The Nateland Podcast - #114 Gambling

Episode Date: September 7, 2022

This week, the guys are talking about gambling so of course they somehow discuss Sylvester Stallone, Chick Fil A, and the height of the world's tallest building.      Podcast produced by Nate &a...mp; Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - Nateland@NateBargatze.com   Solo Stove - SoloStove.com Right now, you can get big discounts on all fire pits during Solo Stove’s Labor Day Sale  And use promo code NATE at solostove.com for an extra $10 off.  That’s solostove.com, promo code NATE for $10 off on top of their incredible Labor Day discounts.  But hurry! The Labor Day Sale ends September 11th.     Athletic Greens - AthleticGreens.com/Nate   Right now, it’s time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient, daily nutrition!  It’s just one scoop in a cup of water every day. That’s it! No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health.  To make it easy, Athletic Greens Is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase.  All you have to do is visit ATHLETICGREENS.com/NATE. Again, that is ATHLETICGREENS.com/NATE to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance!   Prize Picks - PrizePicks.com   ● Download the PrizePicks app or go to PrizePicks.com to sign up and play daily fantasy sports!  ● First time users can receive a 100% instant deposit match up to $100 dollars with promo code NATE ● If you deposit $100, PrizePicks will give you $100. If you deposit $50, PrizePicks will give you $50.  ● Don’t forget to enter promo code NATE at sign up for an instant deposit match up to $100 dollars!   Factor Meals - GO.Factor75.com/dollop130   Head to GO.FACTOR75.com/dollop130 and use code dollop130 to get $130 off across 6 boxes.  That’s code dollop130 at GO.FACTOR75.com/dollop130 for $130 off.   Vroom - Vroom.com   Vroom is entirely online. So, next time you need to buy a car, just grab your phone, go to Vroom.com, and check out thousands of great cars.  That’s Vroom dot com! Vroom.com.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello folks! Hey Bear! Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate, sitting here with Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm Nate, sitting here with Brian Bates here in Weber, Dusty Slick. Alright. That was the new Hello Folks and Y'all Say Hey Bear. I was into it. We didn't say it at the same time, but it'll get better. I think it's got to be the response, you know. Right, right. Where does Let's Go Folks stand now?
Starting point is 00:00:43 I don't know, it's been gone, man. It's out? No, I still think Let's Go Folks still. People still say it. I think it's still a fun one to say. Hey Bear is just, it is the, you say hello, folks. Someone says Hey Bear back. That's so obvious.
Starting point is 00:00:57 A guy got mad at me this weekend. He did Hey Bear, middle of a joke. And then I said Hey Bear back to him. And then the whole audience was quiet. And I go, wow, you really killed the energy of the show. I was like, you ruined the whole show. And I was being funny with it because I always say the show is ruined or things are going wrong. I mean, half my act is saying it's not going well. And then he sat there for a long time.
Starting point is 00:01:21 And then he left. I mean, he left on like the last 15 minutes and then i made jokes about him leaving and then he came up to me in the merch line and he said he got so upset with me and we talked we talked it out and it was fine but uh you know he was so mad i don't know what happened did you say hey bear when he left as he walks off you but hey bear clearly that's enough dusty As he walks off, he goes, hey bear. That's enough, Dusty. Clearly he had never been to one of my shows before
Starting point is 00:01:50 where I'm just talking about, hey, well, all right, the show's tanked. I say that sort of stuff all the time. But we made up, but it took a minute. That's good. I had somebody yell, let's go, folks, this weekend. And I replied, hey bear. And it was clear they haven't listened to me the last 10 episodes or so because they just stared at me like what yeah so there's
Starting point is 00:02:11 you can tell the people who aren't quite up to date when uh when they have no idea what hey bear means yeah hey well they they're they're get on board once they get there let's go folks still good though people people say like when I walk out that's what they're usually the appropriate time to yell yeah people do you just kind of yell it when you walk out let's go folks hey bear hello folks everybody you know identifies whatever whichever slogan you want we have hey bear shirt Kevin Best made for us I got a real list of things now I go out all right we're having a good time hey bear hello folks let's go folks yeah you gotta yeah they people that show up late like what'd you miss you like just his introduction 20 minutes late yeah yeah he goes yeah he's got a laundry list he sits up there
Starting point is 00:02:57 pesticide i had a guy Tulsa Oklahoma a couple weekends ago came up to me after the show he said you said you're from Nashville I said yeah he goes you ever meet
Starting point is 00:03:10 Nate Bargetzi I said I've run into him yeah he goes you ever try to get on his podcast oh wow I was like
Starting point is 00:03:18 nah he's like I listen all the time dude that's what he told me really yeah I guess he'd never watched it oh and he just listened to it he's like you listen all the time dude that's what he told me really yeah i guess he'd never watched it oh and he just listened to it he's like you could be on there dude yeah i was like thanks man
Starting point is 00:03:31 you sound like a guy on there i'll look into it yeah yeah i i don't think you should be on it but somebody told me i should start a podcast and i didn't want to tell him that i have two going right now because i'm like if you don't know that that's happening what's your other one well i have a we're having a good time podcast oh yeah you know where i just talk yeah and uh but they were like you should do a podcast and it's like they were such fans but i'm like you're not you know maybe clicked on the link in my bio and see that i have two going yeah it's it's you know it's that's the, it's hard. People, it's, you know, you realize, I always try to think of
Starting point is 00:04:07 when someone doesn't know, you know, they'll be like, when are you coming to this town? And then you're like, I'm here, you know, now. Which happens a lot. And, or they don't know that you're on a pod.
Starting point is 00:04:17 They don't know what show, you know. And then I think about, I'll try to be like, all right, well, I'll think of a music person. I'm like, yeah, I don't know. Exactly. I could walk up to Stevie Wonder like, all right, well, I'll think of a music person. I'm like, yeah, I don't know. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:04:25 I could walk up to Stevie Wonder and be like, why don't you go on Fallon? And he's like, what? He's like, I was on Johnny Carson's first show. And you're like, oh, well, I didn't see it. And then I'm like, I would do the same thing. Yeah, totally. Yeah, all right all right uh that's it uh i don't know we start off with you guys comments uh again they're all twitter
Starting point is 00:04:55 instagram youtube reviews face facebook right too yeah we'll get some facebook we get some facebook uh peggy carp this is a terrific episode. The discussion on the Taylor Swift class widened to a great discussion on genuine creativity versus imitations. Nate's comments were, as usual, right on, as were Dusty's.
Starting point is 00:05:18 You guys are a breath of fresh air. Thanks to all of you for brightening my week. You are good company. Oh, man. Very nice. I guess me and Brian dropped the ball, huh? Nate and Dusty hit the nail on the head. She might not know y'all are even on the podcast.
Starting point is 00:05:34 She lives in Tulsa. Yeah. Thomas Gray. I think I laughed harder than any other moment in this show hearing about bromine being worried about getting surprise branded in the Q-Dogs? I almost crashed my lawnmower. Thanks for the great show. Keep up the good works. Good work, boys.
Starting point is 00:05:53 Keep up the good work, boys. How did I just forget boys? You got tired. I got tired. Keep up the good works. You guys get it. He was saying boys also. Maverick Pitchford.
Starting point is 00:06:05 I have waited for this day for so long, I thought when my comment was finally read on the podcast it would be a joyous occasion, but boy, was I wrong. My last name is Pitchford, not Pitchfork. Don't worry, Nate. I don't blame you.
Starting point is 00:06:21 I blame Brittle Bates. Yeah, sorry about that, Maverick. You put the Pitchfork in there. I think with a name like Maverick, I just assumed it was Pitchfork. Pitchford is a tough name. Yeah, Maverick Pitchford. I bet it's Pitchford. Pitchford.
Starting point is 00:06:36 Maverick Pitchford. Yeah, it's Pitchford. It's Pitchford. Pitchford. Maverick Pitchford. Pitchford. Yeah, that's good. Great name.
Starting point is 00:06:45 Call him Mav. Tanner Baldridge. Nate, when he hears about a class analyzing lyrics to Taylor Swift songs, I could pass that in a heartbeat. Also, Nate, five minutes later, when I listen to music, I don't hear the words. I guess if they talked about the words, I'd be in trouble. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:03 Yeah, I don't. Yeah. said they talked about the words i'd be in trouble yeah i don't yeah i think i mean a song does not even remotely abigail was telling me about uh lumineers like in their albums and i like the lumineers like it's the whole album's like a story and i'm like what like i don't even know what that means like i there's i've never listened to a song and really was like, this song's about. Kenny Chesney's, back where I come from. Yeah, but just because he says, I come from Tennessee, that's the only part that I'm like, I'm just an old Tennessean and I go, I am too.
Starting point is 00:07:41 You just pick out the word Tennessee. Yeah. I wouldn't know what it's all about but you've talked about how it what it meant to you it meant to me because I live from yes and that song meant something to me because I would listen to it as I as I handed out flyers because they reminded me of Tennessee but it was but I don't know I didn't like I don't I just I don't digest music i guess the way people do i mean we used to me and my buddies just listen to pink floyd like we would break it down like it was our life yeah we got too into it yeah i don't even think i could even would even
Starting point is 00:08:17 i would leave probably yeah we got deep into it yeah we're sitting in a trailer getting deep into it yeah i understand yeah y'all getting deep into it yeah I understand yeah yeah I would be like I don't I don't what are we doing the first time I was in New York City I remember I texted Dusty I was I'm just not comfortable here and he sent me this song Hank Williams jr. song what's the song Dixie on my mind yeah Dixie on my mind where it talks about that exact predicament yeah of being in New York City from the south and not being comfortable there. And I still vibe to that every now and then. Yeah, I love it.
Starting point is 00:08:49 I like New York City. You were just there visiting? Yeah, I was there. Had a text of friends? You go, I don't feel safe. You're like, golly, I got a layover in New York and I just don't feel comfortable. And he goes, all right, man. He knew who to contact.
Starting point is 00:09:00 He goes, well, I'll tell you what to do. Download. He knew who to contact. Yeah. He goes, yeah, I'll help you get through do. Download. He knew who to contact. Yeah. He goes, yeah, I'll help you get through that. He goes, what do you got, an hour and a half later or something? He goes, yeah, yeah, and I just feel like, ew. No.
Starting point is 00:09:12 I wasn't like, oh, oh, oh. I was on the corner first and first. I was just like, man, this is a different thing. Yeah. It's a whole different thing. It's a whole different thing. I think Hank Williams Jr. played that song once in New York City. Oh, how'd they take it?
Starting point is 00:09:25 I think the host was like, something like, all right, you're playing that here in New York City. Yeah. Yeah. That was great, though. Yeah. The host of the show? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:36 Yeah. Okay. I'm like you about most songs, though. I was just thinking about Hotel California. I have no idea what that song means. Yeah, it's about a hotel. It's about hell, isn't it? I have no idea. I thought it'd be about a hotel. In California. It has no idea what that song means. Yeah, it's about hell, isn't it? I have no idea.
Starting point is 00:09:46 I thought it'd be about a hotel. In California. It has nothing to do with a hotel. I think it's a metaphor for hell. You check in here, you can never leave. Oh. You know? Yeah, I mean, I would never, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:58 I mean, I feel bad because I think these songwriters are, like, there's a story, there's, like, something there. They're putting their soul into it. They're putting their soul into it and i'm just you know like you know i just like i and none of it means anything shake it off and i'll even listen to shake it off like i'll listen to uh led zeb like i started listening to like some like and i like that stuff but it's still like I'm not doing it for the right reasons it's not like don't fear the reaper yeah you know I don't you know listen to that on my birthday this is a hotel California there she stood in the doorway I heard the mission
Starting point is 00:10:38 bell and I was thinking to myself this could be heaven or this could be hell then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way. There were voices down the corridor. I thought I heard them say. I mean, I know all the lyrics, but I've never really thought about what it means. Yeah. I mean, I could be completely wrong. Yeah, man.
Starting point is 00:10:56 It could just be about California and fame. But when you hear a song, you listen to it like a story. Depends on what it is. Yeah. Sometimes you can tell, oh, he's trying to. Let's rewind it. Yeah, he's trying to tell us something. Let's sink in. Let's trying to let's rewind it yeah he's trying to tell us let's sink in let's listen to this let's see what's going on yeah i mean i've gotten way
Starting point is 00:11:09 too into song lyrics before and then i like started to meet and get to know musicians and i'm like yeah this maybe doesn't mean anything yeah like that john connelly song i asked you about oh well um that one means she yeah yeah it does you asked him about it, right? But yeah, She Can't Say That Anymore is a song. It's like a cheating song. But Brian thought that at the end that the guy kills the woman. And I asked John Connolly, and he laughed. He said, no, I don't think anybody's killing anybody in this song. It's a 50-year-old song.
Starting point is 00:11:40 No one's ever asked me that. Yeah, he said no one's ever asked me that before. Well, there's a guy named Brian Bates, too.ates who you're like john do you have someone get murdered in your family yeah what from that song all right uh tanner balder no just did that brianna shock but brianna was shocked i didn't mess up that first name. To be fair to Pastor Dusty, slew is used as the past tense of slay in the King James Version of the Bible. Oh, well, there you go. That's where I got it.
Starting point is 00:12:15 There you go. That's what you're thinking of? You're thinking of Genesis 4-8? Yeah. Yep. Yeah. That's where he lives in the King James Version. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:12:22 Exactly. Alexandra Schnitiger. I actually took an Adam Sandler class in college like a regular college. Kent State in a regular major. Oh, wait. I actually took an Adam Sandler class in college like at a regular college. She went to Kent State. In a regular major, communication, and it counted towards my degree.
Starting point is 00:12:44 Every day we watched an Adam Sandler video and learned about his comedic techniques. She went to Kinstein. In a regular major, communication, it counted towards my degree. Every day we watched an Adam Sandler video and learned about his comedic techniques. Best part of the class is Adam Sandler sent in a video to our class just for us. He said, hope this class is an easy A. I got a B, but it was a cool experience. There you go. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:12:59 That's fun. Yeah, all Adam Sandler's movies are like the hero's journey. Yeah. I mean, it's like that same formula. Everyone is like, you know, guy not doing well, accomplishes something, then has a big failure, and then wins in the end. Yeah. See, I have no depth.
Starting point is 00:13:16 Not some of his recent stuff. I have no depth to anything, even movies. I even try to go like, all right nate think about like what is this person you know and i have there's no it's like i just like i laugh at the parts that i laugh at i enjoy watching it what did i you know and then other than that you're like i can't i don't follow along i think you're selling yourself short though i. I mean, you tell stories in your act. You know what makes a good story. You know how to structure ideas.
Starting point is 00:13:50 Yeah. And I bet you appreciate those things in movies, even when you don't realize it. Or sitcoms. And nunners. Why is, like, Business School your favorite episode of The Office? Yeah, because it had heart to it. Sweet. Sweet.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so guess what about this with adam sandler movies you ever notice this though in in several of the movies like the first one billy madison he has veronica vaughn is the love interest two v's uh happy gilmore it's victoria vennett two v's little nicky i forget the name, but it's 2Vs. And then Waterboy, it's Vicky Valancourt, 2Vs. And I think there's some others.
Starting point is 00:14:32 So what's going on with that? Yeah. You know what I mean? What does that mean? What is the 2Vs all about? What are the 2Vs about? Yeah. Why does he keep doing that?
Starting point is 00:14:41 Yeah. When you find out, maybe he'll write in. I'm hoping so. Let's get an easy A here. Send a video to this class this class to be like yeah that means it just worked out that way that's what i'm saying no i never see anybody talk about the two of these you just figured that out yourself yeah all right what were you what was happening in that moment well i just think that i just kept you know you think about that because he's like in waterboy he says vicky valencourt a lot and then in billy madison they say veronica vaughn a lot
Starting point is 00:15:12 that veronica vaughn yeah you know so you just hear it a bunch but do you remember like the moment you thought of this i don't know if i remember the moment i've been talking about it for a while okay no one seems to know or it never really goes past this kind of conversation yeah yeah where people go well that is interesting i think it's interesting yeah i like the idea of you when you learn it you go huh you're watching water boy you're like huh wait a second wait a second we were watching uh everybody loves ray Raymond and noticed how much purple was on the set. It must have been his favorite color.
Starting point is 00:15:51 It was just everywhere. I googled Everybody Loves Raymond, purple, couldn't find anything. I was like, I can't believe anyone never talked about this. Turns out our TV's color just wasn't corrected. talked about this turns out our tv's color just wasn't corrected every show started having purple yeah i was like it must be a sitcom thing like it's pleasant to
Starting point is 00:16:14 the eye oh man i wish you had done like tiktok conspiracy that's i mean i would have almost if you wouldn't have looked it up, I could almost been, we could have got to the bottom of it. I was ready. I could have reached out to him and then been like, you know how stupid I was. Hey, why is the, I mean, I know Phil, I know Ray and Phil, but like, and Patricia. So like, I mean, I could have got you all the... I would have texted them all together.
Starting point is 00:16:47 Hey, guys, what was the deal with the purple? Because I would have probably... If you didn't figure it out, I would have just been like, I don't know, let's find out. Yeah. And then it would have just been... He'd be like, what are you talking about? I'd go, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:17:04 Ben Hobbratch Ben Hobbrach. Hobbrach. The government can cancel debt because they own the debt. The debt is federal student loans. Medical debt is not. There are no federal medical loans. The credit card companies would have to cancel those debts. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:24 Makes sense. Makes sense. Apt analysis. Yeah. Makes sense. Makes sense. Apt analysis. Yeah, yeah. It makes sense. Susan Johnson, I've worked in financial aid for over 20 years.
Starting point is 00:17:35 The college is a choice argument gets real tough when you look at the amount of jobs requiring degrees. Instead of going into those arguments, I'll share a fun fact. There was a Mr. Pell, Senator Pell from Rhode Island. Since he died in 2009, I wouldn't recommend calling him for the
Starting point is 00:17:51 grant. Oh, yeah. Well, there might be a Senator Pell Jr. Yeah. Yeah. I'm hoping the Pell family's keeping it going. Yeah, I would hope so. I got a Pell Jr. grant. Yeah, yeah. It's a smaller grant. Less money. Yeah. By the way, that's my favorite way to correct us on anything. Look, it's a smaller grant less money yeah by the way that's my favorite way to correct us on anything look there's a lot of stuff i could say yeah but i'll say something else yeah yeah i'll share a fun fact i'm not here for this stuff for the yeah it makes sense the jobs so we're blaming i would blame the jobs i mean yeah if everyone stopped going to college those jobs would be like all right all right all right all all right. All right, all right. We have to. Yeah, yeah. All right.
Starting point is 00:18:26 We just want to. Can you drive a stick shift? Yeah. All right, all right. You go, all right, I got a job at Dell. But we want our doctors, I think, to go to college, right? Huh? I don't care.
Starting point is 00:18:36 You got to drive a stick shift. Yeah. Can you get to work? He knows how to move some stuff. He knows how to, yeah. He goes, I'd like to see you move this bed upstairs. All right, I'll let you have surgery on me. He goes, that was good.
Starting point is 00:18:50 Wood cabinet, no dents. A couple doctors have to tear a wood cabinet up, and you go. Yeah. All right. Yeah, let me see you do a crochet pattern, and then you can do surgery on me. Yeah, all right, let's get after it. David Brothers. so you do a crochet pattern yeah and then you can do surgery on me yeah all right let's get after it david brothers i went from having no high school degree in my early 30s to two master degrees at the age of 40 i can say the degrees paid off big time in both my personal and professional life everyone has their own experience but i could say it was totally worth it for me
Starting point is 00:19:18 very true yeah don't yeah go do your thing yeah good job yeah don't listen Yeah, go do your thing. Yeah, good job. Yeah, don't listen to this. If anybody's young, probably go to college. Do whatever. Yeah, I mean, if you're like... This case is even older. You're sitting around trying to make a choice. If you're old like David... And you make a choice based off a podcast.
Starting point is 00:19:37 Yeah. You got to get it together. David's younger than me. If you're an old man like David Brothers, who Bates used to drop off at school, the Brothers family. Renee Mathis, Dusty's right. School kids take the SAT, but it's not the College of Mission Scholastic Aptitude Test. It's the Stanford Achievement Test.
Starting point is 00:20:03 Yeah, you can see how that could be confusing maybe yeah let's give it another name there's a lot of letters a lot of letters that's why they go sat yeah i'm gonna take the sat and if you say i'm gonna i gotta go take the sat they go how about you not worry about it right yeah because i'm like we've got our answer that even took me a second to get scholastic scholastic well how do you say it skull scholastic scholastic yeah you got to do the whole thing i wouldn't be that's how you really get get scholastic aptitude if they just said what does aptitude mean i'd go i don't and they'd be like all right next you remember the
Starting point is 00:20:44 scholastic book fair any of that yeah i love the book fair was fun dude the book fair was super fun dude, if they just said, what does aptitude mean? I'd go, I don't know. And they'd be like, all right, next. You remember the Scholastic Book Fair? Any of y'all have that going? Yeah, I loved the Book Fair. The Book Fair was fun, dude. The Book Fair was super fun. I'd buy some erasers. Harper, I went to Harper's Book Fair. They're still going?
Starting point is 00:20:54 Yeah, they're still doing them. I mean, I think it was, I want to say kindergarten. And I went in and I was like, this is, I love the Book Fair. Book Fair is fun. Book Fair is fun. And so I went in there and did it with her. And I was like, I get a get. You know, I wanted to book fair. Book fair is fun. Book fair is fun. And so I went in there and did it with her. And I was like, I get to get, you know, I wanted to get everything. Get a book, an eraser, and then like a poster of a car.
Starting point is 00:21:12 Yeah. That's the best. Everything you need. My poor mom had no money and knew I wasn't going to read those books, but would buy them for me anyway. Berenstain Bears. Yeah. That's what I would read.
Starting point is 00:21:22 She's like, buying me books that maybe she'll read so that they at least get some use out of it she's got to read my teacher is an alien because i won't read it yeah that was a book you read oh well i i did end up that led down the road to where we're at right now it could have been that could have been there was several you know it was i read my teacher as an alien you took the ball the book the wrong way you walked in and you're like, huh. Yeah. How come you can always see me when your head's not looking at me? Really opened up some.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Teacher is an alien. Yeah. Yeah. What is that book about? Well, I think the teacher, I don't remember altogether, but I think the teacher had come to earth and was like, I'm going to get in here and manipulate these kids. That's what they sold that to you.
Starting point is 00:22:09 I don't think that's what it was about. That's what they had at your book fair? Yeah, I think so. That's what Dusty thought it was about. He never read it. They were opening up our minds. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, a lot of JFK stuff. Oh, there it is.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Yeah, my teacher's in Avon. Oh, yeah, my teacher glows in the dark I also read the magic bullet yeah how'd that thing turn around in midair yeah
Starting point is 00:22:31 what's it about my teacher fried my brains I had that one yeah my teacher fried okay I don't think
Starting point is 00:22:40 I think I'm over it William underscore a underscore. Galeino. Galeino. Underscore has become a big thing. Kids like underscore. When they create their...
Starting point is 00:22:56 You think more now than before? I feel like it's been around for... It has been on keyboards for years. I know, but kids want to be... Their thing wants to be under they want underscore in their new handles i think i think younger kids like it okay they're like no we need underscore it's like cool to have underscore okay where it's like would be a nightmare for it i just thought all the handles have been taken now so you have to that's probably
Starting point is 00:23:21 it but they've made it it's i think kids like it. It's like, no, no, I want. And Harper had something where she was like, underscore's got to be in it. And I was like, oh, I don't even know where that's at. I was always blank for me. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's not what we called it.
Starting point is 00:23:39 Called it blank. You didn't call it underscore. When the line's down on the bottom like that. You know what I mean? That's blank. Like fill in the blank. Oh yeah like hangman you would be like it's fl blank blank right because you would say blank like that not underscore yeah yeah but it would be blank if you're writing it i guess yeah yeah yeah y'all don't keep score? I guess. I don't know. Marquis, William A., I heard a rumor.
Starting point is 00:24:10 This is William A. Gallolino. I heard a rumor in high school that if you rubbed chapstick on a Scantron sheet, it would mess up the machine they put it in, and it would give you a good grade. Am I the only one that heard this? I remember hearing that. Mm-hmm. Dusty? You know, I never was a cheater. I would just fail the test.
Starting point is 00:24:30 Y'all didn't like machines in your schools? Well, I think we... I mean, I didn't like them, but I think we had them. Yeah, yeah, what's that printer up to? According to Snopes, this is false. This does not... Oh, good old snopes snopes has never been wrong about anything right they're just all right so it's a real rumor about
Starting point is 00:24:55 snopes i heard that snopes was just two people looking up stuff i don't know if that's true but i'm like i look at snopes to find, who's looking this stuff up at Snopes? And they go, don't worry about who's looking this stuff up at Snopes. It's Snopes fake. Of course, Snopes are going to censor those results. Yeah, Snopes are going to let that happen. Yeah. Daniel Kentrell.
Starting point is 00:25:20 Yale accepts 6.5% of applicants, but MTSU rejects 6% of applicants. Some might say that it's even harder to get rejected from MTSU than it is to get accepted to Yale. This means that Nate is part of a group that is just as exclusive as going to Yale. Bravo, Nate. Thank you. That's amazing. Way to go. Yeah. That is impressive. Congrats.. It's hard work. Hard work's hard work. Marquis Quinn. I took the ACT. I took the ACT my senior year, and the morning I took it, I woke up with a nasty cold. I took what I thought was some Dayquil. I remember starting the test, but was then woken up by the teacher to find an empty classroom.
Starting point is 00:26:04 So I filled in as many blanks as I could and turned it in. I wasn't interested in any college, but I took the test again a few weeks later because our school counselor recommended it. I was able to stay away the second time. I scored a 16 that time, trying. I scored a 17 on the first test, guessing. Wow. Me and Marquis are right at it. yeah well i like how marquee is like i wasn't interested in college and then he took it twice i wasn't interested in college either
Starting point is 00:26:31 and i didn't take it but but i'm sure someone they tell you you fell asleep you go take it and i'm sure you're wondering well what i mean what am i gonna maybe i'll get a 40 yeah oh yeah above the you know you just just got to make sure. And then you're like, and it goes worse than when you guessed. You're like, yeah, yeah. Reiterated? Yeah, he was like, dude, I'm not going to. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:54 He wanted it to be confirmed. He wanted it to be. Yeah. Yeah, we had, with the college one, we had, I'm going off of being opinionated. Yeah. I thought of it this weekend. Like, I don't – I saw this Elvis clip, so let's play this Elvis clip. It's changed it.
Starting point is 00:27:16 It's back to what I wanted to do. I've been on this country except in the service. Oh, Mr. Presley, on the subject of the service, what is your opinion of war protesters and would you today refuse to be drafted? Yeah, I love that. He then gives his opinion on something. What about this jacket? He goes, that's stupid. I go, all right, Elvis. But I saw that this weekend, and I was like, I got to get back to that.
Starting point is 00:27:58 And it's not that I – I don't think I'm going too crazy, but it's like with the – it's like, you know, what does it matter? Like that's not why you're here. That's not what my job should be i'm an entertainer maybe my job maybe i'll want to do that one day you get older i think and that's why it gets hard especially like it's easy in my act because my act is you're writing it and i'm great like so here it's a little more free flowing so it's it's like you kind of end up being like, well, college, all this kind of stuff. And you're like, something's going to work for everybody. You're going to go to college, you're going to love it. Or you're not going to go to college, and you're going to love it.
Starting point is 00:28:37 It doesn't matter. I didn't go to college. That's not why we're here and that and then i said and like i got sent that to me and uh by someone like not even uh attached to this podcast it was someone else and i was like because i always like talk about that because i try to do that but then it was like this podcast i was like this after the college stuff i was like god i'm too it's like a little too high on your horse and it was like you can feel it where you're like all right right, dude, you got to calm down. You don't,
Starting point is 00:29:06 I don't know anything. Yeah. So it's like, you're minding yourself. So I'm hoping to be, look, I can't promise that I'm not going to say anything ever again. I hope not to,
Starting point is 00:29:15 but I'm trying to get, I am working on it to be just back to being fun. Cause it's like, it doesn't even matter what they agree or disagree. Cause it's like, it just shouldn't be, that's not why you're here. You does that make sense totally it's so hard though like i put out a joke about five o'clock somewhere and i just have a joke about uh say uh it's only
Starting point is 00:29:34 half past 12 but i don't care uh it's five o'clock somewhere and i'm like but that's not true you know it may you know it may be 5 30 somewhere but we don't lose a half hour just because you change time zones and man did the did the top did the uh what do you call it time zone police come out from everywhere they're like oh there's half hour time zones all around the world and i tried to make a funny joke about it and they're like well a lot of your friends served in afghanistan and i was like okay now we're seem like i'm talking about the military and i'm like yeah it's just a joke i'm sorry i didn't realize that there were so many half-hour time zones yeah that's all like internet like that's and i mean look i don't think we really i think these comments are always great and people i think we do it's uh i think this is all real people like some of that you can see something if you get something that kind of gets a little into the mainstream, like it's kind of out of your people that are aware of you.
Starting point is 00:30:29 And then that kind of stuff starts happening. But that's the stuff that's like, it's like, who cares? Like that's just like, there's people that are, they just, this is what they do. They want to argue or they want to do this. And that's their thing. And they want to do that. And that's fine. And it's like, it's almost like you've got to quit it or not.
Starting point is 00:30:45 Like, it's like, all right, well, then you realize, like, all right, they're there, and it's hard not to. But then you go, who cares? Like, it's, they're, that's going to happen. And they're trying to get either you riled up or get into some argument. Or even if it is, like, they're taking it like that with the troops. And they could even be on your side of whatever. And you're still like, all right, dude. It's like, what are you, you can't,
Starting point is 00:31:08 no one's posting a video with just going like, no, no, I wanted to make a big point that I don't believe in Afghanistan. And you're like, well, he did it, boy. He did it with a Jimmy Buffett reference. Nobody, 99% do not think that. Yes. but the people that type it you know it's like because they're just you know whatever like it's yeah like you know so thankfully their arguments though bumps it up in the algorithm and it gets more views because they're arguing about it yeah
Starting point is 00:31:38 that is good it really worked out yeah yeah but that's yeah that's where i i thought of it i thought it before i saw this clip and i was like i just don't like it was like i'm getting too i was worried about it we have a physics episode coming out too i don't this was before i've claimed this so just so people i don't think i did anything in physics but i might have i don't i might have i don't believe in you know being like i don't believe in physics or something. But I don't know if I did anything in physics. But I was worried about physics.
Starting point is 00:32:09 But that one's coming out. That was a fun one, if I remember correctly. I hope so. And it's all very benign. It's all very, yeah. I don't think anything's super serious. I don't think I'm getting crazy. But it just was like, all right, I could feel it leaking towards that way. And I'm like, I need to back it back down.
Starting point is 00:32:25 Right. Cause my act is not doing that. And it's like, that's what I don't want to do. I want to be. And like, and then getting that clip was like even more of it was like, Oh,
Starting point is 00:32:35 this is, yeah, it's like that. Dude, that's what I want. That's what this podcast started. That's what it was. But it's hard not to think your opinion,
Starting point is 00:32:43 Matt, you know, you think, well, let me get my opinion out you're going to start calling interviewers honey when you answer a question yeah they should know
Starting point is 00:32:49 I go white hips go ahead excuse me I go what's that do you think entertainers should be typical question from a wide hip just make it worse and worse just the opposite so then I have to then
Starting point is 00:33:18 I'm a guy that has to give his opinion maybe look and maybe one day I will I feel like if you ever one day like you know you get older say i'm in 15 years i'm like you know what i want to stand up for something blah blah maybe i will do that i i have no idea right now i know that's not my my thing so i gotta calm it down so today's topic is nate and i traveling together and well i'll still do i'll still have big problems with that.
Starting point is 00:33:46 You don't know how to sit down on a plane. This is not a man that can, you know. I will not have opinions about you. There'd be, or I would like dumb stuff. Look, don't just go through everything. You can't go and pick and be like, well, you did it. Like, I can't promise I'm not perfect as no one is except Bates. I'm sorry, I'm not what?
Starting point is 00:34:13 I said you're the only perfect one. Oh, perfect. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. Him and Jesus. He goes, when you get to heaven, Jesus is going to go,
Starting point is 00:34:24 what's up, man? He goes, what's up? A little fist bump. Yeah, he goes, we did it right, didn't we? Yeah. We did it. Yeah. I've been waiting on you, brother.
Starting point is 00:34:32 And then Bates asks him, he goes, where's the, he has a lot of questions. Where's the bathroom and stuff like that? Like, where am I staying? I've been waiting a while. And he goes, and he's like, gosh. And then Jesus breaks out cigars and you go, you know I can't do that. He goes, are you kidding me right now? Are you?
Starting point is 00:34:49 It was hard when I did it down there. Yeah. So I might not be perfect on it, and I might still. I'll keep an eye on it. So bear with me, but I, you know, just to let you know. I've never talked about this. You read some of these ads. You should do, like instead of where your microwave goes, you should just put bricks.
Starting point is 00:35:16 Oh, yeah. Just brick it up. That'd be pretty fun. Just brick it up. That would be, I think it sets a tone for when people walk in the house. Yeah. And they go, is that brick? And you go, well, in theory.
Starting point is 00:35:27 You go, microwave. Yeah, taking a hard stance against it. Hard stance against it. Yeah, we're just getting started. He goes, we're just getting started. He goes, yeah. Yeah, I like that. Just pick up a brick and touch it.
Starting point is 00:35:39 And they go, what's that? I go, it's my phone. Yeah, I don't believe in anything. I was at my mom's house yesterday. She has a microwave from the 80s, and she had duct tape on it to keep the heat from getting out. All right. I was like, why do you have duct tape? She's like, ah, some of it was leaking, so.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Wow. You're leaking heat. Why don't you buy her a new microwave for Christmas? I know. I was thinking about that story, and I was like, you'll suggest that. And you're right. She doesn't want anything new. She showed her how to forward an email yesterday, so suggest that. And you're right. She doesn't want anything new.
Starting point is 00:36:08 She showed her how to forward an email yesterday, so that's pretty exciting. All right. That's nice. She had to chain the email to forward. She had to forward it to 10 people in under an hour. Yeah. This is a lot of work, but I don't want to die. And I went to Nashville, so I got a Nashville soccer jersey on and a hat. It was a Nashville soccer game with my brother.
Starting point is 00:36:31 And we said in their suite, his company, G-O-D, like they actually got a place, and it was awesome. And that stadium's awesome. Was that your first time going to a game? Yeah. That stadium was very cool. I saw your video. That stadium was awesome.
Starting point is 00:36:52 The intro is crazy. The field looks different every time the lights go off and on. I've never seen that before, and I was like, that's such a cool... I thought that was edited video. No, no. It's just how the lights would make it go. I've never seen that before and I was like that's such a cool I thought that was edited video no no it's just how the lights would make it go yeah
Starting point is 00:37:08 Vandy was supposed to I think play there that would have been awesome if Vandy played there yeah they were talking about yeah that would have been it just would be such a different football stadium
Starting point is 00:37:15 like it would be you know it's just a different kind of thing but that place was super cool and they won
Starting point is 00:37:23 beat Austin, who apparently is number two, is a big win for Nashville soccer. Nice. So, yeah, I think I can get into soccer. I'm going to try. I don't know how the sport works, so I'd have to learn it. It's all feet only. I got a basic idea of it.
Starting point is 00:37:42 Okay. You can use your hands if you're out of bounds, and you've got to throw it back in. And if you're the keeper. If you're the keeper, but only if you have gloves on. Right. You have to wear gloves. I don't know if you have to wear gloves.
Starting point is 00:37:52 I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. But you have a different shirt. So. A little padding. It'd be like, that's what they would tell you. Aaron, I can't touch it with my hand. You're like, Aaron, do you look like you're the only one wearing that?
Starting point is 00:38:04 Or do you see other people wearing that? And you're like,aron do you look like you're the only one wearing that or do you see other people wearing that and you're like well a lot of us have the same shirt on it because then you can't touch it with your hands right the keeper you know about the goalie yeah okay is that what it's called the keeper i think real soccer people will call it a keeper but back in the day we called it a goalie yeah the goalkeeper is what and it was always the big kid they always wanted it to be the big kid when i was playing and it's like does that make him better at keeping them well it's it's it's he's if he's bigger he can it's harder to it's his bigger body in the net yeah i think there's less space to score yeah but a big fat guy they weren't that big like if they go i mean you got
Starting point is 00:38:41 to use a door and you wouldn't be like we'll just use the doggy door and you're like well let's use a regular door like that's a at least a better chance yeah it's like that yeah soccer is a game of inches man i think you take anything any kind of advantage you can get is that what they say about soccer i don't know they say it about football yeah it's uh i don't think soccer it's it's it's a long field. Game of yards. Yeah, it's a game of running. And, but I, like, it's kind of like, I kind of enjoy watching it. Like, it was, you know, I mean, we scored, we won 3-0. But you get over the scoring because you just kind of like the, you know, it's kind of a nice, it feels like it's kind of calm.
Starting point is 00:39:22 It's like back and forth. And then once they get down there, it's like, it it's just like rapid it can become rapid fire of them trying to score and you're like ah like it's uh it's pleasant i watched one on tv recently too and i just caught myself just like really i almost like not like not having the fast pace was nice it was slowed down baseball's like that yeah yeah really slowing it down really slowing it down really slowing it i always felt like the people that i knew that like soccer were people that like used to follow the band fish and i just felt like they transferred that energy into soccer they go you should get into sports and you're all right and they're like
Starting point is 00:40:01 not that you chose the wrong one yeah yeah they go you let me choose anything right yeah yeah that could be it yeah it was fun i enjoyed it vanderbilt's two and oh vanderbilt's two and oh i mean we are rolling all right got a good matchup this week against wake forest we're gonna see uh we're gonna really see it we gotta work on getting college game day to come back to nashville and have you be the guest picker yeah yeah that'd be great yeah i mean i think it should be what's a bigger game this weekend than vanderbilt wake in college game day to come back to Nashville and have you be the guest picker. Yeah, I agree. I think it should be, what's a bigger game this weekend than Vanderbilt-Wake Forest? I don't know. That's the only one I'm interested in.
Starting point is 00:40:32 That's a huge career milestone, would it be? To be the guest picker on college game day? That would be awesome. You've got to be pretty famous, though. Sometimes they have some. Yeah. Nashville's going to have a lot of country didn't variety magazine call you america's favorite comedian that is true i mean but i mean how famous does it get yeah it gets a little more yeah it's uh you know
Starting point is 00:40:59 uh yeah i mean the people they usually get, they're pretty big. Yeah, Brad Paisley or somebody like that. Does the SEC Network, do they have a guest picker? I don't know. I don't know how that works. They don't? Well, that's what I was going to say. I did Paul Feinbaum's show once.
Starting point is 00:41:16 Oh, that's big. You call it in Alabama? No, it was here. It was at Vanderbilt. They were doing it, and I went down there and did it. Yeah. Listen to Feinbaum a lot in Alabama. I love Feinbaum.
Starting point is 00:41:30 Feinbaum was always on, just people embarrassing our state, but I was so into it. Yeah. Screaming. I took a lot of pride in those people. Yelling, screaming. Yeah. I'm into it.
Starting point is 00:41:41 I was like, that's my mom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like you's my mom yeah like yeah yeah yeah it seems like you gotta yeah you gotta be like your emotions are really getting going over something you gotta go like all right let me let me think about something like how am i so mad let me sleep on it yeah that's what you should especially when you're the older you get you gotta just go like all right i'm i mean these
Starting point is 00:42:02 could be my children yeah i need to i need to reel it in a little bit you know yeah yeah that's i mean but you know i'm not trying to give an opinion do whatever you want to do yeah i saw i was listening to fine bomb one time and they had had a guest uh guest host i guess the week before and and that guest host was still in with fine bomb and people would just call in and just trash that guy. And I'm like, he's still in the room here. I don't know. They don't care.
Starting point is 00:42:29 Yeah. I was like, take it. They were like, he was talking about music. We want to talk about football. And it's like, the guy was, you know, he's talking about what he knows. What's funny is the radio callers are almost like the first internet commenters. Yes. Yeah. And no one takes the radio callers are almost like the first internet commenters. Yes, yeah. And no one takes the radio callers that seriously.
Starting point is 00:42:49 No one outside of... You know what I mean? Those guys do, but it's like, yeah, they're able to kind of brush it off, but we take the comments. Because they stay. I don't think it's just stay, because I don't think a regular person's ever dealt with that. A radio personality is like, yeah, dude, people call and hope i die every day yeah and like they they say the craziest stuff and they're mad we don't do exactly what they want us to do they're probably pretty
Starting point is 00:43:13 used to it yeah but then now like video comments or well it's a person that's not used to it is you can just have a video go viral and you're like a guy that works at FedEx and then you're like the country wants you to die yeah and you're like oh this is great you know it's like now everybody gets a piece of that action where it used to be just right yeah I guess I was thinking about like if you call in and just trash a player unless that player is listening on the radio that moment he can't or in the studio he ain't gonna react but if you radio that moment he can't, or in the studio, he ain't going to react. But if you tweet about him, he can go home that night and then reply whenever.
Starting point is 00:43:50 Yeah. Now they capture it on the radio though and put it on Twitter. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. So you're going to hear it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:58 And they're not a fan. You know, we were listening one time when two sports guys on 104.5 got in an argument with each other. Oh, yeah. It was a great one. That was fun. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:11 They, it's, it's, yeah. Yeah, look, sports talk's great. It's like, but I don't listen to, it's, I don't listen to music. I used to love it. It's pretty lame now, though. Listen to the words. Oh, yeah. Sports talk.
Starting point is 00:44:24 I don't even listen to the words of sports talk. I listen to the vibe I used to love it. It's pretty lame now, though. Sports talk. I don't even listen to the words of sports talk. I listen to the vibe of it. Yeah. I'm just like, what are they talking about? I just feel the energy, dude. I go, I don't know. They're not happy. I know that.
Starting point is 00:44:34 Yeah. Someone's mad about something. Speaking of Vanderbilt, stop me if I'm jumping the gun here, but I want to talk through this parlay, this bet I made. Well, I would imagine you're jumping the gun uh if you want to say what we're going to talk about we're talking about gambling yeah all right that's like i mean i want people to realize that you're like am i jumping the gun here and you go oh what do you want to talk about i'd like to talk about gambling a little bit and And today's topic is gambling.
Starting point is 00:45:07 I didn't know if this would be a way to ease into it. I think it would be. You're right. I don't think you would ask, tell me if I'm jumping the gun. You would just go, hey, I know our topic today. I have something that goes along with it. Well, you are jumping the gun. I'm excited.
Starting point is 00:45:19 I'm sorry. I wanted to mention that we had our fantasy football draft this weekend. Let them get it out. It's a bunch of seven-year-olds doing fantasy football. Go ahead, Brian. Yeah. It's our 27th year doing it. That's how I was going to say it. Two years longer than fantasy football has been going.
Starting point is 00:45:33 I did look up. I thought, we might have one of the oldest leagues there is. And fantasy football, it started back in the 60s. Really? Oh, wow. Some guy invented it back in the 60s and really took off in the 80s with rotisserie baseball you guys remember that yeah that's just another word for fantasy baseball right it is but
Starting point is 00:45:50 it's called rotisserie league oh i feel like i've seen that yeah yeah um but are you one of the old i mean what's the oldest fantasy league well so some guy who was part owner of the raiders started it in 1962 they're on a cross-country trip, and they're like, you know, it'd be fun if we just picked our own players. And they started a league in Oakland in the 60s. And then the 80s, some guy started one on the East Coast. It just gradually – it took off. It blew up in the 90s once the internet started.
Starting point is 00:46:20 But it's been around in some fashion for a long time. So, no, we're not one of the – we're the oldest one of anyone I know that – there's a Nate Land Fantasy Football League now. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, we all got our own league. Oh, yeah? All right.
Starting point is 00:46:34 Yeah. Do I have one? Yeah. Well, there's Aaron Land right there. Here's the Aaron Land League. Oh, I hate fantasy football. These names are very funny. Oh, there's people in it.
Starting point is 00:46:42 Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. McCole's Butcher. We got Steaming Hot, The Unbelievable Penguins. How about it? The Tearshares. I don't understand what's going on. Arizona Triangles.
Starting point is 00:46:54 These are references to previous episodes. These are things that they've named their teams. We do a podcast. Yeah. I like the Arizona Triangles. I like that too. Here's Nateland. Cutlery.
Starting point is 00:47:07 Civilian stations. The Wilson County Fairs. Team Vandy. I like that. Wilson County Fairs. Oh, that's super fun. Here's Dusty Town. We got Bible Talk.
Starting point is 00:47:19 Okay. Area 51 Conspiracy. All right. Okay. High 51, Conspiracy. All right. Yee-yee. Okay. Yee. Highlands Heroes. HOA Trash Skippers.
Starting point is 00:47:30 This is a good fantasy league right here. These are so great. Well, this is actually getting me into it now. I've always hated it. Yee-yee. Frozen Candy Bar Concussion. My sister will love that. Team Bayside of those.
Starting point is 00:47:43 Yeah. All right. Okay. Now we're're talking and then we got batesville not enough players nosebleed seats bob ripple pants according to this not bob ripple pants the lebanon squirrels spring break warriors That's a great one. Oh, that's really good. According to this. Yeah. That's a good one. I like the Wilson County CPAPs. They're all great.
Starting point is 00:48:11 I'm rooting for you. This is fun. Thank you all for doing this. I'm into this. Yeah. We're keeping an eye on them. We'll see how they're doing. Yeah, that was created on the Facebook fan page.
Starting point is 00:48:22 Oh. Yeah, we're due. Yeah. All right. That's fun. Yeah, that was created on the Facebook fan page. Oh. Yeah, we're due. Yeah. All right. That's fun. And Nate Landman made the 53-man roster. All right.
Starting point is 00:48:31 Yeah. So he's on the team. He's on the team. So we'll keep up with him. That's amazing. Yeah. Nate Landman. We built him in our lab.
Starting point is 00:48:42 Apparently there's a UFC fighter people have told me about. It's called Nate Land... What was his last name? It's Nate Land something. I can't remember, but it's very similar. And he's from Clarksville. Landwear? No, Nate Landwear. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:48:54 He's from Clarksville? I believe so, yeah. That's eight wins. That could be the clothing line. What's his record? Nate Landwear. His record is 16 and four. Wow, he's in the UFC?
Starting point is 00:49:03 Eight wins by knockout. When's he fight? His nickname's knockout. When's he fight? His nickname's The Train. Oh, last fight. He just had his last fight. Yeah. And I have that same tattoo on my shoulder. The Train.
Starting point is 00:49:14 I've got the one at the bottom. What does that say? I don't even know. I don't know. It just says Bates. Bates? That looks like Bates. Yeah. It would be ifates. Bates? That looks like Bates. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:26 It would be if it's Bates' brother, you know, or it looks like Bates' son. Went from my brother to my son real quick. Well,
Starting point is 00:49:35 I was like, brother, I got him. I'm not being that nice. Yeah, it's his son. That's fun. The train.
Starting point is 00:49:44 They call him the train I'm rooting for him Sponsor him Root for the train Yeah so Go ahead I don't want to jump the gun here But I made this bet
Starting point is 00:49:51 This morning So here's the It's a three leg parlay Let's start with You have a gambling problem Oh huge problem Yeah Alright
Starting point is 00:49:59 This is This is Vanderbilt to win The national championship And The Braves win the World Series, and the Titans win the Super Bowl. I bet $2.
Starting point is 00:50:12 Okay? Now, if all those three things happen, I will win $792,000. That's crazy. Wow. That's worth it for $2. For $2, that is worth it. We'll see what happens. That is worth it.
Starting point is 00:50:24 I'm against gambling, but that's worth it. Well, those parlays is how they get you. Exactly. They want you to do the parlays. They make the odds so incredible, you're like, oh, that's worth it. And it is if it pays off. The payout's insane. But they know you're not going to, one of them's going to be wrong.
Starting point is 00:50:39 I mean, no offense, but I think Vanderbilt's really bringing that down. Yeah, those are plus 100,000 odds. That's what's really making it. I mean, I'm a big fan of Vanderbilt's really bringing that down. Yeah, those are plus 100,000 odds. That's what's really making it. I mean, I'm a big fan of Vanderbilt. I love them, but I think that's – they've got a tough schedule. Yeah. Yeah, they've got a tough road ahead. They've got a tough schedule, but we'll be all right.
Starting point is 00:50:56 Well, I was going to jump ahead here. Somebody bet last year on FanDuel, AFC and NFC championship game, they guessed the score exactly right on both. And it paid $290,000 to one odds. So they bet $20 and won $580,000. Wow. All right. Big payout for the government, too, on that one.
Starting point is 00:51:20 Yeah. Yeah. The government goes yes phil mickelson bet in 2001 he bet the giants to win the super now the ravens win the super bowl and the diamondbacks to win the world series and they both won he won like eighty thousand dollars or something it's a lot of work that you have to go to like the ones that do get this correct i I'd imagine it's got to take over your life, which would be where the addiction probably comes in. Right. You have to be just obsessed with it.
Starting point is 00:51:54 Yeah, imagine if you put that effort into just a career. Yeah. What might happen? Well, Phil's doing all right. Well, Phil, yes, yes. But in these type, I think these you just sit back and you're really just waiting until the championship
Starting point is 00:52:09 to even know, you know, if you're win or lose. Where some of these, like baseball, fantasy league, you're keeping up every day. Yeah, that's a full-time job. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not in a fantasy football league.
Starting point is 00:52:22 I haven't been for the past few years. Jicks, it's like, it's a whole thing. And you're like, I don't even, I forget about it. I'm just taking a spot from someone that would want to play. Yeah. And I do want, the idea of it, you kind of want to play. Like I was, you know, you think like, ah, I'd like to, it'd be fun to do it. You know, like you get some friends and some friends, but then it's just like,
Starting point is 00:52:46 I'm going to just be annoyed. The draft, too. That's a whole... When that happens, it takes your whole night up. But people that love it. You have your group. I do love that.
Starting point is 00:53:02 We get together once a year. It's like a catch-up also. It's like we get together once a year. It's like a catch-up also. So it's fun. Yeah. What did you do when you got fired from the – or not when you quit. I didn't get fired. Your catch-up was – you got canceled. You were one of the first ones that ever got canceled.
Starting point is 00:53:19 Yeah. No, you quit your day job. But that was a catch-up you go back in you're like yeah yeah yeah yeah those guys see each other every day because it's guys i used to work with yeah oh okay and laura hinkle well yeah she's not in her fantasy league but laura hinkle used to work there and she grew up with a dusty yeah working at channel five she's the first person to tell me about Dusty. And to her credit, she's the only one that's ever told me anyone I care about.
Starting point is 00:53:50 Because everyone else is like, hey, I know a guy who does comedy. You know what I'm talking about. And it always ends up just being somebody who did an open mic one time. Right. Oh, yeah. At a sports bar. They've never tried it again. And I remember telling me, she's like, I got a friend named Dusty Slay who does comedy.
Starting point is 00:54:04 And he's in Charleston now. And I'm like'm like i don't care i guarantee you he's not guarantee this dude stinks yeah and i was right but but i got better i worked it i worked on it yeah yeah i mean i got watched him more like rusty slay yeah he knocks him i had a guy after a show once, he goes, man, he goes, man, my uncle's a funny man too. I go, oh, does he do comedy? What's his name? He's like, ah, no, he's just funny. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:32 I go, that's pretty awesome, dude. Yeah. Hopefully we'll bump into each other at some point. Yeah, just a couple of funny minds. Just got some good stories, dude. Mm-hmm. What's the one profession, like, if your dad, what he does, nobody goes up to him afterwards and is like, oh, I could do all that.
Starting point is 00:54:46 Because nobody knows how he does it. I think they would go up to him, though, and, you know, be like, they're trying to figure it out. Yeah. Like, it's this, you know, someone's like, nah, I saw what he was doing. Like, it's like they're trying to, it's a lot of that. I could see that. Or if someone plays an instrument or something,
Starting point is 00:55:00 either you know how to do it or you don't. But we've all made our friends laugh. So I think everybody kind of thinks they could do well everybody is funny i mean everybody can be funny everybody tries to be funny but you see it you see it when you the difference of a professional comic and uh not is it's a pretty big difference if you really look at it you can see you know it's like as i think as a comic you see people laugh at jokes so you're like they're just doing an easy kind of joke like they're they're being funny it's an easy way that they're being funny or they're making a very obvious joke and you're like i don't know like you see a lot of because i think people like try to sell comedy now like so a lot of people
Starting point is 00:55:41 that are not in comedy but they you know it could be like a writer or something, tries to be, you know, I'm the funny writer. And you're like, well, it's a different thing. I think that guy, though, thinks his uncle's funnier than Aaron. Probably. The maddest I ever got, I was at an open mic in Nashville, Belcourt Taps. And they used to always do a mic after the writers round where these musicians would play songs. And then they'd sit in the back after and watch the open mic some of them and a friend of mine was just bombing on stage and it was like
Starting point is 00:56:11 the room wasn't paying attention he's just bombing and i'm listening to these musicians just talk and they're like and one guy goes i feel like i could do better just off the dome up there and i was just steaming furious at these guys being steaming hot yeah i was like no you couldn't you couldn't do better off the dome yeah you musician furious dude i drove home 100 miles an hour i was so mad these guys wow i couldn't say anything about like you guys are such idiots you don't know what you're talking about well that's the thing when you're a musician you're like you you play a song everybody claps for you and then in between songs you'll drop a little joke and everybody laughs and now
Starting point is 00:56:51 you think that you're hilarious because the pressure's off you're not up there to be funny right like everyone would applaud if i told a joke and then like hit some great guitar chords they'd be like whoa guitar too yeah but the musician would be like that's easy exactly stairway to heaven it's like nine minutes long what's the between jokes what's the raisin song the uh heard it to the grapevine yeah yeah that was the right california. Yeah, California Raisin Song. Oh, okay. What made you think of that one? Because it's super long.
Starting point is 00:57:28 And so we've done it like playing cards on the road. And I've had, it's a super long song. And so I've had it, it's playing like on the speaker. Yeah. And then I'll just kind of be keeping an eye on everybody i know everybody's kind of talking not paying attention i'll just start it again and so i've done i started it one one time it was i mean it was like it's kind of like melanie's joke like replaying it but it was uh i did it where it was i mean maybe 27 minutes and you just and no one's saying because
Starting point is 00:58:02 it gets where they stop talking and they just start playing the music. Yeah. And so you can kind of just restart it. And you have no idea. And I mean, I just watch them and they're like, finally, someone's like, hell, is this song? But it was like 27 minutes or something that song played. And I just kept quietly. I just would wait till everybody kind of got like, oh, they got talking. And you're like, are you kidding me?
Starting point is 00:58:23 Just hit it then and then. And then it just, it's back in it. You have no idea. It's a jam, too. I mean, it is. It's a fun one to try to do. Yeah. Like, to see how long, you know.
Starting point is 00:58:33 I mean, it's Mulaney's Joke where you talk about playing that song. I did that at, I don't know if Mulaney's Joke, I did that at Donaldson Bowl once on the jukebox. I put in Barracuda like 10 straight times. Yeah. And about after the fifth or sixth time, just people look around
Starting point is 00:58:47 like, this song again? That's, yeah, his joke is, you never heard that Mulaney joke that goes to the diner? It's a really great joke. It's a great joke.
Starting point is 00:58:54 He plays, what's up, pussycat? Uh, uh, I think that's the song. By like Neil Diamond or something, yeah. Yeah, and just keeps doing it and then goes through
Starting point is 00:59:01 watching everybody. They just did it a bunch. Yeah. Yeah. And then after like four or five. They just did it a bunch. Yeah. And then after like four or five times, he slipped in another song. Yeah. Just so they would all go, ah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:11 And after that, he played it again. And where are they at? Just some diner. Oh, a diner. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy that bars, I've always thought it was crazy that bars let the patrons control the song. It's crazy to me that they let you do that because it's so important to the vibe of the bar, the tone.
Starting point is 00:59:32 We've talked before on this podcast about how it influences behavior in the bar. And we just let patrons control it. It's a gamble. It's crazy to me. It is a gamble. I think a jukebox is what drives some people to. They will go because of a jukebox. Because it's like, I've got to pick some songs,
Starting point is 00:59:50 so you go up there and you pick some songs, and then you pick some songs, and it makes it fun. It does make it fun, but it can also do what we're describing. Somebody can ruin the night for everybody. That's the game you're playing. I stopped at a Waffle House recently, and I was the only one in there, and I sat at the bar, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody can ruin the night for everybody. That's the game you're playing. Yeah. You know?
Starting point is 01:00:08 I stopped at a Waffle House recently, and I was the only one in there. And I sat at the bar. And because I was the only one in there, the staff, there was like five of them. They had nothing to do once they brought me my food. So they just stood there and just kind of stared out the window. It was, where else are you going to stare? But I'm just eating, and there's just five people just kind of looking my exact direction
Starting point is 01:00:28 you're sitting at the bar yeah sitting at the bar and they're just kind of looking it was just so awkward I love that you
Starting point is 01:00:35 go in there and it's empty and you take the bar seat I would for sure get both really yeah did you play a jukebox
Starting point is 01:00:43 or we're just not talking about jukebox anymore? Well, they always have a jukebox in my whole house And at that moment, I'm like, I wish I had a quarter to go play I'm surprised you didn't have a quarter I usually do Some hard candy Rattles and things
Starting point is 01:00:59 You guys break a quarter? Two dimes and a nickel, please. Can y'all break a half dollar? You got two quarters up there? And they go, what? You have a half dollar? I only got silver dollars, half dollars. Also, I think it's been a while since you played the jukebox.
Starting point is 01:01:18 I don't think we're getting quarter songs anymore with the jukebox. They're expensive now. Bars, everyone has the app on their phone you know can be like a dollar oh because you can you can pay with credit card too on your phone yeah well they do it uh yeah that could get you know uh i had it you do i had to get air in my tire this weekend and so they have it where you can just do your phone and you can do like apple pay or you can put a credit card in or whatever that's kind of but i went to get air and i'm talking about something not jukebox related now uh but there was a jukebox there but it's i go to get air you know when you go get air you're the odds of someone getting air are
Starting point is 01:01:58 basically zero it's just zero you know the air is always open yeah no one's ever there yeah and i try to get air three times and had to and and had to go to a different place i go to this one this lady's getting air i kind of brush that one off i'm like all right whatever yeah and we then we drive all the way over to this other one and air is empty i start pulling up and a guy backs a lawnmower and he's and then we're like, is he just going to block it? He gets out. He needs air. I go to another one.
Starting point is 01:02:29 There's a guy there. Just got out of his – I mean, I'm pulling up. Like, it was like a time that they just – a sound went off. It was like, everybody go get air now. And you're like – after three times, you're like, well, what do you want me to – like, how are this many people getting air? I had to get air this morning. Oh, yeah. And i really did think it was gonna be like a quarter yeah last time i got air it's a dollar 50 yeah for what like 90 seconds probably like not even that i had a tire it's a long it feels like it's long okay i got around to all tires it's not like
Starting point is 01:03:01 the vacuum yeah i think you got got to be ready, though. It's like, go take this stuff. I did it with, I showed Harper. I go, Harper, get out. I'm going to show you how to put air in a tire. Yeah, you've got to have all the things screwed off before you're ready. I was like, you've got to be ready. I go, this can't be a don't get out, put it in,
Starting point is 01:03:19 and then think about what you're going to do. You just wasted a good minute of your air. That's a nickel's worth. Now you have 96 seconds. It's not the time for an Instagram story. No. You got to.
Starting point is 01:03:29 Don't Instagram story putting the change in. Do you know how lazy I am? I had a tire losing air and for probably two months I filled it up every day at the gas station because it would lose air.
Starting point is 01:03:42 Instead of getting it changed? I'd drive out here to the podcast. I'd fill up at that gas station close to your house, and then I'd fill it up there again on the way out because it had lost so much air. And then I'd fill it up before I got home. I just did all that rather than just get a new tire. See, that's actually not lazy.
Starting point is 01:03:58 I mean, that's more work than – I thought you were going to agree how lazy I was that you just pulled into a tire discount, and then they go, do you want to get out? You go, no. And then you sit there, and you just talk to them from the car and said, my tire's flat. It's that front one.
Starting point is 01:04:16 They're trying to jack it up with you in it. And they're like, golly, two jacks out there. They go, one jack's for your side. jacks out there they go one jacks for your side but i think it's a laziness of like uh i know where the air is yeah but like getting a new tire that's a whole thing the lazy it's the laziness of you like you got to go talk you don't have to talk to anybody to keep right you're doing this right and the laziness of that you got to i gotta go be involved yeah i i understand that i mean you're like i'd rather just... Yeah, I got to drive there.
Starting point is 01:04:47 What are you going to do? Keep my car? You're going to blah, blah. You're like, I'd rather just have a wreck on the road, tire flies off, and then I got to walk to the next exit alone. Yeah. And you would rather risk that.
Starting point is 01:05:00 Yeah, that's the gamble. And then you'd be okay with it. If it happened, you'd be like... It was worth it. I made my own my own that's what gambling's all about yeah that is the gamble all right good segue dusty so this weekend kicks off the biggest time of year for sports betting um first weekend of nfl football season It is blown up in the last few years because in 2018, the Supreme Court ruled that states. This is Supreme Court, but.
Starting point is 01:05:31 We've done this episode of Supreme Court. Go watch that one. Supreme Court ruled that states, individual states could do online sports gambling in 2018. Before then, I think it was just nevada they could do it but um new jersey like followed a lawsuit and went all the way supreme court supreme court rule so now 30 states can do online sports gambling and uh so now it's just blown up where all these online apps fan duel draft kings all DraftKings, all that.
Starting point is 01:06:06 You see commercials for it. The NFL now promotes it. You see point spreads mentioned in telecast and stuff like that. They were all against it, but now they're all for it because they see the money that's going to be made in it. And then fantasy sports is blown up too. There was two Major League Baseball players that got in a fight earlier this year. Yeah, that was awesome. Over fantasy football. Yeah, that's crazy. One guy slapped another guy because the guy cheated or something in fantasy football, right?
Starting point is 01:06:30 Yeah, wasn't Mike Trout the commissioner of that fantasy league or something? I think so. How do you cheat in fantasy football? I guess if Mike Trout wasn't keeping the rules straight. Oh, it was like a trade or something, right? I think so. Yeah. Yeah, Tommy Pham slapped Jock Peterson during batting practice.
Starting point is 01:06:49 Over that. It was pretty fun. Yeah. All right. So now over 46 million people play fantasy sports in America. Wow. That's a lot. That's a lot.
Starting point is 01:06:59 I bet all that money is going to go to good stuff. Where does the money go? Oh, to the company if they don't. Yeah, and then I guess the states get the sales tax on it. Yeah. And I don't know how they, I guess they can just track where you're doing it at because you have to play it in your state.
Starting point is 01:07:17 Like in Tennessee, if you're a resident of Tennessee, you can't go to another state and play, they said. And do what? Do online gambling. Like you need to be in your state. I think you can. You've got to be in a state that play, they said. And do what? Do online gambling. Like you need to be in your state. I think you can. You've got to be in a state that allows it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:30 If you're not in a state that allows it, it won't let you do it. Or you use a VPN, you know. What is that? Is that what you do? What is that? You can use a VPN to assume an IP address from a different part of the world. Oh. But if you go to Kentucky.
Starting point is 01:07:44 Oh, that's what then people have been doing that's how they were doing all again when it was all illegal maybe yeah maybe I don't want to give people instructions I'm sure you're the only one that's figured this out so I don't know I don't know that's why yeah maybe I don't jump the gun yeah yeah. If you go to Kentucky and did online gambling there, would you have to pay sales tax in Kentucky if you won? I don't know. I bet so.
Starting point is 01:08:12 Yeah. Why would you go somewhere else to play online? I just mean if you're on the road. Say you're on the road and you're at Comedy Off-Broadway and you're in your hotel room bored. Yeah. And you want to gamble. I think you would be registered, though. Yeah. I don't know. i i don't know i don't know how fun this is to talk about
Starting point is 01:08:29 so i just pictured you driving across the border to gamble for no reason yeah you gotta buy a lottery ticket and you gotta drive over well that's what i used to do growing up you know in alabama you had to be 19 to buy cigarettes and we didn't have lottery in alabama so when we were 18 we would drive to georgia and buy lottery tickets and cigarettes oh you'd go back to the trailer scratch them off yeah you know you could smoke cigarettes at 18 but you couldn't buy them till you were 19 we could smoke them at any age, really. I don't know if that's true. Just if anybody's listening. Yeah, I mean, you know, don't do it.
Starting point is 01:09:12 But we were doing it. Yeah. And, yeah, I mean, you had, yeah, legally you couldn't buy them in Alabama until 19. Right. All right. But every other state, because people, I met people. Funny enough, it feels like Alabama is the place where most kids smoke. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:26 That's probably why they made it 19, because they were like, we got a giant problem. We got to try to lock this guy up. Because we got too many kids. But gambling is illegal in Alabama. No lottery, but they have the dog track there. I've already talked about this. The guy named Butch that was there helping people pick numbers. That's the kind of guy I'm talking about that, like, if he put that effort into, like, a career,
Starting point is 01:09:49 he would have probably done something great. He was probably 15 teeth away from that. You know what I mean? He needed it. Like, this is the only job he could have. Yeah. Right. Well, it's, you know, I think I've talked about that girl.
Starting point is 01:10:03 That girl that was, like, could have been an Olympic star, then she became a big drug lord like it's like someone that's like got greatness in them it doesn't matter where they're going to use it and if they you know they and uh i would think greatness is about obsession and so obsession is like you got to obsess and you got to be kind of like obsessed enough that you never get tired of obsessing over it. And then that's where you then, because that's where it's the 10,000 hour, that kind of idea. You got to do something that you would be like willing to do.
Starting point is 01:10:33 So, I mean, they, they, they probably have the mentality or they have the drive to go do that. But like this dude just into like, uh, you know,
Starting point is 01:10:42 he's, he can't let other vices get out. Other stuff gets in the way or whatever it is. And then he becomes just obsessed with the dog truck. Thinks about it probably all day. You think you need to be competitive too? You think that plays a role in it? I mean, you do, but it's like different.
Starting point is 01:11:00 Because in comedy we could be, we're competitive. I've been very competitive and you do it i think you do it kind of quietly you do it in your own head uh and you're like well even though it's like a subjective there's no really rhyme or reason to it but you just see someone someone gets something you think i should be getting that and you're like well then i've you know but i would take it as like well i gotta work harder to make sure that I cannot be denied that because I'm like, I've built my status up so much. And, you know, whether at the beginning it was like, that's what I would do. And so it's like, I don't, it's not like, you know, it's a good, my buddy Doug said, which is a great thing.
Starting point is 01:11:39 You don't need someone to lose for you to win. someone to lose for you to win like yeah so it's like competitiveness is i know like in the in sports you do but in in in general to get where you need to go you don't need that person to go down for you to go up it's not a zero sum game yeah it's like i don't know yeah is that what that means exactly oh yeah it's like uh yeah so you just and that's how you got to think of it you got to think i don't i like gosh i wish that person didn't get that and so like i wish something would happen to them so they don't get it that's a horrible way to think because now you're even rooting for someone else well the only thing you can control is you so you need to go well i need to get up so then they can't even deny me.
Starting point is 01:12:25 I can go stand there eye to eye with them and they go like, yeah, you're supposed to be here too. Because you've done, maybe I had to do more work than that person did. That's just what happens. And that extra work pays off. Like even featuring in clubs. I remember featuring and people would come up to me sometimes and they would go, oh man, you should have been the headliner. And it's like, well, the headliner is not keeping me. It's not like they were like, oh, it's either that guy or this guy.
Starting point is 01:12:50 And then, you know, it's like, you know, they put in the work. They're there. I'm happy to be where I'm at. But it's like, they would go, oh, and they act like they're keeping me from doing it. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, people are trying to be nice, trying to say something like, it's like, but yeah, the headlinerers do an hour.
Starting point is 01:13:05 Like there's a lot of different options. The middle spot is usually the best spot because it's like there's nothing to do with it. It's the sweet spots. It's kind of a perfect kind of thing. Yeah. But it's, yeah, it's like, yeah, you don't, someone doesn't have to go down. I mean, I took that to heart. And then you hear them go to the host and be like, hey, you should be the feature.
Starting point is 01:13:26 And you go, golly, dude. And the headliner, what does the headliner do? He goes, you should be in theaters. He goes, I mean... This guy's just building people up. He's tearing people down. This guy's awesome. What about people in the audience? Oh, they should have been the host.
Starting point is 01:13:42 He goes, everybody did great. Well, I was going to say say you do a great job of striving for greatness you are a great comedian and a great golfer because you really put in the work into it you're a lot you're below average in a lot of things but yeah the things you really focus on you're really well you have you have drive. Yeah. Drive is, but it's also a mentality too. I, I mean, my,
Starting point is 01:14:09 I strive for average. That's my problem. I, when I'm on a showcase show, I'm not thinking I want to be the best. I'm off. Usually thinking, I just don't want to be the worst guy on this show.
Starting point is 01:14:18 Everything in my life is just, I went to middle Tennessee state. It has it in the name. I'm not a college dropout. I didn't go to Notre Dame. Everything's just average. But it's a mentality that you do strive for greatness. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:31 Yeah. I mean, it's, yeah, you got to, you know, you got to have, like, you want all of these things. And then so you got to be like, well, how do I get them? It makes it easier. Like, almost to be like, well, how do I get them? It makes it easier, like almost to be like this is how. And like it's like things that are, you know, like, I mean, they're kind of whatever. Like it's like it could be some kind of like materialistic kind of things that you're like, I want this. Or maybe it's a status you want.
Starting point is 01:14:58 Or it's, you know, I want to be like, you know, I remember just wanting to be able to not have to take an uber at the airport i wanted to be able to somehow get to a place where if i get off the plane they have my name on it and it was like just because it was like i you know that's a lot better when that happens yeah it's like why when you do years and years of like where's the you know i'm either taking a cab you gotta find the uber thing and there's everybody up there and like all this you're doing it every single week like you just little things that you're like god if i can get just a guy that's like all that stuff's done and then i just go to him and then i get in the car and so like that would be that's like one of the things and so you're striving for like well i have to get to
Starting point is 01:15:37 a level to do that and now i could it's like you can go broke and lie to yourself that you can afford it or you got to get to a level where either someone's providing that for you or you can afford to go do it. And you just do little stuff like that. You're like, all right, now I'm there. And you know if I get to that, then that answers a lot of questions on the other side too. So if I'm at that level, that means I'm higher up as a comic.
Starting point is 01:16:01 So all the people I've competed competed with maybe I'm past a few of them now or I'm at least with the ones that were dry you know that you're like we're like how to get there and you put the goal maybe not on the it's it's it's like it doesn't and I still have a hard time that's why I was talking to Doug but I still have a hard time I don't need to be putting stuff on it's not about that other person. It's not about, you know, it's not about, you know, like, it's not about the same thing, not talking about all the, like, I mean, I don't think this council is talking as. No.
Starting point is 01:16:32 No. But it's like. Well, I don't know what you're about to say. Yeah. I go, all right. Well, I don't think women should vote. So is that too much? No.
Starting point is 01:16:42 I think, look, I think only women should vote. I don't know. I'll do whatever you want. Let's have dogs vote. They just walk in. We have two doors. They walk in one, and whatever dog walks in the most gets in. And they're – no, but it's like they're – what was I saying? You were about to tell us something that you don't think.
Starting point is 01:17:02 The secret to comedy? Yeah, I was about to say, what was I about to say? I don't know. You were talking about, I really don't know. Well, I could say about people. I don't necessarily need people to come down and see me go up, but I know you talked about this a bit, but it's like seeing people that are above you
Starting point is 01:17:21 and then just on your own, suddenly you're like past them for whatever reason is very satisfying now it's not satisfying because they're not where you're at but just to see your own progress yeah to be like oh i remember looking up to that person and now i feel like my career is better than that yeah and it's very satisfying it feels good it's not about them at all but it's very satisfying. It feels good. It feels good. And it's not about them at all, but it's just a... And I think you should go tell them. Yeah, yeah. And go, dude, I used to be so jealous of you,
Starting point is 01:17:52 and now when I look at you, and I know you could never even dream to be where I'm at, that feels great. I mean, you know... Name some names. And you give them $5, and you go, you probably need it. I don't know. And then you leave. Well, you know, it's like, that's the thing. It's like, you know, name some names. And you give them $5 and you go, you probably need it. I don't know. And then you leave.
Starting point is 01:18:05 Well, you know, it's like, that's the thing. It's like, you can have those thoughts, but also feel sorry for that person. Also be like, oh, I always thought they were so funny. I wish that their career was going better. It's, but it's all boils down to that person. And so it's like their career, your career is, even if you're in a subjective field like we are, where it's, it where you've got to get an audience, and there's no like, well, this guy is the best,
Starting point is 01:18:29 or this guy, like there's no, it's not a sport where it's like, he wins, they lose. It's up to that person. That person has to go do it. And, you know, I think we're both in the scenario, or like everybody, you don't grow up with anything that's crazy that's going to send you forward. You've got to really go earn everything. Right.
Starting point is 01:18:50 You've got to go get it all. And that helped me see my parents. My parents went and earned everything. They went and got everything. And then you just see that aspect, and you've got to go get it. And then that's all that matters. And when you realize, too, when you do pass people and then you realize like i don't really have a it's not that i feel sad for them but you don't have any
Starting point is 01:19:10 emotion towards it's not like you're there like i want them to know i passed like right you realize how stupid it was that i let them yeah that i made that whatever in my head because i'm like well i don't care about it now why do i not care about it is it because i'm doing better yeah and it's like why don't we have any emotion towards it and so you're like all right but i mean you need i say all this saying you do need this stuff to that stuff is stuff that you can make up in your head that like keeps you like you have your weird thing i want my name on that when i get picked up how do i make that happen like it's and I and I don't want to do it too soon I don't want to do it too late I want to do it when like and that's a it's
Starting point is 01:19:51 a good way to do something that's not as like on someone but I have a very hard time with doing the other side there also is uh scenarios where for me like back in Charleston I used to try to help people like they would ask me to help them write or whatever i remember one guy in particular asked me to meet up with him and help him write so i was working with him and i was just trying to get him to clean it up a little bit so he tried it clean a couple of times and then one set he was like on stage and they're just like he was like oh people always try to tell me to be clean all the time. You know, he's like, oh, but they don't have a late night. They're not on The Tonight Show.
Starting point is 01:20:28 And I think about that guy sometimes and I think, hmm, I wonder if he has seen what I'm up to lately. And that makes me feel good. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure he has seen what you're up to. And it's going to make you feel good. There's nothing wrong with it.
Starting point is 01:20:47 I would, you know, you got a little satisfaction of like, you know. But that guy would have driven, that would have driven you to then do that stuff that that person, then you pass them. And then you just keep going. And you're like, yeah. I mean, look, no one's perfect everybody people need to accept it like you're gonna have feelings that you're like yeah dude i love like i think of that guy and i'm like i showed that guy and you're like yeah do you want that guy to be down no but you're like i get excited that i did show you know yeah yeah because you're because none of us are perfect so you're gonna have these kind of things and you got to be like all right
Starting point is 01:21:23 they're there and you know that they're there yeah but i had to where i need to be like if i want to go up it's like you can't you can't hope someone goes down and i can think of it it's not even i can think of with other comedians it's not even comedians it could be another person or another this or it could be someone you know and this and blah blah whatever and then you're putting all this stuff out you know being like well they're people have it in regular life with social media if you see people on instagram and they post stuff and you see them post like oh they look like they're having this life that's like man they're like family's awesome and all this kind of stuff and then a lot of that's not real like they're gonna like they're in fights they're in whatever reason and and it's like well is it
Starting point is 01:22:05 gonna make you happy if you you know are you see that they get divorced later and then you're like you if you find yourself like you feel not like you feel good about yourself and you're like well that shouldn't be the case and then you but then you have to realize you gotta realize yeah this stuff's not real like they're they're posting you the highlights and that's coming from a place of insecurity on your own part too. Probably. If you're looking at that other person going, yeah,
Starting point is 01:22:29 I hope it falls down. Yeah. But you would be, but of course you do, or you want to find, I'm not fine. I want to find a weakness. I would always have that.
Starting point is 01:22:36 I'd always have it with comedy. Like if there was other clean comics starred, and I would be like, and if I found, and if they cursed on stage or were dirty, I would, I would feel satisfaction, because then I would, I would know, like, I'm not competing with them anymore, and like, so then I would be able to, and I, you know, I don't know if I should have done that, but I, like, I shouldn't have done it, but it's like, I did, I thought that all the time,
Starting point is 01:23:01 like, I would just catch someone that was clean and i'd be like golly i feel like i'm not you know i'm competing with this person i'm not going to physically do something to them i'm not going to try to mess with their career but the second i saw them show the weakness of this i just was like all right yeah i would pound on it and make them i would see that in competitions like if i were in a stand-up competition and then i would watch someone on stage and be like oh man i feel like it's me or that person and then they would like do some weird religious joke or or political joke and i would be like all right i won i just won because they just divided the audience with their and i'd be like all right they had them and then i would win yeah and that felt good yeah and then you go talk to the judges about the moon landing and then they're
Starting point is 01:23:49 like god we should vote for that other guy yeah exactly yeah i keep it all off stage i don't put it out up there yeah i keep it on podcast guys yeah they polled americans the biggest gambles in your life and the three biggest were changing careers, getting married, moving to a new city. And, I mean, would you say those are probably marriage wasn't the biggest gamble? Yeah. No, I mean, you know, Laura made me do it. I didn't have a choice.
Starting point is 01:24:22 Yeah. And no. You didn't have a choice. No, Laura was, yeah, Laura's not a gamble. But you've talked about how you moved to L.A. Well, you know what? Moving from L.A. to here was the bigger gamble because at first you didn't even want people to know it.
Starting point is 01:24:36 Yeah, yeah. That was probably the biggest one. Moving to Chicago, New York, I mean, you're young, and it's like you say you're kind of like you're dumb. I don't have a career. But yeah, moving from LA to Nashville was, and, but that was a big motivation. Anytime you start feeling comfortable, it's time to make a change. You should always feel a little uncomfortable. Once you start feeling too comfortable, it's like, you're just sitting in comfortableness and it's nice. And it will,
Starting point is 01:25:02 the world just pass this every second you're comfortable the world is passing you by someone's learning something that you're not learning someone's out doing something you're not doing and i mean there's going to be i'm not saying everybody has to live in this state if you're it's what if you're if you're trying to get to some kind of thing that's a big thing to think of like you just can't be anytime you start going like i don't have to really do anything right now you know when i moved new york to la that was that was one too though because it was like moving out there because then i started doing i wasn't doing shows every night and at first i was like oh it's nice not to have to go up every night you know i went eight years of going
Starting point is 01:25:37 on stage every night and then it just felt then i felt a panic of like yeah i'm just i'm like getting backwards like i'm not i'm getting less funny I'm like getting backwards. Like I'm getting less funny. I'm getting like, you know, I'm not in the rhythm of it all. I need to be, you need to be in it. So I think about when you falling on the ground, if I got pushed to the ground right now, it's going to hurt. Like, but if I, but if I wrestled every day, I could still at 43 fall on the ground every day and feel okay.
Starting point is 01:26:01 Cause I would be hitting the ground every day. But when you don't hit the ground every day and you're like i don't want to fall because you're like it's going to hurt and so it's like that you got to be in it and just like baby and just getting beat up every day and around it and if you're not doing it other people are and they will pass you and they will pass you by and you'll be you'll get so defeated that you're never going to get to go catch them because it's going to you're you're just going to be like i mean how why did they get because they kept going you got to get all you gotta do is keep going yeah you have to i mean that was the hardest thing about covid was like
Starting point is 01:26:35 for in that matter of like we there's nowhere to perform and it was like oh man i mean i guess the other thing was that everybody had to stop but it's also like you don't get better at comedy not doing it what's the biggest gamble you've well i think you know not believing in code yeah but i uh that's true but uh i uh you know i moved from my hometown to charleston south carolina when i was like 21, for no reason, really, I just wanted to move. And lots of people that I grew up around were like, don't do that, man. What are you doing? But I just was like, needed a change. So I made that move. And then quitting my job, that was a full time job with benefits and all of these things. And then selling my car. Also, I didn't really know why I was doing that and then moving from
Starting point is 01:27:26 charleston to nashville to pursue comedy uh which seemed to make sense to no one yeah um all gambles and then you know i got married too which i do think getting married is a gamble to a degree because you're like uh agreeing to to be intertwined with this person, hoping that they're just going to keep going along with the stuff you believe in. For my wife, that's difficult. You know what I mean? I throw some crazy stuff on her. Yeah. I got to go along with this now.
Starting point is 01:27:57 Yeah. I'd say so. My wife has to deal with that, too. That's probably the hardest thing for a while. Specifically, probably our two wives. Yeah. It's the, yeah, 11 o'clock, I can just be like, here's all. I mean, last night, I was like, I looked up dogs because I was like,
Starting point is 01:28:15 I thought, I kind of want to, I was like, you know, I wouldn't mind taking, and I've made fun of people taking dogs on the road, like you think it's ridiculous. But then, you know, then I find my way where I think, well well it's okay if i do it because i'm an idiot and i lie and i'm like i don't you know it's like you just what are you doing taking this you can't be taking then i'll just end up doing the thing well i wish i could do that and then i find a way to make it okay in my head but uh so uh i'm sorry for everybody that's had a dog and i've quietly i've never said anything to anybody but i've uh in your head in my head i was mad that you had a dog out uh and i don't even
Starting point is 01:28:53 have a dog yet but so let me see let me get one then i'll say i apologize right now i'm still mad yeah i'll still be mad i can still because i'm not you think about getting a little like purse dog thick no no no i just thought about getting like a, like, purse dog to take on the ride? No, no, no. I just thought about getting, like, a dog for the, like, to have with us on the bus. You know,
Starting point is 01:29:08 it's like, we're taking the bus everywhere, and like, I was like, I just want, like, a little buddy that walks next to me. We got Holly.
Starting point is 01:29:13 Holly's kind of, Holly's here with everybody, and then, I was like, just a little buddy that's just kind of with me, and I was looking at, like,
Starting point is 01:29:18 Basset hounds. Like, those are, you know, fun, and I can't get too big. Like, Nick has,
Starting point is 01:29:24 like, the dog's too big. it's a lot for Nick. Oh, yeah. So then it's like I'm trying to get a balance of like – it could be a bulldog or something. I don't know. I just look at adoption, all this stuff. Bastardhounds are super fun.
Starting point is 01:29:39 And that little thing just jumping in bed and bunk with me. You're like, it's kind of that. You got your little buddy. And so I was like, I went down a whole thing. And what I did before that was looked into if I should start learning how to do MMA. Those were my two searches last night. And I get down a hole. I'm watching videos. I mean, I finally get off the dogs to go like, you got to wrap it up. You know,
Starting point is 01:30:02 I'm just trying to watch a movie or something. And then I start watching YouTube videos on which MMA I should do for self-defense. And I'm like down this thing of like, do I want to go learn jiu-jitsu? Like in theory, I want to learn it. Then I'm like, do it. And I woke up today like, do I want to learn jiu-jitsu? Like there's so much stuff I want to do. Like I do want to go hunting. I want to learn how to hunt. I want to learn how to
Starting point is 01:30:27 shoot a gun more. I've never done a ton of proper or whatever. Go learn stuff. It fades away after a while. What I did is I got a dog that knows a little jujitsu and has
Starting point is 01:30:43 two guns. That's the way to go. The way to go is you get a german shepherd oh that's the way you go because that's the other one i thought i was like if i get a german shepherd and get them trained i mean that's better than a gun this would be you you would have the protection to be a german shepherd that i mean they're like so obedient our dome and pitcher looked at them they're supposed to be a great dog
Starting point is 01:31:07 you get a German Shepherd and a gun that way you can shoot the person while the dog's attacking them yeah it's like your tiger it's like the tiger trip
Starting point is 01:31:13 yeah you can hunt with them too I don't know if they want to go I don't know how they you gotta ask them that's how smart they are you feeling it today
Starting point is 01:31:22 he goes I don't know he goes I'm alright there you go do you need me I go yeah doing it today he goes i don't think he goes i'm all right there you go do you need me i go yeah doing some quail hunting i don't even know no i'm just doing fishing hunting yeah i think what you're talking about though with these gambles and moving to states what happens is you move and you've you know you still have friends that you stay in contact with but everyday everyday people, you've lost them all. And that's even quitting drinking for me.
Starting point is 01:31:48 It was like you basically lose all your friends. There's some that are still around, but it's like so now your horizons are broadened because you're like you have to find new friends. You have to find new things. You got to find people that want to hang out during the day and not go to bed at 4. And people who actually want to remember the conversation they're having with you. Yeah, yeah. You're younger, but it was probably a gamble to give up a Notre Dame degree to do full-time comedy. I didn't give up.
Starting point is 01:32:15 I mean, I still have the degree. Yeah, yeah, you're right. I know what you mean. Yeah, it was September of 2019. I saved up. I had just signed a contract to do some dates with Chris. John Chris. And then a couple months later, that went away.
Starting point is 01:32:33 And then COVID came a couple months later. Why did that go away? Yeah, what happened? So, yeah, I was like five months into being a full-time comic, and I felt like it was a huge mistake. Yeah. Because nobody was doing comedy anywhere. Thankfully, in the South, we were back doing it pretty quick.
Starting point is 01:32:51 But yeah, I definitely went through a period there where I was like, this was a gamble that did not pay off. But that was two years ago. I remember seeing you at Bobby's Idol Hour the first time, open mic, being like, dang, this guy's good. Hey, thank you. I mean. You should have told him that night.
Starting point is 01:33:09 That would have been nice. I think I did. I think he did. He sent me a Facebook message. Yeah. It meant a lot at the time. I would never say this to his face, but that kid's got some. Bates' years was probably when you quit your job.
Starting point is 01:33:23 Yeah, I mean, I had a Full time job For 20 years almost And I was a manager And quit at 43 To do stand up comedy Well I think That's a gamble Even bigger gamble
Starting point is 01:33:35 I mean You had a baby It's maybe the most gamble At 50 years old Yeah I mean Yeah I mean that's
Starting point is 01:33:42 Well that's just happened So now I'm getting nervous Right so we don't know how that's going to pan out. He did more of a parlay. Yeah. Job, marriage, three-team parlay. Three-team parlay. And they go, all right, I think that's common.
Starting point is 01:33:57 You go, here's a catch. Deep in my 40s. That would be the parlay. That's your odds of the parlay? So you did. You made it. That would be the bet that would be the odds because if you're like all right if you're 20 and you're like i'm gonna have a full-time job married and a kid yeah you ain't gonna win any money if you're gonna bet on that now quit my job at 43, get married at 57, have a baby at 70. Come on.
Starting point is 01:34:28 The odds are through the roof. You bet a dollar they're going to give you $70 million. That's right. That's right. It's the biggest gamble. There you go. I remember I used to be obsessed with this video of Bill Burr talking on his podcast. And somebody writes in and is like, I'm thinking of quitting my job teaching and being
Starting point is 01:34:45 a full-time writer and he just goes on this rant and what he said was even if you if you follow a dream or whatever even if you don't achieve that dream directly you always end up somewhere better than you were before yeah so i stuck to that i listened to that all the time when i was struggling you know and then well yeah it's like even like years how long you done comedy five I stuck to that. I listened to that all the time when I was struggling. Well, yeah, it's like even like— A couple years, how long you done comedy? Five years? I mean, not long enough to reflect on it in this way. But even—
Starting point is 01:35:13 Just the beginning of your— Hey, man, I remember way back. It goes way back when I was just moving. Yeah, there's still time. But it's like even when I left my hometown, it's like if— I was like, if this doesn't work out i just can go back it's not like the door's closed yeah that's what i mean i never had yeah all the jobs i had i could go back to yeah right that's why his is is is pretty big yes he was
Starting point is 01:35:37 old not promising it was a career you'd advanced in right yeah worked your way up yeah from right out of college till 43 how long were you there almost 20 years wow yeah and he went in there and goes i think i want to be in front of the camera and they go oh and now he's back to radio yeah that's true some examples of guys who did bet on themselves and their company chick-fil-a when truett kathy decided they're not going to be open on sundays everybody said that's ridiculous that's one-seventh of your business profit that you're not going to be having but what it did is kind of the opposite effect it gave people this certain sense of
Starting point is 01:36:22 urgency that ah they're close we gotta go get our chick-fil-a it kind of created an opposite uh appeal to people to go do it and it also conveyed a sense of caring community people whether they realize or not do like the fact they said that people have some morals and yeah and they're also every employee is guaranteed one day off a week. Right, yeah. And they know what day it is. So if you're friends with people that you work with, you can get together on Sunday. People like that they're not open on Sunday, but do you think the amount of money they'd make if they were open on Sunday would offset the amount of people that would be upset that they opened on Sunday? I agree.
Starting point is 01:37:05 I think it makes you stand out. Yeah. You're your own thing, and you're always reminded. Because you know when people go, I'm going to go to Chick-fil-A, and then you're like, God, Sunday. And you forget. I mean, I've had that a million times. Everybody's had it.
Starting point is 01:37:17 So it's like I think you're not even – you don't even count Chick-fil-A as in with mcdonald's or these other ones like you count it's its own separate kind of thing you don't say if you're gonna go get fast food you wouldn't say i'm gonna get fast food you and i feel like you're like i'm gonna go get chick-fil-a you say where you're going yeah versus i mean you can say running mcdonald's but it's like i feel like chick-fil-a is like looked yeah it's its own but it's like, I feel like Chick-fil-A's looked... Yeah, it's its own category. It's looked gracefully at. It's like you go bring Chick-fil-A in and you're working in an office.
Starting point is 01:37:52 People are like, oh, I should have got Chick-fil-A. You bring in McDonald's, I mean, they're like... You show up with Hardee's biscuits. They're like, my God, you got your truck breakdown? I don't know. What are you doing? You doing some construction? Are we doing construction today?
Starting point is 01:38:04 I've never gotten Chick-fil-A and been like oh it's not that good today yeah but i have gotten hardy's the other day and been like what's going on here i look there was a hardy's by my trailer park growing up and i used to eat we used to eat there like i don't know four times a week yeah i had hardy's the other day i was like oh man i was like this is disgusting and i still kept eating well heart yeah hardy's carl's junior hardy's but like the hardy's is uh i think they had their heyday i think it was they got a hot breakfast they got a good they got a good breakfast they're good yeah go to the breakfast and after that i think the thick burgers are still doing well man you remember when they came out yeah it was a cultural phenomenon yeah yeah for sure yeah and the
Starting point is 01:38:43 weber household at least no it was a big deal. It was a cultural phenomenon. Yeah, yeah. For sure. In the Weber household, at least. No, it was a big deal here. I used to get a Monster Burger down at the Hardee's. Oh, yeah. The Hardee's did chicken for a while. That was a good run. You remember that? They had a low-carb version of every burger you could get.
Starting point is 01:38:55 Yeah, that was the low-carb thing they came out with. Just the lettuce. The lettuce, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they still probably have that. I think so. Yeah, that's a good idea. Elon Musk, when he started Tesla,
Starting point is 01:39:06 it was the first real American new car company in 50 years. And in 2008, when the U.S. economy tanked, he was basically out of money, which is hard to think about now. But he had $35 million left in cash, which I know that seems weird to say out of money. Must have been tough for him. Was he on the street?
Starting point is 01:39:25 He invested it all in his own company and Tesla just to keep them afloat. And now, now that company is worth a trillion dollars. Wow. That's crazy. That's crazy. It is. That is a,
Starting point is 01:39:35 that's a giant gamble too. Cause you think you only have 35 million. So it's like easy to be like, well, I'm going to keep it. And then he's like, no, no,
Starting point is 01:39:42 I'll keep playing. Invest 34. Yeah. Keep them though. Yeah. You would think, yeah, think yeah just be like you know just go to hardy's yeah yeah yeah i want to be able to get a low-carb burger once in a while fred smith founder of uh fedex he went to yale and wrote a business uh paper on better ways to move uh packages And they said, there's no way this will work. They gave him a C in the class for it. But he went ahead and started his own business anyway. And they were down to $5,000 in the company.
Starting point is 01:40:14 This is 1971. He went to Vegas, gambled it, and made $27,000. So he came home with $32,000. It was just enough to keep the company afloat. Oh, wow. And now, of course, they're a multi-million dollar, billion dollar company. I think in college they were like,
Starting point is 01:40:29 did you plagiarize the post office? Yeah. It was, like, I would say... Well, if they didn't think it'd work, you must have done something better than that. Anybody that wants to have some idea or something, or someone's going to tell you, like, I don't know if that's going to work,
Starting point is 01:40:44 that idea's going to work. When someone just says, I don't know if it's going to work, just go going to when someone just says i don't know if it's going to work just go you got to just try it like you got to just see unless it's unless it's shown to your face that it's not going to work because it's that's a we're talking about like even like dieting and stuff like that you know there's always like you're like well i'm thinking about doing this you're like yeah but you don't want to if you go do that then it's gonna going to be. There's always going to be a that. Go just do it, dude. Like, go.
Starting point is 01:41:07 You know, if you were like, I want to lose weight eating Oreo cookies, which you could. You could eat Oreo cookies only. Vegan. Huh? It's vegan. It's vegan. So you could eat Oreo. Like, it's your only meal.
Starting point is 01:41:20 And you did a calorie count. You're like, I only eat this many Oreo cookies. You would lose. You could lose your weight. You'd feel terrible, blah, blah, whatever. But that works. You can do it. Not saying it's the best way to do it,
Starting point is 01:41:29 but like, if you told someone I'm going to do that, they would tell you why you can't. And you just got to be like, just do it. And then you will learn why you can't. And then once you learn why you can't, you will then go,
Starting point is 01:41:40 I know, for me, I felt terrible eating Oreos. But I lost 15 pounds. So then I just put it together and was like, all right, me, I felt terrible eating Oreos, you know, but I lost 15 pounds. So then I just put it together and was like, all right, well, don't eat Oreos now. You make it real food. And then they're blah, blah, whatever. But everybody starts with it. Everybody wants to give a, everyone wants to say, no, no, no, you can't do that.
Starting point is 01:41:59 That's going to be. Yeah, people love to be like, don't do the out of the main, out of the lines. Yeah. That Fred Smith one's exactly that. Yeah. They go, it's a C. Because you're like, that's ridiculous. You're like, well, that guy just doesn't want to think about it.
Starting point is 01:42:15 Because it's clearly not. But if the professor wanted to have the conversation and talk about it, he probably could have been talked into it. What if just the grammar was terrible and everything was misspelled? That's why he got a C? He writes with his fist and he's just like. It's a great idea but i can't read anything i would call it fed e x and he goes why would you put just put x guys i had a boss he used to go keep doing what you're doing keep getting what you're getting right and and so i always thought about that and it's like if you don't like what you're getting
Starting point is 01:42:44 you gotta switch it up right so when i wanted to quit the pesticide job people were like don't do it i would not do it in this economy that's what everybody always says and i'm like yeah but i'm terribly unhappy yeah but they wanted me to keep it because it was safe there was money but i'm like i hate this it's the same story as elon just a little different setting i mean i had you know maybe 35 dollars yeah i just love that there's people that are i'm gonna quit pesticide come on man you can't don't throw your life away right right but i had health insurance a car allowance a salary and it was like but like, but I hate it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In Hollywood, the most famous story is Sylvester Stallone.
Starting point is 01:43:28 When he wrote Rocky, he had $106 left to his name. And he optioned it to the studio, but he insisted he had to play Rocky. And they were like, no, we don't want it. They were going to give him all this money. But he held his ground, and he had to sell his dog. That's how much. Oh, my God. His dog, Butkus, he had to sell for $40 just to have food to eat.
Starting point is 01:43:51 I would have bought it for the bus. I would have sold the dog first. You hate dogs. I bet the first thing I had it done. Well, anyway. So he turned down a lot of money to get to play the role, but he said, you know what? I've got this poverty thing down.
Starting point is 01:44:10 I really don't need much to live on. I've sort of figured it out. So if I sell this script and it goes great, I'll never forgive myself. So he stuck to his guns, and he took less money, but he had enough to buy his dog back. The guy charged him $15,000 to get his dog back. No way. Because he knew how much he wanted it. But he did but he did it and of course should definitely bought that dog but i mean look at what
Starting point is 01:44:31 it did for him rocky obviously changed his life now he kind of stole that i mean let's steal it but he got the idea from a professional boxer who went 15 rounds with i guess muhammad ali he was a nobody not Muhammad Ali down just like the setting for the first rocky yeah I want the distance and came home wrote the screenplay in like three days Wow and that's crazy optioned it yeah swingers the same thing John Favreau wanted to put his buddies in swingers John Favreau was out of work actor in Hollywood and they're like we want this we want Johnny Depp we want Chris O'Donnell to play these characters and they're they're gonna give him like eight million dollars to do it yeah and
Starting point is 01:45:14 he's like I want my buddies Vince and Ron Livingston and so they turned out like eight million dollars they finally got two hundred eighty thousand dollars to make the movie and of course that was a huge cult favorite right that was such a great movie with johnny depp phil uh yeah that would have been awesome with him phil uh i mean phil rosenthal when they did raymond he was they didn't want him to be showrunner and he was like well i just quit the show wow and then he held his ground everybody's friend and they put all that purple in it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:47 Yeah, Shawshank Redemption. Yeah. Frank Darabont. I thought you were saying Rain Man, but you said it real fast. Rain Man. Rain Man. Is there a few more of these? A couple more here. Matthew McConaughey.
Starting point is 01:45:59 I remember he used to just be a romantic comedy guy. He did all these romantic comedies, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Fool's Gold, Wedding Planner. He didn't want to be just a comedic actor. That was when he was my favorite. I really did like him a lot as a rom-com guy. He turned down $14.5 million to do another rom-com because he wanted to be a serious actor. Then he took 20 months off from doing movies.
Starting point is 01:46:25 When he came back, everybody was like, oh, where's Matthew McConaughey been? He's up to something. And all of a sudden he had this new kind of mystique. What's he been up to? And then he got in Lincoln Lawyer. Lincoln Lawyer was great. The McConaissance.
Starting point is 01:46:38 Wasn't that what it was called? Yeah, it was. I never heard that, but they said it was the McConaissance. I never heard that term. You ever see the paper boy with him? He really gambled on himself. Yes, he did. He turned down.
Starting point is 01:46:48 He goes, I'm not going to take this $14 million. He was like, I mean, he did get it. But it's funny to me that's the gamble. Because he's already super rich? He's super rich and famous. And he's like, you know what? I'm going to take a gamble on myself. I'm going to take 20 months off i may only have 20 million dollars but i'll take i'll take a
Starting point is 01:47:10 i'll see if i thought for every million yeah i own and then we'll give you 14 million you're like i'm gonna go live like royalty for two years yeah yeah and a resort um well you'll love this one then tom cruise um i love tom cruise they i like matthew pecan i'm a big fan of both and a resort. Well, you'll love this one. Tom Cruise. I love Tom Cruise. I like Matthew B. Connery, too. I'm a big fan of both. In Mission Impossible, Ghost Protocol, they did not want him to do his own stunt where he scaled the Burj Khalifa,
Starting point is 01:47:35 the tallest building in the world. But he insisted doing his own stunt because he would say it would make the movie better. And the film's insurance company would not insurance. I mean, give him a policy, I guess. What's the word? Insure. Insure, there we go.
Starting point is 01:47:51 Sorry. But he did anyway. That was the gamble. If he fell, that movie would have been delayed. Yeah, and he would have died. The Burj Khalifa is too tall. I don't like looking at it. It makes me uncomfortable.
Starting point is 01:48:08 It's so much taller than the next building. One of these buildings is the Empire State Building. Is that right? No. It might be the Batman Tower in Nashville. That's true. It dwarfs our tallest building. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:48:22 The little one might be that height. That's what I'm saying. I don't know. I mean, maybe it's... The little one might be that height of... That's what I'm saying, yeah. I mean, I bet the Empire State Building... Yeah, you can put it right next to each other. And then... But it... Like, and people live up there? Yeah, I mean...
Starting point is 01:48:38 Okay, so it's... I mean, it's about twice as tall. It's still very big. It starts getting like... They start... I feel like some very big it starts getting like they start i feel like some of these tall building when they start doing this they're like put a pencil on the top of you like all right yeah like is this even what are we doing you know they get it gets so like pointy and they're like yeah we got like five points on top of each other and you're like i guess it's the tall and you get to tell people they go what i mean i live in the tallest building in the world wow what floor are you on third right right but
Starting point is 01:49:10 it got points so it's the tallest i'll give a couple more just a couple golf ones let's do some big ones yeah let's talk about the more gambles of just highly successful people like that's just uh when roy mcelroy was just 15 years old his father bet 400 pounds which i looked up about 450 dollars on 501 odds that roy would win the open championship by the age of 26 and when he did it he made 341 000 that's pretty cool that's good betting on your son yeah that's fun i'd like to hear about some that didn't work out. Yeah, those were harder to find. Like if they were like, Jim from accounting quit his job to pursue acting, and now he's the janitor. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:49:54 Oh, there's got to be millions of those. There's some at this table. I'll end on this one, and I'll ask you, you Nate if you think you could do this so this guy he's a professional poker player but he just loves to gamble and he loves to play golf so what do you shoot in golf
Starting point is 01:50:10 in general depends on the course I've been I'm stuck in like 81 83 this guy shoots an average between 82 to 84 he's exactly me
Starting point is 01:50:19 alright he's exactly you so he bet his buddies $340,000 that he could play four rounds of golf in one day in 100-plus degree Las Vegas heat, carrying his own clubs, playing from the tips, and he had to break 100 each time. You think you could do that?
Starting point is 01:50:42 Comes out to walking over 20 miles. Yeah, I think I could. I think think i could i think i'd do it you're throwing that i'm not playing that in the heat before i honestly think i could do that i mean it would be a matter of just all i'd be worried about is the time but if you you know i mean i'm not gonna run but if you go play and you're you don't have to wait on anybody and like you have to yeah i don't think to wait on anybody and you have to – Yeah, I don't think time was a factor in it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:51:08 Well – You've got to do it in one day. Well, I guess that's true. Yeah, three hours. So it's like – it's six. It's 12 hours. So you've got to have a – you've got to do this at a time where it's going to be – you'd have to start right when sunrise.
Starting point is 01:51:21 How much could he make? Well, he bet $340,000. So that's what he makes? With his buddies. So you got four. If you say each round takes you four hours, that's 16 hours. So you'd have to tee off
Starting point is 01:51:38 at 6 a.m. and the sun sets at if it's a late day, 8 p.m., then I guess you're not really worried about the time. Yeah, they didn't mention the time. They just mentioned the extreme heat and carrying his own clubs and walking that and playing well. I say throw in.
Starting point is 01:51:53 He's not allowed water. I'll take the bat. Yeah. Yeah, I think I could do it. He did it. He got the first two rounds he did pretty quickly. Third, he started slowing down. The fourth one, it was getting risky.
Starting point is 01:52:07 But when there was five or six holes left, he let some of his buddies buy their way out. That's what they do. If they know you're going to win, they'll let you buy your way out. But then one guy had to cover the rest of it that was left. But he did it. He made $340,000. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:52:24 I think I could do it i think the next challenge christmas challenge i'd go i mean i could go up to uh yeah i could go i could go try it i'd do it i could i'd like to try it i'm not i've played 36 and uh i know it's four and it's 100 degrees but i played 100 degrees i hit i hit a lot of golf balls i can play you hit better in the heat right then the ball travel uh usually travels farther carrying it look it gets you would be you definitely you're you're super tired i've been walking a lot now carrying my clothes i won't be able to cover 340 grand probably but i'll throw in a little bit yeah 20 bucks okay something like that. We're starting off to something.
Starting point is 01:53:07 Do a GoFundMe. Then I'll be in the gambling stories. He took a big risk on himself. He raised the money. He raised the money. All right. Is that it? I thought that might have a little bit more heat to that story.
Starting point is 01:53:24 It's pretty hot. 100 degrees. I thought that might have a little bit more heat to that story. Yeah, it's pretty hot. It's pretty, yeah, it's 100 degrees. 100 degree weather, yeah. Yeah, I think it was hot. I don't know if you think we'll spire off into another part two podcast. No, I mean, I got a lot more, but I feel like we should probably stop. Ben Affleck, big gambler, got caught card counting. Well, dude, those stories are fun.
Starting point is 01:53:43 These are like like they got caught they go to jail well I'm sorry that that these other stories were not fun but he got caught card counting the black the hard rock made him leave he was won $800,000
Starting point is 01:53:58 yeah how can it be illegal to be it's not illegal but they don't he just but they don't... He just said they don't like it when you start winning that way. It just seems crazy to me. That seems like... Well, it's rigged against you, you know,
Starting point is 01:54:15 so when you start winning, they want to get you out of there. Yeah, but it's... I guess, yeah, I don't know. It does seem like if you're that good... It seems unfair. And I read kind of how he did it it's it's because i didn't know how card canning worked but basically you assess a number either a plus one or a minus one you know that yeah to the good cards back and you just keep up with it in
Starting point is 01:54:37 your head and then once you feel like it's in your advantage you start betting more money and then there's some that are teams where you have people standing around that kind of keep up with you and they signal i could see that being a little bit more illegal yeah yes yeah there's a guy named phil ivy he's a known as the best poker player in the world he's won 10 world series of poker bracelets and over 100 million dollars yeah and he did a uh technique called edge sorting. And that's basically where you can look at the back of the cards and see if they're cut slightly different, the shapes of them.
Starting point is 01:55:13 And he would ask, you know, he would get a good look at them. And then when they flipped them over, he would remember which ones had a certain edge, certain way. And then he could remember it, and he started winning money that way. And he got sued that uh they took him to court about it because they said it was illegal and then and so and he won like he won all of poker because of that i don't know if he did it in the world series of poker but he's played professionally where he does edge sorting
Starting point is 01:55:39 where they can look at a face down card and tell if it's a good card or a bad card because they look at the differences in the back of the card. I love that it's illegal to have a good memory. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's like this is the part with cards I think people get frustrated. You do that with poker. If someone says, well, you're not playing the way.
Starting point is 01:56:02 And they want to play it some way. They lose. And then they're mad that, you know, like, it's like, well, you're not playing the way – and they want to play it some way. They lose, and then they're mad that – it's like, well, you're not playing it the way I think you should play it. And you're like, well, what are we doing then? If I've got to play it like how – you're like – when we play poker on the bus, it's like, yeah, it's a zoo. I mean, there's a lot of all-ins.
Starting point is 01:56:22 It's kind of chaotic, and that's the game that's being played not everybody you know we've gotten better at it but it's like it doesn't go the way you want it to go and so if you're a good poker player you'd probably be pretty frustrated but then you'd be like then why are you then go then get out of our circle like it's like you can't you can't be mad at like because someone's not doing something the way you want them to do it. And, but the same way the casinos, you can't get mad if a guy can remember the back of the cards. And then remember what it is. You're like, he's not using any, you know, he's not writing anything down. It's like his memory.
Starting point is 01:56:57 It's like, how could you even prove it? You know? Yeah. He would ask the dealer to kind of rotate it around so he could see it better. Tell him like he's superstitious. And most dealers
Starting point is 01:57:09 when I read will basically go along with whatever you ask to try to help you out. So the dealers would do it. He's just getting a better look at the back of the car. Can you flip it over for me?
Starting point is 01:57:18 Yeah. Just real quick. Just real quick. Flip it over. So yeah. I mean, I agree. It seems if you're that good
Starting point is 01:57:24 you deserve it. But he's doing pretty well. He's doing good. He's doing all right. I mean, I agree. It seems if you're that good, you deserve it. But he's doing pretty well. He's doing good. He's doing all right. Yeah. Phil Hyven. All right. Glad we got back into it.
Starting point is 01:57:33 And Calvin Ridley was suspended by the NFL for betting on football, including his own team. That was this year. All right. That's it, Pete Rose. Pete Rose. Pete Rose. All right. That's it, Pete Rose. Pete Rose. Pete Rose. All right.
Starting point is 01:57:49 Feel good? You feel good? I feel great. Where are you at this week? Yeah. This week I am Vegas. Las Vegas. Speaking of gambling, wow.
Starting point is 01:57:59 Yeah, how about that? How about that? I'll be in Las Vegas. Going to do a little edge sorting. A little edge sorting. Going to count cards. Playing a lot of that stuff this week uh i don't know how to do it but i'll read uh i'll watch youtube video on the way out i'll just be sitting there at the deck going one counting out loud plus two plus three zero four Everybody be quiet. Let me see that card.
Starting point is 01:58:27 I look at it and go, that's stupid. Queen of Diamonds always... I got to remember, half of it's cut off. I would forget that much. God, which one was half cut off? It had the hole in it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:58:41 He goes, all right, AC Diamonds has a hole in it. They put a hole in them. Yeah. That's, all right, AC Diamond has a hole in it. They put a hole in them. Yeah. Yeah, all right. That's where I'll be. There and then Phoenix. Yeah, I got there.
Starting point is 01:58:54 Then California run, Thousand Oaks, Long Beach, San Francisco. Then Phoenix for the special. Be out there. We're doing New Mexico, running up to that. Two shows on Friday. Then there's tickets for the late show on that Friday night. Two warm-up shows, and then I will be taping the two Saturday shows. So come out to that next week.
Starting point is 01:59:17 Lexington, Greg Ward. I'm directing and producing Greg Warren's special at the Comedy Off-Broadway. October 1st is the night we are taping. Saturday, I think he's there that whole weekend. But come out to that. It'd be great. We'd love to have you. If you can come support us doing that, we'd be appreciative.
Starting point is 01:59:37 I'm in Portland, Oregon this Friday doing a private show for some folks. Hope it's comedy, but who knows? We'll see. It is Portland. Date night. No, it's not date night this time. Could be. Who knows? That's Friday. And then Sunday, I'm in Paducah,
Starting point is 01:59:56 Kentucky with Leanne Morgan. That'll be fun. Big week for me. Sunday night, Zany's Comedy Club. I'm headlining there. That's exciting. And then Tuesday, Wednesday, I'm in Naples, Florida, where I've never been, off the hook comedy club. And then Thursday night, Tampa, Sidesplitters Comedy Club.
Starting point is 02:00:15 Come on out. All right. I'll be, as this podcast is coming out, I'll be tonight at Zany's in Nashville. This weekend, Jacksonville Comedy Zone. All going gonna be great i want to say i had a great weekend in greensboro north carolina i had gone there in 2016 and i did not have a good time and i've been talking trash about the club since then but i want to say it
Starting point is 02:00:36 was a complete turnaround love the club and thanks to everyone that watched and shared my five o'clock somewhere video i appreciate that yeah i got a lot of... Yeah, it did really well. Jimmy Buffett. Jimmy Buffett, Alan Jackson, Trace Adkins, Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, lots of John Chris, Leanne Morgan, they all shared it for me. Very nice.
Starting point is 02:00:54 There are lots of people I forgot, but... Yeah, I shared it. Aaron shared it. I did not share it. Me neither. So, it's still time. It's after Labor Day. I don't know how much time we have that's the rule don't share dusty after labor day that is what they say yeah all right we'll go check that out thank you all as always we love you and we'll see you uh nateland is produced by nateland productions and by me
Starting point is 02:01:31 nate bargetzi and my wife lara on the all things comedy network recording and editing for the show is done by genovations media thanks for tuning in be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland podcast.

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