The Magnus Archives - RQ Original Feed Drop - Cry Havoc! Ask Questions Later

Episode Date: September 30, 2024

This month we are featuring a feed drop of a brilliant RQ Original show Cry Havoc! Ask Questions Later. Set in ancient Rome Cry Havoc! Ask Questions Later is a dramatic comedy of power politics, whirl...wind romances, and running fast to get nowhere. Introduction and outro by Billie Hindle. Listen to Cry Havoc! Ask Questions Later on The Rusty Quill website, on Acast, or listen wherever you get your podcasts.Transcripts: https://bit.ly/3MNrckc  Content Notes:Abuse of Power (recurring theme)Vicarious EmbarrassmentThreats of violence/murderWar/WarfareInnuendo/Sexual ReferencesAlcohol & Alcohol useManipulationHistorical SexismSFX: Misophonia (eating/drinking/coughing/belching/kissing), crowds, stabbingCreated by David K. BarnesDirected by Amani ZardoeExecutive Producers Alexander J Newall & April SumnerWritten by David K BarnesProduced by Natalie Winter, Katherine Lindeman, Natasha Johnston, and April SumnerCreative Consultation by Amani ZardoeHistorical Consultation by Dr. Emma SouthonSpecial Thanks to Arienne KingSensitivity Consultation by Salt and SageFeaturingKazeem Tosin Amore as Mark Antony Harry Roebuck as Gaius Octavius Caesar Sarah Agha as CharmianLara Sawalha as CleopatraSarah Lambie as OctaviaAndy Secombe as LepidusBeth Eyre as FulviaAhmed Aljabry as PtolemyPip Gladwin as DrususMark Nicholson as RufusDialogue Editor – James Austin, Lowri Ann DaviesSound Designer - Tessa Vroom, Meg McKeller, Katharine SeatonMastering Editor - Catherine RinellaMusic and Scoring by Sam Jones (listen to the album here)Art by Guerrilla CommunicationsSFX from dynamique, tennisers, caitlynbananas, strangy, waweee, matt_beer, ALLANZ10D, mlsulli, CalGre, Garuda1982, https://freesound.org/people.klankbeeld/ (4.0), L.Finck, Canukfa (3.0), Edulacava, vrlmrtnz, kyles, craigglenday, Paseka, deleted_user_2104797, DylanTheFish, HerbertBoland (CC 4.0), IENBA (CC 4.0), lyre music and additional sfx by Katharine Seaton, Catherine Rinella, and previously credited artists from Freesound.orgSupport us on Patreon at https://patreon.com/rustyquillCheck out our merchandise available at https://www.rustyquill.com/supportCry Havoc! Ask Questions Later is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill Ltd. and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share alike 4.0 International Licence. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi there! Billy Hindle, the voice of Alice Dyer in the Magnus Protocol. Today we are sharing with you the first episode of our very own Rusty Quill original show, Cry Havoc Ask Questions Later. Cry Havoc is a political sitcom written by David K. Barnes set in ancient Rome. Julius Caesar is dead, but Rome's new leaders just can't get along. Gaius, Caesar's heir, is a stressed control freak. Mark Antony is charismatic but deeply irresponsible. Rome is on the verge of collapse and they
Starting point is 00:00:30 desperately need to schmooze Queen Cleopatra of Egypt to try and save it. There's also Gaius's sister Octavia. She's meant to be a respectable Roman lady but she drinks too much, sleeps with other women and, most scandalous of all, she likes theatre. Her company, the Palatine Players, stage comedies making fun of her brother, and a new actress has caught Octavia's eye. You may recognise some familiar voice talents from The Magnus Protocol in Cry Havoc, including Sarah Lambie, Kazim Tohsin Amore, Ryan Hope Veer Anderson, Harry Roebuck, Ellie Dickens, and more.
Starting point is 00:01:03 You can listen to more episodes of this series by searching for Cry Havoc Ask Questions Later wherever you listen to podcasts or by clicking the link in the show notes. For more information visit www.rustyquill.com. Have fun and enjoy the episode! Not long ago, in a distant land, there lived a warrior of great and noble deeds. He wished to rule the people of his city as their king. But his friends didn't think it was a good idea. So they killed him. Oh, that's right, isn't it? Broadly.
Starting point is 00:01:53 I don't want to get the facts wrong. Don't worry about those. Just tell me the story. All right. Well, they ran away. the killers I mean, to the plains of Philippi. There they raised an army. They knew they'd soon be followed, for two men sought revenge against their crime. Two men forged in opposites. Opposites the first strong of muscle the second strong of mine United in common cause and what did these two men do? basically
Starting point is 00:02:34 They won We did it! Alright, alright. Now, you know I'm not much of a speaker. I never even passed my Latin. But, if any occasion deserves a few words, it's this one. Because you boys were incredible out there. I mean, that was peak performance! Rome is proud of each and every one of you here today, and that goes double for me.
Starting point is 00:03:17 This was no ordinary war. We fought no foreign enemy. These were Romans, like you and me. Some may have even been our friends once. I wouldn't have blamed you for finding this one a struggle if you'd put down your swords and said, this far and no further. But each of you put his duty first. You fought like lions. And Brutus may have been an honorable man, but we bloody well showed him a thing or two. Didn't we, eh?
Starting point is 00:03:58 My old mate Julius is looking down upon us, and he saw justice done this day. And here standing with me at my side is his very own son. He fought with us. He's your friend and mine. He's Gaius Octavius Caesar! Hello everyone. Oh son of the divine Julius Caesar, inheritor of his titles and estates, have you anything to add on this day of victory? Me? Yes.
Starting point is 00:04:36 Er... Anything on this august occasion? Er... No. Anything on this august occasion? Errr... No. No, I think you're just about covered everything. Yep. What's the matter? There's just so many of them just looking at me.
Starting point is 00:05:00 And? I've... I've lost my voice. You lose more than your voice if you don't say something inspiring. Well, go on, give me some! Err, that is to say... I have nothing else to add, but... Well done! You... men... Well done.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Yes. Well, the son of the Divine Julius has spoken. And now that's done with, we celebrate. Who wants to go and get hammered? Oh, that went well, I thought. Yeah, sure. What a plump. Rome's enemies lay vanquished in the field, and there were no more left to fight. Mark Antony and Gaius Octavius had won. Rome was theirs to rule. And that's when their troubles would really begin.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Rusty Quill presents Cryhavik Ask Questions Later Episode 1 After Caesar The armies returned to Rome in triumph, and there was much rejoicing. General Mark Antony embraced his loving wife, the mother of a Roman woman. Fulvia! Mark! Oh Mark, I missed you so! And I missed you my love. How'd it go out there? Fine, it was dead easy.
Starting point is 00:07:17 You'd have loved it. Lots of big, handsome men working up a sweat. No problems with the army. They'll do whatever I tell them. So it's over then. Room is ours. Yep. Ah! She can't keep her hands off me, lads!
Starting point is 00:07:33 Ha ha ha ha! The Senate's already ratified it. As from now, I'm running the show. Yes! Finally! We can get things done around here. Just you and me. Yes, finally! We can get things done around here. Just you and me. Oh, Mark. I mean, it's a bit more complicated.
Starting point is 00:07:52 But basically, yes. What do you mean? Are you in charge or not? Yeah, absolutely. Me and Gaius. You and Gaius? Yeah, Julie's boy. I know who he is you said you were going to kill him no yeah I know yes I am thank you you promised me you kill him
Starting point is 00:08:19 I can't do that why not because Julie was a mate of mine. You don't kill your best mate's son. No matter how annoying he is. Adopted son. You owe him nothing. Oh, he's harmless. He's a whelp. There's nothing he can do to us. Kill him. No.
Starting point is 00:08:36 We're still a republic. I can't just take it over by myself, can I? How do you know if you won't try? Julie tried and look what happened to him. Is that what you want from me? Lying on the forum with swords in my back? Thank you very much. You should remember. You deserve it. Rome deserves it.
Starting point is 00:08:54 Quite frankly, I deserve it. Look, look, look. Don't worry. It's all working exactly as we wanted it. I am in charge. I'm Mark Antony. They love me. And Gaius? The boy's a washout. He's got no clue at all. You wait. I've got him wrapped around my little finger, just like I'm wrapped around yours.
Starting point is 00:09:19 You'd better be right. When I've ever been wrong. They keep kissing me. They're still watching. No, they're not. Well, pretend they are. The celebrations continued long into the night. Some say the Romans go to war so they can justify the orgy afterwards. Some say? I do, yeah. And the more blood spilt, the more they enjoy it. Sort of like a fetish.
Starting point is 00:09:56 But one man sat alone, away from the throne. Gaius Octavius didn't know how to party. He only knew how to think. No... No, this doesn't make any sense. What did it say in the other one? Gaius! What? Oh, hello Mark. What are you doing? Come and join the gang! Oh, uh, later maybe, later. Mark, come and take a look at this. Look. You're working?
Starting point is 00:10:28 Yeah, I thought I could get a head start. Look what I found. It's maddening. Can I sit? Sure, let me just... My son's around here somewhere. I told him to spend the night with his grandparents. Fulvia and I want some privacy tonight. Ha ha ha ha ha!
Starting point is 00:10:42 Goodo. You see here, I found an executive summary from our governor in Syria, and in it he says... Have some wine. What? Wine. Oh, thank you. Anyway, he says the governor, they're paying far more in interest to the publicani than we're actually making back in taxation. Really? Yes, and they're still run up debts like you wouldn't believe. Gaius. And the magistrate's collecting a backhander. I mean, we have to stop this. It's appalling. Gaius! Put your papers down and understand one simple thing. We did it. What? Rome. Us. We did it. Rome. Us. We did it. We did it.
Starting point is 00:11:26 We did it. We did it. I guess we did it, didn't we? Ha ha ha ha. Now you're thinking straight. You know why they're all happy tonight? Those people, our people. You know why?
Starting point is 00:11:44 Tell me. Because we get stuff done, my friend. We get stuff done. That's what we do. We're unstoppable. Well, I'll drink to that. To the Republic. If you like. Do you think Caesar... I mean my father, my new father, still feels weird by the way. You'll get used to it. Do you think he really wanted to be a... king? Doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:12:10 No? No. What does matter is the scum who killed him are dead and in the ground, and we're still here. How many did you kill? Eh? The enemy, how many? Oh, uh...
Starting point is 00:12:24 I lost count. You? 269. Nice. What is? Never mind, young guys. It's all over now. No more civil wars for us. You're not much of a fighter on the quiet, are you? Well... It's okay, you don't have to be. You're the son of Caesar, right? The men respect that. Yes. But I know how you feel. You do? Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:54 I was new once. Brom's a tough world. Hard to be the bloke who doesn't get his head kicked in. I suppose so, yes. But look, for whatever reason, Julie adopted you to be her son. And that means something. I'm not sure if you're aware of this, be the bloke who doesn't get his head kicked in? I suppose so, yes. But look, for whatever reason, Julie adopted you to be her son and that means something.
Starting point is 00:13:10 I don't know what or what, but it does! And sure, as his divine spirit is looking over us, I just want you to know that I'm looking out for you too. It's going to be okay. Thanks, Mark. That means a lot. No worries worries friend.
Starting point is 00:13:26 And in the days ahead, when it's all going on, doing this and that, well you know, you can leave it to me. If you ever need to. All this, it's never too much trouble, right? Yeah. Good. Now come on, it's time to enjoy yourself. Plenty of fish in the sea looking for a hot strong war hero tonight.
Starting point is 00:13:48 Gaius? I was just thinking... It can wait till tomorrow. It's simply that... No, come on, we've won. Right now, you and me are the most powerful men in the world. We own the entire Republic of Rome. Yes... So? What are we going to do with it?
Starting point is 00:14:15 You never met Julius, did you? No. Well, I served him dates once, but we never spoke. What was he like, if you don't mind me asking? Caesar? He was... honest, in his own way. Do you think he'd have made a good king? The Romans don't believe in them. To be honest, nor do I. On that subject, when is our visitor arriving? I believe their ship docked nearby not too long ago.
Starting point is 00:14:52 Should I leave you to prepare? Oh, no, no. I'm ready for him. Would you like a honey cake? Are you sure? Thank you. Resume your story. It helps me to think. Where were we? The morning after. It was a new dawn for Rhône, free from internal strife. Gaius Octavius and Mark Antony were due to meet to begin their governance in earnest, and Gaius was well prepared.
Starting point is 00:15:35 He doubtless spoke of it with his sister, Octavia, known to all as the Epitome of Virtue. Hey, Gaius. Morning. Oh, don't talk too much. as the epitome of virtue. Hey guys. Morning. Oh, don't talk too much. I'm still a bit trashed. What time is it? Sundial's outside if you want to look.
Starting point is 00:15:57 Didn't see you out celebrating last night. Surprise, surprise. Can't even show up for your own party. I was there. Briefly. You do know it was all for you? It was for the armies of Rome and their commanders. Including you? But mainly Mark.
Starting point is 00:16:14 Well, of course, they like him. Where's the new girl? She's meant to have tidied up in here. Look at my desk, it's filthy! She's still in bed. In bed? Yes. Leave her, Gaius. We had a very long night.
Starting point is 00:16:30 I see. I think she'll work out. Not interested, to be honest. Thank you, Octavia. Oh, don't be such a prude. You'd understand if you could only find yourself a nice... to anyone. Perhaps I'm pickier than you are.
Starting point is 00:16:43 It'd be impossible not to be, wouldn't it? What is all this anyway? Reading anything good? Corsican tax revenue for the past five years. Very important. I'm sure it is. I know how your heart leaps at the sight of a finely written receipt. I have responsibilities now.
Starting point is 00:17:00 You may not have noticed. Oh, and I found this amongst my papers if you could keep your hobbies away from my work what is it the palletime players began their new season with a riotous revival of plotuses comedy classic our scenario or the one with the asses which in this critics opinion has really been blah blah blah blah blah. No no no, keep reading! It's a good review. The One with the Asses? I hope you mean Donkeys. Well see the play and find out. We've been doing ever so well lately.
Starting point is 00:17:35 Sell out nights across the board. Though I sometimes think we rest on our laurels. Pardon the phrase. It's just a theatre company. It's my theatre company. No it isn't. I pay for it, that makes it my company. You wanted me to be a patron of the arts and I'm doing it. It's the wrong sort of art. I should have had that bunch of parasites shut down years ago.
Starting point is 00:17:57 You can't. They're too popular. But they're always slipping in jokes about me. Yeah naturally. They get the biggest laughs. Gaius, if you give the people entertainment and a way to blow off steam now and then then you make them restless. You make them happy. I'm sure I'm doing more for Rome with my
Starting point is 00:18:14 plays than you are with all your dull reports. Stop it that's my entry. What is it? Hello there, only me. Oh, Lepidus! Good morning. Your servants let me in. Not disturbing you, am I? No, not at all. Please, make yourself at home. We'll be setting up in the dining room. Ooh, going to eat, are we? Er, no. Sorry. Oh, shame. Still, raring to go, getting stuck in what? That's right. In you go, won't be a moment.
Starting point is 00:18:49 Lepidus? Seriously, Lepidus? He's in the gang? He was a key part of our victory. But he's such a fool! Even fools have their uses, especially when they're well connected. Does Mark know about this? He'll hit the roof. He'll tear the old man apart. No he won't.
Starting point is 00:19:09 He knows already. I think. I'd bother with Mark anyway. He's popular, but he doesn't know the first thing about government. Now that isn't fair. I spoke to him last night. He may be full of himself, yes, but he cares about Rome. And he's taken this very seriously. I know he is.
Starting point is 00:19:27 Oh. So, why isn't he here yet? Mark Antony was nearby. He'd been waylaid by friends, that was all. Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, What I do I do for Rome When are we getting paid What's that? It's just After the campaign we just had and everything you see sir None of us are wealthy men and we were sort of looking forward to getting what's owed to us. What's owed to you? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:27 Like, the rest of our wages, and the bonus you mentioned. We all want to buy some land to call our own, you see. Settle down, run farms, raise our families. Right! Yes! And, er, not being funny or anything. But there's not much food kicking about. And we're all hungry.
Starting point is 00:20:49 Yeah, you can hardly even find bread these days. Well yes of course, sir. Wages, land, food. Goes without saying. Yeah. So, when do you reckon we might get all that? Er... We know you won't let us down, sir.
Starting point is 00:21:09 No, no. I will not do that. No, definitely not. It's just that... He's letting us down! No, no, no, no, no, no! On the contrary, my friends! On the contrary! You see, I'm going to Earth. I'm going into that meeting right now to, the first of a new and improved Republic to sit with, excuse me, with Gaius Octavius,
Starting point is 00:21:45 the son of the divine Julius Caesar. And I will see to it personally that you all get your money and food and everything you need immediately, straight away. Now, how's that sound? Okay, that worked. Now, which way am I going? As the General sought out the home of Gaius Octavius, his new colleagues awaited him with eager anticipation. Oh, my aunt was asking after you. Sorry? My aunt, Claudia, she wanted to know if you were keeping well. Oh. Good. I said you were.
Starting point is 00:22:52 Yes. Hope that's alright. You know, saying that. Sure. Ah, good. Thought I might have said too much. Careless talk costs lives and all that. Huh? Huh? Huh?
Starting point is 00:23:08 I... Sure, yeah. Good thinking. Finally! I swear, this hill isn't normally here. Ah, Mark. Good morning. There he is, my boy!
Starting point is 00:23:19 Good to see you, friend. Exciting, yeah? All this? Exciting. Yes it is. You know, Lepidus, of course. What? Oh yeah, morning. Sorry. That's alright. Grand. So, erm... Take a seat. Yes. Now that you mention it. Cheers!
Starting point is 00:23:48 Any of them? Anyone, yep. Wow. That's better. Okay, I think I'll start. Oh, do help yourself to refreshments. And there's a bowl of grapes there if anyone's hungry. Aha! I'll take those.
Starting point is 00:24:08 Oh. Absolutely starving. Blimey. Um, Mark? Hmm? I'm not trying to put you on the spot here, but are you drunk? Well, I might be. Who can say? I mean, we can, because you look really drunk.
Starting point is 00:24:34 I can keep up with the chat, don't you worry. The cogs are worrying. Are you sure? Yeah, crack on. Okay, well, greetings both of you to what I'm sure will be the first of many stimulating and productive meetings about the running of our glorious republic. Yes! Stirring stuff! Oh yes, top drawer! Thank you.
Starting point is 00:25:00 We are, er, we are great men. I, Gaius Octavius, son of the divine Julius. Mark Anthony, General of the armies of Rome. That's me. And Aemilius Lepidus, without whom we could never have raised the capital to raise the armies. The Roman state owes you a great deal. Oh, pleasure, pleasure. Nice to be involved.
Starting point is 00:25:28 The future prosperity of the Roman Republic now rests between the three of us. And we will succeed! Wait, hold on. This bloke's working with us? Yes. You mean he's in charge? Like us? What did you think he was doing here? I thought he was the secretary. Like, taking the minutes.
Starting point is 00:25:49 No. Well, I can do that too, if it'd be useful. No, no, that's fine. Mark, we agreed that Lepidus would join us. That's what the Senate ratified yesterday. We're a triumvirate. A what? Triumvirate.
Starting point is 00:26:02 Three of us, to make sure that supreme power never gets concentrated in one person. They think it's safer that way. Three of us? Yes. Are you alright, Mark? Carry on. Okay. Well, as the ruling triumvirate of the Republic of Rome, we face many challenges, as we all know.
Starting point is 00:26:26 Mmm, yes. We must strive to meet them, for the good of the people of Rome, and also, to be fair, for us. So... Land! What? They want to buy land. The soldiers. And food. Money and food. Right. Well, that is actually at the top of our agenda today. Thank you, Mark. Welcome. Thanks to Lepidus, we covered the initial cost of our most recent campaign against the killers of my late, divine father.
Starting point is 00:27:00 Lovely man. Yep. But now we need to pay off the rest of it to the tune of... approximately 300 million Sisterzis. How much? It's a big army, it costs a lot. Hmm. What have we got in the coffers? Not much. In fact, not only are we low on money, we are also facing a massive food shortage. Oh dear.
Starting point is 00:27:23 You're joking. No. So, while we tackle that grown problem, we're also looking for a way to settle our account with the armies before they get... restless. Lepidus, do you have any ideas on that front? Ah, now. I was thinking about this and, erm... No, I haven't. Nothing.
Starting point is 00:27:45 Okay. Sorry. No, I haven't. Nothing. OK. Sorry. No, it's a tough problem. I suppose Rome wasn't built in a day, huh? Ha ha ha ha ha! Was it? Look, the way I see it, we need stuff, right? And we don't have it.
Starting point is 00:28:03 Correct. Then, let's take it from people who do. Simple. Well, actually, as it happens, I've been looking through our treaties with neighbouring kingdoms and I think Egypt is the best shout. Done. As we can see from the treaty, they've got grain and gold aplenty and they might even have land for any men who want to live there. Oh, living abroad abroad nice idea. So I move that we open diplomatic channels with Queen Cleopatra
Starting point is 00:28:31 immediately. All in favor? Diplomatic channels? I'm not talking about having a talk. I'm talking about not talking and acting instead. I'm sure Cleopatra will be amenable to our needs after some I'm sure Cleopatra will be amenable to our needs after some... some polite conversation. That Egyptian harlot? You can't trust her! The Egyptian Queen? Yes we can. Mate, we've garrisons in Egypt. We can take what we need by force. We had to recall our men from Egypt to fight at Philippi. Well send them back! We can win any war. Our armies are unbeatable. These would be the armies we haven't paid yet for the last war they fought for us.
Starting point is 00:29:08 I don't suppose they'd take it on credit? I doubt it. I say if we want the resources of Egypt, then diplomatic overtures to Cleopatra is the best way forward at the present time. All in favour? May one speak? Please. Everyone's opinion here is equally important. Go ahead. Your idea stinks. Right. We are Romans. We don't ask. If we need something, we take it. That's the way it's always been.
Starting point is 00:29:37 And I'm sure it will be again. But right now, we've got to regroup, to rebuild, so we can write this out. And how long will that take? I expect a few months. That's why we need to start... Months? Those men out there won't wait months. They need paying now. Mark, Rome hasn't any money.
Starting point is 00:29:54 It hasn't any food. We have nothing to offer these men unless we can... You're worse than the Senate. Talk, talk, talk. Where's the action? Where you going? Mark? I say, is the meeting over? I the action? Where are you going? What did I say? Is the meeting over? I'll tell you where I'm going.
Starting point is 00:30:09 I'm going to the middle of that forum and I'm going to talk to the men and I'm going to tell them that we're invading Egypt now. What? No ifs, no buts and that's a guarantee from all three of us. You can't do that. Gaius, you have no idea what I can do. No, I mean you can't go out there. Look at you, you've pissed yourself!
Starting point is 00:30:28 Have I? Oh what? I don't believe this. Oh no! Has anyone got a towel? Yeah, use the treaty. Don't use the treaty. Mate, I've got to use something, it's all over the floor. Hey, Gaius, can I borrow you for a second?
Starting point is 00:30:46 Not now Octavia. It's quite urgent though, see there's a mob of soldiers outside and they're getting impatient. Oh gods. Do you want me to pass a message? Yeah, tell them I'm not here. Mac, we've got to deal with this. Tell them to go away then. We can't.
Starting point is 00:31:02 But we're in charge, don't they know that? They'll do what we tell. But we're in charge, don't they know that? They'll do what we tell them because we are in charge. Have you pissed on our floor? Clearly yes. Now find some towels. If the meeting's over I thought I might head off for an early lunch. Incredible! The situation sounds worse than I'd ever dare to hope. And is all of this really true? I've filled in a few gaps, but I drew upon the reports of our spies in Rome. The Triumvirs intend to seek aid from us. It can only be a matter of time. Oh, thank you, Charmian. You have a knack for bringing these matters to life.
Starting point is 00:31:50 Makes it so much easier to know what to do. My queen is too kind. I've always enjoyed telling stories. You've got a real gift. I shall make full use of it. And if I'm not mistaken, it sounds like we finally have company. Trust him to be late. You'll do the honours, won't you?
Starting point is 00:32:13 My lady. What is going on around here? I demand... Silence! You kneel in the presence of the Almighty, beloved by her father and her people. Abase yourself before the infinite majesty of the rightful Pharaoh of Egypt, the living goddess and our queen, Cleopatra. I know that! I'm her husband! Toll me, dear. I'm so sorry to get you out of bed like this. Oh, it must have been quite the surprise to you and whomever or whatever you were sharing it with get me out of bed
Starting point is 00:32:49 You've dragged me all the way to Greece. I was still in Egypt a week ago Well, I wasn't cutting my holiday short just because of you holiday You've never taken a day off in your life. You take more than enough for both of us Charmian, how many was it? Too many to count. Not a good look for a king, is it? Not a good look at all. You can't treat me like this. I am Egypt's king. I outrank you. You're committing treason. I hope you know that. I do. But here we are. What do you want from me? From you.
Starting point is 00:33:26 Nothing. You're of no use to me. To Egypt. Or to anyone. I'd have a mind to leave you alone, but you're always whining and causing a scene. Or plotting to remove the Queen. Yes. Because you're right.
Starting point is 00:33:43 I don't take a holiday without cause. I left Egypt to see what you'd do, and you rather took the bait. I don't know what you mean. But your conspirators do. They're all dead. So instead of keeping you hanging around, I thought it best if I didn't.
Starting point is 00:34:04 But, but, but I'm your brother! Yes, marrying one's brother… never my favourite part of the job. Still, with you gone, I won't have to do it ever again, will I? You're going to have me executed? No, I believe if you want something done, you should do it yourself. Good. That was simple enough. Have his body dumped in the sea. Of course, my lady. Remove it!
Starting point is 00:34:47 in the sea. Of course, my lady. Remove it! And now, a change of scenery. Shall I instruct the captain to ready our ship for Egypt? No, we're not returning home just yet. We're going to Italy. Italy? Really? We mustn't keep our Roman friends waiting, must we? Matters like these require the personal touch. Is it wise for you to return there so soon? After Caesar's death? Your concern is noted, Charmian, but unnecessary. I feel quite able to face Rome once again.
Starting point is 00:35:20 After all, it's time we all knew who's really in charge. Cry Havoc Ask Questions Later is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share-Alike 4.0 International License. The series is created by David K. Barnes and directed by Amani Zardou. This episode was written by David K. Barnes. It was edited by James Austin, Lori Ann Davis, Tessa Vroom, Meg Nikela, Catherine Seaton, and Catherine Rinella, with scoring by Sam Jones.
Starting point is 00:36:01 Today's episode features Kazim Tosin Amore, Harry Robach, Lara Sawalha, Sarah Agha, Sarah Lambey and Andrew Seacom with additional voices from Ahmed El-Jabri, Mark Nicholson and Pip Gladwin. Cry Havoc Ask Questions Later is produced by Natalie Winter, Catherine Lindemann and production manager Natasha Johnston with executive producers Alexander Jane Newell and April Sumner. To subscribe, view associated materials or join our Patreon, visit RustyQuill.com. Rate and review us online. Tweet us at The Rusty Quill.
Starting point is 00:36:40 Visit us on Facebook or email us at mail at RustyQuill.com. Thanks for listening. Music Music If you enjoyed this episode, you can find all 20 episodes by searching for Cry Havoc Ask Questions Later, wherever you find podcasts or by clicking the link in the show notes. The whole series is available to listen to ad free on RustyQuill's Patreon. Visit www.rustyquill.com for more information.
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