saloon.
He's got a couple of deputies.
Ah.
Caw, caw.
Caw, caw.
At this point, Mr. Fletcher runs past going,
Caw, caw, caw, caw, caw.
Does it alert the sheriff and his
deputies?
It definitely alerts
the sheriff and his deputies.
If I had a gun, I would shoot you,
Alex. Cacaw!
Cacaw!
Cacaw! Yes, your
obnoxiously loud cacawing
has caught the attention
of the sheriff and the deputies, who see the
smashed door, and yeah,
they are starting to draw weapons.
I'm gonna
shoot one.
You're just gonna lean out and
shoot, alright?
I'm gonna do a shooting roll. I get
a d8. Yeah, I'm quite good
at the shooting. So I'm using the sharpest big
50, so I'm at a minus 2
Yes
So that is a 4
A 4, that would normally be a hit
But it is night
Which is another minus 2 for just being hard to see
So
One of the windows of the saloon
Explodes next to them
As the gun bucks violently in your hands
It's not actually the first time you've shot it,
but you've never actually hit anything with this gun.
They die for cover.
This doesn't usually happen to me.
So I'm going to deal out some very quick initiative cards.
So faces are...
Faces, so it starts with jokers, ace, king.
Ha!
Everyone got a king. I didn't get a king. Jokers, Ace, King, Ha! Ha! Everybody Kings.
I didn't get a King.
So that is Spades are the highest.
Yeah!
Bow to me.
Yahoo!
Yahoo!
Again, Savage Worlds aficionados will notice
that I'm not sticking to a six-second round.
This is just a way of ordering the chaos.
Okay, so I know that they're aware
presumably. They are currently
there's been a big old BOOM
gunshot. Which is closer?
The bank or the church?
You are equidistant between the two.
I run to the church
whilst yelling, Salvation!
Salvation! Oh
praise Jesus, Salvation!
The old pastor has just been locking the front door and will turn, Oh, you came Salvation Oh Oh Praise Jesus Salvation Oh I'm just so
The old pastor
Has just locked
Been locking the front door
And will turn
Oh
You came back to
Tell me about Job
Tell me about Job
Father
Tell me all about Job
Well now
I know some would
Dismiss
What I have to say
As me a fan
Not me father
Not me father
Is
Is the sheriff alright
There seems to be
A bit of commotion Skip to The king of all right. There seems to be a bit of commotion.
Skip to the king of diamonds.
And diamonds is clubs, not beating diamonds?
Clubs is the lowest.
Okay, fine.
Right, so Carl's high bottom is at the door of the vault with the back teller behind him.
So I think he just, he takes one pace out,
he slams the door shut behind him and pulls his rifle out.
Okay.
Do I have enough time to then take a shot through the window?
Yes, but I will be giving you a minus two because it's a multi-action.
Okay.
So you'll be at minus four in total.
Sure.
And I've got my special rifle, which on this character sheet
for Carlos Vasquez is called Consuela.
My trademark Winchester 73 is called Marjorie.
Right.
So you get plus one.
So it's a total of minus three to your shot.
Minus three.
To try and kill one of the deputies.
Okay.
So a D10, a D6, and take three away from the highest.
Oh, six, minus three.
We roll the six.
Oh, we roll the six.
Oh, yeah.
Six has exploded.
That's a one.
So seven, that's four.
That is a hit.
Could you roll me your damage please?
I'll say you hit one of the deputies.
Shot 2d8.
8.
13 total.
And you re-roll the 8 because that explodes.
That's another 3.
Boom!
You know that head he had!
Haha!
Pssst!
Yep, gory gun murder.
The first gory gun murder.
Surprise!
He is, he is.
So, Cigarello Lee.
Okay, going slightly further.
I'm going to go with the one that's the most popular.
I'm going to go with the one that's the most popular. Yep, gory gun murder. The first gory gun murder. Surprise! He is, he is.
So, Cigarello Lee.
Okay, going slightly pale,
because I've not seen somebody actually kill before.
No, this is probably the first time you've seen a head explode.
This is the second job I've been on.
The first one was trying to knock over a liquor store.
So I'll scramble into the bank, because I was standing in the doorway,
and knock out one of the panes.
And if I'm able to do, with a multi-action,
take a shot with my pistol now,
with my rifle, which is kind of over my back with it.
Sure.
So that was Kings, Queens, Jack, 10.
Yep.
Black Jack Bronson,
he's going for one of the windows
that does not open up onto the street,
still in the sort of teller area.
And as he does so,
you can see he's fiddling around
with what looks like some dynamite, and he's going to try and hurl it roughly just towards
the sheriff and his cohort.
He doesn't actually hit them but he gets it into the middle of the street and there is a BOOM as
various windows shatter and just there's a lot of smoke and dust and panic so
that was tens nine eight I call out you lied to us blackjack
ain't no lies come on they'll be down for now let's get this cash out of here
as quick as we can and yeah you, so you're basically making tracks with the cash.
Yeah, I had two bags, so I'm going to pick those back up and run to my horse.
Okay, so that's everyone.
The deputies are currently shaken, so they'll try and...
Only one deputy.
One deputy and the sheriff are shaken.
They'll be trying to recover their senses.
Unsuccessfully.
You can see a lot more movement from inside the saloon
and the sight of guns being drawn.
You don't know if they're other deputies
or just armed townsfolk,
because it's the Wild West,
and more importantly, it's a monster-filled Wild West,
so everyone has guns.
So, yeah, it looks like you're very close
to being swarmed by a lot of angry, harmed people.
New round.
Jokers, aces.
Blackjack's an ace.
Blackjack's going for his horse.
He's on his horse and he's riding.
Kings, queens, jacks.
Jack.
Carl Sidebottom is now, I think by by this point he's up against the window frame
poised over it
and he's going to
take his time
and take a shot
at the sheriff
because he's already
killed the deputy
you specifically want
to kill the sheriff
alright make me a shot
I'm going to cut the head
off the snake of law
and order in this town
alright
that's how law works
yep
d10 plus
d6
5 is my top score there so that's with minus 1 That's how lore works. D10 plus a D6.
5 is my top score there.
So that's, with minus 1, that is a hit.
Please roll me your damage.
Which is 2D8.
5 and 6 is 11.
11.
He's gut shot.
He goes down.
You don't know if he's dead.
But he's certainly drunk and shot and on the floor.
Yeah.
He's probably not going to be trying to tackle you.
Okay, yeah.
So that's a jack.
10, 9, 8.
Yep.
So, yeah, Cigarillo Lee is... Things are going badly.
Tavern's gone.
Zeke and Blackjack are going.
He's also going to go.
Just run for it.
Yeah, anyone who's fleeing this round,
I'm going to let you go fine.
Carl might have some problems.
What are you on?
Two.
Two.
All right, so the tavern,
basically the windows of the saloon
explode with gunfire.
It looks like it's being fired pretty much blindly out at you guys.
Zeke, Cigarillo and Blackjack are not in line of fire.
Mr Fletcher and Carl Sidebottom pretty much are.
They've got incredible minuses, but there are a lot of them. None of them hit you. There's a lot
of exploding glass and gunfire.
Come on in, you pansies!
Right, and what is Mr Fletcher doing?
So, having heard the gunfire, Mr Fletcher is proceeding to run to the church, run past
the church while screaming, oh, praise Jesus, I'm saved! Oh, oh, praise Jesus! I'm just
running.
That's not the moral of the book of Job. I'm just running in a beeline and forgetting about my horse past the church.
Okay.
So, everyone has fled.
Well, I'm going to help Cigarillo onto a horse.
Probably Nathan's horse.
I'm going to bellow as I'm geeing up my horse.
Carl, it's time to go. And then I'm going to unleashllow as I'm geeing up my horse, Carl it's time to go
and then I'm going to unleash my rebel yell
ability. Right, because
Zeke has a ability called
rebel yell, it's an edge that
allows you to do a
terrifying war cry
of the Confederate Army
which can stun people
people go like, oh my god I can't believe
he said that.
That is so not okay.
Normally there's issues with radius and battle maps
but I don't use a battle map
so just give me a bellow and then roll intimidate.
Yeehaw!
I have no intimidate.
Oh, I've got loads.
What's the opposite of none?
Boo. Two. Well, you do. Oh, I've got loads. What's the opposite of none? Boo.
Two.
Well, given you're in Arizona,
which this point in Civil War is still technically Confederacy,
the saloon replies,
Yee-haw!
So, I mean, it's great.
Let's all have a big old gunfight.
I will let you flee If you wish James
Yeah I think at this point
I will probably
I'll tell you what
I'll make you
Ask you to make me
An agility roll
And not get shot
As you leave
Sure
Yep
And
That is
Yep we've got six
Six
And
Ah you've been a bit shot.
Oh.
Just a bit, though.
Just a bit shot.
Can I re-roll using one of my...
Oh, you can, actually, yes.
Now, fake chips, or bennies, in Savage Worlds,
are a mechanic for re-rolling dice,
or, normally, soaking wounds.
So if you get wounded, you can avoid getting wounded by
spending penny i'm not really using the soaking thing because as i say i'm massively simplifying
the whole combat but if you want to re-roll your agility there to try and not get shot a bit better
yeah so uh
uh one and an eight an eight then yes you managed to then. Yes, you managed to get on your horse.
You managed to get on Jeffy.
And ride away with nary a bullet in your aged rump.
Yep.
Car turns around, back.
And just sticks the finger up.
Go, yay!
Right.
Cut to.
Literally minutes of that.
Cut to the morning.
You've all been riding for hours
Well one of us hasn't been
Because he wasn't on a horse
He's got literally everything wrong
At every moment of this game so far
That's a very good point
Has anyone
I will say that you were all
Fleeing the same direction
So you will have come across
The pathetically fleeing Nathaniel Fletcher
Does anyone stop to pick me up?
I spit on you as we pass.
Blackjack will pick you up
if necessary.
I'm at the front
and I'm just spitting in your direction
because I'm so angry at you.
Oh, thank you, Blackjack.
I'm so tired.
I'm so tired, Blackjack.
I'm too scared of Zeke to pick him up.
Oh, where's the last one to leave the scene
would be the last one to catch them up,
so he would have already been picked up by that point.
Yeah, cool.
So, yeah, you've been riding now for a good few hours.
There is a dust cloud behind you.
You are being pursued hard.
Could you all make me ride rolls?
Oh, no.
Oh, dear.
So it's D4 minus 2.
Plus D6, because we're PCs.
So that'll be the critical fail.
Mm-hmm.
Six.
Two.
Three.
Three, right.
Bryn is fine.
And the money's on my horse.
James and Alex, you're going to be at minus one to all rolls
until you get a chance to sit down for a while,
because you are very saddle sore.
Only a problem if I try and do anything useful.
And Cigarello Lee has killed his horse.
At which point...
And how did I achieve this?
You're very...
Well, I mean, you've hardly ever ridden before.
You rode off like a madman.
You went, like...
You disappeared over the horizon.
So they come across me by the side of the trail with my thumb out?
Essentially, yes.
You have just aggressively ridden your horse to death
because you don't know how horses work.
Oh, God.
I thought they just went.
I look furious and disappointed on you,
but I offer you a seat on the back of my horse.
Thanks, Mr. Deek, sir.
Thank you.
I won't do it again.
God damn it.
All right.
You said this was going to be easy.
This wasn't easy.
It should have been easy.
Ain't no way that the sheriff should have been there.
And the deputies.
And the deputies. God damn deputies, goddammit.
And the tavern.
And, Carl, you shot...
Ain't no way they're going to leave off the chase now.
All right, let me think.
This way.
And he starts riding off towards a nearby gorge.
Following him, you head down, This way. And he starts riding off towards a nearby gorge.
Following him, you head down and you can see quite a well-hidden cave.
That sure looks inviting and not at all ominous.
Well, ominous or not, it's the only place we've got to hide right now.
Better than a bullet in the brain.
Has he got any chairs?
What do we do with the horses, Jack?
Well, there should be space for them in there.
Okay.
We can eat them later if we need to.
And then the horses.
Don't listen!
Don't listen to him, Jeffy!
And Carl claps his hands over Jeffy's ears.
Don't listen to him! You reach the cave. It is
dark.
The shadows, they seem to come right up to the edge.
The sun doesn't seem to penetrate even a little bit beyond the threshold.
Reminds me of Hull.
This is like Hull on Earth.
That is...
It is a large cave.
There is a lot of space in there.
You can get the horses.
You probably wouldn't want to start a fire in here
because it would channel the smoke out quite visibly.
It goes deep, though.
It goes quite a ways in.
You can't actually see far.
How long are we going to hold up here, Jack?
Till I'm sure they're gone.
Do any of us have a
source of light in any way?
Various of you have matches and
Blackjack has a few lanterns.
Which he will hand out actually.
In fact, I'm going to say he has three lanterns.
He will take one. He will give
Zeke one and he will give Carl one.
Fair enough.
Who's got the best eyes?
Someone needs to be watching the gorge
the way we came down.
That might be me.
Yeah, probably.
I mean...
I don't trust this man as far as I could
throw him. Well, that's pretty far, though.
True.
I could throw it.
Well, that's pretty far, though.
True.
Blackjack, was that you?
No.
Sounded like it came from deeper in the cave.
Could it just be a wind?
Yeah, probably just the wind.
Sorry about that, lads. It's definitely not the wind.
We're all in trouble.
We should flee immediately.
All right.
SigurĂ°r, hello. Yeah, yeah in trouble. We should flee immediately. All right. SigurĂ°r.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You watch the gorge.
Yeah.
Call you two.
I'll watch the horses.
No, you and Zeke.
Let's go check out what was making that noise.
Or I could watch that.
You coming with us?
Okey-doke.
Oh, yeah, that's fine.
Blackjack will hand you each a lantern.
I get a lantern? Yes.
And head off into the cave.
You lead the way, Zeke.
I am right behind you. I have one hand
on the back of your neck, and you are
exactly one arm's length in front of me.
Come on then, young
Mr. Lee, off to the mouth of the cave we go.
Yep, yeah, sure.
Sure thing. It is dark.
And you can see, lacing through the walls,
are small veins of a dark grey rock,
speckled with white, that you would recognise as ghost rock.
It's about a minute of walking.
The ground is gradually going down.
It's a surprisingly deep cave
when it seems to split off
into two.
Well, now we know. Okay, excellent.
So it splits into two and there was nothing here.
So we can go back.
You want to take one seat?
I'll keep an eye on Fletcher.
Alright, I'll go left.
I'll go right. I'll
apparently... Okay, here we go.
I've got the lantern in one hand and I've brought out my club.
Okay.
Blackjack will gesture for you to proceed, Alex.
Fletcher knows enough not to try his luck and proceeds really slowly,
being really careful because he thinks he might die soon. After about a minute, you come to what looks like a roughly carved out cavern.
You can't see any other exits from it.
Casting your light around, it looks like there are scratches over the wall.
What kind of scratches?
Make me a notice roll.
Okay. My notice me a notice roll. Okay.
My notice is a formidable four.
I'm good at stealing things.
I'm not good at noticing them to steal.
The six explodes.
Mm-hmm.
To a ten.
To a ten.
They are not fingernail scratches.
They look like claws of some sort.
not fingernail scratches they look like claws of some sort. The beam of your lantern casts around the room and you see what looks like it looks like a nest
made of clothes.
Next to it is a pile of... We're going to die, Blackjack.
It's hard to tell exactly.
It's leather, maybe?
Blackjack.
Blackjack, we should go.
We're definitely going to die.
What is it?
Clothes and stuff and people and dead people and stuff.
Dead people?
Yeah, definitely.
You sure? Have a look.
Yep, I can see.
Yep, loads of that stuff.
You turn to look at Blackjack,
and you can see that a little bit of his face is sagging away from his eye.
I drop the lantern and immediately flee the way I came.
And we'll end it there!
Spooky.
Interestingly, dropping the lantern isn't even a tactical choice.
It just felt right.
Well, thank you for that, Johnny.
And obviously people will be returning for our next episode
for the second concluding part of this atrocious horror.
Thanks again for guesting.
And we will see everyone next episode.
Bye, guys.
Bye! Rusty Quill Gaming is a podcast distributed by RustyQuill.com
and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial International License.
Today's episode was recorded and produced by Alexander J. Newell.
To comment on episodes, make donations, and view links, images, videos, and show notes,
visit RustyQuill.com. Rate and review us on iTunes.
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Thanks for listening.
Oh.
Apple. Oh.
Oh.
Okay.
Good start.
Good start.
Okay.
Sorry.
Oh, they say.
Old age is coming for you
You had a full brief of what you were getting into
You knew
I knew
I expected people to be better at doing silly accents
My silly accent is excellent
I felt more like doing Yorkshire today
That's just what called me
I need a thief voice
I've now got stuck in my head is Skeletor.
Yeah, we'll just...
I'm the greatest thief in the land.
I can't steal any meat, can I?
Otherwise, where would I put it?
That would look creepy. Although it's weird that I
have a comb when I'm
Skeletor. What's with that?
No, I'll find something else.
Is that observational comedy from
Skeletor? What's the deal with this?
Why have I...
I'm bald!
Yeah!
And what is the deal with homes?
They're made of bone, yet useless to me!
What is this, a ribcage for ants?
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