The Mel Robbins Podcast - Motivation Is Garbage

Episode Date: October 10, 2022

The biggest secret to getting the life you want is understanding 3 words I hope you never forget: Motivation. Is. Garbage. Right now, think about something you want to change or improve. I bet you know WHAT you want to change – and what you need to do. But the 100 million dollar question is: HOW? How do you get started?  And how do you keep going even when you don’t feel like it? Look, if change was easy, we’d all have six-pack abs, a million dollars in the bank, and healed our trauma. And that’s where this episode comes in: I teach you the HOW. I cracked the code on motivation, and in the next hour, I’m sharing everything I know with you.  You’ll learn the secret to breaking old habits, creating new ones, and how to hack what neuroscientists call “activation energy.” You’ll also learn one simple but incredible tool, that’s grounded in decades of research, and will change your life forever. This tool is a “cheat code” for motivation. It’s worked for millions of people and it will for you, too. I wish that what I was about to tell you was something I had read in a book, but unfortunately, that's not how I tend to learn things. I'm the kind of person who either has to fall into a hole that I didn't see to learn a lesson, or more likely, I screw up my life so badly, I dig the hole for myself.  This was me back in 2008. I was digging the biggest life hole ever. And that’s where this episode begins.  I was at the lowest point in my life. My husband’s business was failing, I was unemployed, on the brink of bankruptcy and divorce, I was drinking way too much, and to top it all off, I couldn’t even get up in the morning. Not the Mel Robbins you know today. This is the exact moment I discovered the secret to hacking motivation – because I had to if I wanted to fix my own life.  And if I can do it, you can too. If you're a new listener, you'll learn more about how I got to where I am today.  And if you've been a fan for a while, this episode will be a reminder of the power within you to make any change you can imagine. At the end of the episode, I’ll also give you a free 5-day challenge – The Wake Up Challenge – to walk you through getting started with these tools: www.melrobbins.com/wakeup You won’t believe how simple it is to transform your life, your work, and your attitude. I can’t wait to show you how. Xo Mel

Hey, it's Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. Let's do this thing. All right, I am so fired up. First of all, I wish I could like reach my arms through the air and put my arms around you and give you a huge bear hug. I just feel so grateful. So grateful that you're here listening to the third episode. I feel so grateful of the support that is poured in from around the world. We are just three episodes in and you have made this podcast, one of the top ranking podcasts in the world

as we have debuted. And my team and I, we have spent the entire weekend just in awe of the number of comments and shares and feedback and reviews of this show. And one of the things that I'm super thrilled about is that we are going to co-create this together. So thank you for all your topic suggestions, the experts that you'd love to hear us bring on to the show.

And I just am just so happy. I feel less lonely. I feel deeply connected to you. I have not been this energized in a very long time. And I just know that what we're doing here aligns with what the world needs and what I'm meant to be doing right now. So thank you, thank you, thank you

for all that positive feedback. And I hope you're getting it back from me. So in this episode, I wanted to address the single most common question I get asked. And this is a question that I am asked when I'm speaking in an arena. It's a question I'm asked when I get stopped by somebody in a grocery store. It's a question that I am asked when people see me on airplanes. it's a question I'm asked by the corporations that hire me to speak when we're on Zoom calls. It is a question that everybody has a challenge with. What is it? Well, let's see if you can relate to this.

My biggest challenge is me staying motivated, staying motivated. I struggle the most. I'm trying to stay motivated at the end of the day. I am not doing the basic, basic things that I need to do. What is up with that? Why am I stuck? Why can't I just make my calls? I just am not taking it to the next level.

I'm not sure how to get out of that rough. What are some of those tools that I can use to stay focused? Stay motivated and get the job done? My mission on today's episode of the Mel Robbins podcast is to do two simple things. Number one, it is to give you simple science back tools to help you hack motivation. The second thing we're going to do with this episode is so many of you are new to the world of Mel Robbins, that this podcast is the first time you've heard my voice,

and you have been asking me to explain. Now, how did you go from rock bottom and almost losing everything to where you are now and building this company and the confidence that you clearly exude in the positivity, like what the hell? And what's really cool about the topic of motivation is the whole story of how I got to where I am now from rock bottom to here. And the reason why I'm talking to you has to do with hacking motivation.

And so in teaching you this amazing tool that you're gonna be able to apply to your life immediately once you learn it and you're going to be inspired to do it, you're also going to learn a heck of a lot about me. Now, the science of motivation. When it comes to hacking motivation, there are three words I want you to never forget. Motivation is garbage. Now, that may sound weird coming from one of the most successful motivational speakers in the world. So let me unpack this for you. Motivation is garbage because it's never there when you need it. And one of the biggest mistakes that you make in life, and I know this to be true because it is the biggest mistake that I made too, is waiting around for motivation to come. It's not coming.

Not only is motivation not coming, no one's coming. If you want to create a better life, if you want to achieve your goals, if you want to be happier, more successful, if you want a better relationship, it's going to require you to take action and to take action before you feel ready. I almost destroyed my life by waiting around for motivation to strike. My problems were so big that I nearly lost everything that I cared about. If I had sat around and waited for motivation to strike, I would be divorced, I would be bankrupt, I would have torn my family apart, I would probably be an alcoholic, but thank God during one of the worst moments of my life, I discovered something extraordinary. I discovered the secret to hacking motivation. And this secret, it changed

my life. It gave me the confidence and the courage that I needed to face the things that felt overwhelming. This secret, it changed the life of millions of other people. And once you learn it, it'll change your life, too. So let me tell you the story. I got to take you all the way back to 2007, and this is what was going on. So at the time, I was 40 years old, and my husband and I had three kids under the age of 10, and my husband and his best friend had gone into the restaurant business. It had always been of dream of theirs. And the first restaurant was a small little pizza joint,

40 seats, it was an absolute home run. So proud of my husband and our best friend. And so in success, they decided to expand. And like complete idiots, we cashed out our entire life savings. We took out a home equity line, because that's basically free money, right? You know, we cashed out a bunch of credit cards

because what could possibly go wrong in the restaurant business? Well, basically everything did. Location number two was the wrong location. Location number two was the wrong location. Location number three was way too expensive. And then all of a sudden, 2008 hit. And here in the United States, that was the year that that massive housing market collapse

happened. And we found ourselves $800,000 in debt. Chris and his best friend were800,000 in debt. Chris and his best friend were not able to make payroll. I then lost my job and everything started to spiral. And here's the thing, never in a million years, did I think that at the age of 41, I would be on the verge of losing my house. I would be unemployed.

I would be embarrassed and ashamed and just spiraling. That was not on my vision board. And what happens when your life goes off the rails or you suddenly experience some kind of unexpected setback, whether it's a death or you get fired or some tragedy hits your life. You know what's not there? Motivation. I'll tell you what's there.

Fear, shame, procrastination, depression, anxiety. I had all of that more. You wanna know how I face this moment in my life, like a champ. I basically drank myself into the ground and screamed at my husband every time I saw him because clearly he tried to do this on purpose. And funny, that sort of coping skill, it actually didn't help the situation. It made it a lot worse. And here's the other interesting fact about this moment in time. Even though I literally felt like I had been pushed off a cliff without a parachute,

I knew what I could do. I knew that it would help if I looked for a job. I knew that I could call my parents and tell them what was going on. I knew I should reach out to friends. I knew that I should still exercise. I knew that I shouldn't drink so much. I knew that my husband was trying everything he could to solve the financial situation and to fix the business.

And yet, I didn't do any of those things. Why? Because I didn't feel motivated to do those things. I felt depressed. I felt anxious. I felt angry. I felt scared. And those feelings are what kept me trapped.

I didn't know what I'm about to teach you. I didn't know that I could take action before I felt ready. I didn't know how to push myself. I just knew that I was going to be fucked if I didn't figure this out. And so, you know, one night, everything changed. And you're going to often hear me say on this podcast, you're one decision away from a different life. Do not wait around for the motivation to make that decision. One decision away. So I'm sitting there on a Monday night in 2008 outside of Boston, Massachusetts.

And I don't know if you've ever been in a situation where your life is so bad that you're giving yourself a pep talk. I mean, that is kind of a pathetic moment. You know, it's one thing of a friend gives you a pep talk, but if you got to give it to yourself. And so I'm sitting there watching TV, and we're about a week away from our first bankruptcy proceeding. Chris has not been paid in six months. My checks are bouncing left and right. We have pulled our daughter out of town sockers because we cannot afford the $125 fee. I am hiding from friends. We have not paid the mortgage in months.

It's just a disaster. And I'm watching TV and I'm giving myself this pep talk and I'm like, all right, that's it, Mel. That's it. Tomorrow morning woman, it's the a disaster. And I'm watching TV and I'm giving myself this pep talk. And I'm like, all right, that's it, Mel. That's it. Tomorrow morning woman, it's the new you. Tomorrow morning, you gotta, you gotta look for a job. You gotta stop drinking so much. You gotta call your parents and ask for some money. You have gotta stop screaming at Chris and buy God woman.

When that alarm clock goes off, you cannot hit that snooze button five times. You cannot lay there like a human pot roast marinating in fear. You woman have got to get out of bed and you have got to get those kids on that bus. And all of a sudden across the television screen, I saw a rocket launch at the end of a commercial. Five, four, three, two, one. And it gave me this crazy idea. I thought, oh my God, that's it. That's the answer. That's the answer to getting up. Tomorrow morning, when that alarm clock rings, Mel, you are going to launch yourself out

of bed like a rocket ship. You are gonna move so fast that you won't be in that bed when that anxiety and that depression pins you there like a gravity blanket. You are gonna launch like a rocket. Now, it could have been the four bourbon manhattons I had that gave me that idea because I was drinking an awful lot back then.

But for whatever reason, I'll never forget it. It was a Tuesday, and that's the very first time I saw it. And when I first explain this to you, I really want to pause for a second. Because the truth is, I didn't know how to do this. I didn't know how to push myself. I was the human example that was the opposite of motivation. I don't even know what that word is. All I knew is that nobody was coming, that nobody was gonna ride in on their white horse and fix this situation.

That nobody was going to pay my bills. Nobody was going to fix the restaurants. Nobody was going to force me to look for a job. That as much as I wanted and wished that somebody would fix my life, that it was my responsibility to do it. And that I had to figure out how to push myself. And that's the second takeaway from this episode. No one's coming.

No one's coming to do the work for you. All those things that you want in your life, all the dreams that you have there, your responsibility. And the only thing that has been missing is this hack that I'm about to teach you. You have made the same mistake that I made, which is waiting and hoping I would wake up one morning and feel courageous and motivated enough to do the things I needed to do. And so, when you embrace the idea that motivations garbage

and no one is coming and it's your responsibility and you are capable of doing this, that's going to change your life. So let's go back to the question that I get from everybody, which is I get it mal, I get it, but how? How do you push yourself when you don't feel like it? That's the million dollar question. So let's go back, let's go back to the story in 2008, because that Tuesday morning, in February,

outside of Boston, Massachusetts, that's where I learned the secret to hacking motivation. This is going to change everything. So that morning, the alarm went off. And I'm going to unpack this very slowly because I really want secret to everything, and this simple rule and tool that you're about to learn also embodies decades of neurological and psychological research, which I will also unpack for you. And so the alarm goes off, and all of a sudden I noticed this five-second window of time where you hesitate and you think

about what you need to do instead of doing what you need to do. It's unmistakable when you see this moment of hesitation. It's a habit. We all have it. The alarm goes off and I immediately remember the rocket launch. And I remember that declaration that I had made the night before. I'm going to launch myself out of bed like NASA launches a rocket. And instead of doing it, I started thinking about doing it. And as soon as you

start thinking about doing something, you open this window of time, I call it this five second moment of hesitation, and inside of that moment where you start to think, and that morning in 2008, I started thinking, oh, I don't want to launch myself out of bed. It's cold. It's dark. I don't feel like at this bed is so warm. How the hell is this going to help anything anyway? I don't want to. And inside all of that thinking is where the anxiety and the excuses and the depression and the overwhelm where it all starts to spin. And I could feel my hand reaching for the snooze button because it had become a habit to wake up and think about getting out of bed and instead hit the snooze button and delay

what I needed to do, numb all the thoughts. And as I'm reaching for the snooze button, I don't know what came over me. But that morning, for whatever reason, I just started counting backwards. The same way the NASA does. Five, four, three, two, one. And then I moved and stood up and I'm like, whoa, that's weird. And I went on with my day. And then the next morning, the alarm went off.

And I remembered the rocket launch. And immediately I started thinking about doing it instead of doing it. And again, the excuses roll in. And I again feel myself reaching for this news button. And I count backwards, five, four, three, two, one. And I stand up, weird. The third morning is when it really kicked in for me. Because I heard the alarm go off.

I remembered the rocket launch thing. I started thinking about it. I don't want to. It's dark. Who cares? I count backwards. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And I stand up. Now, I want to stop here for a second and explain a little bit of the research.

So researchers, psychologists, neuroscientists explain this five-second window this way. There are two types of people. There are people that have a bias toward thinking, which is the habit of hesitating and thinking about what you need to do, instead of doing what you need to do. And then there are people that have a bias toward action, which is having the habit of being able to push yourself to take action regardless of how you feel. This five second countdown, five, four, three, two, one, helps you move from being a person that has a bias toward thinking and become a person that has a bias toward action. So that third morning, I sort of, you know,

said to myself, okay, so, because, you know, I'm cynical, you're gonna get to know me, I'm a lawyer by education and I'm somebody that's like really analytical and so I tend to also be really cynical. And so, you know, I'm standing there in my bedroom and I'm like, okay, great, you just created something irritating, Mel, that helps you get out of bed. How the hell is this going to help? And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're about to lose everything you care about. Your marriage is on the rocks,

your family will be torn apart, you're gonna lose this house woman. Why not just try this thing? Why not for one day, any moment today, where you know exactly what you should or could do, but you don't feel like it. Just count backwards. I mean, what the hell?

It's not like it's going to make it worse. What if it made it better? So I walk out into the kitchen, and my husband, Chris, is standing in front of the fridge. And you know how that thing happens where you see somebody you love and you just want to kill him. You know how that happens? Well, support Chris is standing there, mining his own business, probably trying to get out of the house fast before, you know, his bitchy wife wakes up and starts screaming at him. And I see him and I'm like, but here's the thing.

I didn't want to kill the guy. I loved him. I just was so on edge and stressed out and it's so much easier to be angry and frustrated than it is to be afraid. But in that moment, I counted silently to myself, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and something strange happened like I could feel the pressure and agitation in my body release. And I was able to take a breath and speak to the man from a place of my values instead of screaming at him, which I had been doing for six months.

I see my sneakers. I know I need to exercise, but who the hell wants to exercise in February outside of 5 4 3 2 1, I'm out the door. I see the phone. I don't know about you, but I hate people. I hate networking. I hate 5 4 3 2 1. I'm picking out the door. I see the phone, I don't know about you, but I hate people, I hate networking, I hate five four three two one, I'm picking up the phone, and five four three two one, I'm picking up again,

and I'm calling friends, and I'm telling people the truth. I need a job, I got laid off, Chris and I are in financial trouble, like I need help here. I pick up the phone again, I call my parents, I end slowly but surely, I am taking the actions that change your life. And look, it doesn't work overnight. It works over time. And that's important because true change builds over time.

Quick fixes don't stick. If you want to change anything, you got to be in it and you got to repeat it. And that's one of the other things that I love about this countdown technique that I started calling the 5-Second Rule. You have 5 seconds to move. You have 5 seconds to push yourself to take action. And if you don't move in that five-second window, your brain will contaminate your motivation to act. Using this countdown technique, five, four, three, two, one, in moments where you feel yourself hesitate or you feel the fear coming on or you feel yourself talking yourself out of it or you feel the self-doubt or

the fear kicking in. When you start counting backwards, the decision to count backwards means you're making a decision to move. You're making a decision to move before you feel like it. You're making a decision to summon your courage, your confidence, your desire for something more than the place you're in right now. The counting backwards also works because counting requires focus. Now, I didn't know why it worked then, okay? And my husband started using it. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, took it into business. They start talking to landlords

and renegotiating leases. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and they're facing the issues in their business head on and talking to investors about what's going on. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and they're facing the issues in their business head on and talking to investors about what's going on. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. They're restructuring the P&L and they're having to lay off people that they love, hardest thing in the world to do as a business owner. And so step by step, decision by decision. Using this 5-second rule and the countdown technique. My husband and I were able to make the decisions

and take the actions that aligned with where we wanted our lives to go, instead of waiting around to feel ready to do it. We were able to push ourselves five, four, three, 3, 2, 1, to take action, to get where we wanted to go, instead of sitting where we were, hoping motivation would show up. That's why this thing works. And here's the truth. I never intended to tell anybody about this thing, because first of all, it sounds kind of stupid. Okay, wait a minute, Mal, you're telling me, if I just count backwards, my life is going

to change, that sounds kind of dumb. The other reason why I didn't tell anybody about this little five-second rule thing is because I had no idea why it worked. I just knew it worked. I didn't know if I had tapped into some ancestral witchery, and this was some magic spell. I didn't know if God was just giving me this little gift.

I just figured this was this secret thing that came out of the sky in a moment of desperation and Chris and I would use this and it would be our little thing. So for three years, that's what it was. Chris and I used the five-second rule in secret to push ourselves to take the actions that changed our lives. Well, that little secret, it all changed because the world found out about it. And what happened next still blows my mind.

So, Chris and I had been using the five-second rule for a couple years. We were using it to get out of bed, to exercise, to get our marriage back on track, to 54321 get the drinking under control. I ended up getting a job as a local radio host for $25 an hour to pay the bills and slowly, but surely, we were making the ends meet and life was getting better. And then I get a call from a college friend saying, Hey, I got somebody who's pulling together a conference in San Francisco and they need someone to talk about job change.

And Mel, you have changed your job more than an abacover band changes costumes in a set. Would you be willing to go give a talk in San Francisco about changing your career? And then she said the magic words, they're going to give you two free plane tickets and two nights at the St. Regis. And I thought, oh my God, Chris and I haven't had a vacation in four years. We have leans on our house. Hell yes, I will give a speech on a stage in San Francisco. Now here's what you need to know. I had never given a speech on a stage in my life.

I just wanted a fricking free vacation. So we had out to San Francisco. And this conference happened to be the first ever TEDx conference that was put on. And at the time TEDx was not like the thing that it is now. None of the talks were online. This was the first spin-off. And so there was like almost no training. And if you've ever seen my TEDx talk, you are witnessing a 21-minute long panic attack. Literally, look closely at about minute one,

and you will notice that I have that neck rash that people get when they get really anxious or when they drink too much. And by minute 19, I was so spun around and anxious, I was basically floating in the air, I completely forgot how I was supposed to end that speech. And I look out into that auditorium and I go, oh, I know, I do this thing. I call it the five-second rule. The moment you have an instinct to act, you got to move within five seconds or else your brain will kill it. And then I

said thank you. And I was so out of my mind, I gave out my email address. I left the stage, Chris was back there, staring at the floor. I'm like, that was horrible. He's like, it wasn't that bad. And I'm like, that I am never giving a speech again. And then something crazy happened. A year later, TEDx put that talk online. So now we're talking 2012. Another year passes. I don't even know it's online.

I'm busy now, working full time. I've got healthcare benefits. We still have leans on the house, by the way. But we're making the ends work. Chris has left the restaurant business. He's getting sober. He's becoming a yoga instructor. He's healing himself.

He's doing all kinds of stuff. And I'm just doing whatever I can to pay our bills. And all of a sudden I start getting all these emails from people. And by people, I mean strangers. And it was people around the world writing to me because I had given out my freaking email address. And they were telling me, Mel, holy cow,

I saw that thing in San Francisco and I've been using the five-second rule for 18 months and my business is on pace to double and I'm present with my kids. My gosh, Mel, I've been using this five second thing to reach out to executives and they're responding back. Hey, Mel, I saw that five second rule talk you gave and I have taught it to my team.

We've been more productive in the last 48 hours and we have been all year. Well, why? Well, you're not selling anything if you're thinking about selling something. The five second rule cuts through that bias we have toward thinking about what we need to do and it pushes you to do what you need to do, which is why people around the world use it now to be more productive, to sell more, to grow businesses, to lose weight, like

the ways that you can use this are just absolutely endless. Should you teach us to your kids? Five, four, three, two, one. You might want to be careful with that because they will use this with you. You know, my kids use it with me all the time. It's totally annoying. One of the things that has been just absolutely amazing is that we hear from people around the world every single day who are struggling with some sort of addiction. And the five-second rule is an incredibly effective tool that is helping people not only get sober, but stay sober around the world,

just like Kyle. Not only has 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, helped me overcome an addiction to the snooze button, but it's also helped me to stay sober and away from substances, even in finding out that my grandma's cancer was back this weekend. Or normally that would send me into a spiral to make some choices that were not in my best interest. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. I'm able to stay strong for my family, keep my career going and continue the good progress I've made after 3 and a half years of sober. Isn't that amazing? I just

get chills when I hear that. And then there's one more thing that always brings me to my knees. The 5-second rule is so powerful, it's now being used in clinical settings around the world. In fact, when I was hosting that talk show, I had a whole group of nurses that worked in a Philadelphia inpatient unit. Come to the talk show. And after the show, they stuck around and we were chatting and the head nurse at an inpatient unit in a Philadelphia hospital.

Told me that when they discharge somebody after they've had a stay for mental health reasons. One of the most effective tools that they can give somebody is the five-second rule. Here she is explaining why. When we do discharges, we go over things we practice with them during their stay and things that have worked for them personally. And so there's many what you would call hacks, what we would call modalities or tactics, and find out what works for them.

Because yours is so simple, it works for almost everyone. Everyone can understand it, no matter their emotional state, how high they come in, and how low they come in, depending on their diagnosis, it's simple. Everyone understands 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Everyone's brain reacts the same to 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Everyone's brain reacts the same to 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

That just blows my mind. Completely blows my mind. So here's the thing. When strangers start to write to you about how they're using something you put out into the world to change their lives, I felt this obligation to not only share the five-second rule and share other people's stories, but I felt an obligation to understand exactly why this thing worked.

And so for the past seven years, I have been engaged in a extensive research project about the five-second rule. I've talked to the world's leading neurologists and psychologists and experts in habits and what I've come to understand is this. The five-second rule and the active counting backwards five four three two one is called Medicognition. That is a simple word that means brain hack or cheat code. That means we can use a metacognition technique like the 5-second rule, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, as a way to switch gears intentionally and cut off the part of the brain where you are sabotaging yourself, and tap into the part of the brain where you can take control. In habit research, the 5-second rule is classified as what they call a starting ritual.

A starting ritual is a positive trigger that triggers positive habits, positive new behavior. A starting ritual is something that interrupts an old pattern, and when you start counting backwards, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, you're interrupting the old pattern, whether that old pattern is a habit of worrying, or a habit of having self-critical thoughts, or whether it is a pattern of reaching for a glass of wine as you're cooking dinner. The second you feel the thought engage or you feel yourself reaching for this news button or reaching for that wine, start counting backwards, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and you interrupt the old pattern or habit.

When you get to one, now your prefrontal cortex is engaged and you move and replace the old pattern with the new healthier, positive pattern. You replace the negative thought with a positive thought, you replace the glass of wine with a mocktail, you replace this news button by throwing your sheets off and standing up. That's why this thing works. And the reason why I believe it went viral on its own is because it was meant to. And I was the person, for whatever reason, that the universe selected

to be out there sharing it. And the other reason why it has gone crazy viral and it's used in clinical settings is because like so many of the tools that I'm going to share with you on this podcast, it encapsulates decades of psychological and neurological research. This is a tool that you can teach to anybody you can use in any moment. It always works because it's based in science. How freaking cool is that? So as I started researching and as this thing started spreading around the world, and I literally was working full time during the day and I'd come home at night and there would be just

an inbox full of emails from around the world. People asking questions, can I use it for this? Can I use it for that? I thought, if I'm ever going to see my kids again, I need to put all these stories in a book, and I need to put the science in a book. And so, despite my dyslexia and ADHD, I wrote and self-published the five-second rule book. It went on in the last five years to become the most successful self-published audiobook in the history of audiobooks. And that led to six audiobook projects with Audible. And the hardcover has now been translated

into 41 languages and sold over a million copies. And as I sit here and tell you that, I'm still floored that this has all happened because this is so much bigger than me. But I also tell you that because I want you to know. If you have dyslexia, if you have ADHD, if you think you're too old to write a book, if you think that you can't self-publish, I am living proof that all you need to do is 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, stop thinking about the things

you want to do and freaking go do them. The uses of the 5-second rule are endless, absolutely endless. Anything you can think up to use this for, it'll work. You can use it to get to the gym. You can use it to speak up at work. You can use it to make cold calls. This thing has spread around the world organically, organically, because of that TEDx talk, which now has 29 million views. And the reason why it has spread around the world organically because of that TEDx talk, which now has 29 million views. And the reason why

it is spread around the world organically is because it is so simple, everybody can remember it. And it is so simple, anybody can use it. And tools only work when you use them. And in moments when your thoughts are overwhelming or life is overwhelming or the heaviness in your body or the resistance that you feel is overwhelming, motivation is not going to save your ass. And nobody's going to come and do this for you. You have within you the power to push yourself through this moment. You have within you the power to take the steps to change your life. You have the power within you to do the little things that change absolutely everything. And the only

mistake that you've been making is the same mistake I was making and that is you're waiting for motivation to come. And that's why I am here to tell you, motivation is garbage. No one is coming and that's okay because now you know the secret. The secret is the power is within you. The secret is this five second push. The secret is five, four, three, two, one.

Move and as you move and as you inch forward Secret is 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Move and as you move and as you inch forward and as you start changing your thoughts and changing your actions. Trust me, that dopamine will kick in, that motivation will start to come, that pride will start to fill you up and it'll get easier and easier and easier. The more you do it. So I know what you're thinking. Okay. How do I get started? What do I do? Don't you worry? Your friend Mel Robbins, I got you covered. When we come back,

I want you to listen to our sponsors because they're making this possible. When we come back, you're going gonna learn how your brain can be a real bitch when it comes to changing and why not feeling motivated is normal and it's not your fault. I want to dig a little deeper, explain a little bit more of the science and this moment of hesitation because I know the concept of the five-second rule is really simple, but the impact is profound. And let's really talk about why you need this.

One of the reasons why you need this tool, the five-second rule, and you need to know how to push yourself, five, four, three, two, one, forward. Whenever you feel life overwhelm you, whenever you feel resistance kicking in, whenever you need courage or confidence, the reason why you need this tool is because your brain is not wired to help you change. It is hard to change because your brain has one job and the job of your brain is to keep you alive and that means that your brain is going to resist any kind of change you want to make. Anytime you want to take a risk, you want to step out of your comfort zone, you

want to try something new, you want to put yourself out there in a way that somebody might judge you. Anytime you got to force yourself through the heaviness of depression, you got to shut down the anxious thoughts in your mind, your brain is going to throw up resistance to you doing it because your brain wants to keep you where you are. And it's important for you to realize that this is part of your wiring. And you are always going to have to push yourself to take action when you don't feel like it. This is a skill. You are never going to be in a situation where you don't have to push yourself to do

the things that you don't feel like doing. I know that's too many don't doubts, but I don't care. You're starting to get that, aren't you? This is a fact of life. One of the hardest things for us all to do is start something new. The scientific reason why it's so hard to start is because when you're pushing yourself to do something, whether it's pushing yourself to get to the gym or pushing yourself to change a habit or pushing yourself to stay sober or pushing yourself to speak up more or pushing

yourself to express boundaries or ask that person out or make the cold calls that will make you more money. All of that requires you to go from doing one thing that feels really comfy and safe, like scrolling through your phone or sitting silently or veging out on the couch to boom, doing something different. You have to summon up something that neuroscientists call activation energy. You have to activate the movement inside of you. You have to activate the motivation. And one of the coolest reasons why this five-second rule works.

Not only does it work on its face, but it works in your body, in your physiology, in your chemical structure, in your neurological structure, is because when you start counting, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, counting itself is an action. You're sitting there on the couch, veggin out. The second you start counting, 5, 4, 3, 2, one, you're doing something different than vegin out. So the counting, it's like a little Trojan horse wheelin up to the door change. There you are in the couch. You know, you need to go for a run, but it's raining. It's cold, you know, feel like it. You blew it off

this morning. You've come up with a million excuses. You had a lunch that makes you feel bloated. You've been making yourself wrong. It's now three o'clock in the afternoon. You can think of a bazillion reasons why you'd rather do something else than go for a run. You now know the secret. The secret is motivation is garbage. I'm there every day at three o'clock, right there with you.

Not feeling like it. The second you start counting backwards. Five, four, three, two, one. You've made the decision to get off that couch and go exercise even though you don't feel like it. The second you hit one, get up off the couch. Start walking toward your closet. Change into your running shoes. Change into your tights, whatever, and 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Walk out the door. That is how you summon the activation energy to start and startings the hardest part, right? So that's why this works. In addition to the physiology,

in addition to the brain science, in addition to everything else, from a real common sense point of view, you are starting with the counting. And so I want to leave you in motion. I don't want you to just learn about this thing because it doesn't work if you think about it. You gotta use the tool.

And once you use it, you're gonna be able to teach it to anybody in your life that's struggling because they're waiting to feel motivated. You can give it to anybody once you try. And so what's the best way to get you moving? Don't worry, I got you covered. I want you to practice the five-second rule in a way that will help you master it, and here's how you're going to do it.

For the next five mornings, starting tomorrow morning, you are going to do a five-day challenge where you're going to use the five-second rule to push yourself out of bed as soon as the alarm rings. Okay? I know you're already groaning. I can literally hear it through my earphones. I'm like, I don't know. Good. Okay? And for those of you that can just spring out of bed, first of all, you're a weirdo. And the way that we're gonna make this work for you is set your alarm if you're the kind of person that just, oh, I just naturally wake up. Oh, I just spring out of bed. You're going to set your alarm 30 minutes earlier because I want to

manufacture the resistance that you are going to push through with the five-second rule. For the rest of us who just hate getting out of bed, here's what you're gonna do. Tonight, set your alarm, okay? Tomorrow morning, when the alarm goes off, you're immediately going to feel yourself thinking about getting out of bed. You're immediately going to want to stay in bed. We all do. I mean, who wants to get out of bed?

It's cozy, it's warm, it's yummy in there, you know? Especially if you're sleeping with your loved one or your fur babies, okay, I get it. That is me every single morning. My anxiety is the worst in the morning. Most mornings I wake up and I just feel the sense of dread that I can't explain. And I wanted to share that with you because it is incredibly common to have the wake-up process in the morning feel hard. And there's a number of scientific reasons for this. Number one, cortisol levels, the stress hormone are at the highest when you first wake up. Second, if you've been drinking, the number one symptom of a hangover is anxiety. Number three, if you grew up in a chaotic or traumatic household,

all that childhood trauma is stored in your body, and so you probably wake up feeling a sense of alarm. And so if you're somebody that wakes up and it feels heavy or you can't get out of bed, I just want you to know you're not alone. And one of the reasons why it's so important to learn how to push yourself out of bed is because how you set your day up is how it ends up. And there's all kinds of research that you know about about the benefit of a morning routine. But you will never be able to have a

supportive and effective morning routine that improves your life if you can't actually push yourself out of bed. So when that alarm goes off, you're going to notice that there is this major moment of hesitation because you're not going to want to use the five-second rule. Good. That's the resistance I'm talking about. That's the cortisol. That might be stored trauma. It could be the depression, the heaviness. I'm telling you this, because if that's your normal experience, that's okay. Expect it. But activation energy is now required, because your brain is going, I don't want to change. I'm used to laying here, and then you're just going to count. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, throw those sheets off, stand up.

You're going gonna hate this. Start walking towards the bathroom. By the time you get to the bathroom, you're good. So that's what you're going to do. For five mornings in a row, alarm goes off, count backwards, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The second you hit one, the sheets are off, and you stand up and start walking toward

the bathroom. You're going to hate it. You're not going to feel like doing it. If you can push through the resistance that you feel every morning about getting up when the alarm rings, you can push through the resistance everywhere in your life. You are building a muscle, a muscle of courage, of confidence, of action. You are building the skill of being able to take action when you don't feel like it. And that skill will pay you dividends for the rest of your life. Now I'd like to support you in this Wake Up Challenge

and let me support you. And here's how you can let me support you. Go to melrovens.com slash wakeup. W-A-K-E-U-P, one word, wakeup. I don't think it's one word in real life, or maybe it is, but on the website, it's melrovens.com slash wakeup. The instructions for the wakeup challenge will be there in case you want to share them with somebody else.

And more importantly, if you share your email with me, I will send you a really fun, encouraging email every single day that you're in this challenge for five days because I really want you to try this. And I want you to try this because, you know, the five-second rule, I'm so passionate about it, not because of my experience. I'm passionate about it because of the experience of millions of people around the world, who have used the five-second rule first to get out of bed,

and then to go on to make amazing, courageous, incredible changes in their life. And the same is going to be true for you. But it's only true if you're willing to push yourself. And here's the interesting thing about this challenge. Notice, you don't feel like doing the wake-up challenge. What are you waiting to feel motivated to do it? I mean, isn't that the whole point of what we've been talking about? In order to get what you want,

you got to push yourself to act before you're ready, before you feel like it. I mean, what's the worst thing it could happen? That you try it for five days, and then you go back to hitting the snooze button? I think something incredible will happen when you place a bet on yourself, when you allow me to support you by sending you these emails. I believe that if you were to practice pushing through the resistance five mornings in a row and it sounds simple, it is not easy. I think you would be surprised by how good you feel about yourself and the ripple effect that it creates in your life. You are one decision away,

from a different life, a better life. And yes, it's not going to change overnight. It changes through those decisions that you're making that add up over time. I hope you find the courage to make the decision that's going to change your life today. I'm asking you to 54321 sign up for that wake up challenge. Melrobbins.com slash wake up and let me support you. When you start making courageous decisions, when you start

pushing yourself forward, when you start going for bigger things, when you stop thinking and you start doing, are you going to fail? Probably. Well, you mess up. I sure do. That's okay. I want you to just keep waking up every single morning, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and show up for yourself again, because it's what you do after you fail. It's what you do in those moments when you don't feel like it. It's those moments when you push yourself

that matters most. Do not waste another day of your life waiting, wishing, or hoping motivation comes. All the things you desire are right in front of you. They're waiting for you, waiting for you to push through all of that resistance and self-doubt and walk toward and self-doubt and walk toward what you want. No matter how old you are or what's happened in your life, you can achieve the life you want. I'm sorry, you don't have to believe it. I've got enough confidence in this fact

to believe for you until you catch up. I have way too much evidence having seen the lives of millions of people changed through these small decisions, to know that yes, you can change your life too. You have dreams to fulfill. You've got a world to change. You've got a life to live. So I want you to get your butt out there and 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go do it.

I will see you in the wake-up challenge, and I will see you in the wake up challenge and I will see you in the next episode. Thank you for being here and more importantly thank you for trying this because thinking about this tool is not going to change your life. Motivation is garbage. No one's coming but you got everything inside you that you need. So 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go doing. And one more thing. In case nobody else tells you this today, I want to tell you that I love you, I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to push through all those

excuses and fear and resistance that's holding you back. And to 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go do it. Stitcher.