The Moth - Think Fast!: Michele Woods & Birungi Birungi

Episode Date: April 23, 2021

This week, two stories about quick thinking in the face of adversity.  Hosted by Angelica Lindsey-Ali Storytellers: Michele Woods, Birungi Birungi

Attention Houston! You have listened to our podcast and our radio hour, but did you know the Moth has live storytelling events at Wearhouse Live? The Moth has opened Mike's storytelling competitions called Story Slams that are open to anyone with a five-minute story to share on the night's theme. Upcoming themes include love hurts, stakes, clean, and pride. GoodLamoth.org forward slash Houston to experience a live show near you. That's the moth.org forward slash Houston. Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm your host for this week and Jealousy Lindsay Ali. There's a lot of different ways humans can be smart. Maybe your book smart or emotionally

intelligent or maybe your jack of all trades or have a green thumb. Our stories this week are about street smarts. That's certain knack for thinking on your feet and getting creative when the going gets tough. First up this week is Michelle Woods. Michelle told this at a Moth Stories Land in Sydney, Australia where the theme of the night was pressure. Here's Michelle, live at the mark.

Hello, it's 2008 and I'm married to a shepherd and I'm living in a little island off the west coast of Scotland. It's staggeringly beautiful. Only one problem is the locals. I was under a lot of pressure to fit in and be accepted. I had a very important job to do that day. My husband was away on the mainland at the dentist. And I had one job to do that day. We'd managed to vlog frook, our rampaging ram, for the Prince's summer, 300 quid,

to Donald McDonald on the neighboring island. I don't know if it's true, it's all true. And all I had to do was just hand over frook, he'd be contained in his little frank in the front garden, and I had to hand over the ram, take the money, what could possibly go wrong? Flashed with confidence, popped down the village to buy a pint of milk to go with the scones I'd made to impress Donald with my Croft wife skills and as I pulled into the top of the driveway just taking in the scene my heart stopped. What did I see? But frog gambling, yes gambling,

like a spring lamb in the huge front marker, instead of safely contained in the little bank, in the little front garden already for Donald McDonald. 30 minutes, 30 minutes I had. So I sped down the driveway, ditched the car, ran into the bar, grabbed a bucket of feed. Now, if there's one thing Frog cannot resist, it's molasses covered nuts. Now, not the molasses covered nuts of his fellow sheep.

No, no, no, little molasses covered bowls of protein. He will flatten anyone and anything to get to those nuts, including me. So I thought, no, no, big time to just, you know, lack a lunder. You can do this. You can do this. So my evil plan is to scatter like hands on a grattle,

a little trail of sheep nuts from the big field through the little cottage gauge, into the little cottage garden, where then Donald McDonald o'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwasio'r gwas and my cunning plan was have a munchess way up, come through the gate, once the heads in the bucket, I'll kick the gate shut and there will be. So I'm proud to find the gate, I'm thinking, I'm university educated, this dumb rams no maths for me. I'll show these villagers, and yeah, here in Crunch, Crunch, Crunch, Crunch, Crunch, and he's just about to come through the gate when I am a'r ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, ac yn ymdyn, look up and realizes there's now a gate between him and the hallowed big bucket of nuts. He's raging, he starts scraping the ground with his hoof, I think I can see steam coming

out of his nostrils. And I fancy I can hear him say, well girlie girl, you think you're going to take me on? I get up off my knees to go walk to shut the big gate and I think, Christ, I've got to get to the mainland more often. o'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'n gwaith ymwchio, yna'n gwaith yma, yma'n gwaith yma, yma'n gwaith yma. Mae'n gwaith yma, yma'n gwaith yma. Mae'n gwaith yma. Mae'n gwaith yma. Mae'n gwaith yma. Mae'n gwaith yma.

Mae'n gwaith yma. Mae'n gwaith yma. Mae'n gwaith yma. Mae'n gwaith yma. As he's too enormous balls come towards him, but I'll win my face to the side like that And then reflexively I Grab on to those two rapidly disappearing angles. I don't know why, but I just did their pressure And then won't we cut back to real time and slap We land on the front lawn and that's ladies and gentlemen's when he starts to run. He starts running, and I'm being towed behind like a rag dog.

He takes me over grassy, tussocks, rabbit holes, scattered, sheep shit you name as he does that. And I think, I'm not letting go. Mae'n gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod! Mae'n gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn gwybod yn to lift myself up, I glance under my armpit, I look at it across the sound and I see a little orange boat going by and it can only mean one damning thing. It is the orange rubber speedboat of Donald McDonald zipping down the sound, meaning he'll be up on the borough quad bike and trailer to collect his ram in five minutes. And I'm just beside myself I've got to do something and that's when I have a flash of crocodile dandese seminal death roll with that crocodile and so I fling myself to the right and we roll over and over and over like I saw due to that crocodile and the look on frog's face is priceless. The little shit is winded, and it's the only gap I need.

So I leap on them, straddle them, pin them down on the ground by his horns, and I look into his roomy yellow eyes and I go, I may only be an incomemer, but you today, Frog, you're an outgoer. And at that precise moment in Blossas Dona McDonald on his quad bike, and I look up and go, hello, Donald, you're here. I thought I'd just get Frog out the fang for you, so late of time to go in for a cup and some scans before you head back.

LAUGHTER CHEERING AND APPLAUSE That was Michelle Wins. Up next this week is Burungi Burungi. Just a heads up, Burungi uses an alias for one of his friends in the story, and midway through, he mixes up the fake name for another. Neither are his friends real name, so we left them in. Burungi told this story at a Moth Story slam in Seattle, where the theme of the night was Van Bousseld. Here's Burungi, live at the Moth. Hi. Perfect height. So my name is Bihrunji and I originally came from Uganda.

Oh, some of you guys. I came here for college. I was the first one in my family to go to college. I graduated and then we had the graduation. It was a good time, parents, friends, and we're like, yeah, this is fun. And then graduation was over and it was time to look for my first job as an adult. I had friends who had jobs straight even before graduation. I was not one of them. My friends who had jobs straight even before graduation, I was not one of them. But I was a good student. I was in student government.

I was in club soccer. I was part of the debate team. I graduated with a 3.9 GPA. Still couldn't get a job. Because every interview ended with a question, are you authorized to work in America? Yeah, we like you, but. So that was tough. I searched for months and months. And then until one day I got a phone call.

It was a recruiter. Her name was Shelley. She was like, hey, I found your resume in LinkedIn. We like you. And we think you'll be a good fit. I was like, excited, yes. And she was like, you know what, can you interview? I was like, yeah, I'm ready. So when I interviewed the next day, I crushed it.

She called me the next day. She was like, you know what, you got the job. And they're willing to sponsor your papers. So excited. I called my friends, we had a big party. Yeah, we bongs. But then the next day I got to call him Shelley and she was like, I left out one detail. You have to sign your contract but before that drug test.

I know. I did some quick research online. And the next day I went in for my first drug test. The reception was this lady, she was a white lady, she was about maybe 50s, she spoke with a midwestern accent and her assistant, the P cup lady. She's the one that gave you the cup. I showed up there like, you hear the P, I'm like, yes, I'm here to P.

I took the test the first time, my results came up. Incinclusive. Two days later, they called me back, they're like, you got to pin the cup again. I did it again, results came back. Incinclusive. I guess my detox resume was getting in the way of things. Shelly was getting suspicious, and I was getting desperate.

I needed this job. I did. So I had to go back a third time. And my good friend Chad drove me to the drug test. And Chad is one of those good friends. Like he's, he like, he works out a lot. He eats kale all the time. Yeah. And he's black.

So we pull up to the parking lot. And Chad places his hand on my shorter and he's like, good luck. And I was like, Chad, I don't think I can do this. I need your help. And he's like, my help. I was like, yeah, I need you to pee for me. And he was like, are you crazy?

And I was like, yo, I've been here twice. I know the people that work here. I think you could do this. After a lot of negotiation I give it my ID and he walks into the building. And I waited And I waited in the parking lot, I was like, oh my God. I think either Ed is going to walk up to this car. Or Ed, under feds are going to walk up to this car. I waited 20 minutes, Ed was nowhere to be seen. 30 minutes, no Ed.

I got desperate. I got out of the car and I walked towards the building. I was gonna investigate. And right there and then Ed walked up to me with a big smile in his face. I got my first job. That was Gerungi Burungi. Burungi is a Ugandan comedian based out of Seattle, Washington. Although he initially moved to America for college, he quickly found a different way to fall into debt. Stand up comedy.

With his brand of observational and culturally aware humor, he's hit stages all around the country. He's also had the privilege of opening for one of the original kings of comedy, D.L. Hugh Glee, at a sold-out show in Seattle. Most recently, he was featured on the best of the Fest list at the Burbank Comedy Festival. That's all for this week. Until next time, from all of us here at the Burbank Comedy Festival. That's all for this week.

Until next time, from all of us here at The Moth, have a story-worthy week. Angelica Lindsay Ali is a native of Detroit and a die-hard Afro futurist. She lives with her husband and four children in Phoenix, where she's also the host of the Moth Story Slam. This episode of the Moth Podcast was produced by me, Julia Purcell, with Sarah Austin Janess and Sarah Jane Johnson.

The rest of the Moth's leadership team includes Katherine Burns, Sarah Heyperman, Jennifer Hickson, Meg Bulls, Kate Tellers, Jennifer Birmingham, Marina Klucce, Suzanne Rust, Brandon Grant, Inga Glodowski, and Aldi Kaza. Moth stories are true as remembered and affirmed by storytellers. For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story, and everything else, go to our website, TheMoth.org. The Moth podcast is presented by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange, helping make public

radio more public at prx.org.