The Magnus Archives - MAG 100.2 - Deadlands Special Part 2
Episode Date: April 19, 2018Join Jonny Sims outside of his role as the Archivist as he leads Alex J Newall, James Ross, Bryn Monroe and Ben Meredith through the second half of their spooky adventure in the Deadlands Campaign set...ting of Savage Worlds.Listen to our gang slowly fall apart as they desperately attempt to survive in a world populated by supernatural horror.Content Warnings for this episode are at the end of the show notes.Thanks to this week's Patrons: Garrett Monroe, Chris Main, John Wm. Thompson, Gavin Taylor-Black, Eliza Margaret, MJ Stokesish, Dawn A Weisenberger, Mark Young, Andrew Kopplin, Douglas Lewis.If you want to hear more improvised adventuring with the team, check out our sister podcast Rusty Quill GamingIf you'd like to support us, head to www.patreon.com/rustyquillEdited by Alexander J Newall.Sound effects for this episode provided by Bini_trns, Slave2theLight, jacobalcook, gneube, sandufi, Massivecarcrash and previously credited artists via freesound.org.Check out our merchandise at https://www.redbubble.com/people/rustyquill/collections/708982-the-magnus-archives-s1You can subscribe to this podcast using your podcast software of choice, or by visiting www.rustyquill.com/subscribe.Please rate and review on your software of choice, it really helps us to spread the podcast to new listeners, so share the fear.Content Warning for:Gun ViolenceBlunt Object ViolenceBody Horror Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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It's ooey, gooey, and just five bucks for the small coffee all day long.
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Hi everyone, Alex here with a quick reminder that today's episode is part two of our horror special from Rusty Cool Gaming.
So if you didn't hear part one last week, you might want to check out that episode before this one. We'll be releasing
the first of our competition-winning entries
next week. So thanks for listening,
and we hope you enjoy today's episode.
Hi everyone, Ben here.
I'd just like to take a moment to thank some of our patrons.
Garrett Monroe,
Chris Mayne, John W. Thompson,
Gavin Taylor Black,
Eliza Margaret,
MJ Stokesish, Dawn A. We really appreciate your support.
If you'd like to join them, go to www.patreon.com forward slash rustyquill and take a look at our rewards. Hello and welcome to part two of the Deadlands Halloween special at the Rusty Quill Gaming Podcast.
If you haven't listened to episode one, then
none of this would mean anything to you.
So go back and listen to episode one.
We'll see you... It doesn't take
very long. We'll see you last week. We'll see you soon.
So we'll continue
right now. So, everyone
hears an ear-splitting
scream from deep inside
the cavern. Zeke, you are
part of the way down your tunnel when you
hear a scream from behind you. I will say
for our listeners that
in the meantime, there has been
some secret rolling
between Alex and
the thing that was once Black Jack
Blonson.
But nobody except me and Alex
knows how that went.
So, Zeke turns around and sprints towards the screen.
You run almost bodily into Fletcher.
Oh, flee! Flee!
What happened?
Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Blackjack went weird.
So, we gotta go. There's a thing and we gotta flee.
Where is he?
Back there, go nuts.
I'm immediately standing up and trying to just run past Zeke.
I
reluctantly let him flee.
Okay. Flee! Then
go down the tunnel towards
the terrifying evil monster. Because I
am not genre savvy. Okay.
You can't hear anything from in front of you.
It's about a minute of walking,
same as Fletcher. No
sound, no movement.
You cast your lantern around.
It's a small, roughly hewn cavern.
You see the scratches on the wall.
You see the nest of discarded clothes.
And lying in the centre of the room,
surrounded by a pool of translucent ichor,
is Black Jack Bronson's skin.
It looks almost entirely whole, but there is nothing inside it.
The face is very recognisable, though.
His moustache sags obscenely.
Zeke will poke at the skin with his club.
Oh, Zeke, don't poke the thing. Just to see if there's anything there, and then he'll do the same to the skin with his club. Don't poke the thing.
Just to see if there's anything there and then he'll do the same
to the other piece of skin.
And then he might go and do it to the nest.
He's just going to poke around.
He doesn't want to get too close.
The other pieces of skin, they sort of start
to float away and you can see that they are
also complete
people's worths of skin.
Some further decayed than others.
Maybe four or five collections?
Is there anything in the nest if I go and poke around?
Not that you can see.
Oh, there's a pocket watch, actually.
That might fetch a few dollars.
It's covered in blood.
I pocket it.
Meanwhile.
Flea!
Yep, Fletcher runs screaming into the main part of the cave.
FLEE! I immediately start trying to grab a horse.
Okay, he's trying to grab a horse.
Fletcher, what's going on?
Death! Do grabbing and shaking! Death! FLEE!
I'm going to get my pistol out and push it against his chest.
Oh, come on now.
What's going on?
We've got to flee.
Oh, yeah? Three people go in, one person comes out? Exactly.
Look at me. I can't take them.
How do I know? We got guns.
They kinda level the things. Take it.
I literally hand over my derringer.
We gotta go.
We gotta go right now. It looks like it's been fired
twice. You shot this?
Well, yeah, I shot this. The thing's trying to get me.
I didn't hear a gunshot. I heard you
scream, but... During this conversation, Carl has taken Marjorie down
and is now holding it at Fletcher's chest.
OK, new plan. OK, great. Here's what we're going to do, right?
I'm going to sit here, like, on the ground, OK?
You can point your guns at me, that's fine,
as long as one of you keeps pointing your gun at that cave.
Because death. Lots of death. pointing your gun at that cave because death lots of death death what does that mean at this point zeke looking a bit bloodier than he did
when he went down the tunnel emerges into the mouth of the kill it kill it now whoa whoa whoa
whoa whoa where's blackjack something ate black see i told you i told you what I told you. What do you mean ate? I said the thing's going to kill us. We've got to find it and we've got to kill it. Or, or we have an extra horse and we flee.
We flee.
Do-do-do.
Away we go.
We've got to...
There's a posse out there looking for us.
Posse's don't eat people.
They put them in jail.
No, they shoot them or they hang them.
Oh, yeah.
It's probably just a coyote or something.
Sure, that. I mean,
it kind of ate him while I was there,
and it was invisible, and it ate him from the inside
out, and it's going to kill us all,
ish. What are you talking about?
I don't know, because I can't see it.
Let's go. Give me my gun or something. We flee.
We go.
How is no one perturbed by this?
But...
This is my point!
But I'm...
That's clearly death.
There's a posse outside that's definitely going to kill us.
Sounds like a coyote growl to me.
Sounds a lot like death.
Let's stick together.
Let's hunt this thing.
And I'll guard the horses.
You are coming with me.
Why?
Because I don't like you.
What do you think, Carl?
The voice of experience has a suggestion.
We're here at the mouth of the cave,
and outside there's a posse, and that's very dangerous.
Inside there may or may not be some danger.
Why don't we remain here,
maintain the watch looking in both directions,
and wait it out?
That's an excellent plan. Let's do that.
Let's wait by the horses.
I am not waiting for a coyote to come for me.
You've got a gun.
He's got a huge gun.
I'm going in there, and I'm finding it, and I'm killing it.
Best of luck to you.
While it's still slow.
See, I...
You've never seen an animal eat before?
They get slow after.
That's...
You know what?
You should.
You should go hunt that thing.
Tell you what, you give me my gun back, I'll guard...
Anyone who's not a sniveling coward, come with me.
Have a good time, guys. That'll be great. I wish you what, you give me my gun back, I'll guard. Anyone who's not a sniveling coward, come with me. Have a good time, guys.
That'll be great.
I wish you all the best.
If you'd allow me to keep my gun.
I'll hide you back.
In case the posse come, I'll keep them at bay.
I'll hide you back.
Do not give him his gun back.
It's pretty rubbish.
Do not trust him with it.
He's unlikely to take a shot at you and try to get out on his own.
You give me my gun, but just don't give me any bullets.
Why do you need your gun, then?
I'll hold it and feel better. No.
I'm going to listen to that guy. Why?
Because look at him. Yeah, he's big.
He should go hunt a coyote while I guard the entrance.
If we're going anywhere, we've
got to stick together. There's no sense
in even this useless
little toss piece.
On his own, if only we get shot
or captured, and tell everyone only when we get shot or captured and tell everyone
out there where we are.
Smash cut to you're in the cave.
Going down, I'm going to say you are
at the crossroads.
Presumably all of us because there was no way to negotiate.
Yes, you are in front.
Obviously all the guns pointed
at your back are actually pointed at any dangers
that might be in front of you.
You are currently at where the cave splits.
We'll go down the right one first
to just make sure we thoroughly explore the nest
and then we'll come back and go down the other one.
Okay. Yeah, you can find
your lantern. It is...
Fine!
I immediately pick it up and go
C, C, everything's fine.
You can give me my gun because I'm in front
of you all anyway. Everything's fine. Just keep your me my gun because I'm in front of you all anyway.
Just keep your lantern.
You can see that there is a nest which looks like it's been gradually built up from stolen clothes.
Piles of complete sets of human skin. Ha! See? See? I don't eat people, you know why?
Because I couldn't fit him in. Where would I have put that?
And in the middle, with a nice, neat seam down the back,
is the skin of Black Jack Bronson.
I'm going to pull a hammond and form it.
I'm going to use the opportunity to try to steal my gun back.
James, could you make me a smarts roll?
Oh, one of them is a six.
Explode.
Eight total. Yeah, based of them is a six. Eight total.
Yeah. Based on what you're seeing here,
you'd probably be willing to wager
that whatever took you
on that job was not Blackjack Bronson.
Based on your...
Based on what you'd seen of him before,
your suspicions, and the fact
that his skin suit is now lying here.
How high do they need
to roll in order to go like,
oh, that's the skin suit.
Higher than you would have before you started playing Carl as a very old borderline dementia man.
Many things as the word before.
You know, I don't think that Black Jack Bronson
that took us on job were the same as Black Jack Bronson
I know from years ago.
I continue trying to steal my gun back
I wouldn't do that for you
make me a stealth roll
and do I make a notice roll
me too because I'm
you're too busy thinking
at five
the six explodes
to an eleven
you have your gun back
you did not notice
and proceed to on the sly, try and just
load it or something.
With an 11, I'm going to say, yeah, you can get your gun
back and you can load it. I dropped
it when I was vomiting. Yeah, I just pocketed it.
No one knows that I have my gun, but I'd rather have a gun.
Gun's a gun. I'm just going to
explore this cavern fully. Maybe it weren't
a coyote. You see? You see this?
This is what I'm getting at.
What do you think it was?
I think it was death on legs.
I think it was death on legs and it's
coming for us and we can leave. There are
horses. Horses have four. This thing
presumably has two. There's plenty of animals that don't eat the
skin. It's probably still just some
beast of some kind. I don't know what skin's the best
bit. It's like crackling. It's delicious.
I'm going to throw in my hat with Fletcher here.
See? Smart kid. I'd like to take my chances
with the posse. Smart kid.
I don't know what's going on. You might have a point
there, Zeke. I mean, you know,
better the devil you know, because you can shoot the devil
in the face.
One animal
or a dozen angry
townsfolk. I'm starting
to think I want to take on the townsfolk.
If you've never had a
hanging posse after you before,
you don't know what you're talking about.
I can't hear nothing! I know you can't, so
shut up! I listen.
There's nothing there!
Okay, so,
I'm just sort of backing and standing deliberately
right next to Sigurillo. So,
you want to hunt this thing, that's a great idea.
How do you feel? You feel I'm safe now?
We can go guard the entrance, yeah?
No, I still don't trust you.
Oh, come on, man.
Right, we should stay together.
I grab one of the lanterns and I start
walking back to the fork.
Okay. This is great. We're heading back the way we came.
Everything is fine. We're going to leave.
When we get back to the fork, I turn down
the other route.
Okay.
Is he really?
Come on now, Zeke, you're absolutely sure about this, lad.
Yes.
I'm waiting at that fork, and I'm not even going to go to the entrance
because I'm afraid he'll kill me if I do.
But I'm not going to go down the tunnel because I'm afraid I'll die if I go there.
Carl tosses up the options, looks at these two measly, pathetic excuses.
Look, I'll give my best winning smile
with a little slicked comb over my hair.
I'll sigh and
still shaking a bit, but get round behind
him and start pushing him down the right hand.
Don't wear your hair like that, you look like a last from Halifax.
With my pistol jammed
in the small of his back. Oh, come on, you know that
I'm good for it. Everything's fine.
Look, shut up, there's nothing you can do. I've got your gun.
Come on, alright, I'll just eat. Come on, lads. Wait, do I... Oh, no, I must have dropped it. Sorry, I've lost for it. Like, everything's fine. Look, shut up. There's nothing you can do. I've got your gun. Come on. All right. I'll do it.
Come on, lads.
Wait.
Oh, no.
I must have dropped it.
Sorry.
I've lost your gun.
Oh, come on.
That's awful.
I'm so annoyed.
Further down that passage, it goes on for quite a while, getting deeper and deeper.
And it splits off into what looks like to be a small network of passages.
I very slowly, to show that I'm not trying to pick a fight,
pull out my hidden knife,
and etch an arrow, scratching it into the rock,
pointing back the way we came.
And then very slowly, and obviously for everyone put it,
back where it came from.
That's good thinking, Fletcher.
Maybe you're not so useless after all.
Wait, can someone hold my gun, please?
I can hold the gun.
Can someone else hold my gun, please? I can hold the gun.
Can someone else hold my gun?
And I'm going to load the rifle.
Oh yeah, you didn't actually reload it after your shot.
So is it bolt action?
It doesn't matter, it's one shot.
You reload it.
Cool.
I've got some experience tracking animals.
When you're out here for as long as I've been in deep American West,
I've not acquired the accent obviously, but I've acquired a, like, deep American West. I've not acquired the accent, obviously,
but I've acquired a super-mountain trekking experience.
So I'm going to look around.
You probably used to be a poacher back in your year.
Yeah, probably.
Carl starts picking things up and just licking them.
Going, look, that's not faeces.
That's not faeces.
That's not faeces.
Meanwhile, what does Zeke do?
Zeke is now, bizarrely, the driving force of the plot.
Guys, I just have to say, I'm enjoying so much being the airhead job in a horror movie scenario.
I'm the idiot who never learned how horror movies work.
I'm going to ask Carl which way we should go.
Do I do some sort of tracking?
Yeah, you can roll tracking.
He's going to lick rocks and call them feces.
Yeah.
Four. The
third thing you lick is still not
faeces. Oh, what a disappointment.
At which point you kind of give up on
that particular method of tracking
and notice the large drag
marks.
Drag marks!
Here, Fletcher, there's a dress
over here.
That took a while for me to get that one.
There's...
There we go.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Go on, last drag marks.
They're quite old, you reckon a couple of weeks maybe,
but they go from this passage through the dirt
and curve into one of the tunnels leading up.
Okay, can I tell what has been dragged?
It looks like people. It looks like
a person. There are two lines
as though legs are being dragged. Sure.
Well, if there's one thing I know, it's the marks
made by a body as it's dragged
out by a position under the arms across
into a passage in a
very specific knowledge.
You can't... Board schools in Yorkshire.
So it's a thing that carried a
person away. Let's list thing that carried a person away.
Let's list the animals that carry things away.
Humans?
Yes, okay?
Humans are scary, but they don't steal...
Who do you know who skins people?
I've walked down that passage now that Carl's pointed it out.
I'm going to continue bickering while being forced to.
I did with one guy in Brooklyn who said he'd skin a guy.
So you two are heading down the passage.
You two are still bickering.
So who is not currently carrying a lantern?
Carl isn't because Carl is carrying a two-handed rifle.
The rest of us have lanterns.
And although I've loaded my rifle, I'm holding my pistol.
So you two are bickering.
You two are heading down this passage.
It leads to a smaller room.
And in the walls, it's got divots sort of carved.
And hanging from them look to be very old hooks,
some of which, yes, have more skin on them.
But in the corner is quite a well-kept-looking chest,
or a trunk, probably the sort you'd use for coach travel.
I walk over to it and attempt to open it.
It is not locked.
Inside, a lot of money, a lot of jewellery,
valuables, some small books,
some guns, ammo,
and quite a prominent leather-bound journal.
I close the chest again and say,
this may not have been a wasted trip altogether.
Let's take this back to the horses.
I don't want to admit that I can't read.
Fair enough.
There is a gunshot.
And your lantern explodes, plunging you into darkness.
I curse loudly.
James.
Could you make me a fighting roll?
Seven.
You feel yourself getting claws into your shoulders and you are dragged away.
Do any of us see this?
Because we've got two other options.
Well, that depends what sort of vocalisations you make.
Oh, get off me! I'm not giving you a piggyback!
Go on, pull off with you!
Carl takes a rifle and starts shooting.
Fair enough.
Yep, there are gunshots.
You see just a few milliseconds of Carl being bodily lifted by...
It looks like a skinless human with large pointed teeth and wicked claws.
I drop everything I'm holding except for my club,
and I'm going to just jump forward and give a wild swing above the level of Carl's head.
You'll be making me a fighting roll at minus six because it is pitch darkness.
That seems fair.
Minus four.
I might use a
re-roll on that.
That was a zero on my d10.
I'm going to re-roll it.
And a four, so 14.
Wow, alright.
Yeah, okay, that's a hit.
Roll me your damage, please.
Fourteen.
Oh, the eight explodes.
Because you are just, you're a huge, horrible bruiser.
Sixteen damage.
The club smashes into something and you hear a squelch.
You are now no longer being gripped by talons.
Oh, thanks a lot.
Oh, I've all flustered.
I've got a boil suite around.
Hang on.
Where are we and what are we seeing during this little...
You have heard a scream and then a kind of squelchy hit sound.
And then the sound of relieved Yorkshiremen.
Yes.
I will immediately drop my lantern,
begin to flee, realise that there's no light
because we're too deep, run back to grab my lantern.
At the same time, I'm going to
run forward with my gun
to try and help. The scene
that's illuminated is an old Yorkshireman
bleeding from the shoulders.
Horrifying. A large
southern man with a
club standing, looking very pleased
with himself. I'm looking around to see if I
can hit it again. You can see basically a flash of
red disappearing down one of the tunnels.
I heard it. Let's follow it.
Yeah?
No? Carl, what are we doing?
I'm furious. I'm going to get him. Come on.
Come on. Alright, I guess so.
I must have dropped me. Where are the originals? Where have they gone?
He begins patting himself down. Go on, Confuse.
You bugger. You've taken me
mints. Go on.
Could you... Tracking?
No, actually, notice rolls, please. Notice rolls.
From everyone?
Everyone.
Including people who are failing to flee
because they're too incompetent to flee.
Hey, it explodes.
14.
9.
14.
3.
Cool.
Just like a whole time.
4.
Bryn, you can pretty much hear where it's going
and follow it through the tunnels. Four. Bryn, you can pretty much hear where it's going and follow it
through the tunnels. Ben, you hear
what sounds like shouting from
the direction of the entrance.
Guys, I think the posse's here. I can hear shouting
at the entrance. And our
lovable coward was running
away, I believe. I wasn't aiming for lovable.
I was just aiming at coward. If it came out lovable,
that's great. Our hateable coward.
I have picked up my lantern and I am fleeing to that entrance
because, you know what, you're all great people,
but I'm not going to die for you.
Okay.
As you run, you can see the light of the entrance approaching.
And everything's fine.
A silhouette steps into it.
Am I able to tell anything more than a silhouette?
It has a wide-brimmed hat. I immediately
turn round and flee back into the cave.
Okay.
I respond to Cirillo's yell
of the posse is here by,
the best thing to do is get deeper in these caves.
Come on, went that way. Sure thing.
Okay. You follow it for a little
while. It looks like
most of these chambers are empty
from what you can see, and there is one other nest that you find. There's not as much skin in that one. It looks like most of these chambers are empty from what you can see, and there is
one other nest that you find.
There's not as much skin in that one. It looks like most
of the skin is in that strange wardrobe
that you found. Alex. Yes.
As you run back down,
in the light of your torch,
you can see something
is running towards you.
Something red and angry.
Please make me a guts roll.
I don't got no guts.
At minus two.
Now, Deadlands has actually quite a complicated fear roll system
because there is the fear level of the area
because everywhere is a different level of spooky.
This place is three spooky.
Not three spooky.
It goes all the way up to six spooky,
which is when the entire landscape
like hills are skulls
the road is made of bones
the trees are actually
this is just hang
how are the transport links in this area
is it affordable
I mean it depends on how many spikes you're happy to have
in your flesh while you travel
like six is basically a hellscape
southern rail so Alex is currently rolling to see if it's three spooky five you're happy to have in your flesh while you travel. Like, six is basically a hellscape. Southern Rail.
So Alex is currently rolling to see if it's
three spooky, five hellscape. Basically,
it's three spooky, so minus three.
You're a coward, so minus another two.
You do, however, have one point of
grit, so that's plus
one, because grit is how
numb you are to everything being horrible. So this is at
minus four. At minus four and I have to hit
four? You have to hit four. So you need an eight, essentially.
So it has to explode
or I lose.
Come on! He's got a six!
He's got a six! Okay, I really hope he rolls a one.
Come on! Come on!
And a four! He's got a ten!
So, yeah, there's a
skinless, angry, toothy claw
man running towards you and
strangely your adrenaline kicks in
rather than
going the other way. What do you do?
You are currently in the passageway
between the entrance and the
fork.
It is coming up from the fork
and the entrance is the silhouette of a man in a wide brimmed hat.
Oh it's a coward's nightmare!
No matter where I flee, I flee towards death.
I am going to...
Die.
Yes, yes, I am.
I am going to draw my gun, if possible,
and plant two shots in it
whilst continuing to run at it
and desperately try and run around it
in the narrow corridor, as ill-advised as that is.
Make me a shoot and roll.
Come on.
I can keep exploding these, right?
That's a thing that can happen.
I mean, in Savage Worlds, yes.
I got a five.
That's a hit.
Roll me your Derringer's Damage.
Okay, that's 2d6.
It's all right, guys.
I got this.
I'm going to save us all.
Well, it's already got 16, so Bryn still saved you if it dies.
11!
And they explode if you've rolled a 6.
Oh, okay.
6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and then the second roll on the 6 was a further 2, so 13.
13.
The bullets sink on the shoulder, which explodes,
spraying bits of flesh and ichor and just nastiness all over the walls.
It sort of tumbles.
It's not dead, and it's not stopping,
but it does mean you can just press yourself against the wall
and let it kind of scramble past you.
It's not trying to kill you anymore because you've hurt it.
That's fine.
I am going to push my luck because I'm that foolish a character.
And if possible, I'm going to try and swing the lantern at its head
as it goes by me.
All right.
That's a death snore.
I know a death snore.
Yeah, make me a fight and roll minus one
because it is an improvised weapon.
Fight and roll.
Five minus one.
I mean, you sort of shove the lantern in it,
which casts its jagged, horrible face
in all sorts of shadows.
That bit takes work.
Yeah, no, okay. You didn't get a real good look at it when it was coming. Now horrible face in all sorts of shadows. That made things worse! Yeah, no, okay!
You didn't get a real good look at it when it was coming.
Now you haven't. No, okay.
So you've made things worse for yourself.
That's good. Great. It is currently
running off towards the entrance.
I then proceed to try
and just run back to all of the other people who I know
won't kill me on sight. Okay.
Yep, you get back.
You get back into the tunnels.
Caw-caw! Caw-caw! Caw-caw!
With deeper in, right?
You haven't heard any real movement around
until someone runs in shouting caw-caw.
Caw-caw! Caw-caw!
I'm going to take a snapshot at the thing that runs in.
Make me a shoot-in?
In panic.
Is this with your big gun?
No, no, this is with the pistol.
This is with the pistol.
Please let the bird's death be you shooting me
Well, that's what happens when you burst into the room
With really scared people with guns
Yelling kick up
Yeah
Seven
Seven, that's a hit
Rom, your damage please
Seven
Seven, okay, what's your toughness?
My toughness is five
So that's enough to shake you
But not wound you. Basically
the chutes clips right past
your ear.
Oh jeez.
Sorry Fletcher.
What are you doing? You shouldn't sneak up on people
like that. Shut up.
I shot it. It's not dead
and the sheriff's here and
the sheriff's at the entrance and the creature's between us
and the sheriff which is a good thing and I shot it which the creature's between us and the sheriff, which is a good thing,
and a shot at it,
which is a good thing,
but the creature's there,
which is a bad thing,
and it's a creature
and it's got no face
and it's there
and it's at the front.
Right, well,
how many of them are there?
Is there just this one
that's been wounded
or are there others around?
Oh, there were two nests, right?
Well, two chambers was implied,
unless the first one
was a second homeowner
and maybe had a lodger or something.
Do you think it's breeding?
Let's go back to the entrance and see what's going on.
No, no, no, you can't because the sheriff's at the entrance.
Or at least something like a sheriff.
We'll go back towards the entrance and see what's coming.
There's just one of them. There's still four of us.
Yes.
Okay.
We won't engage unless we have to.
Okay. Even if we do, engage unless we have to. Okay.
Even if we do, it's cornered, you know?
It's a narrow passage, there's four of us with guns,
and the sheriff at the other end.
I load my gun and place myself as central between everyone else as possible.
So you're starting to head back up towards the entrance.
Yeah, much more cautiously than before.
Who's going first?
Fletch is going first. Not him. Yeah, we'll shuffle round than before. Who's going first? Fletcher's going first.
Not him.
Yeah, we'll shuffle round and push him to the front.
Well, volunteer Fletcher, you're booking up there.
When I first met you, I thought you were just a yellow-bellied streak of yellow belly.
But it turns out, actually, you've got spine.
And I think that's not a mixed metaphor.
On you go.
I've got an idea.
Carl, hold the lantern.
All right, yeah. On you go. I've got an idea. Carl, hold the lantern. Alright, yeah, on you go.
I'm going to grab my rifle and rest
it on Fletcher's shoulder and just
sight down it as we walk up so that he's
stabilising it for me.
Like a mobile Mad Max. Yeah.
Fletcher, wise enough not to pick
the fight, moves the lantern to his left hand
having already reloaded his gun, pockets
his gun and then puts his finger
in his ear next to that
gun, because he's a coward, he's not
an idiot. As you head up
towards the entrance, you can start to
hear voices drifting down.
Abel!
Abel, you say you should hurt someone?
Yeah.
Can't see much, though.
Gunshots,
was it? Yeah. Don't see much though. Gunshots, right, was it?
Yeah. Dark, though.
Well, you've been down here about five minutes. You ain't gone any deeper?
I ain't gone any deeper. Spooky down there.
Don't know what, some of the critters might be in there.
Well, we ain't after critters. We're after murderers.
Alright. Well, the others here?
Yeah.
Hey!
Anybody down there?
As quiet... Don't all look to me like that!
On audio, just the entire group look at me.
As quietly as I possibly can,
and I actually mean that,
I turn meaningfully to look to everyone else
and mouth...
I put one hand over his mouth
and gesture to the other members of the party
that we should cover the lanterns.
I do so.
Yep.
Got 20 angry men out here.
Can comb every inch of this damn cave
lest you come out peaceful like
last chance.
He said last chance?
That means there's no more chances
after this. So can we
see him? Is he still like silhouetted against the mouth
of the cave? You are not currently
at a stage where you can. There's no line of sight.
No. Otherwise they would have seen your
lanterns. Oh right yeah of course. I shout
come and get us if you want us!
Carl
drops to one knee and resets himself and he
aims up the... Have I still stood here
as human meat shield?
No, no. So I will position
the lanterns on the floor, either side of the passageway,
uncover them and gesture to
everyone to back off a little. Okay. If people will
allow it, I'll uncover my lantern and point it immediately
behind us in towards the dark
terrifying tunnel. So I'm
going down on a knee as well with my rifle
and, yeah, shaking slightly.
Let them come into the light first.
What do you think, Abel?
Well, I reckon if we
head down there, they got
the advantage. It's a ball and that.
I say we dive right up the entrance.
Leave them here.
Zeke, what do we do?
Sounds like a decent plan, Abel.
Let's do that.
Come on, Carl. You've been doing this the longest.
What do we do? Right, well, if there's one
thing that I, as a true-bodied Yorkshireman, know,
it's the dangers of cave-ins
in mining scenarios.
We do not want to get
stuck down here. Okay, so
we're going to rush on the fleet?
Fine, let's rush them then.
Okay. Hey, Fletcher,
you go first. No, it's okay.
I've got your back.
I start running.
I'll follow Zeke then.
There are 20 of them
outside, all armed.
And as you run, Abel dives to the side and shouts something.
And they all start shooting.
You are all shot to pieces.
And as they turn to ride off, leave your mouldering bodies for the Arizona sun,
Uncle Abel just readjusts his face ever so slightly.
Should have fleed, fled, floated anywhere.
Just fleeing as an action.
To be fair, gut-shotting the sheriff kind of signed a lot of your death warrants.
I think all of our death warrants, it sounds like.
Thank you all for joining us for this spooky, skinny...
Massacre.
Massacre.
Because our Halloween episode that ends with all of the players alive and sane
is not a good one.
And don't even get me started on the characters.
Pretty funny because I implied I'd killed you all.
Bye guys!
Bye! Rusty Quill Gaming is a podcast distributed by RustyQuill.com
and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial International License.
Today's episode was recorded and produced by Alexander J. Newell.
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Wearing human skin and dancing around, that's madness.
Even if it were doing a waltz, the most appropriate dance for this time of the morning, at this stage, in the season, that would be ludicrous.
You'll be saying I was wearing a fancy top hat and tails next, and toasting the Macarena.
There's not as much skin in that one.
It looks like most of the skin is in that strange wardrobe that you found.
It's like a very sinister episode of Mr. Ben.
That's so mean.
I mean, to be honest,
all episodes of Mr. Ben are sinister if you overthink them.
Mr. Ben being a kids TV show
in Britain from years and years
and years ago. Just, you know.
Where a very middle class man in a bowler hat
puts on other hats in a costume shop
and becomes all sorts of
spacemen, knights
and even at some points
a cowboy.
It's Mr. Ben!
What? How deep is this? What a twist! It's Mr. Ben! What? How deep is this rabbit hole?
What a twist!
It's not a faceless thing.
It just doesn't have the skin
bit of a face. I stand by my panic
statement of it does not have a face.
It doesn't have a moustache.
Eww!
This is the Old West.
So, correct me if I'm wrong.
Mr. James.
My backup was to pretend to shoot myself with my own gun in the shoulder,
tie myself up and claim I was a hostage.
That's quite a good plan.
That would have been lovely.
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