The Nateland Podcast - #107 Candy Pt. 2
Episode Date: July 13, 2022This week, Brian is back and the guys continue their discussion on candy by trying out some new candy while debating how many licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop, whether the M&M characte...rs need a new makeover, and if Pop Rocks and Coca-Cola will cause your stomach to explode. Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - Nateland@NateBargatze.com Solo stove - SoloStove.com · Right now, you can get big discounts on all fire pits during Solo Stove’s Summer Sale. · And use promo code NATE at solostove.com for an extra $10 off. · That is solostove.com, promo code NATE for $10 off on top of their incredible Summer Sale discounts. Athletic Greens - AthleticGreens.com/Nate Right now, it is time to reclaim your health and help your immune system with convenient, daily nutrition! It is just one scoop in a cup of water every day. That is it! No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health. To make it easy, Athletic Greens Is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit ATHLETIC GREENS dot com slash NATE. Again, that is ATHLETIC GREENS dot com slash NATE to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance! Indeed - Indeed.com/Nate Indeed’s doing something no other job site has done. Now with Indeed, businesses only pay for quality applications matching the sponsored job description. Visit Indeed dot com slash NATE to start hiring now. Just go to Indeed dot com slash NATE. Indeed dot com slash NATE. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? You need Indeed.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
hey bear welcome i've been thinking about that for a few weeks hello folks let's go folks welcome
to the nate land podcast uh excited to be back everybody's back sitting here with uh
Bates he's alive I am all right uh uh Aaron and uh Aaron Weber Dusty Slay uh all here living it up
uh living the dream I don't know uh stuff I had a big weekend of a lot of birthdays.
Harper's 10
years old
and then my brother turned 40.
Worf? Worf.
Worf was 40. Wow.
So it was a big one.
So here we are.
I actually slept.
Yeah, I had a great weekend too. I got my Kentucky
farmer hat because I went to Lexington, Kentucky,
and it was the best.
Yeah.
Nateland people came out.
They brought me gifts.
Yeah.
I got candy from a lady.
I got coffee that they said was rat poop free from some people.
That's nice.
Yeah.
I got, what did I get?
An Opelika Bulldogs mug that someone brought me from my high school.
Wow.
They said they found it on eBay.
It was great.
Oh, wow.
Look at that.
Yeah, Nateland people really showing up, and I appreciate it.
They're the best.
Yeah.
Lexington, Kentucky.
It was awesome.
All right.
That's enough of Dusty.
And we had the comedy off-Broadway.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's a fun club.
It was great.
All right, let's start.
I guess we're just starting with, we're doing candy comments.
We're doing an episode on candy, candy part two today.
Because apparently we didn't get into it enough.
I got into hay bear.
The bear talk I enjoyed.
So here's your first candy.
Brandon Underwood.
I imagine the real reason that Brian was not in attendance for this episode is because the only candies that he has experienced with are Werther's Original
and those weird peppermint candies that old people always seem to carry.
Is that true?
I mean, I do like a good hard candy, I admit.
Do you?
Do you think you like it as you got older?
I like to carry them in my pocket and give them to kids.
Do you have one in your pocket right now?
I don't.
I don't, but.
Do you think you like hard candy more as you've gotten older?
Do you think it's changed?
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
Just a good old Werther's original.
Naturally just go.
Why do you think that is?
Do you think it's about the teeth?
Do you think as you lose teeth quality, you like hard candies?
You just like something hard and –
To suck on.
Yeah.
Oh, maybe if you have dentures, a chewy candy rips your dentures off the top of your mouth.
So you just want something that, yeah, lasts a long time.
Yeah, I think everything, as you get older, you just end up seeing stuff that you're like,
yeah, that makes sense now it's pretty crazy what was uh i thought i was trying to joke on something uh by getting
it's just little i i don't know i'm blanking on maybe if you're old and you're bored too it's like
opening the candy takes a while yeah and then it's all about you get a lot going on yeah you
get to dig around in your pocket. You get the changes in there.
That's part of your day.
Yes.
Part of your day.
One of the funner parts of my day, actually.
It's because it makes a lot of noise and people will look at you and you can go,
hey, just so you know, I am still around.
My grandparents always had these candies, these strawberry.
Those are the best.
Those are very good.
Where the packaging looks like a strawberry.
Those were the best. Oh, those are very good. Where the packaging looks like a strawberry. That's nice.
Those were, if you went, those were cool grandparents.
Because if they had those, it was like, you know, the other candy they'd have, it's the Werther's, it's stuff.
You're like, this is not good.
And then, but they had the strawberry.
I feel like that reminds me of church.
Yeah, I feel like there was a lot of that candy at church.
And they were just unbelievable.
Like in one of those glass things where you lift the lid off,
and there's just candy.
And you're not surprised by this.
Yeah.
Because you're like, it looks like a strawberry.
I know what I'm getting.
Yeah, it's very good candy.
They did a great job.
Never knew the name of it.
I don't even know the name.
What is the name?
Sweet Delight?
Arcor Kosher filled strawberry hard candies.
Yeah.
Kind of a long name.
Couldn't have even ever said the name of that.
I would have just been like the one.
The strawberry candies.
That's all you need.
Most popular.
Yeah.
You only know them by their looks.
Travis White.
I love how Aaron was dissing a Snickers because it's like a whole meal with the addition of the peanuts.
However, he loves a Take Five, which is like a Snickers plus a pretzel.
Take five is the real trail mix bar here.
That's fair.
Okay.
You would think the amount that you hike.
Just took that quite well.
Well, I feel like there's some misconception, or maybe there's not,
that I don't like a Snickers bar.
I do like a Snickers bar.
Yeah.
I don't think anybody questions it.
I like a Snickers bar.
I do like a Snickers bar. Yeah.
I don't think anybody questions that.
No one thinks Aaron has a line drawn with his candy.
Is there any candy you don't like?
I mean, doesn't that just...
Did you just lick the apple?
He actually probably doesn't like the strawberry candy.
It's too close to fruit.
Too close.
Nothing jumps out at me, but if I think of one, I'll jump in.
He probably opened this to tell us that he didn't like it,
and then we all started saying how much we liked it.
No, I love these candies.
The only reason we went to my grandparents' house.
Oh, okay.
Stopped up on these.
How you doing?
I hope they're not listening.
Just walked by them.
Whose house is this?
Obviously not listeners of the podcast, I guess.
Brittany.
They're dead.
Okay.
Sorry.
That's okay.
Your grandparents?
Yeah, those two.
Golly.
Spoiler alert.
Brittley Franzey uh Brittley
Franzy
Brittley
uh
I bet you think
Brittany a lot
yeah
I bet she gets that
she goes
Brittley
they go
Brittany
she goes
no Brittley
Brittley
Brittley
uh
listen to Aaron
talk about eating
popcorn off his chest
reminded me of a hack
someone told me
just put a hoodie
on backwards
and use the hood
as the bowl
that's not bad I don't think I want to get my clothes this dirty Someone told me just put a hoodie on backwards and use the hood as the bolt.
That's not bad.
I don't think I want to get my clothes this dirty.
Yeah.
You're right.
You're going to get some grease stains.
You don't have to use your hands, though, if you do it like that.
I guess you could just go. Yeah, that's almost too much.
That's like a trough.
But didn't you say you just poured it on your chest?
Yeah, but that's like, then you'd still eat it with your hands.
I know, but.
Your chest becomes a plate.
Yeah, the hoodie grease isn't going to bother you then.
No, no, no.
You just got to designate one hoodie for this is my popcorn hoodie.
If the grease is in the hood, a lot of people think you have oily hair.
Oh, that's true.
Do you go, like you answer the door and you got a hoodie on backwards and you're like,
hello?
And you're just, like your whole night got ruined what you're like
why is your hoodie on back i got a lot going on it just it's my me time dude
he goes it's late you know it's 6 p.m why are you ringing my doorbell
i had a plan in the, wing sauce on your hands. Hoodie on backwards, pants on backwards.
He got two Diet Cokes in his back pocket pants.
Hello.
Everything is ruined.
Cam, I love the discussion of what you eat when alone.
When I lived in New York City, I'd stop at Tim Hortons after work, works get two donuts and eat them on the subway on the way home so my wife never knew then one
saturday we happened to be walking by that tim norton tim hortons and i said hey look at that
you don't see those very often so we went in and i ordered one donut the guy recognized me yelled
out just one today the jig was up he shouldn't have took her to the scene of the crime. Yeah.
Yeah, that was bold.
He was asking for it. Yeah.
Even the idea of, oh, look at that.
You don't see that too often.
Cam wanted to get caught.
Deep down, he felt like he needed to get caught.
Yeah.
He needed to get railed in.
Ben Verzer.
Zoe Saldana was in Marvel movies, too.
She's part of the guardians of the galaxy so tom cruise
is the highest growing actor not affiliated with marvel too bad billy the kid wasn't there he may
have caught it would you have caught that yeah when i was watching the episode i i was yelling
at the screen yeah she's uh so yeah she was in all the Avengers Endgame and Avengers Infinity War
So that's pretty crazy
The two highest grossing movies of all time
She was in both of them
She's a blue person and a green person
What was the other one?
Avatar I think
Still number one
Endgame's number two
The new Top Gun has to be coming close to passing all these though
I don't know
I can't remember the last time a movie's been talked about this much yeah in such a positive way i feel like
it's uh dying down though well i'm trying to get a rolling again yeah and now they're making out
but it doesn't get like it's i'm not i loved it and we talked about it but it's like i don't i
don't hear much uh much about it as much.
You know, I looked up, I was trying to watch a movie last night.
And I was looking up Tom Cruise's top movies.
It was ranked very low.
No, wait.
Maybe that was ranked.
The first Top Gun was ranked extremely low of his top movies.
On some, you know, like, I don't know, IMDB.
Like, someone's ranking.
As far as like box office gross? No, no. Just like, I just typed in. I was really trying to think. I don't know, IMDB. Like, someone's ranking. As far as, like, box office gross?
No, no, just, like, I just typed in.
I was, like, trying to think.
I don't want to watch.
I didn't know what movie I wanted to watch.
I was, like, I almost watched The Firm.
Firm's great.
Firm is good.
It felt like a whole thing.
It's a John Grisham book.
Yeah, it felt like a whole thing.
You would hate it.
I went with Urban Legend.
And I'm in the mix of that right now.
I had to stop it because I went to sleep. What's Urban Legend. And I'm in the mix of that right now. I had to stop it because I went to sleep.
What's Urban Legend?
These people all die by Urban Legend.
You are a little different from the John Grisham book.
Tom Cruise is not in this, by the way.
Yeah, that's just legend.
No, this is...
Oh, Urban Legend is not a Tom Cruise movie.
Urban Legend is not a Tom Cruise movie.
I bailed on all of it.
I started... Then at one point, not a Tom Cruise movie. Urban Legends, not a Tom Cruise movie. I bailed on all of it. I started, at one point I started Pelican Brief,
and I guess this seems like a lot,
and then I went with Urban Legend, horror slasher.
Jared Leto's in it.
It's hard to get into a movie now because you have so many options.
You watch five minutes and you're like, do I really want to do this whole thing yeah when i have every movie that i
could ever want to watch it's true i almost did jack reacher again oh that's a good one because
that's fun i want those kind of movies like a jack reacher i went through jason statham's i go what's
his top movies and i think i've seen all of them. Just a fun, fast-moving.
Okay.
I re-watched last night this documentary that's so good called The Battered Bastards of Baseball.
I think I told you about this.
It is so good.
It's about Kurt Russell's dad just bought a baseball team
in Portland, Oregon, single A team.
They weren't affiliated with any major league team.
So he just had open tryouts and guys came from all over the country just to
try out to play on this team.
Oh, that's awesome.
And they were all guys who had been rejected by other teams.
So they had this chip on their shoulder and they just start beating everybody.
And it's just, it's a great.
It's on Netflix?
It's on Netflix.
Wow.
One of the guys and the Bat Boy invented Big League Chew.
Their star player is missing.
They don't know where he is now.
They think he was an FBI informant.
Kurt Russell played.
I mean, they would just throw anybody out there and just let them play.
That's the best part, that Kurt Russell played.
I like that.
Did you see –
Oh, yeah, go ahead.
I'm so into this movie.
If the pitcher needed more time, they would throw a ball out on the field
and let their dog just run out on the field,
and they'd have to stop play until they corraled the dog.
They would just do anything, and it was just – it was really great.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
I need to watch that.
Did you see Joe List, the comedian, got embedded on a minor league baseball team?
Oh, yeah.
What was that?
I don't know.
I don't know how that happened, but that's that's the dream right yeah is he was he a coach or i think he was a first base coach yeah i heard him on his
podcast talking about he wanted to get in that bat but i don't know if that ever happened yeah
but he's in the dugout and like on the team what's there even really to do as the first base coach
oh dusty so much so much is there a lot you Well, a lot of singles. So you're the third base coach is the guy that's like doors wide open.
Okay.
He's basically going go or don't go.
And if they go and they get out, he could just say,
I thought you'd be faster.
Yeah, yes.
I remember there was a pressure of being a third base coach
because you didn't know.
You got to really judge to be like, where's the ball?
Yeah.
Can this dude make it there?
And he also gives signals to the guy if he should steal or not.
Oh, third base coach does that.
Yeah.
Well, he gives, yeah.
First base coach just says back.
Pitcher throws over.
Back.
Right, right.
No, I was defending the first base coach.
But I'm saying that's a pretty important thing.
Oh, third base coach.
I think third base has a lot more on him responsibility.
That's why the head coach is the third base coach,
like in college baseball and stuff.
Okay.
Never mind.
A lot going on.
They're both pretty important.
They're both important.
I don't know.
How about that?
I don't.
What's the point of the first base?
Yeah.
Yeah.
First base.
I don't feel like I'm more convinced now that the first base coach is useful.
Yeah. Did you play sports? A little bit know i did a rec league here and there you didn't play like
growing up like uh little league or something or no no well yeah literally like rec league you know
i played uh you know i was i was a good field rec league yeah it was rec center dixie youth for us
oh yeah i had a little dixie youth we didn't have little league in alabama
it was dixie boys that's what i played my whole life but i thought it was just
generally called little league base like it was no little league's an official organization oh
like pop warner is oh we were a green team the eagles oh yeah high top trucker hats i was into
it probably where i picked it up oh yeah yeah how. Yeah. How long was your hair? Well, not very long.
My dad was in charge back then, so I wasn't allowed to do fun things with my hair.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My mom cut lines into my hair one time, and my dad picked me up from school that day and then got my head shaved.
Yeah.
Immediately.
Wow.
All right, the MAPS comments.
Wow.
All right, the MAPS comments.
Mark Maxwell, Nate just proved why the one-third pound burger didn't work.
Yeah.
The one-three?
One-three.
The one-three.
Yeah.
It looks, I mean, if you're just looking at the numbers,
it looks like it's less than a quarter pound. Yeah.
Fractions are tough, man.
Yeah, they are.
You're very nice Aaron
it didn't work
the burger didn't work
well they gotta up
the education system
if they want us to
well it's like
me watching Urban Legend
you're like
do I want to be the whole
you know
what do you want
you want a third pound burger
and you're like
you're a jeans pick
he's a Vincent's pick
yeah
yeah
Kristen Flaval Flaval the fact that aaron
the secret genius of the group has had to use his phone to get to nate's house for 105 episodes is
mind-boggling you blew it buddy you blew it i blew it well i recommend even if you do know where
you're going you put it in google maps it'll let you know if there's traffic jams that'll let you know how to avoid them it's very useful but then when you don't have it
how many traffic jams have you got caught in come over
to this place yeah uh none none stick out yeah
i'm surprised y'all were fine with him saying that. If I'd have said that, I'd have been crucified on here.
I feel like I'm getting a fair amount of flack for it.
Yeah.
It took Kristen to do it.
Yeah.
Well, I figured you had like a van drop you off.
Me?
Yeah.
I do.
From where?
The church.
The senior?
The church.
The senior van the church. The senior man, yeah.
The one guy from the church who picks up people, don't drive at night.
Next stop, podcast.
Brian gets up.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Be back at four.
Yeah.
Me to the stop sign.
Mr. McDonald, the fact that Dusty dusty doesn't trust clocks but 30 minutes later
says i think if you were a small enough you could ride a seahorse is why he's a great addition to
the show we need a little more dusty in our lives yeah i mean i agree i mean if you were small
enough to ride a seahorse you would not care about time no you'd just be on that seahorse all day
yeah just riding around the ocean, checking it out.
Yeah.
And like, this is a good time.
Yeah.
Time would stop.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I don't know what else you have to do.
Right.
If you're small enough to ride a seahorse, you can't have, what other plans could you have?
Right.
That's true.
You just got to check around, go out to the coral reefs.
Yeah.
See what's happening.
Can I ask logistically, how would you ride the seahorse?
There's not much of an arc in the back. back well you'd have to get a saddle for sure
they're like this one this guy to the right here yeah he's got that little fin
yeah you just sit on that really just tie on okay yeah it'd be tiring you're almost like standing up
it's almost like a segue maybe you ride in the curl of the tail maybe he just holds you in that tail yeah you'll get a bit bumpy i bet you could have a saddle and you stand
and you stand on the saddle and you kind of like lean forward right okay but if he wants you off i
mean you're in water so that helps you know uh-huh i'm thinking a little saddle that fits inside the
tail and you just ride along the bottom i don't know no that
doesn't make don't be ridiculous uh i think you just wrap your legs around his belly there and
hold on yeah yeah okay all right uh that one's carrying a q-tip oh yeah so carry you like that
bringing it to me yeah yeah probably you like a good q-tip don't you love a q-tip. Oh, yeah. So it would carry you like that. Bringing it to me. Yeah. Yeah.
You like a good Q-tip, don't you? I do love a Q-tip.
I like Q-tips.
Yeah, they're great.
My friend told me he busted his eardrum with a Q-tip.
I'm like, you know, be careful.
Yeah.
How far are you going?
Yeah.
It's not a free-for-all.
Yeah.
You know?
People say don't use them.
Yeah.
Yeah. I use them. They've been doing say don't use them. Yeah.
I use them.
They've been doing good for a long time. My buddy from college, he told me, he saw me using Q-tips once,
and he said, well, my dad once put them in as earplugs,
and then he turned his head too quickly, and it hit a wall,
and it messed up his ear pretty bad.
Don't do that.
Yeah, well, I don't think i'm
ever sideways close to a wall i mean i don't know yeah what he was walking around just left him in
his ears yeah what do you need earplugs for if you're walking around i think he was using heavy
machinery in his garage or something and he couldn't find earplugs so he just put a couple
q-tips in this guy seems like a disaster i mean no yeah there's a point that you're going all right you go that's like not using knives and you're
like why he goes well i carried it the backwards way with my hand and then i ran into a wall
and it sliced my hand open you're like oh but there's a handle he's like well i didn't
yeah i was busy yeah i was yeah i was you know I just, I would, I wish that, you know, the commercial you see where they're
showing inside of someone's ear.
Yeah.
I'm about done with that.
My goodness.
What do you mean?
I mean, like that and the one that you go up your nose and they just show like how it
works.
It's like worse than watching a horror movie.
Yeah.
It's so gross.
The ear ones, they go, instead of using Q-tips, you use something,
and it shows it yanking it out of your ear.
I have a little pen at home with a camera at the end of it where you can dig it
just to see what's going on in there.
I saw a bunch of those videos.
I want to see what's going on in mine.
What do you want?
It's down there.
What do you see in there?
Pull it up.
What's in your ears?
It's just earwax and stuff. up what's in your ears it's just ear wax and stuff
you just yeah you can clean out your ears with them i just can't believe this guy is using heavy
machinery and he's like it's so loud let me get a couple of q-tips and i'll be honest with you
i don't know if i've ever had my head that close to a wall where i would when i would jam it like
i just don't think i've ever made a turn and been like, God, that wall. Your shoulder would hit the wall first.
Maybe it messed up his... Oh, that's fair.
How are you...
How long were the Q-tips? I think these were long
Q-tips.
They must have been. Or he walks around
head first, bent over head first.
And then just
swaying as like, yeah,
like a dinosaur.
I need to follow up with him.
I need to figure out how that happened.
Yeah.
Could be an urban legend.
Could be an urban legend.
That's what I watched last night.
A pattern horizon.
Nate sees the sun rise and set every day in his house,
and they think this is amazing.
He knows north.
Let me go tell you something about the pattern horizon.
I've never once thought about which way the sun rises or sets. I generally know north. Let me go tell you something, pattern of rising. I've never once thought about which way the sun rises or sets.
I generally know north.
Me and Justin Smith went on a ride this weekend.
We just rode around, and I drove.
No, GPET just drove south and then got home.
You just turned around and drove north.
Yeah, but we were on back roads.
There's no rhyme or reason to how.
I wasn't on an interstate.
We were just doing back roads.
You just felt it out?
Just felt it out.
I felt this feels north, and I was right.
Could you see the sun?
I don't even look at the sun.
He looks at moss on the trees.
No, I look at just what I feel.
I just go, this feels right.
Your internal compass.
Yeah.
That's impressive.
Yeah.
It's like Kramer telling time at night.
Yeah.
It was a little bit tougher.
Oh, dude.
I forgot to tell you.
Somebody in Indianapolis this weekend, a big podcast fan, told me.
He said, I kept track of every Seinfeld reference made on Nate Land.
And there's only two episodes where there have not been a Seinfeld reference.
Wow.
And both of them were when Brian wasn't here.
Oh, really? Wow. That's funny. Or he Seinfeld reference. Wow. And both of them were when Brian wasn't here. Oh, really?
Yeah.
Or he made two this episode.
Yeah, that's the only two where Seinfeld was not brought up
in any way, shape, or form.
Oh, wow.
And I think it's Brian's the one throwing it out.
Yeah, there you go.
All right.
All right.
What's the moss on the trees?
Did we talk about that?
I can't remember if we have.
I saw that somewhere, I feel like.
I think it grows north.
You know, the moss shows up. shows people got lost in the woods and the moss grows north you follow the moss oh it's a king of the
hill episode i was watching i think yeah that's what they said yeah yeah yeah king of the hill
mixed up with naitland in your head yeah it's just you know everything goes in here and i don't know
what people have commented excuse me all. All right. Still coming back.
Yeah.
That we're the characters from King of the Hill.
I haven't watched King of the Hill.
Oh, I'd be Dale for sure.
I always think about myself being.
He's a.
He used to.
He sprays pesticides.
Yeah.
And is into conspiracies.
Yeah.
He may have been based off you.
Yeah.
Probably could sue them.
Yeah.
That's maybe why you are why you are.
Yeah. The pesticides. Maybe. You like maybe why you are why you are. Yeah.
The pesticides.
You like Dale and you go, that's a guy that gets it.
I think so.
Do you ever worry about that?
That those pesticides may have affected you in a way you don't even realize?
All the time.
Yeah.
Every time they say glyphosate causes cancer, I go, oh, I remember that we had that.
Yeah.
And what we sold.
You sold it.
Yes.
It was just in your car all the time.
Yeah. I used to spill it, just get it on my hands,
and just go on about my day.
I didn't freak out and go, let's wash up.
Yeah, there's no hand sanitizer back there.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
No.
No.
We were just doing it.
All right.
We'll see what happens.
We're going to keep us posted on how that plays out.
Episode 400, Dusty has no hair.
He's like, well, I'm kind of paid off.
There's something.
Michael Cupello.
The best part of the episode is Nate wisely advising a new comic to punch up with his jokes
only minutes after calling Dusty's sister a cow.
I know this is the type of hypocrisy that led Turler to jump and ship,
but I am all in.
Keep it, boys.
Yeah.
That's great.
That's okay.
Yeah.
I don't know if you did advise comics to punch up.
I didn't probably.
I think we settled on you just punching whichever way nobody else is punching.
Yeah, there's that.
But I do think you should punch up.
You don't make fun of people
down but but i mean but there's a it's uh but riffing maybe is different yeah and us joking
and riffing is like what does michael funny what does michael capella think of me to think that
that's punching down yeah you know i mean that seems like he's punching down at me right now
inadvertently yeah yeah well it would be like when you're,
like you look at this as equals,
and so we're all just making fun of each other.
Right.
Because this is a table that's just about,
like just make jokes and have fun.
That's the point of this.
So the only way to do that is to punch at each other.
That's how you think of this, as equals?
Huh?
At the table.
I didn't know the sad news over here was going to jump in,
but as the point of it
is supposed to be that.
Is it not?
Yeah, the point of it is.
That's what I'm saying.
What do you want?
Michael Capella.
What sadness do you want
to bring to this?
That you,
what do you not think?
You don't think it is equals?
No, I'm just trying to be funny.
Only Michael Capella
doesn't think it is equals.
It's called Nate Land.
Huh? It's called Nate Land. Huh?
It's called Nate Land.
What do you want it to be called?
I'm fine with it being called Nate Land, but it's your podcast.
Yeah, but I think we're all on this together.
Yeah.
I don't think you want it to be called your name.
Batesville. It's so close. It's one letter your name. That's what Batesville.
It's so close.
It's one letter away.
Yeah.
I mean, there's Batesville.
There's Aaron Land.
There's Dusty Town.
Dusty Town.
Everybody has like their own.
Yeah.
You've been following Dusty Town?
I mean, I think I follow it, but I don't see what's happening.
Oh, they're doing great stuff.
Yeah.
Everybody's got their own thing.
Yeah.
But not enough for, you know, over here.
Still wants more.
Chase Schuber, one of the most isolated and uncontacted groups of people on Earth
are the people on North Sentinel Island in the Bay of Bengal.
Multiple times people have tried to land and boat to the
island but multiple times people have been killed because of it now that island is protected by the
indian navy and it is illegal to visit the island at all looks pretty inviting yeah just people at
the shore with bows yeah it's crazy yeah it's always like if they kill someone, though.
I mean, it's like,
you just like,
if you die,
if you're one that went over there
and you died,
and then you're the family,
you're like,
can we do anything?
And they're like, no.
Sounds like India.
The answer is no.
I guess not.
Sounds like India
has some interest over there.
Yeah.
Well, you asked last week
on the maps episode about, is there anywhere that hasn't been mapped? Yeah. I think that's kind of based on what he's there. Yeah. Well, you asked last week on the maps episode about,
is there anywhere that hasn't been mapped?
Yeah.
I think that's kind of based on what he's saying.
Right.
And Antarctica is a crazy, doing my research on it,
because no one owns Antarctica.
Yeah.
It's just 50 years ago, they did a treaty of Antarctica
where like 14 countries all kind of share it.
Yeah.
But you can't just go to Antarctica.
You have to have a special permission to go there.
Who would you call?
Well, you can go to a boat as a tourist
and just land at the northern tip and just step off on it,
but you can't just go on your own.
You'd have to call the U.S. government
and get some kind of special permission.
They don't let people go.
So there's a lot of Antarctica.
We don't know what's going on there. Am i legally allowed to go to the moon if i wanted to
didn't china own it now did they claim that they i think so oh they try to claim they they never
even landed on it they i think if you build a ship yeah just yeah exactly yeah build the ship i mean
jeff bezos was like i'm gonna go to the moon And then he just went
Way up in the sky
And then came down
And then they all
Clapped for him
Well they all say
This space thing
I don't think he said
I'm going to the moon
He said he's gonna go to space
And they never really
You know it's like
They go to like
You know it's like
We were like above the cloud
You're like
Higher than a plane
He's like
I mean barely
You can't land on the moon
He goes
I was a little higher than...
They were weightless for a short amount of time.
We had to dodge some Delta traffic.
That is...
You pay
$20 billion just to
one minute up there, you're like, we got
close. You're like, I want to go.
Wake me up when we're going.
When are you in it?
You're out of here
you're in space i don't think there's any flights that go over antarctica either there's not yeah
well just because there's no point to it well like you know it seems like you would if you
want to go from australia to south america you just skip right over antarctica yeah but they
don't do it well they say they're you you have to have a landing pad. Yeah, it's like an hour.
Yeah.
Well, that's not what they say.
They say the reason they won't let you go over
is because you've got to have a landing strip
somewhere within a certain amount of miles
and they say that doesn't cover it.
Let's go ahead and make one.
Yeah.
What do you think is going on in Antarctica?
I can't say.
But yeah.
You're saying,
so let's just throw up a little landing strip there in the middle of Antarctica.
That way we can fly over it.
Yeah.
I think you'd also lose radio signal there.
Let's build a little something down there.
Why don't we have like an Antarctic resort right in the middle?
Yeah, why would we just, instead of the moon, just be like, let's go figure out Antarctica.
Yeah.
Let's figure out us first
maybe this is the new world they go like hey fix yourself before you fix everybody yeah look in the
mirror buddy yeah look in the mirror yeah yeah now they say the reason they don't just average
tourists coming out is for pollution reasons they don't want to pollute the land the animals the
wildlife so they just let a select group of scientists come is it not like just ice and snow up there
it is so there's not a lot well some people think there's a lot more going on there they think some
people think antarctica is a lot bigger than what's on that map there was this guy named
admiral bird or something and he had a thing where he said he flew and found a lot of land
in antarctica like not not with snow on it yeah he said like a land the size of north america down there
oh interesting yeah so all right there's a lot going on i think we should go let's go check it
out i think we should go we're doing a live podcast from there yeah uh hello yeah hey
a couple polar bears uh nick ventura i just need to let you know that
aaron is probably my favorite member from the podcast all right but this episode may have
changed that oh no he said moneyball is the greatest baseball movie of all time has he seen
the sandlot or major league i have i have seen those Sandlot may be the most important movie of my childhood in a lot of ways,
but it doesn't really hold up.
If you watch it as an adult, you're like, this is fun.
But it is a movie for children.
Why was it the most important movie?
It was just the biggest movie.
I watched it all the time.
It was quoted very frequently.
I played baseball growing up.
It's all we talked about was that movie.
You're killing me, Smalls. You're killing me, Smalls.
You're killing me, Smalls.
I ate a lot of s'mores.
Yeah.
So it was big for me.
But Moneyball's an adult movie, and I'm an adult now.
Okay.
Put away childish things.
Wow.
That was a shock.
Really bringing it home, huh?
You seen the battered bastards of baseball?
Yeah, I need to check that out.
Major League is great, though, too.
Major League's fun.
Yeah, Major League is fun.
We're going to battle Nick and Aaron, I think.
When I had short hair and no beard, people would call me Squints.
Oh, yeah?
From that movie.
You used to have thicker black frame glasses, right?
Yeah.
It was a whole change.
Oh, like when you were older.
Yeah.
They still called you Squints.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
They said I looked like Squints when he grew up. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Except I looked like squints when he grew up.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I could see that.
And then I was into, yeah.
All right.
All right.
All right.
So this, so since we, we're going to talk about candy.
Since I don't think we, you know, we talked about a lot of bear stuff.
A lot of bear stuff.
I like the bear stuff.
I did too.
I could listen to you talk about how to get away from bears all day.
It's pretty fun.
Yeah.
I mean, I was really picking up some tips.
Yeah.
It's how you should be doing it.
Yeah.
I think we're on to something.
But we didn't.
So we were supposed to talk about candy.
We didn't talk a ton about candy.
Bates wasn't here to keep it back on track.
So now we have more candy.
More candy.
I had some candy this weekend.
This week was not good for the diet.
It was bad.
What causes that to happen?
Do you just decide going in, this weekend's kind of a wash?
It was, you know, it was like Harper's birthday,
so we went out to eat with Harper.
You and Justin running around. This weekend's kind of a wash. It was, you know, it was like Harper's birthday, so we went out to eat with Harper. And then.
You and Justin running around.
And me and, yeah.
We didn't eat bad then.
But it was, Harper's was, we go eat.
I think I had prime rib.
I was like, just start.
Like, it is sometimes when you're going down.
Because I got down to 166 this weekend.
That's crazy.
And then I'm 169 right now.
Which I'm kind of getting stuck right in this window and it's because i haven't been great on my calorie intake uh and it's
because i've been at home but it's like you just start like you know as some of it is like you know
what it's just i feel like i needed a break like it's like it's been so much of doing it and then you're like it was her birthday and uh so i had like prime rib then that night that the cousins all spent the
night and so then they had pizza and i'm like i'm just i'm like i felt very hungry and felt you just
like kind of tired of it so i ate pizza that night i thought all right i'll do good tomorrow
and the next day was that we had our we celebrated her birthday on the 9th and then it was like then
the weekend just ended up out of pieces of cake and then uh you know then we go to my i do some
with my brother and we go golf and hang out and then so i then you're just like the weekend was
like it's a special occasion can throw it off yeah and it and that that's hard to uh especially
because we're trying like it wouldn't be bad.
Once I can get down to where I want to get down, then you can have a little more leeway.
But the good thing is mentally you do know, I feel like you can kind of feel it.
You're like, well, I messed up.
And I don't want, I want to go back to like my energy has been really good.
And when I was eating good, that's the craziest part is the energy is how much energy
you have that's that's the best part i think and so then now it's like all right let's and like
today is like i'm gonna go back you know i'm going back in 1500 calories that's what we're down to
right now which is low but we're trying to lose i'm trying to lose weight for the special yeah
oh you started 1800 now you're down to 1500 yeah we just went down to 15
and then so is it going to get lower than this or is this as low no low it could stay at 18 too if
i was uh exercising it's hard to burn calories and i've been walking when i golf but even that
is like 600 calories it's like not as crazy as you think but it's still 600 which is a lot uh
but you know i mean i can't you know it's like i can't play every day or walk
every day uh so but it's like i stay at 1500 it's like if i could stay that for a little bit let's
see when's the last time you've been in the 160s i don't know i wouldn't even know high school i
be probably i don't think i never weighed myself thin that i remember But yeah, it'd be. Yeah, 160s is low.
Yeah.
Like I've been 160, like when I quit drinking,
I went from like 220 all the way down to like the 160s.
And yeah, but I was.
Yeah, I was drinking all the time.
How'd you get there?
Eating all the time. Yeah.
And doing nothing, you know.
I would, yeah, I was really bloated looking.
Yeah, 220.
I know, that was. You really weighed 220? That was the heaviest I got. I don yeah, I was really bloated looking. Yeah, 220. I know, that was-
You really weighed 220?
That was the heaviest I got.
I don't think I was there long.
Yeah.
But, because then I quit drinking, I started biking every day.
Yeah.
There's probably a big picture out there somewhere.
Yeah.
But hopefully it's tucked away.
Hopefully it's hidden.
Yeah, 220 is Dusty Slave Fatty.
Oh, good.
They seem tucked away.
I met...
I'm sure there's one out there.
It's funny.
Other comics picture comes up.
I met some of Dusty's friends from Opelika
when I was with Dusty and Huntsville.
And I've always felt like
you're a goodwill hunting situation
in the sense that you worked at a water company
and then you went on to this greatness.
I mean, I feel like we have two of them.
Just hearing stories about Dusty and growing up in Opelika, the fact that both of you guys
got out is just amazing.
We've done it twice here.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you know, like the-
Well, when you don't hate where you have to go back to, I think that helps.
Yeah.
If I had to go back to a water company, I'd be fine with it.
Like it's.
And Matt Damon was like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't want to sell pesticides again,
but I would do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You already have,
you already have all the stuff that comes with it.
Yeah.
And I'd be,
I'd be better.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was very excited to hang with Dusty and Huntsville.
You guys are like my church group friends that my parents wanted me to hang out with.
Dusty's like the guy across the tracks, the cool kid that my parents did not want me to hang out with.
I was very excited.
So for his 40th birthday, I said, I'm going to buy some cigars because he loves smoking cigars on the show.
And I asked him what kind he liked.
He texted to me.
I was all excited.
I went to the cigar store, bought them, and took them down there.
And it was kind of like George with Elaine's boyfriend, who's cool, Tony.
Yeah.
Packed sandwiches.
Yeah.
And then his friend Matt came, and I said, well, I didn't bring cigars for Matt.
Yeah.
He's like, that's okay.
Yeah.
And I've never really smoked a cigar.
I was never going to tell anyone about Brian smoking cigars,
but I'm excited that you're telling people.
We took lawn chairs or camping chairs,
and we sat outside in downtown Huntsville.
And his friends from Opelika.
Outside that hotel?
Yeah.
Like, yeah, that's a cool area to sit.
Yeah.
The one downtown?
Yeah, yeah.
There's like, isn't there a square?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And I didn't know how to light it.
He had to show me how to light it.
I mean, I've seen people go through an entire pack of matches trying to light it, but I had a real lighter.
Yeah.
I mean, it's as easy as it could possibly be.
I struggle lighting it and then just keeping it going.
And then his friends join us and we're all talking.
I didn't even know how to hold it.
I'm watching everyone else trying to hold it like they do.
I mean, he's exhaling or trying to, I mean, he's like.
I mean, I'd never seen anything like it.
Yeah.
And.
How was he holding it?
I mean, you know, he's probably holding it, but he's like.
Like a horn?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like he got up.
Listen, I never was gonna tell anyone
it was so bad I was like I can't even
make fun of Brian I got worried that Dusty
was furious at me because he wouldn't make an eye contact
I'm with his friends and they're all
talking and I'm over there
and he would not make eye contact
I was like I think Dusty is furious at me
I wasn't mad at you but I was
I thought he was just really embarrassed like who is
this guy with us and then finally and for you for your other buddy to be like and so you didn't have
a cigar for me you're like just give you know he's like just give me that why didn't you just
give me that cigar i did oh i mean obviously after your lips were on it no no no i had more
than i just i realized some too i realized, I ain't going to be doing this for... Wait, so we had cigars for everybody?
Yeah, I did have some for my friend, yeah.
Okay.
Because this all started with you telling Matt, I don't have enough cigars.
Yeah.
But, I mean, he got, I don't know, about this much through the cigar.
Yeah, yeah.
And then you took off.
I got about halfway through.
They got a hold of me.
And then it was... Can't wait now.
That's what I was like with George.
It was very hot out there.
And about after a while, I'm like, I'm starting to feel a little sick.
And I thought, I want to bow out of here without making it obvious because everyone's sitting
around talking.
And his buddy, Matt, I guess watched the podcast.
He's like, man, those squirrels are really becoming a problem with you, aren't they?
And I was like, you know what?
I got to go. Yeah. And I just tried to bow out. a problem with you aren't they and I was like You know what I gotta go
And I just tried to bow out and I went back to my
Room and just passed out on the bed
Yeah
You try to
Like it's funny to go through all that and you're like
Let me try to leave gracefully
And it's like you could just go
This is not working for me
I think everyone knew it
It was funny because you were like, drive safe to my friend.
You were like.
You could just hear me coughing for a while as I walk away.
How long did y'all talk about him when you left?
A little bit.
Yeah.
A little while.
A little bit.
Yeah.
But I was not going to tell people about that because I was like, it was a struggle.
Yeah.
It's all right. I learned. Kids, if you're at home, it was a struggle. Yeah. It's all right.
I learned.
Kids, if you're at home, don't do drugs.
Well, I just felt like, hey, Brian's just a good person, and he never smokes things,
and that's very good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not a bad thing.
Yeah.
All right.
It's candy.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Comments again.
Oh, what?
30 minutes of cigar talk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you guys, can you guess what the top selling candy is in America?
There's two that are by far the top, and they kind of go back and forth.
Snickers?
No, they're four.
Of all time or current?
I guess current.
Sour Patch Kids?
What would you think all time would be?
Gummy Bears.
Oh, Hershey's.
Hershey's. I'm guessing a Hershey's chocolate bar Gummy Bears. Oh, Hershey's. Hershey's Bar.
I'm guessing a Hershey's Chocolate Bar.
Number three.
Oh, number three.
Hershey Kisses?
Just Hershey Bar.
Wow.
Number three.
Tootsie Roll.
Nope, not on there.
Werther's Original.
No.
What's number two?
Jolly Ranchers.
And these go back and forth.
Number two, Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.
Okay.
M&M's.
Yeah.
M&M's.
Number one.
M&M's. Oh, yeah. They have a huge store. M&M's is good. Yeah. forth number two reese's peanut butter cup okay m&ms yeah number one number one m&ms oh yeah they
have a huge store m&ms good yeah it's just a solid they're they start adding colors and you're like
this is all fun even somehow they do many m&ms and it's like it's somehow it's like the exact
same thing and you're like this is better somehow i don't like them and you like you're not like
them i like the minis yeah i don't like them? I like the minis. Yeah. I don't like it in principle.
Well, they're already small, and then they're going smaller again.
Yeah.
They're like ibuprofen.
They're like pills.
Am I supposed to just swallow these whole?
Yeah.
No, you got to put a bunch of them in.
They got to go in your mouth like a wave.
Yeah.
It's in the little plastic tube.
I think it's just, yeah.
But I think it'd be better to carry the –
it looks cooler to carry just the sack of M&Ms, the bag.
Like a clear bag?
No, no, like the bag that comes in.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You know, if you carry the tube of many M&Ms, it's kind of like –
It's a tough look, yeah.
Yeah, that's not good.
What about peanut M&Ms?
I'm a big fan of those.
I'm not a fan of people – I mean, I eat them, but I'm not against it. You know, I's not good. What about peanut M&Ms? I'm a big fan of those. I'm not a fan of people.
I mean, I eat them, but I'm not against it.
I'm not crazy.
I'm not a fan.
I'll eat them.
If there's two bowls and you leave me alone in a room,
I'm going to eat all the M&Ms.
Really?
Yeah.
That's interesting. I would bet all the money I have that the overwhelming majority of people
would pick the peanut M&Ms.
Really?
Yeah.
They're bigger.
You feel like you're getting – sorry, my Google search history just pulled up.
It's just dusty slave fat, dusty slave fatty.
Sorry, that distracted me.
But I feel like a peanut M&M, you feel like you're getting more.
Oh, yeah.
It feels more –
It's like the Snickers bar of M&Ms. There's substance to it. i don't want a meal man i just want to do it
yeah i would go in but i mean m&ms are they're fun they are yeah it's all a good time yeah
so if you go by if you go to movies you're buying the peanut no i'm saying i think most people would
yeah you wouldn't know no i'm just straight popcorn at the movie theater.
But if I had to pick one, I'd pick the peanut M&M's. Okay, that was the whole question I was asking.
No, steak dinner?
I'm going to have steak.
But if we're not at a steak dinner, not a nice place, no bread, peanut M&M's.
Yeah, I like that you think that most people would do it but not you
no i'm just saying that it said i think it's a little more rare than nate presented it nate
presented it as if i thought it'd be very it's the number one seller m&ms yeah right aren't peanut
m&ms a little more expensive oh i don't know oh yeah that's why it seems like it costs more to
make i think that there we go that factors in Oh, yeah. That's why. Seems like it'd cost more to make. There we go.
That factors in.
A little bit.
Yeah, that's why you do like them.
Yeah.
Because y'all were able to afford them.
And they're here, and here we go.
And that's where it all comes in.
Big money.
Yeah.
Special forks for those.
Yeah.
You walk in, it's just all yellow bags.
So then you go to someone's house and they don't have soda or Coke.
Like when you're like, you have any Cokes? cokes and they're like no that makes me so angry you go to someone's house and they
don't have cokes like diet coke or any like yeah and you're like where you got a drink i've got
water and like some hand squeeze juice they have no like soda and i'm just like what is the point
i brought soda this weekend somewhere because i just don't want to be unprepared.
I don't want to run the risk.
I feel like I'm going somewhere that either it's nice or if I'm going to someone's house,
and you can feel the person out, then you're like, they're not going to have soda.
I'm going to just bring-
You think I have sodas in my fridge?
I think you would.
Yeah.
Yeah. You do? I have a whole separate fridge. Yeah, yeah. Wow. I have sodas in my fridge? I think you would. Yeah. Yeah.
You do?
I have a whole separate fridge.
Yeah.
Wow.
I have a downstairs fridge.
But even if you did, I think, would you have, do you have sodas?
I have some Sam's Cokes at the house.
You would be like, that would throw me through a loop.
Because it is soda.
Yeah.
It is.
But you'd rather buy the Sam's one?
Well, someone sent it to me.
Yeah.
Do you not drink soda?
Not really.
Okay.
I like a ginger ale.
Yeah, if someone doesn't drink it, you have, yeah.
But you have diet, right?
I have diet.
I have you covered.
I'm going to.
But do you have regular?
No.
We've had some regular before.
We have all diet.
Yeah, so I don't like the diets.
And then, so we could have some regular.
We could have a couple cans here and there, but it's like in case someone's like, I want regular Coke.
Do you drink a lot of Coke or you just have it around?
No, I drink a lot of it.
But it's like if I go somewhere and I don't think you're going to have it, then I'm going to bring my own.
Yeah. And what do you bring I'm going to bring my own. Yeah.
And what do you bring, Pepsi?
I bring my diet.
I mean, if I want to do that, I'm bringing my own.
I'm bringing, you know, everybody's got water.
I got a diet Pepsi bottle.
I just makes me, when someone, when you go somewhere and they're like,
they don't have it, you're like, I got to eat.
They're going to have pizza.
And then you're like, and water?
Pizza and water.
Pizza and water?
Do you like sweet tea?
Yeah.
Sweet tea I'd be fine with, but I still would drink soda over sweet tea.
But sweet tea, if you do it, you're like, you're meeting me halfway.
Right.
You're at least acknowledging there's other drinks.
Someone's got some sugar with it.
Yeah, something that's like, we're not being lunatics here and you know,
you understand that we live in a society.
What if you were offered kombucha?
I don't even know what that is.
It's like a,
um,
uh,
it's like a,
a gut drink,
but it's,
um,
it's got,
uh,
it's fermented.
Yeah.
So it's got,
um,
the suds,
whatever you call that,
like carbonation. Oh, somewhat. No, I it's got the suds, whatever you call that. Like carbonation.
Somewhat.
No.
If I go to eat,
if I hang out with people in LA
and I go to their house,
it's a major problem.
I know they're not going to have...
I know...
I don't even...
It's in my plans to just go ahead and stop and bring my own soda.
I used to drink Coke.
I did it at Roy Scovel's house.
We had pancakes at his house one day, and I brought, I went over there, and this was a long time ago,
and I brought my own soda over, because I just knew you're not going to have, I mean, and maybe I'm the one that's in the wrong.
I understand, like, you know, I don't want just orange juice.
I want my, but it's like you can just tell.
L.A., guaranteed, anybody's house you're going to, you ain't getting soaked.
Like, they're not going to have any of that stuff.
Yeah, I used to just drink so much Coke as a kid that I don't know.
I just feel like I'm like, I can't do it now.
I mean, I like to have one, but I like it to be rare enough to when I have it, I'm like, I can't do it now. I mean, I'd like to have one,
but I like it to be rare enough
to when I have it,
I'm like, oh, that's good.
Yeah, that's good.
Well, that's probably the relationship
you should have with someone.
Yeah.
But I mean, we used to keep Cokes
under my mom's bed, room temperature.
All summer, I would just go get them out of there
and just drink them room temp.
Do you call everything a Coke too?
Oh, yeah.
Everything's a Coke
and then you go from there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We would do that too.
I've stopped doing it now just because of my act.
Cause I don't think enough people do that.
So it's like,
if I talk about Coke,
now I say soda just cause it's like,
I'm just not trying to add more to a confused,
when the joke's not about that.
But yeah,
it was always like you have Cokes and you go,
yeah.
Then you go,
all right,
what kind of Sprite,
Dr. Pepper, you know, Coke, like, you know, like you have Cokes and you go, yeah. Then you go, all right, what kind? I have Sprite. I have Dr. Pepper.
I have Coke.
You would just say that.
I was going to say the ballpark near my house where I played Dixie Youth
growing up, they used to have this policy.
Whenever a foul ball would be hit over the fence,
the announcer would come on and go,
please return that ball from the concession stand for a free Coke.
Yeah, we did that too.
Yeah, and I used to be in it, I mean, a couple other guys,
we just – full-time job just out there shagging foul balls.
Yeah.
Just racking up those Cokes, dude.
Got a suicide.
Oh, I can see that now, though.
I can see kids now fighting over a ball for a Coke.
Oh, yeah.
It's the best.
I could walk away with five or six a night just shagging those balls for people.
Just sitting there. Your family, where they have it, is it on the exercise room again? What? I could walk with five or six a night just shagging those balls for people, man.
Just sitting there.
Your family, do they have his only exercise you're doing?
What?
Is your parents happy?
Well, he's at least running.
Yeah, exactly.
They're like, he's drinking a lot of Coke, but he is running.
It's like a win-win.
They're like, I feel like we're breaking even at least.
It's either he's going to sit here and eat peanut M&Ms and drink soda and sit or he's at least gonna have to go work for it it's like it's like the you're like the
uh the old man the old days hunter but you're like the new version of it that you're like
well we had to go get i wasn't my parents didn't buy me cokes i had to go earn the
fine foul ball i had to go find foul ball you'd be so jacked up at the end of the night, too, I bet.
Oh, yeah, I did.
We used to get, after the games, they'd bring out,
and everyone got a free coke, all the kids.
Oh, yeah.
I don't think they do that anymore.
You would get the suicide.
I bet they do in places that are fun, but most of the world is unfun.
Yeah.
And you go, but I would imagine regular, you're still,
because there's times you go
and you think everything's this like uh it's not like politically correct but it's like this
we're like we're not doing we're not giving sodas we're not doing all this stuff and then you
you go to places you're like no people are still doing that everybody like you know i don't think
i i think so yeah i mean i stuff has gotten way more health conscious.
But it's like, I can tell when I, when someone comes over,
I can see it.
I take, you know, because it's for us.
It's like, I'm going to give the kids McDonald's.
And like, I'll just tell someone's, you know, are you fine with that?
And I try to gauge it.
You know, sometimes the parent is like, I mean,
yeah, she doesn't ever get it.
And then, you know, but then I'm like, she gets it enough that it's not that big.
Yeah, it's Tuesday.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What are the kids that don't get it?
Are they like, this is great?
Oh, they love it.
Yeah.
They love it.
Yeah.
You've hooked to be a child.
Yeah, they try to get, well, but it's because I think their I think their family cooks a ton.
Right.
Which Laura cooked, but it's like when I've got them,
it's like obviously we're not cooking.
And so it's going to be – we're going to go down another road.
We used to eat fast food every day.
That's how I grew up like that.
It was just like the hecticness.
My mom cooked, but the hecticness of it sometimes,
everybody's so busy, it's like, yeah, you're just having to go eat fast food.
So, I mean, I just still, that's why I have trouble eating
because it's even with the calorie thing, I have trouble.
Like I don't still make food at home.
I got to figure out how to do it at fast food places.
Today I'm getting grilled chicken, Chick-fil-A sandwich and salad.
And so it's like that would be i'm trying to stay at 600
calories right and that will be what you know it's like i figure out like ways that's how i have to
eat because i it's like that's how i think to eat that's the healthiest fast food meal i've ever
heard of by the way yeah it might be as healthy as you can get yeah fast food place yeah you got
to find those goats that's the key to lose weight you got to or if your mind works like like a lot of people make food but if your mind works like mine and i don't know how to
not eat out and so i don't know how to like think i don't know like i'm not gonna i don't want to
cook so it's like i just think all right i'm gonna how do i go like what what are my go-tos
that like when i'm like in a panic what can i go get and so you
gotta find like here's this at chick-fil-a i can get this okay chipotle i can have this yeah and
like or something you know you gotta find like little you know a cliff bar like you just things
that you're like if i'm feel like i'm about to because that's when you spire out because you're
starving yeah and then you're like i like, I had McDonald's last night.
That was added on to the whole thing because I go, well, if I'm eating bad, you know, because
then you can see that, like, I could just see myself like, well, this is what happens.
Yeah.
Once you start to eat bad too, you're like, well, I've already done it now.
Let's go.
Yeah.
That's why I never drink again.
Yeah.
Because I feel like if I had one, I'd be like, oh, well, it's gone now.
I've already broke it.
Yeah.
2022 is a wash. Yeah. I'll see broke it. Yeah. 2022 is a wash.
Yeah.
I'll see you again next year.
Back in your 220.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
I would love for you to get back.
Yeah.
Aaron looks like a swimmer.
Yeah.
Like you're over, you know.
Dusty's the new one.
All right.
That'd be great.
We'll get back into candy.
So still on M&Ms.
All right.
That'd be great.
We'll get back into candy.
So still on M&Ms, in the 70s, red food dye in America was, there was a study that said it was linked to cancer.
Yeah.
And so the FDA banned red food dye in the 70s.
And even though it wasn't this type of food coloring in M&Ms, red M&Ms, people got so
upset about it that M&M had to disband the red M&M.
From 1976 until 1987, there were no red M&M's.
Yeah.
But then they finally brought it back in 87.
Oh, they're back now?
They just gave up on the cancer thing?
Well, it wasn't even true.
Oh.
They just, it was a study.
I love all the bad things we eat.
They're like, blame the food dye.
But I hear, I wonder how these.
Just the color red.
How do these things get started?
Who's starting that?
A candy company that doesn't use the color red that's trying to sabotage another company?
No, it's probably, you know, some, I don't know, some scientists.
They're just doing some study and like, it's just.
You think it's just a genuine mistake that gets spread?
Yeah. I mean, it probably just spirals out. Yeah. And then it's like, next thing you know, it's just. You think it's just a genuine mistake that gets spread? Yeah, I mean, it probably just spirals out.
Yeah.
And then it's like, next thing you know, it's like, and they say it,
and then they go, oh, yeah, well, a scientist said it.
No one questions that.
And then you're like, all right, so this scientist said.
You don't have to say the scientist.
You just say science.
Yeah, maybe a scientist was trying to make a little name for himself.
He was like, you know what?
I'm trying to get a little.
I'm the red guy.
Yeah.
And then the green M&M guy is likem guys and you gotta go after something popular because it's like also it's something that people can wrap their head around so they if you're
taking away if you say red dye is bad you're like well i don't really i'm not gonna know what that
means but if you tell me you're taking the red m&m away now i know what that means so it's like
i feel like if you're that specific if you're like we're
taking nerds away then it's like nerds are bad like it doesn't matter what's in it that's bad
it's just the fact that you're they go after the red m&m that seems very weird yeah and so then
that story becomes you know taking the red m&m way oh yeah like that's a very that's a it's an
easy story to tell imagine eating m&m's oh, good thing those reds are gone.
Yeah.
I remember hearing.
It's the exact same taste.
I mean, the color doesn't ever matter.
Right.
Right.
And so it's like, it's just fun.
But it's like, it's also M&M might have just given into it just because they're like, whatever.
Right.
I think that was the case.
People weren't buying M&M's because they were freaking out about it.
Yeah.
M&M's just took it off to no red ones yeah i remember hearing as a kid that there was a
color in mountain dew that made men infertile yellow five yellow five yeah had you heard that
before yeah i think so how did we should talk to the guy that probably is the most experienced i
drank a lot of mountain dew back in the day. Yeah. That's for sure.
I was a mellow yellow guy.
I like mellow yellow too.
Yeah.
I like Kyle Petty.
You were what?
Mountain Dew Surge.
Mountain Dew Surge?
I don't think it was a Mountain Dew product.
I feel like I, yeah, it was.
You remember Surge?
Yeah, but you're young.
And it's funny that it's like, mellow yellow was the big one.
I don't know.
I never had a Surge. I was a fan of Kyle Petty. He drove the NAS would mellow yellow was the big one i don't know i never had a surge i was
a fan of kyle petty he drove the nascar mellow yellow car i used to wear a lot of mellow yellow
shirts i love the name mellow yellow yeah it's a great name it's a great name nothing mellow about
i like mellow yellow but at some point this rumor got spread that there's a chemical in the drink
that is bad for people to drink and i don don't, was that based on anything you think?
Or is this just?
See, that's what I'm thinking.
I think Pepsi starts this.
Yeah.
Tries to get that going.
Yeah.
Well, they do say birth rates are down.
Yeah.
They, in specific mellow yellow area.
Yeah.
I think I had, I think I drank diet mellow yellow.
Sorry. I think I drank Diet Mellow Yellow. Sorry.
I think I drank Diet Mellow Yellow.
And I think it still had, what is it?
Did it?
It was either, I thought it was that or Diet Mellow.
But one of them still had like calories where you're like, well, what's the point?
The point of it was supposed to be zero calories.
Like five or 10 in a bottle.
Yeah.
And you're like, you're like, they're like, we're doing the best we can.
Yeah.
Mellow Yellow's giving up. They're like, listen. like, we're doing the best we can. Yeah, Melo Yellow's giving up.
They're like, listen.
This is as good as we can do.
I mean, in that five or ten, it's actually like 30.
I'll be honest with you, you got a regular Melo Yellow.
I'm going to cut to the chase here, all right?
You got a regular Melo Yellow.
We just poured out half of this, but water it.
Yeah.
It goes, we can't get it to zero.
I mean, these people are lying to you.
If they came out and said it had calories, diet, drinks,
I would be devastated.
Devastated.
Yeah.
Me too.
Do you know the M&M characters?
I guess they all have their own personalities.
Absolutely M&Ms.
All right, we'll move on.
No, no.
They updated them a few months ago to be more politically correct.
Yeah, right.
I guess one of the, let's see here, the green M&M, she wore go-go boots,
and they got rid of that to make her seem like a more confident woman
and not just a sex symbol.
Well, you know, there was a reason, you know, the green.
What has she got now?
Like she wears an apron or something?
They had a whole thing about the green M&Ms.
It just makes it worse.
What does she do?
She carries two babies on the side?
The mini M&Ms?
Yeah, she has two mini M&Ms.
That's her at the bottom there.
That's the updated one.
Interesting. They left the high heels
On the brown M&M
Yeah
She's a business woman
Yeah
Oh so the green one
Oh she's like
The top one is the old version
Where she's kind of a
Sex symbol
What are these arms and legs
Supposed to be?
I don't know
The orange one
There
They changed him
He had an anxious personality
that he made him look worried oh that was the model yeah but uh they said now his shoelaces
will be tied to represent his cautious his cautious agent orange here yeah this is like
i mean but this is like people that just uh they're trying to just keep their jobs like
there's a point with that
where you're like we are just i don't even i've never even looked at them this i hadn't either
the fact that you're you're watching the drama like it's a show and you're like i don't you know
you're like what about these m&ms though yeah the red m&m had shown bully tendencies in the past
but now he's more kind to his co-characters. He still looks like a bit of a... He's got some sass to him.
Yeah, well, it's like he should have that.
Yeah, he was giving people cancer.
Yeah, that was the least he was doing.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
And that green one's confident now?
Because she has tennis shoes on?
Yep, she's a more confident woman.
She looks pretty confident up here.
Yeah, I'd say she looks more confident. I think she looks more confident at the top. She's wearing Yep. She's a more confident woman. Oh, instead of the big... She looks pretty confident up here. Yeah.
I'd say she looks more confident. I think she looks more confident at the top.
She's wearing boots.
She's different.
They're like, no, but now she's at the bottom and she's mixed in with everybody else.
She has no personality, so she's more confident.
You go, okay.
Yeah, that's all the bottom looks like is they all have no personality.
Yeah, yeah.
You're like, well, now they're all equals and the exact same.
You're like, oh, so they're not fun anymore.
Great.
She represents confidence and empowerment
as a strong female
and not just about her boots.
Yeah, no one even...
This is who my nieces look up to.
They should have just
kept them as M&Ms.
They do.
That's right.
Yeah, she wakes up every day.
She has a poster of them
on the thing.
What does it get?
Yeah.
They really want to make
them more human-like.
Just ought to give them a torso or a separate head.
Well, this is what makes me uncomfortable.
I've never looked at their legs and arms.
What are they supposed to...
We're just supposed to not think about them?
I don't know.
You're the reason why...
You saying this is how you end up tying that guy's shoes.
You're like, the point of it is we should not even be talking this long about it.
I'm saying I haven't until now.
Now I'm looking at it.
And now you're looking at the legs and you're like, what's the point of the legs?
Now I know when I see these commercials come out,
I don't even be looking at everything.
You go look at all the legs and be like, what's, yeah.
They only have four fingers.
None of them have knees.
Maybe she'd be more confident if she had, I don't know, five fingers.
Yeah.
Maybe more attractive legs.
Yeah.
She did at the top.
Yeah, at the top.
Yeah.
She's got like skin tone there.
Yeah.
So someone just goes, so she's not hot anymore?
You're like, what?
Charleston Chew. You guys familiar with Charleston Chew?
I've heard of it
Never had it
Heard of it
Never had it
I don't even know what it looks like
I'm just bringing it up
Because I bought it for you guys
Yeah
Whoa
Where'd you get it at?
I went to a candy store
At Opry Mills
Did you pay a change?
Two and thirty calories
I wish It's not bad for a candy bar of that size right no no and if
it's certain size is one bar which is nice that is nice because it's like you want to go give me
the yeah you don't have to give me the number two it's like yeah that's when you order something
you're like you want the tax total you like give me the whole thing yeah i don't need yeah to be
tricked uh yeah i don't know what this is. Try frozen. Yeah, supposedly better
frozen. All candy, all chocolate's
better frozen. This is vanilla.
Yeah, I think there's different...
Now, what is the Charleston Chew all
about? I even
lived in Charleston for a long time and did not
eat that candy. Well, it's named after
the dance to Charleston.
It has nothing to do with Charleston. What does it look like?
Well, wouldn't you think that dance was named after the city?
Well, I don't know.
I don't know.
Oh, it's like a...
Yeah, I don't know.
It's...
Oh, it's got like vanilla inside of it.
It's like a bite of...
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Oh, no.
That looks like marshmallow.
Yeah.
It does look a little bit like marshmallow.
I don't think...
I don't want to criticize it, but I am not interested. Yeah's that would be a candy that you're like i got some time to kill
yeah i'll take a little piece of that it's very uh this is not a clean
that's why it's probably good frozen yeah yeah i can see yeah because it pulls back
oh it just went all in it It's Mikey over here. Yeah.
It does taste like marshmallow.
Yeah. Yeah.
I don't think I like that.
Some candy that's been discontinued.
O'Henry?
No.
You can see that.
Yeah.
Sue Ellen Mischke is the heiress to O'Henry.
O'Henry.
I can see it.
Well, the name O'Henry.
Well, what can I get into you on?
I'll take an O'Henry.
Yeah.
I think you don't like the name?
I don't think so.
I kind of like it. There's a hole in in my bucket is that something to do with that song oh henry oh henry oh and that's the song uh there's i don't know about that song but you
never heard that yeah i don't like the uh the packaging as much as the name oh henry oh henry
well if you're saying it like that.
Some people think it was. There is an exclamation point.
It was named after Henry Aaron, Pink Aaron.
Oh.
Okay.
Did they not tell yes or no to that?
There's like four different versions of where the name came from.
Yeah.
And Baby Ruth is not supposedly named after Babe Ruth.
Yeah.
Didn't we talk about that?
We did on the President's episode. Now, that's a good candy. It was named after Babe Ruth. Yeah, didn't we talk about that? We did on the President's episodes.
Now, that's a good candy.
It was supposedly after Grover Cleveland's daughter.
But this was in the 1920s when Babe Ruth was at his height,
and he asked to get paid for it.
And they were like, well, it wasn't named after you.
It was named after Grover Cleveland's daughter,
and she had died 15 years earlier.
Was her name Babe Ruth?
Her name was Ruth, and it was Baby Ruth.
Yeah.
Oh.
So a lot of people think that they just said that.
So did they give Grover Cleveland money?
I don't know that he asked for it, but Babe Ruth asked for it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The 100 Grand Bar used to be called the 100,000 Grand Bar.
Underrated.
Opie and Anthony did a promotion giveaway
where they for weeks we're gonna give away a hundred grand and then they finally announced
the winner and gave her a candy bar and she was not happy about it oh i can imagine yeah
it's funny like now when you hear about it yeah that would be yeah very disappointing yeah
that's uh the only candy bar that's mentioned yeah that would be
maybe the most upsetting thing possible yeah you think you're getting a hundred grand and it's a
candy bar and they all laugh at you and it's like that is devastating yeah why would you do that
did they give her anything else i think they just gave her a candy bar. Wow. Wow. That's devastating.
As a poor person, that hurts me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'd be very excited.
The 100 grand bar is the only one mentioned on Seinfeld and The Office.
When George is trying to get the Twix.
Yeah.
They talked about, you're sure it wasn't a 100 grand bar?
And then on The Office, the business school, Michael Scott.
Yeah.
That's one of the ones he threw out, $100,000.
I had a Whatchamacallit this weekend because my buddy Rich,
they said it's his favorite.
And you mentioned last week or two weeks ago the Thingamajig
and the What's a Hoosie.
Michael mentions those on that episode, business school.
That was 2007.
And then 2009 is when Thingamajig came out.
So I assume they made those after him probably yeah i uh what you might call it was it's like a feels like a little rice crispy
ish got a lot going on got a lot going on yeah yeah well i mean it was definitely not bad i don't
see how it's your you know it's his favorite I don't see how it's someone's favorite.
Yeah.
It's a lot going on.
Yeah, it feels like something that somebody buys you.
It seems like when everybody goes, I'm going to go buy some candy.
Y'all want some?
And everybody's like, yeah, just whatever.
And somebody goes, I'll take a whatchamacallit.
You're like, well, now I've got to leave the theater.
So, I mean.
I'll be back in an hour.
He goes, all right, I guess I'll just see the movie tomorrow
as I go on this
journey and try to find
a whatchamacallit
we went to the movies
we saw Minions
and saw
Joe List's 4th of July movie too
how was it? it was good
it was great yeah it's crazy it's crazy to see it
it's just everybody in it's comics
they're your friends it's unreal to go it it's just everybody in its comics are your
friends they're it's unreal to go see a movie and you're like god that's so wild uh but uh i got
they have at the at the theater they had like the candy things that are like only 100 calories
they had like healthy things which i thought was pretty good at the movies movies. Yeah. It's pretty great because they had a little package.
I was like, man, because I would take those.
I've been sneaking in Skinny Pop.
Skinny Pop's good.
Yeah.
I don't know what that is.
It's 80 calories a bag, but it's like popcorn.
So it's like, I'll bring in like that.
And if you could bring in these little gummy things that are like 100 calories.
Oh, I know Skinny Pop.
I'm good to go.
Get a little diet cherry Dr. Pepper.
Oh, that's very good.
I love a cherry Coke at the movies.
Yeah.
That's the best.
You know what I just got from the Dollar General?
Dr. Pepper Zero Blue.
Wow.
Never seen it before.
It's a blue Dr. Pepper Zero. zero wow i think it's like jurassic park
something but man it's it's a wild ride oh yeah yeah does it taste like dr like does it taste
like a blue wow it tastes is it canned blue or is it is the liquid blue cans uh no it just looks
like a regular dr pepper oh so it's like it tastes like regular dr it tastes like a regular Dr. Pepper. Oh, so it tastes like regular Dr. Pepper? It tastes like a regular Dr. Pepper, but a little bit of like a blue, it's called dark berry.
It's got a little blueberry taste.
It's got a little bit of a blueberry twist to it, and I'm a fan.
I haven't had the Dr. Pepper Zero yet.
I look forward to it.
It's good.
It's a little bit thicker, richer than a Diet Dr. Pepper.
Oh, okay.
Have you had the Reese's Peanut Butter cup with the potato chip in it?
No.
Would you like to?
I don't know.
I mean, that seems crazy.
That's a thick cup.
It's a big cup.
When did they do this?
The last few months.
It's a new thing they're doing.
What do these candy companies do when they're like,
listen, come on, get us.
Is this the craziest one?
I think they have one with pretzel also.
Yeah, this seems, why Reese's with potato chips?
They're like, listen, we got all these chips laying around.
What's the potato chips?
I wonder what the potato chips, I don't know.
It looks like a Lay's.
Yeah.
It was an accident at the factory.
Yeah.
Yeah, it seems like this could be good though.
I like the way it's on a sandwich.
I'm sure it is.
You know.
You try the other one, Aaron.
I'll just break off a piece
because I don't want to eat the whole thing.
That's a thick candy.
Make sure you get some chips.
It's going to be hard to break it off.
These all melted up.
You can hear the chip.
Let's try a little bit here.
You want any of this, Brian?
No.
I thought the listener might want to hear the crunch.
You know what I mean?
It just seems unnecessary to me.
Just three guys sitting around chewing gum.
It tastes like what you would think.
Yeah, that seems unnecessary to me.
Not a lot of surprises.
Too hard.
The chip's too hard.
What's the point of a chip?
It's fine.
I could see how this would become a problem, though.
Like, you would just be – I could definitely see how this would spiral out of control.
Like, you would be like, I don't know, it's fine.
And then you would be like, the next thing you know, you've eaten ten of them.
I think chewing into the microphone is what people are looking for.
People were really dying for a candy episode.
They were like, so I think they want to hear some crunch.
Yeah, it seems, I'm not against it.
I'm not against it, but it's exactly what you think.
But you could also, if you're if you're like i don't spend the
money didn't buy a bag of chips and reese's and didn't eat them together just put a chip on top
of it maybe that's why this got started because it let enough people did that because they wanted
a little because they wanted a little crunch with them you said reese's was doing some bold things
they are doing some bold things and i think it's paying off a third of the candy aisle is reese's stuff
now yeah i want to think that you gotta you do the peanut butter then you do the chip and then
chocolate right over it i feel like this is crumpled up chip in there it is crumpled up
yeah but that's not misleading because that's how it's depicted on the packaging yeah i'm just
saying i think they should that's how they should I'm just saying you're disappointed for no reason.
I don't know.
I mean, I feel very cheated.
Yeah.
Have you seen, you know, some people pour M&Ms in their popcorn at the movies?
I've seen people do that. I don't know.
I think I've tried.
I don't like that.
I haven't done that mix.
Hot tamales, too?
People like to do that with popcorn.
I don't do that with popcorn.
And popcorn, I think, I'm happy on its own.
You're making a trail mix at a certain point.
Yeah.
I want it to be consistent.
Yeah.
Trail mix, they use real M&Ms in the trail mix?
I don't know if they're M&M brand, but they're supposed to be.
Yeah.
Wow.
M&M, you think, has no one to do it?
I did have some trail mix with the M on the M&M.
Oh, you have?
Yeah, just recently.
But was it homemade or was it?
No, no, it was in a jar.
Yeah.
Like a bought jar.
Printed it.
It still sounds like homemade.
I'll stop you when I don't think it sounds homemade.
Keep going.
It was a bought jar that you had to open and then there was plastic around it that popped.
He's like, no, no, there's no label to it.
Yeah.
I don't know. My wife brought it home. For all I like, no, no, there's no label to it. Yeah, yeah.
I don't know. My wife brought it home.
For all I know, she made it in the car.
Sounds very homemade to me.
You guys ever wonder what Eminem stood for?
Never even thought about it. Mike and Molly.
Milk and Magnesia. No.
Mars and Murray, the two
guys who started it. Of course, Mars
company still exists. Murray, I don't know what it. Of course, Mars company still exists.
Murray, I don't know what happened to him.
They pushed Murray right out.
They probably got Murray out.
Murray brought in the red food dye.
You guys big into suckers or lollipops?
I'm big into them, man.
I love them.
I'm all about them, man. I like them. I'm all about them, man.
I like a sucker.
What's your favorite?
That's a funny way to word it.
I mean, it comes to mind.
I like Tootsie Roll a lot.
Tootsie Pop.
I've been on some Tootsie Roll.
I like Blow Pop.
What is Blow Pop?
Blow Pop is great.
Oh, yeah.
I think Blow Pop's great.
Tootsie Pop is, yeah, solid.
I think Tootsie Pop's where it's at.
I don't like chocolate.
I like the fruity ones. How how many licks does it take?
Brian, do you have the answer?
Oh, I had it two weeks ago.
Three, according to the owl.
It was like 400 and something, right?
Oh.
Mm-hmm.
Did you not?
Did we talk about that on the podcast?
No, but I had it on the notes from two weeks ago.
Some students did a, like at a college, did a test where they had a lick machine.
College really paying off. Yeah, there you go. It costs, you at a college, did a test where they had a lick machine.
College really paying off.
Yeah, there you go.
And.
It cost, you're in debt, 400 grand for the rest of your life. It was something like 400 and something licks.
From Notre Dame.
Can you Google it?
Yeah.
It was like Purdue or something.
I think it was where your brother went.
Oh, yeah.
And I may be wrong, but they did the test and.
That's a weird Google.
They built a machine.
364, an average of 364 licks.
All right.
Well, several universities did this.
This is one of the bigger questions.
Yeah.
One, two, four universities did it.
Mm-hmm.
Michigan did it.
And a junior high school.
There you go.
Can you imagine you're still paying off your student debt,
and you're like, well, who else did it?
Some junior high school for free.
Swarthmore Junior High School.
How many licks did they determine?
144.
Well, they used human liquors.
They used just the kids.
They just put the kids to work.
144 licks. Oh, so the university, they didn't use human liquors? Well used just the kids. They just put the kids to work. 144 licks.
Oh, so the university, they didn't use human liquors?
Well, that was the whole point.
These universities built machines.
A licking machine.
That were modeled after a human tongue.
I mean, so, and that's so ridiculous.
What's ridiculous about it?
Well, because, so the kids do the real thing, and it's less than half.
Yeah.
That's right and so like then the
the other ones are just like crazy uh the numbers are really high right well the machine could
probably standardize the lick in a way where it's consistent where i don't trust these kids i mean i
bet they're coming in hard one lick but that's who's eating it but that's who's yeah it's but
that's not the question the question is how many licks but how but who's licking it human just a standard human being average lick
a standard human being lick i trust the machine more than i trust a bunch of junior high schools
well of course i would say that too if i given people this money that you gave notre dame
and so yes yeah i would defend it hard, you know, to be like,
no, this is why. But if you,
but if my
sixth grader, seventh
grader comes home and says, we did it
and had an awesome day
because we got a lick. I mean,
that's the most fun a kid could have.
It's a good day. I don't trust a
licking machine.
Isn't Harper about to go to junior high?
I mean, close.
She's getting close.
She could be competing against a Purdue graduate student.
The fact that they built a machine is, do you know, like, what is going on?
There could be other applications for this technology.
That's the point of it.
What would the other applications be?
Applications for this technology.
That's the point of it. What would the other applications be?
I don't know if you need to learn how medicine is affected by licks.
But apparently, you know, people are licking medicine out here.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
You're out of ideas in college.
That's what I think.
I got another one.
You're out of ideas.
You talk like I help do this.
Well, you're a part of it.
You're out.
You have nothing to do.
You're just building helped do this. Well, you're a part of it. You're out. You have nothing to do. I'm part of them.
You're just building licking machines.
And some guy, and then he goes, what are we doing, dude?
Like, we're. Yeah.
She's trying to be an accountant.
And you're.
Here's another one.
A group of scientists at MIT wanted to figure out if they could invent a machine that could
open an Oreo where it evenly distributed
each side of the cream.
And so they created an Oreo meter,
a device designed to split the Oreo cookie
with a specific amount of force
where it would open it evenly
on each side.
They couldn't do it.
The machine failed.
How's that cancer research coming?
Yeah.
That's what I was going to say.
How's that? I get you want to have fun. I get that cancer research coming? Yeah. That's what I was going to say. How's that?
I get you want to have fun.
I get that there's some fun things.
I get that you're great.
Like, everything can't be super serious.
I understand that.
Again, that could be a junior high fun thing, though.
It should be a regular school, like, growing up fun thing.
I don't know if it should be.
When we're trying to prepare you for the world
and you're like, you know,
you spent two months trying to make a machine
that evenly...
She said the scientists...
I think you would have more odds of doing it.
Maybe you get lucky and do it on your own.
Yeah.
How successful were they with this?
They couldn't do it.
The lead scientist said the results validated while I was a child.
We found no trick for opening up an Oreo.
So really a lot of confidence in MIT then.
Yeah.
That was MIT?
Yeah.
That's the cream of the crop.
Those are the best of the best.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
An Oreometer, it was called.
That's a fun name.
Yeah.
That was terrible.
All right, you do it then with the other one. i'm good i'll just eat it i'll try to open it you might as well
you know let's see yeah yeah that's about it yeah you guys didn't twist it at all though i feel like
you should twist it twist a little bit well i think it's the fact that it's like it's whatever
the white stuff is is probably not you know it's like drywall yeah like it's it's the fact that it's like, whatever the white stuff is, it's probably not,
you know, it's like drywall.
Yeah.
Like, it's not going to come, like, it's like anything.
It's not going to come off evenly because it's,
you could probably make it come off evenly when it's first made.
But it's like, once it's, and it's been in a container forever.
I don't know if I understand the benefit of pulling it off equally.
To waste money of the parents and the kids.
That's the benefit of it.
Because once you do it, you're like,
I don't think, it's been in a package for too long.
So it's just, it's too stuck together
that you could never, you'd have to cut it with a knife.
Yeah, a paint scraper, You could get right in there.
I would almost just,
no one said that before they started this.
A paint scraper?
Well, they go,
I think you'd have to cut it
because it's just too packed
so it's never going to do it.
Like an exacto knife.
No, let's do a,
let's build a machine for it.
Oreo issued a statement saying,
we want to extend a huge congratulations
to these brilliant minds
and applaud their dedication
to our cookie twistingtwisting ritual.
There you go.
Wow.
Congrats.
Imagine going home and your parents are paying for MIT and your dad's like, well, what have you learned?
Well, we just built a machine to try to open Oreo cookies.
It's an Oreometer.
Yeah.
Get it right, Dusty.
What does it do?
Does it teach them how to do, I guess, other stuff later? I think the machine. Oh, there it is right there. Yeah does it teach them how to do i guess other stuff later i think the
machine oh there it is right there yeah it was it was 3d printed so they had somebody had to
design this i tell you what that's something i don't understand at all 3d printing i don't even
i can't wrap my head around what it is what about it i picture a printing machine yeah and then it
prints out like a real stuff a real thing i don't it doesn't make
sense it is crazy yeah it's very crazy is it what like you could make this cup yeah you make and it
would be a real cup so the machine has all the stuff in it to make a cup it's it's a little like
wand or a needle with that type that plastic material and then it just draws it out based
on the blueprint you give it yeah but so to make something you have to have the type of that plastic material and then it just draws it out based on the blueprint you give it. Yeah.
But so to make something, you have to have the materials of that thing.
Yeah.
That's what comes out of the,
yeah.
The end of it.
Yeah.
That's the ink essentially.
Yeah.
That plastic material that will make this bowl.
Yeah.
You make a bowl wood.
You can make wood.
Well,
not wood.
Okay.
No,
it wouldn't be wood.
So you can't make this bowl. You can make the shape of this bowl, but it wouldn't be made out of wood. wood. Okay. No, it wouldn't be wood. So you can't make this bowl? You can make
the shape of this bowl, but it wouldn't be
made out of wood, no. Okay.
I mean, I said to make
the bowl, and you said yeah.
Alright.
I wasn't sure what you meant. Could it be
a wood grain effect? Could you make this
table? Wow.
That's a very deep question. Yeah.
Could you make like a kidney?
Oh, that's, well, ultimately, they hope you are going to be able to make stuff like that you can make um like devices for your
heart and stuff out of a 3d you can 3d print those and so people just standing at like in an office
and they're just like i want a sandwich like this is the future yeah and they're
gonna be like i'll take a burger and then they type it and it 3d prints a burger yeah and then
you just go eat you eat the paper and it tastes like a burger that's the future that's the future
i hope that's the future i want to live in is Is the burger hot? I think it's hot when it's done, when it prints.
Yeah, I think it is hot because it's that plastic.
You got to eat it quick.
Are people making stuff and you can buy a 3D printed thing?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For sure.
It's made of plastic?
Yeah.
Stuff to print out?
Yeah.
So it'd be hard to eat a burger.
Yeah, it'd be hard to eat it.
If you got it quick when it was still hot.
Yeah.
What do you think of this?
My old roommate had this idea. He used to always to eat it. If you got it quick when it was still hot. Yeah. What do you think of this? My old roommate had this idea.
He used to always talk about it.
You'd repurpose an old small fridge to a sandwich-making machine
where you'd have different types of meat, bread,
and then it would just come out at the bottom.
You think there's any?
I think that's...
So it's got to place it on its own.
Yeah.
You just push the buttons for what you want
and it would like a vending machine like a vending machine for a sandwich yeah
uh i mean that i i i think it'd be quicker to make the sandwich i think it would like i mean
i could see like i think your setup would be just set up the stuff you would want like all the options
and you open the refrigerator make any sandwich you want and then that would be
funner like it'd be you'd be like lay your bread down open that and then you're like oh there's
any meats and you're like i like that that like it's subway what if you did i see your friends
a vending machine where one step away from going like let's create a subway you know
vending machine with one piece of bread on the top.
So you select what you want, then it drops the first piece.
And then as it goes down, then the meat falls.
Then it goes down to the next condiment.
Doesn't that sound fun?
Other piece of bread, pops it out.
I like this idea.
That sounds fun.
I was not for it in the beginning.
And now you're back.
I am into it now.
It's, yeah.
I mean, it's not, I mean, I not i mean i don't know i just think yeah
it would be a lot of work just to be like we could also go to subway that's you're right he
said it was mostly be for busy moms with lots of kids where you need to make them in mass quickly
yeah now that's a that's an angle that is better that you're telling me that's the angle he should go with.
I need to pump out nine sandwiches in a minute.
Yeah, that's the angle that you should go with.
Well, how many kids do you have that one of them is not old enough to just help with the sandwiches?
You'd be surprised.
When you can eat sandwiches, you're basically old enough to make sandwiches.
Yeah.
That's a good point.
I mean, the window's very small.
Harper could make her own sandwich now.
Right.
Hmm.
How long should she be eating sandwiches?
You've got a tiny window where you're all hands on deck.
Yeah.
But I think a lot of moms are still making their lunches
for all their elementary school kids.
I agree.
I can understand the logic of it and like doing it but i think you're you
know yeah i think if you just lay i mean i've not done this for nine kids but i think if you just
lay out the bread and then go through with the meat then go through with the condiments then it's
probably i'm not saying it's not hard you bring it a system yeah yeah yeah it's very annoying i
mean that's the stuff that's like like a mom has to do the same kind of thing.
He hasn't been able to get funding for this yet.
I'm not saying it's a slam dunk.
Should contact MIT.
Yeah, they got some time.
Potentially Purdue.
Licking lollipops.
All right, I'm back to those lollipops.
Number one selling lollipop?
Tootsie Pop.
A dumb, dumb.
The red one.
It might be red.
Ring Pop.
Oh, I thought you meant
like the Tootsie Roll,
like which color.
Ring Pop is the number one seller?
This is on Amazon,
so I don't know
if that's accurate.
Mm-hmm.
I got it.
Mm-hmm.
All right.
So,
I thought... I used to get into a Ring Pop, though. I forgot all about them. All right. Sorry. I thought...
I used to get into a Ring Pop, though.
I forgot all about them.
Yeah.
Yeah, what are you...
I haven't even heard of these other candies.
I haven't either.
You've heard of a Push Pop before, right?
I don't know.
Barely.
Yeah, you got Rock Candy.
I don't know if I trust this.
Is that the one I sent you?
Yeah, that's the one you sent me.
I would think Dum Dums.
I've never heard of Yummers. I don't know what that is this. Is that the one I sent you? Yeah, that's the one you sent me. I would think Dum Dums. I've never heard of Yum Earth.
I don't know what that is.
Who's buying Dum Dums other than doctor's offices?
Halloween people.
Halloween people.
I guess you're right.
Yeah, that is true.
You don't...
If you like having a candy, yeah, Banks.
The Banks, yeah.
I don't know why Banks give you candy.
I never understood that.
I appreciate it, but I never understood it.
So you feel like you're walking away with something.
If you didn't walk out of there with a dump without a dum-dum,
then you'd be like, well, I just gave them a bunch of money.
It makes it enjoyable.
Maybe.
You know, the fact that you're going to get like a little treat,
like you just have it.
It's like, you know, and it's a long wait.
And so then you got kids.
So if your kids are in there, like a bank is the worst thing for a kid.
So then you're like, you want to get a sucker?
And they're like, yeah.
And then they go in there and they wait for the sucker.
I feel like it's like a, that kind of thing.
I also think when you're doing something like that, time,
your perception of how slowly time is passing changes.
Where if you want to make people feel there's a wait time at the bank,
if you got a lollipop, you're not thinking about how long it's
taking but don't you get it at the teller's window good point brian but if you're a kid and you've
been in there before you know what's up there you go up there and you could go and if it were
something bigger if it were donuts then people would take a bunch of them yeah you couldn't
make the donuts last you can never give out treats like that. People will take several.
I feel like smaller, like mom and pop places might do something like that,
but you got to get there early, and then they go have a donut.
Yeah.
Yeah, people will take – I used to give – at my job, I used to give away hats.
People would always be like, can I get another one for my cousin?
And it's like, no, you can't.
I'm giving away hats.
And then they're mad and i'm like i just
gave you a hat now you're unhappy with me because i didn't give you two yeah people like hats yeah
they love hats yeah i love hats i like hats too it is funny like the people want them that bad
let me get one more and you're like what does it matter i mean i'm talking about a spectracide. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Yeah, it's not like... It's not like the Yankees.
Yeah.
It's nice to get free stuff.
Yeah.
People love it.
And you do.
You just get...
Yeah, exactly like that.
The black one.
The black one, yeah.
That's not even that good of a hat.
I know.
I know, dude, but they were...
Those are the hats that you wear, though.
Yeah.
Those are the ones that you're just throwing it on.
It's a cut-in-the-yard hat.
Yeah.
I mean, my dad worked for Aflac, and he had the little ducks that you could squeeze,
and everybody would go, Aflac, Aflac, and people could not stop wanting those.
Yeah.
I believe that.
I'd like that.
It's the first time I ever heard someone work for Aflac.
Oh, my dad worked for Aflac for like 20 years.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Did he love it when Nick Saban started endorsing it?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, he's all about it.
Yeah.
I mean, he used to tell people that he did the voice of the duck.
Oh, yeah.
That was a big thing for him.
Was it Gilbert Gottfried?
Yeah.
Originally.
And then he got fired because he made some jokes about Japan.
Yeah.
And apparently Japan buys a lot of cancer insurance from Aflac.
Yeah.
So they fired him.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
And then they hired your dad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You guys like gum?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Gum's the best.
I do like gum.
I've been chewing gum a lot because it's not many calories.
Number one selling chewing gum on Amazon, having heard of this, Pure, P-U-R?
Oh.
P-U-R.
Yeah, I think I have it.
I have it.
I think that's the gum I chew.
It's like the mint.
Oh, I've seen that Pure.
I do the Mentos. Pure must uh current yeah i don't top seller on
amazon yeah i don't know i don't know your listings yeah this is the real list well i think
this is probably as good a metric as we have is what's on amazon but there's also going to be a
lot of gums that you're going to buy on amazon because they're not available in stores yeah
what was i've never seen pure red at the gas station big red was the one where they had the
commercials where people were making out all the time chewing the gum like you chew the gum and
someone kisses you yeah it would work yeah that was the ax body spray of the gums yeah okay
what was the one where bottom of that there was the one where... That's the bottom of that? There was the twins.
Oh, the twins.
Double mint.
Oh, it was double mint?
Yeah.
Smarties?
You guys like Smarties?
Mm-hmm.
I love Smarties.
That's what these are?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But the small Smarties is what I liked.
Yeah.
These are giant Smarties.
Those are fun.
Yeah.
Apparently, the red Smarties come from a being a beetle crushed beetles all right
i don't think there's any red ones in there yeah vegetarians criticize the maker of smarties for using a greenery obtained from crushed beetles what how do you even get to the point where you
would even think that you could have crushed beetles in a thing i don't know that's what
happened when the red food dye was causing cancer.
They started crushing beetles.
Well, it doesn't make sense.
I would think that's not true.
I can't even tell you which one's red.
Yeah, I don't think any of those are red.
Oh, I would think it's not true.
I would not believe that.
I used to like the little Smarties.
I would act like I was taking pills or vitamins.
Oh, yeah.
That's what I did as a kid.
I did that with Toms.
Yeah.
That paid off.
Cotton candy.
Yeah, it's like, yeah, you're training.
You're in training.
Yeah, he took that to the big leagues.
You're eating Smarties and candy cigarettes, and you're like, this is my future.
Yeah.
Cotton candy was invented by a guy from Nashvilleashville oh yeah he called it fairy floss
that didn't stick but he took it to the that's such a yeah you want to that the name that you're
like you want to change the name at all like it doesn't sound good at all. He took it to the 1904 St. Louis World's Fair,
and he sold 68,000 boxes at $25 a box.
Wow.
And this is 1904.
How much money is that?
I don't know.
It's a lot.
There you go.
What was it, 68,000 boxes?
Yeah, times 25.
But yeah, later on they changed it.
It was called Fairy Floss up until the 1920s, but then they changed it it was called
fairy floss
up until the 1920s
but then they
changed it to
cotton candy
I had cotton candy
this weekend
it's 1.7 million
I mean that's
I mean the guy's
basically a billionaire
in 1904
yeah
and he was selling it
as fairy floss
back then too
yeah
and then he changed
the name
that seems
it'd be hard for me
to change the name
if I made 1.7 million at a fair.
It took a while, but I think.
Oh, okay.
Not that one fair.
No, no, no, no.
Some controversial candies.
I got one here.
Wait.
What?
I thought this, we were talking one fair.
Oh, and then they go, I think you should change the name.
He goes, I don't, I'm sitting on 1.7 million.
I sold 68,000 of these.
On untapped.
Today.
No one knows I'm here.
Cash.
Cash, $1.7 million.
He's got duffel bags of candy.
And you want me to call it cotton candy?
Sounds like you're trying to sabotage me.
Dingleberries.
Oh, wow.
I can't believe it.
Chocolate-covered gummy bears.
Chocolate-covered gummy bears.
What's the design of that bag?
There's a lot going on.
Well, that's where you think it is.
Oh, come on.
Yeah.
I don't think so. This cannot be a selling point it is. Yeah. Oh, come on. Yeah. I don't think so.
This cannot be a selling point for that.
No.
I think it hurt it.
That's why you never heard of it.
Yes.
That's why they had to put it at the top, it's sugar.
Yeah.
Because you were like, I don't know.
It's sugar.
All right.
All right.
I'll do it.
Wow.
I can't.
I want a chocolate gummy bear.
I don't know what that's.
I don't think I like that.
Are you about to try it out?
I guess so.
You kind of have to.
Chocolate-covered gummy bears.
They seem like conflicting.
Well, I'll try it too, even though the packaging says it shouldn't.
Yeah, I don't like the packaging at all.
There was a candy called.
These are controversial candies.
I'm against this.
M-A-O-A-M.
Mayom?
We've got to get another one.
No, I'm against this.
You like it?
I'm not a big fan of it either.
I like gum beer too.
So they created a character called Mayom Man.
And on the packaging, he was enjoying himself a little bit too much with
the lemons cherries strawberries and oranges and people complained about it but
the company was like we're not changing it he's a lovable character and people young and old like
it but some people are like he's enjoying that orange a little too much. It is.
It's this green guy, this kind of amorphous blob of a guy, and he's loving on these fruit.
I don't think I think too much about it.
You know, the dingleberry, the more I ate that, the better it got.
Well, because once you got the chocolate on it.
As most do.
It's the chocolate that is not good, and you want to get to the, and then you get to the gummy bear.
Once you get the chocolate off, and then you get to the gummy bear. Once you get the chocolate off and then you get to the gummy bear,
you're like, yeah.
I think so.
You're like, I could eat another one.
But you would have to get – you have to get through that chocolate.
Yeah.
But, yeah, going into that, I was like not liking it,
but it got really good.
And I was even looking at mailman as I was eating it.
This dingleberry is like, that's what would sell
like a comedy act on the road
would have like a great t-shirt.
All right.
Like this is like an exact thing
that you'd be like,
this dude has made,
no one knows who he is,
but his shirts are everywhere.
Oh yeah.
And like this guy is just like,
he's making like 10 grand a night
just selling,
you know, he's got a joke about the cranberries, and he goes, I made the candy.
It's the shirt where it looks like it says nothing, and then you fold it up, and it says something.
Yeah.
It's that shirt.
Yeah.
Or people on the road in small towns can't help but buy that shirt.
Oh, yeah. They love it. They love that shirt small towns can't help but buy that shirt. Oh, yeah.
They love it.
They love that.
They love it.
They love that shirt.
They love it so much.
And, yeah, I mean, but you go see an act.
I mean, this would be – this does feel like a comic would sell this at the end of the –
Oh, yeah.
I got dingleberries.
And it would just be –
It's a line out the door.
A line out the door.
I mean, a comic could sell these now because these, no one's ever heard of these.
So a comic could just go buy
a bunch of them.
You bought those
at the loony bin,
right?
Yeah.
But like,
how much,
where'd you have to get these
off Amazon?
No,
I got it at that place
at Opry Mills.
It's called It's Sugar.
Oh,
and so like,
if you just went
and got a bunch of these
and then just said
and sold them for,
how much were they?
Like, I don't know. Five dollars? Bought a bunch of these and then just said and sold them for how much were they? I don't know.
Five dollars?
Bought a bunch of stuff together.
Wow, that's pretty nice.
I paid with change.
But it's like the bag's like $4.
You just charge $15.
Oh, yeah.
And then you just do a joke about Dingleberry.
Yeah, and then people have it at their house and they're like, oh, I got it from a comic.
Yeah.
I bought this Big League Chew, too. Y'all talked about that last time. I love it. I love Big League Chew. Yeah. and then people have it at their house, and they're like, oh, I got it from a comic. Yeah. I bought this Big League Chew, too.
Y'all talked about that last time.
I love it.
I love Big League Chew.
Yeah.
They even had candy cigarettes there.
Oh, wow.
I should have practiced on that before the cigar.
Yeah.
First serving.
Yeah, I mean, you got to practice before you jump right into.
Pop Rocks.
You guys a big Pop Rocks fan?
I think I got one of those in there.
Yeah, it happens in Urban Legend.
They talk about Pop Rocks.
About the Coke?
Yeah.
What kind of show is this?
It's a movie.
Okay.
And does it happen in the movie?
Pacey from Dawson Creek's in it.
Which guy?
Pacey.
I saw Tara Reid was in it.
That's exciting.
I love Dawson.
Yeah, Dawson Creek.
That was my...
I loved it.
I watched every episode.
That was my years.
That was your Dallas
to Brian
that was
yeah but we watched it
it was
Dawson's Creek was made
for like
kids in high school
like so I graduated
in 96
like it was like
Dawson Creek was
what's that dude's name
James Vanderbeek
yeah
he was like the man
yeah
yeah I just looked
I follow him on Instagram
he has six kids
oh good for him
yeah
and then oh sorry 90210 was big Yeah, I just looked at it. I followed him on Instagram. He has six kids. Oh, good for him. Yeah.
And then... Oh, sorry.
90210 was big when Ruth was in high school.
That was her.
And we just found out Jason Priestley moved into our neighborhood.
So she's very excited about that.
Oh, wow.
She loved Jason Priestley.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's cool.
We have squirrel problems.
Yeah.
You want to go to his house and tell him? No, I don't want him to leave. That's cool. They, uh, uh, we have squirrel problems. Yeah.
Tell him.
No,
I didn't.
I don't want him to run.
I don't want to leave.
So,
but they,
uh,
yeah.
Dawson's Creek was what did like one tree Hill.
Did you watch one tree Hill or something?
What's the other,
did you watch a show like that?
Saved by the bell.
Yeah.
We watched it.
That was when I was younger.
Yeah. And then,
uh,
Dawson Creek was like,
you're kind of soap operate. Oh yeah. You didn't have a younger. Yeah. And then Dawson Creek was like your kind of soap opera.
Oh, yeah.
You didn't have a show?
We had a bunch of those kind of shows.
You can't name one?
Below Deck?
It was like The O.C., Laguna Beach, all that kind of stuff.
Yeah, I guess it became more reality.
I never watched One Tree Hill, but that was-
Oh, I didn't know those were reality shows.
They're not.
I mean, the ones I just named. No, see, is it not a reality
show? I don't know. Laguna Beach?
I don't know. It is a reality show.
I think they're the first reality show. How old were you
when you started West Wing?
Seven.
I'd watch it. My dad would watch it
when I was younger, but I didn't really get into it
until after college.
Did you wear a suit when you watched it?
when I was younger, but I didn't really get into it until after college.
Did you wear a suit when you watched it?
Did you bring a briefcase of candy to the couch and sit down?
I mean, that's what we just wore around the house.
That's what you wore the suits on.
Well, there was an urban legend that Pop Rocks with Coke would make your stomach explode.
The rumor was that the kid who played Mikey
from the Life Serial commercial died
from consuming Pop Rocks and Coca-Cola.
And the very first episode of Mythbusters,
they tested it on a pig,
and the pig's stomach did not explode,
but did grow three times in size.
So still pretty bad.
The pig did or his stomach did?
Why didn't they do it?
Because they try to make it
legit
like let's see if this is real
and they're not gonna do it
to themselves
if
if
somehow you think
it might really
make your stomach explode
the pig grew three times
in size
or its stomach
its stomach
oh
I like
yeah
well I like the idea
that
well that seems like
yeah
because
you got bigger issues.
Hey, pal.
Hey, bear.
Good night.
Oh, Henry.
Oh, Henry.
Wow.
So, are you talking up to him now?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right. I like the idea that even Mythbusters is doing Yeah. Yeah. That, all right.
I like the idea that even Mythbusters is like doing it.
They're like, we don't do it to ourselves.
And you're like, well, I think we would know.
I mean, the fact that they, if this was true,
they're just allowing Pop Rocks and sodas to still exist.
Yeah.
Yeah, a lot of kids would have died.
I'm sure I ate Pop Rocks and soda at the same time.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know that's the reason why they did the pig,
but I'm guessing that's the point of like,
if this is a legit thing we're going to try to figure out,
we wouldn't do it to ourselves.
But it seems not good.
If the stomach grew three times in size,
that feels like an explosion.
I think it gives you a lot of gas, supposedly.
Yeah, it feels like gas.
Oh, then it goes back to normal.
Yeah.
Oh.
It doesn't matter.
It's worth it.
Yeah. I bet if you go,. It's worth it. Yeah.
I bet if you go, how much does it grow normally?
And they'd be like, one time, two times.
You'd be like, that's why it's not that big of a deal.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like everything.
What if you ate it every day?
Okay.
I don't trust Mythbusters.
Yeah.
They're always like, oh, we busted it.
And it's like, well, did you though?
You didn't do it on a human.
You did it on a pig.
It's a great idea for a show though it is a good idea my grandfather was a physicist and we were watching
was he he's a physics professor in college my grandfather what did y'all we were watching so
how did y'all get around in just alabama were y'all just like mortified every day you walked
out oh we loved it would they be
chirping at you and you're like I don't even know
and you'd have to go talk to them the regular folk
regular folk yeah
you're just like Doc Hollywood your whole family
he was watching Mythbusters
once and he saw they
did an equation wrong
they did the math wrong on something
and he wrote in
so I'm saying I don't trust him either.
I don't trust him.
Because he was watching.
He's like, they're not even doing this right.
Yeah.
Did they respond?
No.
Oh.
Nah.
They finally stopped the show, right?
They ran out of mist.
Hopefully, dude.
They're like Bill Nye.
I think so.
Bill Nye is the science guy.
I don't like Bill Nye.
He's just an improviser.
I don't like him either.
Yeah.
I did a show with him.
Did you really?
Like South by the Sea. He was on the show. Maybe he hosted
it or something. Okay. Nice guy?
Yeah, I mean, I barely.
It was like, yeah.
Comedy show.
It's like all that stuff where it's like
they're entertainers. Yeah, he's like
a comedian. Yeah, yeah.
It's like whatever they have is like
yeah. It is funny because it's like whatever they have is like yeah it is funny
because it's like he's not a scientist at all right now and it is funny that they have bill
not a scientist like they and they go to him like real science oh yeah they ask him like what do you
think it's like yeah he's not oh and people believe him they think that oh bill nye's said it
yeah yeah so let's go to the moon let's go to the moon i guess we've already been to the moon
bill nye said it i guess he was there So let's go to the moon. Let's go to the moon. I guess we've already been to the moon.
Bill Nye said it.
I guess he was there.
A few months back, a photo of a smooth Snickers bar went viral online because people thought that Snickers was doing away with the wavy lines.
There it is right there.
Oh, wow.
Someone posted that, and people got outraged that Snickers was doing away with the wavy lines. There it is right there. Oh, wow. Someone posted that, and people got outraged that Snickers was changing.
Snickers finally had to issue a statement saying,
we're not changing.
That's either a manufacturer problem or that candy bar melted in your car.
Yeah, that's what it was.
You know what it was?
I'm saying that's the most likely.
Yeah.
It's most likely.
It's the guy that's probably had that happen.
Is that your hand yeah that was in your classic classic that was in your emergency parking under a tree you go in
to waffle house you're there a little longer than you expect i've seen it have i seen it once
it's seen it 20 times just that was this emergency pack? Yeah, that's just a mercy pack.
Yeah, I guess you break down or something.
You got smooth stinkers in there.
I'm saying the way these candy bars are produced,
it's a lot easier for me to believe that one melted in a car
than there was one missed the chocolate drizzle on the conveyor belt in the factory.
I think I would see that more than I would see.
That's too smooth for melted.
Well.
Melted, that's way too smooth.
I would say that missed the whole thing.
Or I don't trust the person that did this.
I don't trust the guy with that keyboard, really, there.
Look at that thing.
Yeah, that's not a keyboard of somebody that you trust.
Yeah, how do you get used to that keyboard?
It's like an ergonomic keyboard that's split in half where it's kind of raised in the middle with a lot of wrist pad in the front of it it doesn't
look like this yeah i don't like the keyboard like that i think he smoothed that snickers bar
out at home i think he licked it yeah he looked at that smooth because if it melted that wrapper
seemed like it would be had chocolate on it well i think it's actually a great
point in corporate america getting some work done all these people go to college and they go smooth
the snickers out yeah they get paid seven hundred thousand dollars a day probably went to purdue so
let's build a candy melting machine and try to verify yes yeah i'll end on this they this never
happened but they found... There you go.
I mean,
who starts with V-neck? Well,
I wanted to set it up.
I didn't want to get you guys...
I made this up completely.
Unicorns flew to my house
this weekend,
and all right,
well,
I guess...
I didn't want to get you guys
excited and say
whatever happened,
but they found
reports and papers
after World War II
that Nazis
were creating a candy bar that they were going to try to get to Winston Churchill, say what never happened but they found reports and papers after world war ii that nazis were
creating a candy bar that they were going to try to get to winston churchill and once you break it
open after seven seconds it explodes to kill him but why so when you're doing a podcast on comedy
why would you not present that as real because i mean, it really, the papers are real.
I'm just saying that it never got to him.
It never.
They made the candy bar.
They drew up the plans for it.
Okay.
They never tried to slip it to him.
It didn't get caught.
These were just blueprints, plans,
a way they were going to assassinate him.
And you thought we would believe?
I think if I just said,
the Nazis created this candy bar,
you were like,
well, what happened?
Did it get to?
No, they never even got that far.
So I just wanted you guys to know.
It sounds like a bad plan, though, too.
It's like you get it to,
you're like,
here, I got you a candy bar,
Winston Churchill,
and he's like,
oh, I never heard of this one.
Wow.
And they're like,
well, no, eat it. A German chocolate.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's it called, Kaboom?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like a mix of a Snickers
and a Kit Kat.
Eat it. I'm going to leave the room
though.
Maybe you shouldn't have ended on that one.
No.
We can keep going.
If I saw this guy, I feel like
I could get to him through a candy bar.
He was a big boy.
What if he takes a candy bar? He's not going to through a candy bar he was a big boy you go what if he
takes a candy they go he's not gonna take candy bar you guys you see winston he goes he'll ask
for it he goes here's how confident i am winston churchill gonna take candy bar i don't think we
even have to try to give it to him i think you go eat a candy bar in front of him and then the
whole time he will only be thinking about where did you get that candy bar?
You always feel when you eat gum
you got to offer it.
Oh, you got to.
On a plane?
I started doing that.
To strangers?
Yeah, I pulled a gum out
and I gave you guys one piece of gum.
Any time they say no
I feel like they appreciate it.
Yeah.
I hope so.
You wake them up?
Yeah.
Hey!
What's that?
Over there.
I hold it up to their mouth.
You got to just under their mouth. You got to just.
Under their nose.
You got unwrapped gum in the palm of your hand.
I don't know if you can meet your girl after this fight.
If you want some gum.
We've been on a war up here.
But I think people assume if you offer them gum, they think, oh, is my breath bad?
It's like, no, I'm just trying to be.
Then you got to talk to them the whole flight after you give them the gum.
Well, you don't offer it early.
I shut it down pretty quickly.
Yeah, because you don't want to chew gum early on a flight
because then what are you going to do with it?
Yeah.
I always think then you're going to get tired of it.
I put it in the bag you're supposed to hyperventilate it.
That's gross.
And then you take the bag.
And then I wrap the bag up and I throw it in the trash.
I have a weird thing about it.
I'm not good with wrapping.
I need gum to be gone.
So you waste it.
I can't have it wrapped up. I can't have it wrapped up.
I can't have it be sitting.
I just stick it on the back of the seat until the gum.
I see people, they get gum, and then they put it on their plate while they eat.
And I'm like, I almost want to leave the table.
I can't handle it.
It's not good.
So you waste the whole throw-up bag for just a little piece of gum?
If I need to.
A lot of the times I can make it last until a drink is brought out,
and then that usually comes with a napkin.
But do you make it seem like you put it in a napkin too?
You don't like putting it in a napkin?
I couldn't do it.
What, do you just walk around with a trash can at all times?
Well, I won't put myself in the situation until I know I can get to a trash can.
You've got to think about chewing gum that much.
Am I going to be around a trash can?
That much.
That's crazy. This is what I want you to do. This looks like to be around a trash can? That much. That's crazy.
This is what I want you to do.
This looks like I just went off on the candy.
I don't love this.
This looks like I just went off on the candy.
Well, I don't love that this stuff is all laying.
Okay.
But I mean, I've dealt with it because I'm a professional.
Okay.
But it's-
You've been worried about it.
Yeah, I don't care for it.
I've looked at this about 100 times.
I don't like it either, to be honest with you.
I can handle this bag.
This is the grossest.
I can make it look like it's closed and it's back to really put together in place.
I'm fine with.
But when it's just a crazy mess.
But I won't have gum unless I know I'm going to be able to get it.
I won't have something.
Can I get rid of the trash?
I won't have anything unless I know I can get rid of the trash.
So if you were flying and y'all hit turbulence and the oxygen mask fell,
would you just take the gum
and stick it in there?
Yeah.
Like if you wanted to get rid of it?
I thought we just saved you
from ending badly.
That's fair.
Oh, good.
A good place for my gum.
That's fair.
Yeah.
That's it.
All right. We love you, everybody. Thank good place for my gum. That's fair. Yeah. That's it. All right.
We love you, everybody.
Thank you very much, as always, for listening.
Yeah, I'll be in – this comes out this week.
I'm heading to Bend, Oregon, in Jacksonville, Oregon, Amphitheaters.
And then I'll be in Hawaii.
Bend, Oregon, Jacksonville is this weekend, right?
Yeah. And then something. Hawaii, Bend, Oregon, Jacksonville is this weekend, right?
Yeah.
And then something.
And then Hawaii, 22nd and 3rd, I believe.
Maui and Honolulu, I will be there.
Very excited.
Very excited about all these shows.
So go check that out.
Come out.
I'll be back at the Grand Ole Opry.
Nice.
Tuesday, July 19th. Oh, i'm going to tampa florida phoenix arizona dania beach florida i've never been in that part
of florida before so i'm excited and then i'm doing the arlington draft house in arlington
virginia outside of dc august 12th and 13th it's a great place yeah I'm excited yeah I'm gonna go to
Bolivia
North Carolina
to the
Odell Williamson
Auditorium on Saturday
wow
and then Tuesday
I'll have a show at Zany's
July 19th
oh right
same so if you don't
want to go see
Brian at the Opry
come to see
go to Zany's
but if you don't
want to go to Zany's
go see Brian at the Opry
there you go
there you go
alright we will see
y'all next week
have fun bye go see Brian at the opera. There you go. There you go. All right. We will see y'all next week. Have fun.
Bye.
Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions
and by me,
Nate Bargetzi,
and my wife,
Laura,
on the All Things Comedy Network.
Recording and editing for the show
is done by Genovations Media.
Thanks for tuning in.
Be sure to catch us next week
on the Nateland Podcast.