The Mel Robbins Podcast - 8 Realistic Healthy Habits That Make a Huge Difference
Episode Date: August 17, 2024Today, you are getting the 8 science-backed hacks to lower your stress, amplify your happiness, and make you healthier.Harvard’s Dr. Aditi Nerurkar is here to show you exactly how you can get back o...n track.If you’ve ever wanted to know exactly how a Harvard doctor grocery shops, meditates, exercises, eats, and even commutes, you’re getting all of that and more today.You’ll love this research-packed episode because every habit that Dr. Aditi shares is simple, easy to apply, and makes you feel better right away.Dr. Aditi Nerurkar is a medical doctor, researcher, and world-renowned expert in stress and public health. She's a lecturer at Harvard Medical School and was the medical director of Harvard's Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital's integrative medicine program, where she developed an enormous clinical practice in stress management using evidence-based integrative approaches to help her patients feel better.Today, she is going to give you evidence-based integrative approaches that are easy, simple, and proven to make you feel better, calmer, and healthier. For more resources, including links to Dr. Aditi Nerurkar’s research, website, and social media, click here for the podcast episode page. If you like this inspiring episode, and want to better understand what it is you truly want and how to work towards it you should listen to this episode next: How to Figure Out What You Really Want: Use This Life-Changing HackConnect with Mel:Get Mel’s brand new free 26-page workbook, What Do You Really Want, to finally answer that question and redefine your future! Watch the episodes on YouTubeFollow Mel on Instagram The Mel Robbins Podcast InstagramMel's TikTok Sign up for Mel’s personal letter Disclaimer
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.
You know, the other day I was standing in the grocery store staring at the pickles,
and it occurred to me, you know, Mel, you haven't changed the way you grocery shopped in probably
five years. I move through the grocery store the exact same way every time I walk in the door.
I buy the exact same things. I bet you're the same way. I mean, have you ever stopped to think
about it? Just imagine if I were to put a tracker on you. I know that would be kind of creepy,
but let's just say that I was going to put a tracker on you. I bet if we mapped you going
into the grocery store about a dozen times, you would walk the aisles the exact same way
every time you go.
You would stop at the exact same spots every time.
Well, today, you and I are going to learn that there is a much better way to grocery
shop, a way that's going to lower your stress, a way that will make you healthier.
I mean, this is going to blow your mind because you are going to learn it
from a Harvard medical doctor.
I mean, how cool is that?
We're going to the grocery store
with a Harvard medical doctor, but that's not all.
Harvard's Dr. Aditi Nurakar,
one of the world's leading experts on stress, she is back.
You loved her the first time
she was on the Mel Robbins podcast.
She is back with eight proven
and very simple hacks
on everything from how you and I can grocery shop better
to one change that she makes all of her patients do
whenever they are on a Zoom call,
it immediately is gonna lower your stress.
She's also here to teach you about the life-changing impact
of something called a fake commute.
I don't even know what that is, but I want one,
and you're gonna want one too.
And she's also gonna explain that there is this habit
that's related to your bottom.
Yep, you know, the thing that you're probably
sitting on right now, if you're listening to me,
if you're in your car or you're at work,
there is this particular habit that you have
that's related to your rear end.
It is slowly killing you.
Wait till you hear this research and what you need to do about it.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg on the things that you are going to learn today.
And more importantly, what I love about this conversation is that these are simple changes
that you're going to be so inspired to make in your day-to-day life.
They're going to lower your stress, amplify your happiness,
and make you healthier.
And it's all so easy.
And Dr. Aditi, what I love about her,
is she makes you feel smart and it's also fun.
So are you ready to learn about a fake commute
and what you need to do with your rear end?
I know I am, so let's do this.
Hey, it's your buddy Mel and I am so glad that you showed up today. I'm so excited.
It is always an honor to spend some time together and I just want to acknowledge you for choosing
to listen to something that can help you create a better life.
That is so cool.
And if you're a new listener, welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast family.
I am personally so glad that you're here.
All right, can you tell I'm fired up today?
I am fired up because you and I are learning
eight simple things that are so easy,
and they will immediately improve your life.
Like a little boop, you know, boop.
I love those kind of changes
because you can feel it immediately.
It's not that difficult.
You can make it work in a normal person's life.
And you can probably hear in my voice,
I'm smiling ear to ear,
because I cannot wait for you to hear these very easy.
And you know, if I'm being honest with you,
and I'm always honest with you, kind of sneaky.
These are kind of sneaky little changes,
but they're 100% proven hacks,
and you're gonna be able to do them today.
And it's gonna lead to a healthier
and happier life day to day.
And they all come from Harvard's stress doctor,
Dr. Aditi Narakar,
who was one of your absolute favorite experts
who's appeared on the Mel Robbins podcast.
Today she's back and she's gonna share
exactly how to shop for groceries.
She's gonna teach you one trick that you need
for every single Zoom call or Microsoft Teams call
or Google Circles, whatever you're using these days.
This trick will immediately lower your stress.
She's gonna share surprising research around sitting
and how sitting on your bum all day,
it is slowly killing you.
And more importantly, what she recommends
as a medical doctor to do about it.
She's also gonna teach you why you need a fake commute.
She's gonna talk about exactly how little exercise you need,
and guess what, it's less than you think,
what supplements she recommends to her patients,
and so much more.
So if you wanna feel calm,
if you want more health and vibrancy
and energy and happiness in your life,
if you love clear science-backed information
that a normal person like you and me can use
to help you and your family and friends
get healthier and happier,
you are in exactly the right place.
Congratulations.
You are winning today.
You selected the right way to spend your time.
Dr. Aditi, let me tell you about her.
I love her.
She is a Harvard medical doctor, a researcher, and a world-renowned expert in stress and
public health.
She's a lecturer at Harvard Medical School and was the medical director of Harvard Beth
Israel Deaconess' Hospital's Integrative Medicine Program.
That is a mouthful, holy cow.
And let me tell you what she did there.
She developed an enormous clinical practice
in stress management using evidence-based
integrative approaches to help her patients feel better.
And that's what she's here today to do with you.
Evidence-based integrative approaches,
let me translate that, Easy, simple, proven.
Advice that makes you feel better, calmer, and healthier
the second you use it.
So are you ready?
I am.
Let's go.
Dr. Aditi, welcome back to the Mel Robbins podcast.
It's such a pleasure to be here, Mel.
I'm thrilled you're back.
And today, you are here to share your best hacks
to be healthier and decrease stress.
And I just want to jump right in.
Take us to the grocery store.
How does a Harvard doctor shop?
What are the best foods to buy?
Let's hear your secrets.
A simple thing I tell my patients
is to walk the perimeter of the grocery store.
So as you go into your grocery store to figure out
what am I supposed to eat to heal or to strengthen or protect my gut
Brain connection just go on the perimeter you have fruits and vegetables. That's really important for a strong gut brain connection
You can go into the dairy section for fermented foods like yogurt kombucha
Kefir there's so many fermented foods that are there, whole grains, and then lean proteins. You can follow also a Mediterranean diet.
And that word is kind of deceptive
because it's not really a diet, it's a way of life.
The Mediterranean diet is sort of the gold standard
in terms of the way of eating.
It's been used in all of the countries in the Mediterranean
for eons, for centuries.
And now it's slowly making its way here to the US.
So focusing on a plant-based
diet, eating lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, minimally processed foods, whole grains, beans,
nuts, oils like olive oils, and minimizing dairy and red meat. And most importantly here in the
U.S., the reason I mentioned the periphery and the perimeter of the grocery store, because here in
the U.S. and likely in other countries as well, when you go into a periphery and the perimeter of the grocery store, because here in the US, and likely in other countries as well,
when you go into a grocery store,
the perimeter is where you have the produce,
the dairy, grains, and meats.
And in the center, all of those aisles are processed foods.
Many of them are ultra processed foods,
especially here in the US.
And so you want to minimize your consumption, 80-20 rule.
This is not about becoming a monk and leading an existence
where you are not engaging with food
because food is pleasure and it is important.
And especially when you're feeling a lot of stress,
eat a little chocolate cake, it's good for you.
It's good for your soul.
I certainly don't refrain,
but it's about when you create a habit
and when you have that habit of a slice of chocolate cake.
I talk about this in the book with one of my patients,
a slice of chocolate cake every single night at 11 o'clock
and then it starts affecting your cholesterol
and all of these other things.
And then you're saying, okay, wait a second,
I gotta get a handle on this.
And it can be a slippery slope.
So really trying to focus, be practical in what you eat.
It doesn't have to be this huge lifestyle overhaul.
A little bit can go a long way.
So if you can make some simple swaps,
you know, like put a few forks full of sauerkraut
in your sandwich today when you're having lunch
or at night, you know, have a little bit of extra,
extra helping of vegetables.
Simple daily things can make a big difference
in the long run.
And it then, what this does is when you have prebiotics,
probiotics, a sort of Mediterranean diet,
it doesn't have to be all day every day.
But if you can start slowly incorporating
a little bit at a time, it strengthens your microbiome.
Wow, that is super cool.
So as a Harvard-trained medical doctor,
when somebody comes into your practice,
do you advise them to take supplements
to improve their cut?
Every day, people would come in with bags of supplements
and say, what should I take, Dr. Noonkar?
What's going to help me?
What's not going to help me?
My standard line for every single patient who came in,
I would look at all of their medications.
I would write them on the medical record.
To me, very much, taking a supplement is like taking a medication, right?
Right. And so my approach is always to strengthen and give people a sense of empowerment to heal
themselves from inside out. And so that's not to say I want to, you know, I don't want that to be
taken out of context. I very much am a part of the medical system. I believe deeply in the conventional medical system, in medications to treat conditions.
But I mean when people say, what supplements should I take for my stress and my burnout?
I say, try, because I've had patients come in saying, I sleep four hours a day.
Can you tell me the best supplement to take to manage my stress and burnout?
I drink four cups of coffee a day,
sometimes seven or eight cups of coffee a day.
I sleep four hours a day.
I'm just powering through.
What's the best supplement to take?
My answer is that sleep is a therapeutic intervention.
Let's focus on your sleep.
Let's decrease your caffeine intake.
Let's get you moving a little bit.
These are the supplements that I want
to really instill in people rather than popping a pill.
I love that answer.
And you know what else I'm thinking about
is the fact that, you know, we kind of just roll our eyes
or we don't, when you hear the advice, right,
just get better sleep, shop the perimeter of the grocery store.
Like these small interventions, right? It's easy to dismiss this because you
think that the stress is so big or your problems are so big that there's no way
that something so little would actually impact something so big. And I have
always found in life that the bigger the problem and the bigger the issue, the smaller the solution.
Yeah, I would say parent yourself back to a better state
of health. You know that when if you are a parent listening, or if
you think about how your own parents were, maybe that's not
the best example, because you might not have had great
parents. But you know what it means to be a good parent, right?
Like a good bedtime, protecting sleep, minimizing screen time, eating good food,
a little bit of exercise every day.
There are things that we tell our children all the time.
If you don't have kids, you have nephews and nieces.
There are things that you know will help them.
Of course, the adult brain is different than a child, the child's brain, but the
adult brain is developing as well because of the principles of neuroplasticity.
Your brain is a muscle and it responds
to external stimulation and external influences.
Even today, I've had patients who've been 80 years old
and made behavior change,
and that has made all the difference
in their stress and burnout.
So these small little things actively influence the brain
because of neuroplasticity and can
change and rewire your brain for less stress.
I love it.
Dr. Aditi, what's the surprising connection between sitting and stress?
As you may have heard in pop culture, sitting is the new smoking.
The science shows that sitting, it's not just that exercise is good for you and moving is good for you, for your stress,
anxiety, burnout.
It's that sitting is actually bad for you and it can increase your sense of anxiety,
stress and burnout.
Wow.
Maybe we should have ordered standing desks around here.
I wanted to share a couple of pretty alarming statistics about sitting.
There was a study of 800 people, and the ones who sat the most, this is like knock your
socks off data, the people who sat the most had a 112% higher risk of diabetes, 147% higher
risk of heart disease, a 90% higher risk of death from heart disease, and a 50% higher risk of heart disease, a 90% higher risk of death from heart disease,
and a 50% higher risk from death overall.
All to say that sitting is actually bad for our health,
our wellbeing, and as it turns out,
your stress and burnout.
How does sitting trigger stress?
The mechanisms of action aren't entirely clear, but the data suggests that when you are sitting
for prolonged lengths of time, you're stewing in your own emotions, so to speak.
And so getting up and moving creates a whole cascade of positive biological changes to
your brain and your body.
And when you're sitting for long periods of time, that doesn't happen.
It's detrimental to your cardiovascular health to just sit because a body is meant to move.
Your body is the greatest machine.
And so use that machine to do what it's meant to do.
It doesn't have to be, you know, you don't have to become an Olympian.
But certainly getting up and moving a little bit every day,
even if it means five minutes between your Zoom meetings,
get up, take a walk, stretch, because think about it,
you sit all day at work,
and then you sit in a car going back home,
and then you sit on your sofa all day.
The human body hasn't been designed to just sit all day.
We are meant to move and move our bodies, you know.
As a doctor, what do you recommend? My watch has that stand-up thing. I love it.
I don't realize how much time will go by and it's like, oh, I haven't stood in two hours. Holy cow. I love that. I would say there isn't necessarily a prescription, like a dose relationship for sitting
and when to stand up and what's the dose
of standing and sitting?
Just do it when you can.
You have a two hour meeting, can't stand up
right after that two hour meeting
instead of sitting on your Slack channel
and responding to emails or doing all of those things,
get up and walk around.
There is something to be said, right?
Like Plato, Aristotle, all of these greats
talked about the benefit of a walk,
that mental health benefit of taking a walk.
And so it doesn't have to be this long, profound walk,
just get up and stretch your body,
do some gentle stretching, some exercising,
connect your breath to your movement, to your posture.
This is really important because that's like a way
to tap into your mind-body connection as well.
Dr. Aditi, I had another question that came to mind.
How can you use your commute
or time that you're spending carpooling as a moment for reset?
85% of employees right now favor hybrid work.
I am a hybrid worker, as are you, as are many people on your team.
There are so many benefits of hybrid work, increased autonomy, greater productivity,
and less stress and burnout as it turns out.
However, our commute back in the day
when we all used to commute to and from the office,
it served two important roles.
The first was geographic,
getting you from point A to point B.
The second more important was psychological.
It got you out of home mode and into work mode.
Think about when you're working from home what you do.
You set up your laptop often on your kitchen table because many people don't have an office, right?
So you set up your laptop, you do all of your morning stuff to get the kids ready or to get
yourself ready or get your dog or pets or spouse or partners and then you just sit down on your
laptop and you start your day. Or you sometimes just get out of bed, hopefully you're doing the
five-second rule, you get out of bed, brush your teeth, put on some clothes, sit down at your laptop.
Your brain loves compartments.
That is why in 2020, when we were parenting, living,
and working in the same space, it
was very difficult for us to function,
because your brain needs compartments.
When you are giving yourself no time
to transition from home mode in your bed,
asleep, to work mode on your laptop,
your brain can't adjust as well.
So what you can do is you fake your commute,
especially if you're working from home.
It can, again, five minutes, two minutes,
if that's all you have.
Get your laptop, your workstation set up.
Maybe you have a desktop.
Get your workstation set up at your home.
Maybe it's the kitchen table.
Put on your clothes that you're wearing for the day,
get out of your pajamas, head outside, take a small walk,
go grab a cup of coffee, look at your to-do list,
look at your schedule and your meetings.
What do you have planned for that day?
Take a few minutes to just map out the day,
come back into your workstation, your quote unquote office,
and start the day.
Why does it work?
It works because it honors your need
for brain compartmentalization,
because your brain needs time and space to transition.
We are multi-dimensional creatures, humans,
and we have many roles that we fulfill,
and we have to honor all of those roles
and each of those roles, and this fake commute allows us to honor all of those roles,
but also honor ourselves in the process.
And it gives you time and space to transition out of home mode
and into work mode.
And it's that buffer and reset you need.
And if you can try to bookend it.
So at the end of your day, instead of finishing up that last meeting
and rushing to daycare or rushing to get dinner ready. You day, instead of finishing up that last meeting and rushing to daycare,
or rushing to get dinner ready,
you know, a lot of times what we're doing
throughout the day when we're working from home,
we'll say like,
I'm gonna do the laundry,
and I'm gonna do this at the same time,
and I'm gonna do that at the same time,
because I'm home, might as well unload the dishwasher,
or load the dishwasher.
Instead, when you create that fake commute,
bookend it day and evening,
it creates a little bit more structure
and it gives your brain a reset.
That is brilliant.
And it makes so much sense.
Like I sit here and I'm thinking,
but I'm trying to cram it all in
and I get my exercise in and now I'm running late,
my first Zoom meeting,
so I'm just gonna leave my exercise clothes on
and pull my hair up in a ponytail.
And then I never actually pull out of that mode.
And so this, based on how you explained it
and the science and what your brain needs,
seems like the perfect solution.
Again, free, anybody can do it.
It'll take you two minutes
and it will help you manage your stress.
I love this.
I am so grateful that you canceled everything
on your calendar in order to be here with me
and the person listening today,
so thank you.
I already know the first person I'm sending this to.
And as we take a quick pause,
we can hear a word from our sponsors,
which allow me to bring this information to you at zero cost.
Please take a moment and share this episode with somebody
who you would love to see feeling less stressed
because the information that we've already covered
and all that is to come will help them feel better
and it's something simple that you could do, okay?
Alrighty, we'll be waiting for you after a short break.
Stay with us.
Hey, it's your friend Mel and I know,
even I have my own ads.
I'm a sponsor of my own show.
How cool is that?
Talk about cheering for yourself.
But I love you and I love the time that we spend together
and I just wanna thank you.
And so I have a free gift for you
simply because you listen to the Mel Robbins podcast.
What is the gift?
Well, it is a 20 page workbook that I designed
using science and it's gonna help you answer
one of the most important questions
that you could ever ask yourself.
What do I really want?
Like, I know you're busy taking care of everybody else,
but what about you take the time to put yourself first?
Just go to melrobbins.com slash what, W-H-A-T,
and you can get your hands on this puppy
in less than a minute, and you will be one step closer to answering the question,
what do I really want?
And once you know what you really want,
nothing's going to stop you from getting it.
Welcome back.
It's your friend Mel, and I'm here with the amazing Dr. Aditi,
and let's just jump right back into it.
So, Dr. Aditi, I'm curious just jump right back into it. So Dr. Aditi.
I'm curious since you were talking about hybrid,
what's your recommendation about video calls and stress?
Like if there are any research or anything that you teach audiences when you're talking about,
like how to be on a Zoom.
And I ask that because I've seen lots of recommendations
about turning your camera off.
And so I just wondered if you had anything specific.
It is a real entity.
So during the pandemic, particularly,
there was an entity called Zoom Dysmorphia.
We don't ever look at ourselves
that much during the day, right?
And so when you are on a Zoom, you are looking at yourself.
And so there was this uptick of people
who were not feeling very good about how they appeared
and how they looked because they kept looking at their faces.
If it makes sense for you, shut off your camera if you can.
If you need to be on, be on.
My rule of thumb right now is that like,
just showing up is enough. You're on audio,
great. You're present, great. I don't do anything else when I'm on the call, but I will often say,
hey, do you mind if I'm just going to shut off my camera? And I cannot tell you I am
met with such enthusiasm. Do you mind if I shut mine off too? No, let's just have a conversation.
Or do you want to just talk on the phone? That would be great. So people welcome that.
We all have Zoom fatigue.
It's a real entity.
It's not like laughable, like, oh,
you don't have Zoom fatigue.
Of course you do.
Your brain is not wired to look at yourself
all day, every day.
There's something very unnatural about that.
So it has been shown to have ramifications,
mental health ramifications in terms of how you look.
But if you want to shut off your camera
and you feel more empowered
and you feel like you'll get your work done better
or you'll engage better by shutting it off,
shut it off, more power to you.
Got it.
As a Harvard doctor, what's the secret to multitasking?
So in that day of working from home,
you do the fake commute morning,
hopefully you do it in the evening,
but maybe you just do it once a day.
Morning is more important than the evening.
And in the day, if you are feeling
like you are multitasking or during your work day, you are multitasking. It evening. And in the day, if you are feeling like you are multitasking
or during your work day, you are multitasking.
It's the way of the modern world.
You have your Slack channel going, you have emails,
you're doing your meetings.
The thing about multitasking is even though we think
it is a badge of honor, and we pride ourselves
in being multitaskers, right?
Like everyone listening, you probably think
you are an excellent multitasker. 100% of us think that we are being multitaskers, right? Like everyone listening, you probably think you are an excellent multitasker.
A hundred percent of us think
that we are excellent multitaskers.
The truth is only 2% of human brains
can effectively multitask.
Multitasking is a scientific myth.
It is a misnomer.
There is no such thing.
When you are multitasking,
what you are effectively doing is task switching,
doing two separate tasks
in rapid succession.
And your brain is wired to do one thing at a time.
The thing with multitasking is that it weakens your memory, your cognition, it decreases
your productivity, ironically.
It also weakens your ability to solve complex problems by weakening your prefrontal cortex.
We talked about that area that is very important
for our brain and for adulting, right?
We cannot afford to multitask.
The world is filled with complex problems
that urgently need solving.
So the antidote to multitasking is monotasking.
Monotasking is doing one thing at a time.
Now everyone will say, people say this to me all the time.
I mean, come on, it's like totally unrealistic.
Like I can't even bring that science into my life.
Monotasking like non-starter.
You can bring in the science of monotasking
by practicing something called time blocking.
You've talked about it before as well.
Let's say you have four work tasks to do in an hour.
Instead of completing them all at once,
spend five or 10 minutes on one task,
then take a short break.
Then the second task, five, 10, 15 minutes if you can,
take a short break.
So by the end of that hour,
you have made headway on all four different tasks,
but you have not weakened your prefrontal cortex
in the meantime.
The other important thing to note is that those brain breaks,
we talked about the breaks.
Instead of mindlessly scrolling,
what do you wanna do in those short breaks?
Go for a walk, stretch, try some other breathing exercises,
be mindful and present during the breaks.
In fact, a very fascinating study recently showed,
they compared the brain scans of two groups of people
and found that one group that took no breaks
and they looked at their stress at the end,
and then a group which took incremental 10 minute breaks.
And the group that took breaks at the end, and then a group which took incremental 10-minute breaks.
And the group that took breaks at the end of the day had decreased stress, better cognitive
function, memory, attention, and more engagement.
And they, the researchers themselves, they didn't read the five resets, but they certainly
used the language.
They said these short breaks were a reset for the brain from cumulative stress.
So if you think, oh my God, what's a 10 minute break gonna even do for me?
Like I'm so up a creek right now
with my stress and burnout, try it.
The science shows that taking these short breaks
can help reset your stress.
It gets you into that Goldilocks zone of productivity.
It helps you with multitasking
and gets your prefrontal cortex feeling strong again.
It's all kind of connected, Mel.
At the end of the day,
it's all just one connected piece of tapestry here.
I just love everything that you're teaching us today.
As a doctor at Harvard,
what do you do for exercise and movement?
25 years ago, I was a stressed patient looking for answers.
And that is why that's my villain origin story
of how I became a doctor with an expertise in stress
is because I was a stress patient looking for answers.
I found my way out of the stress struggle,
put on my scientist hat.
I had gone to see a doctor and my doctor had said,
you know, go get a massage and just relax,
just try to relax more.
So I was like, okay, I'll get a massage,
I'll have dinner with friends, I'll go retail therapy,
all the things that didn't work.
And so when I put on my scientist hat
and I started looking and doing the research
is when I really found out, okay,
this is how stress impacts the brain and the body.
And this is how I'm going to find my way out of stress.
Movement was one.
And then when I came out of that,
I said I wanted to be the doctor that I needed
during that difficult time.
So that's my origin story.
I mention that because movement was not something I did every single day.
I was working 80 hours a week and I don't know, I was running from one patient room
to the other.
I thought that was movement enough.
And so what I did during that time, I was acutely stressed.
I was so depleted and running on fumes now.
I was erratic in my food intake, my sleep,
seeing death and dying on a daily basis.
Self-care and burnout or even stress was not in my lexicon.
It was not in my vocabulary.
When I was training in my medical training,
my motto, how I was trained was pressure makes diamonds.
Someone sat a whole group of medical students down
in our first year or second year of medical training and said, I just want you guys to know what you're about to go through. Pressure makes diamonds. Someone sat a whole group of medical students down in our first year or second
year of medical training and said, I just want you guys to know where you're about to
go through pressure makes diamonds. So I was like, Hey, diamond in the making, bring it
on. And then my diamond cracked. So when I discovered all of the science around why movement
is important and exercise is like E the dreaded E word, no one likes to talk about it. So
I, we can talk about movement, we can talk about exercise.
To answer your question, it has changed.
When I was a stressed patient or a medical resident
working 80 hours a week and I was running on fumes
and so depleted, I focused on gentle therapeutic movement.
So I went to yoga class several times a week.
So just to say that doctors are socialized to play small.
We don't share our own personal stories because we focus on the patient.
So writing the five resets and sharing my personal story, I have to tell you, Mel, I
might start crying, but you were an inspiration for sharing that story because you share so
much of your own personal stuff to help people.
And I knew that the only way that people would relate to me is if I told them the truth and
not I'm just doing this for my patients. It's because no, I was a patient. that the only way that people would relate to me is if I told them the truth and not,
I'm just doing this for my patients. It's because no, I was a patient. I struggled with my stress
and burnout. And that's when I became the doctor I needed during that difficult time. And so your
story and your example was like a leading sort of like a light that really a lighthouse that guided
me. Well, I'm thrilled that you shared your story because you clearly are the doctor we all need.
Thank you.
And so during that really difficult time,
I focused on a couple of days a week of yoga,
gentle stretching, nothing much, and a few walks.
So I used to walk every single day,
even if it's five or 10 minutes.
Again, you might say, what's a walk going to do?
It's going to do nothing.
Because it's not about the promise of physical fitness. This is the promise of mental fitness.
And so a little bit of a daily walk.
And the reason I walked every single day when I was a stress patient
and why I suggest when people are feeling that acute sense of stress to walk
every single day is because it avoids decision fatigue.
If you say to yourself, when you're deeply stressed,
I'm going to go to the gym three times a week for an hour long class, okay?
Then Monday rolls around,
a deadline comes up at work, you don't go.
Tuesday, there's a family obligation or a conflict,
you don't go.
Wednesday, same thing.
And by Friday, you might've gone zero or one time.
Your sense of self-efficacy goes down,
you're like, oh, I can't get anything right.
Why bother at all?
Instead, aim to do something a little bit every day to avoid
decision fatigue. Now, to answer your question, it's changed. So initially I started my, I was
a sedentary person. I didn't really exercise much. I was into dancing as a child, but not sports.
Now I understand the value of sports for so many reasons. Gentle yoga and walks every day. 10
minute walk. That was like, yes, I walk, check. This is not about like walking five miles a day.
Dr. Aditi, I know I've said it before,
but I just love all of the wisdom and the science
and the tips that we can put to use immediately.
There are so many people that I'm gonna share this with.
And as you're listening, please share this episode
because it will really make a difference
in someone else's life.
And it's a simple way to say, I really care about you.
And you can send them Dr. Aditi to help.
Alrighty, we're gonna take a quick pause,
hear a word from our sponsors.
We will be waiting for you with more tips,
more wisdom, more science,
after a short break to stay with us.
["The Daily Show"]
Welcome back, it's your friend Mel. I'm so glad you're still here because we are learning
so much from Harvard's Dr. Aditi. Now, Dr. Aditi, everybody, because the person listening
is like, okay, how long? What do I do? It's just 10 minutes. Just 10 minutes.
Five minutes is fine too. If you can do 20 minutes of a walk every single day, great.
It's the equivalent of a Facebook scroll. Seriously, we all scroll.
That's true. Or Instagram or choose your, choose your poison. It's the, it's the equivalent
of a scroll. Opt out of a scroll and go for a walk instead. Do it in between your meetings
if you can. Five, 10 minutes every single day. It's that inertia that you're, you know,
sometimes it feels like you're wading through molasses when you're feeling stressed of like
lacing up your sneakers and going outside.
And if you say, oh, I'm going to do this for 45 minutes, forget it, you're never doing it.
But if you say, oh, five minutes, I can do that.
It's about closing that gap between where you are and where you'd like to be.
And so five minutes. So then now what I do, because I am of a certain age, I focus on resistance training.
I aim to exercise 30 minutes every single day.
Does that happen every single day.
Does that happen every single day?
No, but I probably get in four to five days of exercise.
And that includes walking or if I do a 40 minute walk one day, I won't do resistance training,
but I do some form of movement every day.
So now I focus on resistance training and balance because for me, I've always, I've been very
into fitness over the past several decades as you have and endurance, flexibility and strength,
right? Those were my three things that I was like, okay, that's what I'm going to be focusing on.
But I realized I got on a balance board like two months ago and I was like falling off.
I was crazy. I'm like, what happened to my core strength?
I thought it was great.
It was comical.
And so every day I get on that little board.
I have one, it's a wooden board.
I stand on it when I'm taking a work call,
when I'm taking a meeting,
and I just incorporate it into my day
because it's hard to exercise.
When you are feeling a sense of stress,
lacing up those sneakers and doing something
and moving your body feels like wading through molasses. And you have to make it easy, easier than you even think. You have
to say, what is this even going to do? Fine, I'll do it anyway. A lot of the way I describe
it to patients, I really focused on behavior change and the psychology of habit formation.
When you're talking about how to get people to engage in positive behaviors, you are a master of this.
It is about making things small and tangible and decreasing the barriers to making the
taking that step.
So fine, you don't want to put on your sneakers, take a walk up and down your hallway in your
house.
There was a study that was done that ultra short bursts of activity, one to two minutes.
So walking up a set of stairs or going to, you know,
parking far away when you're going to the grocery store.
We all look for parking really close to the entrance.
Park far away.
Take a walk up to the grocery store, run for the bus
or walk quickly to go get the bus or the subway.
These short, they're called ultra short bursts of activity
can decrease your risk of dying from cancer by 40%.
Wow. You heard the doctor, Get your walk on every day.
10 minutes, that's all she's saying, and it's going to lower your stress.
Another thing you can do as you're walking to like get out of your head and into your body
is meditation. I hated to meditate at the time. It was so far into me. So what I did is movement
meditation. I would walk for five minutes or 10 minutes every single day. It was like part of my day.
I would park my car after a 30 hour shift.
And instead of walking directly into my building
in Philadelphia, I would take the long way,
the scenic route, and I would time myself.
I did it first.
I did two minutes.
It felt good.
I was like, oh, that feels good.
I'm gonna do it again for a little longer.
So every day it builds up and up.
And you focus on your feet on the floor as you're walking. Your feet have 30 bones and a little longer. So every day it builds up and up and you focus on your feet on the floor as you're walking.
Your feet have 30 bones and a hundred muscles.
As you are walking, it's a grounding force.
And so you walk, you breathe, you think about your day
and over time that walk could increase.
You could also say, oh, I now have that sense
of daily movement, I've made it into a habit.
Then you can add your gym sessions.
No one has ever, the thing that bothers me about exercise so much in the fitness industry,
while I love fitness for myself, none of my patients have ever been propelled or fueled
by the promise of cosmetics.
So taut bellies or biceps, that doesn't appeal to someone who is feeling a sense of stress
and burnout.
But if I say, because even me when I was working
as a resident, 80 hours a week,
I had a state of the art gym in my building, Mel.
It was in the basement.
I walked in. I knew it. I was a doctor.
I knew that exercise was important.
It was a gym in my building.
I walked into the basement, into the gym,
opened the door, saw the mirrors everywhere,
the crazy machines, the techno, the blasting techno music,
turned around, walked right back out,
never went in there again.
I so relate to that story.
And I was also thinking that it's not that motivating either
because if I'm that stressed out,
I'm not thinking about being in a bathing suit,
I'm not thinking about going to a party,
I'm literally thinking about
how the hell am I gonna get through my day.
And so I love that you pointed that out because the promise of a 10-minute walk outside is
that you can do it.
It immediately makes you feel better.
It's a way to engage in moving meditation.
It also gives you a sense of control back and agency
because you're seeing yourself follow through
on something that you know is gonna make you feel
slightly better.
There are medical benefits to doing it.
Reset, I'm in control.
I'm gonna take a deep breath and take myself on a walk
and I'm gonna put myself back in control
and that's how I'm gonna manage my stress.
Fantastic.
How long does it take for all these changes
to become new habits?
It doesn't happen overnight.
It takes eight weeks to build a habit.
Understanding that it takes a little bit more time
because you may fall off,
give yourself a solid three months to get there
and you will get there.
The reason you have a most goal
is because it is a concrete metric
that you can measure for yourself
and it can be many things.
I've had patients who've said all sorts of things.
I want to feel healthy enough to take a bike ride through Europe.
I want to run a marathon.
Lots of physical things, right?
It doesn't have to be something external.
It can be something internal.
But I would say that framing it as a positive and say to yourself, I want my future self
to be X, Y, and Z. Fill in the blank.
I want my future self to have better sleep.
Or you can be fed up and say,
I'm sick of not being able to sleep through the night.
I want to sleep through the night.
Motivation comes in many different forms.
It can be positive and energetic,
but it can also be that you're just fed up of your own shit.
But if you start these today, give yourself eight weeks, but you will see a difference
within a week. By the weekend, you should start feeling better. These things take shape
quickly because your brain and your body are rewiring all the time. Your brain is a muscle.
Neuroplasticity, a very fancy science word, but it means your brain is a muscle. It's
not a grab bag. Like what you got for birth is what you got for life. It's not what it is.
Your brain is like a muscle, just like a bicep.
So in exercise, the thing with sleep that's fascinating is that like with exercise, if
you did two pound dumbbells, like a hundred curls with your biceps, you'd know that it's
doing something.
I mean, it's not going to do as much as like a 10 pound, but you try it anyway.
You're like, you know what?
I'm going to try it.
So think of your brain as a muscle, try things out,
experiment, understand that doing a little bit,
a simple change, like keeping your phone off your nightstand
could make all the difference and could be a game changer.
It doesn't have to be this big, giant lifestyle overhaul.
Also, your brain cannot handle big lifestyle overhauls
when you are feeling a sense of stress,
because even positive change,
like all of these things that we're talking about,
change is considered a stressor to your brain.
Wow. So you say in your research that there are six elements
that make up an incredible life. What are they?
The prescription I give, and it's probably one of my most universal prescriptions,
it is this idea of live a lifetime in a day.
So the genesis of this idea is I had a colleague early on in my medical training, my first
year out of residency, and he loved to play the guitar.
And he worked many, many hours as a doctor, but his great passion was guitar playing.
And he would say to me, it was a Thursday and we were both signing charts.
And he said, oh, I can't wait only two more days until I can play my guitar.
And I said, what do you mean? He said, oh, I can't play it during the week.
I can only play on the weekend. And I'm so busy during the weekend.
So I barely get any time last week. I didn't play at all. And I said, why not?
Why can't you just play tonight when you get home? And he said,
what do you mean it's a weekday to do it on the weekend?
And so live a lifetime in a day is a direct response to that conversation because I thought,
why are you living for the weekends?
Why don't you bring in all of the good stuff
during the week?
Play your guitar every day.
I had another patient who used to say similar things to me
about also ironically, guitar playing.
Live a lifetime in a day is about thinking about
the six elements that make up a long arc of a
meaningful life and bringing them into your day every day.
So when your head hits the pillow at night, you rest your head feeling like, wow, I had
a fulfilling day, even in the midst of stress and burnout.
So I can go through each of those very quickly.
So the first is childhood.
Can you do something today, even if it means two or five minutes,
to embrace that sense of wonder and curiosity and play,
really live in that timelessness of the present moment?
We call this a state of flow in science,
and it does have a mental health benefit
and a therapeutic benefit.
So can you do something
that creates a sense of childlike wonder?
Play simply for play's sake.
You're not getting a reward for it.
No one's watching you.
It's just bringing you joy.
Next, work.
This one's an easy one.
Yeah, we need to stop working, it sounds like.
Can you engage?
For us, it's a few hours.
For others, it's less.
Now this doesn't have to be paid work.
It can be unpaid work,
but something that creates a feeling of meaning and purpose,
a sense of accomplishment.
Then, can you spend a little bit of time in vacation?
Also an easy one, enjoying and reveling.
Again, we talked about, we haven't covered this.
Take a walk.
Enjoy, like do what you do on vacation, right?
Go outside.
Yeah, just ponder.
Let your brain ponder.
Let your mind wander.
There are lots of health benefits to that mind wandering brain circuit.
Next, spend time in community.
Whether you have a family or your chosen family or your friends, that doesn't mean you have
to be with them all day or even, you know, you don't have to be present with them, but
check in with someone, send a text message, pop on a quick call.
Just say, hey, just wanted to hear your voice.
Connect with someone because we know that has great mental health benefits.
Loneliness is equal to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Wow. Next, as much as you are engaging with community,
spend a little time alone because we know that that fosters creativity.
And finally, retirement.
This one's my favorite.
Spend a little spend a few minutes reflecting on your day,
taking stock of your accomplishments. So when your head hits the pillow at night, spend a little, spend a few minutes reflecting on your day, taking stock of your accomplishments.
So when your head hits the pillow at night,
you feel like, wow, I really did a lot.
This does not take time.
I know it's six steps and it feels like,
oh my God, there's no way I'm gonna fit this all into a day.
It can be two minutes, but just so you hit all
of those points, so you are not on that hamster wheel
of just like work, constant work, constant work.
It will also help with your stress and burnout.
It will increase your sense of fulfillment.
And I think I just wanna say one thing about happiness.
It will make you happier, but the right kind of happy.
Just like there are two kinds of stress,
there's good, healthy stress and bad, unhealthy stress.
There are two kinds of happiness.
One is hedonic happiness.
This is really easy to understand.
It's Netflix images, fast fancy cars,
beautiful purses or designer clothes, all of the bling.
This is something that we really understand very well
because we think, oh, if only we get all those things,
then we'll be happy.
That's hedonic happiness.
Joy, pleasure.
The second kind of happiness is eudaimonic happiness.
Very long word, hard to say even for me. It, this is not that thrill kind of
happiness. It is about purpose, meaning, it's contentment. So think about
something that brings you joy, a sense of purpose and meaning. It doesn't have to
be work related, but you know hobbies are a great thing. So when you're painting,
do you feel that sense of connection to yourself?
Are you engaged?
So those two kinds of happiness are very different.
They also have a different impact on your brain,
on your stress and your burnout.
You need hedonic happiness,
those thrills and the pure pursuit of pleasure
for pleasure, sake or joy.
It's like a band-aid and it's a gift to your brain and body.
You have to do that.
I have a list,
I have a group chat with all of my girlfriends,
and we suggest good shows on Netflix to watch,
and that's like my hedonic pleasure.
I love it.
I just watched Shrinking, and I loved it.
It's about mental health, it's comedy, it's beautiful.
I like ate it up.
It was hedonic pleasure and hedonic happiness.
But eudaimonic happiness,
it has an immediate benefit
to your stress and burnout and mental health,
but it doesn't have any lasting benefits.
But it's important.
So it's not to say again,
we're not leading a life of a monk.
You want pleasure and joy and happiness in the moment.
It also makes you feel good when you're feeling stressed.
That's what I was chasing when I was a stressed patient.
Massages, dinners out with friends, retail therapy. That's when people say, just try to relax. That's what I was chasing when I was a stressed patient. Massages, dinners out with friends, retail therapy.
That's when people say, just try to relax.
That's what we do.
The thing about hedonic happiness, it's called the hedonic treadmill, that we have a set
point.
That's why lottery winners, they win a lot of money and then they come back to the same
baseline of happiness.
The other kind of happiness is what we really need to start chasing and create a cultural
conversation around eudaimonic happiness. This is about meaning and purpose, a feeling of connection. The science
shows that this kind of happiness can actually change your cells and your brain and your body
know the difference. There are genetic and cellular changes that happen in your body with
eudaimonic happiness. They don't happen with hedonic happiness.
Dr. Aditi, you're the greatest.
It's such a pleasure to be here, Mel.
Honestly, I wouldn't miss it for the world.
It was such an honor when you asked me to join you.
I cannot tell you.
You kidding me?
I just like, I just like was sitting here learning.
I felt like I was like either at a doctor's appointment
or in like a PhD level class.
You are so amazing, Mel.
I like almost wanted to burst into tears so many times.
Oh, I mean, I love your advice.
And as you're listening, I am sure you've been nodding along,
smiling ear to ear.
You're like, I love Dr. Aditi.
And there's probably somebody in your life
that comes to mind.
I mean, I know I'm gonna be sending this
to my brother Derek, to my friend Jody,
who I want both of them to stay with me for a long time.
And in order for them to do that,
they need habits to be a little healthier.
They need Dr. Aditi in their life.
And maybe you're thinking of someone
who is struggling to eat healthier or works too much.
You know who I'm talking about.
You love them.
And just like I want my brother
and one of my best friends to be a little healthier,
to take better care of themselves,
you want the same for your friend.
So share this episode with them.
It is a simple way for you to say,
I love you, for you to say, I care about you,
and for you to get a little more Dr. Aditi into their life.
I mean, you heard Dr. Aditi say that even as a doctor,
she knew what to do, but wasn't in the right environment
in medical school to develop the habits.
I just love it when people admit this kind of stuff,
don't you?
And she didn't have people around her supporting her.
In fact, they were telling her that she had to push harder.
Wrong advice.
And so the thing about the people that you love
is they've got you. They have you supporting them
and you sending them this episode saying,
hey, I love you, I see you,
and here's a little love coming from Dr. Aditi and me.
So please, please, please take a moment
and send this episode to somebody that you love
because it really does make a difference.
And one more thing, in case no one else tells you today,
I want to tell you that I love you,
and I believe in you, and I believe in your ability
to take all this inspiration
and these eight amazing, simple, sneaky little hacks
from Dr. Aditi and use them in your life,
because I do see that for you.
I want you to live a long use them in your life. Because I do see that for you.
I want you to live a long and healthy and happy life.
And if you take everything that you just learned today
to heart and you put it to use in your life, you will.
Alrighty, I'll talk to you in a couple of days.
Dr. Aditi Nurukar.
Oh God, I said it wrong. Nurukcar. Did I do it? Neurocar? Neurocar. Okay, so I'm like, Neura. Neura, I haven't practiced. I'm like, Neurocar. Wow, I kind
of did that well. Yes. Okay. I never curse. I just, that was like my favorite line of
the entire conversation so far. Okay, keep going.
Sorry. My allergies are coming everybody, sorry.
Go ahead.
Bless you.
Thank you.
Now you're gonna make me cry.
I also feel a little choked up right now,
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm sure we won't get through it
without laughing and crying, so.
Amazing.
Oh my God.
Cheers to you.
Cheers to you.
Cheers to you.
Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You
know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes.
I'm just your friend.
I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice
of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.
Got it?
Good.
I'll see you in the next episode.