The Mel Robbins Podcast - Get Your Sh*t Together: This 85-Year-Old Badass Does More Than You & Me (Steal Her 7 Amazing Secrets to Life)
Episode Date: August 28, 2023In this episode, you will meet Judie, a total badass who has it all figured out, from killer biceps to fulfilling friendships to staying mentally sharp, spunky, and sexy. She’s got it all together.�...�Who is Judie? She’s my 85-year-old mother-in-law. You don’t need a library full of books filled with the science of staying young forever. Today you are getting the cliff notes for living a long, happy, healthy, fulfilling, and purposeful life. She will teach you:The reason moments of joy are fleeting for you and how to make them last longer.The most important relationship you need to foster in your life.The surprising thing you can do this week to create purpose in your life.Why you need friends that are younger AND older than you.How to create a killer morning routine that fuels your busy life.The 3 ways to keep your mind young at any age.The reason YOU need to be the first one to pick up the phone. Today Judie is sharing her 7 secrets to longevity and coaching you on how to get the life you deserve. She spills her no-BS secrets on how to take care of your mind, body, and relationships. Backed by research and 80 years of experience, her love of life and ability to embrace moments of joy and give back are what make her such an inspiration. I am so excited to introduce this wonderful person to you. I want you to take a page out of her playbook. You’re never too young or too old to start living life the way you want. And it is NEVER too late to be the badass you were meant to be. Xo, Mel In this episode:4:02: How to create a killer morning routine that fuels your busy life.8:18: One mantra that you need for purposeful intention.10:14: When Judie first started working out (it’s not too late).11:30: Judie’s #1 for feeling less depressed and isolated as you age.12:13: Why you need friends that are younger AND older than you.14:41: The surprising thing you can do this week to create purpose in your life.17:44: The reason YOU need to be the first one to pick up the phone.19:50: The 3 ways to keep your mind young at any age.22:10: How to maintain the motivation to move every day.32:03: The most important relationship you need to foster in your life.36:47: How you can really “stay young at heart”.40:24: How to get the life you deserve and live the way you want. Disclaimer
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Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
I am so excited for today's conversation because we're going to talk about longevity.
And by longevity, I don't mean how do you live forever.
I mean, how do you live a long, vibrant, connected, happy, healthy, and purpose-driven life.
How do you do that?
What are the guidelines, the keys, the secrets?
What are the mistakes that people make
that prevent them from doing that?
And in order for us to really dig into this topic
in a fun and entertaining and helpful way,
I thought, why don't I just track down
the most badass woman that I know in terms of somebody who's in their 80s. Who am I talking
about? I'm talking about my mother-in-law Judy Robbins. Every single time I post some photo with her
or some video with her on social media, you guys hammer me with questions. How does she have biceps
and a six pack at the age of 82? How can she hold a plank for two minutes and 30 seconds?
That is true.
In fact, we were in bar class the other day
and we walk in and I go and grab the five-pound weights.
She freaking grabs the eight-pound weights, show off.
Now, I'm joking, but seriously,
I have been so impressed because she has been a widow
since she was 69 years old.
And she lives her life in a way that makes
me want to be as connected and happy and optimistic and vibrant as she is at the age of 85.
She inspires me.
You guys ask a lot of questions about her secrets every time you see her.
In fact, I posted a photo of my family holding her up
like a little dog.
She's so petite at our daughter's graduation.
And she had just taken a gumbie and was dancing with us
at a graduation party.
I mean, she's just an absolute hoot.
And I'm not the only one who feels that way.
Her friends feel that way about her.
And everywhere we go, people are stunned
that she is as old as she is because she doesn't act that way. Her friends feel that way about her and everywhere we go, people are stunned that she is as old as she is because she doesn't act that way and she doesn't look
like it. And so I thought, you know what? Let's get her on the podcast. Let's answer your
questions and let's dig into what she believes are the habits, the mindset tricks and the
values and priorities in her life that have led to living such an incredible life
in the last chapter of her life. I mean, how amazing would it be for us all to wake up at the age of 85 and
truly authentically feel like the best days are in front of us? Because you know what? With small
changes, they can and they should be.
And that's what we're going to dig in today.
So, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, meet my friend and my mother-in-law.
Judy?
Janks Robbins.
Welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
So, there's a lot to cover.
But I just have to have some highlights here.
So, how old were you when you ran your
first marathon with me?
70.
How old were you when you jumped out of an airplane for the first time?
81.
Oh my God, woman. You're over 31 years older than me, Judy.
And the woman rocks a bikini. She has a six pack. She's got just ridiculously cut biceps.
She exercises every day, she has more fun
than anybody that I know.
And she has an enormous group of friends.
And I wanna know, like, what is it?
Where do we even wanna start?
Like, to me, you are a complete badass.
So maybe what we should do is divide this
into a bunch of questions, okay? Hold on, I'm I'm starting to get hot. I'm gonna try on the A's me
See I'm having a hot flash
Thank God I'm past that
Well
Let's boil it down to what you do every morning
What's a day in the life of Judy Robbins look like?
You want to know specifically? Yeah, what time do you wake up?
I wake up very early because I'm old.
Dude, when you get old, you wake up too early.
I have a sauna in my house.
Yep.
So I go downstairs, I turn my sauna on.
Then I make myself
Yeah, then I make myself
Water and the orange, you know, 1000, you know those packets. Oh, you have an emergency. Yeah, okay I have an emergency in water. Okay vitamin C last and I make myself a nice latte. Yeah, I get back in bed
God, okay, I have I can do that now, you know.
I don't have kids running around.
And then I go through my mail.
In bed?
Yeah, on my phone.
You go through your mail on your phone?
Yeah.
Oh, you mean your email?
Yeah, you have to make the exact opposite
of what I tell people to do, by the way.
Keep going.
And I play one hand of bridge on your phone.
Yeah, on my phone, it's a practice hand.
Okay.
I never seem to win, but I play at every boarding.
Then I go downstairs, I get in the sauna, I have a mantra that I actually, it's a fairly
new mantra that I've learned from a woman up here, which is mind blowing.
Now, hold on a second.
When you go in the sauna, are you wearing a towel?
Are you completely nude?
You're completely nude.
Okay.
Now do you wax at your age?
You just let the hair grow.
Do you shave?
Do you grow hair at your age?
Down there?
No, you lose hair.
You do down there?
I have no hair under my arms.
Really?
And not much between my legs.
Okay.
So I don't need to have a Brazilian.
Yes.
No, you don't.
I'll never forget when we had our kids up here visiting you one summer.
Kendall was here with a couple of her friends.
I think they must have been 11 years old, right?
Do you remember the memory I'm talking about?
No, they were all at the pond and they were skinny dipping in the middle of the day in the sun, in the pond here in Vermont and you
stripped right down in front of them and they've stared at you because they saw that your pubic
hair was gray and they were like, I've always admired that about you. how you are such a free spirit.
Well, you know, why not?
I mean, I have nothing to hide.
That's true, you know?
And I think, don't we all want to be with people that are real?
You know, there's so many people that you can spend time with, and you just say to yourself,
just be honest with me, right? There's so many people that you can spend time with and you just say to yourself, just
be honest with me.
Right.
You know?
Tell me what you're really thinking, not what you're talking about.
Yeah.
True.
Anyway.
So we're back in the sauna.
Okay.
So I meditate in the sauna for like 15, 20 minutes.
And what's your new mantra?
Are you allowed to share it?
Sure.
It's called sa ta ma na. And they sing it first. They go,
sa ta mana sa ta mana. And they do that for probably 25 times and then they do it silently in your head.
And while you're doing it, you use your hands.
What do you do with your hands?
Sa ta ma na.
Sa ta ta.
Oh, so you do the finger test.
Sa ta ma na.
Sa ta ma na.
And you touch your first finger.
Yeah, in a second to your thumb.
Now, the woman that teaches it here in Manchester. Yep. She's a yoga teacher, but she has taught this all over the world to people with Alzheimer's
and dementia and has actually proven that she can stimulate your brain if you continually do that
every single day. Well, I don't doubt it. I mean, if you listen do that every single day. Well, I don't doubt it.
I mean, if you listen to some of the brain experts,
you're basically talking about what I believe is called,
I'm gonna forget the name, it's Neurobex,
where you are combining a intentional thought
with a physical movement.
Oh, okay. And it's one of the fastest ways to create new neuro pathways.
It's a whole field of study called neurobics.
And that's what you're doing.
That's what I'm doing.
You're basically pairing intentional thought
with a physical movement of touching each one of your fingers
to your thumb.
And I had my group, I have a group called the Vermont Chicks,
which are my old, old friends from many, many years.
And we were up here in your gym.
Yeah. And we had her over here for a private class.
And now everyone of my friends is doing it.
Wow. Every morning.
Wow. And what do you notice when you do it
for yourself personally?
I don't know. I think I'm convincing myself
that I'm remembering more things. I don't know. It's
all in your mind, right? It is true, or it's not in your mind. Okay. So then after the sauna, what
do you do? Then I come upstairs and I make myself a kombucha, apple cider vinegar, and a fresh
squeezed orange juice. Okay. Like all together. Yeah, drink everything. That's similar to the farmers switsel, switsel,
something switsel, switcher, something like that, that my grandmother used to drink
of my mom drinks, which is hot water, apple cider vinegar, a little bit of honey, and some lemon.
Well, you have to mix apple cider vinegar with something because it tastes terrible.
Yes. Okay, so now to mix apple cider vinegar with something because it tastes terrible. Yes.
Okay. So now we've got our day done.
And no, then I go and walk for five miles.
Okay. Now this, I think, is really important.
How long have you walked five miles a day?
Well, I used to run.
I used to be a runner.
Yeah.
And I think I stopped running, I don't know,
when I was like 75.
And that started walking.
Okay, when did you start running?
A lot of the questions that we get
because you're so physically fit
and you look so young, I mean, you're gonna be 86
and most people peg you in your early 70s
and have you ever had any like faceless? Every now and then I will have,
you know, a shot here and there, but not very often. I have been lucky that way. I've never had
it faceless. No. Wow. So you walk five miles. And you have walked five miles a day since I've known you. And we've known each other almost 30 years.
And you get really grouchy if you don't get your walk-in.
If I don't exercise, I do get grouchy.
But don't you?
Well, some days.
Well, things become a habit and you can't do it.
It makes you kind of, you know, upset.
Yes.
Because it's something that you want to do when you, it's part of your routine.
It's what makes you feel like yourself.
Yeah.
Exactly.
So I think this is a really important thing because you have walked or run five miles
a day since I've known you. And that is a core habit.
And what do you notice about people that you know your age,
who have continued or who are mobile versus people
who are more sedentary?
Well, I think people that are more sedentary at my age,
yep, I think people that are more sedentary at my age, I think they're depressed.
I mean, I have a lot of older friends that would not even admit that they're depressed,
but they don't go out or they know, you know, there's always something wrong.
You know, I would have done so and so today, but look at the day it's raining.
Yep.
As if raining has anything to do with their day.
Yeah, it's true.
But I have a lot of younger friends.
And that's very important as you get older to have a lot of younger friends.
I have a lot of friends.
That's also very important.
I think being social is almost more important than exercise.
Why?
Because it makes you feel loved.
And if you can wake up every day and know that you've got people that love you, you
feel good about yourself.
We have a lot of people that write into this show who said I have no one. And if you were to talk directly to somebody who feels like they don't have anyone who loves
them in their life because I'm always surprised by the number of people who write in about this.
What would your advice be about how to get started?
Without a skipping a beat, I would start by taking
the hospice training and go and take care of somebody because who you take care of is
going to give you love and is going to make you feel so good about yourself, even if
you don't have your neighbor or your friend, if they don't love you, the person that you are taking care of will love you. It makes a very big difference.
I've been doing hospice for over 40 years. And, you know, people say, I don't know how
you do that. You know, these people are dying. It is the most rewarding thing that you can do and you know your husband does it. Yeah. What do you get out of it?
A tremendous feeling of satisfaction that I've contributed to somebody's life, you know like Judy
like I went and saw her this morning and
Even if I only spend an hour this is a very good friend as you know of mine who has Parkinson's
You know if I only came in for 15 minutes, she's grateful.
You just have to make the time.
You can't say that you're too busy.
And so for the people that feel very lonely, that don't have anybody that love them, they
can create love by taking care of somebody else.
That is such beautiful advice because we do start to look outside ourselves and look
for other people to fill a need.
And what you're saying is the truth.
Fill it for yourself first and the way to bring more love into your life is to give it
to a perfect stranger and being part of the hospice community. That's an incredible piece of advice.
You know, Mel, why don't we pause right now? Okay. And then we can hear from your sponsor.
That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's right. I'll be right back. Everybody, stay with us.
Welcome back. I'm Mel Robbins and I am here with my 85 year old mother-in-law, Judy.
And by the way, she's here because you wanted her here.
You had so many questions about how an 85 year old woman could be walking five miles a
day and still have biceps.
And so she is spilling her secrets
for living a long, vibrant, and meaningful life.
So Judy, tell me more about your day.
Well, I'm active, obviously.
I play golf a little bit.
In fact, you played 18 holes today.
And I walk.
I don't take a cart.
So did you walk your five miles and then go play?
No, I didn't.
Okay, because the walking 18 holes serves it.
Yes.
Okay, so you play golf.
What else do you do during the day?
I play bridge.
Yeah, which I think is good for the mind.
Yeah.
I have an organized group that plays at my house.
Yeah.
I have like 40 women on the list, I can only take 16 so I arrange them.
So you have 16 women that come and play bridge once a week at your house?
Yep. Wow. Okay. And I do hospice. I go see Judy. And I try and keep in touch with my grandchildren and it's an interesting
concept because I think that older people and believe me I've thought about this.
Why don't they call me?
I'm old.
Why don't my kids call me?
Why don't they pick up the phone and say, you know, JJ, how are you? But because I am healthy, and I have my own social life, they wait for me to call them.
How are you? And in some ways, that's a good feeling. rather than feeling sorry for myself that my kids don't call me.
Right.
Once they start calling me, I know it's because they're worried about me and if they're
starting to worry about me, then they know it's not my don't.
Right.
Well, I think there's a bigger takeaway for everybody, which is that so many people sit around in waste time and build up
resentment and stress for themselves by wishing things were
different or wishing more people would care. And you don't
sit around and do that. You, I have witnessed, are someone who
is focused on her life. And as hard as it may be as a grandparent or as a mother,
to sit back and go, oh, well, they're busy.
They have busy lives.
I'm not the center of their lives.
They don't have to call me.
Exactly.
If I want to have a closer connection, I have to create it.
And so I see you in every area of your life creating what you want.
And that you don't sit around and get angry about the fact that the grandkids might not
call as much as they should or your sons might not call or your daughter-in-laws might not
call as much as you wish that they would.
You've created this ability to basically give people
the freedom to live their lives,
to just pour the love out.
And if it doesn't come back in the way that you want it
to come back in terms of the frequency of phone calls,
you don't get your knickers in a pinch about it.
I don't ever call you and have you go,
have it heard from you in a while.
I don't.
And we don't talk all that often.
Right.
Ever really on the phone?
No, we don't.
I never call you.
No, we don't.
But I understand that.
Yeah.
I mean, I get that.
You're a busy woman, we text.
Yeah.
You know, you'll say, come on over and I come.
Yeah.
You know, everybody has their busy life. Yeah.
You just have to understand that, you know, it doesn't center around you.
Right.
It's true.
It's important.
I noticed you're a big reader.
Yes.
Do you read every single day?
Yes.
I listen to a book when I walk.
Okay.
So I'm always got a book on audible.
And why do you think that matters?
Because I don't want to be in my head for all that time without something to listen to.
I tried that when we practiced for the marathon, remember?
Oh, my God.
Sixteen miles.
I was like, no, I have to listen to a book. And
it gets me going. Yeah. You know, I want to know what's happening. So as soon as I get out of
the house and I start my book, I'm on my way. Well, it's also nice about that, especially for those
of you that feel like you don't have a lot of friends in your life is that if you're listening to a book while you're out, you actually are with
somebody. You're listening to the narrator, you are learning something, you're having
input, which is very, very important when you're lonely, and it's active input. It's not
you sitting on the couch, mainlining a series alone in your house, you're out and about
and moving, and it's true. You are always listening to a book ever since I've known you you've had books on tape in the car
Yeah, now you've got books in your ears as you walk I try and read every afternoon for an hour or two if I can
Wow
I want to just kind of hit some topics because I remember I took you to a bar class
at this place where we rent a beach house every summer
in Rhode Island.
And every time we walk into a bar class, you're lifting heavier weights than me.
You are super bendy and stretchy and you're sitting there pumping the iron and your biceps
are bigger than mine and everybody is floored that you're as old as you are.
You and I once did a plank challenge.
You held a plank at the age of 82 for two and a half minutes.
That's incredible.
And so I've got questions from listeners.
And people want to know, have you always worked out
or did you start later in life?
No, I definitely started later in life in my 30s.
You started exercising in your 30s?
I mean, I had children, I didn't have,
but that's exercising itself, three kids, you know?
Yes.
But no, I never had a routine.
My husband and I started running in our 30s.
How do you maintain the motivation to do it every day?
Guilt.
What?
Yeah, if I mean, you know how everybody talks about 10,000 steps?
Yes.
I look at my freaking phone to see whether I've done 10,000 steps and if I haven't, I feel
guilty.
Well, this is what psychologists call good guilt.
Good guilt motivates you.
Why do you think 10,000 is the magic number?
I don't know, they write about that.
And I believe all that stuff I write.
And what's your favorite, I believe?
That's for you, you read the New York Times.
I do.
Yes.
What's your favorite way to stay active?
Well, getting up, like you say say right away and moving, just moving. I have stairs,
I have three floors. And a lot of my older friends say, well, you know, why would you get a condo
with three floors? Well, it's the best thing you can do. I will always walk the stairs,
always my laundry's down the lower level and my bedroom's up above.
What do you think is the biggest challenge to staying active as you age?
Just making it a routine. I would think that's a challenge.
Not to say, okay, well, I think I'll take a week off.
I don't think that's a good idea.
I don't either.
You take a week off, then you can take 10 days off.
So I don't take days off.
What is your secret to staying young at heart
and young in your mind?
Staying connected. Staying connected to your mind. Staying connected.
Staying connected to your friends, old friends.
I've always had a man in my life.
I've been very lucky about that.
What does that mean?
I've always had a man in my life.
Because how long were you married?
45 years.
He died of cancer.
How old were you?
68.
Okay.
And about a year and a half later, I met a man.
And I thought I'd fallen in love.
And my children thought it was way too early for me to have a man in my life. I didn't feel that way. Well, you're not one of my boys.
I don't think Chris felt that way either. Well, the other two did.
And but they I don't think they remembered that Ken was sick for two years. That's true. So I was alone for two years as far as having someone loving me.
Yeah.
So, I was with Bill for a while and we had our differences and after two years we went
our separate ways and soon after that I met another guy who is local and you know,
Hans and I were together for 10 years.
10 years?
Yeah, can you believe that?
No.
Yeah, we were.
Wow.
But he's the nicest, sweetest man, as you know.
But he just doesn't have the energy that I have.
Yeah.
And I was constantly, you know, arranging all our social life and all our trips.
We did a lot of traveling, but it was, I was the one that was doing it.
And so I eventually got him to move back into his own house and then down the
line into a retirement community, which he's very happy.
And I still see him and we're very good friends.
Yes.
We love hands. And then I met another guy who's in town and actually
was me who met John. Yeah. I mean, I knew John, but I saw him at, I saw him at this artist thing,
you were there. Oh, this is when I first moved here and I was having constant anxiety and hating
my life and thinking I have now going to a place where people live when they're about to die.
Yeah. Yeah. I didn't realize that's where you met him. Yeah. Okay. Well, I didn't meet him.
I already knew him. Okay. But something else was happening later in the week. I don't know,
some concert or something.
And I just went up to John and I said, would you like to go?
And he said, yeah.
But he also had a girlfriend in Canada.
So that went on for a while.
And then he gave her up.
And he picked you up.
Yeah.
And so we're together and he makes me very happy and he has a lot of energy and he organizes
everything.
Like when I do a dude wrench, we just got back from a dude wrench as you know.
Yes.
So 85 years old, the two of you go off on your first trip together and you go to a dude ranch in Montana where I understand you are learning
how to herd cattle on horseback.
Yeah, we did. We did a cattle drive. It was awesome.
And you're not like a horse person. Well, how long had it been since you had truly been
on a horse so? I don't know, 40 years.
All right. So staying connected. But this goes be, but you went for long periods of time,
not in relationships though. No, I actually, I probably started seeing hands about a month after
I broke up with Bill. Jesus. Judy. Wow. So you see, I haven't been alone.
You're funny. Yeah. No, I'm fortunate. I'm very fortunate that way. Yeah. Well, you're funny. Yeah, no, I'm very fortunate that way.
Yeah, well, you create what you want.
Yeah.
And you put yourself out there.
And I also notice that connection to friends
is very important.
Extremely important.
Hey, Jude, we need to take a quick break
and hear a word from our sponsors.
But when we come back, I want you to share with us how you've stayed connected to your friends over the years,
even though you guys all live in different parts of the world. I want you to spill those secrets,
Judy, when we come back. Welcome back. I'm here with my 85 year old mother-in-law, Judy Robbins, otherwise known as
Jage, JJ, Judy is a cutie, and she's also a little energizer bunny spitfire who has managed
to keep close relationships with lifelong friends. And it is one of the reasons why she says she has been able to create a meaningful
purpose-driven life. And so, Jude, what is the secret? I'm very impressed by the fact that you have
stayed connected to the women that you raised your kids with. Like the women that are your friends
to this day are the women that you knew when my husband was a baby. I mean, we're talking 50 years
here. So what is the secret, Jude? Well, I actually, Mel, I have to give you some credit here. Me? Yes,
you. Because after Ken died, and I didn't have anybody in my life, and I'll never forget this either,
since before you started into the business.
I rented an apartment in New York, as you remember? Oh, yeah. By myself, which was a kind of
lonely experience, actually, because I would went to dinner by myself. And, um, but, of course,
as soon as people realize I had an apartment they started coming but it's still
Being in a big city alone can be very lonely right because you see people everywhere. Yeah
But I was right next to Hudson River. So I was running and I took my bike
So I stayed active physically
But I remember mentioning to you that I was gonna go to Florida. I
Didn't know you know what I was going to do.
And you said to me, pick up the phone and call some of your friends
and make sure you have something on your calendar before you hit the ground in Florida.
I'll never forget that.
And it made a difference because I had something to look forward to.
Otherwise, I just had a blank slate and I probably could have felt pretty sorry for myself.
Yeah.
But even beyond that, you have kept and close touch with your women friends.
Yes, it's very important to do that.
And how do you do that?
You pick up the phone and call them.
You know, it's...
So many people go around the back door, and I'm going to give you an example.
I have a good friend who has Alzheimer's and she's young.
And she admitted that she has Alzheimer's. So she's very open about it. Yep. And she recently,
her husband got her on the new drug, the Alzheimer's drug by byogen. This winter, he was very glad that he did and she was glad that she was on it.
Three days ago she went out to lunch with a very good friend of mine and said to
her friend and my friend, you know I just had a physical and I'm a hundred
percent all right. I don't have Alzheimer's. Really? So, obviously, she's coming all the way around into the denial, which she wasn't before.
So this is my point.
Shirley said, do you think I should call Marsha and tell her?
Marsha being a good friend at first?
Yes.
And I said, well, why would you do that?
Why don't you call Bob, her husband?
Why don't you go directly to Bob?
He might already know that she said that, but he might not.
And say to him, I just had lunch with Connie,
and this is what she said.
And this is what's so important in life,
is that if you have a good friend
that you want to talk to, you talk to them,
don't talk to your other friend that's a friend of your friend.
Right. You know, if you want to talk to somebody on the phone, call them. And I don't
think a lot of people do that. They talk about their friends, but they don't
talk to their friends. That's right. Yeah. If you're thinking about somebody, pick up
the phone and call them. If you have something that you're about somebody, pick up the phone and call them.
If you have something that you're concerned about, pick up the phone and call them.
Don't talk about what you're concerned about.
Well, we have another friend that is now into dementia, but is not admitting it.
And the scary thing is that they're thinking maybe your husband has it too.
And I haven't said anything, but I'm thinking that I need to go to Sally and say to her,
are you worried about yourself? Because everybody's talking about her, but nobody's talking to her.
And maybe she would say to me, what are you talking about? I'm fine. Right. Or maybe she'd break down
and say, it's true. I don't know what I'm really doing. Yeah.
Because she doesn't.
Wow.
There was one other thing that I would love to touch on
because service has been such an enormous part of your life
and volunteering.
After your husband of 45 years can died,
you moved to Cambodia.
Well, I didn't move.
Well, what did you do?
You did something that is just incredible.
Well, I went on a bike trip to Vietnam and I visited Cambodia and I fell in love with
the people in Cambodia.
So I said, and I was with Bill at the time, I said,
I'm going to come back here and teach English. And so I got a hold of this NGO, Cambodia
Living Arts, and asked them if they could find me in some place where I could teach,
which is really quite balsy since I don't know anything about teaching. I just know, I
know how to talk English or speak. I know she talks English.
Well everybody. But that's it. Anyway, yeah, they got me a position in this school that
the kids go to a regular school, but they come here to learn English after school. Yep.
And I mean, I had monks in that class. I had mothers in that class. I mean, I had,
oh my God, it was hysterical. How many years did you go to Cambodia? Six. Six years. You've lived
there for almost three months and teach seven days a week. Plus your daughter came. And our
daughter in, when she was in eighth, went over and fell in love.
Fell in love, and she's actually on her way back because of that experience as we speak.
Wow. Talk to us about staying young at heart.
I mean, because at the heart of every one of these stories, there's very similar themes.
You have to create what you want your life.
Right.
You connection is incredible.
And you have this wonderful sense of humor about you
where you just try it.
Like, you don't even stop yourself.
And think, well, how's this going to work?
I'm moving to Cambodia.
I'm 69 years old.
I'm going to do this alone.
Am I like, I don't even know what I'm doing.
Like, how is this gonna work?
I love, where am I going?
You just are like, okay, let's do this.
We're gonna figure it out.
So, how do you stay young at heart?
What do you think that's about?
Well, I go back again about living in the moment.
And I don't take any day for granted that I have.
I mean, I'm really grateful for every day I have.
Yeah.
And that's the only thing I can say.
I mean, I think most people live their lives like,
well, of course they'll be tomorrow.
There was yesterday they'll be tomorrow,
they'll be next week, I can do this, I can do that. Well, who is to say?
We have a friend who just was on his motorcycle, Bingo.
Yeah.
So that keeps me positive because I'm grateful.
I'm so grateful, first of all, I have a fabulous life.
I am incredible
family. All these grandchildren. I'm not sick. You know, I'm healthy. I have all my knees
and all my hips. So I'm very grateful. You don't have your hair between your legs. Oh,
well, some people pay for a Brazilian. That's true.
You don't have to pay for that.
But seriously, there's a lot of people around the world that have their health, that have
a great family, that have friends around them, and they're miserable.
Well because they're expecting something else that they don't have.
And there is nothing else. You have what you have
right now at the moment and don't expect anything more. And I think people live in a lot
of disappointment because they think about what they'd like to have or what their neighbor
has or something other than what they have this moment.
And that creates the stress.
Because if there's something out there that you want and you don't have it, that's stress
in itself.
Right.
Well, it's also amazing about that perspective as if you're not happy and grateful for the things that
you have now, why on earth do you think you're going to be happy and grateful when you get
something you don't have?
And how do you know you're going to have it?
Yeah, like you need to learn how to appreciate everything on the way.
Exactly.
And until you do that, you're never going to be happy.
No.
Because you're always going to be expecting something more and wanting something more and then
thinking that you deserve more.
And that mindset also keeps you from not only appreciating everything that's right in
front of you, like the day that you have.
But it also makes you somehow it like prevents you from realizing you can create
it. Like you can learn how to wake up every day and be grateful for this day and just put
your head down and do the work to create what you want. Be thankful what you do have. Don't
think about what you wish you had. I'll always remember, and I think this is true of every
little, every child.
My mother used to say, you know, you're going to wish your life away.
Because we'd say, oh, I wish I could have.
I wish I could do.
I wish I could go.
You know, as a child, we're always wishing.
She say, you're going to wish your life away.
Well, what are you wishing for?
Just be grateful for what you have right this minute.
Because who knows what you're wishing for might not be right anyhow.
That's true. That's true. And as soon as you wish for something else,
you're rejecting what you have.
Exactly.
Wow. Is there anything else that you want to share
or that you can think of or mistakes that you think people make.
I think one of the things that I think about when we talk about staying in the moment is
that we don't part is the process.
It's not getting there.
So often, whether you're building a house
or whether you're going on vacation, it's the process.
You think about, oh my gosh, you know, when we go,
we're going to do a dude ranch and we're going to do this
and we're going to do that.
It's the anticipation that's so exciting.
Right.
And then once you're there, it's like, oh, okay.
So it's the wishing, don't wish for something else.
Just be so thankful for what you have right now.
Judy Robbins.
Everybody, she's gonna be 86
and she's dropping knowledge.
Go Judy, I love you, I love you, I love you.
And I love you too, Darron.
You know, one reason why I love you so much,
Jade, is because you are a child at heart
and you've been a lifelong learner and you have been an
inspiration to me because you have proven to me. It doesn't matter how old or
young you are. You have everything that you need to do the work to create the
life, the friendships, the mindset and the daily habits that you want in your
life. Stop waiting around for other people to do it for you and wake up every
day and be grateful that you have this day. And yes, I'm talking to you. Whatever it is that you've
been putting off, whatever griping you've been doing, whatever it is that you think you
need to achieve in order to be happy. I hope you take everything we talked about today
to heart. And I hope you start waking up and being grateful for what you have. I hope
you don't wish your life away. I hope you make today the day where you say that's it.
I'm gonna wake up every day.
I am going to create a morning routine that works for me.
I'm gonna stay close to my friends.
And if I don't have any friends, I'm gonna reach out.
I'm gonna volunteer at hospice
or I'm gonna do something that makes somebody else
feel better because that will bring what's missing
in my life to me by me, by doing something for somebody else.
I got so much out of today's conversation.
You can reinvent yourself whenever you want, so listen up.
Your age isn't stopping you from doing anything.
Your excuses are.
Now, I love you.
I believe in you.
Get out there and go create the life that you want.
Because I need you here. We're doing life together and I want your life to be
long, happy and fulfilling so we can lock arms and do it together. I'll talk to you
in a few days.
Muah!
Alright, I'm testing you right now. See how my voice sounds.
I think it sounds pretty sexy.
Good.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten,
ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten,
ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten,
ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten,
ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten,
ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten,
ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten,
ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten,
ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten,
ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten,
ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten You gotta hold the mic up to your beautiful mouth with your gorgeous pink lipstick.
But hold the mic up to your mouth woman.
Yeah, why do you take a probiotic?
I don't know, but talk into the microphone.
Why do you take a probiotic?
Well, you can look at me,
but just make sure the microphone's there.
Okay, wait a minute.
I'll be 86.
When did you turn 85?
Remember we had my birthday.
We celebrated my birthday late.
Oh, in my house last year.
We threw your party.
Yes, yes.
Oh my God, see, I'm losing my mind and I'm only 54.
How fun.
Isn't this fun?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
Oh, and one more thing.
And no, this is not a blooper.
This is the legal language.
You know what the lawyer's right
and what I need to read to you.
This podcast is presented solely
for educational and entertainment purposes.
I'm just your friend.
I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast
is not intended as a substitute
for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professionals.
Got it?
Good.
I'll see you in the next episode.