The Nateland Podcast - #113 College pt. 2
Episode Date: August 31, 2022This week the guys continue their talk about college by looking at the cost of tuition, acceptance rates, secret societies, party schools, and whether "funner" is a word. Podcast produced by ...Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - Nateland@NateBargatze.com Lectric eBike - LectriceBikes.com · Where will your eBike adventures take you? Go to LectriceBikes.com and get $100 off any eBike purchase · That is LECTRICeBikes.com Mizzen and Main - MizzenandMain.com Mizzen+Main just turned 10, so they’ve got great deals running on their site all summer long. Right now, if you go to MizzenAndMain.com and use promo code NATE, you’ll receive $35 off any regular price order of $125 or more. That’s $35 off when you go to MIZZENANDMAIN.com and use our promo code NATE. Athletic Greens - AthleticGreens.com/Nate Right now, it’s time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient, daily nutrition — especially heading into the flu and cold season! It’s just one scoop in a cup of water every day. That’s it! No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health. To make it easy, Athletic Greens Is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit ATHLETIC GREENS.com/NATE. Again, that is ATHLETIC GREENS.com/NATE to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
hello folks welcome to the nateland podcast there we go hey bear welcome to the nateland
podcast i'm here with brian bates aaron weber dusty slay uh glad to have you uh back this week
i'm in the audience not you know everybody was here not y'all uh it was a fun week vandy big win
super excited that's the biggest win i could remember seeing vandy have i mean
62 to 10 or whatever 63 get it right aaron, Aaron. My bad. I'm sorry. Yeah.
We're not Notre Dame.
Y'all can only get to 62.
Yeah, dude.
It was super exciting.
Hawaii was favored.
I believe, right?
No.
No, we were slight favorites.
I don't understand how that looks.
I thought it looked the other way.
But no one expected that.
They got up first.
Seven to nothing.
Seven to nothing. It was like I was having to, I was in Massachusetts,
and I couldn't get the CBS network.
Like, I couldn't get it to watch it.
And so I was kind of having to follow it because I was doing a show,
and I was following it all the time.
But every time I refreshed it, dude, it was like we just went up.
And I've never watched Vandy like that.
It was very cool to big air i mean it was like i would refresh it in like a minute there was one point where i we it was like
a touchdown fumble cover touchdown and we scored again and i mean it was just every time i refreshed
we're 49 50 and i'm like i think we I think we scored 35 points in the third quarter.
Third quarter, yeah, five touchdowns.
Yeah, 35 points.
Yeah, third quarter, I just could never not do it.
Every time I refreshed was just another one.
I mean, I was, you know, man, opening a season like this is just,
we don't get that.
And I'm super excited about it. Go SEC.
Yeah, go SEC.
You know?
And you've got a nice stretch here where you could really stack some wins up, too.
Elon, Wake Forest will be – I mean, they're ranked.
Northern Illinois, Alabama, I think easy.
Yeah.
Ole Miss, hard.
No.
Georgia, easy.
Yeah.
Yeah, that'll be a tough run right there once you get past that
will north illinois but it's it's the tone was set which is very nice we're number one in the
sec right now and that's huge uh i don't see how we lose that spot number one offense in the country
like the last eight games are it's like wow yeah what a run yeah well it's like, wow. Yeah. What a run. Yeah. Well, it's the SEC.
Yeah.
And, but it's, I mean, just super, super fun.
I think every SEC team's now got to look at Vandy.
They're like, all right.
Like, it's like, it's not just going to be this easy thing.
Yeah, you're a real team.
We're a team.
We're a team and we're going to be a problem.
How, do we go undefeated?
I mean, probably.
I think so. I'm looking at the schedule
i don't see where the losses are well as a traditional vanderbilt fan elon's probably
yeah where it's gonna be so we got one hard game left elon and then after that it's a cool breeze
to the sec championship huh i'm pumped all right i't wait. Alright, I love it too.
Welcome everybody.
I was in
cough more into the mic.
We don't have a cough button.
Our theory is to just go directly
into the mic
instead of maybe leaning back
or turning or just
doing that.
He pulled it forward.
He pulled it forward.
Almost cone it.
Give me two seconds.
Almost cone it.
Guys, give me two seconds.
I'm about to cough
and sneeze
and I thought
I would do it this way.
We had,
I had a fun weekend.
My last kind of
outdoor shows
this weekend
and we were in Toledo, Toledo Zoo. Great, I had a fun weekend. My last kind of outdoor shows were this weekend,
and we were in Toledo, Toledo Zoo, great, great zoo.
They showed us around.
Harper and Laura were with me.
We saw a bear, grizzly bear, very big.
That's fun.
They are big.
They are so big.
In looking at a bear, did you feel like that you could juke it? I mean, they're so big. In looking at a bear, did you feel like that you could juke it?
I mean, they're so big.
I mean, I know Joe Rogan shot that down so fast, but I still got to think, I mean, you know, Barry Sanders is not a deer.
I think I'm definitely still giving it a go.
Yeah.
If the one's charging me, I don't think I'm going to stay.
What are your other options?
I don't know.
I think you got to run straight sideways.
That's what I've got to think.
Because it's like Joe was saying, it's like a truck running at you.
Well, if a truck's running at you and I run straight sideways,
maybe at an angle kind of backwards, it can't turn.
Not saying it's not going to flip around.
Now, a bear, a little more agile than a truck.
But if both case scenarios jumped in front of me, a truck running at me and a bear, I'd figure if one's going to do one, you might have the other.
Moving is a good option in general.
Yeah.
If a truck's coming at you, you don't go, I got no chance.
Just stand here.
Even if he swipes you with the claw, you know,
it's like maybe you can get away.
Yeah.
The claws are crazy.
Yeah.
It'll hurt.
It'll hurt.
Yeah.
It'll hurt.
But I'm not saying I'm not going to try it.
Right.
Yeah.
Now, was Eric with you at the zoo?
Yeah.
Okay.
Someone emailed and said they saw Eric and Harper walk around the zoo together okay someone emailed said they saw eric and harper
walk around the zoo together oh yeah i was like okay i guess eric's a nutritionist barber
babysitter we that was i had to go to sound check and uh uh harper where they wanted to see the
wolves and i wasn't able to go so eric and they went and the wolves so i mean everybody there
at the zoo i can't think enough they were cool. We got to do a lot of stuff.
We got to feed a lot of animals.
And they were just very nice.
And that's the fun stuff.
My daughter gets to go see all this kind of stuff.
And so they were awesome.
And that venue's awesome.
I love these outdoor shows.
I mean, we got very fortunate.
We never had weather problems.
They had a weather problem in Cape Cod where I was because I was Hampton Beach, New Hampshire.
That place is awesome.
That venue is like a ballroom kind of type, but it's an awesome, awesome place.
And we played.
Oh, that's what I meant to wear.
We went to a casino at and an aces and eights
casino in new hampshire and you can go play we played with uh we played blackjack but it's only
it goes like the money goes to some of the money goes to charity or something so you can only it's
five dollar minimum ten dollar max which is uh it's a pretty solid yeah i think anybody can walk
up to that table and they feel all right.
Like, you know, can't go too crazy.
Yeah.
And it was, but that place was very cool.
And I could have a sweatshirt from there.
I mean, where?
It's on the bus.
So, and Vandy won.
So I was like, you know, I got to do what I got to do.
Yeah, yeah.
But it was, yeah, that place was great.
And then Cape Cod, the Melody Tent, it's in the round, which was nice.
My special's in the round in Phoenix.
So it was nice to kind of be able to do that before the special.
And that crowd was so, I mean, all of them were just so pumped.
It's been so nice.
So, I mean, everybody that's come, you're the best.
You're the best. Did you make it to the Wilson County Fair? I that's come, you're the best. You're the best.
Did you make it to the Wilson County Fair?
I did.
Oh, you did?
I did make it to the Wilson County Fair.
Wilson County Fair is great.
If you're here in Nashville, go to the Wilson County Fair.
It's awesome.
I love a fair.
Does Davidson County not have a fair?
They used to have the Tennessee State Fair,
but now they just joined with Wilson County.
They just couldn't compete.
Wilson County's just doing it right.
They're just like, look,
we can have it. They have a Williamson County
Fair. I've been to that one.
It's fine. It's fun. What makes the fair
so great?
That's my...
All that fair food is the best.
I like a funnel cake.
I'm into it. Funnel cake. I get the Walkin' Taco. It's like the best. Okay. I like a funnel cake. I'm into it.
Funnel cake.
I get the walking taco that's in the Frito bag.
Right out of the bag, yeah.
I mean, that's maybe my favorite thing I've ever eaten.
And it's just very fun.
It's all there in the bag.
Funnel cakes.
You know, the kids are riding the rides.
You're going to watch them ride the rides.
You're talking them into riding the rides.
You know, I don't know.
Harper did good.
She rode a lot of stuff that we didn't think she would ride.
And then all the nieces and nephews, they ride everything.
So I think a fair is just, you know, it's almost like maybe it's the last thing
that doesn't feel corporate or something.
Oh, yeah.
I wonder if that's the feeling of it.
Because it's like, I mean, I know it's like sponsored,
but it's not sponsored by, you know, Coke, Coca-Cola or something.
It's sponsored by all the local kind of stuff.
It's like run by the local stuff.
It's like everything in the world has to be so perfect.
Commercialized.
Commercialized or like been perfect with rules and all this kind of stuff
and it's the last affair is the last kind of like it's a little loosey-goosey going a little
renegade place a little renegade you don't know what's going on here yeah yeah if anything's
gonna go wrong it might go wrong out there a lot of people on probation working at the fair exactly
yeah my whole family works there and there you go exactly that's why some loosey-goosey might
happen because you never know my sister volunteers was, was there every day, loved it.
They do it just for the free tickets to get in.
Oh, yeah.
Short of a 12-hour shift to get $5 off a ticket.
But they love it.
My mom won a car at the Wilson County Fair one year.
Really?
All right.
What kind of car?
Buick LeSaber.
Okay.
That's a fair car.
Yeah.
She had to choose.
There was like five cars that different dealerships put up,
and then they have a drawing, and they call her number the very first time,
and thousands of people try to do this, of course, and she won.
What year?
This was like 10 years ago.
I don't know.
Does she still have it?
She just got rid of it recently.
Yeah.
I had a 1982 Buick, let's say, where I drove for a long time.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, big car.
Did you lose something?
Well, I lost my other car to a car accident,
and then my mom just had this one laying around.
Trailer.
Y'all have multiple cars.
Yeah.
It was just.
Took the cinder blocks out from underneath it.
Yeah, you had to get the carburetor worked on.
Is trailer parks probably the most cars around?
There are a lot of cars.
Yeah, there is a lot of cars.
A lot of back out park over here.
You got a lot of moving.
Well, you got multiple people living in one trailer, you know?
And they all got a.
But sometimes people don't have cars because they don't have a license.
So you'll just see them sitting around on their steps where do you park at well you park in the driveway yeah yeah or the you know the backyard anywhere on the grass yeah we didn't have a lot of
grass we had a real sandy yard oh yeah it's hard to mow up a trailer park yard too and because of
again because a lot of trash laying around and you never know might kick up some a lot of weed eating yeah you can weed eat a yard yeah yeah and you don't really
need a lot of lawnmower yeah you weed eat it but also we had you know stuff lying about yeah that
you would gnomes yeah yeah we had a say you know during the desert storm war i had a sand yard so
it was like really set up for all my desert storm uh army
men that i had i mean it was great we had our own little thing going on yeah they're g.i.j.os and
you would play to the war that was happening oh yeah yeah yeah he'd reenact it yeah so right now
this would be you know russia ukraine yeah you'd really be giving it a go yeah i mean yeah oh yeah
it'd be a great time out there
but i don't know i don't know what the the terrain looks like that's true i don't really
know what ukraine terrain looks like yeah it's tough to say tough to build a city out of it
was easy when that one was yeah because you're just sand and i was like well i already got that
going on yeah yeah my trucks are the same color as this. It was really a lot of fun. I bet you hated when that war ended.
Yeah, I mean.
Well, luckily it lasted for quite a while.
So you got enough play out.
Yeah, by the time it ended, I joined the Army.
Yeah.
I mean, I never got in, but I did join.
Did you join?
I did join.
I got arrested.
Oh, did we talk about this?
Oh, yeah.
Did we?
I think maybe a little bit.
Yeah.
We didn't go into too much detail.
Well, it goes well with the college episode of today because after i dropped out of college i
you know joined the army okay and then didn't get in all right well we're we're talking about
when we get to the college episode uh what was it at the fair yes you had that yeah i was i was uh
gonna ask if you guys had ever won anything i I mean, maybe not a car, but anything in general.
Just you've been picked.
No.
No, I've never won anything like that.
I was trying to think of if I had.
Even a contest of free donuts or?
Mm.
I didn't mean that because of you.
Yeah.
You don't have to think so big.
Did you win?
Well, those are all words that he.
Have you won a free donut contest?
You enter a lot of donut contests. You win a free donut contest with yourself,
and you just go buy the donut.
You wake up every morning.
You go, God, I'm all...
I win.
You put your number behind your back.
You go, won.
You go, oh, free donut.
Have you won anything? i don't think so yeah i mean i'm sure i've won something but nothing really comes to mind nothing so big that i was like you know i've
done some scratch offs here and there back in the day and i might have won five bucks or so but how
many times do you think you've been on the local news well not not uh i want i mean for comedy a few times yeah you
know they never really featured me on anything growing up okay it was a tornado that went
through my dad's town and my dad got on the news oh yeah yeah so my dad got on there it was a lot
of fun that's fun his neighbor was on there crying and then my dad you know was making fun of him a little bit he goes come on give me a break over here yeah yeah yeah i mean because my dad had insurance
that guy didn't have insurance and that guy's crying about his fence and my dad was like hey
you know you wouldn't tell me lose something that's a right attitude. Yeah. Yeah. I like that attitude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Some stuff happens,
sometimes it doesn't.
Yeah.
All right.
I was with Henry Cho
Saturday in Crossville, Tennessee,
and last night I was in Murfreesboro
at New Vision Baptist Church
doing Date Night with Brian Bates.
Just for couples.
Oh, what's that all about?
It's just a couples thing.
They're couples ministry, so I was performing. They called it Date Night with Brian Bates. Just for couples. Oh, what's that all about? It's just a couples thing. They're couples ministry.
So I was, they called it date night with Brian Bates.
Some people were really disappointed, but it was a fun time.
Did you just stand up?
Yeah.
Disappointed because they wanted to go on a date with you and then they found out you're
just doing comedy?
Yeah.
All right.
So it was like a couple.
So it was, yeah, like couples.
So date night, like wife, husband come out.
Yeah.
For their, to kind of launch their, I guess, couples ministry or something.
Yeah.
It was fun.
Yeah, that's cool.
I was in Tulsa, Oklahoma at the Looney Bin.
Had a lot of people come out.
That was fun.
I wish I had a more interesting thing to talk.
The shows were all great.
I was expecting some of them to be awful.
I was sitting in the back dreading them. they were all pretty nice yeah some people got kicked
out but that was before i got on stage so it was smooth sailing for me oh yeah that's nice yeah
it was a great weekend there you go i'd like to say i was at the loony bin uh years ago the tulsa
loony bin and um the when i every time you take a shower a bath, the condo would get like all flooded.
Oh, really?
And I told the manager about it and he goes, yeah, that happens.
Yeah.
And so I asked Aaron, I was like, hey, was the floor still doing that thing?
And he was like, yeah.
So for years, it's just flooding every weekend.
So like when you take a shower.
It's just, there's a patch of carpet that's just wet.
I mean, in the kitchen it had circle, like the square tiles,
and you would step on one and water would come up from in between the cracks.
So it's leaking from underneath somewhere.
Yeah, I don't know what's happening, but I'm just shocked that that's still happening.
Yeah, is it a condo?
Yeah, it's a house.
How is it?
It's not bad.
Yeah, the house is not bad besides that, yeah.
Besides probably, yeah, real structural damage to the house in that way.
Yeah, mold and breathing that in.
It is pretty nice.
Other than that, solid state.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I went to Naples, Florida off the hook.
It was great.
I've heard a lot of people talk about that club in a negative way,
but I had a great time.
It was very fun.
I enjoyed it too. Yeah. When I went down down to naples naples is a cool spot it's like uh i think it seems like
older people go there and stay but i think naples is a great place to for retirement you know yeah
and that's why it's you know a popular spot yeah i mean it's a weird mix of people. I mean, you got, you know, but it was great. I mean, the audience was like, one show was like very old.
But that was one of my favorite shows of the weekend.
I used to do a lot of shows for old people in Charleston, South Carolina.
And so I like it.
If I see it's all old out there, I just kind of like get into like grandson mode.
You know, like I'm like, I got to be respectful to these people.
Yeah. Right attitude to have. Yeah. Yeah. You know, like I'm like, I got to be respectful to these people. Yeah.
Right attitude to have.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I did a show with Dusty.
This is a few years ago in Egg Harbor, Wisconsin, for a bunch of old people.
Yeah.
They were very old, and Dusty was not having fun.
I did not like them.
It was the least fun I've ever seen him have during a show,
and he gets to the point where he's going to do his merch pitch,
and I'm in the back watching Dusty.
He just picks up his shirt and looks at it.
He goes, nah.
I was howling laughing in the back.
That was the funniest thing I'd ever seen.
I got off stage, and the guy had my check.
I don't think he was like, oh, I know you're upset.
Here's your check.
He just had it ready, and I just grabbed the check,
and we beat people from the show out to the parking lot i mean
that's a funny one that's a fun one that when you when you you just get off stage and you're gone
i love the interaction like the whole night everybody's kind of got their own separate
you all just want to get to the car and go yeah we want to get out of it was the room was too well lit so you could really see people so i could just
see people not enjoying themselves i didn't feel like it was a bomb but it was like quick laughs
and i just hated it yeah i don't know what it was, but I hated it. What's your hat?
Aaron Webber's hat. Oh, this is the Augusta Pimento Cheese.
Minor League team?
Yes, they're a minor league team.
Oh, that's cool.
That's their name?
The Augusta Pimento Cheese?
Well, these minor league teams do alternate jerseys
with a food that's relevant to the city.
So I guess Augusta, Georgia.
Pimento Cheese because of the Masters.
Yeah, Pimento cheese because the masters yeah
yeah pimento cheese sandwiches it's a lot of fun yeah that's fun all right uh let's start off with
you guys comments uh richard gatling nate going on a rant about the gap year sorry i'm doing the
mic nate going on a rant about the gap year and then proceeding to change his mind is the
reason I listen.
This podcast was right on the money line.
Boom.
Boom.
Yeah.
Nailed it.
Linda Vedders.
This was the most Nate way to do a college episode by not finishing it.
Oh, yeah.
Love that.
That's a good little slam there.
Yeah.
There is no part two in real life.
Dustin Gaddis.
Just for the record, there's no such thing as a three-sided pyramid.
That's interesting.
I guess because it would be four-sided.
Actually, it would be five-sided.
Oh.
One, two, three, four.
I don't know.
Did we say there was a three-sided one?
Yeah, we kept calling it a three.
We were talking about triangles, but we kept calling it a pyramid.
Oh, okay.
Which are two different things.
That is true.
Because there's no way for it to be three-sided.
You could do three-sided.
You could, but there'd still be, you've got to count the bottom, too.
Well, that's the bottom.
That's not really a side.
Yeah, then what are we doing?
Yeah, I mean, the side is the side, and then the bottom. That's not really a side. Yeah. Then what are we doing? Yeah. I mean, the side is the side, and then the –
Okay.
That sounds like a college thing.
Yeah, I think so.
The people that built the pyramid, it's like, well, it's got three sides to it.
Then someone that did nothing goes, technically, the bottom's the side.
Somebody coming in saying, technically.
Technically.
Technically, the bottom's the side.
You go, okay.
Well, only if it's turned upside down or flipped over.
That's why that guy didn't have to carry any of the bricks,
because he's smart like that.
Amy Copeland.
Whenever Nate talks about his 17 on the ACT,
I think about the quote,
everyone is a genius,
but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
There are many different kinds of intelligence,
and you guys are certainly comedy geniuses.
All right.
Yeah.
I appreciate that.
Thanks, Amy.
If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree.
You've got to ask Fish that.
So for you, climbing a tree is math and reading.
No, I think I'm the tree and the fish is everybody else.
We're all trying to get to your level?
Just completely misread the metaphor.
So yeah, I'm the tree.
So I'm the tree.
That's beautiful.
That's beautiful.
That's beautiful, Amy. The fish is math and reading and I'm the tree. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. That's beautiful, Amy.
The fish is math and reading, and I'm the tree.
Amy's at home pulling her hair out right now, like, no, you idiot.
Amy, you're something special.
Yeah, no, the tree would be the math and reading, if you judge me by that.
Probably some other stuff.
A lot going into that tree.
Yeah, there's a lot in there.
I think the ACT was right on the money.
Hunter Grafe.
The national average for the ACT is 20.3, not 18.
I'd like to see Aaron actually score after a comment like that.
Wow.
Yeah, let's see the actual scores.
Let's see some proof here.
Let's see it.
I have a hard time believing Hunter knew that number off the top of his head.
He looked it up, found out the exact number, and then presents it as,
you idiot, you didn't know.
I also agree with that.
Yeah, that's true.
But I also did confidently say it was 18, and that was wrong.
Yeah, I bet he could think it wasn't 18.
For sure.
That's what he looked it up. But then you've got to look up the specific number. There's no way he knew it was 20.3. Yeah. I bet he could think it wasn't 18. For sure.
That's what he looked at.
But then you got to look up the specific number.
There's no way he knew it was 20.3.
Yeah.
But he's like, it's more than 18.
What's the highest score?
What did we determine?
36 is a perfect score.
Okay.
And the national average is 20, huh?
Mm-hmm.
Good thing I didn't take it.
Yeah.
Summit for everybody.
Yeah.
I didn't even... I think it costs money to take. It does take money. And I was like, oh, no, I'm't take it. Yeah. It's not meant for everybody. Yeah, I didn't even. I think it costs money to take.
It does take.
And I was like, oh, no, I'm not doing that.
And a lot of these kids now, they're paying for,
they're taking classes to learn how to take those tests.
Oh, yeah.
I never even got that.
Neither one of my parents were like, you should take the ACT.
They were like, I don't think they knew what it was either.
They were like, what, 40 bucks?
Nah.
Yeah. Well, I never took the SAT because I knew I wasn't think they knew what it was either. They were like, what, $40? Nah. Yeah.
Well, I never took the SAT because I knew I wasn't leaving Tennessee.
Because the SAT is for out of state, right?
Oh, is it?
I don't think I ever took the SAT either.
I thought the SAT was something we took every year.
I thought the ACT, I thought it was.
I thought it was like your last two years or something.
Wasn't the SAT like a Scantron?
Multiple choice?
That is a type of test.
Standardized testing.
Standardized testing.
Scantron is literally the sheet of paper that you fill out
and then it reads it through a machine.
You take the PSAT when you're a junior usually, the pre-SAT.
And then senior year, you take the SAT.
I feel like in middle school, we were taking an SAT of sorts.
We took the – you can take the ACT in seventh grade.
Yeah.
You can take the SAT in seventh –
You can take the – a lot of kids will take the act in seventh grade to just like i don't know why
just to see where they're at just to see what's going on yeah but those those are just yearly
standardized tests those aren't the college admissions tests we had to take some aptitude
tests one year uh we were all in the uh in the performing arts center of the school and like the
army was there for some reason and they were like yeah right, you don't have to take this test if you don't want to, but you have to come up
here and sign a thing. And so this girl, I remember, uh, uh, Rebecca, she came up, she went
up first, everybody cheered for her. She signed her name. And then like, just everyone started
going down there and signing up. And then they were like, all right, all right, all right. Actually,
you do have to take it. Like, I guess they didn't expect people to say no to it. Yeah. And then they were like, all right, all right, all right. Actually, you do have to take it. Like, I guess they didn't expect people to say no to it.
Yeah.
And then they were like, you do have to take it.
So we all had to take it.
And it was something to like tell us what we're supposed to be or whatever.
Do you remember what you got?
I don't remember.
I don't.
I was excited about it.
I was like, oh, good.
Finally, some direction.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You get to know where you want to go.
Yeah.
But I don't know that anything came out of it i think it was all like you should join the army
yeah it leans to clean an army pretty heavy right you have to do something spectacular
to not get yes yes when the army's in one doing yeah yeah. Yeah. Like you have to juggle.
Like if my dad went up there,
he'd be like,
I can see a magician.
Yeah.
You're the only one.
Because don't mention it.
If anybody asks,
say Army.
Say we said Army.
Yeah.
But get into it.
Get into magic.
Kyle Yarber.
Aaron incorrectly identified
Notre Dame as the first
to perform a forward pass in a game.
That's such a funny comment.
I mean, he didn't provide any other details.
It was literally just Aaron was wrong about this.
I think he provided a screenshot where he Wikipedia'd it.
I think Notre Dame was the first team to really perfect it.
Yeah, well, that's what we're talking about.
But it wasn't the first game.
No, you said invented, I think, last week.
These comments seem to really be coming at Aaron here.
Yeah.
There's a lot more.
Well, listen.
Yeah, you bring the education to the table.
It's like, did Henry Ford invent the automobile?
No.
But did he?
I mean, yeah, kind of.
He's the first guy to really do anything good with it that's what we
are to the yeah henry ford probably killed a guy that invented the car well we're yeah isn't tesla
that's like tesla that whoever tesla is tell us the truth dusty what's going on i don't know but
i you know whoever invents a thing never really gets the credit you know somebody comes on goes
oh that's cool.
And then here's $10.
Get out of here.
And they whack you in the head.
Yeah.
They steal your idea.
Henry Ford, did he kill someone?
Aaron, go ahead.
He probably did.
Notre Dame, actually, a lot of Notre Dame's traditions are like that.
Play like a champion today, which I'm sure you've heard of, that sign.
We weren't the
first school to do that who did that it was oklahoma i believe they had a play like a champion
today sign yeah we took it and we made it iconic that's what we do yeah every good idea take it
make people's ideas and do better things with them yeah jokes like jokes yeah you don't have
to waste your time creating no why do that yeah you're marketing that's right. You don't have to waste your time creating. No, why do that? Yeah.
You're marketing.
That's right.
Yeah.
We don't create the product, but we will deliver it to the world.
Yeah.
Who did this so no one knows the four-pass school?
No, it was some very small school.
I can't remember the name of it.
It was SLU, St. Louis University.
That sounds all right. And they don't even have a team anymore.
So it's like, well, you know.
Yeah.
It's like if you steal the jokes from a comic who's died yeah who cares right but they
were still alive when they stole it well this is like two years later that's why they killed
themselves yeah we can't go back in time you know that's true we have to live in the present all
right uh maverick pitchfork, that's a real last name.
Even slew is like death in the past, right?
We slew you.
I don't think it is.
It's like past tense of sleigh.
You're saying that's the past tense of your last name?
Yeah, slew.
They were slewed.
They were slewed.
Oh, they were slewed.
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
All right.
What happened to them?
They were slewed.
Destined to be slewed with a name like that sounds better than slayed because what would you say they what happened they were slayed last
night they were slain slain yeah they were slain yeah oh that reminds me of remember 10 years when that family was Sloan? Yeah, I like that. It's like that.
Yeah.
Maverick Pitchfork.
Just saw Aaron in Tulsa.
I bet it's a real name.
Just saw Aaron in Tulsa. I thought it was hilarious when Aaron mentioned that he hosts a podcast with Nate Bargetti
and didn't even mention Briarpatch.
Well, I think it's hilarious that Maverick didn't even mention Dusty.
It's true. Well, I'm trying to sell
a shirt that says Aaron Land on it
and I said, has anybody heard of Baitland
and one person woos?
I'm not going to turn it around by going,
well, Brian Bates is on it.
Now have you heard of it?
You do the Hulk Hogan
and everybody's like, alright, okay.
I was trying to figure out what Briarpatch was. That's me. You do the Hulk Hogan, and everybody's like, all right, okay, okay.
I was trying to figure out what Briarpatch was.
That's me.
Okay.
Yeah.
He didn't even capitalize your name.
Yeah.
He's a longtime listener, so.
He did lay me out there.
Matt Lazari.
Dusty, with the best line of the episode,
grants are just scholarships for being poor.
Yeah.
It is.
It is true, though. Yeah. Yeah. It is true, though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, congratulations.
Yeah.
Like, all right, we know you can't help it.
Yeah.
Get in here.
I like it.
Yeah.
Yeah, that is nice.
And it's a good name, grants.
Like, a grant sounds good. I got like a half grant, you know, because I sent in my mom's W-2 or whatever.
And then they wanted my dad's.
And my dad, you know, he does better.
But my parents are divorced and my dad was not going to pay.
And I'm like, why do you want that?
He's not helping.
Yeah.
That's what my dad did to me.
My dad goes, all right, I'll pay for half of your tuition. If you get in,
you sign up, I'll pay for half. So I go, I went and got this Pell Grant that paid for half. And
I told my dad, I go, hey, I got half. He goes, all right, will you come up? Now that you've got
that grant, you come up with the other half of the remaining and then I'll pay that. So I was like,
oh, I just came up with half. You keep coming down on the money. Do you really want me going to college?
I mean, what's happening here?
Yeah.
You figure it out.
And then he saw through it.
He's like, well, that's not your money.
Yeah.
He should have said, I'll pay for it all if you finish it.
I'll reimburse you.
Yeah.
Well, he knew better.
He knows his son.
Yeah.
Angie.
Nate, who filmed a pilot based on his life, said about the bodyguard,
I just don't care about his life.
Show me the bodyguard stuff.
I don't want to listen to your phone calls with your wife while going to the grocery.
Solid point.
I mean, yeah. it makes sense
but I think it's like I want
it's when I want action
I just want the action
sitcoms are different
I'm not putting sadness in my
pilot that went nowhere
Carlin Holder
Nate would love to hear you talk about some of the people
that were in your community college classes with you.
I bet the money line that you had some funny interactions.
I don't remember.
My buddy, P, Jeremy, he went with me.
Deval State?
Yep.
Everybody feel P left jeremy his nickname's p uh just so if
anybody hasn't heard that let me say that uh i remember one time he was always very on time he
wanted to be on time and he was like p went to it's who i lived with me we lived in western
kentucky and all that uh but one time phil uh our buddy philip he's meeting at our house my house and we would drive to vol state
and so uh p's like tells phil philip he's like be there at this time and i mean if he would always
tell the story or no it's funny your car pulled into college. Oh, yeah.
I don't know why.
It's community college. All right.
This is funny to me.
Oh, we'd go to college.
We'd go hang out at my house after.
We'd eat tostina pizzas when we got home.
I mean, I love them.
And so Pete would always wear his watch upside down, like on the inside,
so he'd look at that.
And so he's like, we were leaving at 7.30 a.m.,
whatever, I'm making up the time.
And he goes, you got to be there at 7.30.
And so, I mean, P, it hits 7.30, and he goes,
Phillip's not here.
So we pull up my driveway and go to the stop sign,
which is the next house down.
And we see Phillip's car there.
And then P just goes, well, I told him 7.30 there and then p just goes well i told him 7 30 and then
just drove off wow yeah and left him and philip had to just laugh about it because it was just
i mean i was like telling p i was like he's right there though we just could wait one second he
goes no he's got to learn and then so he just philip drove on his own the whole way yep yep
i love it i kind of respect it, dude. Yeah.
He set the tone.
It's like the next week he would have been two minutes late.
Then the next week would have been five minutes late.
He saw it coming a mile away.
And yeah, so he set the tone.
This is when I would run shows in town.
It was always the battle of like, do we start on time or do we wait until people are there?
Yeah. of like do we start on time or do we wait until people are there yeah and it's like well if you don't start on time then the next time they're gonna they know it starts late and then they just
keep getting there later and later it's like we gotta just start on time yeah and respect it oh
you but with you're talking about with uh comedians open mics yeah yeah showing up yeah not like an
audience i mean you're waiting for an audience but it's like
we yeah we got to start even though it'll it'll be a better show in 15 minutes yeah we got to
start right now so people will know hey hey the show will start don't reward the late audience
exactly yeah i was doing a club though one time and and it was so low this was years ago the
attendance was so low and it was above a restaurant
that the club was like oh there's a table downstairs that has there's like 20 people
they have a reservation here at the club we're gonna wait till they're done eating to start the
show yeah because they would made up so much of the audience yeah and it was like that's when you
feel pretty unimportant. Yeah.
They're finishing up their meal, so we'll wait.
And it's just like whoever.
Yeah.
You're like, oh, is that the mayor?
You're like, no, no, we don't even really know who he is. Yeah.
But he's got a lot of people.
They have 20 tickets.
They have 20 tickets.
And that's going to make a big difference in this show.
Yeah.
And they know they won't start.
Yeah, that's interesting.
I tried running one open mic.
It was the worst one in town at the-
The hotel?
Yeah, I can't even think of the name.
Maxwell House.
Yeah, Maxwell House Hotel.
Dusty came maybe once.
Oh, I did come, yeah.
I think Dad did.
Did I do it?
Your dad did it.
Yeah.
You stopped in once just to look at it.
He walked in, looked around.
I'll see you later, man.
Yeah, it was just me and brian
and there was always more comics than people in the audience but we did a show once and there
was nobody there so we were done like after 50 minutes and then this group of people came walking
in they're like oh we're just here for the show and you guys are done so they sat down and we just did it again yeah
everybody just started over we all did our sets again this time for an actual audience oh that's
fun yeah yeah that's like a rehearsal yeah and then do the show yeah everybody bring everybody
do the same material they bring it you bring it more yeah we didn't bring it much the first time. Alex Karnick, funner is not a word.
I say funner.
I probably say it all the time.
Yeah, I don't think it's bad.
I'm looking it up now.
There are lots of historical examples of people using the word funner or funnest.
Well, I think it's interesting that people that people like who decides what a word is
well i googled is funner a word and the things i read said yes i mean who decides if you if people
are saying it then it's a word yeah but it's if it sounds it's like it it does sound like it's not
a word it sounds like saying you know pac Pacific instead of specific.
Well, that's just completely incorrect.
Supposedly instead of supposedly.
But Pacific is still a word.
I don't think those are good examples.
I think they're pretty good examples where it's like, yeah, it just sounds bad.
It sounds like saying schmanana instead of banana.
Oh, yeah, I guess that is the same.
Like strategery, a word that you say at first funny and then it just becomes a real word?
Strategery is a good example, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that's not a real word at all.
But over time it might become.
Sometimes it's not more fun.
It's funner.
It's funner.
Oh, interesting.
You know what I mean?
This is funner.
It's not more fun. Yeah. More fun than what? This is funner. Oh, interesting. You know what I mean? This is funner. It's not more fun.
It's funner than more fun.
Yeah.
More fun than what?
This is funner.
Yeah.
You having more fun?
I'm having a lot more funner.
Yeah, if you mean this is funner, then yeah.
Yeah.
I am having more fun.
Here's what Merriam-Webster says.
The fact that funner and funnest exist does not mean that you should use them
without expecting that it will strike some people as peculiar.
Name Alex Karnick.
Yeah.
So this is exactly.
Alex does not care for it.
It struck him as peculiar.
Yeah.
He sat there.
He put his pipe down and goes.
Wait a second.
Yeah.
His glasses down.
His monocle.
Yeah.
His monocle. He's like, Beth he's like uh bethany come here he
called his wife in they did they rewind the record player he somehow has this podcast on a record
on vinyl i don't know how but alex is crushing and then he goes sit with me for a second because did they just say funner that's not i found that word peculiar
is that how you say peculiar peculiar yeah that's peculiar if you write them in a term paper expect
to receive disappointed size and underlined corrections in equal measure from your teacher
this is an interesting thing they're saying look is right, but it sounds like it's wrong,
so just pretend it's wrong.
Well, that's how we got where we're at.
Living in a world of make-believes out here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just don't cause trouble.
Just do what it, just do what, that's like,
that'd be a teacher that just is like, just do what it says on the paper.
I don't care.
Yeah.
And if you went and said, but it says in this that we can use that word they'd be like i don't know
and they're like listen you can but people will think it's peculiar and don't tell them you took
my class yeah and don't and you go all right well i'm not having any more fun anymore. This is not my funnest class.
Yeah, yeah.
I wish you were funner.
That's what I would say.
Yeah, yeah.
I wish you were funner.
Okay, that's enough.
Ezra Lerner.
With college football season here, I was curious which parts of Tennessee,
roughly, root for Vandy versus UT versus Memphis,
in addition to three schools, home cities.
What?
I think he means – addition is not the right word there.
I think he means like regarding like Tennessee –
I mean Nashville, Memphis, Knoxville.
Yeah.
Well, Tennessee is probably the most.
By far.
By far.
Yeah, for sure.
And then I would say Vandy's second.
Over Memphis?
Yeah.
But I don't – I would think so.
Yeah.
I went to – I grew up a Vandy fan.
I couldn't get into Vandy because of the money or the grades.
So I went to MTSU, had a great time.
I want to mention this shirt.
Some folks run Lightning's Locker Room, the bookstore at MTSU.
They sent me this shirt about two years ago.
And so they probably either don't work there or stopped listening to the podcast.
But I want to thank them for sending this to us.
But everyone at MTSU when I was in college was a Tennessee Vols fan.
It drove me crazy.
I'm very supportive of whoever the home team is.
I'm like, come on, guys, we're MTSU.
And they're like, nah, we're Tennessee fans.
They would wear Tennessee stuff.
So growing up, I was just a Vandy fan, and I was the only one because I didn't know Nate at the time.
Then I went to MTSU.
Everybody's still a Tennessee fan because that's when they were really good.
I was there when –
Late 80s.
Yeah.
82, 84, solid season.
Yeah.
Yeah.
82 to 84.
Exactly.
When I was dating a lot.
Yeah.
Now, I was there right before Peyton, when Tennessee was really good.
Heath Shuler, remember him?
Yes.
Yeah.
Johnny Majors.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, who was, I know Vol State had a serial killer.
Did anybody else famous come from Vol State?
I Googled famous people from Vol State and just had your picture.
Does it?
Does it really?
Yeah.
Well, not just you, but.
I don't know.
My buddies all, I mean, a lot of them played baseball.
Their baseball team was very good.
I think Billy Wayne Davis played Vol State, didn't he?
Baseball?
Yeah.
What is this, a student?
Yeah.
I mean, it isn't even.
Where did you see me?
I wasn't Wikipedia.
It was just famous people from Vol State.
Under images.
Oh, maybe.
Famous people.
Well, wasn't there one that just said famous people who attended Vol State?
Right there?
Where?
The one in the middle.
No, this was community college.
Did you know that, Brian?
No. I can't read. No, this is community college. Did you know I write, Brian?
No, I can't read.
Well, I found it.
Oh, okay.
Who was the most- Dolly Parton.
She went to a community college, it looks like.
Maybe not.
No.
I don't know if she did.
A lot of famous people did go to community college.
I looked that up.
Yeah, I would imagine.
Yeah, because that doesn't work out, and then you're like,
well, I'll try something else, and then fame works out.
Yeah, you could almost say most.
I wonder if there's more famous people that went to no college
or community college.
I would think so.
Because you've got to go whatever you're trying to do to become successful.
You've got to start it soon.
We say most famous people are actors.
Yeah.
Or athletes.
The highest concentration, yeah.
Yeah, but you wouldn't count athletes because a lot of them go to college to play.
Yeah, but a lot of them, baseball, right after high school, a lot of them don't go to college
at all.
Yeah, but I would imagine way more go to college probably and uh these actors never go to school though
yeah so they don't even go to school when they're kids basically well ruth went to stanford and she
has a uh yearbook which we never had in college but her freshman year yearbook in her freshman
class was she was i was flipping through it Tiger Woods
Reese Witherspoon
Fred Savage
the kid from
Who's the Boss
can't remember his name
the guy from
the show This Is Us
it's like a who's who
of
wow
just people in her
freshman class
wow
that's amazing
so maybe they do
Danny Pinturo
yeah
Danny Pinturo
either Harold or Kumar I think it's Kumar oh okay Wow. That's amazing. So maybe they do. I don't know. Danny Pinturo. Yeah. Danny Pinturo.
Either Harold or Kumar.
I think it's Kumar.
Oh, okay.
One of those guys.
Yeah.
Wow.
All right.
Big time.
So this is our first announced we were going to announce to you, part two.
I think so.
Did people like the part one? Yeah, they loved it. I think so. Did people like part one?
Yeah, they loved it.
They loved it.
They liked your gap year take.
All right.
They liked you taking up for the common man.
That's what we're here to do.
We're the common man.
Well, they didn't say you were,
but they appreciate you
taking up for them.
I'm the common man.
The greatest average American.
The greatest average American.
Yeah.
That's what, I don't know what else to tell you.
Really great John Conley song, too, by the way.
Common Man.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know that one.
It's the best.
I got to name my new special, and I don't know what to name it.
Oh, that's fun.
Didn't your greatest average American came from a riff on this podcast, right?
Yeah. I've said it, American came from a riff on this podcast, right? Yeah.
I've said it.
Yeah.
But it was on this.
I've said it before.
Like, just like I've always like jokingly said it, but it came from this podcast.
Ooh.
So, but it's like, I like the, like the, you know, before it was like the Tennessee kid.
It's the greatest average American.
So it's like, it's almost like it's, I'm not doing it from a joke from my special,
but it's like describing like, oh, this is who we're watching.
Right.
And that's what I like.
So you went from Tennessee to America.
You got to go world this time.
Or at least continent.
Yeah.
At least, yeah, North America.
North America's funniest dude.
North America's, yeah.
The funner dude. The funner dude. The most funner. One of the funner dudes in North America. North America's funniest dude. North America's. It gets, yeah.
The funner dude.
The funner dude.
The most funner.
One of the funner dudes in North America.
Yeah, yeah.
But it, yeah, I feel like it's got a, yeah, I don't know.
It's hard.
It's kind of a fun problem, though.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
To think of, yeah. What's a name you're special?
I don't know.
Yeah, Aaron.
A lot worse to have a bunch of names and no specials.
Yeah.
I can name them.
You don't know what problems are.
You think you got it hard.
I wish I had your life.
I didn't have to worry about where my special's going to go,
my third hour special, Aaron.
God, I didn't have to name it if I was just sitting like you.
Just easy breezy, no specials on the books.
Not a care in the world over there.
God, that'd be nice and easy.
Yeah.
But yeah, it's got to be the Tennessee Kid.
Yeah, I mean, I like both of them.
But it's got to be, you know, it's like along those lines.
I don't want it to be exactly that.
So I don't know.
Maybe someone has an idea.
Yeah.
I'm sure we'll get some ideas in the comments.
But you got to think, the Tennessee kid, the greatest average American.
I don't want to be arrogant.
You know, it's like, the greatest average American is funny to say that.
But I don't necessarily want to go down that road again.
Exactly that.
Yeah.
You know, so something along those.
I've been around the county.
Yeah.
You know.
Maybe scale it down.
Go backwards.
The county fair.
Yeah.
The king of the county fair.
That would be, feels like a U title.
Yeah.
Explorer of the county.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I remember the Tennessee kid.
We were just really looking at names.
And before then, I don't think I knew any specials that didn't have some reference to a joke in it.
So every name, at least I was coming up with, was some reference to one of your jokes.
Yeah, I thought about that.
But it's like I haven't done it, so I kind of don't want to.
And I like it just being maybe it's the state of mind or it's the whatever it is.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
All your titles have been great.
I mean, Yelled At By A Clown and that photo.
That's a good one, yeah.
It was so great.
Yeah.
Those were from the jokes, Full Time Magic.
Full Time Magic, yeah. It was so great. Yeah. Those were from the jokes, full-time magic. Full-time magic, yeah.
Those are both from the jokes.
But then it was like when Netflix was good at switching with,
they're trying to make someone click on it.
They won't know what they're –
So it's like, all right, why am I clicking this?
It's Tennessee kids like, okay, it's a guy from Tennessee, whatever.
The Greatest Average American is –
it kind of says it in the title what it is.
What you're like, oh, you can kind of guess what it's going to be about.
And so that's what this would be.
It's great for SEO, too.
If you type in Tennessee comedian, it's like, it's you and nobody else.
For what?
SEO?
Search engine optimization, yeah.
Computer speak.
Yeah.
Who says that? Do people say that? SEO is a pretty common one, yeah. Computer speak. Yeah. Who says that?
Do people say that?
SEO is a pretty common one, yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Common among a circle of people, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not in those circles.
Are you in those circles anymore?
A lot of my friends are not SEO.
I think so.
People are saying SEO in your world now.
SEO is important in our world, in our industry.
SEO is important.
Yeah. If I type in, I want to come up on Google. I want to rank pretty high. SEO is important for like in our world, in our industry. SEO is important, you know?
Yeah.
If I type in, I want to come up on Google. I want to rank pretty high on Google.
Well, you type in Tennessee Comedian, see who comes up.
Well, yeah, let's do Tennessee Comedian.
I bet it's five pages of Nate and then maybe Dusty.
I'd just like to see if I even come up at all.
I hope it's me.
Please let it be me.
Yeah.
I mean, you literally come up on the right.
Yeah.
Nate Bargetzi, American comedian.
Got the whole state.
American comedian.
It's all Nate.
What if I'm just that?
I'm the American comedian.
That's the title, American comedian.
And they go, what's it about?
You go, he's an American comedian.
Yeah, your SEO is crushing it.
There you go.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I'm getting into it. Yeah. Yeah, just call is crushing it. There you go. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm getting into it.
Yeah, just call it SEO.
SEO.
Call it.
Yeah, yeah.
You'll be number one everywhere.
I've heard Andrew Santino saying up, I guess, he tried to name his first album Taylor Swift.
Yeah.
But they wouldn't let him do it.
But he wanted it just to be Taylor Swift, so when people Googled Taylor Swift, his album would come up.
Yeah.
I feel like he would still get
drowned in the search results for
Taylor Swift, though. Probably.
Yeah. That's how I think
Barenaked Ladies, that's why they named themselves
that. So they would put that
on a billboard just to get people
to come in. Oh, yeah.
Barenaked Ladies tonight at the bar.
I think with all that stuff, though,
you still have to have
an act yeah sure it's a bunch of disappointed people it's that's i always have a weird
bounce this is a weird bounce that you do want people to do it but it's like if anything starts
feeling like a trick then kind of back out and then go do another thing that's what i believe
yeah because it's like you don't you can get a road down to tricks where you're just and then you're only thinking of like kind of like how can i get people to come
to this and then and then you're whatever you're creating starts creating for that and well then
now you're creating now you're you you've messed your own self up right because now you're only
going down this path of going trying to get views that's why like uh i understand like you want views and you want videos and all this but like your mind can't just
completely go to that because then it's like you're yeah because if it's clickbait and then
the video's not good you've just tricked people into watching a bad thing and now they're mad
about it yeah they've been tricked yeah but sometimes because the clickbait can be good i mean look that mr beast like they said he does clickbait but he actually does it and so that's
different because it's like he's doing something that it looks like a clickbait but then you watch
him do the thing that is but i mean i'm just saying like creating i was thinking of it as
comedy is it's not that you you need to be aware of that you need to do stuff
that like that but uh you know like dane cook did it like my space he was just everywhere but he just
put his videos up and was everywhere it's like it's not like you don't i'm saying don't put
videos it's just it's the creating of the material you got to think of your if your mind is creative
so you're going to be able to create wherever you go and you just don't want to spend all that because that becomes, I think you're chasing views and then you're like, and then you just end up down this road and then you're like, all right, you're not where, I mean, unless you want to do that, do that.
But it's a slippery slope, I think.
Yeah, you want people to watch because they like what you're doing.
Yeah.
Not because they were searching for Taylor Swift and found your album.
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, I don't know.
That's what I mean.
I was going to name mine Katy Perry.
Yeah.
I think it was mostly just a joke.
Yeah, yeah.
I think Santino's great.
I'm not upset with him.
No, I'm not talking about that. I'm not talking about Santino. I think he's – no, Santino's great. Yeah, I'm not upset with him. No, I'm not talking about that.
I'm not talking about Santino because I think he was joking.
But it's – I'm just saying in general, I think it's – that gets –
I think it's, I don't know, short-sighted of your career.
Not you, but in general.
I think people that go that way can be very short-sighted.
I mean, it's a fix.
It's a high.
You're going like, wow, this one's got a bunch of views,
and then you're chasing those views.
And then you're creating stuff for your stuff you create is to make someone
just look at it for a second and scroll by.
Well, now there's too much of that.
So no one's really grasping onto that.
If you have an act, though, I i mean if you're going to do it at least and you can get people in the door that act better be something yeah
and then you then it then it could work but i think a lot of people don't have an act they do
they get that and they go see them live it's like well this is not what i wanted and you know i don't
know sometimes i think people don't even know what they want though and then they just want the picture if someone's famous on the internet they'll sit through
whatever just for the picture so they can post it on the internet and get their likes for being
with a person that's famous on the internet oh yeah you know yeah well there's a lot more
commentary about famous people now i feel like than about then famous people like it's
there that that field is there's a lot of like i mean you look at everything meet with all media
it's like the media is so big now and all it is is about talking about people that are actually
doing things so it's like it was almost like people that want to go up and be you know there's
going to be journalists that want to be
true journalists and i understand that but it's like in general like the you know somewhat the
mainstreamish kind of thing is like well we're all just like want to you almost like it's easier to
go what's easier for me just to talk about famous people because everybody wants to hear like
someone's opinion on something so that's a much easier route to take.
And then you can become famous.
That's the thing with SportsCenter.
SportsCenter was like, that's why it just got like, you're like, all right, these dudes are famous.
Yeah.
And they go do an interview.
Well, the energy is different.
Because now they don't feel like they're interviewing an athlete.
It feels like they're just being like, I'm more famous than you are. And you are and then you're like well i don't even then who cares about your opinion
like you're not giving this guy's uh like going on morning radio or something and like sometimes
people are really great and other other times it feels like the radio host is like trying to out
funny you yeah or and it's like i'm just here to try to promote a show.
I'm not trying to take your job.
Just chill.
Let me be funny for a second.
I did one of the first radio interviews I did.
The guy just goes,
all right.
So what comedians do you hate?
I don't,
I like everybody,
man.
Yeah.
I don't want to just trash somebody.
Yeah.
That I could maybe meet one day.
Yeah. Well, it's, it's very negative yeah yeah and it's you're you know i get it i like i mean i guess yeah i don't know
that's like just straight up like look i'm just trying to get yeah i'm just get something his own
click something right yeah aaron weber hates these comedians. Yeah. But that's what I mean. And if you go that route, that's where
it ends up. Everything has to be...
You just get
to a point where you bluntly ask...
You know, you're like, I'm not going to...
Like Howard Stern was, I feel like, very
good at that. It's different
now, but when he was doing interviews
and when it was like a while ago,
he was very good at
getting the headlines but
he would get it in a normal way it's like he would interview and then he would talk about
something crazy with the celebrity and he'd go back out not talk that crazy then he would act
like the interview's over yeah and then he goes we got to wrap it you know and then that's when
more crazy would come but it was like that was that's like where it should be done and now
But it was like that was – that's like where it should be done.
And now there's a lot of bluntness now with social media, with internet.
There's just like I want – look at all the videos of just trying to get reactions or like the guy – isn't there a guy that goes up and like hits people or something?
There's all kinds of those guys.
Like that kind of thing.
Those pranksters.
Those pranksters where they're like, no, there's a camera.
You're just going up and hitting people.
Like we've gotten to that point.
We used to have prank shows to now it's like, well,
let's physically assault someone.
And then if they go try to fight me, I act like they're crazy.
Yeah.
Because I'm filming it.
Yeah.
There's a guy that goes up and like makes weird noises in people's ears in
the store.
Yeah.
I like it.
Yeah.
It's so weird.
I mean, that's not even
you're you're rewarding uh just arrogance like the arrogance that you someone will go do that
and be like i'm crazy and that you know eventually we're always going to start watching people
jumping off cliffs you can watch people i'm gonna set myself on fire and and die and you're like
all right like i mean what are we doing doing? There's no entertainment at all.
It's just kind of like the shock value.
That's the whole idiocracy thing.
That movie where you get to that place where it's like you're just sitting in a chair
and just watching the dumbest.
I mean, we're there.
Oh, we're at that point.
But luckily, that's why I think when you go out and you have an act,
the country is not like this everybody's everybody's a normal person every city and state
i go i can't go to anymore i don't want to go to alaska like i mean but it's like i've been to so
many for 10 years and all these people and they're all different political views different whatever
everybody just wants to have a good time and laugh and then move on.
That's it.
No one needs to be, I don't need to be in, like,
they're not coming to me to be like, what moves should I make or whatever.
It's like, I can't tell you what to do.
Like, I don't even know what I'm doing half the time.
But it's gotten to that level, you know, where it's like, I don't know.
People are making like 10-second videos.
And you're like, well, I don't want to wait.
They don't want to waste their time.
So if I'm setting up a prank show, I don't want to go.
You know, it's a long thing.
If you watch the old prank shows, I mean, it's probably a very long day.
It's like, well, I don't want to do that.
What can I do?
Well, I'll just go hit someone in the face.
I can go do 12 of those today.
And then I'm going to get a bunch of views that's a season right
that's a season took you how long did it take 18 minutes even when tiktok went from one minute to
three minutes i was like i don't have time for this yeah i mean i mean people are just singing
songs they're lip singing or they're doing the comedy bits on the like i mean there's actually no incentive to create something
really it's just like find something you like that someone created and i mean even the world
of creation uh music you know i mean music getting written by who knows what like but all the guys
that there's people writing these songs and they're just like they go give it to who this
person that person sings it and it's like oh it's emotional and you go give it to this person. That person sings it. And it's like, oh, it's emotional.
And you're like, I mean, someone –
it's emotional because a regular person wrote that.
Someone that's not famous and lived –
that's why the song is so good.
And they've really tuned in on how to make it sound emotional.
Yes.
And then they go and then they just find –
it's like they find a robot that's like, well, here's this person.
You're like, all right, you sing that.
And I mean, those are the songs I like. I'm not better than these p like you know i get it it's like i get
i'm entrapped in all this kind of stuff but you see it to where you got to go you want to start
that's right i've really originality is like the older i've gotten and i've it's been i've been
doing that for a while it's like you just want someone that's like original yeah and i know it's
like well hitting a guy in the face is original.
You're like, but that, I mean, it's not.
It's, you know, if you don't have the time to go, I don't know, do something.
There was a Justin Bieber song one time that was pretty popular.
And it was like something like, my mama don't like you and she likes everyone.
And it's like it had this real acoustic kind of vibe to it.
And it felt like, but it's like, listen to that. like i don't even think about justin bieber having a mom
much less his mom meeting his girlfriend do you know what i mean like he obviously has a mom
right but it's like he's just such a uh a musical machine that's been out for so long that it's like
listening i'm like i don't even think about it's not believable to me that Justin Bieber
is introducing this girl to his mom
and his mom doesn't like him.
You haven't humanized him enough in your mind
to imagine his family.
Right, exactly.
I mean, this could be on me,
but I'm just saying when I listen,
it just seems emotionless.
It seems like they've manufactured soul
to go into songs to where you're like,
it doesn't really have soul to it, but it feels like it has soul.
Yeah.
I think you need to see Bieber live, dude.
Yeah.
You're going to feel that soul.
Okay.
I bet it's awesome.
Yeah.
I saw at the Grammy.
This is not just about Justin Bieber.
I mean, in general.
It's general.
Yeah.
Look, there's enjoyment is enjoyment.
Right.
I'm going to enjoy this stuff.
That's why you're going to enjoy it.
You can go to Disney World.
You can go eat candy.
These things are obviously enjoyable.
I like them.
And Justin Bieber would be technically a phenom in that world of like if you're going to write stuff and give it to someone, well, you magically found a person that's perfect for it.
And that's why his career has lasted as long as it's lasted.
Justin Timberlake.
These people can, I'm not saying that, I don't know.
They might write all their songs.
I have no idea.
I don't even listen to words of songs.
So I like a lot of songs that are just kind of fun.
I don't need, I don't take in songs like that just because I'm an idiot.
There's a class this year at the University of Texas, college, call back there, studying Taylor Swift songs.
That's what the class is.
Wow.
Looking at her songs.
College seems great.
Yeah, I mean, what is that about?
I think it might be like some type of literature, poetry class, and they're analyzing. I saw a picture of, you might scroll down, it might be like some type of literature poetry class,
and they're analyzing.
I saw a picture of, you might scroll down,
it might be in that article.
I can't remember.
There's, I think, one guy in there.
But yeah, Swifty Professor.
I would take that class.
Yeah, I would too, because I could pass it.
I mean, you would just sing the songs.
The class will focus mostly on songs from Swift's recent albums,
but students are free to bring up older songs for discussion.
The Bob Dylan of our time.
Well, this is a nice little detail.
With most of the lyrics posted online and the songs available on Spotify,
students don't have to buy music for the class.
Oh, that's nice.
You don't have to buy textbooks or anything.
All the literature is out there, you know.
It'll address topics such as gender, fans influence.
Well, you could argue, I mean, it is equally ridiculous to focus a class around the poetry of Shakespeare as it is, you know, the poetry of Taylor Swift.
I mean, who are we to say that's true?
I disagree, though.
Why is that? Well, I don't know. Shakespeare is older. Yeah, I mean. He stood the poetry of Taylor Swift. I mean, who are we to say that? That's true. I disagree, though. Why is that?
Well, I don't know.
Shakespeare is older.
Yeah, I mean.
He stood the test of time.
Yeah, I mean, look.
Shakespeare wrote that stuff on his own.
Does Taylor write?
She writes her own stuff.
I mean, look, the way songwriting works now
is it's very collaborative with a lot of people.
I would almost say in a class, it would,
yeah, I don't know if it's a study of
the fascination of her like you know maybe that like it's like how she's gotten so big i'm not
you know i like taylor swift i like to along says she writes her own music and lyrics and
they can use similar techniques from classic poetry yeah it's emmettism that's a it's
a very younger thing to do as an older as getting older and i've listened and uh you know i watch
like something led zeppelin like are the you know it's like i just start going back to those stuff
and i don't know everything about that or knowing derrick trucks and seeing you know tedeschi and
trucks and what they do yeah and you're like're like, it's different. It's they, they're doing something that's way.
That's like,
uh,
art artistic is different.
And I,
I like those.
I know.
I,
I,
I like,
I'm not hating on Taylor Swift.
Yeah.
She writes her own songs.
I'm a giant Taylor Swift fan.
I,
uh,
I can sing a lot of her songs.
I like the song,
shake it off.
I think that one's a lot of fun.
I wouldn't be against this class.
I wouldn't have guessed. I wouldn't have guessed. Shake it off. I think is the's a lot of fun. I wouldn't be against this class. I wouldn't have guessed it.
Shake It Off, I think, is the only one that I really like,
but I do like it.
It would be, if you're studying art,
it's not about celebrity or fame.
It's like, I don't know.
But see, that's what I mean.
This class is even, this is what I'm talking,
like this class is just talking about someone
that created something.
And then like, instead of like.
Maybe at the end you have to write your own song.
Yeah, it would be like, there's no.
I like that.
And then you submit to Taylor Swift and if she covers it, then you pass.
Yeah.
Otherwise you fail.
It's like, I think it's like, what are you going to do with this?
Well, I think it's about examining a creative person, examining how they do what they do,
and then learning about their process.
And then ideally, you apply those things to create your own stuff.
What's that bottom sentence?
I say her goal is, self-described Swift fan, and said her goal is to teach literary traditions through a contemporary lens.
She says, I want to take what Swift fans can already do at a sophisticated level,
tease it out for a bit with a different vocabulary,
and show them how, in fact, Swift draws on richer literary traditions
in her songwriting, both topically but also formally,
in terms of how she uses references,
metaphors, and clever manipulations of words.
Yeah.
I think comedian would be better.
A comedian?
You could do this too.
Well, hey, look, they do a Nate Bargetzi class.
I'll defend it. They do a Nate Bargetzi class at Vanderbilt?
I mean, how awesome would that be?
I'll defend it all day long.
Yeah, of course.
We are out of your mind.
I'll flip-flop in a heartbeat.
But comedians, our words are way more important.
I think the words in a song are pretty important, too.
Words are all that matter.
I don't even know the words of songs.
I have no, like, I can sing the songs of the words,
and I couldn't tell you.
Now, it could be because mentally something is
wildly wrong with me but I can sing all these Taylor Swift songs I don't know what they're
about they don't soak in on me and I love it and that's and that's not Taylor Swift that's
Stairway to Heaven I don't know what this stuff is about I don't and I can sing parts of it
November Rain I don't I just it does not I don't think of it can sing parts of it. November Rain. I don't, I just, it does not, I don't think of it like that.
I'm just like enjoying the sound.
But would you enjoy the song as much if instead of lyrics,
it was just her going la, la, la, la, la, la in the same melody?
Some songs I like just do that.
They go, I don't know.
There's some new songs.
You're like, they're not even saying words.
Yeah, there's some Beatles songs out there that are like that, where they're like almost don not even saying word yeah there's some beatles songs
out there that are like that where they're like almost don't even really say anything and it's
great but if they studied the beatles people went they went trash so i i do agree with your
if they if they shakespeare the beatles or i mean you know i i do understand that so i'm i'm not
against it because it's like you know if i'm older than Taylor Swift, you're like, well,
in 40 years of the Taylor Swift class, you might be like, well,
that's smart that they do that.
So I'm not trashing the idea of the class.
People coming up, that lady came up with an idea.
I just think mentally a lot of people are learning stuff and being,
you're learning and being trained to not it's like to talk about stuff
that's already been done instead of being like how do you it's like just do something i say this a
lot like when on our work like uh the stuff that we do not y'all but like with you know we're like
other with the people that work with us now because, you know, my sister and I.
But I'm talking about, like, just do it.
Like, there's a lot of, well, we could try that,
but I don't think this is going to work and that.
But you go, then just do it.
If you do it and then we see it doesn't work, then we have an answer.
But there's a lot of just talking.
You can talk yourself out of even trying because you go,
well, how's that even going to be possible if we go if we try to say we want to you know do these
crazy lights on the stage i think it'd be blind people in the eyes do we know it would blind
people in the eyes are you just saying i think it like blind people in the eyes then you know
these people need to suffer and i want the audience to go he's a blind and might we're
not doing this with any lights at all this is just i'm trying to think of example on the fly
but it's do it just do it and then that was the diet thing that i have to finally accept
well if i i can talk i'll tell you a million reasons why i don't want to do it or why i don't
just if you're not honest with yourself, just do it.
And if you do it, there's your answer.
Well, that's what's great about comedy is with comedy,
you go on stage and you know whether it's funny or not right away.
You don't need to study it.
You go up and you do it.
If they don't laugh, then it's not funny.
Yeah, it's the words.
That's what's fun about it because it's like
you're like now with my set because we're so close to taping it's like the set is there
and i'm messing with the little words here and there and i'm learning there's one part where i
would say stranger and now i say guy and guy works better and it's crazy yeah and it's uh it's crazy. Yeah. And it's just, Guy is funnier.
I say stranger one other part of my act too,
but I was saying it these other two spots,
and then I just changed it to Guy.
And it's at the end.
It's a joke that's not the closer, but it's the second to last joke.
And I say Guy now, and it just gets a, you know.
It is amazing.
I still got to mess with it a little bit.
What a one word or a little just a flip or adding a word, taking out a word, what it can do to a joke.
I mean, I've told jokes for a long time.
And then just change it up one time, not even really thinking about it, but I just change it up in a weird way.
And it gets a much bigger laugh.
And I'm like, oh, I've been doing this joke a different way for a long time.
And all it took was that little tweak.
Yeah.
It's awesome.
It opens everything up.
It's awesome, man.
Yeah.
I'm saying they should study comedians.
Yeah.
I agree.
Yeah, it is.
It's super fun.
Comedians in general.
The words matter so much.
I think there's no, I mean, I just think there's nothing to hide behind.
It's like all we have is our words.
So you have to paint it
and everywhere it has to perfectly be placed you can't it's beautiful even like messing up your
timing in a show you can mess up one timing on a joke and then spend you know the next few minutes
like trying to get back on track from where you're like,
you know, I don't know. I've gone out and stumbled on a couple of jokes in the beginning and then be
like, oh man, I got to get it together. I got 59 minutes and 30 seconds to go here and I'm already
messing up. Yeah. Sometimes you got to just get out of that joke and just be like, that joke's
got over and started new. Here's a second joke. And then, and all that stuff's got to just get out of that joke and just be like, that joke's got over. Start anew. Here's a second joke.
And all that stuff's got to be on the fly, which is fun.
Many times I've gone, listen, that joke's not going anywhere.
Let's just settle in here.
Forget about it.
Move on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've done that too, where it's very fun to go there and you –
I'm trying to think.
I feel like I had something this weekend.
Or I'll forget if I said something to set something up properly and then i'm like i don't know if i set this up
i forgot one part that sets up the next part so it's a matter of am i going to repeat it or am i
going to not repeat it and you got to decide right then and then some of you are just like let me
just i'm gonna just not repeat it because maybe i said it and maybe people get it and maybe it doesn't get the laugh i know and i'm like i bet
i didn't say it but then i gotta just i gotta i gotta stay in the rhythm to get into the next joke
i've forgotten a joke midway through and been like we'll come back to it and then i try to
remember it and then later in the set come back to it sometimes that's gold other time tell the
audience that yeah yeah and other times i'll come back to it and do it and other time you tell the audience that yeah yeah and other times
i'll come back to it and do it and then i go was it worth it yeah maybe that's like one of those
things yeah exactly that that stuff always work or it doesn't always work but it is it's great
when you can do it but that's like uh that's another one you like people you can start to
see comics they build that stuff into their act yeah and then you're like well that's not good
right don't build it into your act.
Yeah, don't fake it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What are you doing there, bud?
Sorry.
I think I broke something.
You got bored?
But I didn't.
It's all good.
Just making loud noises.
Just making loud noises attached to the mic.
I apologize.
Yeah, yeah.
That's all right.
Went to college.
Go ahead.
So the big thing that happened the day this college episode came out
was the tuition forgiveness that happened this past week.
So I looked up.
Might credit the podcast.
Maybe so.
For making that change.
We got the ball rolling.
We got the ball rolling.
Yeah.
And with that Pell Grant, you get even more.
So congratulations, buddy.
Maybe I can get some of that.
Wait, he gets paid back from a Pell Grant?
Doesn't Pell Grant do that?
Do you have student loans right now?
No.
I was just being
No.
That cost me 500 bucks
20 years ago.
Yeah.
I don't know how
you had it financed.
I don't even know.
How do you get a Pell Grant?
You just call
the Pell Grant office?
I don't remember what I did
but you submitted.
Pell Grant office.
Hello.
Hello Mr. Grant.
It's Pell Grant.
Mr. Pell.
Hello.
Is this Pell?
It's Nate Bargetzi.
I'd like to go to a volunteer state, and I was told I need one of your grants.
And he goes, I grant it.
Thank you.
No money.
He just grants it.
I would like your grant that I want to try college.
He goes, I grant it.
I want to try college.
Then you just tell the college.
They go, all right, we'll take this money off.
I go, I called Pell. He granted me. He said you just tell the college. They go, all right, we'll take this money off. I go, I called Pell.
He granted me.
He said I could do it.
And they go, all right.
All right, we'll take it one more.
Get in there.
It's all in the honor system.
It's all in the honor system.
I even think tuition forgiveness, it sounds weird.
It's like, we forgive you.
I know.
For the mistakes you made.
Yeah.
We were talking about it the other night.
And then it was like, what if you did uh instead of instead of uh student
loan debt it was like get rid of people's medical debt much better much better right yeah and then
uh it's uh like if you did that that would be that'd be much it's like i would i feel better
about that because you're like a lot of people that's not it's like stuff happens to people and
they don't choose it and if someone was like well i live healthy why would like, a lot of people, that's not – it's like stuff happens to people and they don't choose it.
And if someone was like, well, I live healthy.
Why would I do it?
I'd be like, that's my same theory with college.
Like I made it without college, so why am I paying for your college?
Right.
It's the same kind of idea.
And at least you're helping people that really – I mean, medical debt, dude.
People, it's nuts.
Totally.
They get just bombarded and bombarded.
But you can make the same argument that these student loans are predatory in the same way.
They're predatory in the same way, but the predatory, I'd imagine, in student loans attacks people that are going to make more of a living.
You'd hope so.
You'd hope so, but a lot of them don't.
With medical.
But I mean, if people are going to Stanford, if you go into all this stuff, you have these
crazy loans.
Well, those people are.
People are going, college is at least a positive thing.
Medical stuff can be like, it's just the world was very unfair to you.
And you go to that.
And you got handled a bad situation.
And so then you just are in debt to a hospital.
Right.
And you have no choice.
College is still a choice.
You still get to choose.
You don't get to choose if you get hit by a car.
So that person should not be, like, go help those people out.
And then you want to, it's like, those are the people that need the actual, like, I think people would get behind that.
Yeah.
To be like, if that money's going to helping these families, you know, then like, you know, that are like their kids get, you know, you have all this, these children hospitals and all this stuff.
And you're like, those things do benefits and those do, you have to raise money on stuff.
You're like, why is money not going to that?
Like, who doesn't want to go help these kids that are born with this stuff?
Like everybody wants to go.
So send the money to that.
that are born with this stuff.
Everybody wants to.
So send the money to that.
You want me to go send it to the guy that's voting,
the guy that I've got to pay his student loan debt that's in the government?
Yeah.
That guy, you're like, he's like,
I think you should do student loan debt.
You're like, that's for you and your kids?
And you're like, he's like, yeah, isn't that better?
And you go, but what about,
that guy was hit by a bowling ball weird.
Should have been staying in there.
He goes, well, why was he in a situation with a bowling ball?
I go, because poor people are around bowling balls more.
Poor people are in bowling alleys.
They're way more around bowling balls.
Yeah, for sure.
Less income, the more you're around a bowling ball.
Isn't it interesting?
My mom was on a bowling league.
The wealthier you get, the smaller the bowling ball. That's true. Isn't it interesting? My mom was on a bowling league. The wealthier you get, the smaller the ball is.
That's interesting.
Golf?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like golf.
That's true.
The ball's pretty small.
Yeah.
The poor people, beach balls.
Yeah.
That's all they got.
Beach balls, bowling balls.
Jump castles.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That feels like a ball.
Yeah.
It's inflatable.
Yeah, you go, go the rich the wealthy
lives in a castle the poor theirs is always inflatable get to go to a friend's house who
has a jump castle yeah yeah yeah that's true but with doctor stuff you know you go to the doctor
accidents and because you're like well you're never going to be able to afford to fly
so we will give you the opportunity to visit it for a couple seconds.
Two seconds.
You got to come back down.
No pads in the springs.
How many times over?
A hundred times over.
Yeah.
But if you mess up, you will go to the hospital and owe money
for the rest of your life to this hospital.
There you go.
There you go.
They give you stuff that's going to hurt you worse.
Yeah.
That's true.
Because they know deep down.
Because they know deep down you're never going to get out of that.
I mean, these people have like, and I get like their diets are not good,
but then you're like, well, they don't have a fair chance.
Because if you don't have money, well, you don't get to go to a nice restaurant.
You have to go to these.
It's called food islands.
It's called food islands.
What's that?
When you're in an area that only has bad food and
and there's nothing good around you so you have no choice no whole foods you got a dollar general
no organic food in the grocery sends them more in into the where they have to go to the doctor
and hospital and stuff right you get trapped they get these medical bills you get trapped in cycles
so like why would you not go help medical stuff if people are on with this, I'll tell you who actually came up with it.
I didn't want to say it just in case people were like, no.
You might want to wait until next week and see how they take it.
No, Laura said it.
But someone else might have said this.
I don't know.
We were just talking about it.
Laura said, what if they did that?
She just said, what if?
And I was like, yeah, that does make sense.
Yeah, that would be nice.
That would be nice.
I would feel at least better knowing that.
I have student loans still, and I don't expect them to get paid off, and I'm fine.
But if they are forgiven, I mean, I'll take it for sure.
Yeah, you would take it.
But it's like, I'd rather you not get that.
Because it's like, you're going to probably be able to pay off.
I don't feel like I deserve to have them paid off or anything.
But if Biden wants to give me $10 i'll take i'll take it yeah i'll
take it i'll take it too i mean i don't have any loans but you could throw that it's not too late
take one out now yeah and then you'll get forgiven yeah is that right i don't know what about for
trade school i called do they do they trade school I learned to weld. I called one of those services just to let me figure out if I even got any.
And the lady was like, we're real busy right now.
And I go, can you look into my – I gave her my social security number.
And she's like, I don't know, man.
You want to just try back next week?
She was so overwhelmed.
She was like, your stuff's not coming up.
It sounded like chaos over there yeah at turbo tax no
at the student aid office or whatever at notre dame no at the the federal government oh where
my loans are through she was like i don't know man yeah i go yeah i'd be fun to be a president you get to say
stuff that like just calls this complete case just do it just everybody and he goes like if you get
to the level like i want to be president just to you know be like uh and she's like you know what
i don't want no more mosquitoes goodbye and then people are just like i don't and then everybody's
calling like a mosquito office side yes are y'all gonna really do that he goes I don't know. And then everybody's calling like a mosquito office. Spectracide.
Yes, spectracide.
Are y'all going to really do that?
He goes, I don't know.
We've been trying for years to get rid of mosquitoes. It's hard.
Yeah.
It's hard.
You know, when JFK said, we're going to go to the moon by the end of this decade,
they knew like nothing about getting to the moon.
There was like no evidence that they were going to get there.
But he's like, we're going to do it.
Yeah.
So then everybody just scrambled and figured it out. And they still haven't figured it out yet. Well, I was going to get there but he's like we're gonna do it yeah so then everyone just scramble and they still haven't figured it out well i was gonna say it worked
because we're gonna do about in the decade they were like we could do it tomorrow
like we can do it whenever we have the video we have a studio set up and we're ready to go
i'll do it tomorrow done 10 years ago you ever seen uh some old movie i don't know but you do
that you just said you tell them,
figure it out.
So the lights,
like,
let's just try something.
Figure it out.
Go do something.
That's,
it's.
Yeah,
they're like,
first.
You need the answer.
Have the answer be known.
Let the answer be known.
With a camera crew.
And then they'll wait
for the actual landing to come.
And we'll film it.
Yeah.
There's a lot of talking.
That's what I'm,
there's,
we're in a world of just,
everybody talks about,
well,
they should do,
and then this,
and you're like,
well,
no one's life changed.
Yeah.
That's,
you know,
it's like,
I always think that
with charities sometimes,
like some charities,
you're just,
like it's going to this,
like,
where's it going?
And you want to have,
you know,
somebody like,
this goes to that person
and that person,
it changed.
And then you're like,
okay.
And then if people can see that then
it's like you can give you know it's like the charity and maybe that's what some i don't know
what all the charities but it's you want to directly impact some are transparent like that
but some of them aren't it's like just show this this went to this person it helped them and now
all right they're good they're taking right, I got you taken care of.
Got your back up on your feet.
Who's next?
So you pay off my student loans.
I'll show you exactly how that will help me.
Here we go.
I pay off your student loans.
How much are your student loans?
I do know.
Are you going to say it?
I don't want to say.
It's not a crazy amount, but it's not.
Why do people not want to say?
Because I don't know.
Well, I've got the tuition numbers here at Notre Dame.
We could probably figure it out.
Yeah.
Anybody want to guess what this year cost at Notre Dame?
Just for base tuition?
You can do $70,000.
$70,000?
Just to go in there and make a tongue?
Base is $60,000.
Okay.
But with room, meals, book supplies, all that, it's $80,000.
Yeah.
I mean, what if you just took a loan?
Could you go take a loan for $80,000 and just go,
I'm going to go figure it out?
Give me $80,000 just to go.
I'm going to move to.
Yeah, you can.
Sure.
They would give a kid a loan?
Depends on where you go.
The terms might not be great, but you could, yeah,
you could take out a loan with really bad terms and then you're just.
But the terms are better for college?
Well, they're not amazing.
That's what people are arguing.
It's like they really, the interest is crazy.
Yeah.
I think it's a, yeah.
I think it's a college problem.
I think all this is, it's, you're looking at the wrong thing.
Yeah, you can't even get turned down for this, right?
Like if you want to go get a car, they're like really looking at your credit,
finding out.
But if you're going to college, they're like, yeah, whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've never heard anybody getting turned down for a student loan.
I will say the tradeoff with Notre Dame, not to defend.
I mean, those are outrageously high numbers.
But Notre Dame will meet 100% of your financial need.
So whatever that means for you, they will 100 is that the honor system so no they calculate you i mean you give them
information about you know like what your family makes and your net worth and stuff and then they
calculate what your financial need is and they meet a hundred percent of it so you're talking
about those spoons underneath the couch yeah well you, you don't want to let all your assets.
All right.
So if you're like, we could only pay 40.
They're like, we will pay the other 40.
Yeah.
But they calculate to determine what you can pay.
Yeah.
You can do better than that.
Believe in yourself.
Figure it out.
I know a lot of people paid that full tuition.
Yeah.
And a lot of people were paying basically nothing to go there.
And that's the trade-off.
It's like some people can, some people can't afford it.
Yeah.
You're just giving them something that's already set there.
Like, I know you got to pay.
You're like, I mean, if you're every, how many people go to Notre Dame?
I mean.
It's pretty small.
It's about 8,000 undergrad.
What's 8,000 times 80,000?
Just to, you know.
That's a lot.
64 million?
No, way more than that.
640 million.
No, 6 billion.
Is it 6 billion?
It's hard to keep track of these zeros here.
I think Dusty was right.
640 million.
640 million. So roughly, that's just if everybody i think dusty was right 640 640 million so roughly that's
just if everybody paid the exact amount at 640 million that's not including notre dame this
merch sales the block you know yeah of ticket sales i mean there ain't there's 8 000 students
i don't know i mean like that you're you're basically even you could say worst case you're
making 500 million dollars a year. Yeah. A year.
Sounds like Notre Dame could pay off people's medical debt.
And then you still call your graduates and they still send you money.
Uh-huh.
To get football tickets, actually.
That's how it works.
Yeah.
To get in the lottery for football tickets, you make a donation.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's crazy, dude.
I mean, it's so crazy that you're at a place like no one's looking at these colleges and going like, hey, man, what are we doing? Yeah, it's crazy, dude. I mean, it's so crazy that you're at a place where you're like, no one's looking at these colleges and going like, hey, man, what are we doing?
Yeah, it's wild.
Yeah.
MTSU, 18,976.
Southern Union Community College this year.
In-state tuition's 4,860.
All right.
That's like, I don't know.
It was about 1,000.
I don't know.
I didn't take a lot of classes.
Vol State is 4,312.
But isn't community college free now in Tennessee?
Isn't that how it works now?
I think it is.
Yeah, community college is free here.
I should get money back.
You should.
Yeah.
Call Pell.
I bet my classes I had to pay remedial.
Yeah, call Mr. Gray.
I bet they go, yeah, we had to fly someone in.
We had to get a – Because y'all's teachers were like – They taught junior high, and then they had to pay remedial. Yeah, call Mr. Grant. I bet they go, yeah, we had to fly someone in. We had to get a – because y'all's teachers were like – they taught junior high,
and then they had to come teach you.
So –
And pay them overtime.
We paid them overtime.
So the wage difference for full-time workers ages 22 to 27 who graduate college
on average make $52,000 a year,
where people who did not go to college make on average $52,000 a year, where people who did not go to college make, on average, $30,000 a year,
ages 22 to 27.
So it does make a little bit of a difference there.
But that takes a long time to pay off those student debts.
Yeah.
If you have motivation and a drive, I don't think you need college at all.
I don't think so either.
But you,
but you gotta be able to like,
look,
if you want,
depends on what you want to do. It depends on what you want to do.
I would imagine if you're like,
all right,
I want to,
you know,
I want to have a solid job.
I want to,
you know,
I want to make,
I imagine you go to college,
you're not hoping to make 50 grand a year.
I would think you would want to shoot higher.
But it's like,
if you're like,
I want to make a hundred grand a year. But this is right out of the gate.
Yeah, yeah.
But college would be like, I mean,
motivation drives also could be college,
like if you'd be a doctor and all that, like that kind of stuff.
But the general person, that's not, you know,
I would think you could, you know, I don't know.
Just learn to do something.
Yeah.
You just learn to do something that could be monetized.
Well, now they're switching to trade schools.
Yeah.
The last two years, they polled high school seniors,
and it dropped from 71% to 51% of high school seniors
who said they're going to go to a four-year school.
Yeah, that's learning to do things, trade school.
Now they're going to trade schools.
Trade schools are way up.
Colleges are going to be in trouble, I bet. um college is gonna be in trouble i bet i think so
because you look at sports the sports are you know you know especially being a vanderbilt fan but
these these sports all they're all it's going to become they're just it's like the nfl like so all
the fun your colleges you have all these different divisions and it's going to be like you're either
alabama or notre dame or you're just not even a sport or you're in some other weird thing
and you're never going to be able to win because it's a football factory
and they can't.
And so your sports are going to just get to be kind of like
there's no character into it.
It's all just like a corporate machine.
It's just like we're just boom, boom, pounding them out.
People have been saying that for a while, though though but maybe you're seeing them come now yeah like so that was
before you saw oklahoma and texas are coming to the sec right and then uh isn't someone else going
usc ucla big town yeah yeah i mean it's crazy yeah i mean so it's like you're going to get to
like when i mean they're about to join forces And maybe it makes it like those games are crazy and it's fun
and it's like it's minor league for NFL.
Yeah.
But, you know, if you get rid of that stuff, it's like with college.
I mean, and on top of it, colleges are – people are getting, you know,
80 grand a year.
It's crazy.
I mean, that's like –
It's crazy.
You know, you've got to make – is that times four, is that $320,000 or what is it?
Yeah, $320,000.
So you're down $320,000 if you just had to take the full loan.
I know there's other blah, blah, blah, whatever.
But even if it's $200,000, you're down $200,000 and you've got to make that and pay that back
on top of there's a great chance you're going to get hit by a bowling ball in your life. So we should forgive these loans. I know, but I'm know there's a great chance you're gonna get hit by a bowling ball
in your life we should forgive these loans i know but i'm no but i'm saying it's a choice
yeah you're gonna go do that it's a choice but it does in the face by bowling and then people
are just buried with these for for decades and decades yeah i know people my age you still have
over a hundred thousand dollars worth of debt there's no fear in having it like in a way
there's no fear of having the debt in a way there's no fear of having
the debt i mean i know people do i mean people do work hard and they pay it off but there's more
and more people that have less fear about having the debt like it's like it's just like it's a
normal thing you're like yeah i have two hundred thousand dollars i'll just pay i pay monthly the
lowest amount i'll pay it for the rest of my life, and that's it. Never think about it. And it's like not in a –
and there are people that do go pay it back
because they don't like that feeling,
but I think there's going to be more and more.
You're just going to go – if you want to go to college,
I'll just pay $800 a month for the rest of my life.
Yeah.
And that just automatically comes out.
Right.
No one questions it.
No one really –
Then you're trapped.
Then you're trapped. Then you're trapped.
Then you're trapped, yeah.
College enrollment peaked in 2010.
21 million college students in 2010.
It's kind of gradually gone down since then.
It's dropped 6% over the last two years.
So it is going down.
Fewer people are doing that.
Trade schools are going up.
So I think last week I was about to get into this
when we stopped some secret societies in college.
Got a pivoting here.
The most famous one is the Skull and Bones.
You guys heard of this?
Yeah, I think so.
This was at Yale and some famous people, George W. Bush was in it.
His dad was in it.
William Howard Taffner, the president, was in it.
John Kerry.
Same time, George W. and John Kerry.
John Kerry were both in it when
they were running against each other and they would ask them both about it and neither one
would say anything about it like it's a secret but they supposedly have done some crazy things
uh they supposedly george w bush's grandfather stole the skull of geronimo and it's there at
their at their house um i forgot what their house is called now.
It's been a week ago.
I forgot.
But the tomb, they call it the tomb.
There's no windows there.
But the descendants of Geronimo, I think,
try to sue to get the skull back.
And they're like, we don't have it.
But supposedly, they do have it.
Some people think they control the CIA.
Some people think it's a branch of Illuminati.
Dusty, jump in any time here.
Well, wasn't the grandfather, though, head of the CIA or something?
There was a CIA.
Maybe George H.W. was?
Yeah, he was head of the CIA.
Yeah.
So, I mean, that's wild.
There you go.
Yeah, and that's a powerful club you got there.
The fact that you can still even get to where most people can't just even go look at the Geronimo school.
Where would you even go see it? At a museum?
I think he was buried in Oklahoma and the Bush grandfather was stationed there, maybe in the military or something.
And he supposedly dug it up and stole it and brought it back to the tomb at Yale University. That seems kind of crazy to do.
So I would maybe not believe it just on the fact.
He'd just dig it up?
Yeah, if he had to go dig it up, it seems weird.
Is that a picture from inside?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I bet it'd be fun.
I would join if they had to invite me.
Yeah, I mean, I think if you can join there,
you're not worrying about student loans.
Yeah, you're going to be fine.
They're going to take care of you.
They choose 15 new members every spring at a ceremony called Tap Day,
where juniors are notified of their selection
when they're tapped on the shoulder.
Do you have to go to Yale, I guess?
Yeah, you got to go to Yale.
That's a prank, huh?
For the rest of the year,
if you're a junior,
people are just coming by
and tapping you.
Oh, no.
You think you're in here.
No, no, no.
I'll do it.
Oh, hey.
I'll do it.
I just need you to move
out of the way.
Hey, Jenny.
What?
This is a big day today.
Don't be messing with me.
Is Skull and Bones just guys?
No.
They tried to keep it that way for a long time,
but they finally admitted women.
Don't sound too excited about it, Brian.
They finally said, look, these women are not going anywhere,
and I think we're going to have to have them.
1992.
There was a thing where one of the Bush daughters said something like,
at Yale, they say it's God and country, something God, country, family.
And he said at Bones, Bones would be first.
It would be like Bones, God, country.
Oh, really?
We would say God, country, Notre Dame.
Yeah.
So it would be the Bones, God, and then country. Yeah, yeah. I don't like that. Yeah. Y it would be the bones, God, and then country.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't like that.
Yeah.
Y'all going to have family in there?
They're fourth.
Notre Dame is the family, dude.
Yeah.
So your whole family went there.
No, I don't know.
I don't know where a family would fit in.
Yeah.
God, country.
You put family above country?
I would think so.
I think God, family, country.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Depends on what country you're in.
Yeah, it depends on where your family's at.
They're all in the country.
If you're like, well, mine, some live in another country, you go.
Then I'd flip-flop.
Right.
That's how you decide.
You go, well, some of mine are in another country.
You go, well, I'd flip it.
I would say God, family.
Yeah.
Like, you know, I mean, you love your country, but it's like your family, you know.
Now, were you in a fraternity?
Catholic schools don't have Greek life.
Oh.
That's interesting.
You just do a lot of other secretive stuff.
There's a lot of secret stuff going on.
Yeah.
But no Greek life.
Were you in a fraternity at MTSU?
No, I was afraid I'd get in the wrong one.
It'd be like the Q-Dogs or something, and they're branding me.
You would have gotten branded.
Do you guys know the Q-Dogs?
No.
No.
You see athletes all the time that they've got the brand.
It's a black fraternity, Omega Sci-Fi, but they call themselves the Q-Dogs,
and they brand themselves.
Oh, jeez.
Oh, wow.
Oh, okay.
I've seen these.
I like the camaraderie of it.
Shaq was one.
Michael Jordan.
Michael Jordan's got a little brand right here.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
A lot of NFL players have it, but they're called the Q-Dogs or the Qs.
So you're worried that you might accidentally end up in the Q-Dogs.
Yeah, I would just think I'm in some little white boy fraternity.
You accidentally join a black fraternity and not realize it until you got branded?
Yeah.
Well, I don't see color, Aaron, but I'd feel a brand.
I feel like you would be, like they would have you clean the house quick like you would just be
during rush yeah like during the they go not brought the next morning you'd be up first and
you're like a little fun night last night my boys and then you're just putting everything away yeah
i'd be a pledge that's what they do right yeah i never joined a fraternity but don't pledges
don't you have to do that first before you?
Oh, yeah, for like a whole semester.
Yeah, you do whatever they.
I had some buddies, all my friends from high school
that went to Tennessee were in fraternities.
I remember when they were pledging, and like one of them,
their whole job was just they always had to have cigarettes
and dip on them at all times.
So I was like, that'd be kind of nice to have,
just somebody could have whatever you know
yeah some of these things are like mean though right or like too much so it can be mean yeah
yeah i think that's kind of going away i think the bubble burst on that there's been a lot of
hazing deaths yeah from i think these campuses are really cracking down on it yeah and they're
kicking these fraternities off campus in a lot of colleges i just think it's going to go down yeah you gotta i mean yeah someone dies you're like that's that's too much yeah mainly like
alcohol related deaths right like they make you drink they make some pledge just keep drinking
and then he dies from alcohol poisoning yeah it happens like once a year somewhere
some college they're like we didn't make him do that. We actually told him to slow it down.
All right, well, there's a funnel here.
Multiple funnels.
So that's where we're having trouble with that.
You want to guess the top party schools in the country?
Georgia was up there for a long time.
West Virginia.
Alabama, Tuscaloosa.
Florida State.
Florida State's number two
Oh
I don't know how you would
I think
This changes every year
It does change every year
Who's number one
Penn State
This says Tulane
Tulane
Tulane
I think I would know that
New Orleans
God
Well yeah
Bert Kreischer was
Florida State
Right
So in 1997
Rolling Stone
Did an article called
Bert Kreischer
The Undergraduate
And it was about A six-year senior who just did crazy alcohol-driven shenanigans along with his roommate Hutch.
And then five years later, a movie called National Lampoon's Van Walder portrayed a college party animal with a friend named Hutch.
And then there was a follow-up, Van Walder, but Bert Kreischer never got any of that money.
Crazy. I think he might have tried to sue him, and it there was a follow-up, Van Walter, but Burt Crusher never got any of that money. Crazy.
I think he might have tried to sue him, and it just wasn't,
it was going against him.
But that's crazy that they, you know, to do that, to take that guy's,
you took his, to Burt's life story.
I mean, obviously Burt has done very well for himself,
and he's kind of showed them.
But it's insane.
Like, you know, that's where i always think when people talk about
people's comedians like people stealing material like i don't think comics steal material uh
i mean comics do steal material but i just don't think if you're a comic i just won't
it's it's not worth worrying about people think it happened enough people think stuff is stolen
all the time people like i got jokes abouting Out, and people are always like,
oh, you stole John Mulaney's joke.
And I've watched every John Mulaney Blackout joke,
and I'm like, these are nothing alike.
No, yeah.
Comics go talk about the same kind of stuff.
Yeah.
But it's, you know, no one's, it's overall, you're like,
no one's, there's no, you know, there's these cases where this stuff happens.
But overall, no one's just on the road, just doing someone's full hour.
And they're like famous.
Like, it's just not, it's just not, I don't think it's happening enough to be talked about.
But the Hollywood industry, the movie stuff, I do think.
But the Hollywood industry, the movie stuff, I do think. I do think people can take stuff from comics and they put jokes into movies
because they can hide them.
And I mean, right there, they just stole the whole, his life.
So the college with the lowest acceptance rate, you want to guess?
Yale, Harvard, MIT. Lowest lowest acceptance i don't think i may even
understand the toughest acceptance right oh or it's the hardest to get into doesn't help when
you don't even understand i mean i was going to be i was all pretty tough for me college like i
was about to say community college because i thought like that's what that question meant
uh yeah lowest is that's not accurate uh oxford is that not that's a that question meant. Yeah, Lois, that's not accurate.
Oxford.
What?
I mean, yeah, I don't even know colleges well enough.
I could name some.
Well, that's a trick question.
Harvard and Stanford are tied for second, 5%.
But the toughest is a little school called Curtis Institute of Music.
It's in Philadelphia.
They have about 150 students.
And each year, besides
academic requirements,
they have an orchestra and if they need
a tuba player or something like that,
that's how you get in. You've got to be a member.
You've got to be able to play an instrument
that they need for their orchestra. Interesting.
That's more exclusive than Juilliard.
Yeah. It sounds like. 4%.
4%.
Does that apply?
Are people really dying to get in? I don't know. Yeah. It sounds like. 4%. 4%. That apply? Yeah.
But are people really dying to get in?
I don't know.
What's that going to give you, going to that school?
Sounds great.
I guess, yeah.
Sounds good.
You become a good musician, you get placed into.
Yeah, I think you're signing up for a network at those places.
That's a big part of it.
That's the big appeal of any of these colleges.
What's a tuba player in the orchestra get paid?
Is that really something to strive to?
I think 50 bucks a show.
I just used that as an example.
Nina Simone, I think, didn't get accepted.
There are some famous artists.
But I just wonder,
if you're a tuba player
and you're wanting to go professional,
what kind of...
Foghorn?
Vanderbilt's 12%.
Notre Dame's 19%.
MTSU, 94%.
What's Southern Union? Really?
Hey, if you got the money money we'll find a spot for you
yeah
I like that
Southern Union's 100%
alright
there you go
Paul State was 99%
I didn't get into MDSU
so I'm on the 6%
that they did not allow
wow
you applied there
and they said no
you're like a unicorn
I don't know if I applied
maybe
maybe I didn't apply there.
I'd like to thank you, Dad.
Yeah.
Yeah, if you have that.
I remember going to visit it.
It'd be nice if you had the letter where they turned you down.
That'd be a lot of fun.
Yeah, that would be fun.
Yeah.
That's probably worth money.
It's like a Mickey Mantle rookie card.
And the 6% that they don't allow.
Yeah, the best of the best.
I mean, would you have to have 18 on your ACT to get in? and the 6% that they don't allow. Yeah. The best of the best.
I mean, would you have to have 18 on your ACT to get in?
They're like, the junior high is too far from here to get in. I think I had to go take remedial classes.
To get that coach in.
So I wasn't – I had to go to high school again, basically.
You know, a lot of these schools now, they don't even –
the hip ones now don't even look at the test scores.
Oh, really?
Yeah. What do they look at? even look at the test scores oh really yeah what do they
look at they look at you as a as a whole person that's what they say that's actually gonna hurt
you're actually like will you look at my test scores i remember when i was looking at colleges
i went to wake forest and they were one of the first schools to do this. They go, your test scores are optional.
You don't have to tell us your test scores.
If you don't want,
we'll just look at your entire package,
who you are as a student,
because people make arguments that these tests are,
you know,
disproportionately Brian's like,
not affect certain people.
So you're like,
well,
we won't even look at them now.
Yeah.
I bet that's going to pan out to be good.
US News and World Reports
does the top universities every year.
Harvard's number one,
MIT two,
Stanford three,
Vanderbilt 73rd,
Notre Dame 284.
What is this?
What is this list?
The top list in the world.
That's all. Oh, in the world? Yeah. US News and World The top list in the world, that's all.
Oh, in the world?
Yeah.
U.S. News and World Report.
Well, I mean, these are all American universities. I don't believe this list.
Did you have a Southern Union list on that list?
I couldn't find it.
Okay.
It stopped at 285.
Yeah.
I was very surprised that that had it ranked 284.
The best universities in the world?
Yeah.
Hmm.
Because, I mean, like Duke's 23rd,orgia tech's 58 vanderbilt 73rd yeah this is the wrong list all right i guess i looked at it wrong yeah yeah
yeah just a number what is it who what's the source the u.s news and world reports well that's
the main one i read that every week that's how i'd get all my rankings was the U.S. News and World Report.
It looks real.
It looks like a good, solid website, I think.
This is the go-to.
Off to a great start.
Yeah, well put together.
This is the go-to list that everybody.
Oh, okay.
It looks like a national university.
Wait, who?
Yeah, I would go to it, too, if Notre Dame's up there.
USnews.net?
Is that what that says?
USnews.com.
USnews.com.
What?
This is the same source that Brian was just reading off.
Where is Notre Dame?
This has Notre Dame tied for 19 in national universities.
Vanderbilt tied for 14.
But worldwide, maybe there are a bunch of other.
What are we?
Princeton is number one.
Yeah, it's different.
These changes every year.
All right.
But the core of it is going to be the system.
How do you rank something like that?
Well, that's the big argument is can you really?
But at the end of the day, it's like, come on.
I think that's the system.
Yeah.
It's like, what's the –
I think that's what – I really think that's what it is.
Come on.
Come on.
It's not like Nick Navicki.
It's Prince.
It's like, yeah, we're Prince.
Yeah.
So there wasn't enough people at Notre Dame doing that, going, come on.
No, we're respectful about it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Get us in there there we'd like to
be considered yeah you know come on we're not going to force the issue man we'll put you at 19
you go that's fine we know we're better than all of you yeah there was a college in uh there is a
college in pennsylvania lincoln university where students who had a body mass index of 30 or higher or a waist of 35-inch or more for women
or 40 inches or more for men couldn't graduate until they took a fitness class.
What was their waist size?
35 inches for women, 40 inches for men.
Couldn't graduate until you took a fitness for life class.
What happened at that college?
Have they been shut down?
Well, people protested.
They no longer do that you know there probably would be a you could uh if you had a college where your
first year is we're gonna just make you get healthy and like train your brain to stay in
shape and be healthy you have to take a swim test at Notre Dame well who cares about I'm saying like
you're if it's like your class was where to like,
we're going to change your lifestyle to be healthy.
So you have to change your whole lifestyle.
Yeah.
I'm just talking out loud.
Yeah, your freshman year.
Yeah, if I would have learned about like calories or like all this,
like whatever.
I think high school should do that.
I mean, it'd be nice to have learned something
that I could use in my life.
Maybe they did talk about it,
but I didn't.
I mean,
I think it should be a required course
and not a elective
or whatever they called them.
Yeah.
Force it on people.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
I could have learned that,
used that more than I needed geometry.
Yeah.
What is geometry? I don't even know if I took geometry. I took it, but it didn't do a lot for that more than I needed geometry. Yeah, what is geometry?
I don't even know if I took geometry.
I took it, but it didn't do a lot for me.
You probably took geometry.
I did Algebra 1 and then-
I think geometry was next.
Dabbled into something.
Geometry is before algebra.
I thought it was before algebra.
Actually, it might be right after Algebra 1.
After 1, before 2.
Yeah.
Geometry.
I think I went to Algebra 1, then I went to either Algebra 1. After 1, before 2. Yeah. Oh, I think I went to Algebra 1.
Then I went to either Algebra 2.
And then they were like, that's a lot.
And then I went back to Algebra 1.
That's what I think happened.
I did 1, Geometry, and I don't know what happened.
I took a class called Math and Society.
I think I did 1 and 2 in Geometry.
Yeah, I did 1.
There weren't even some angles they knew about back when I was taking it.
We only went 80 degrees at that point. Geometry. Yeah, I did one. There weren't even some angles they knew about back when I was taking it. Yeah.
We only went 80 degrees at that point.
There's the word.
They didn't have protractors back then.
That's funny. Yeah, I was like one, two, one.
That's what I did.
Wow.
Back down.
Do you take math in society?
That was a class I took.
I know.
The volleyball coach was the teacher.
I took whatever. Like mine would be coach brown if you wrote a movie and put classes in i took those classes
like every every class is like just economics speech like it would just be the normal like
you want to name these classes something fun they're like just do what everybody biology
just the generic the generic terms i i and i didn't even make it through those so i was told that they talked about all this stuff
eating stuff at all like i'm like why don't they teach you how to eat good you're like yeah did you
listen at school at all you're like i did not take a health class where you go say that's um
they told us that math and society would be about learning how to balance your checkbook.
But I don't even think we ever talked about that.
I couldn't tell you what that class was about.
Yeah.
I think we did a checkbook balance.
I never was great at balancing my checkbook.
I did it some, but it was never great.
I don't think I've ever done it.
Yeah, that's crazy.
We did it.
All right. All right.
All right.
So I'll end on this is coming up week one, college football.
I'm sure they won't count Vanderbilt's win because it was week zero.
They'll somehow find a way.
We count it.
1-0, 60-30-10.
Made a statement.
Yeah.
Some traditions, famous traditions.
Chief Fasciola, Florida State.
Kind of crazy that that's still a thing.
Doesn't it seem like?
League of Rides out there.
It's awesome. It's one of the coolest things
I've seen in person. I'm not saying that.
I know that, but I think that they use somebody who's actually
from the Seminole tribe.
And that's their way of getting around it.
They got permission. Yeah.
His name's Jerry.
Army-Navy game.
You guys ever been to that?
No.
Marching on the field.
I would love to go.
Both sides.
All right.
And Auburn, they always roll Toomer's Corner with toilet paper after a week. Yeah. I got a pic of myself as a kid on my mom's shoulders
with a little toilet paper in my hair.
Oh, look at that.
Look at that.
That's very fun.
That's awesome.
Did y'all use that?
Did you say the toilet paper home?
Probably.
Probably.
Before y'all left, y'all were like, we might as well grab some.
We'll take some of this some that's why they were there
this is like three grand of free toilet paper i mean come on what are we doing here
what's on my mom's hat there though i wish i had that hat that is a classic hat that's on that
guy's shirt back there i think that's auburn like probably fraternity stuff okay yeah those are
greek letters though it does look tough. Yeah.
Iowa, they have a couple.
Here's a new one.
They started this in 2017.
The Children's Hospital is right next door to the stadium.
So fans turn and face the hospital after the first quarter and wave at the children.
That's awesome.
That's cool.
See, these schools have to – they need to do stuff like this.
Virginia Tech, do you have that one in there?
Yep.
Inner Sandman?
Yeah.
That's awesome.
I mean, I would love to go see that.
Me too.
What do they do?
They play Inner Sandman when they –
They play Thursday nights.
They're one of the few teams that play Thursday nights.
And it's just crazy.
Crazy.
I mean, like the band plays it and then everybody sings along?
No, they play it over the stage and everyone's jumping up and down.
Oh, okay.
It's wild.
And they walk out from like, you can watch a video on it.
Okay.
And then they walk out and they're just walking.
It's like starting to play and everybody's just going crazy.
And it's just, I mean, it's the coolest thing I've ever seen.
This started in 2000, so not that long ago.
They installed a new scoreboard and they wanted to show it off
with new Entry's music, so they did inner sandman and it says the tradition was born
yeah it's like just they i mean i wish like that i want vandy to do you know it's like
have something that's like people go to school for this dude like i mean they walk over
from there together and then yeah i bet you never play this but uh it's it yeah i'll check it out yeah that's
awesome go check it out if you uh uh go to youtube full enter sandman entrance and uh it's uh it
might be my number one i want to go see of like i just think that's so cool up there for me west
virginia after a win they all sing take me Me Home Country Roads. Oh, that's cool.
The whole stadium.
I was like, I want to be there for that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wisconsin, I know this one.
They do Jump Around.
Yeah.
Started the second half.
Oh, Iowa, also another one thing they do.
In 1979, Howard Fry, their coach, painted the locker room
of the visiting team pink because he was a psychology major,
and they learned that that color dampens excitability
and aggressive behavior.
So they still keep it pink to this day.
That's cool.
And before the final home game of every season,
the seniors at Notre Dame sneak bags of marshmallows in the stands
and throw them at each other throughout the game.
Yeah.
I'm more about this inner Sandman, like singing that song like a camaraderie with
the fans i just put that one in for aaron because throwing a marsh you don't think
throwing marshmallows oh wait that's at notre dame yeah oh y'all put that in for you people
put people put quarters into the marshmallows and then you can really hurl them oh that's why
you that's why you've fallen so far on the ranking yeah yeah. It costs you $320,000 to maybe damage a poor person again
as y'all throw your quarter marshmallows at the help.
And then you go up with your fathers and you live in your castles
and a guy's got just gashes on his eye.
Meanwhile, I'm walking through there taking quarters out of all the marshmallows
just to get some lunch the next day.
Yeah, it must be nice.
Would you ever eat any?
Of course.
I mean, you sneak something in, of course you're going to eat something.
Yeah, a couple.
I mean, who's not going to have one, right?
Yeah.
You bring two bags, one for eating, one for throwing.
Don't touch this one.
Yeah.
This pocket's for my eating.
This pocket's for my throwing
uh all right all right we uh talked a little bit about college yeah somewhat talked about a lot of
stuff college part three coming up we'll just keep going it's over it's it's all right we love
you all uh thank you everybody uh i am going to be in Vegas.
I'll be in Vegas September,
you know, something,
11th, 10th, 11th, 12th,
something like that.
I want to say 10th.
I want to say 9th, 10th, I believe I'll be in Vegas.
So if you're there,
come out to that.
And then we got, yeah,
the special taping.
My tour is starting,
starting back up pretty hard.
So if you want to go
check all that stuff out september 15th in springfield missouri at uh billiards and september
16th 17th at helium in st louis awesome i'm doing zanies here in nashville september 11th
then i'm doing off the hook in naples and then side splitters in tampa that week so i don't
really know what week we're on here but uh i'm is about this week. Okay. I got a video that I put out. That's a video of me doing a
five o'clock somewhere, full breakdown. Really great. It's on YouTube. You should check it out.
And also I'll be in Greensboro, North Carolina at the Comedy Zone.
Yeah. So you're going the viral route. It's not, well, it'll be out when this comes out.
It's not out as of when you know, when we're recording.
Is it like when you shot it?
Yeah, it's got, you know, it's about an eight-minute breakdown of me doing the song.
It's five o'clock somewhere.
It's great.
It's going to help your SEO.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm looking to get the SEO bumped up a bit.
Well, you have an act.
Yes, I do have an act.
When they watch this video, then they can go see a great show.
Yeah, we're recording on Monday.
So you're looking up.
It's not out.
It's not out yet.
But Wednesday it will be.
Yeah.
Lexington.
Also, Lexington, Kentucky.
We're shooting Greg Warren's special at Comedy Club Off-Broadway.
It's September 29th, October 1st.
October 1st.
October 1st is a Saturday.
We're taping two shows.
So come out to that.
We'd love you there.
I'll be there directing
and producing
the 800-pound gorilla.
Greg is super funny.
Around the podcast,
obviously, you've heard him.
So come check that out.
All right.
We love you very much.
Thank you.
And talk to you next week.
Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi,
and my wife, Laura,
on the All Things Comedy Network.
Recording and editing for the show
is done by Genovations Media.
Thanks for tuning in.
Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.