The Nateland Podcast - #12 Grocery Stores

Episode Date: September 16, 2020

This episode, we discuss one of our favorite places - the grocery store. We discuss grocery stores of the past, present, and future plus share some of our own personal moments at the grocery store. Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail] I'm loading up the tour bus and heading back on the road! Come join me for my first ever drive-in shows on the ONE NIGHT ONLY tour. Tickets available this Wed so go grab your tickets: http://www.natebargatze.com/.   9.25 - Pittsburgh, PA 9.26 - Oceanport, NJ - Sold Out 9.27 - Cape Cod, MA 9.28 - Ridgefield, CT 10.02 - Columbus, OH 10.03 - Hoffman Estates, IL   Download the DraftKings app NOW and use code NATELAND to get a FREE shot at the ONE MILLION DOLLAR top prize with your first deposit!

what's up everybody this is nate bargetti welcome to the nate land uh podcast uh i'm sitting here with aaron weber brian bates as a usual still trying to get rid of him I would like to if it's every week if I was trying to get I've been doing auditions of other we just can't take a hint the two of us

no no I don't want that if y'all just saw two other guys that look like y'all walk out right before you got here you're like what are y'all doing

you're like nothing nothing we were working on something and it's just constantly trying to audition other people that are just.

Just Luke Combs and Mike White. What if they both came? Stewart from the Big Vang. Y'all still have it. Y'all still have the part. Y'all did better than them. All right. I mean, speaking of sports, we had big Titans played last night.

Crazy game. Yep. I feel like we should have won more. I'm really excited about the Titans team. Some people listening to this don't care about sports, but Titans are, man, we got a team. We got a fun team. Just a lot of receivers, running back. I mean, everything's pretty fun.

Big names. It feels good. So I'm excited about that i also did uh jason day uh a golfer he does the they do the brighter day foundation and uh he does his like celebrity golf tournament and i i went and did that this weekend uh which was a lot of fun i've done it did the year before i probably continue to do it it's a played an amazing course and we got to hang with his uh family people listen to the podcast on there rika his buddy rika and his wife uh were big fans of the podcast listen to it uh all the time listen to every episode uh yeah very nice so uh it was they said we i was mean to. That's what she goes, you feel like you're mean to me.

And as usual, my comeback to that is they say I can't read. So I don't feel bad. Yeah, but that's different. How's that? What would be worse? Me being a little mean to you or other human beings think a 41-year-old. They're pointing out facts and you're just choosing to be mean to me. What's the difference?

That is different. That is. They're telling the truth. They're speaking the truth. So, yeah, we did that. Met Bubba Watson, another golfer. Oh, nice. It was super cool.

I got to talk to him. I was very excited to meet him. I have yet to meet him, and he was very nice. These talk to him. I was very excited to meet him. I've yet to meet him. And he was very nice. And these guys all played. Yeah. Bubba and Jason do. I mean,

Jason days event. He always brings one PGA guy that plays. I mean, it's just, you, I get paired up out of group of guys from Texas. They were very nice. I've always been very lucky that when you do these celebrity golf tournaments,

you, cause you get just paired with a group. A lot of times they won't know me. Very nice. I've always been very lucky that when you do these celebrity golf tournaments, because you get just paired with a group. A, a lot of times they won't know me. And so I think you get – it's a little bit better now, but it was definitely – I mean, I've done it where you feel like this group is like, who do we – like it's the lowest payment they did. Yeah, just like who you did one, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, just like who you did one, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

I think the guy you golfed with was more known than you were. He was. Well, you were the celebrity. I mean, how great would that be, Bates? And then you see you hit. I know. If you're not going to be a celebrity, you got to at least bring something to it.

I was the worst golfer and lesser known than two of the five guys that in our group. Where was that at? In Murfreesboro. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, that's great. We got Brian Bates. It was just celebrity Brian Bates. I've seen him on

YouTube and stuff like that. He used to work at Channel 5. They just use your regular job as the credit. that. He used to work at Channel 5. They just use your regular job as the credit. No, he used to work at Channel 5. Oh, he did? Yeah, he was a producer at Channel 5. Yeah, that's cool, man. That would be very funny. They use your regular job, day job, as your credit.

Yeah. We have credits now. Nate Land Podcast. No one knows my name. No one knows your name, it's you know i met some listeners in birmingham this past weekend they said they loved the podcast and they said say hi to brisket yeah oh i mean that's that's you know you're gonna be the most famous one on this podcast you're not gonna be i can't go to the bathroom in south america or is it as you say in south america ricky seinfeld reference yeah i forget somebody because i can't even go to the bathroom

uh so uh yeah it was a fun weekend i drove uh i drove up from nashville to columbus ohio six hours it was a nice drive i think I needed a good drive is not bad. I needed like a loan. Yeah. I mean, just there's music on the way, podcasts on the way back. And just, I mean, that took a long time. Did you buy a new album to listen to in the car? Yeah, bought a new album.

I did. I listened to the same songs that I'm not an adventurer. I listen to Taylor Swift has a new album i listen to hers yeah what do you think that's fun yeah yeah uh it was good yeah she's obviously very good you and his 28 year old fiancee have the same taste in music yeah yeah yeah i like that album too i'm a big taylor swift yeah i think it's uh she's doing well she's doing well. She's doing well. Yeah. You're so nice. I like it. I don't always move on with music. I'm not searching.

I listen to what I listen to. And when I'm in the mood to listen to it, I want to listen to these songs. Yeah. And then I don't. So if you find something new, you find it. You're not looking for it. I'm never looking for it. Yeah. Never.

Never going, oh, I got to catch it. And then I can tell pretty quickly if i'm never looking for it yeah never never going oh what's i gotta catch it and then i can tell pretty quickly if i'm gonna like it or not yeah this guy's good we did a show a few weeks ago in huntsville and he turned me on to some some new music yeah really good stuff we listened to some sad songs together on the way back yeah we said let's pick out our saddest songs to listen to and with the words or oh yeah it's like a sad story yeah i'm into that sometimes sometimes you want to just hear a sad story yeah you just like it yeah uh to cry as people say about this vodka yeah sad that's what yeah uh we're in uh also uh want to let everybody know that you guys are doing shows.

I have a drive-in tour that's going to be all over. We're going to Scranton, starting in Scranton, PA, to Houston, doing 20 cities. So come out to those drive-in shows. Some of these places I've been to, look, I think you've got to look at these. I'm going to put on the best show I can put on for you and you gotta look at it's bring people out sit in your car watch outside and drive and it's a pretty unique time and i think that's how uh these are gonna be done i think they're gonna be fun and uh we recorded a little something to air on uh on the drive-in shows so uh it should be fun

so i'll be doing that uh aaron will be at zany's in nashville september what'd you say 30th september 30th yeah recording my first album all right oh wow that's exciting yeah your first album is uh you know i was told when i recorded my first album it's it's a check mark into where you were in your career. Cause I, he's at first I didn't want to, and then they were, and it was the best thing I ever did. Uh, was record that album.

The album helped me and yours will help you. And you're, it's a good thing that you're doing it. Cause sometimes you tend to think, I don't know if I want to do it, but that's how I felt for a long time. And it kept getting pushed back because of COVID. And now I'm like,

Oh, it's here. It's around the corner. So September 30th it's coming up very soon yeah man uh so yeah go get that and uh uh bates you will be in lebanon at the capital theater in lebanon getting too big yeah he's doing theaters yeah who you're there with me and a couple of comedian friends johnny w and and Ed Wiley, two very funny guys. And this will be my return to Lebanon

since the Wilson County livestock. This is the big... This is the big one. This is the big one. Chance to redeem myself in front of my mom and friends. Did you offer tickets to the guy that bought the CD?

Just free tickets? I should, shouldn't I? Yeah. For helping me out. You should reach out to be like, he threw you a bone about getting that CD. That auctioneer. Yeah. Yeah, get him. Maybe Yeah. For helping me out. You should reach out to be like, he threw you a bone by getting that CD.

That auctioneer. Yeah. Yeah. Get him. Maybe you can invite that heifer. He should bring the heifer out. Cow. That'd be fun.

Well, that's good. So what is it? October 3rd. October 3rd. September 30th. Yeah. Aaron is there. October 3rd is Brian Bates.

Lebanon. So if you're here in Nashville, go check all that stuff out uh all right uh as usual we're going to start with uh some comments i uh people have been asking where where are we getting these comments from uh we make them up no the comments come they come from youtube twitter instagram, Instagram, Apple Podcast Reviews, is where Brian has grabbed all the comments from. Also, we did set up an email, and we believe this is the email that works, at natelandatnatebargetzi.com. So if you want to send any comments through email,

you can go to natelandatnatebargetzi.com, or go to YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, Apple Podcast Reviews, and we're going to try to find it and put it out there. So, all right, let's get to the first one. Katie Visagio, Visagio, Visagio, Visagio, V-I-S-A-G-G-I-O. Nate, Brian, and Aaron, y'all are a breath of fresh air

As a mom of two kiddos who just went back to school Some levity and break time is a must And listening to you guys is a great way to relax There's definitely comedy But also some nuggets of genuine life advice Love it Thanks for showing up every week That's very nice, Katie

Congrats on the kids going back to school That was a lot for the parents, for the moms specifically. I mean, dude, because they got pulled out last March and then straight up just rolling through. You don't get that summer. I mean, you don't get the rest of the school year. I mean, it was like two months, and the kids are just home, running around. It's a lot.

What kind of genuine life advice are we giving, though? I bet there's stuff. Nuggets, like she said. There's nuggets. Little nuggets. I don't think she's going to really do anything good because of this podcast, but I think she'll get some advice from somewhere else and we're the advice that gets tagged on to that advice right right i think

you know she's she'll end up grabbing something from some real scholar and then remember so we said the opposite yeah some dumb thing we said yeah and you know and that's that's i'll give advice anybody ask for for advice, I'll tell them. I love that we start with some really nice comments. Cause I just know that the mean ones are coming and I'm looking forward to it. Well, you know, it's not all about the mean ones. It's about the nice, nice people should get a voice. Absolutely.

Call me Brian. I appreciate it. Yeah. Uh, David Daniels. Hey y'all. I just wanted to say a big thank you for the quality comedy and for giving me something real good and funny to listen to after long deployment to the Middle East. Thanks Nate for serving the troops on your USO tours. It means more than you notice. God

bless. Well, God bless you for doing it for serving. Uh, it's yeah, it was amazing to go over to the Middle East and, uh, I mean that, yeah I mean, that guy had to be over there for a long time. So, yeah, thank you for doing it. Do you remember which groups you've performed for? We've had people ask. They're all up there. Yeah, they've pointed that out, and they could tell, the brigades. Yeah.

Well, that's who it would be for. That's a lot. That's a lot up there yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean i've been over there like six seven times wow that's great uh yeah like quake iraq bahrain beauty bahrain uh djibouti when we went they we drove around and that was the first one i went to. They took us downtown. They said it all shuts down at noon. People work until noon, and then people get crazy.

They're hooked on some kind of chewing tobacco or something that makes them see things. Hashish, is it? Maybe. Yeah, it's like grass almost. Yeah. Something. That could be. It could not be it, too.

But just as confident that it is it, I'm just as confident that it's not. Okay. But it's something like that. And we were just driving down the road, and then some guy just came running down the street chasing us and screaming. And we just drove off, and they were like, yeah, it's downtown. That's Djibouti. That's Djibouti.

I'm sure maybe it's not all like that one street was, but. That's the name of the city and the country. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Djibouti, Djibouti. The capital of Djibouti is Djibouti. Aaron is bringing it. That was a fun thing to say when you were a kid. Yeah. When you found out that there was a country, Djibouti, Djibouti. The capital of Djibouti is Djibouti. Aaron is bringing it. That was a fun thing to say when you were a kid.

Yeah. When you found out that there was a country called Djibouti and that the capital was also Djibouti, we couldn't believe it. Yeah. I don't think I found that out until later. I found out right now. Yeah, I was going to say like 10 seconds ago. And I was there.

Jay Ness, I was nearly the victim of Brian's sports story when I laughed myself unconscious. After Brian's attempt on my life, I made a huge lifestyle change and have been getting back in shape, almost 30 pounds down. Wow. Still love the podcast. Not only will I not get Brian's name wrong, but I will also be able to point him out in court.

It's crazy. Yeah, 30 pounds. Congrats. Congrats, Jay. That's awesome. 30 pounds downats congrats jayden that's awesome 30 pounds down that hasn't even been that long no that's a quick that's unhealthy how quickly that yeah jayden you're i think it's more how much you shook him i mean can you imagine i mean he must have watched this and then went and cleaned his pantry out i mean that's unbelievable that could borderline be offensive to you i mean he just took it i mean that's talk about motivation good night 30 pounds down i think we're gonna get a follow-up from jayden said i actually had

another problem i did not know about i should not have been losing weight that fast i don't know he's sometimes you can drop you know i lost weight and you drop uh you drop quick a big chunk and then you stop and you plateau and then you plateau like i'm at one set uh i'm around like i i float between 175 180 it took me a long to get down to 180 i felt like was a quick And then now I get stuck in that 175, 180. But I also still eat sweet tarts and sour patch kids. So I eat a lot of stuff that's not good. I mean, real bad. What are you good at?

On that car trip, do you snack like that during the car trip? Yeah. And then it's just, I mean, i'm trying i just can't wrap my head around eating good uh i love like candy i just i mean i when i when i talked to a guy about trying to eat good i told him i ate sour like worms sour worms and he was like really and i was like you don't what do you not get about it he's like you're just like an adult and stuff like you i'm like yeah dude i can eat a bag of them every night i can afford a lot of them yeah yeah i and i just and it's a you know a problem had ice cream last

night what are you gonna do uh i gotta get over it. Good story, even good. Matt Kaczynski. Nate Rance today had me wanting to run through a brick wall. Great advice for anyone to better themselves. Love the podcast a lot. Bon Bon and Aaron are amazing and can't wait to see them both grow like you. Bon Bon. What name do you think you're going to make it as? Because it's not going to be Brian.

It's going to be something else. Bon Bon, I like. You like them all. That's why this keeps happening, because you encourage it. I know. But I love, I mean, Bon Bon. Welcome to the stage. Bon Bon.

You say, I mean, you could be dancing somewhere named Bon Bon. Now imagine the disappointment. Everybody, please welcome to the stage bonbon and then you walk out on stage and like oh god and then some guys like just wait he has to just wait maria alvarez shout out from a stenographer it's when the words like come around the corner and surprise me you know what i mean it's i don't know they're there and it's it's like i just get the you know stenographer there you go well i know but it's honestly it's the word just is like i don't know that's a word you

don't see written very often oh erin no it's whole job is writing it but they just say it uh yeah it kind of surprised me. That's how I look. If I don't know a word, just understand that's what it is. I'm walking down a hallway. I have no idea. This stenographer is about to jump out at me. It was super exciting hearing my favorite people acknowledge this profession exists.

We don't get a whole lot of credit, but this was enough to get me through my felony day. Keep up the good work. You keep up the good work you keep up the good work wow yeah she's doing it and uh lady like we said we said it's probably that's right field dominated by women yeah that's true and so felony day that doesn't sound fun Well, she's just sitting there typing out all kinds of crazy stuff. I wonder if there's men. Men stenographers? Yeah. Have you seen any men? Do men do it?

Or they're just like, you know, just like pecking. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. What did that guy, no. It's like when you go golfing you're asking what'd you get in the last four holes you just that's what the man has to do i'm hold on fast i stopped a while ago uh get that witness back up like yesterday just a long drawn out all right what did everybody what was all right judge what was your name i

didn't get that michelle moore on the subject of closed captioning, I am a closed captioner, and every time I listen to you guys, I think of how much of a nightmare Nate would be to caption. Love the show and look forward to it each week. You guys are awesome. P.S. I vote for Bart to permanently change his name to Breakfast W. Bates. W is, of course, for worried. Worried is still amazing. Breakfast W. Bates. is of course for worried. Worried is still amazing.

Breakfast W Bates. People like breakfast as the, as the name and W for worried. You're worried. Yeah. Like see this and I'm a, it would be a nightmare. So don't,

don't give me any like that. I'm i'm you know too hard on making some fun jokes having a good time hmm this is i have a daughter you're listening to this podcast she doesn't listen uh which she's a fan of bob ripple pants yeah is that where all this started no no that was the first original name I think it started with a genuine mistake couple of genuines and then it grew from there because someone's a bully

they're the ones that went off on it the listeners how about you guys? you guys are bullying him it's not me there's some comments out there now people are just going nuts listeners yeah what about you guys you guys are bullying him it's not me think about all that i mean there's some comments out there now people are just going nuts yeah that because they follow in your lead and they know you like it so they're like i mean they're not they're going after my

appearance it's not like brian i disagree with you on that one thing you look like an old man who lives in a shoe with your red face and your yeah uh again they say i can't read so i had a guy this weekend i get off stage i'm outside i'm sitting at my merch table this guy walks outside he lights a cigarette old man he walks up to me he goes do you say you're from nashville i go yeah he goes well you could roll over three times and be home. And I thought he was making a joke about how close Nashville was to Birmingham. I was like, oh, yeah. Then I thought about it. I was like, oh, man, it's kind of a mean guy.

Oh, you're talking about your size? Yeah. He was saying. Yeah. That is. Just from a random guy that had just seen me. And he was like, oh, man. Anyway, good. Pretty funny. Then he walked back inside. Oh, that is. Just from a random guy that had just seen me, and he was like, oh, man. Anyway, good.

You're pretty funny. Then he walked back inside. Oh, that's great. That is amazing. Never heard that before. Never heard. Yeah, I haven't either. He could roll over three times and be home.

Was he a big guy? No, no, no. Just an old man. A little frail, but not big. I mean, God, the confidence it would say. Maybe he just saw you. He had just seen me. I have plenty of jokes about how I look,

so he felt confident enough to say that. To say it. It really made me laugh, though, because it took me a minute to realize what he meant. Yeah. I thought it would be, yeah, like, yeah, you live close. Yeah, you live close by. Yeah, and you're like, yeah, I'll drive back tonight.

He's like, no, that's not what I meant. He just even makes it even... Now you're not getting it. He just stares at you and you're like, what's that? Golly, roll over three times. I mean, that's... That's like

drives you. Still went out to eat after, didn't you? Still didn't even... Ate at the club didn't even faze you that's the thing you get to you get past it eating bad or like I mean

if I eat bad I do this stuff you can just go you can't bully me into doing something too smart for that Caleb Hales. I've been using short clips of Nate's stand-up for... Hold on.

Start it again. I've been using short clips of Nate's stand-up to start our teacher professional development each week so far this year. We use the Before Guy and Weight Loss ads for goal setting, iced coffee with milk for clear communication, and Dead Horse for not being afraid to ask questions. I'm going to eventually need some new material to share. That's awesome. That's, you know, what's he doing?

Professional development. For teachers. For teacher. Yeah. To start a teacher professional development. It's like seminars. Dead horse for not being afraid to ask questions. That's pretty smart.

Yeah. These are some of the nuggets. That's pretty smart. Yeah. These are some of the nuggets that Katie was talking about. Yeah. Katie gets it. Just a few of them. That's cool. Yeah. Well, hopefully you will get some new material.

One day, Caleb, when we get back out there and do some stand-up. Thank you very much. Brian Lee. It's funny to watch how many times Nate touches and moves his microphone. I just keep yelling, stop it, when he does. Well, I don't know. I'm a fidgeter. I'll get used to it.

It's fun to do. It feels like when you do morning radio. It's like a good time. It's the same thing with the papers. It does feel. It feels. I like it. It feels like you're doing something. it. Yeah. You're doing something.

You're doing something. I guarantee you Brian would be here doing it to Brian Lee. He would be like, you know, messing with everything. Krista Hobdy. More bombing stories, please. Especially from Boo Radley. It's the only book I ever read you read that i did read that i've never read other books but when i was a younger the only one i read that was the

quickest retraction i've ever heard i mean well i've read them now okay you know as i you know but i that's the one i remember them making us read that book. You know, she just now wrote another book. You know, Harper Lee? Yeah. She wrote To Kill a Mockingbird and then was like, I'm done for a while. Well, I think they just published it. She wrote it a long time ago, right?

I think she just wrote a new one. A couple, two or three years ago. She's dead now. Harper Lee is? Yeah. I don't know. I guess the genius isn't as smart. What did she work up when she wrote that next book, dude?

She wrote it right before she Mr. Djibouti She died So Sorry to break it to you But it's over So I have a little joke about Harper Lee

55 years after the first What year was it 2015 I have a little joke about Harper Lee and my act. 55 years after the first. What year was it? 2015? Yeah, 2015. 55 years after Kill Mockingbird. Imagine being your first book so good, you don't have to do anything else for 55 years. This one's called The Jay Bird Lives On.

It's funny. It's all just bird stuff she wasn't as creative as people think uh it's a lot of bird stuff you're doing a lot of bird stuff huh does it have to do with birds not really uh but i like bird stuff in the title cory martin there's nothing better than laughing until you cry and your bombing stories made it happen thanks for such a fantastic podcast to break up my week one question i have how do you all feel about competition comedy shows seem like the winners don't stay around just curious what your take on that is so i guess like last comic standing or the stuff that they're doing now uh i'm fine with it i mean i'll try to audition

for that stuff i didn't get on that was the last time standing was the one that was like one that really hurt me that i didn't get on like hurt my feelings and you know it was like sad because i thought being clean i was like i'll be i'll be built for this and uh i mean i went in it the last time i went into it the other times I wasn't expecting the last time, something a lot of people don't know. The bigger you get into comedy, you would get audition times for those. So like they'd show the people waiting in line.

I waited in line. I mean, we spent the night once at Caroline's. We all stood in line. We got there 9 p.m., 10 p.m i remember hannibal burris was there he came uh we were all there and we just moved to new york and it was pretty cold out and we had a van my buddy dustin chaffin was there like all these comics were there and then we went in and auditioned the next day i did not get it. But it's like those were when you waited.

But then the longer you got, the more you got into comedy. And again, this is – and some comics don't like it that you can get audition spots. But that's what it is, man. That's why you stick around, and that's why you wait around and do comedy because then you eventually do – American Idol is the same way. They get those people – a lot of the big ones you see, they're really good ones. They're getting audition times because if they're that some of them if they're that good they're not going to have to they're not going to you're not going to see them be like oh yeah i was

just waiting in line for 12 hours uh so the later you get but so the last time i auditioned for it uh giraldo wasdo was the host. And I went in and thought I was going to just nail it and did not. So here we are. But I'm not against them. I think they're, you know, I don't really watch them. I think it's hard for me to watch them. But I think they're great, and they have made a lot of comics the first

last comic standing was wonderful the first few seasons of it were amazing and i think did those guys actually you know rich voss um you know a lot of them i mean amy schumer was on yeah ralphie ralphie yeah yeah big acts yeah john reed melzo Bowden. I think he won. John Heffron. So, you know, an AGT. Tom Cotter made it for an AGT. Gary Veeder made it. So, yeah, I like the competition shows. And I think people do like them.

You hit a point as a comedian, though, you wouldn't go on it. And so that's the only thing is like some of the guys the more they get you get your own fan base you're like i'm not gonna do it uh for no you know reason just because you're like it just doesn't fit in what you're trying to do uh but yeah mark warren aaron looks like someone that wants to drive a wrangler but settled for a Honda CRV. I do look like that. I don't know why that's funny, but it is. Bass Pro Shop. Got a new hat. Oh, yeah.

I'm not helping things today, but yeah. I would love a Wrangler. Yeah. Wrangler would be fun. But you do, but he drives a van. Yeah, it's actually way worse. So he is that. Yeah, drive a minivan.

Chrysler Town and Country. Yeah, this guy almost way worse. So he is that. Yeah, drive a minivan. Chrysler Town and Country. Yeah, this guy almost nailed it. Exactly. Could you be like a real Southern dude? Can you do anything? It's just not authentic. No, it's not a smart thing. Old money?

New money? No. Huh? It's just, you know, you grow up doing what your parents do. My parents never hunted, so I never hunted growing up. It's just stuff like that. Parents were in think tanks. That's where we're getting at.

No one just goes to Notre Dame, man. We're slowly going to pick it apart. He went to MTSU. I didn't go anywhere. He went to MTSU and no one went to MTSU. No, I went when everyone went because it was so easy to get in. Still is, but. Yeah.

MTSU, I remember going to look at MTSU. Oh, really? Yeah. We didn't want you. It was a huge campus. I just remember. No one wanted me. I went to Austin Peay.

I went to go look at a college visit. I didn't ever even got really pushed to go i just would like tag along and they were you know i'd be like oh what are y'all y'all eating here i was asking whether cafeterias where's the cafeteria so what do they do do you stay on campus like i just know nothing when people talk about college and they're talking about majoring and minor, I mean, I have. No, where'd you go to grad school?

Like, I don't even know what they're talking about. I don't understand when someone says, well, I did my undergrad. What is that? What's undergrad? What is undergrad? That's just regular. That's regular college? Yeah.

Why do they say that then? Not everybody says it like that no but if you had a graduate degree then you would say i did my undergrad at so and so and then i got my graduate so people do their undergrad at one school and then go graduate so they could be like i went to undergrad at tennessee but i got my degree my master's at so and so do they get a degree from tennLC the first? I got an undergrad from MTSU. That's all I got.

You get your bachelor's, and then if you want to do extra schooling, you go do graduate school. Bachelor's is regular. Yeah, that's a four-year. Yeah. Yeah. All right. They use a lot of big words. College people use big words, and they're trying to trick you

into sounding like they did something. Post-doctorate? Yeah. It's all kind of ridiculous. As a guy that didn't go, I went to remedial classes. We're a pretty straight community college. It is what it is. It's two years.

You leave. That's it. No one's saying, I did my whatever. We're honest with everybody. College, do you have an undergrad? What do you have? Yeah. Notre Dame?

I have a bachelor's degree. Bachelor's degree. Yeah. See, that means you just, nothing special. You just made it through. Yeah, just a marketing degree. Run of the mill. It's pretty standard, yeah.

Nothing special. Just graduated from Notre Dame. Notre Dame, I know, but that's dumb for Notre Dame. I mean, since you've done a little more than that. Yeah. Notre Dame's not proud of me. I want to make that very clear. They're not thrilled.

No, no. They don't claim me. They don't talk about me. You grab, yeah. It's like you bought, you got a t-shirt that everybody wears. You don't have any different one. Yes. You're just walking around.

Right. Standard Notre Dame t-shirt. I got Walmart Notre Dame gear. Yeah. That's what I got. It's You're just walking around. Right. Standard Notre Dame t-shirt. I got Walmart Notre Dame gear. Yeah. That's what I got. It's not sponsored by the school. Not officially licensed. Not officially licensed.

Were you there when they played the national championship against Alabama? That was my junior year, yeah. Did you go to the game? I didn't. I didn't get the ticket. They had a ticket lottery. Yeah. And I didn't get it.

Oh. So. You bucked out then. I was at home. Yeah. Well, it was still fun. Yeah. I had a lot of friends that went.

Josh Sternberg. I love the podcast, guys. Biscuit's story about bombing in front of his mother at a livestock auction was gold. Nate, you have to bring your wife on the show so we can get her perspective and stories about what it's like to live with you. Yeah, we'll have her on. She's here. She'll come on. I mean, we're going like to live with you. Yeah, we'll have her on. She's here. She'll come on.

I mean, we're going to do one with her. I'm looking forward to that. Yeah, yeah. Let's interview her. She's got her undergrad, bachelor's, something. She didn't tempt you. She's got something. Marketing, too, like you.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Actually used it. Do you think the parents get mad when you don't because you go into comedy and then i mean obviously you get good experience going to notre dame people should go to college and then you do what you do but i mean you could not have gone right that's true i think about that all the time yeah i used it for a little bit right after i graduated with a couple jobs that i had but i'm not using social media for i can't think of one concrete thing that i learned i tried to think of something the other day for my marketing classes i can't think of i had great

teachers and everything but i don't i can't think of one thing that i learned when you ran hardy's social media accounts i would love that marketing i would have been honored to have run hardy social media accounts i ran accounts for social media accounts for plumbers and hvac companies oh you did do that yeah uh nicole hears hires h-i-e-r-s i'm very interested to know laura's maiden name after nate had something to say about sar Sarah P's last name during the comments. She was pointing out how you kind of Sarah P had a very unusual last name. Yeah. And I think she's she's pointing out how well Laura had. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is true.

Laura's name. My name is Bargetti. Can I give a maiden name? Isn't that the security code? I was going to say, yeah, that's a security question. For Harper? I get asked my mom's maiden name on everything. I don't think you don't want to say.

It does. It's Smith. It's Blair. So, yeah, she was Laura Blair. It's her middle name now. So, Harper, our daughter's middle It's Blair. So, yeah, she was Laura Blair. It's her middle name now. So, and Harper, our daughter's middle name is Blair. What happens to your middle name? Yeah.

She changed her middle name? Yeah. Laura Blair. I thought you just added it on. You can choose what you want to do with it. No, yeah. She got rid of it. Wow.

Laura Lynn. And then got rid of... Lynn's gone lynn's gone right laura yep got rid of lynn blair's back i was offended that she wanted to keep it uh i said no you're bargetti now and your middle name should be Bargetzi still. My middle name's Lee, and that's when we met Lynn Lee. We lived on Lynn Lee. I lived in high school. The street we lived on was Lynn Lee. Might as well just go ahead and give my mom's maiden name and social security number.

I mean, let's go ahead and just do it all. We're eventually going to get questioned into i'm just giving out it's a scam mentioned uh his maiden mom's maiden name once uh what's his last four digit of social by any chance and i'm like well these are interesting questions and then you go remember because you said that i go oh yeah and then i just go oh yeah that's five seven two nine like i had to give it all out and we're just getting picked apart we sit up here uh connor vincent nate have your friend from high school who memorized screen with you as a guest on the podcast i will i will john paul uh backyard living built pools he uh does his dad he worked for his dad uh precision pools in

mount juliet and they he would do that in high school and then he went and started his own pool company against his dad a competing a competing yeah i always tell him though i'm gonna go to his dad i'm a precision pools guy i always i always say i don't i go i'm a i'm original i go no they but they're they're fine it's not he started his own thing but they both do it both very good at pools yeah uh got the wilson county market and lockdown willard garrett you guys go a little too hard on Berkshire Hathaway. He's actually pretty funny. Berkshire.

I don't know if it's sincere when he calls me Berkshire Hathaway. I want to say thank you, Wheeler. Yeah. I don't, you know, we go hard. I do think it's so funny. Everybody's like, you guys are going to take it easy. And you just call him a made up name. You guys go hard on him.

Kenny O'Brien. I like the idea of Nate. Unbelievable counter that can pop up on the bottom right of the screen. That's a good idea. That is a good idea. Unbelievable. That's an unbelievable idea. I say unbelievable a lot.

All right. And I'm going to try to stop it. You're going to get all the stuff that makes whatever I do work. You're going to pick me apart. I won't do anything. I'm going to just be up here. Hello. I am Nate Barton.

Just very not fun at all. Did you get that from your family, or did they get it from you? Because your dad says unbelievable a lot. I don't know. It all blends together. We say idiot a lot too. Everybody's an idiot. That's her.

We don't curse in other ways, but idiot was the everybody. Well, that's just because you're an idiot. And it's just yelling. And people are like, you shouldn't be saying that. I'm like, we call everybody. It's a family thing.

It's a family thing. It's a family name. Marty Wall, does it seem unfair that if a musician writes a good song, they can sing it for the rest of their life and people don't even want to hear new stuff? But if a comedian writes a good bit, he has to never do it again. You know it is. I mean, if you write a good bit, I think I could definitely see I'll be doing some bits for a very long time that people want to hear but yes i mean very much so i mean look i'm going to do

these driving shows and a couple of these towns i've just went to and uh so i'll have some new jokes with it i think i'll do a good show i'm hoping you know people have only seen these this act has evolved since i i guess I did it last. But, I mean, if I was a musician, I could just go to your town every two months. Yeah. If you're Led Zeppelin, which I compare myself, I'm the Led Zeppelin of comedy. But, I mean, you have a good run. I mean, you could go play 20 songs and just go every year.

And people are just going to go and want to see it see it i saw boston live you know the band boston and they got out there and they go how many people want to hear our new songs and the place kind of cheered and then he goes how many people want to hear all the songs from our first album the place went nuts and that's all they did ah that's smart when they can get it like that's when a band has to just get it, man. Like if you're Boston, you had your little peak of just being good in your run. Yeah. You made unbelievable stuff, which is super hard to do. It's almost impossible to write these kind of songs

where they become these legend songs. And then just, yeah, and be like, it is what it is, man. Now go collect that. They just collect money and do shows, and people have a good time. Last one, Louis Lopez. Since Nate and Bratwurst saw the horse and old lady at the same time, who gets the bit if they both experience it at the same time? Does it normally go to the headliner, or is it a called-it system,

even if the opener wants to develop a joke from the shared experience? I threaten Bratwurst's life if you ever talked about that dead horse uh uh yeah i mean we both i mean i'm the one that saw it and brought it up so i would have that in that experience i would have been the one with the joke right you would agree with that you didn't even see it i'm the one said that horse was standing up looking unbelievable yeah healthiest horse i said you got the line but stole it from me i went on stage and i was gonna tell it that night but then i forgot and when i got off i was like oh i don't go back up there but he was already up there telling me uh yeah so in honest that one i saw it and the one that said it.

And then coming up, you know, I don't know if we've had any. Have we had any other jokes like that? No, but what about, like, McDonald's? McDonald's is the one, my McDonald's story with Louis. I think I told it last week, but that is the one where Louis takes a burger, and he wants to fight that guy. That one had me, Lewis, and Dan Soder. Dan Soder is actually the one that took the bite of the burger.

And when I told that story, again, we would always just tell it when we were on shows together. So if I followed Dan, our Lewis would be hosting a show and I would always bring it up there. And then Dan would bring it up. We all had shots at that story so everybody could tell it on their own and then i ended up making it actually into a bit and i but i would say i said something to him i was like hey do you care look i've actually turned this into like a bit and then i heard it and once they heard it they're like yeah yeah of course it's yours now and then uh dan's out of the joke i don't even tell him because it just got too complicated i would have never made that dead horse joke i mean i even said last week i already thought that joke was gone yeah yeah well you're not as good as i am well no that's true and no that's not

uh i'm joking that was a joke don't get don't write in be like why are you gonna make it when brian cry everyone you know just uh uh yeah yeah it is a unique uh thing but when you when you come up with a joke when other comics are there you know i mean you just ask you kind of say like can i do that are you gonna do that you know soda had uh one a long time ago that I wanted uh golly he had a joke about um when they try uh make it make up on monkeys or something you know what do they try makeup on or they say these this was not tested on animals yeah yeah Saying maybe they put it on a chicken or a monkey. And he just pictured like, say it's a monkey. They're testing makeup on monkeys to see what they do.

And they're just saying, do you try it on the monkey? And he's like, no, no. So the testing is actually them just, the monkey's opinion on the makeup. He's like, I don't like it. It's too blue. I'm like, what do you think i'm trying to go out what is it two in the morning it's embarrassing like it was something like that i think it was that do it chickens though something to do with chickens but it was a i loved the idea and then he never could just get it uh i'm gonna tell him maybe he should he should

try to bring it back but he could never get it to work and i and i going to tell him maybe he should, he should try to bring it back, but he could never get it to work. And I, and I liked it. It was like, I think I was like, I think I could do something with it. And, and then even say,

he's like, all right, well you try then. And, but then I never, you know, sometimes it's hard when someone gives you a joke. It's you think you'd like the joke idea,

but for some reason, if you didn't come up with it, you're just kind of, you're like, I don't know. Um, I don't know if I can do it. So, all right. All right.

It was sure nice seeing the teams back out on the gridiron over this weekend. As we talked about, the Titans, very big, very big week. We won, missed four field goals. Made one that mattered. Lucky for us, that was just one week one. All right. So this week, we don't have a stand-up clip to play but uh we saw a story uh and got us thinking uh is a new york times article from september 8th about how the pandemic has changed grocery shopping i think people were

like oh what are they gonna talk about this week? And then... We all love grocery stores. We all love grocery stores. It's interesting to see how it's changed. When the pandemic hit in mid-March for the first time in a generation, Americans began spending more money at the supermarket than at places where someone else made the food. Grocers saw eight years of projected sales growth packed into one month. That's unbelievable. Eight packed into one month. That's unbelievable.

Eight years in one month. Wow. Shopping trends that were in their infancy were turbocharged. And the article goes on and blah, blah, blah. No, that's unbelievable. So this week we're going to talk about grocery stores. And we're going to let Brian, y'all, I can't read. So I'm always going to read comments, so don't be suggesting that.

I think that's fun. I enjoy something. I mean, I'm two seconds from not even being on this podcast. So give me something. I'm going to eventually just come and do the comments and leave. With Holly. Me and Holly. Hollylly let's go uh uh but uh yeah so brian all right so we'll start with the beginning of grocery stores a little fun fact here the first self-service grocery store this felt like doing a school you know when you let they go all right everybody uh uh brian uh bring

brian bates uh and then you it sounded exactly yeah you don't like the way i start stuff i don't think uh like your stand-up like jokes well that's this i've read like three times on the show and twice you've called me out on the way I start it. I don't think I'm good at starting, but you go, okay, here we go. But yeah, now I'm thinking about my jokes. Yeah, how do you start your joke? You say, hello, folks. You say folks?

Yeah. I'm pretty sure you say folks. it for every joke no when you come out when you come out hello folks and you might say when you leave you don't think you say do you say folks i don't think so i think you do okay every joke every yeah every joke hey that's his that's his thing that's what people like that's his and he sells t-shirts in the lobby that say, Hey, hello, folks. And it's just a picture of him. That's his image.

Hello. It's just seven hands that go like that. Hello, folks. And then he does his act and then every joke I start with it again yeah hello folks then goodnight folks

how good did that be man that's so good I mean that's just like that is that would be like if you're a stand up comic you just got pulled out of Lebanon and you didn't know Nashville exists. And then you're like, I've been doing comedy in Lebanon for 15 years. All right.

Sorry. All right. Where were we? Oh, yeah. At the beginning? Yeah. Let's start over. The first self-service grocery store, Piggly Wiggly, opened in 1916 in Memphis, Tennessee.

We had a Piggly Wiggly in Old Hickory that we used to always ride our bike to and go in. They're still around. Yeah, we had one in Lebanon. It may still be there. It's big. Do you remember? You ever seen Piggly Wiggly? Yeah, I had a Piggly Wiggly sweatshirt in college that I would wear, and I thought that would make me interesting.

Did it? It did not. So now you're trying Bass Pro Shops? What you got working underneath? I mean, that was pretty good. What you got working underneath there today? I think you got something special. Just a shirt, man. Yeah, it's a little something special underneath there. Just a shirt. Piggly Wiggly, they didn't have

them where I grew up, but they have them here in Nashville. You're dressed like you're going somewhere nice, and then you had a flat tire, so you had to put that on to change it. So did you get dirty? So yeah, there you go. I think I got a hoodie in the back. That's how you're – you can tell there's a little collar of something. Where are you guys going?

We got a big night out tonight. Had a flat tire, so I put this on. I think you're going to a luau. It's a shirt. I remember when the grocery store in Lebanon was Mosher's Grocery. I don't know if that's a chain or just at Lebanon. You know where I went this weekend? Meijer.

I went to a Meijer. I'm a big Meijer fan. I've never been to a Meijer. That is a store that's like, what do you want? We got it. I've never been to a Meijer. That is a store that's like, what do you want? We got it.

I mean, a grocery store, it's a Target. And a full, which I guess Target's doing that now too. Yeah. But I mean, I've never, clothes. I mean, I don't think I've ever really been in one. What'd you get there? Nothing. I would go in there and- You just went for fun?

Just walk around. So I rented a, I drove to Columbus. And so I rented a Tesla, like on that Turoro i don't know if anybody's ever done turo but you can rent really cool cars and they're not they're as i mean you can rent a tesla for the same price you'd rent a cheap car at avis or something or whatever uh so and then they it's just a fun car so i've i never had uh since there's like a six-hour drive i was like oh you know what i'll go i'll rent a fun car and uh so i rented a tesla and drove it so i had to charge it like three times and you i mean you have to just go it tells you to charge it like every i charge it like bowling green louis it like Bowling Green, Louisville, Cincinnati.

And that was – then at the hotel in Columbus. Then coming back was basically the same kind of thing. And so they'd have like superchargers, and there'd always be a Target or a Meyers. And you'd just go do that and go walk in there and just you'd have like 10, 15 minutes. It was – I mean, I enjoyed it. I just walked around these Meyers.

I've never – you know, I didn't really get anything. I just walked around. Are they big in the Midwest? Yeah. I guess so, yeah. I mean, Meyers and one was in Bowling Green. I don't think they're here. Yeah.

But Bowling Green, there was one. And so, yeah, that was it. I bought an LOL. So, that was the only thing. A what? An LOL. It's kids. LOL doll? Yeah, an LOL doll. That's the only thing. A what? An LOL to kids. LOL doll?

Yeah, an LOL doll. That's the only thing. For my daughter. Little doll. So, Piggly Wiggly opened in Memphis, Tennessee, 1916. Prior to this, grocery stores operated over the counter with customers asking a grocer to retrieve items from inventory like at a gas station yeah i think about like old westerns you see where yeah you go up to the counter and a catalog yeah and then you know like the guy behind the counter go get me

three bags of barley or i don't know you know what i'm talking about oh yeah and they bring the in like yeah they're buying big bulk things you just don't go pick it off a shelf you go tell them up front what you want and they go get it for you and bring it out to you so yeah piglet wiggly was the first place to really trust people yeah to try it do it that's quite a shift self service you go grab everything yourself. And then you just get it back. I wonder how many, yeah, I mean, like, over-the-counter, that seems crazy to me. Go over here.

Sorry, I was jumping ahead to the next thing. In rural areas, general stores offered credit to their customers, a system of payment that works on trust rather than modern credit cards. This allowed farm families to buy staples until their harvest could be sold. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. There's no credit card, but they just are like, yeah, you're good. That makes me think of Andy Griffith or something.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's exactly what these things were. I'm trying to think if there's any. I've definitely bought stuff where I didn't do it. I see a lot of like, I saw one last night on Facebook. I see people post this a lot, how they're in line. This friend of mine posted, she was at Publix. She got up there to pay. Didn't have her, somehow she left her money or whatever and then a kind customer behind you know paid 20 27 for it

so i see that a lot yeah i see that uh yeah they do you know chick-fil-a does that where you you buy the thing in front of it and so my sister was telling us about it. To pay it forward? To pay it forward. So a lot of times at Chick-fil-A, you just get there. And I've had it happen to me, so it happens a lot. And they're like, the person in front of you paid for this. And then you got to pay for it.

Don't you have a joke about this? I do, yeah. And then, yeah, so they pay it. They keep doing that. And my sister, when she first did it was just like oh wow thank you and drove off she was the one that ended it you know

she doesn't make any at that time she made no money she is kind of who it's for it's really better that way because you accept a gift as it should be I guess you can keep it rolling it's really better that way yeah because you accept a gift as it should be yeah instead of but if you i guess you can keep it rolling it's gotta end sometime yeah yeah that's good that's good

that's so funny just to be like all right that's cool man thank you all right see you drive off i mean yeah i mean what if uh i think i remember one time i I had it, the person even said they were like, it's like $20 to $5. Even just being like, if you want to drive off, it's okay. Because the person ordering doesn't know. If you knew, then you couldn't even get what you wanted. Because you would feel terrible. You'd be like, just give me a lemonade.

Yeah, if everybody's going to do it, I'd rather just pay for my own. Right. Also, everybody could just do that, pay for their own. It's the same system. It's actually the same thing, except you don't have to be the guy that pays for a $40 van. It's his joke, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, go check it out. September 30th. Zanies. Zanth. Zanies. Zanies. Check out. You're going to hear Aaron. That'll be my closer. It's all, everything's kind of counting on that one.

Hello, folks. Hello, folks. The first retail self-checkout was invented in 1992 and became prevalent in grocery stores across America in the early 2000s. Self-checkout was invented in 1992 and became prevalent in grocery stores across America in the early 2000s. Self-checkout was that early? I mean, I bet it wasn't around much before then. I mean, you've been playing fantasy as long as self-checkout. Yeah.

Yeah. Got it in 92. I guess in 2000s, it was like regular. That even seems crazy I think now it's just so much more prevalent but

do you guys do stuff checkout I do it every time sometimes you have to sometimes now they almost make you open yeah

you go to Kroger that's all they got they force you to yeah Bill Burr had a joke about that where he's like

you know you gotta go and it's like I gotta work I work's like you know you got to go and uh it's like we're gonna work i like i work here now yeah like i gotta make you go get a sandwich and they're like uh mayonnaise and mustard's over there you're like yeah i'm paying you to make the sandwich i just had a big uh current so there's a yogurt place uh here and it's a do-it-yourself yogurt place and they have a tip jar at the end that's for you to take out some yeah yeah that's what it should be yeah oh thank you

that's funny that's what it should be yeah because it doesn't i uh my neighbor i mean because you do feel bad because it's like teenagers working yeah in there and so whatever man like who cares you know but i i was like i just have a problem with it i don't look i don't mind tipping or whatever but uh i don't it to me giving to a homeless person is better they at least are sitting on the side of the road like they they're having to do something. This kid, you do everything. You put all the toppings on. All they do is you, so you walk in, you grab whatever you want to grab. You do the ice cream.

You do all the toppings. You get the spoon, the napkin. You put it on the thing that it weighs it. And then they, puts the price they turn the ipad around and then you swipe and pay and then they turn it and that's it and then they said and you can feel free to tip i mean i don't even know you know you know what i mean like where you're yeah i'm fine with look i'm and i it's it's high school kids whatever i'm fine with it i'm not saying they're – but it doesn't –

there's a point that you're like, all right, man. You can't just – I'm not – you can't take full advantage of me that I have to – I'm paying – I'm doing it. I'm working. I'm doing more than they're doing. You're like, I don't even need to be here. I did everything. I mean, unless the place doesn't pay the kids or something, that's –

Well, all those places now have the touchpad. They'll flip it around, and it's like 15%, 20%, 30%, or other. They're doing 30%. Like, it's nothing. When I get my hair cut, he does 30%. Yeah. I tell him. I go, I was like, that's insane.

Because, you know, it's like you just. Do you ever push other and type in your own amount? I think I'd give him 30%, to be honest. Yeah. I just do it uh but it's i i have to do it because i made a point about how ridiculous it was so then i realized because i stood took a stand i will just pay to the third i'll always do the 30 but i i do it so i can always tell you that it's ridiculous that you're offering 30%. I mean, dude, 30% tipping. And I mean, can you imagine?

No. I mean, at what point are they going to worry? We should be at 50%. What point is it just like just double that, you know, just do double. And then, you know, tipping is out of control. We should do an episode about tipping well but yeah these self-service the self-scan things now most places they have one register open maybe yeah and then they just really want you to go well i mean you've been

in self-checkout too and they're they don't it's not open how's it not open it's a robot yeah turn it on turn it on like yeah when they're like ah these two are not these two are they tired are they on break i've never thought are they smoking are these robots smoking now that they need to go is it their one had to leave early her wife's her his wife's pregnant so he had to get out of here. I mean, I don't under... How are they not always on? They should never be closed. Never. Right?

Can you get gas? You can get gas whenever you want, right? I guess so. I'm pretty sure you can, even if the place is closed. If the place is closed, yeah. How are these self-checkouts? I'd like to know that. Why are they... Doesn't that not make sense?

Yeah. Maybe they just break or something. I'm a crazy person. You know what? I like Home Depot. they have self-checkout but they there's just like a scanner gun just chilling there and you just pick it up and you do everything you don't have to swipe you don't have to swipe it across yeah oh yeah you got the gun yourself so at meyers i saw i didn't really i saw a sign for it but it seemed like you can do an app and scan and go like so i think you can kind of be buying as you're leaving and then you just end up and i and i thought i actually thought of that as i walked by so i knew we were gonna

talk about this this week uh was that i thought oh i was like i bet that's what's going to happen like it's going to end up being you're just scanning all of it on your phone and then i mean you know there's not gonna be people in there yeah i think we'll get to that my wife i just realized she's smarter than me than everything i knew that but she scans like if you go through self-checkout yeah you just take the bark just touched it on the thing my wife takes it and like literally drags it across like she'll start off the pad yeah and go all the way across and it gets confused because it's like what are you doing yeah it's very funny like she'll go from one end to the other because she thinks you have to drag it you know it feels like you work there it's kind of

like a little uh you know a little camp you gotta be like i gotta work at a grocery store for a little bit and that's what you feel yeah uh i remember when they first were doing it of trying to get that thing to weigh your food i mean yeah just the problems it's gotten a lot better but at the beginning i just remember it was a huge problem like you would just be said and never picked it up. And never – it's like can't do it again. You have to get someone to come over. Yep.

And you're like, oh, no. And whoever is sitting there to help. I always have issues with the bagging. It's always like place the item back in the bag. I would – I'd pay money to watch you go through one. Well, I have issues. Just to struggle with. Just to, you know through one I have issues Just to struggle with If I have a choice I don't do it

Yeah me either I'd do it every time If I got just one thing Then I go to the self checkout But if I have a cart full of stuff I don't like having all the different bags On the self checkout I can't even tell you about something I bought

I had a cart of stuff. Yeah. I mean, I'm not buying. You don't buy groceries for the family? No. I don't know if you know the structure of a real family, how it works. We're a very old-fashioned family. So did your dad go to do all the major shopping?

No, he never did. I don't do a lot of the're modern men typical the things that but my wife is completely she's the wife and the man the husband of this marriage uh she's double duty fixes uh changes the oil and goes and buys the groceries well i, I have. Hello Fresh is like, she does a lot of that. Oh, okay. So we do a lot of that. And if I go buy stuff, I mean, I go buy the stuff, you know, I'll buy my things.

But she goes and buys stuff. When I was gone so much, I was never here. So there was really no consistency of going. But when I go, I always do self-checkout. I like it. I can remember when grocery stores first even had the scanner swipe. Not where you did it, but even when the person behind the counter did it. Yeah. I can remember when it just went through the belt,

and they just rang it up on a cash register. Yeah. I really can't. You don't remember that? I don't know. I think so. I think so. I think you were in your't remember that uh I don't know I think so I think so I

I think you were in your formative years when I like so like 92 I was you know I mean

50 14 or yeah I was born 79 I was 13 so I was not paying attention where you would have been

out so I was there. I was around. Yeah. You don't remember anything past 2010 Harley. No, I don't remember a lot of stuff, but I'm talking about like,

I remember the first time sliding, like automatic sliding doors. Oh, wow. Like I, that freaked us out because before it was just a swinging door and you just pushed it open and came out. And then the first time you walk up and some sensor opens it for you.

Yeah. I mean, just, oh. If I could, I would pay money to be able to watch you go through all these things for the first time. I mean, it would be my favorite thing alive. It's still my favorite thing to watch him get on an escalator. He gets on it with just it's i mean just like he doesn't trust it those have been around a while right i know but he steps on it as if as if like he's had something happen and he's like all right i'm back and then like him

and that's gonna have a relationship and they and he's been tricked by it before and it's the everything he gets on it i mean it's normal walk into like just you know like will ferrell and elf on the yeah escalator remember that yeah he steps on very it's very gently then he's on it's like the first step is nice and calm and then the second step's immediate and then we ride it and we get out you know then it's normal and then we get to the end it's like here we go again yeah it's got to focus like soup nazi getting ready for before you run into soup those moving walkways at the airports i'm not a big fan of those either i love those dude i feel like i'm flying i try to see if i can get on and off without any kind of big move you know without, without, so it's obvious.

Yeah. You know how like, you know, when you get off, you always, you see, there's a, yeah, like a stumble. So I try to, I like to try to get on it and see if I can, it's almost like athletically make yourself stay in one motion. And also we'll walk next to people sometimes regular to see how much faster they really is. It's a lot faster. It's a, it's, sometimes regular, to see how much faster they really is. It's a lot faster. It's definitely faster.

But I mean, some of those people, when you see them, man, people get on there and it's a ride. I mean, they just block the whole thing and then you can't get by them. And you feel stupid not walking on the walkway. Escalator, you don't feel dumb just standing there. But on one that's a moving walkway, you feel like a moron. Yeah. If you're just standing. It's not going fast enough to not walk.

Yeah, it's not a ride. Seinfeld, I joke about that. Like I think you're saying it's not a ride at the airport. And people just get on it and ride it. Yeah, go ahead. I was going to say, he saw me ride a scooter for the first time

in D.C. One of those bird scooters? Yeah, it was the first time either one of us did it. Yeah. It's a lime. A lime. Oh, man.

Yeah. And it was, dude, you would run to get off of it. I didn't trust it at all. There was no stopping. He wouldn't stop. They have brakes. No. Him, I didn't trust him at all. There was no stopping. He wouldn't stop.

They have brakes. No. Him, he didn't use them. But he would get going and to get... He would just jump off and just... Like run real quick with his feet

to like slow it down. I mean, it was... Oh, he documented it on Instagram. Yeah. I probably still have the video. We reposted it on our Nate Land podcast. Because I posted it on Instagram, I think. I don't know if I did.

But it was wonderful just watching him. Never really got it. I mean. You didn't figure it out by the end? No. No. Hello, folks. He didn't figure it out by the end? We're in D.C. No, no. He didn't, you know. Hello, folks.

He didn't figure it out. He, I mean, that's what he had to do is he, as he goes into a crowd, folks, hello, folks, come in. Come in. I mean, you had, I would just see, I would lose you and then just see you just, I mean, it was a lot of fast and slow. There was never just a solid speed. It was either 100 miles an hour or not moving.

No, I'm saying him on the scooter. Oh, okay. But yes, DC's crowded. Yeah, DC's crowded, but him on the scooter, it was either full on or it's not working. There was not a comfortable riding speed have you been back on them since i've practiced some on my own yeah just in case do you it's fun isn't it do you like it you know it's my favorite way to get around yeah whenever they're around i always try to take them uh i feel dumb. I feel dumb, but I get over that pretty quickly.

Yeah. I know I look stupid, but it's so much fun that I get over it. Then you don't care. I spent $100 in Oklahoma City a couple weeks ago. I don't lie. That's how long I was on it. Wow. $100.

That's a lot. It was too much. I didn't know it would be that much. Yeah. I was a little upset. I was sweating so much didn't know it would be that much yeah i was a little upset but i was sweating so much i mean i was so nervous yeah riding that thing yeah yeah i mean the effort he was putting into something that i mean i can imagine getting off an escalator and sweating that's what it was you're riding a he would have sweated less on a regular scooter

yeah yeah that's fine it was i mean we were i mean we was like yeah let's just try it because i don't want everything i agreed to where i was like let's try this because no one's around we were at an area where no one was really around but we quickly got into heavy but we quickly got into i mean it's people everywhere in dc you went to like the mall like where all the main stuff is somewhere near there yeah Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't, I do feel embarrassed by it. So I don't, I don't want to completely ride it,

but it's happening so much there that you don't feel out of the, you know, you don't feel that weird. I couldn't steer it straight. So that was my, I would like literally veer, like there'd be an old lady's walk and I would just be heading straight toward them and I had to just jump off and stop it. But when he jumps off, he's got to jump and run with it. Yeah.

That's the best part is just to see he's got to jump off. And then, like, I mean, if you were, you know, catching a wild cow, like if a steer got loose and you tried to run and grab its horns and whoa. And then like, it was like that, like him jumping off. Oh, I'd love to see that. All right. Okay. Since the pandemic, the need to avoid infection has taught people how to get by on fewer trips to the store and to make good shopping lists. Before the coronavirus, 19% of Americans shop for food more than three times a week, according

to a study by the management firm McKinsey & Company. That number has dropped to 10% by June. Three times a week seems like a lot to me. It is a lot. I'm a once a week, probably, person. On when you go to the store? Yeah. That's what people are doing right now.

Yeah. I feel like more than once a week week you're kind of a bad shoppers why why aren't you just getting everything i mean there are definitely times i'll forget something but but three times a week yeah i mean what is expiring that quickly that you need to go back i mean maybe you're supposed to buy fresh fruit you know they always say grocery store you're not supposed to go to the middle, stay on the outside. If you're ever eating healthy, if you're supposed to eat healthy, stay on the outside. Don't go in the middle. What does that mean?

Outside of the store. The way the store is laid out. Outside of the tomatoes or something. No, the way it's laid out, if you want to do proper shopping healthy, just do the outside. Don't go to the middle.

But they make it so you can't. It's deliberate. No. I mean, the Publix we go to here, you could make a full lap. But I'm saying they put milk, eggs, they put all the essentials in the back so that you have to walk through other parts of the store. It's like a casino. Yeah, but they're saying a casino.

Yeah. But they're saying, but just walk around. Yeah. Stay on the edge. They're doing it. I'm just saying, if you want to be healthy,

that's interesting. Does that apply everywhere? You know, you gotta, you're going to have to walk everywhere. It's like that. I'll tell you that. And you know,

if you, if you're trying to get out of, I'm sorry, it's not at the front end. Ride a scooter. I mean, no one complains. They put a donut. They do. They have donuts in the back corner and I don't ever go, out of i'm sorry it's not at the front inch ride a scooter i mean no one complains they put uh

they do they have donuts in the back corner and i don't ever go why don't they put their donuts in the bag walk right back there and grab them i'm excited about it i you know but you know like they're gonna get you i get it you can't get i can't get through all that stuff either get through i buy i'll eat donuts you know whatever donuts they have there right by the milk i don't even care for i forget milk where do you go where's your publics what about you uh kroger yeah i'm kroger we just don't have a i've do there's a kroger here too we we do but we did kroger uh piggly wiggly when i was a kid then kroger mega market we used to be i think they're closed uh it's a kroger now you ever done uh you ever done a coin star uh no have you yeah oh yeah you know those things in the oh yeah i have done it

yeah that's fine yeah that's fun uh i what's the other one aldi yeah i used to always think it was zaldi with a z because their logo i thought was a z in front of the a so i would always be like oh there's zaldi and then it's called aldi with an a and i still think that i also think when you go to the uh airport you know it's international is what the international nashville airport yeah i always read it as until so i always think when i drive there until i get there there's the yeah until right here turn right here until now or what i don't even know why but i it's always reads in my hips like there's aldi i don't know why yeah you think that you thought that was a well not that one changed it. That's the new store logo because it was a huge problem.

And then the one at the bottom, we see the – Oh, okay. This? Yeah. Yeah. You thought that was a Z. I mean, I'm glancing, dude. I'm not – Okay.

I don't study it. All right. I used to think Disney was Gizney. You ever see that D? You know, the Disney – Am I pulling that up so I don't look totally like an idiot no let him look like it he that doesn't make sense at all yeah i'm talking about it looks a little bit like a g if you didn't know if you had never heard the word disney before and you saw that logo you'd be like oh what is what's gizney all about how i know but you i feel

like look at that dude that is not even a that that's not a D. I don't know. That's a G. I think it's a D. But where are you, even like, it was the first time I heard Disney. I don't, like, how do you remember the first time Disney wasn't in your life, just around, that you just know it's Disney?

It was around, but I'm saying, I've always thought that that logo, it looks like it. I feel like you get presented like something that's like, we're going to introduce you. It's an amusement park. It's kind of a big thing. And like your parents go, I want you to see this first time.

We've never talked about it. But you're eight years old, and I want you to know about it. And then they lay out. And you go, Disney? And they go, no, it's Disney, actually. That's how Disney was introduced to you. It's not just everyday life. You're the only kid who could already read before they heard about disney look it's just a no but it's so far the opposite it's

just something that's a part of your life that you just you don't think about it that much i mean i don't know you thought that was a backwards g like i thought that was a backwards chick-fil-a and i and growing up whenever we didn't have disney channel in my house but i remember we'd go to my grandparents house we had a disney channel and all the disney stars would draw out that logo and the commercials they draw it out and i always thought it looked like a g i was trying i was trying to back up your zaldi point dude zaldi turned on me real quick they're both dumb well no zaldi makes sense and then gizdy look all that zoldy's a reasonable thing mine's not a mainstream none's not mine's not just in the zeitgeist right is that the yeah oh boy all right pandemic shopping is ushered in wider aisles, new methods of sanitation. It's about time.

Less crowded. I like that. Yeah. You like that? Yeah. You like the arrows? Man, I won't go. Even before pandemic, you just see an aisle and you just see,

just like it's just in the middle is all clogged up. I mean, people do not think about personal space. And they don't. I mean, you see people, they are like cattle just bumping into each other. And you ever hit someone else's cart and you're like, oh, sorry. It's embarrassing. Do you have a strategy? Shopping strategy? No.

Zero strategy. You don't have a list? Coupons? I've never been in a situation where I needed a strategy to shop. It's never been. I feel like I've never been the main shopper. I like to take my time in there. I know a lot of guys are in a rush.

It's food, man. I enjoy walking around a grocery store. You're going to find some stuff you hadn't thought about. You're going to be glad you got it. I like to take my time. You're a brand name guy? For some stuff, I want the brand name you look at prices not as much as i probably should yeah i mean i'll notice if something's ridiculous

then i won't get it but if it's three dollars versus four dollars and i don't know i never liked not name brand like yeah yeah Yeah. I like everything. Cereal, I want to be. See, cereal, I like some of the non-name brand. I like the big bags. Coco Dino Bites. That's my favorite cereal. I like the names.

Oh, yeah. And we used to always get the off-brand sodas, the Cokes growing up. Yeah, I mean, there's RC. I mean, RC's the main diet dr thunder we if there's nothing more disappointing than uh if someone to me if someone you go to someone's house and they're like you want some soda and they and they have like k they want it's just k it's got a circle or something and you're like oh you know what that's and it's brutal K. Uh-huh. It's got a circle or something, and you're like, you know what? And it's brutal.

RC, we used to drink RC. Oh, yeah. My dad drinks Big Red. I don't know if anybody knows. Do you know what Big Red is? No. It's in Kentucky, and he loves it.

And so when we used to, if we could ever find it, Big Red, we would get it. You could get it to them as a gift. I mean, it wasn't easy to find. It's a little bit easier now.

They had it, I saw it at a restaurant, like on a tap somewhere. Like, you know, in the. It's like cheer wine, that kind of stuff.

Yeah. I don't know, it's like cheer. It's, I mean, it's, you know, I mean,

it's like orange, whatever. You know, if you get orange drink at the. Yeah. Carbonated, you know, it's like orange, whatever. You know, if you get orange drink at the carbonated, you know, what's the orange drink? Like Fanta? Yeah, like Fanta. It's like Fanta.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. You ever put peanuts in your coat? No. Did y'all do that? No.

No. You ever know anybody that did? Part of that. I might. Did you do it? Maybe I do know someone that did it if peanuts are around you put them in your coat man yeah do you not know that was a no and then you do it if you you drop the peanuts in like if you if you haven't is it as is it make

it special or does it is it like if you're having pizza and you get a Coke and you dump some peanuts in? Do you know what I mean? Is it like its own thing? It's a very common thing in the South that people will put peanuts in their Coke. I don't think it's very common. I think it's pretty common, but I think it's an older generation thing. A guy I used to work with, Mr. Bilbrey, he used to always do it. He told me about it.

Now, if peanuts are around and I have a Coke, I put them in. And you drink it? Yeah. You eat the peanuts or they dissolve? You can eat them at the end if you want. It just gives the Coke a little bit of a different flavor. It gives it a little bit of a salty flavor. Yeah.

It's more of a ritualistic, you know, just. Yeah. I saw some people pour. I remember once going to the movies with someone, and they poured M&Ms in their popcorn. And like they just opened it and they had their popcorn, you know, in a bag and they just dumped all the M&Ms in it. And they would just eat that. Interesting. And I've never seen that.

I'm not a big mixer. They'd melt. All right. It's hot popcorn. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, it's not that, you know. I mean, it's not that. I'm not a big mixer.

I'm not a big mixer either. I like everything kind of how it is. I don't eat, you know. Do you cut your candy bars with a fork? No. My strategy when I eat food, I go after what I don't, my least favorite on the plate. I start with that, get it out of the way and then end with the

that's a good strategy yeah just in general yeah i get all right my wife's making me these i'll eat this nonsense and then get to the thick of it there's another nugget give it to the real reason we're there there's a nugget all right it to the real reason we're there. There's a nugget. Alright, it's a good nugget. Let's see here. Walmart is testing a new system that replaces traditional checkout lines with an open plaza ringed by

34 terminals. Shoppers can scan their purchases or wave down an employee, which is what I would do, to do the scanning for them. Kroger intends to double down on customer choice, offering an array of options including self-checkout stations and an app that allows customers to scan and pay as they go, as well as traditional cashiers.

A year ago, 81% of shoppers surveyed by Gallup said they never turned to the internet for groceries. Online shopping was around 3% for all grocery sales, or about $1.2 billion, according to a survey. But in June of this year, online grocery sales in the U.S. had hit $7.2 billion. In a challenge to Amazon Prime, Walmart just announced a new $98 a year subscription service that offers same-day delivery.

Curbside pickup has also exploded. Stores are converting parking lots to better handle traffic from shoppers who drive by to pick up orders. Companies including Kroger and Whole Foods are opening what have become known as dark stores designed solely for picking up or delivering orders placed online. Yeah, my wife does all hello fresh so they order you know they just send you the meal but you cook it yeah uh but yeah i mean i think yeah people are yeah they're

not going to go in they're not going to go in these stores which i might describe this in the future do you guys ever yeah it does kind, it does. Have you ever done pickup? Like where you order and they bring it out to your car? I've had delivery. Groceries delivered. Shipped. Before, yeah. She does shipped a lot.

Yeah. Shipped. Oh, that's the name of the... It's a service. So yeah, so this is... Let's just have... Amazon is testing its first fresh grocery store where customers would shop by signing into their Amazon app and placing their items in a dash cart, which uses camera sensors and a scale to automatically detect and log items on a digital display behind the handle. The technology makes it possible for shoppers to leave the store without going through a traditional checkout line.

Shoppers who use the dash carts will scan a QR code in their Amazon app to log into the cart before they begin. The system will automatically charge them using the stored cart in their Amazon account when they exit through a special dash cart lane. They'll then get a receipt via email after they leave. So you're actually looking at this stuff? What do you mean? I don't understand what this is

so this is a commercial or this well it just kind of shows it a little bit um yeah you basically just once you take it off the shelf and put in your cart it'll sense it and oh and then it kind of shows you up 38 65 shopping cart just keeps track yeah so you're not uh yeah so you're so you're not uh you're you're not checking out yeah you just get it and then you walk right out of the store yeah technology's pretty amazing yeah and if you put it back on the shelf it somehow senses that it said and it'll take it off wow it's pretty cool i mean yeah i mean there are people uh yeah they're not gonna come in i mean they're not gonna be going we're not gonna be talking to anybody i know that's good did i tell you about the robot that was

working at walmart in arkansas no i was in rogers arkansas which is right next to Bentonville, which is where Walmart is headquartered. So they use all the surrounding Walmarts to test all of their new stuff. So every time you go into their Walmart, they got something new. They had these robots patrolling the aisles in Walmart. It had a name tag and it was big and it would patrol the aisles, cleaning the floor, taking inventory in the aisles, creepy stuff. Yeah. But kind of cool. Kind of cool.

You posted a video of that, didn't you? Yeah. I took a video of it cause I was blown away and everyone else is just walking around like this is normal. You got a robot employees walking up and down the aisles. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah.

And then, and then can you ask him for help? I don't know. I stayed away from it from it but maybe maybe you can talk to him it looked like it was doing its own thing like it was busy it had a purpose leave it alone yeah i'm not going near that yeah what a name tag on it like it's friendly yeah well this amazon store said that they have alexis where is there blood on the name tag like he took it that robot killed somebody and then that's you know you should just go up to the robot and go yeah well where is jack i don't believe your name is jack where is jack and then see the robot have to back you know be like i am jack and then you're going i don't believe believe it. And then you go find Jack.

Yeah, man. That's crazy. Yeah. Wild stuff. You want to get some of these crime? Yeah. Yeah. We've been,

yeah, we got to speed it up. There's a couple. Which one? You got a preference? The crime stories? I think the second one's probably better. Okay.

All right. So apparently in grocery stores, fake slip and falls is like a big deal. People. Yeah. I remember seeing them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like people do it. They have to, grocery stores have to charge you more because they have to have insurance

for it. There's a woman right there. They've kind of stopped because surveillance cameras now. She's doing it just out in the open. I know. There's people around. She's kind of pretending like okay.

Here we go. I mean, she wasn't even trying to look look like it was authentic let me see if I can pull up this other one I mean you gotta be getting caught I feel like people are catching them so much now that

they're really going after it there's so many cameras like it's not even worth trying it anymore let me get ahead here so these two women they're shopping together and now

she's getting ready I mean you're literally feeling around on the ground she doesn't even try she just lies down yeah well you might as well she's getting ready. I mean, you're literally feeling around on the ground. And she doesn't even try. She just lies down. Yeah. Well, you might as well.

Yeah. Now her friend's going to get help. Yeah. Here they come running to help her. Oh, the fire department. Here comes the paramedics. Yeah. And they carry her away. This is a woman shopping.

Like, not even a big deal. Yeah. This woman is scum. Yeah. So that's from a local news investigation. So that's just a woman shopping, not even a big deal. Yeah. This woman is scum. Yeah, so that's from a local news investigation. I got to be fired up, the actual paramedics. I don't like tipping at that yoga pose. I understand it, dude. That's a 72-year-old woman.

Yeah, I mean, to do it with her friends, I mean, that's, you know, I don't know. There's a disconnect, I think, with those people. They think it's the store. They think, oh, it's just who cares. It's, you know, it's all make-believe. They're rich. It's a big, you know, so they just don't. I don't think they feel an ounce of care.

Yeah. This story said that even when they catch people sometimes, like that first movie we watched, sometimes they'll still pay out before they go through all the legal fees. Just to a very... Because it could be, give us 20 grand, and they're like, whatever. Yeah. That's easier than...

I mean, I think people could be doing it for that reason. They're doing it just to know... I mean, too, not saying that... I'd imagine these people, if you're doing something like that, it's not like you have money. Like, what are you going to win? You know, if they beat you in a court, you're not going to get money from these people. Like the grocery store is not. So, yeah, you're just having to fight off, you know, so why not just be like they want five grand. Yeah.

Okay. Then they get it do y'all think you could fall convincingly at a store you don't think i don't think i could either uh you could do it you'd have to really commit to it i mean you'd have to be willing to go down i like to think i could do better than that first woman. I think that those people have done it before and they just know there's no difference of truly falling. I mean, I guess they don't think about the cameras. I actually thought that first woman, that wasn't too bad. I think I would do worse than that. She did good. She shouldn't have felt it around.

That's what I'm saying. The actual fall was not bad, but testing the ground first, I mean, that was all very obvious. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She would have done good. Yeah.

Oh, sorry. This is the next story. You want to move on to this? Sure. Yeah. All right. Amy Gaudette Rabelais, hope I said that right, had just dropped her kids off at school and decided to swing by Trader Joe's

in Baton Rouge, Louisiana shortly after it opened. After five minutes, a fellow shopper asked, excuse me, but is that your pet snake? It wasn't. Unbeknownst to Rabelais, a small snake had called itself inside her cart, hitching a ride as she shopped for groceries. I screamed it through my purse and generally created a scene, Rabelais said. Later, the guy found me and said he had watched me walk around with the snake for about five minutes, and he just assumed it was my pet because I was so calm. Can you imagine? I mean,

just, I mean, you know, it would take a lot to get over that. With just knowing, you're like, I was walking around for five minutes, like, you just grabbed it, and then, because you would have just set something in, and then walking around for five minutes. You just grabbed it. Because you would have just set something in and then accident. Oh, man.

I mean, just picturing it there. I mean, that lady will never grab a grocery cart the same way. Why do you always get the one with the squeaky wheel? Do you? I wish I had the squeaky wheel. This has happened a few times when I looked this up. There was another case where it's similar case. They were in the produce and somehow a snake had gotten in with, and they like loaded some produce and the little girl said, mommy,

there's a snake in our cart. No, really? So it happened a few times. Wow. Well, I get with the produce. Yeah, I guess, you know, you bring all that food in. All the fruits and vegetables and they're coming from places with snakes, snake climbs in.

Yeah. But how did it get to the cart? That one, I'd imagine, uh, had to come in, I mean, from outside and then just, you know, I bet that's a, I bet that's a comfortable spot for a snake, a shopping cart. Yeah. You know, they can bend through all the stuff. They feel very secure. They can feel like probably I can relax.

I'm not hanging half on a tree limb. You know, like you feel good going in and out of the slots. That probably does feel good. Animals in stores in general i was surprised how many just last month there was a bear that went to a grocery store in lake tahoe and like just roamed around got a bag of chips feels in the grocery store it's kind of cold the floor is cold animals love cold floors can you imagine having to hunt for food your whole life and then you happen upon a grocery store and you're like what you're probably this is heaven this is what this is

yeah you know in uh new york bodegas and they have cats and just cats are just they lay on the food yeah i wanted to ask you is it what's grocery shopping like in new york and la it was you would go to LA, you know, where was, was it New York? New York to, New York was the first

time you ever went to Target and you would, they, you'd put your cart in a, like, like an escalator and you push it in

and it takes it to the next floor. And so you just, you would, was it, I think there might be in LA too. I think LA had it, but New York had it.

And so you'd be, you'd have, you're at a Target or a grocery store and they have another floor cause they have to. And then you, you push your thing and then you ride an escalator and it, and the car is just next to you. That was the first time I ever saw that. That was like the craziest thing ever. I was like, what on earth? I've never seen that.

Never even thought my, like thought you could ever, I was like, what on earth? I've never seen that. Never even thought you could ever. Why would it ever do that? Yeah. And it was just normal for everybody out there. You'd go to bodegas and you'd just buy. It's like going to 7-Eleven, but it's just a local run bodega. I mean, I think people in New York, they eat out a lot. It's a lot of you can grab fruit you you mean people are buying pretty fresh stuff but you would just

go in i mean i don't ever remember uh do they have grocery stores like big chains yeah yeah yeah uh yeah i forget what they're called stop and shop and uh yeah it's a real it's like a kroger you know and so you could go in there but you just go to bodegas and buy stuff they had cats called Stop and Shop. And yeah, it's a real, it's like a Kroger, you know? And so you could go in there, but you just go to bodegas and buy stuff. They had cats. I mean, I just remember cats being in there. To go in bodegas and just a cat, like every one of them.

And they'd jump up on the things around. Lay on your bag of dinos that you want. I mean, just, it smelled like cat pee in there. I mean, it wasn't, and it It just is what it is, man. No one. It's just cats. Cat in your grocery store. Let me ask you all this.

If you had never seen a shopping cart before and you were told, hey, we're a store. We need something people can use to put all the... You had to design a shopping cart from scratch you think you'd come up with that with what they came i mean it's just a basket on wheels i think i would come i would think i'd come up i'm not saying i'd come up with that but i would come up with you don't think that there are any improvements to be made on what we now

all think of i don't think i don't think i would have thought of the little flip thing up front for the kids uh is that what that's for i think i think plastic would be i think not as i just learned so if it doesn't hit you know so you can't walk up on someone and like you hit their back of their feet you know how about all four wheels being swivel wheels instead of just the front two i think that can get out of control. You think so? I think so. And then, uh,

yeah, I mean the shopping cart could, could do some, uh, I mean, we just, we just accept that that's what a shopping cart is. I think we're missing out on some,

we can do more. Yeah. Like what? Well, they're making them smaller now where it's two levels. Some of them are two levels. That's right. They have the ones of the kids that you, it's like a race car and they sit in it,

which is fun when you have a kid to go. You're like, I don't even ride it. And they get to drive it. Yeah. I always stood on the front. My mom would get on it. I was always, I loved standing on the front of it. And you ride it.

Yeah. You ever rode one of the little little horses out front i mean as a kid yeah you never do you never rode no i did i was all about it i'm just yeah those still exist your parents told you like i was going to gisneyland and that was you going to and they take you to piggly wiggly and they go go, this is Disneyland. You're like, whoa, I get to ride all the rides? And you ride the thing outside. And where did you guys go today? Amusement Park?

Took all the sights in? At Zaldi's. At Zaldi's? Went up. Zaldi's didn't have horses. Zaldi's is a place that is, it's for your dinos. You're lucky to find some dinos in there they even have the ones below the dinos dinos is too mainstream and zaldi's right zaldi's is about just a guy

that's like i have some cereal i just made i'd like to sell it and zaldi's like we'd love to have it yeah i i thought i'd found this unbelievable story to use your word. This guy got trapped and he was in the bathroom. And when he came out, they'd locked up the store and he got panicked and nervous and he ate $8,000 worth of food and drinks. And I'm like, this is the greatest story. I mean, I'm so excited. I'm putting it in, typing it. And I was like, God god it almost seems too good to be true and i did start doing some research on it it was a it was a made-up story oh oh really it was like uh somebody i mean somebody said i was just like why is it i haven't heard about this it was in west tennessee but none of the local news had done a story on it and apparently it was made up that'd been great that is i mean why if i got yeah if you got locked in we didn't get out on this

but if you got locked into a grocery store I mean I would you know you know what my favorite food is my favorite grocery store thing toaster Tostinos pizza

I love Tostinos I love making it that's where you'd start I mean I'm just saying I just made me think of it no the oh Tostinos not Tostinos, not Totinos.

Okay. Tostinos. Yeah. It's almost my favorite pizza. I love it, dude. Wow. I love it. I love it so much.

There's no oven at a grocery store, though. Yeah. It's an employee microwave. I'm just saying. That just made me think of that. So there's a Totinos and a Tostinos? Yeah, it's different. I guess.

What is it? Totinos pizza rolls are the little pockets. Yeah, I don't know. and a tostino's yeah it's different i guess what is it totino's that's why i'm getting out here are the yeah the little yeah pockets uh yeah i don't know uh and then uh yeah i would i would go donuts probably go get some donuts where you'd start yeah if you're locked in a car store at night no i would go off yeah i would i'd go to the bakery i guess you've thought about this yeah i'd start right away i'd start yeah i'd start at the front of the store and i work i wouldn't go around the edges i would cut right through the middle when they go we're sorry we locked you in you go thank you i'd be like no i'm sorry that i got locked in they would think you did it on purpose

do you think they would notice that a man was locked in there dude they would think a pack of men so how'd you get your friends in during the night why didn't you just get out when your friends came cause I was having fun cause it was a good time

high five them on the way out bye folks as the sliding doors open Brian walks in and goes hello folks how did that door magically open that man alright

grocery stores we did it that was it, right? Yeah, I think so. There you go. All right. Thank you, guys. Let us know what you think.

This is Brian reading it. Brian ran the show that time. That's right. How did it feel? Felt good. Yeah. Felt good. As people drove off the road as it was.

Since the pandemic, the need to avoid infection has taught people how to get by on fever. At least I'm bringing some excitement. See, if you could read like that, you could have kept reading. I'm trying to bring some fun to it. Get some words you don't know. People have spoken. Yeah, they have. Amazon is testing its first fresh grocery store where customers would shop by signing into their Amazon app.

I am a stenographer. Yeah. Grocery stores will become more of a pickup and delivery. You're like in Seinfeld, the rabbi. See the folks at the lane. Lane always takes that rabbi. the folks at the you know the lane

lane oh yeah 30 minute delivery times will be will become commonplace with groceries even possible delivered by drone

uh guys do you would you take a grocery store by drone and then uh maybe we would maybe we would no I think you did

you killed it man yeah that was great thank you you know congratulations thank you uh it's the first step to me being off the vodka this is how it goes No, I think you did. You killed it, man. Yeah, that was great. Thank you. Congratulations. Thank you. It's the first step to me being off the podcast. This is how it goes. All right.

Guys, we love you. Thanks again. You're all rating, you're all your stuff. Leave your comments. We sent how to do those again, which was Twitter, YouTube. Instagram. And then nateland at nate Nate Bargetti.com. If you're old school and if you want to mail a letter,

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But thank you guys. Honestly, we true. We love you. And we can't thank you enough for listening and we'll see you next week. Bye. and we'll see you next week. Bye.

Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation's consulting and partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.