The Mel Robbins Podcast - 3 Ways To Brainwash Yourself for Success & A More Meaningful Life

Episode Date: April 1, 2024

In today’s episode, you’ll learn 3 surprising steps to help you unlock the unlimited power of your mind, grounded in exciting research.You were meant to see this today.There is a reason you need to listen.You can feel inspired, energized, and in control again, if you know how to turn on your mind’s superpowers.Your mind has unlimited potential, and there are larger possibilities available to you, but you haven’t been taught how to unlock them.YET.Wouldn’t it be amazing if you had a sense that life was conspiring to help you?That there are signs that you are on the right path if you know how to look for them?That things are working out for you? You deserve to live a life filled with meaning and purpose. Today you’ll learn 3 ways to make that happen.This episode is a companion to Mel's brand new free training, Make It Happen. This training is designed to help you make your next 6 months extraordinary.  It includes a 29 page workbook and 2 video trainings that use the latest research to help you get clear about what you want and create a plan to make it happen.And the cool part? It takes less than a minute for you to get started. Just sign up at melrobbins.com/makeithappenIf you liked this episode, listen to this one next: This One Study Will Change How You Think About Your Entire LifeFor more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page. Connect with Mel: Get Mel’s brand new free course Make It Happen (which comes with a 29 page workbook and 2 exclusive video trainings)Watch the episodes on YouTubeFollow Mel on Instagram The Mel Robbins Podcast InstagramMel's TikTok Disclaimer

Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I'm so glad you tuned in today because you're going to learn three ways to brainwash yourself for greater success and a more meaningful life. And I use the word brainwash on purpose, because I'm going to teach you a system that will help you unlock the power of your mind. I consider this a superpower. I use it in my business. I use it in my personal life. I have taught these three steps to tens of thousands of people.

You want more success. You deserve to live a meaningful life? And today, it's your turn to learn three simple steps to brainwash yourself in a positive way. Hey, it's your friend Mel. I am so glad you are here and ready to learn how to brainwash yourself for success and more meaning in life. And it is such an honor to spend time with you and teach this to you.

Welcome to the Mel Robbins family. I love that you're interested in this topic and that you're taking time for yourself to learn how to bring more success and more meaning into your life. That's incredibly cool. And I can't wait to teach you these three steps to brainwash yourself in a very positive way and unlock the power of your mind and your spirit. And we're going to be tapping into really cool research from the University of Virginia,

as well as my own deeply personal and professional experience using the three steps in my own life and business to unlock more success, more meaning. And I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but I find that there is something profound that is available to you and me. That there's this like deeper experience to feel in the remarkable thing we call life. You know, the fact is you do have the ability

to tap into things that you can't see. You have the ability to create things and feel things that you can't explain. Wouldn't it be amazing if every day you just had this sense that life or the universe, that it was all conspiring to help you? That there are signs that yes, you are on the right path. Things are working out. Well, the research says that it is possible

to go through your life and have a much more meaningful experience. In fact, there is this brand new study, I was so excited when I saw this, that was published in Frontiers in Psychology, and the study is titled, I mean, check out this title, An Underexplored Pathway to Life Satisfaction. And you wanna know what that study looked at?

It dug into the topic of synchronicity and how creating more synchronicities in your life is a pathway to life satisfaction. And that's exactly what you're gonna learn to do today. I'm gonna teach you three steps to create more synchronicity to tap into this extraordinary power that you have, to create more success, to experience more meaning. And so let's just start with what is synchronicity?

Well, synchronicity is basically one of those moments that you just can't explain. They're kind of magical. But you immediately have a moment of synchronicity, and it gives you this sense that, wow, I'm being guided. Like the universe has got its hand on my back. You know, I kind of describe these moments like a holy shit moment, where you're thinking of your friend from 20 years ago and a minute later, oh my gosh, there they are, they're texting or calling you, or you're in a business meeting.

Have you ever had this happen? You're pitching a new client and you find out that they're from your same home town. Don't you love that stuff? In fact, there's a caterer that I use all the time up here in Southern Vermont. His name is Paul, he works with his wife, Julia. They're absolutely amazing. And he was setting up lunch for our team on a production day.

And my sister-in-law, who happens to be my chief operating officer for 143 Studios, she had flown in from the week. And so we were here in Southern Vermont. We're filming a bunch of stuff for you. We are all together. Paul and Julie are catering the lunch, and we're all downstairs in the kitchen. And Paul and Christine start chatting.

It turns out, check this out, that Paul and Christine and Julia, they all went to Naperville High School in Illinois and graduated the same year. What are the odds? And it's such a huge high school that they didn't know each other. But now they're standing here in southern Vermont and we're all working and vibing together, I mean, is that a coincidence? Or is that life telling you something? See, I say it's not a coincidence. It's not a coincidence at all. I say it's happening for a reason,

that there is deep meaning in the fact that Christine and Julia and Paul all went to high school together and they just figured it out while they were standing in the kitchen on a work day while we were producing like amazing content. Now, if you're someone who's kind of cynical, you might hear this example about Christine

and Julia and Paul, and you might shrug your shoulders and say, ah, it's just a coincidence. Well, after today, you're not gonna do that. And the reason why you're not gonna do that is because I'm going to teach you something using research, and it's this, that you will never tap into the success that you desire or the deeper meaning in your life

if you don't learn how to see the deeply personal meaning and things that are happening around you. Simply saying, meh, it's a coincidence, is you declaring, that means nothing, there's no magic in my life, there's no reason for this, but calling it a sign of something greater is what gives your life meaning. And these moments matter, and they happen in your life all the time. And when you start to see deeply personal reasons for random things happening in your life, you begin to unlock the power of your mind. And you tap into something deeper that is available to you right now.

See, I could see that Christine, Julia, and Paul, as a sign that we're supposed to work together. That even the caterer is supporting this decision that we're not just sister-in-laws, that we're supposed to work together. And here's the cool thing about learning this superpower of seeing life working for you, of brainwashing yourself for success and for deeper meaning

is that you get to choose what things mean when they're happening in your life. Why wouldn't you want that for yourself? Why go through life questioning whether or not you've made the right decision? Why go through life just shrugging off things as a coincidence? Oh, just a coincidence.

I'm just going through the motions of my life. Why not see the fact that it stopped raining, and all of a sudden the sun came out right before your first Zoom interview for this job that you really want? Why not see that as a really good sign that it's going to go well, that you're on the right track,

that you're doing the right thing by putting yourself out there? Why not see the fact that the song playing in the restaurant, which happened to be the song that your parents danced to, the first dance song at their wedding, why not see the fact that the song is playing in the restaurant as a sign that the person that you're dating right now is actually a good person? When the house that you really want to buy has an address, 508, and that just happens to be the same area code as the state you're moving from, how is that not a sign that this

is your new home? That even if it's not, that things are working out for you and just looking at this house is a marker on the right path of you finding the right home? Imagine. Imagine how different it would feel if you brainwashed yourself to believe that life is supporting you, guiding you, that you're not alone at all, that you can see signs that you're on the right path or on the wrong path. I mean, you felt this sense at moments in your life, right?

That there's something larger for you to experience, some deeper dimension of life that you could tap into? I'm here to tell you, there is. There's this new study that I love that has proven that simply just having the awareness that synchronicities exist increases your life satisfaction. The study I'm talking about was published in Frontiers in Psychology, and just check out the title of this research, An Unexplored Pathway to Life Satisfaction. I freaking love that, an unexplored pathway to life satisfaction. I freaking love that. An unexplored pathway to life satisfaction.

And here is how this superpower is going to help you. Number one, when things are really challenging, you can tap into this ability to see synchronicities as a way to bolster your resilience and keep you moving forward when you feel like giving up. I do it all the time. Being able to spot signs and synchronicities and meaning in life and life is really hard, it's like the ultimate hack to continue the fight, to continue believing that things will work out for you. I mean, even the example that's kind of dumb of Paul and Julia and Christine standing in my kitchen, when I moved here and I freaking hated it, everywhere I looked, I saw reasons for why this was a dumb decision.

Brainwashing yourself in a positive way allows you to see the positive signs. Even something as crazy as three people standing in your kitchen that went to the same high school. Why not call that out as a sign that you're on the right path? It helps you keep going. It helps you stay optimistic. It helps you with your resilience.

And the second reason why you're going to want to know how to use this, and this is a way that it's made a huge difference in my life, is that everything that I experience is so much more profound because I know that it wasn't just hard work or luck that got me the results that I wanted or the moments of magic that I've had. I know that there is something deeper going on that I'm tapping into in my day-to-day life because I don't believe in coincidences.

I believe that things are happening for a reason. And when you tap into that, and you find evidence in your day-to-day life, I don't even know how to describe it. I just want it for you. Do you know that there are 150 million podcast episodes that have been published, and you chose this one? And I'm gonna tell you why, because you were meant to.

And if someone that you love sent you this episode, and you made the decision to just click on it and listen to it, it's because you were meant to. So from this point forward, I want you to listen with a level of intention. Listen knowing that there is something that you're going to hear that is exactly what you need to hear at this exact moment in your life.

There are no coincidences. Let my voice be the sign that you needed because I'm on a mission to empower and inspire you to open your heart and your mind so that you can achieve all the success that you deserve and experience a much more meaningful life. And there are three steps that I'm gonna teach you that you can start doing as soon as I teach them to you.

And these three steps are based on the research of Dr. Bernard Beitman. He is a professor at the University of Virginia School of Medicine. He's a medical doctor who's trained at Yale and Stanford, and he is the number one researcher in the science of synchronicities, which you know is the pathway to a more meaningful life,

according to research. And in his research, he has looked at the patterns of people who experience a tremendous number of synchronicities. And I consider myself to be somebody who experiences synchronicities every single day. So I've translated his research into three specific actions that you can start practicing, because I'm serious. I want you to brainwash yourself in a positive way, because this is so freaking cool.

Number one, the first skill that I want you to master is state it and claim it. The second skill we're gonna talk about is mastering your energy and how to use it to your advantage. And the third skill we're gonna talk about is finding a bigger meaning. And look, I know these three

don't quite make a whole lot of sense right now, but when I unpack them in detail and I give you specific examples of how you're gonna use it, and then I tell you stories from my life about the crazy success and even the miracles that I've been creating by using these three skills, huh, you are going to be unstoppable. So here's what we're gonna do. Let's take a brief break. And while you do, think about something for me, okay?

I want you to think to yourself, if Mel is right, and if what she's about to teach me actually works, if I could tap into greater success and more meaning in my life. And if I could see a sign, some sort of confirmation today that I'm on the right track or that I've made the right decision, what would that sign be?

And begin to open up the space for something more meaningful to happen to you today. Okay? So I want you to think about that over the break, and I'll be waiting for you when we come back. Stay with me. Welcome back. It's your friend Mel, and today I'm teaching you three ways to brainwash yourself for greater success and a more meaningful life.

And I'm using the research from Dr. Bernard Byteman at the University of Virginia, who is the number one researcher on the science of synchronicities. And I'm using that research to teach you three skills that you can master. These are skills I use every single day. And you better believe I also use this to build momentum and to create massive success. Now, before we went to the break, I asked you to think about some area of your life where you would love to see a sign, some sort of confirmation that you're on the right track or about a decision that you're making, okay, that it's the right decision.

And as we continue talking, I want you to hold on to that, okay, so that you can make what you're learning today deeply personal and relevant to something that matters to you, okay? Awesome. So, let's start with the first skill. And the first skill is you have to state it and then claim it when it happens. You got to state it and then claim it when it happens.

And as simple as it sounds to state something that you want, it's not that simple. Because you also have to claim it when it happens. And by claim it, I mean you have to be able to silently say to yourself, check that out, I made that happen. Mm-hmm. Yes, maybe I do have a superpower. This is pretty cool.

Based on the research, the reason why this is the important skill to state it and claim it is because people who experience synchronicities are higher in what is called referential thinking, which means you have a belief that things happening around you have to do with you, meaning you're responsible for it. And I want to give you a super simple example of what I'm talking about. This is something you can start practicing today to state it and claim it, okay? So let's just take an example that you can relate to. Let's say that you're at the store,

you're at the supermarket, and holy cow, it's a long line. I mean, really long line. And boy, you wish another line would just open up. Here's how you're gonna use this first skill. You're going to state what you want. So as you're standing in this long line, and I want you to just put yourself there. I mean, you got a cart full of stuff.

There are probably seven people in front of you. You're thinking to yourself, oh my gosh, why are they have so few people working? When are they gonna, hey, hey, hey, stop. You have a superpower. State what you want. Stand there and say to yourself, I want a line to open up. It's really that simple.

I want a line to open up. And then when it happens, don't just shrug your shoulders and go, ah, that's a coincidence, I guess I'm lucky. No! Claim it. Put a smirk on your face and say to yourself, check that out, I made that happen, that's pretty cool, that's not a coincidence. Claim ownership for creating the energy shift and creating that magic. And this is hard, but here's what I want you to understand about the unexplainable or quantum nature of all this. See, when you're standing there with your cart full of stuff and there's seven people

in front of you and the line is snaking all the way back down into the aisles and everybody else around you is getting agitated and starting to complain, and you have the guts and the clarity and the confidence to state with intention? I want a line to open up. You set something in motion. See, right now you're not using this power correctly. I want you to start stating what you want before it happens. I have this story to share with you. So 24 years ago, my mom and I went to

the world's largest antique market. It's in Western Massachusetts. It's called Brimfield Antique Market. It is so freaking cool. It happens, I think, the second Tuesday through Sunday of every May, July, and September. Okay, it's like six football fields of stuff. And so my mom and I go to this,

and our daughter Sawyer was a baby. And I had her in the baby Bjorn, and before we walked in to Brimfield, I stated what I wanted. I said, I wanna find a red and white quilt in the traditional shaker style, like an antique quilt. And if you don't know what a shaker style quilt is, it's like one of those old fashioned traditional quilts that are in big white squares and triangles,

very geometric. And as I stated it, I want to find a red and white quilt in the traditional shaker style. I could picture it in my mind. I knew exactly where I wanted it to go in my house. And as I started to walk toward the market, I kept stating to myself, I'm gonna find that quilt today. Not I want it, I'm gonna find a red and white

antique shaker style quilt. And by stating it, I am setting something powerful in motion. Now I looked all day. I mean, we must have walked 40,000 steps. I looked at vendor after vendor and quilt after quilt, and there were lots of shaker quilts, lots of red and white ones. But nothing really hit me.

But I kept saying, I am going to find the perfect red and white antique shaker quilt. I just knew it. I stated it. I just knew it. I stated it. I kept stating it. And we were getting near the end of the day, and we're heading back to the car, and we're passing some of the final stalls as people are packing things up and all of a sudden I notice,

wait a minute, there's a quilt. I see it folded up underneath those cutting boards over there. Let's go check that out. So we walk over, we remove the cutting boards off the top of this thing. And my mom and I start to unfold it. And it was really cool. But here's the thing, it had some stains on it.

It was kind of tattered, like some of the squares were pulling off. And the person that was working the booth walks up and said, now this is a very rare antique quilt because this is considered a wedding quilt. And I said, well, what is that? And they said, well, in this town, it was the tradition that everybody in the town, when somebody got married, would sign the names of all the people

that were attending the wedding for the young couple that was getting married. And so here I am, my mom and I, we've got the quilt all unfolded and we're looking at it, and I'm kind of looking past the stains and the tears tears and you could notice all this handwriting on the white squares and it literally I'm not kidding looked like you know that handwriting from like the Declaration of Independence that like super scripty thing that looks like somebody wrote it with a feather and my mom's going oh my god look at

this old-fashioned cursive this is just just so cool. And I'm like, yeah, look at some of the names. And all of a sudden, as I started looking closer, holy cow, the last names on the quilt over and over and over. Sawyer, Sawyer, Joseph Sawyer, Emily Sawyer, Sarah Sawyer, Frederick Sawyer. The hair on my arms stood straight up. My mom was like, oh my gosh, Sawyer's name is all over this quilt. We have to buy this thing.

This is unbelievable. You know, I'm sure the quilt dealer doubled the price in his mind in that moment, but there is zero doubt that I was meant to find that quilt. I mean, here's the thing. Is it a coincidence that I look all day and underneath cutting boards heading to the car, I spot a quilt out of the corner of my eye, we unfold it, and I look past the tears and the stains after rejecting quilts all day long, only to find out that my daughter's name, Sawyer,

is the last name of half the people who have signed this quilt as a wedding gift 200 years ago for somebody. That is not a coincidence. I made that happen. I stated what I wanted when I got out of that car eight hours before. I kept stating what I wanted all day long, even though it wasn't happening. I kept stating what I wanted even when the quilt was in my hands and I believed with

every ounce in my body that it was going to happen, and I made it happen. I was meant to find this exact quilt at this exact time while I was with my mom visiting from Michigan, wearing my daughter whose name is Sawyer, which is half of the names that were on this 200-year-old quilt. That stating it set this in motion.

And here is how you can start to apply step one. Before you go shopping anywhere, and you're pulling up to someplace and you don't know exactly what they have in stock. So let's say you're pulling up to like a Marshall's or a TJ Maxx or a flea market or garage sale. I want you to take a beat and create a little scavenger hunt for yourself. This is how you tap into the superpower, okay?

First, you're gonna state to yourself without knowing what's actually in there, what are you going to find? What are you going to find? Are you in front of a garage sale and you want to find an antique compass? Are you sitting at a flea market and you want to find an old, I don't know, ladder? Are you sitting in front of TJ Maxx and there's a particular something you would love to find? I want you to play this game where you start

to state it to yourself, I'm going to find X. And then I want you to visualize this moment where you do. In fact, my colleague Amy just did this, I kid you not, with her daughter Jane last night. So last night, they pulled into TJ Maxx and Amy was already stating what she wanted. She wanted her daughter Jane to find a dress for this dance that's coming up at the high school. And of course, parking space right up front. Why? Because when you state what you want, you set something in motion.

And so what is that parking space? Is it a coincidence? Or is it a sign? You get to choose. Amy says that's a sign that this is happening, that things are gonna work out, that they are in fact gonna find this dress in the store. So she turns to her daughter Jane and says,

so what do you want to find? And Jane says, well, I need a dress for the winter formal. And I love the dress that I have, but it's a summer dress. So I would love a dress just like that one, but only in a different material so that I have something for the winter formal. Amy's like, great. She starts stating it to herself.

We are going to find that dress. The perfect dress is going to be in there. So they walk into the store, she's set this in motion, and they can't find anything. You know how sometimes TJ Maxx, it's hit or miss, right? Like that's the fauna going in there. You don't know what you're going to get. It was like they had stopped selling dresses, but Amy was doubling down. And she is saying to herself, we're going to find a dress, we're going to find the perfect dress, It was like they had stopped selling dresses. But Amy was doubling down.

And she is saying to herself, we're gonna find a dress, we're gonna find the perfect dress, we're gonna find the perfect dress. And then all of a sudden, Jane calls to her from clear across the store and says, mom, mom, I found the rack. Amy heads over to her.

She gets there. It's like a pathetic, sad rack. You know a sad looking dress on a rack. I mean, they're barely clinging to the hanger. But Amy was setting things in motion. We're going to find this dress. I just have this feeling this is going to happen. We're going to do this. They go through the whole rack. Absolutely nothing. Amy was even trying to sell Jane on a few of them. Jane's like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Amy's not giving up.

We're gonna find that dress. And all of a sudden, she looks out of the corner of her eye. Couple racks over, there's a bunch of pajamas. Guess what she spots in the middle of the pajamas. That's right. There was a dress there that someone had randomly stuck on the pajama rack. So Amy darts on over, and it was as if the dress that Jane had at home, the one that she loved, it was as if all of the little birds and mice and Cinderella came in with their bows and their ribbons

and made it even better. Just like that. It's this halter dress with a circle at the top and it was black and Jane was like, oh, I don't know. And Amy said, we got to try it on. And now Amy's like, we found the dress. We found the dress. The dressing room was closed.

Coincidence? I don't think so. Not when you set something in motion. She can't try it on. Which means what? The universe is telling her, this is your dress. Trust, take it home and try it on. And sure enough, when they got home

and Jane put on the dress, it was exactly what she had wanted. Did Amy create that? Of course she did. She set that in motion. And this is way more than a story about buying a dress. This is way more than a story about how you create a successful shopping trip. Did you hear the meaning in the story?

Like how much richer that scavenger hunt became when you walk in with this spirit that everything is working out for you without the skill of stating what you want and then knowing that you're setting something powerful in motion. Not only would this not have happened because they wouldn't have seen the dress over on the PJ rack, but it opens you up to experience life at a completely different way. And right now, you're walking by opportunities that you're not even open to seeing, and they're all around you. That's why this is so cool.

Here's another way that you can start practicing using it. So anytime you go to a networking event or a party or any place you're going to meet new people, I want you to practice stating what you want before you walk in. I'm going to meet somebody really cool tonight. I'm going to meet somebody that can help me with this job search. I'm going to meet somebody who can help me with this job search. I'm going to meet somebody who can help me raise money for this company I'm starting. I'm going to meet somebody that needs to buy a house and I'm a real estate agent who is looking for customers.

Set it in motion. Set it in motion by stating what's going to happen before it happens. And then when it happens, claim it. I made that happen. I made that happen. The point here is to brainwash your mind to believe that something good is going to happen before it does.

Because when you do that, your mind conspires to help you. That's how you unlock the power of it. Your mind spots the dress on the pajama rack. It spots the quilt underneath the cutting boards. It zeros in on the one person standing in the corner who has this interesting vibe about them. And you don't know why it is, but for some reason you feel pulled to walk over to them

and you've said you're gonna meet the person that you need to meet. And they turn out to be the exact person that you needed to meet. And you sell them the house or they introduce you to the person at the company that you've always wanted to interview at. And look, do you always find the dress? No. Do you always meet somebody who happens to know somebody that you needed to? maybe not, but going into these situations, believing that something good is going to happen, it changes your entire experience of it. And let me tell you this, how does expecting the worst help you?

How does expecting, I'm never gonna find anything. They never have a lot of addresses. How does that help you find a dress? How does walking into some sort of event saying, this is a waste of time. I'm shy, I'm introverted, I never meet anybody, these kind of things. How is that gonna help you meet people

that could change the course of your career or your business or your life. See, I think you're so afraid to want something and not have a turnout that you stop yourself from setting it in motion. You won't even allow yourself to state and declare that it's going to happen. And when you don't do that, you close yourself off to everything that's possible. See, I'm teaching you right now how to stand in the present moment and start to connect dots forward,

to see the path, to see that the world and the universe and the powers that be have your back and are conspiring to guide you. Another cool thing about learning how to do this is you can also do this in reverse. If you really look back on your past with an honest look, you will see how all the dots of your life connect you to this moment. For example, you can see now in this moment why that painful breakup had to happen. Why that school you got rejected from had to happen. If that breakup hadn't happened,

you would never have met the love of your life. You would never have faced the things that you needed to heal in yourself if that relationship had not ended. And you can also look backwards and find these moments where you now realize, oh my god, even back then, even back then my life was trying to guide me. Because I just knew that that relationship had to end six months before it did. I just knew I was making the right decision. You know those moments where you can look in the past

and you're like, oh my God, I just know it in my bones. That's a moment of synchronicity. Because when you just know it's true, you are finding meaning in something where nobody else does. You are finding meaning in something where nobody else does. Like that moment you just knew it was the right school. Do you know it was a just know it moment that brought us to southern Vermont? Our son Oakley didn't want to go to the public high school outside of Boston where his sisters

went and he just campaigned and campaigned to tour the public high school up here in southern Vermont where his grandmother lived. And when he stepped on that campus, he just knew this was where he was supposed to be. He knew it. He couldn't explain it, but he knew it was true. And he stated it, I'm going to school here. And by doing that, he set something in motion. He did that at the beginning of eighth grade.

And for an entire year, his father and I were like, no, you're not, no, you're not, no, you're not. But guess what? The universe had other plans because Oakley Robbins had set this sucker in motion and he was willing it to happen. And we find ourselves here trying it out, freshman year, giving it a whirl.

He set that in motion without him stating it, without him having that just new, he felt something and he gave the feeling he felt when he walked on that campus, meaning, this is the place for me. You have had those experiences in your life. Maybe you just knew that a certain person was the right person, they were your person. Or you just knew, oh my God,

I gotta get out of this situation. You left and found another job, and next thing you know, the company folds. You didn't get on the train, and everybody got sick on the train. And you didn't know why. You couldn't get on the train and everybody got sick on the train. And you didn't know why. You couldn't explain why, but you just knew.

See, when you stand in this moment and you look backwards and you see these just-know moments, that's also evidence of deep synchronicity happening in your life. That your life is telling you something, that things aren't a coincidence. State it, and then you claim it. That's skill number one. Whether you're practicing this before you walk into a store or a meeting, or you're just going through your day-to-day life saying, I'm gonna get confirmation today about this decision.

I'm gonna see a sign, whether it's a number or an animal or a song, or I'm gonna see a tattoo or somebody's gonna say something, something's gonna happen. And the reason why it happens is because you set it in motion by saying, I'm gonna get confirmation. Now, the second skill of this positive brainwashing, now that you understand that you gotta state it

and then you gotta claim it when it happens, is mastering your energy and using it to your advantage. And I am going to explain exactly what I mean by that, because this exponentially increases your success with this skill. You set it in motion and holy cow what I'm about to teach you with your energy creates a tidal wave. So don't you dare go anywhere because I'm going to teach you how to create one in your own life when we return. Welcome back at your friend Mel.

I am so happy you are here. I love this topic so much and I love all of the stuff that you experience when you learn the three skills that help you brainwash yourself in a positive way so you can experience greater success and deeper meaning in your life. You deserve this. Please make sure you share this with people. Like the other thing that's really cool about this topic

is that the more that you're around people that also do this, the more you amplify each other. So this is a great thing to share with people that you love. Now, you and I have already covered skill number one, which is this idea of state it and then claim it, that you need to state what you want as if it's happening so that you set it in motion. Now let's talk about the second skill,

which is you've gotta be able to then align your energy with what you want. And in order to teach you how to do this, I want to go back to the example that we started with, which is let's go back to the grocery store where you're standing in this long line, there's seven people in front of you, you got your cart full of stuff,

the line is like winding down and back the aisle and you're starting to feel what normal people feel. You're getting angry, you're getting frustrated, you're starting to feel what, you know, normal people feel. You're getting angry. You're getting frustrated. You're starting to look at your phone. You're starting to gripe to yourself. Why don't they have more people up here? Can't they see how many people are here?

It's gonna take forever. I got things I gotta do. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Sure, you can do step one when you're in that state, grumbling and looking at your phone. You can state a line is going to open up. But if you keep looking at your phone and you allow yourself to stay angry and frustrated,

it's not going to happen because your energy doesn't match what you just set in motion. See, you can state a line's gonna open up, but if your energy is frustration, it blocks it from happening. So you not only have to be able to stand in that line and state that a line is gonna open open up, this is going to get moving. But then you have to align how you feel in that moment with it actually happening. This is what I mean by mastering your energy. Researchers call this high vitality.

But I want you to think about it in a common sense way, okay? So let me ask you a question. Does the energy that you're feeling right now, is it consistent with the thing that you stated actually happening? Because if it isn't consistent with the line opening up, or you finding the dress, or the quilt magically appearing, or you getting the job interview,

if it's not consistent with that happening, you gotta change it. And here's how you can hack it. Just imagine that it's happening, you got to change it. And here's how you can hack it. Just imagine that it's happening, right? The line opens up, you find the dress, you meet someone at the event who literally works at the place that you want to have a job interview at. How are you gonna feel?

How are you gonna feel when you spot that dress, the perfect Cinderella dress over on the pajama rack, like you won the lottery? How are you gonna feel when the line that dress the perfect Cinderella dress over on the pajama rack like you won the lottery? How you gonna feel when the line right next door to you opens up and three people pull out of your line? And then you scoot up in your line and magically everything's moving again here to feel freaking great awesome Bring that energy to how you feel right now. I'm dead serious about this that energy to how you feel right now. I'm dead serious about this. Before you walk into the store, I want you to not only state that you're going to find the perfect dress, I want you to feel the energy of what it's going to feel like when you do. Before you go into

the networking event, I want you to not only state that you're going to meet the perfect person tonight that is going to help you, I want you to feel the energy of what it feels like to meet somebody who has the perfect connection for your job search. And as you're standing at the grocery store in this line a mile long with a cart full of stuff that you need in order to get home to make for dinner, and you state that that line next door is going to open up, I want you to summon the energy of what it will feel like when the other lane opens and things start moving again like magic. And you want to know what's super cool is the more that you practice this and the

more that you master your energy, the faster you start going through your day-to-day life in alignment with everything that you want. See, there's a reason why so many cool and meaningful things happen in my life. I'll tell you why. Because I've figured out the secret. The secret is move through your life setting things in motion and then match your energy to be aligned with it. Act as if it's already happened. Bring that energy to it. It's not faking confidence.

You're in alignment. And it takes time and it takes a little bit of practice and I've been doing this for years. This is a superpower. And so I wanna give you a little hack that I used in the very beginning to start to build the skill of quickly mastering your energy and learning how to shift it. Very, very simple.

Just listen to music. Okay, seriously. This really works like a charm. When you're done listening to this, go create a playlist that puts you in a fantastic mood. Like, I'm talking the kind of songs that no matter what is going on in the world, if this song comes on, you can't help but put a little pep in your step, you find yourself swaying. That's the kind of playlist I want. It is a mood shifting playlist.

And I want you to find about a dozen songs, and if you can't find even one, even one is good enough. But if you can create a playlist that as soon as these songs come on, you can't help but feel happier. You can use this playlist to your advantage. There you are standing in line at the grocery store, pop in the earbuds, put on the playlist, shift your energy, state what you want.

Boom, you're in alignment, superpowers engaged. You can play it as you're driving to the store, thinking about the dress that you are going to find. You can play it as you're driving to the store, thinking about the dress that you are going to find. You can play it as you're going to the networking meeting, thinking about how cool it's going to be when you meet that person who's going to introduce you to that person and all this stuff is going to fall in your lap. This is going to be incredible.

As you're listening to the music and you feel your energy shift, pay attention to that shift. It feels a certain way. Because if you can create it while you're listening to the music, you can then teach yourself how to create it even if you're not listening to it. And that's what I do all the time. When I state something and I put it in motion, I master my energy, and I set that tidal wave in its direction. And energy alignment is what amplifies your success

and the meaning that you're gonna feel as you're doing it. And that brings me to the third skill that pulls it all together. And the third skill is find a bigger meaning. This means that you believe that the synchronicities around you, the things that you're setting in motion are a means of guidance from something that's much bigger than you. That literally when the line at the supermarket opens up, that it's a little wink from the universe.

I see you. I'm here for you. And here's the fastest way for you to start to practice this skill of find a bigger meaning. I want you to think about somebody that you love who's no longer with us, okay? Is there some kind of sign or confirmation that always makes you believe when you see it that they're here with you, that they are in fact watching over you. I'm going to give you an example. Let's say that a hummingbird always reminds you of your mom.

When a hummingbird shows up on a really important day, I want you to see that as a sign that your mom is in fact here. And you may have had this experience, I know a lot of people write in about this, that a loved one shows up for them in the form of an animal or a number or a certain song or a flower. In fact, this just happened to me yesterday. It was our daughter Sawyer's 25th birthday, and that same colleague Amy, she pulled her a card, and the card that she pulled had an eagle on the front of it.

And an eagle has always symbolized my father-in-law Ken. How cool! Is it a coincidence? Absolutely not. How cool that he showed up on her 25th birthday. How freaking cool. And I also want you to start practicing this on days that are not important, because that will take this skill of find a bigger meaning to a much more profound level.

So let's go back skill of find a bigger meaning to a much more profound level. So let's go back to the example of your mom and a hummingbird so that I can explain this to you. I want you to say that you're gonna see a sign from your mom today so that you set it in motion. And that brainwashes you in a positive way. It unlocks the power of your brain to help you look for it.

The second thing you're gonna do is align your energy. What does that mean? That means I want you to master an energetic shift and go through the day to day expecting to see it. Like how cool is it gonna be when you see that hummingbird? Maybe you're gonna see the hummingbird in real life. Maybe you'll see one on social media. Maybe you'll see it in a magazine or it'll be on a tattoo on the person that is working

in the restaurant tonight. Or maybe the restaurant tonight, their special dessert is hummingbird cake, which happens to be my father's favorite cake, which means in my mind he must be thinking about me right now. Hi, Dad. And when it happens, allow it to be a sign of something bigger, of a bigger meaning in your life, that a force is guiding you. Whether that force is your higher self and intuition, or there's a religious connotation or a spiritual one or a person in your life who's passed on. Because this force is there and it is guiding you. And using these three tools you can strengthen your connection to it not just on important days, but you can make every day feel more important because you do.

And that will create more success and more meaning in your day-to-day life. You know, I can give you another example of how I have used these three skills. In 2017, when I first published my book, The 5 Second Rule, I did it as a self-published author. And there were a series of things that happened because I just didn't know. I mean, this was the first time I had ever self-published a book. I was brand new to the publishing game. And so, you know, I had worked really hard on this, but for the first month that the book was published, it was a complete

and utter failure. I mean, like a total disaster. I'll spare you the backstory, but basically there was some sort of glitch in the inventory software with Amazon. And so when the hardcover book launched, it was listed, I'm not kidding, as out of stock for the first 30 days of the book launch. Just think about that. You have spent 18 months writing this book.

You've spent almost a year putting together a marketing plan. You go live, you tell everybody to buy the book, and because of a glitch in Amazon's system when it goes on sale, no one can buy it. I wanted to give up. I wanted to just fold it in right there. I just could not believe it. But let me tell you what I did. I used the three steps that I just taught you

to tap into something bigger, to brainwash myself in this moment when there was nothing but evidence around me that this was a disaster. And the first thing that I did is I kept stating what I wanted. This is going to be a bestseller. This is going to be a bestseller. This is going to be a bestseller. This is going to be a best seller. This is going to be a best seller. This is going to be a best seller. This is going to be a best seller. And then I kept every single day, oh my God,

I kept trying to master my energy to align with that goal. Okay, let's just fast forward a year when this is a best seller. How are you gonna feel? Okay, and I kept tapping into it and I would wake up every single day and I would do step number three There must be something bigger going on there has to be something bigger going on that I cannot see there is no way

That I work this hard. I'm a good person. There's no way that this doesn't work out I refuse to believe that and I just kept Stating it I kept stating the five-second rule is going to be a bestseller. Even though you can't buy the hardcover right now, the five-second rule is going to be a bestseller. Even though I screwed up all the marketing, the five-second rule is going to be a bestseller. For that month, I just kept on marketing the book, even though you couldn't buy it. I kept delivering my speeches. I would wake up every day and the feelings of failure and depression and anxiety and embarrassment would be there.

And I would flip on the music and I would shake that off and I would turn on the energy to match this belief that this book somehow, someway was going to be a bestseller. And I kept reminding myself something bigger must be happening. And these three skills kept me going. There were no signs for 30 days straight, no hummingbirds, no eagles, no angel numbers, no nothing. But I believed something bigger must be happening.

And sure enough, 30 days later, something bigger revealed itself. See, because my traditional book launch had failed and nobody could buy the hardcover, everyone had bought the audiobook from Audible. And a month into my book launch, using the three skills that I just explained to you to brainwash myself in the middle of a professional crisis and business disaster, I kept going. I kept waking up and moving forward. I kept acting consistently with what I had said in motion. And I learned that my audiobook had become a bestseller on Audible.

And not only that, the Five Second Rule has gone on to become the most successful self-published audiobook in the history of Audible. And it also led to an unprecedented partnership the most successful self-published audiobook in the history of Audible. And it also led to an unprecedented partnership that my production company, 143 Studios, has with Audible. In fact, we're in the middle of our seventh original production in less than four years. None of which would have happened

had that computer system at Amazon been working properly. All of which, by the way, was meant to happen. And I set in motion. I set in motion because I stated it would be a bestseller. I mastered my energy and aligned it with the belief that it would. And by relentlessly reminding myself that something bigger was happening for me, and that's what kept me going. And because I kept going, it kept people going to Amazon, which kept people buying the audiobook, which I didn't even know was happening.

And the rest is history. There's a totally different way to go through life, to approach your business and your career. And it begins with these three simple steps. State it. State what's going to happen, and then claim it when it does. Master your energy, align it with what you want, and it creates a tidal wave that makes it happen. And keep finding the bigger meaning because it's there, just waiting for you to tap into it. Your life and your mind and your spirit is conspiring to help you.

And using these three steps, you can unlock all of that power inside of you to create it. And in case no one else has told you today, let me be the first person to say that I love you, and I believe in you, And I believe in your ability to not only create a better life, but to tap into this superpower and experience greater success and a much more meaningful life too. I cannot wait to hear what you do with this one.

Alrighty, I'll talk to you in a few days. Is this thing on? Okay, good, because instead of bloopers, I'm going to use this time to tell you about a free two-part training that I just created for you. It's called Make It Happen. It is designed to help you push through the fear and take action. It's my gift to you. You know, I've been so moved by your support of this podcast that I am constantly trying

to figure out ways that I can take it to the next level and empower you to take the risks and make the changes that will make your life better. You mean the world to me, and I wanna prove it to you. I wanna prove it to you by giving you more structured support as a thank you for supporting the Mel Robbins podcast, which brings me to this awesome gift.

It's a free two-part video training called Make It Happen. In it, I'm gonna teach you how to push through fear and take consistent, confident action. It's zero cost to you. Just go to melrobbins.com slash make it happen and you can sign up for free. The link is also in the show notes. It's a two hour all new video training and the curriculum is backed by science

and designed to support you in taking confident, consistent action in your life. This free training also comes with a workbook that's over 25 pages long and designed with the latest research to help you take what you're learning in this free two hour training and apply it to your life. I love doing these workshops because they change lives

and this one, it's gonna change yours. I also wanted to shout out the almost one million of you who took advantage of the free training I created and gave to you at the beginning of the year that was called Best Year. If you liked having the support for me in January, you're going to love this training even more. In my opinion, Make It Happen is the best training we've ever created.

So why wouldn't you take this opportunity to make your life a little better? And just like I'm reminding you that every one of these episodes is a resource to share with friends and family, So is this free training. So please, after you sign up, send the link melrobbins.com slash make it happen to the people that you love. Because when you surround yourself with friends and family, who are also taking consistent, confident action and making big things happen, guess what? It helps you make big things happen too. That link again is melrobbins.com slash Make It Happen. Sign up, share the link with everyone you know and love,

and I can't wait to welcome you to this free training. Go to MelRobbins.com slash Make It Happen. I'll see you there. Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for

the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.