The Nateland Podcast - 131: #131 Art
Episode Date: January 11, 2023This week the guys are discussing art so of course they discuss some of history's most important artists like the courtroom artist who sketched Tom Brady and bad police sketch artists. They also debat...e whether standup comedy is an artform and the proper pronunciation of difficult names like Brian. Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - Nateland@NateBargatze.com
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and follow the label. Hello, folks, and hey, bear. Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast.
I'm Nate Bargetzi, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay.
Welcome, everybody.
We have pre-recorded this, just so you know.
Just a heads up.
This is, it'll say, it could say it on the, I mean, we don't have to.
You know when it says a prerecorded?
You see that sometimes on – it can be very confusing.
You know, recorded earlier.
Especially during – yeah, during –
The Olympics or something?
Yeah.
It's – yeah, but when you're watching something and you don't know,
you know, and you're like, what?
And nowadays, if you watch something that's not uh i mean there are
we're not talking about topical things so our i mean sometimes we are but like it's ours is like
pete you can go back and listen to this it's not like it's uh the news or something but if you
sometimes if you watch something and it's like if it's new stuff i mean if it's not the day of
you're like it doesn't matter right it's that's how fast everything changes, if it's not the day of, you're like, it doesn't matter. Right.
That's how fast everything changes is that it's just a waste of time.
Mm-hmm.
You know?
That's why I don't read about history.
It's just going to— That's exactly right.
It's already passed.
YouTube is like that too now.
If I'm watching YouTube stuff and it's like, this was out six months ago. I'm like, ugh, who has the time?
Yeah.
Give me something today.
I need to know what happened today.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So here we are living it up.
Yeah.
We know we didn't do anything.
We have nothing.
Whatever we were.
Titans won their game.
They're going to the playoffs.
Titans are going to the playoffs.
Very exciting.
We'll see.
Josh Dobbs
rocket scientist
yeah
they love saying that
don't they
Tennessee gets one
real student athlete
and they just
beat it into the ground
it's a big one
yeah I know
it's pretty
I mean it's pretty impressive
but it's just like
Tennessee
when have you ever
cared about academics
yeah yeah
and then they get one player
who takes an engineering class and they won't shut up.
No, rocket scientists. I feel like
a lot of rocket scientists, dude, they really work on
rockets. Well, he's been playing football.
I know, but is it like, if you're a rocket
scientist, you're like, would you be
like, I've never dealt with rockets?
What really makes them so great?
Why do we think they're the smartest of the smart?
Yeah, it does.
Because we're most impressed by does like we because we're
mostly most impressed by rockets yeah we're like oh it's not rocket science it's rocket scientists
and brain surgeons yeah yeah those are the two right that we think are the cream of the crop
yeah in a rocket what is a rocket like a space shuttle it's like a firecracker space shuttle
is attached to the rocket to the rocket yes so the rocket is what
yeah propels the shuttle into space yeah so why yeah you would be like so the rocket so you're
good at making something that just falls to the earth and blows up because the rocket just kind of
we move on right it goes and then it's gone uh-huh and why wouldn't if someone was like
well i'm a shuttle scientist,
and you're like, get out of here, dude.
I need to talk to a rocket scientist.
That should be the one that we should.
You go up to one of these guys, you're like, hey,
I got something on my leg.
Do you mind taking a look at it?
He's like, well, I'm a shuttle scientist.
You're like, well, I mean, I could go ask a guy, any random person,
because I would imagine you'd go to them like a doctor.
Just think of the amount of shuttle scientist quarterbacks
we might have had all this time.
And we don't talk about it.
Not even worth mentioning.
Yeah.
I wonder if they get mad.
The shuttle science person is like, he goes, I'm a shuttle scientist.
We're saying this so much, I'm going to start to think it's a real thing.
It is a real thing.
Being a shuttle scientist.
I'm a shuttle scientist. And the guy's like, well, I'm going to start to think it's a real thing. It is a real thing. Being a shuttle scientist. I'm a shuttle scientist.
And the guy's like, well, I'm a rocket.
Rocket scientist walks in with his collar up.
There's different wings of the building.
They don't even interact.
Oh, I think rocket scientists, I mean, I think they park wherever they want to park.
They're in the grass.
They don't do, you know, whatever.
And the shuttle scientist has to do his thing.
Has to take the shuttle.
Very frustrated to go like, we...
Yeah.
He has to park very far away.
Yeah.
Has to literally take a shuttle.
And then he goes...
And maybe it's because if you go, I'm a shuttle scientist, and they go, well, what kind of shuttle?
Like, are we at the airport?
You're an airport shuttle scientist?
You're like, I guess we all are, you know?
But a rocket scientist is like, I'm making rockets, dude.
And how many rockets are we?
What else is outside of that rocket?
What's another rocket?
Bottle rocket.
Bottle rocket.
Yeah, yeah, but that's not.
There's also weaponry, that kind of stuff.
Elon Musk is now making reusable rockets.
Yeah, they'll go up and then they land back down.
On a platform.
But they still put it out in the water
in case they miss.
And you know,
maybe it's the missile part
that's given the rocket scientists
the esteem or whatever
because it's like,
we'll kill you.
You know what I mean?
I make rockets,
so you say I'm the smartest
or I'll blow you up.
Yeah, what's a shuttle scientist
going to do?
Take you on an adventure?
Exactly.
You always say missiles got fired.
You don't hear the word rocket used a lot.
And like when you hear the news, they don't go,
a couple of rockets were fired.
It's always like missiles.
I think you hear that a little bit.
Rockets fired.
Missile seems more dangerous than a rocket to me.
You see a rocket coming, you can just move.
Yeah.
Houston rockets. Yeah. Houston rockets.
Yeah.
Kind of poke fun at it.
Rocket's a good name.
And we don't even have shuttles anymore, not space shuttles.
What do we have?
Well, we don't have anything.
I mean, if we wanted to go to the moon right now, we'd have to...
We lost the technology.
We still have technology.
They say they lost it.
Well, we know how to do it, but we would need to build... It's like riding a technology. They say they lost it. Well, we know how to do it, but we would need to build it.
It's like riding a bike.
They say they lost it.
Interviews, the guys will go,
this one guy goes, I'd go to the moon in a nanosecond,
but we've lost the technology.
What does that mean?
I think it just means we don't feel it anymore.
Yeah.
Because I just don't.
We haven't forgotten the technology.
We didn't get it.
It wasn't like a shredder
but aren't they
going to space a lot
they are
but to go to the moon
you would need
a special type of capsule
that we don't
have right now
just because we haven't
built one since the 70s
so how are they
getting to space
if we go to space
why don't you go like
why don't you just
go hop on over
to the moon
like it's
you know you figure you're up there.
We hitch a ride.
Might as well take a stop.
While I'm in the neighborhood.
Well, I guess Elon Musk, again, I think SpaceX took somebody up to the ISIS, to the space station.
But as far as a space shuttle, we're not flying those right now.
Yeah, it's a tough name not flying those right now. Yeah.
It's a tough name for that thing, ISIS.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
I wonder which one was first.
Yeah, I guess it's not ISIS.
It's International Space Station, so it's ISS.
Oh.
They call it ISIS though, right?
Well, I just did.
It just is.
Is.
I think they call it ISIS.
Maybe they do.
Yeah.
Isis used to be just a woman's name.
Really?
Yeah.
Aren't women just named Isis?
It was a goddess.
Oh.
Mythological goddess, Isis, and Osiris.
They were married.
Yeah.
Since 2014, the name Isis has decreased significantly in the United States.
Yeah.
I imagine so.
Yeah.
Yeah, it looks like ISIS Gomez was a Brazilian model.
ISIS King, that's a tough one.
ISIS King.
That's like, you know, you're like, all right.
How about this?
Isaac Pogson, British astronomer and meteorologist.
Isis Pogson.
Boy, Isis Valverdary there.
She's got to stick with that for a while now.
She's born in 87.
Old.
It's tough.
Yeah, she's old.
When were you born?
91.
Oh.
Yeah. All right. born? 91. Oh. Yeah.
I was working in 87.
Did you?
I was in high school.
Yeah.
Summer job.
But am I right, Aaron?
What was your summer job?
What did you do?
I worked at a camp store at Cedars-Eleven State Park.
Okay.
I think I've shared that story.
Yeah.
I love that.
Just people buying camp stuff
well like no i sold like supplies like candy and food i don't think most people think candy first
when they say supplies you know get your supplies i saw camden skittles i was trying to talk to
your like to connect with you yeah equipment you know yeah skittles but no it was like charcoal
yeah it wasn't like equipment it was like food and yeah stuff like that okay you worked at a
concession stand yeah i guess that's true yeah a burger king for the forest yeah
a burger king for the forest yeah but am i right that we could not go to the moon right now in the United States?
Yes.
If we wanted to?
Well, I believe in the American spirit.
I think we'd figure it out.
We're going not because it's easy, but because it's hard.
That's right.
I think if you're up there, you just whip on over there.
You're in the neighborhood.
We got us this far.
And then you're just floating around up there
that's what i would think imagine the moon the moon's like you came all the way to space and
didn't even visit me yeah the moon's pretty far away man well i think several days journey i think
they're about to destroy the international space moon oh oh really i think so i just don't need it
i think they're done with it and it's so expensive.
Well, they'll just leave it.
Jag is up.
What's so expensive about it?
I don't know.
I just read something about people want to put it in a museum, but instead they're just
going to destroy it and not put it anywhere.
Oh, because it's too expensive to get it?
Out of all the money they spend on stuff, it's funny to be like where they draw the
line.
Yeah.
I mean, it costs so much and
then they go yeah yeah we've had it up here all these years but just yeah we've been spending all
that money but and then with you know just about climate change and you're like well then you're
just gonna blow the thing up in this space you're like out of all the yeah i like that they they
draw the line you know they have weird
you know
it's a lot to get it down
I think it's hard work
it probably is just like
it's a nightmare
to get that thing down
yeah
maybe it wouldn't survive
maybe it would like
burn up
yeah
I wonder if it was built
to come back down
or maybe this
this will just
it's a one way ticket
you think it's always
in a different spot
you gotta get up there
and you're like where is this thing yeah it's orbiting around the earth yeah it's a one-way ticket you think it's always in a different spot you got to get up there and you're like where is this thing it is yeah it's orbiting around the earth yeah so it's like a lot
yeah so i mean you think the ever you go up and you're like you get looking at your apple maps
and you're like where is it he goes do you get off where'd you get off connecticut
do you go the connecticut route i guess this thing is
i guess just wait it'll come right you gotta wait it'll be back yeah i'll be back yeah i guess you
just wait come back around yeah is that what they do i think i mean i don't know i don't know if
this has ever happened but in theory it'll come back around you just go up and sit and wait
but you'd have to you'll be in orbit too well you see you can. But you'd have to, you'll be in orbit too.
So you can't sit.
You'd have to go the other,
actively go the other way to stay in place.
And that probably is hard because you're going against.
It's a lot.
Yeah.
Just sitting on there.
Not moving.
Just not moving.
Just throwing in the stick shift.
Hit it. Hit goes, hit it.
Hit it, Forrest.
Just can't get it going.
Bates in there is his space store.
McDonald's, M&M's.
Popcorn.
That guy's selling supplies for the space station.
I can't believe that guy over there is selling supplies for the space station. I can't believe that guy over there is selling supplies for the space station.
Were you like out in the woods by trees?
Yeah.
Or were you at the front?
No, you had to drive back there pretty far.
What time did you have to be there?
I don't remember.
Not too early.
Nine, ten.
Oh.
Something like that.
So people camping could just come up to you at any time
yeah
wasn't on the way in
yeah
had a little TV in there
mm-hmm
what kind of stuff
would you watch
I was picturing you
like a cart girl
on a golf course
like you go and meet
people on the trail
no I had a window
I slide that window open
oh that's cool
you were in a drive-thru
what
you were
you sold food
yeah candy and food did you run a
grill there's no supplies maybe you had some matches or something yeah supplies maybe in the
you were a gas station i guess i didn't you worked at a gas station it was a shell a convenience
store yeah that's so much different than how it was presented at first was they goes ah would you
sell some park rangers park rangers supplies you go what'd you do i can't than how it was presented at first. They go, ah, would you sell supplies? I was a park ranger.
Park ranger, supplies.
What'd you do?
Ah, candy.
I mean, it was a convenience store.
Yeah.
But in my mind, supplies are like, ah, I forgot my toothbrush or something like that.
Right, right, right.
I could hook you up.
Toiletries.
Yeah.
Toiletries, yeah.
Convenience.
Like you're the thing at the airport.
Yeah.
I'm like the little section down in the hotel lobby.
Right. Yes, yes. That's me yes yeah yeah hot pocket and deodorant yeah yeah yeah okay okay go ahead and read that one all right hey
boom uh all right we're gonna start with some of you guys' comments.
Jeremy and Ethan Wrightbowl.
Bowl.
Wrightbowl.
Jeremy and Ethan Wrightbowl.
Thanks for the great podcast.
This last week, my son and I went to Yosemite National Park to backpack.
Whenever we came across other hikers, we would say,
hey, bear, and then let's go, folks.
We got the oddest looks, but it became a great laugh that my son and I bonded over.
Now, whenever we see each other, one of us starts it and the other finishes it.
Thanks for bringing fathers and sons together.
You guys are great.
I love it.
That's great.
The right bulls.
The right bulls out there.
Jeremy and Ethan.
Erica Pearson, on New Year's Eve 1999,
my aunt was convinced the world was ending.
She was a diabetic, and at 11.30 p.m. she thought,
if the world is ending, I'm going out with ice cream.
She tore down the road to the nearest McDonald's to get a large M&M McFlurry.
To her dismay, she woke January 1, 2000 with really high blood sugar.
She passed away a few years ago.
At the funeral
her son gave us all dairy queen gift cards and told us to go get an ice cream on mama
oh that's awesome that's what i want to do huh that's the saddest thing i've ever read
what are you talking about she didn't die because of that oh okay yeah years later years later okay
that would have been yeah okay uh that would have been so i don't know if i'd have read
it but so upbeat yeah yeah uh but yeah i i'm a fan of that and i like that to be you know
your parting gift yeah everybody go get a dairy queen get a large get a large blizzard yeah go large yeah why not yeah i'm sorry i just the way that
was worded to her dismay she woke up january 1st 2000 with really high blood sugar she passed away
a few years ago it just seemed like they just came like together yeah like it did. The world did end. Yeah. I was like, whoa. It caused her a 20-year complication.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then finally succumbed.
23 years later, grandma passed.
Okay.
Jennifer.
So hold on.
So if you're diabetic, you can just go off the rails and have McDonald's and you won't die from it?
Are you asking out of curiosity for you?
Whatever happened to your
diabetes diagnosis?
I'm trying to figure you out.
Maybe it won't be so bad.
Wait a second. So you're like, if someone had
diabetes in this room, could I get...
You're saying I could get McDonald's on the way home?
It's...
I guess so.
I've lost weight so i don't know
yeah it's gotta be i think i've been stress eating though lately i've been like it's just
and then i get on a bender but uh i think that's what i've been doing. Someone said, I watched a video about it,
because it's like you just get, you look for, you just, you know,
it's like a lot of stuff going on, you feel stressed out,
and then you're just like, I'm just going to eat.
Even if I'm eating yogurt, I would eat an obnoxious amount of yogurt and granola.
And then you're, you know, because you're like, it makes you feel good.
You're like, i'm too overwhelmed so i'm going to just eat this and then be thing and i watched
you know the last time i was watching about it because i was like this i need to get back into
what i was on and uh when i was when i was watching it i I watched this lady. She talked about it, and it makes sense. Like, you got to have a stopper.
So you have, like, a piece of gum or you have, you know, something.
So it's like when you're like, all right, I'm done eating,
then you chew the gum because it changes your –
and then you're kind of like – if someone's like, you want this?
You're like, ah, I already got gum.
Like, I'm kind of past it.
And so you got to have something that is a –
and you've got to just put it in there because otherwise –
Something final.
Something final because if you don't, you're going to just be like, yeah, yeah.
Because, I mean, I've laid at night and been like,
I'm going to eat a couple more things.
But I know if I did one thing, I would be like, ah, I'm done.
If I put gum in my mouth, it's like I'm sure chewing it,
I would be kind of like, I don't want anything else.
I'm fine.
A sucker might work too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anything.
Still working at the concession stand.
Yeah.
There's a couple of options for you.
Yeah.
Go buy it out of the woods.
We got lollipops.
Yeah.
couple of options for you yeah go buy it out of the woods we got lollipops yeah uh oh but i don't yeah i don't i i don't know i haven't been i'd imagine it went down jennifer
uh yep jennifer car cock here here is ski ski kachirsky kachirsky kachirsky Kacherski. Kacherski. Kacherski. Kacherski, maybe? Kacherski.
Jennifer Kacherski.
I'm a huge fan of the podcast.
You guys keep me company when I go on walks or clean my house or drive to work.
Since I'm a teacher, here's a word search I made for you guys to do.
Make copies for everyone.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Yeah, that is awesome.
A little word search nateland word search
it's put out very up to date dusty town dyslexia greatest average american horse divorce hay bear
states tennessee kid sour patch kids uh buckies yeah yeah got a little penguin down there at the bottom. Penguin?
Oh, yeah. How about it?
Yeah.
Nectarine seeds.
What does that all do?
That was dusty.
Yeah.
I talked about nectarine seeds?
Yeah, like how you like to eat them, and then people said they're poisonous.
We talked about a nectarine.
I think we misidentified it.
Oh, nectarine.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I was thinking, for some reason, I was thinking of pomegranate
when they said that. Okay. But yeah, like
the neck inside there, yeah, you can
eat all those.
Yeah, that's awesome.
You already solved one. I'm finding them, man.
I'm good at word searching. We ought to pull
Yeah, can you make some?
Make some copies? Can people do them?
Mail them out to everybody.
I've seen that. Brian will mail these out to everybody Margotty I've seen that Brian will mail
mail these out
to everybody
if you're listening
so
we'll do a live podcast
where we just do
awards
yeah
that's awesome
thank you so much
did you see
Aaron
the video
I forgot you were even here
go ahead
did you see the video
the animation
that that guy
made of the graduation ceremony?
Yeah.
Dude, I did that.
That was like the coolest thing I've ever seen.
Yeah.
That was so awesome.
Do you remember the name of it?
You haven't?
Simeon, it's like four names.
Davon Braun or something like that.
Yes.
That's Braun just trying to act like he doesn't know exactly his name.
He's kind of like something like that he goes out and he's about 42 years old his birthday is august 19th so what this guy did is they sampled all of nate saying people's names
from the comments and then used them in a in a sketch where we're you're reading off names for
a graduation ceremony it It's so good.
Did you see this, Dusty? No.
Should we play it a little bit? Yeah, yeah.
Play a little bit of it.
To present your final division graduates,
please give a warm welcome
to comedian and honorary
graduate Nate Bregazzi.
Hello, folks.
Here we go.
Patrick
Eversole.
Brody Martin.
Katie Fidelholtz.
Fidelholtz.
What would you say?
I would say Fidelholtz.
Fidelholtz.
Joe Ferreria.
I've never liked him.
Really?
Yeah.
Scott Gwynn. Matt Crone. Ferreria. I've never liked him. Really?
Scott Gwynn.
Matt Crone.
Matt Croney.
I bet it's Crone.
Daniel Rucker.
I believe I know Daniel Rucker. That guy's crazy.
Crazy.
Dusty Slay. All right.
We're having a good time.
Shannon Moyer.
Did he say it?
Yeah.
M-O-Y-E-R.
Casey Siminski.
He died a few years ago.
Lexi Eichhorn.
Eichhorn?
Eichhorn?
Eichhorn.
Eichhorn.
David John.
No one's ever seen him.
Billy B. Van Leet
he's a very bourgeois man
Borga George
well does the B stand for
Borga George
Scott Dunstan
Scott Dunstan
that's funny
yeah
can't read
it's always like
it's funny
then as you sit there
and really think about it
it's sad
you know
Austin
Hoffer
or Hofer
Hoffer
Hoffer
two F's
Hofer Hoffer that Or Hofer. Hoffer. Hoffer. Two Fs. Hofer.
Hoffer.
Oh, that's so cool, man.
That is so cool.
We watched a little bit.
Watched the whole time.
A lot of work that went into that.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The timing.
Yeah, it's so funny.
Yeah.
If you're listening, go check it.
It's on all our social media.
You can go watch it.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
That was so great.
All our Nate Land social media, not your personal social media.
Yeah.
PrideRock92, I am Aaron's age,
and it seems he has stopped trying to explain very explainable things
because he gets shot down so fast.
Explain that.
Well, why do you think he had to say he was my age?
What does it have to do with the rest of the comment?
All right, guy that can't take anything.
Maybe he's trying to relate to you.
He's like, older people always shooting down my ideas too.
Oh.
Oh, okay.
All right, my bad.
Maybe it's because Aaron's dim.
I'm guessing he was probably born in 92.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, that makes sense. So he's younger than you. Are you? Young born in 92. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
That makes sense.
So he's younger than you.
Are you?
Younger than me.
Yeah, but we're the same.
Come on.
I know, but he's doing you a favor.
I mean, this kid's got his whole life ahead of him.
He's 28 years old.
He's 30 years old.
He is?
Oh, yeah.
How old are you?
I'm 31.
Oh.
Ooh.
Yeah. You were like a baby.
I know.
You're an old man.
I know.
It's wild.
Yeah.
Maybe that's it.
Maybe he's sad that he's watching you get old in front of his eyes.
And then he realizes I'm getting older, too.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Lance Lye brought him down.
That jacket probably helps out.
But have you stopped explaining maybe i don't feel like i'm doing it well sometimes it's like people like yeah you
could google the answer to it's like well then the podcast would be five minutes yeah you know
what i mean if we just google the right answer to everything he's implying that we say such
dumb stuff that you're like i'm not even even going to try. That you don't go,
yeah,
that here,
you don't explain it to us.
You're not teaching us.
I'm not saying I'm you,
but I don't like to be
in their category.
I believe in science,
so I don't want to be
grouped in with these guys.
I'm with you, Aaron.
Okay.
The young guys.
There you go.
The two young bucks.
Yeah.
Young bucks going out.
A bunch of college eds.
That one, too,
graduated college, right?
Or you didn't graduate.
Yeah, I graduated.
Okay, you graduated.
And then you did not.
No, no.
Yeah.
Lots of indoctrination
going on in those things.
Yeah.
That's how we escaped it.
That's how we escaped it.
Y'all left the Matrix.
Yes.
Yeah.
Scott Sales
that's a good last name
I wanted to shed
this sounds like a Seinfeld name
Scott Sales
they would have
something
I wanted to shed some light on prison life
oh boy Scott
Scott
I've done about five years between jail and prison, unfortunately.
Drugs were mostly my downfall.
Nothing stabby.
That's nice.
I've been out now for two years with no trouble.
It's great to hear.
You can pretty much decide who to sell up with eventually.
Right off the bat, not so much.
But when you make some pals, it becomes an option.
Obviously, you kind of scan the perimeter and decide who and who not to talk to.
It's really not that bad.
Now, jail, on the other hand, yikes.
Wow.
That is interesting.
That's interesting, yeah.
Wait, so in prison, you get to decide who you want to be in a cell with?
Eventually.
You're like walking around going, you know what?
Would you like to be roommates?
I think you become buddies with someone.
Yeah, you ease into it.
Yeah.
Right, but then you get to just be like, hey, I want to start rooming with this guy now.
If we went to prison at the same time and they said, Nate, you have the option of Brian as your roommate or just open luck of the draw.
Can we do this?
Yeah.
Oh, we did?
We did this, as you said.
Yeah, it was funny that time and
and i'll be honest with you i think i picked you and now i would not
you gotta be asked the same questions every day like if you could be in prison i believe that one
was solitary confined or not or a low cell to yourself or a roommate this is different
the same question again uh every morning if you could fly
or if you could be invisible what would you be like oh gosh do you think there are more doors
yeah just every morning so i well this guy says jail is worse than prison yeah yeah and i think
jail is there's probably prisons like an organization once you
get in there like it's home jail yeah jail is like i think anything goes you're in there with
some crazy people free for all it could maybe be someone crazier than you think sorry let's watch
it again yeah it could be someone crazier than you think maybe oh yeah you know well you've been
to jail dusty is that true well i was only in there for seven eight hours okay it's a long time yeah and i knew you know
a person in there it's small town stuff yeah you know do you ask in a room with you well there was
four people in there counting me it was a small cell with four people in there yeah and uh i was
just focused on going and getting out of there. Yeah.
Yeah, that's why I'd imagine jail is that.
But awesome.
That's awesome, Scott.
I love that you've had no trouble.
And that's great, man.
Got a great name, Scott Sales.
I tell you, you got to pick your own person. Yeah, get in the sales.
How you doing? I'm Scott Sales.
I think you'd want to, if a guy goes by scott sales i'd be like i want to be roommates
with you you're jealous of a name because of how the sign how cool the signature probably looks
two s's you could do something cool with it two s's and then two t's yeah and then another big
s right after that you could have some fun yeah yeah ss scott sales ss yeah uh
i sometimes i like like our last name is bargetti but i sometimes like golly if your name was just
this you just never have to tell anybody anything like y'all's names are all very
you know not rememberable. You could sell through life, minding your own business.
Yeah.
I love a good one.
Dusty Slay is very memorable.
Yeah.
But it's also, I just got three syllables, the whole name.
That's nice.
Dusty Slay.
Yeah.
Very easy.
Brian Bates does two syllables.
Brian Bates.
Yeah.
Brian Bates.
You think Brian, that's three syllables.
Brian Bates.
Brian Bates. You think Brian's two syllables?'s three syllables. Brian Bates. Brian Bates.
You think Brian's two syllables?
Brian.
It's not Brian.
It's not Brian.
Brian Bates.
No.
I hear it both ways.
Brian is Brian.
Well, go over to Brian Bates.
He got some supplies over there.
Hey, Brian.
That's how I say it.
I'm trying to buy a shovel.
I got M&Ms. You can use the box, Brian. I'm trying to buy a shovel. I got M&Ms.
You can use the box, maybe.
Why does it say camp supply store if there's not a shovel?
Do you have a tent thing?
Do you have tents?
Do you sell tents here?
Now we got popcorn.
Popcorn.
Fox and the shovels.
I got popcorn.
He goes, I'd move a little bit bigger shovel.
Brian.
Brian.
Brian Bates.
I guess in effect it is
Brian Bates.
But if let's say there's some
theoretical perfect English speaker, he would say it three. Brian.ates. Yeah, Brian Bates. But if let's say there's some theoretical perfect English speaker,
he would say a three.
Brian.
Brian Bates.
Bates.
Brian Bates.
They say to tell the syllables, you put your hand under your chin,
and the amount of times your chin touches it.
Brian Bates.
Brian Bates.
Brian Bates.
Dusty Slay.
There you go.
So how many people in Lebanon are calling you Brian?
Nobody.
Yeah.
Lebanon.
Yeah.
It's Lebanon for you.
I don't even know Bates.
I don't even know how to do like plural or like the plural of Bates or possession.
How do you spell that?
Like if I were saying Brian Bates's shirt.
Do you know another E-S?
Yes, apostrophe S.
Bates, apostrophe S.
Yep.
Bates'.
Bates'.
Brian Bates'.
Brian Bates'.
I'm going to Brian Bates' house.
Brian Bates' house.
You got to go over there and go to Brian Bates' house.
Bates' house.
What does he got?
He got a bunch of shovels.
He got supplies. He got supplies.
He got supplies.
I got over there no supplies.
I said, you got toilet paper, son?
He goes, I don't have.
We don't sell toilet.
I would imagine everything was they go there and they come back and they go, where's the supplies?
And the person's got Skittles.
He goes, they don't have anything.
But everybody does buy Skittles because they're like, well, I guess I'm here And the person's got Skittles. He goes, they don't have anything. But everybody does buy Skittles because they're like,
well, I guess I'm here.
I'll take some Skittles.
Yeah, and then they're like, don't even go down there to that supply tent.
They ain't got nothing down there.
They ain't got nothing down there.
Well, I'm going to go look.
Who's over there?
Brian Bates?
I'll go over there.
Let me go check it out.
Comes back with Sour Patch Kids and popcorn.
He goes, they don't got anything.
He goes, I walked all the way down there.
Brian Bates down there.
How much was the candy?
Do you remember?
I don't.
50 cents.
That sounds about right.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Scott Studdreier.
Studdreier. Scott Studd. Stulderer.
Scott Studerer.
Stulderer.
Stulderer.
He, her?
S-T-U-H-L-D-E-R-E-H-E-R.
I bet when I spelled that, people thought I was going to stop two or three times.
And then they go, he keeps going.
Stulderer. Stulderer. And then they go, he keeps going. Stolger.
Stolger.
Got the pronouns built right in.
Yeah.
Stolger.
That's like 70.
Yeah, that's a lot.
That's a lot.
There you go.
My chin got tired.
Hey, Nate, Brian, Aaron, and Dusty.
Thanks for helping me laugh daily.
Check out this picture
of my girlfriend.
She's younger.
Does Dusty have a long list sister?
Oh, it's supposed to be a long while. Oh, I was like, well, that
doesn't make sense. Oh,
yeah. Yeah, we're going to be related. She's got the look.
Yeah. I would say yes because she's holding
a possum like a cat. Oh, yeah.
I can't even see that. Yep, and she's got
no shoes on. Oh, yeah.
But has socks on outside.
There's a good chance of that.
Those glasses look like they tent in the sun, too.
Yep.
A little transition.
It has G on it.
It stands for government.
Yeah.
But it's worn in irony.
Yes.
What's in her hair there?
I think it's a picture.
I think it's a picture frame.
Okay.
Yeah.
I think so.
That's a spider web. It looks like a spider web. That's definitely Dust. Okay. Yeah. I think so. That's a spider web.
It looks like a spider web.
That's definitely Dusty's.
Yeah.
She walked through a web before she got that picture.
You could not get me to hold a possum like that.
Nah, me either.
I do not like possums.
Nah.
They look evil.
But they're actually good for you.
I think they eat tits.
They're good to have around.
Yeah. But I don't good for you. I think they eat. They're good to have around. Yeah.
But I don't care for them.
Okay.
They're a wild looking animal.
They are good.
I love when you just pause.
I want y'all to hear what the podcast would be like without me for a little bit.
It's fun to do.
Y'all just,
you just trade,
right?
Huh?
I don't need them.
It just goes to two old men sitting on it.
That's a very old man thing.
I don't care for a popcorn.
Garden snake.
I don't like them, but we need them.
It's going to rain today.
They eat other pests. It will rain.
Scott.
We got a lot of Scots.
Three Scots in a row. Wow. Scott Bouchon. It will rain. Scott. We got a lot of Scots. Three Scots in a row.
Oh, wow.
Scott Bouchon.
Russian Bushin.
I bet it's like Russian.
Scott Bushin.
That's a good name, too.
Scott Bushin.
Yeah.
How you doing, Mr. Bushin?
Yeah.
Have you guys ever had bits or jokes come out of the topics from the podcast?
Yeah, I do. Have you guys ever had bits or jokes come out of the topics from the podcast?
Yeah, I do.
In my next special, I close on a story I told on here the day it happened,
which I won't reveal since we're so close.
But I'll try to find that clip.
Can we find that clip?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it'll be interesting to see it yeah because that that it's i'm closing
on it which is crazy i try not to like i try to keep it someone i honestly think i have from the
podcast i have that that's just a story that just happened it wasn't like a the joke came out of it
uh that one uh one other one, those two.
Maybe there's a third.
I don't know.
Is it on the next special?
Yeah.
I think it's that one, Eagle, and then that might be it.
Which is, would you be amazed?
There may be another one.
But I've been trying to be uh i want to be as little like i don't want you to listen to this
podcast and then go watch special and be like oh it's the same thing i don't think anyone would do
that they might go oh i kind of remember maybe the beginning of it yeah yeah you wouldn't it's it's
it's it doesn't come from, you know, no.
At the same time, it brings some authenticity to it.
It shows people, especially after the fact, hey, he's not making this stuff up.
This really happened.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it's two of them.
So I hope it's two of them.
I'm pretty sure it's two.
And I think this new one I'm trying to build, I don't think I have anything.
I need it.
Madison Jones.
I run cross country at Mississippi State, Mississippi State University.
I just want to thank Nate for his advice to work hard and be happy for those who reach their goals faster than you.
I took his advice and got 63rd at the SEC Cross Country Championship this year.
And with 148 people in the race, that makes me extremely average.
I now consider myself to be the greatest average runner in the SEC.
That rules.
Thank you all for some great advice.
That has helped me achieve average results.
That is very true.
He is the greatest average runner in the SEC.
Congratulations.
And you could be that and then not be happy, and then you'd still be that.
So you might as well be happy, right?
Yeah.
It's amazing.
Yeah.
It's amazing.
There he is.
It's a she.
Oh, it's a girl.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Madison Jones.
Madison Jones.
Great job.
Yeah.
She is it.
I love it.
Great job, Madison.
Madison, welcome to the club.
There you go. go greatest average runner
and if it makes you feel better i would probably don't be going doing better than that man i don't
she's a freshman i don't want madison yeah next year starts popping she's like golly i finished
second you're like all right madison yeah well let's remember where you came from right i click
you you know yes we're down here in the you're not better than like you're, you know. Yes. We're down here in the. You're not better than us.
You're not better than us.
You know, that's it.
It's real.
Our junior year, you're like, she's not even listening to the podcast.
All right, Madison.
I don't know what happened here.
All right.
Let's keep up with the Madison Jones.
It's very exciting.
We've got a few athletes to keep track of now.
We need to.
Oh, yeah.
This episode is sponsored by better help
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them out. Sometimes you can't, and you just need to talk to someone that's not in your circle or just, you know, just to
make yourself better. Like it's easier to change you than it is to change the world.
And this is a way to go do that. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you
there. Visit betterhelp.com slash nate today to get 10% off your
first month. Truly, if you are out there and you need help, I know people go through a lot of stuff
after the COVID, after everything, you feel alone, you feel this stuff. Just go honestly talk to
someone. You got to think you're making yourself a better person. You will then become a greatest
average American because the average American, I would imagine, does not talk to therapists.
So go talk to one and go get help.
And you just got to get stuff off your chest.
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All right.
Mississippi State.
Evan Courtney.
Courtney. Recently, my wife and I were on a cruise and went to the nightly comedy shows.
Where does cruise ship show rank in the career and quality of a standup comedian?
It used to rank a lot lower. I don't think it's that now. There's a lot of great comics doing cruises uh i i did them when i first started i feel like when i did them they were it was it's uh it was it was more of a joke it was they weren't
highly looked at that to do it i was very young when i did them uh but it was uh but i think now
like because people realize that they were, like, good gigs.
It's, like, it's solid work.
You're on a cruise.
You can make money.
I mean, it's not a, it's definitely not a bad thing.
These shows, like, people go to these shows.
And, like, I just did Carnival.
And Carnival, they have, I mean, they built a showroom in the back and then
i think they're trying to make it more enticing for comedians and i think they did
and so a lot of good comics go do them now i always felt like that if you were doing cruises
you also had to be like actively doing land shows too because you get on the cruise and then like
you want to do well and so you start catering your material just for the cruise ship and then like you want to do well and so you start catering your material just for the
cruise ship and then if you do that too long then you're back on land and you're like oh
these jokes are not working yeah the setting is completely different yes uh and so there's
comics that are going to do it better than most you know that they're just going to destroy but
i mean now like there's having like i think burke rusher is he doing a cruise or and then you know that they're just going to destroy but i mean now like there's having like i think burke
is he doing a cruise or and then you know practical joker's cruise i did so there's a
there's there's it's becoming a thing where people are doing these things so uh i think i don't think
it's got the stigma that it did it used to have a bad, and I don't think it does now. And now a lot of comics that do it are comics that are very good.
And so, yeah.
Somebody told me early on when you start stand-up,
you can fall into one of the four Cs, they told me.
Cruises, colleges, clubs, churches.
Oh, wow. And people make the mistake of they just fall
into one, and then they don't exist
in the other ones.
You might throw a corporate C in there, too.
Throw a corporate in there. Five C's.
Oh, dang.
You're happy about that one.
I really shook that thing
yeah
yeah that's
maybe the saying was
five C's
it might have been five C's
yeah
yeah that's true
convention centers
that's six
yeah
that's right
corporate
casinos
casinos
casinos is six
you don't want to fall
into one of the C's
casinos are its own
casinos is a whole thing too
you can get on those circuits
yeah yeah circus carnival C's. Casinos are its own. Casinos is a whole thing, too. You can get on those circuits.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Circus.
Carnival.
I mean, we might only do C places.
Yeah.
Centers, performing arts centers.
Concerts.
Concerts.
Concert hall.
Concert hall.
Come to concert hall, I think you're doing all right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You don't want to, you want to, yeah, you want to be able to do anything.
But yeah, there's a lot of comics that are really good that are doing those now.
But I definitely, it's you don't go in, I think, thinking, hoping you're going to do cruises.
It's not, you know, the end goal.
But I mean, you know, your end goal is just to do comedy,
so there really is no end goal.
Your end goal is kind of just, I just want to be doing this full time.
So if you're doing it full time, then you're.
Yeah, I mean, if you're a party or two and you're like,
and you like traveling like that, I mean, I think cruises would be awesome.
You're on the boat a lot, though.
Like, when I did it, you were, you would take it out to, like, the Bahamas, whatever.
Or you'd fly to the Bahamas, get on it, and then just go back.
So you really, like, I only got off the boat once, I think.
Wow.
You just weren't off a lot.
Yeah.
But when I did it.
Have you been doing comedy for 20 years now?
Yeah.
This month? This month. Happy anniversary. 20 years. Thank you been doing comedy for 20 years now? Yeah. This month?
This month.
Happy anniversary.
Thank you.
That's crazy, man.
This month, January.
Oh, three.
Yeah.
Thought you'd be bigger than that.
Yeah.
Took a long time.
Don't quit, dude.
Keep rolling. Keep plugging along. 20 years, it's a long time, man. It's a long time to yeah don't quit keep rolling keep plugging along 20 years it's a long time man
it's a long time to do something uh yeah still nowhere still stink so don't worry about it
everybody when you do it no matter what you do if you do it 20 years you still stink at it
uh you still feel like you can't ever make a joke.
You would hope 20 years you're like, I'll be able to rattle off whatever.
And it's still the hardest thing ever.
Trying to come up like you're like, what am I going to talk about?
Mark Ostrut.
This weekend I took several friends to dinner and drinks.
Before the end of the night, a fight broke out on the other side of the bar.
One of my friends rushed into the middle of it and loudly asked,
Any chance this is about global warming?
He wasn't involved in the fight at all, but he's now apparently kicked out of our favorite bar.
Is there any chance Nate can write us a letter explaining global warming
so we might get our friend back in the bar?
Yeah, that's crazy.
Why did he get kicked out?
What if they were fighting about global warming?
I don't know.
Maybe there's more to it.
I don't know.
What happened with the fight?
I mean, did it break up the fight?
I would think that he ran over there to say that.
Yeah.
Just to distract them.
Diffuse it with some comedy.
Yeah, diffuse it.
Yeah.
That's also a Nate joke.
Oh, okay. Yeah yeah i do comedy okay and
just getting started yeah uh yeah because the joke yeah it was uh the global war talk to your
friends and family about yeah oh yeah yeah right yes yeah any chances but i'll go yeah they should
let them back in that guy did nothing wrong yeah We don't know what that fight was about.
That's true.
What if he was just trying to find out?
Yeah.
And that would have distracted everybody.
You think, because it probably helped the fight.
Yeah.
Why would the guy, you know.
And that's a perfect time to bring up Will Warren, right in the fight.
Right back with some more details, Mark.
Yeah.
I'd like to know what really happened.
Yeah.
And then, yeah, and go back in.
Whatever this bar is, y'all should be allowed back in that's insane uh jamie harris we're gonna come back mark's like
all right hi buddy threw a bottle and you're like oh
uh jamie harrison hobbs my brother and i have the same name. He is James Jimmy, and I'm Jamie.
We're not twins.
I think my parents just gave up.
Yeah, I think Jamie's a girl.
Oh, James and Jamie.
Yeah.
Or Jamie could be a boy, too.
Yeah, I'm not sure.
I guess I'm not sure about that.
Actually, I knew a Jimmy that was a girl, but it was not James.
See, Jimmy's just as close to Jamie as James is.
Yeah, Jimmy, Jamie.
I knew these elderly women.
They were sisters.
It was Billy and Jimmy.
That's true.
I don't mind the name Jimmy for a girl.
I kind of...
Yeah.
I mean, they're kind of close, I guess.
Yeah, but they were sisters. Yeah. Oh, two women named them? Two women named Billy and like... Yeah. I mean, they're kind of close, I guess. Yeah, but they were sisters.
Yeah.
Oh, two women named them?
Two women named Billy and Jimmy.
Yeah.
I don't think I mind the name Jimmy for a girl.
I think it's got to fit.
You better hope it fits.
Yeah, I know an older woman named Jimmy.
Yeah.
Called her Miss Jimmy.
Maybe named after Jimmy the President.
Jimmy Carter.
Yes.
Why?
Maybe during that time
it was a popular name.
For a woman?
Yeah, they were like...
Maybe they were
Jimmy and Jamie Johnson fans.
Or Jimi Hendrix.
Now, did you say Jimmy
is as close to Jamie
as James is to Jamie?
Mm-hmm.
I don't understand
your logic there.
James and Jamie.
It's just one syllable
that's different.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a lot of stuff.
Just one letter off.
Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jamie.
Jamie's got an I.
It's pretty darn close.
James has got an S.
It's pretty darn close.
Jimmy, Jamie.
You disagree?
I feel like James and Jamie's.
I love that you like to challenge us on stuff
and then you don't even defend your side.
You just go, all right.
I think your side spoke for itself.
I defer the rest
of my time.
Well,
from a spelling standpoint,
it's definitely closer.
Yeah,
but we're talking
about real life, dude.
See,
that's the problem.
You live on paper.
I live with human beings.
I'm talking about
the real world out here.
He lived alone
out in the forest.
I lived alone
until I was 48.
Brian Bates. Oh, yeah. Brian Bates. I lived alone until I was 48. Brian Bates.
Oh, yeah.
Brian Bates.
Lived alone until I was 48 and got married and had a kid.
Yep.
Things are downhill after that.
I was a family, dude.
Good.
They are great.
They are great.
That rules, man.
You know when people ask how the family is?
I mean, we recorded this early, so I don't know for sure.
When people always ask you how the family is,
I don't think anybody here, they remotely care.
I think it's when somebody asks something specific,
that means something.
You know, it's almost like, how's the family?
Like, you want to just, well, it's like you care.
You're just like, everything's good. Yep. That family like you want to just i well it's like you care you're just like everything's good yeah that's all i want it's just like yeah yeah all
right and like when you ask how's the family matter of fact you're like hoping that it's just
the answer's good yeah you're not like if they're like actually everything's in shambles you're like
yeah i've said that for me yeah yeah like you say something like baby good everything's good
and you go yeah, everything's good.
Leading questions.
Yeah.
They're leading questions.
Yeah, you're just kind of like, yeah, I'm checking in on your life.
And you go, yeah, dude.
And you go, all right.
And then you can move on.
Right, right.
You're like, we don't need to.
Go ahead and tell me everything's good.
Yeah.
I do care about your family, though.
Do you?
Yeah.
Because now I don't think you do.
No, he said it the way. That's how you say it. You go, how's the family, man? Good though. Do you? Yeah. Because now I don't think you do. No, he said it the way.
That's how you say it.
You go, how's the family, man?
Good?
Family all right?
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
It don't even know.
Yeah, you could.
He just says that to a wall.
Yeah, say it again.
He says it to a wall.
Family good?
Well, actually, you just keep moving on.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, okay.
So they're good.
So everything's good.
So everything's good.
Yeah. You go, well, they're on the moon.
Heather Hufton.
I am pregnant with a boy, and my husband and I are trying to come up with a name.
Our only real requirements are that the average person has to be able to say and spell it,
and it still is a little unique.
I figure since Nate is the greatest average American
and regularly mispronounces pretty simple names,
I would test our top two on him, Aiden or Anderson.
I'm pulling for Anderson.
Ooh.
In my head, I think Aiden,
but then I do think Anderson's a way more unique first name.
I thought you were going to go Nate, which is pretty solid.
So there's Anderson Cooper.
That's true.
I don't know any Adans.
She did lead it like that, like she was going to name it Nate.
There's Anderson Park.
Aiden.
Who's that?
Musician.
Okay.
Do you know any Adans?
I don't know any Adans, but it's just Aiden.
Former sound guy at Zany's.
Yeah.
That's about all I got.
I keep that in mind, Heather.
I like Anderson.
I know some Adens.
Aiden Hufton or Anderson Hufton?
Anderson.
Anderson Hufton.
Anderson's more of a last name.
I know, but it's, but you don't see it.
Aiden feels like a, you know.
Think about making Anderson a middle name, first name Arn,
and then it could be like the Four Horsemen, Arn Anderson Huffton.
Every famous person named Aiden is pretty young.
Now, she sent this in weeks ago, so she's probably made her decision.
Aiden Hutchinson from Michigan.
Oh, yeah.
He's a big star.
So we probably shouldn't criticize one of the names.
Yeah, they're both good names.
Whatever you want to go do.
Either way, your kid's going to be a star.
Anderson, yeah.
Yeah, either way, he'd be good.
Anderson is unique.
He's definitely unique.
And it's old.
Chuck Berry's real name is Anderson.
That's not a good sign.
The first one is that he changed it.
That's his given name.
What is it?
You know, there's the given name because someone gave it to you.
Yeah.
And then you're like, well, I'm doing something different.
I gave it back.
Yeah.
Well, your given name is Nathan, Nathaniel.
Yeah. And then if I'm like, well, hey, I don't really like that I was it back. Yeah. Well, your given name is Nathan, Nathaniel. Yeah.
And then if I'm like, well, hey, I don't really like that I was given that.
Anderson Silva.
Oh, yeah.
There you go.
Yeah.
Drops off pretty good after that.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's different.
It's definitely different.
What about Anderson Dawson?
Look at that mustache on that guy.
Yeah.
That's solid.
Do you want that, Heather?
I mean.
Yeah, no, but it's not.
It stands out.
I bet there's other Adans in your class.
There's not going to be another Anderson.
No.
Instead of the joke of two first names, you got two last names.
What would be a nickname for that?
Andy.
Huh?
Andy.
Andy.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's great.
Andy Huffton. Andy Huffton's a good name you could go ander
yeah ander really keep it unique yeah and you could say you could say this is my daughter
anderson anderson this is his daughter anderson and Anderson. Sarah and Dippity.
Yes, yes.
Yeah, that is funny.
This is my daughter, Anderson.
Yeah.
You would be saying, this is Jill Anderson.
Yeah.
And you're like, what?
This is my son, Anderson.
What? I like it yeah i'm a big fan of it all right so this week we are talking about art uh i feel like i could be a movie critic
did we not do art with kevin eand yeah no we didn't get into it
oh we were going to but we never got into it okay um i feel like i could be a uh a film critic i
feel like i watch movies i can tell you why they're good why they're bad all that music i don't really
can't tell the difference you think you have you can say something unique about movies i mean to
the point where i can tell you i could watch a movie and tell you probably what it's going to be on Rotten Tomatoes.
Okay.
By the critics.
By the critics or the people?
Critics.
You can't do the people.
No.
You're not a man of the people.
No.
See, I think I'm the greatest average American because I know when people are going to be like, we're not on board with that.
Yeah.
We don't like that.
Uh-huh.
But you're the opposite.
He doesn't even care about what they think.
You're above the elite, the elitist average American.
That's right.
Yeah.
But art, my father-in-law worked for the Frist Art Museum until a couple years ago.
He got us season passes, and we would go.
And I look at art, and I don't get it at all.
I look at it, and I'm like, I feel like I could do that.
I know I couldn't, but I feel like some of these paintings that are priceless,
I'm like, I could do that.
So we have so many.
This is going to be one of those episodes where it's probably going to drive
people crazy because we have so many talented artists that are fans of the podcast.
This shirt I'm wearing here, Jesse Rothacker sent all of us
Nate Land shirts, very nice of him.
But the design is done by Keir Smith,
who does a lot of funny caricatures for us.
And he sent us this, he sent us all a card.
That's from the Dakotas episode.
Very, very, very talented artist.
Yeah, that's the TV show
that they want to create.
Yeah, the Nate and Slay show.
Yeah, where Nate's
my next door neighbor at Rich.
In a trailer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we got a lot of talented artists here.
Now that, I'm like,
that's amazing.
I could never do that
in a million years. But then I see some paint splashed on a wall, I'm like, that's amazing. I could never do that in a million years.
But then I see some paint splashed on a wall,
and I'm like, I think I could do that.
You could.
I could?
Yeah.
Oh, so you're, okay.
Paint splashed on the wall?
Yeah, this is a trick they pulled on us, I think.
Yeah, but I think it's a trick that,
it's the way we always talk about,
people say they're a comedian and they're not a comedian,
but they're funny on Instagram or they make funny things
and they're always like, well, I'm a comedian.
You're like, eh, it's not.
If you're really looking at the art of stand-up comedy,
you're like, you're not really doing it.
And I would imagine artists paint.
There's a lot of painting like that where it's like
you get some hype around somebody it's about that and then they go oh i did this and you just go wow
and you can just it looks fine but i but i bet there's there's there's the difference is probably
yes wild yeah and it's like it's like oh yeah dude it's like you're like that's just i know
there is a difference i just can't
realize it like jackson pollock who was an abstract artist he would just literally throw
paint on a canvas and make it into something what's one of his uh but if he was the first
is he the first to do this he kind of pioneered that style yeah so here's a jackson pollock painting yeah
so he's doing it beautiful well it's more like no that's a jackson pollock like you'd be like oh wow
you got that but if the guy was no one was doing that at that time then yeah then it is then right
i mean you would agree that it's like oh i've never seen you that like painting was
more it was a painting and now it's like he has some method to this or whatever and now you're
just buying the name totally you know this is like the the money laundering that goes into this art
if i if i commissioned dusty if i pay you5,000 to make me a painting, right?
And then I get it.
And then I have my friend Brian who appraises art for a living.
He values it at $20 million, right?
Then I donate that to a museum and I write off $20 million on my taxes
from a $5,000 painting.
Wow.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh, that happens all the time.
Oh, I got to get into into art then is that why people are
into that's why they're i will they people think i mean a lot of these paintings we're like why is
that a 70 million dollar painting of just a red square yeah like that's why because this is this
is money laundering about the world's richest people yeah i've never heard that yeah oh that
makes i have heard of some people painting and selling their paintings for really a
lot of money where it's like that seems sketchy yeah like why would anyone buy that for that much
money i mean there is something to spending money on good art but obscene amounts of money
doesn't make sense it's it's the it's owning the thing like it gets yeah like is that
bank seat like is that a true artist like i mean because he goes and just pops up and you don't
know where it's going to be and then people find it you know right yeah i mean like his is like
you know famous because it's like you don't even know who that guy is, right?
There's some, no, we don't.
There's a few people they think it might be that the main,
the number one guy they think is a guy named Robin Gunningham.
And he's an artist.
And there's been a few clues that make people think it's him.
But no, no one knows for sure. There's like three or four people that um does he get money banksy yeah i don't think so because doesn't he just do it
where but he is a publicist so that's what's weird oh yeah thanks he does yeah
interesting the graffiti artist can be really good there There was a guy, I can't remember his name, but there was a guy in Charleston and it was just this shopping center that was basically a dead shopping center with a giant empty parking lot.
But you would drive around behind it and the backside of it was just this beautiful graffiti artwork along the whole backside of the building.
It was just, I would take people there all the time. When they would visit charleston i would just take them to see this and you would
just do it with all with spray paint and it was really on james island i don't know maybe people
have seen it they listened to the podcast but it was so great yeah graffiti uh i mean you always
see it under bridges where you're like how did they get I think it's about getting there
I always see it and I think how did they get up there
how did no one catch this could not have been quick
like Banksy there's cameras everywhere
now it seems like how does he do it
and no one sees it
well he just picks it picks a spot
there are no cameras
oh yeah that's it wow
oh you found it amazing
yeah yeah Google's it wow this is some of this oh you found it amazing yeah yeah google's pretty
pretty great that's okay i mean it's not loading real well but i said james island graffiti you
remember these yeah that that kid with the boxing gloves for sure oh yeah those are nice man yeah
those are very nice i'm not loading right now for some reason yeah there's like a i don't know
yeah it was really great stuff though.
It's cool. There's legendary
street artists, graffiti artists. There's a
documentary about guys like in
New York and Philadelphia that
just are legends
for doing it.
Yeah, it's probably even,
that's like true art probably.
Like where it's guys that are doing
it and not making any money and they're just putting it out there.
Yeah.
But, I mean, I would think – I get – Laura likes some art.
She always likes local.
Like if there's like local or someone – like my buddy's wife, Amy Moffitt.
They live in Charlotte.
She became an artist.
We got one of her paintings.
And she does paintings.
She was like, she's like rated in,
Charlotte is one of the top artists.
But we have one of hers.
It's abstract.
Like that kind of...
I like that.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like that.
I like that kind of stuff.
Like it's just...
It's a lot of adding color to a room.
Yeah.
Where they say like depth.
Which there's...
But it's...
I could see owning...
But if you own...
What's the... What is's the Leonardo DiCaprio
Da Vinci
I'd buy one of his paintings too
yeah but it is
I could see
I could see it being a collector thing
if you were like alright I want to buy
I always want to get some kind of collecting thing some hobby and I could see it being a collector thing if you were like all right i want to buy i always want to get some kind of collecting thing some hobby and i could see it like if you got one like if you got a crazy
painting but it is it's it's it's it's you know someone could paint the mona lisa you're like
well someone could paint that better now but it's the it's it's all it's about the
what it is how it got like the jackson pollock is like it's about what it is, how it got there.
Like the Jackson Pollock is like it's about a guy's name.
Yeah, you know, I could tell all of your jokes word for word,
but I didn't come up with them, right?
Yeah.
It's like having the idea, being the first one to do it.
Yes.
That's more important.
Yes.
And so you're coming up with that kind of.
That's the real art.
Mm-hmm. Would you say that stand-up comedy is art, Dusty? Yeah, for sure it is. Yes. And so you're coming up with that kind of. That's the real art.
Would you say that stand-up comedy is art, Dusty?
Yeah, for sure it is. I mean, I think there is, with all of this stuff, there is comedy that can be done that I would not consider art.
Name names.
Well, you know, it's like you can just tell jokes and jokes jokes are just jokes i don't think there's really much art to it but like you know going up on stage and standing up there
for an hour and creating a show where people just watch you just stand still and tell jokes i mean
there's definitely an art to that to where it's like you know you're you're bringing them into
your world it's almost like a visual art in a way visual audio're you're bringing them into your world it's almost like a visual art
in a way visual audio like you're bringing them in painting pictures for them in their minds yeah
all right storytelling is an art form but it's like there is art there is comedy where you're
really just making people laugh and i don't know maybe that's art too but i don't know i don't
like a nightclub you don't but it's like
would you think of bands like that like if a band is just in a nightclub playing i would imagine
it's maybe it's not art yet yeah yeah but it could be art eventually but it's not it's not art yet
maybe the process is the art dude uh i thought you're gonna be all into that no no i'm saying it's not art yet okay you're
you're you're you don't get a the beginning is it becomes art i mean i don't know if you ever
really get it the person should not be able to say i'm doing the art it's up to people to decide
when it becomes art yeah and so if you're in a bar doing blah blah whatever you can't it's it's not
art you're not art yet it's not even
able to be art yet yeah with that in mind i just want to state that i don't walk around calling
myself an artist being like look at this art guy with the long hair and beard beard but uh but yeah
i mean there is i mean james gregory used to say he would say that there's more people that do brain
surgery than do what we do you know professionally so but rocket science uh well he only said brain surgery i don't i don't
know and i don't know if that status true but i heard him say it and i liked it yeah it sounds
yeah well there's more we need more brain surgeons than comedians we do need more, but he's just saying. Here's the definition of art.
Art in any form is an expression or application of human creativity, skill, and imagination.
Yeah.
So what I would say is a lot of this stuff that I'm talking about, there's no real imagination.
Just skill and creativity i mean i've seen people
be really hilarious with very generic jokes where i'm like not a lot of creativity here but i'm
laughing it's hard to it's hard to think of it as art though like where you're like you know
because you're like all right right just out there You're just out there being dumb. Yes.
Yeah.
And there's drunk people right in front of you.
It just feels very – you're in a mall.
I mean – It just feels silly.
I have jokes that I would not say are art.
And then I have others that I would be like, yeah, that's an art joke.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
But you're right.
Yeah.
I mean, there's just a bunch of drunk people yelling at you going,
this guy's not really that funny.
And, you know, you get that kind of stuff where it's like,
I don't know, is this art? I might just
go back to working at the Home Depot.
You should tell people before each joke
which ones you think is art and which ones aren't.
I may start doing that.
I got heckled at the Opry
this past weekend, which
just made me think there's
this venue. It was such a big show.
It felt very regal. It's still this dude in the like such a big show it felt very like regal
it's still this dude in the front i said something like i'm not dumb or i was just
trying to lead into a bit he goes that's a matter of opinion yeah i go yeah but i'm the one talking
right now i kind of snapped that i kind of lost my enough pretty much yeah it's well it's always
the hecklers in the front that get me if the guy had
been in the balcony yelled out that's a matter of opinion i can make that a joke yeah but you're
right up front maybe the only people that heard you is me yeah it might have just been me yeah
so it's like those are the worst that's the heckler that bothers me the most but you go back
and listen to it and see if you hear him i can get i should get the tape yeah i can get it uh yeah i i feel like art is like it's it's it's not for it shouldn't be for the uh the artist
to decide that you if you're the person it's not up to you you don't get to say if you're doing art
or not you just do your thing and then other people can decide if it's art or it's not art
i like that and the second you start thinking about you being an artist.
It's no good.
Well, that's the,
and I think that's a problem we have in the world today is everybody tells you
what they're doing, whether it's, I'm not saying in comedy,
but if it's in anything they're telling you,
because they have to have a reason for why they're doing this.
And so they tell you, well, it's, but I'm an art, like I'm this, I'm that,
this is art.
What I do is hard.
What I, they got to tell you where it's, I would, I would think anybody else,
you would, you know, it's like, if he made that painting,
he just makes that painting.
And if it becomes what it becomes, that's on us that made it become
that he didn't go this one's gonna be a big one i would no i don't know but i think there's a guy
at subway calling himself a sandwich artist yeah but they they but they guarantee it yeah but it
was like they're but they they're like a guy that uh owns a store that a sandwich shop and like does
it like he just this is what he does
he's good and then everybody that goes there like dude it's like he's like an artist with the
sandwich and he is an artist with the sandwich and but it's up to it's up to him it's his thing
like he you know we call him the artist he doesn't call himself the artist but i think too many people
call themselves the thing now which is that's the end dude like you can't
call yourself you you don't get to decide that's the that's the i think the whole point of art
that's that decides if you make it or don't make it so you could sign up to you a painter you can
call yourself a painter but not an artist yeah i think people say artists maybe just out of like
what are we going to do i'm not
going to have a four-hour conversation with you about stuff whatever so you might just you can
probably i'm an artist like i'm a painting art you know and you'd be like okay you're just trying
to move on but in general like it made that came with the title like i'm not trying to get into the
is it semantics of it all like because some of it's like you're moving on but you could you know paint cabinets and you're still painting yeah you're not an artist no no but i mean unless somebody
comes in and looks at your cabin cabinets and goes dang well you know the thing like the nancy
meyer's kitchens the way her kitchens are designed in all nancy meyer movies became a very big thing
that people are like oh i love the kitchen she had.
So them coming up with those kitchens is like, there is an art to that.
And the fact that people are enjoying, like they see it on the, they see it in the movies
and they're like, oh my gosh, like, look at these, like the way it's set up and everybody
wants that kitchen.
Like there's, that is a, you know, there's an art to that.
And the fact that there is design and that's I mean if you go look at an old
church like you know
whatever it's like the way it's
built and set up
you're like you know the architecture
all of it I'm sure there's
something to it
but you just you don't get to say
it's not up to you
when I looked up how many different types of art
there is the
internet has a wide array but there's comedy's probably not even on there it's not but it's
it's grouped under a spoken word i bet it's on there well here's here's the list that i went
with that says there's seven different forms of art painting sculpture literature architecture sculpture, literature, architecture, cinema, music, theater.
Oh, we're theater.
Yeah.
I mean, they're trying to shut the door on us,
but we're like, no, no, we're theater.
And there you go.
No, we're not.
They don't consider stand-up comedy.
Now we're mad.
We are artists.
Let me tell you something.
This is the hardest art I've ever done in my life.
And if these people got the nerve to not call me an artist,
I'm the best artist.
No, I just, all the stuff I say,
I just throw it out the window.
Well, you know, I started with improv.
And like improv, there's a thing,
like improvisers are like, we're doing art.
And they don't believe that standup comedy is art.
They're like, we're doing art.
Were you good at improv?
I was decent.
Okay.
I didn't, I couldn't create characters, but I'm, I'm sharp enough.
It's gotta be a brutal improv to watch.
To create a scene.
It's either great or it's like, yeah, to somebody like, ah.
I wasn't starting my own troupe, but I can, I can add to an already existing troupe.
Yeah.
Are you glad he did it? I am glad I did it. I liked it. I had a lot already existing trope. Yeah. Are you glad you did it?
I am glad I did it.
I liked it.
I had a lot of fun doing it.
Yeah.
But I don't like short-form games.
I like long-form improv where you make scenes,
and it's like watching an unscripted play.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm sure it's fun to watch.
If done right, it is very fun.
But I see what you're saying.
I mean, if done wrong, it's terrible.
It's really bad. You got to follow the rules you know i have trouble picture do you play in a character i don't do characters you know i'd be basically just me yeah well we're supposed to be
aliens on mars yeah well but they have home depot exactly exactly we're having a good time yeah right but i um you
know but they always considered that art and not stand-up comedy and they really looked down on the
stand-up comedy so funny if if what you did is so funny write it down and do it again right you
know what i mean exactly well it's it's hard and like so i understand that with improv. It is hard to come up with stuff like that.
But it's easier because you have the benefit of it being in the moment.
Yes.
Yeah, but it's a lot of work.
It takes them a long time to get.
It's hard, I'm sure, to come up with stuff,
but the bar for a joke is so much lower.
Yeah, yeah.
But, I mean, to get to a high level of it is and to be flowing like that
whose line is anyway to those guys to be that's pretty that's a lot of years well they're like
amazing yeah i mean there's i mean i know that that's why it's like there's a lot of years that
go into that and so it's i would i would argue that the the improvs that you don't know
and they're complaining when they're young,
you're like, yeah, well, you're not good.
But to get to the highest level, you know,
if you're Chris Farley and you're those guys,
that's a different, that's a completely different kind of thing.
Those people are very funny people.
Right, right.
And like, so there is something different
to that but yeah i know what you mean like it's the bar is lower it's uh you can save it with
being dirty probably at any point yeah same argument for stand-up and improv people are
so wacky i i said one time kind of jokingly but i kind of blame uh uh my alcoholism on
improv because i moved to Charleston.
I started hanging out with all these improv people and they were like at the
bar after the show doing bits, you know, doing characters.
And I'm like drinking, hoping, thinking that if I get drunk enough,
I can be goofy like they are.
You know, so I'm trying to keep up with these improvisers by drinking.
And then I just end up
in a fight yeah you know what i mean little did you know you were meant to be a state of comic
in the back of the room yes making fun of everyone else yes yes i don't know if i was supposed to
read that but i think so the um when you i'm still used this, not getting used to this new format.
And when you started that, I was like, where's he going with this?
How's this tying into art?
Is gambling art?
Could be.
Is a poker player?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is that an art?
It's got to, I mean, it's a loose, like it's, it's, you could say, I mean,
because it's an art to reading people to know.
I mean, it's a skill.
Or a science, maybe.
Well, but there has to, you have to have, I would imagine the great ones have some art to it.
Like, Tiger Woods is, you know, like Michael Jordan.
Like, there's some art to it.
There's the skill to it, but then there's the art, the vision that they see to do the, you know, shot, to take the shot.
But you really wouldn't consider that to be an art i just watched the movie maverick the other day and mel gibson in that movie really makes it
look like art yeah i've never seen that i mean it's yeah it's great i mean he really read yeah
reading people's tells and stuff like that he really hey if i i'm drinking i'm drinking i just got a coffee uh can i drink out of a straw if i've been it's been uh like 12 days since my yeah
yeah yeah 12 days is you're fine yeah let's find out totally yeah i mean just don't put a lot on it
you know what i mean kind of ease it up on there. Oh, it's like when you go...
Yeah, and then that causes the suction
to pull the blood clot out.
Your blood clot's been healed for days.
Yeah.
You're good.
Well, Maverick is a great movie.
James Garner, he was the original Maverick
and then this was the remake.
Oh, okay.
But James Garner plays his dad in that movie.
Well, I don't give it
away but yeah all right yeah that's really the big reveal at the end oh it is yeah
i mean is it again a 30 year old movie well it is a reveal but it's also not pivotal
for the movie i could still enjoy oh yeah i could watch it i mean the movie. I could still enjoy it. Oh, yeah. I could watch it.
I mean, the movie is, to me, about 30 minutes too long,
but it is very good.
Here's though where-
I like it a lot.
I think the giving away movies though,
why it's tough is because you got to think,
people that are in their 20s and 30s
would never have seen these movies.
Yeah.
So then they go back and you're ruined.
As a movie critic, as you just claimed yourself,
you're one of the worst ones in the fact that you give away most of the ends of movies that's what movie critics do
they talk about movies all his reviews would just be spoiled and that's the first line you have the
most famous joke ever the six cents about yeah but i didn't claim to be a movie critic. Brianruinsmovies.com.
Maverick is peak Mel Gibson.
I mean, Mel Gibson is crushing in this.
It went like Maverick, Braveheart, Patriot, like back to back to back.
Oh, yeah.
See, I think Lethal Weapon, Mel Gibson.
Oh, I like Lethal Weapon, but that was the big...
Mel Gibson, what a career.
Passion of Christ.
Really took a turn.
Ups and downs.
But I mean, to go from...
He was just an actor in Australia,
just like a local actor when Mad Max happened.
Oh, then he kind of took off after that.
What a story.
Yeah.
How old was he? I mean, he's got kind of a wild story how old was he
he's got kind of a wild story he was like a small time actor
and then he got a big role
yeah that's the main
yeah
what a journey
golly can't believe
the rollercoaster took us on
it's like Michael Jordan
he was just a guy who played basketball in high school
that's all he was and then in one day he's a pro one day he's a pretty wild story
heard dolly parton was a little girl at one point a little girl with a guitar and a dream.
Anybody want to guess how many colors
there are out there?
Colors?
Primary colors?
Primary colors
and then total colors.
Three primary colors.
I think the way
you say that word
sounds like the U
is in it.
Is that how the British say it?
Yeah.
It's like,
if I heard you say that word
and you go spell it,
I would spell it
the way the British spell it.
I'd be like, well, definitely O-U-R-S.
Colors.
You know, they say Southern accent is just a slowed down version
of British accent.
Really?
Who says that?
It sounds like a drunk maniac right there.
Huh, bear son?
It's just like he woke a bear up over there.
Brine bait.
Brine bait.
Brine baits?
What do you got over there?
You got a little hundred grand.
Someone tries to rob you, walks out with just a bag of change.
No supplies.
From the cap store? You even have a bag to carry this change supplies. Oh, from the
cap store?
You even have a
bag to carry this
change in?
No, we don't
have any supplies,
sir.
Damn it,
Brian Bates.
Brian?
Brian Bates.
Brian Bates.
Well, there are
11 main colors.
Not primary.
Well, I don't
know the difference,
but there's 11
main ones. Well, primary don't know the difference, but there's 11 main ones.
Primary are like red
and yellow and blue.
I'd imagine those are the main ones then.
And then
red and yellow make
there's another
one too though, I think. Blue and yellow make green.
Yes.
But if you mix them all together,
red and blue make purple.
Different shades.
So you got to look at how many shades of light.
Before you read this, ask if it seems like anybody's going to care.
Other than me?
Yeah.
All right.
Well, I'm going to keep going.
There's a thousand shades of light that the eye can detect.
George H.W. Bush said that, I think, in a speech.
A thousand points of light.
Yep.
We can also see a hundred.
He just reads and listens to his speeches.
Is that what y'all played for school every morning?
I'm colorblind.
Yeah. Is there like a quick answer to that ten thousand okay uh
i was gonna tell you how we got to that number but well yeah okay i can't imagine it's interesting
and the tvs don't have yellow on them do you, really? Yeah. You can't wear yellow? No.
There's no... I can't find a good article about this.
No.
I mean, look,
you can see yellow on the TV,
but there's not actually
yellow pixels on TVs.
How can you not find
a good article about it?
Because he made it up.
How many articles?
Imagine the publication
that's like,
what do you want to write about?
You know there's no yellows
on TV screens?
There's not. And he goes, all right, well, with the Wall Street Journal, okay. Imagine the publication that's like, what do you want to write about? You know there's no yellows on TV screens?
There's not.
And he goes, all right, well, with the Wall Street Journal, okay.
You're a good writer.
I found some hobo writing about it, but I can't find just a solid article about it.
Oh, man.
It's tough to find. Go to the colorblind test.
Okay.
If people can see this,
Larry, I'm colorblind. We've done this,
haven't we? Did we do the color test?
I don't remember. Not while I've been here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes. So I cannot...
So...
Yeah. We'll get it to the... Yeah, did we
do it? Maybe we... We have uh i can see so i see 12
the second one's kind of tough uh i'm trying to think that the i see is that three right there
second the bottom one on the second i do not see a number wow and that farthest one in the middle
yeah i see nothing okay so those are
that's red and green looks like the red and green's in trouble with what about the bottom
row the third one over five wow to me that's the toughest one it's hard to see it's not like it
just pops out 12 pops out the most yeah Yeah. The other ones I can see.
The bottom right one, I can't tell what that is.
I don't even see anything, so.
It's 45 there.
I see all those.
Oh, really?
I feel good, yeah.
Yeah, I feel pretty good.
Oh, you do?
Yeah.
There you go.
All right.
Yeah.
Feels good.
I'd rather talk about the shades, the different colors.
How many are there?
How did we get there?
How did we get to 10,000 then?
Well, let me see.
Let me go back now.
I'll have to look it back up.
But there are different types of artists.
There's sketch artists.
There's police sketch artists.
Oh, yeah.
One of the worst sketch artists for courtroom was the Tom Brady sketch during Deflategate.
Do you remember this?
Okay, there it is.
Oh, wow. There it is. Oh, wow.
What did they let this person work?
It's not a bad, like...
I don't know if you'd guess it's Tom Brady.
You would never guess that's Tom Brady.
But it's...
Yeah, some of the stuff with his art,
like how did they...
Was he in a hurry?
Like it feels like if you, for this one you'd go, well, how long was the trial?
And they're like 10 minutes.
And you'd go, oh, okay.
You had to scribble that out quick.
Yeah, then I understand.
I think it is a, there probably is a rush to get it done so that you can sell it to the news stations quickly, right?
Why can't they take pictures?
In federal court, it's just not allowed.
I think something about juries and-
I'm saying I don't mind it either.
Just protecting your own privacy?
I don't mind the drawing of it.
I think I kind of like that it's kind of old school.
You almost have to make sure you're this bad of an artist
to be able to do it.
You're not violating Tom Brady's privacy at all.
The more you focus in on it, you can see Tom Brady in that camera.
Well, why is Sylvester Stallone right next to him?
You would never guess that if you didn't know, though.
No.
Maybe a little less focus on the guy behind him.
Doesn't that look like Sylvester Stallone?
Oh, yeah. I would think that's Sylvester Stallone? Oh, yeah.
I would think that's Sylvester Stallone more than I would think that's Tom Brady.
Tom Brady, yeah.
And then I go, I would say that, and then you go, well, that's Tom Brady.
You go, well, that's definitely Sylvester Stallone.
I'm sure they hung out.
And then Bill Belichick in uniform here.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's terrible.
Robert Kraft probably in the back.
White hair.
Just right there?
No, no. The guy you just zoomed in on. That's who you said, Belichick. Just right there? No, no.
The guy you just assumed.
Is that hair?
It looks like he's wearing a hat.
I thought it was a hat, too.
It looks like an underarm.
I don't think he's wearing a hat in federal court.
Well, you never know.
The fact that that went to, where'd it go?
That's the big court, right?
Well, it's not the Supreme Court, but it's...
But it's enough that we shouldn't have been there?
Yeah. Enough that it was silly't have been there. Yeah.
Enough that it was silly that they were there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then there's police sketch artists that sometimes go terribly wrong.
I want to ruin the reveal.
Do you want to set this up at all?
Like, what is it?
Well, this is a real police sketch artist, and they gave him a description, and I will say the guy was caught.
Really?
Wow.
Oh gosh.
I mean,
it's just an expression.
Yeah.
I love,
they didn't even try to put eyebrows in on the sketch.
And the fact that they got them.
I,
I,
I know.
I have to believe that it had nothing to do with the
police yeah the sketch didn't help they didn't look at the sketch and then go to the mall and
go wait is that it looks like a muppet he's got lego hair yeah it's like that's bring your kid
to work day and the sketch artist is like let my son do it that's what it looks like yeah
but we'll take a lot of time shading his neck so that i
wonder is it if you're a sketch artist at a police thing are you just is that your only job
that's a good question or do you think it's just the police artist or police artist
this is a policeman that can kind of draw no no i i mean is it is it like do they are they also
go work at the fair like you know is it is it you're like grabbing those guys or is it like do they also go work at the fair? That's what I mean.
Is it you're like grabbing those guys?
Or is it like the guy just sits in a room with a big board and it's just like when they need him, they need him?
When I worked at Channel 5, there was a federal court case where we had to hire a sketch artist.
And I asked around some of my friends and they're like, I know a guy.
And he came in and he interviewed and he showed us some of his sketches so i'm like all right we're gonna hire you to be our sketch artist and this is just a friend recommended this guy he
showed us his sketches so the day of the trial federal courthouse downtown broadway nashville
i'm there he's not there and it's about to start and i'm freaking out just like in a movie like where's my guy he comes in wearing jean shorts
on rollerblades sweating it was like middle of July he'd rollerbladed over from East Nashville
and I mean I think he did a fine job as a sketch artist but it was like my cousin Viti as far as
how embarrassed I was at the moment that this guy was who I picked to represent us. Wow.
It doesn't really answer your question at all.
Did you find the guy?
That was the guy I just described.
That was the guy that... No, the sketch artist.
But after he sketched the person, did you find him?
It was a trial.
It was like the Tom Brady thing.
Oh, he's got to go in there and draw.
Yeah, he was there all day.
It says only about 100... this is as of six years
ago this is an article in some website only about a hundred full-time sketch artists remain on police
payrolls in the united states it's a dying breed most police departments now rely on part-time
contractors for suspect sketches others just use computer programs where you can create sketches
from pre-loaded facial
features so this is kind of this is before covid i'd go ahead and say there's zero full time no i
bet you're right i bet you're right yeah there's probably some old school old school police captain
that wants to keep one around or something you know i saw some some digital sketches that went
bad too where they'll say oh the guy had some facial hair and then he'll look like a wolf man.
So sometimes computers mess it up too.
That can't be real.
That is real.
Now that was not a sketch artist.
That was someone who they just asked to sketch what the suspect looked like.
Amateur sketch.
But they also caught that guy.
That's closer than the other one.
That is closer than the other one. That is closer than the other one.
At least got the proportions of his eyes and everything.
Yeah.
I don't know what these little lines on the cheeks are for.
Yeah, he goes, can you draw?
Yeah.
I can do a little bit.
I'll do a little bit.
In theory.
I know how it works.
I can't draw at all.
No?
I mean, I'm the least imaginative person.
Well, I mean, that's different. I can draw, but I don't think of what I'm the least imaginative person. Well, I mean, that's different.
I can draw, but I don't think of what I'm drawing.
I can just draw something like a picture in a book or something.
Yeah.
Maybe if I tried, yeah.
I don't know.
I used to draw all the time.
Me too.
All the time.
Were you good at it?
Pretty good.
Not great.
Pretty good, though.
Decent.
Yeah.
Left-handers are better.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I did all right.
I mean, I don't draw much at all now.
I have a smartphone, you know, so any boredom is on my phone.
But when I was a kid, I'd have to go to my grandmother's house.
She wouldn't let me watch anything on TV.
There's no one to play with.
I would just lay on the floor and draw.
Yeah.
You think that's a real problem?
Is it good for imagination? imagination the boredom yeah there's no boredom anymore right now because you just tick tock or whatever it used to be like
you flip through the channels on tv and they're like oh there's nothing on and you just cut it
off and try to go do something but now there's always something on you can always find something yeah and that's usually
where you did interesting stuff right came up with an idea wrote a joke wrote a song something
yeah not anymore it's gone are you talking about your generation or i'm talking about all of us
but are you saying you did that i think so yeah i think all innovation comes out of either boredom or desperation.
Yeah.
And I think we have less of both of those.
Yeah.
That's probably true.
I thought maybe by the time you were a child, there was a bunch of options.
I mean, I had a stick for like six years.
You didn't even get creative with it.
You're like, I got a stick. stick no i got very creative with it that's
all i had but still want talks to it you learn a lot of stuff to do with it
but now there's this the ai that you love that you can just draw anything right right right
somebody just sent us some of you i'll have to forward to you of the i don't know what it even
what it is you put in a program and it just oh dude i was getting
open i can get open ai chats to write jokes in your voice oh really it's awesome yeah you want
to see that real quick yeah yeah i'll pull that up it'll take just two seconds brian all right
that yeah i mean that's the part that's like so they start being funny or they start being creative
then the artist is gone but people people are still going to want...
You still want...
We want to be around each other. Totally.
But it's a fun thing to...
It's a fun thing to play around with.
Now, what do you want to hear
a joke, Nate,
to write a joke about?
Give me a topic.
Do an improv. Come on. You're
decent at it. Yeah.
Oh, you want me to... yeah oh not a joke this is right a joke in the style of nate bargetti about about farming farming chickens
farming chickens yeah all right i'm not saying this is going to be great material but it is, you know. Oh, that's not good at all.
Oh, boy. They just end up as poultry in motion.
That's a joke.
Let's do a stand-up.
Well, try to do it.
How do they?
I think, because I've done this where it was.
All right, so if you're listening,
write a stand-up comedy bit in the style of Nate Bargatze about farming and then i'll read it okay all right uh so i'm a farmer right
and i've got these chickens on my farm now i don't know if you've ever tried to herd chickens
before but let me tell you it's not easy they're like the teenagers of the animal kingdom they just
wander off and do their own thing so i'm out there trying to round them up,
and I see one of them making a break for it.
It's running across the field,
flapping its wings and squawking.
And I'm like, hey, get back here.
But it doesn't even hear me.
So I chase after it, and I finally catch it,
and I bring it back to the coop.
And do you know what it does?
It looks at me and says,
I was just trying to cross the road. I swear to you, these chickens are constantly trying back to the coop. And do you know what it does? It looks at me and says, I was just trying to cross the road.
I swear to you, these chickens are constantly trying to cross the road.
I don't know what they're hoping to find on the other side.
Maybe they think they're finding some kind of chicken utopia.
All I know is they never make it.
They just end up as poultry in motion.
But, hey, at least they're providing me with some good material
for my stand-up comedy career, so i guess i can't complain too much wow it kind of got but i mean the up top was pretty
yeah yeah like the the rhythm of it yeah i think because i've done i did one when i was just trying
this out i was like write a bit about style of neighborhood gets about bagels it was like
bagels i mean how do you even spell but it was just like a bit about how you couldn't spell
bagels it wasn't even about bagels.
I was like, oh, this is great.
Can it do it?
Like, how does it, does it know like your.
I think based on just some of the responses, it looks like it's, it's, um, this has no, not, this is, by the way, this is the chat open AI.
Um, it says there's no, this has no information past the year 2021, but I think it found, or I think you can look up some of like the transcripts from your specials.
That's what I think, just based on some of the responses that I got.
It would have to be almost seem like for it to be that accurate.
Yeah.
It's pretty cool.
Yeah.
Have you seen the picture of the news anchor who read the story about the, I think it was a rapist on the loose and the sketch looked exactly like him oh yeah oh man that's too bad yeah that's tough that's tough
yeah wasn't him no it was not him when you're on the news like that can you see the picture that
comes up yeah so he can look see the picture that comes up?
Yeah.
So he can look at the picture that's up there on the screen?
Mm-hmm.
There's like a monitor that he's looking at as well.
And that's probably, did anybody, did they address that?
I don't think in the moment they did.
Now it's become a famous.
I've never seen the video of this.
I've only seen the screenshot.
And I searched for it and couldn't find.
Uh-huh.
So I think someone took a picture off their screen,
and that might be a 20 year old photo.
There is a, in Boston, there's a museum of bad art and they have a whole protocol.
It's called MOBA, MO, Museum of Bad Art.
And they, they collect bad art from artists.
They have a protocol.
You can't just, anybody has to do it.
It has to be someone who's legitimately trying,
wasn't trying to do it as a joke,
and it has to have a certain aesthetic badness to it.
So you can go there, you can see it,
and they've got some examples there.
Or anyway, I saw some photos earlier.
But anyway, it's just a place for bad art.
Yeah.
Oh, well.
Is there none of it?
I saw some. This website stinks.
Oh.
Oh, so this looks pretty good.
Yeah.
Like I said, I can't tell the difference.
To me, that looks.
This one looks terrible.
Yeah.
Well, they, yeah.
All right.
I'd hang that.
That's carrot top.
It is bad, but it's that it's but i think but that it is bad but it's it's it's uh
it's how it's presented yeah a lot of it's that if they presented you that that was good
yeah and you would assume it's good oh totally you could hang this in the louvre
or whatever and i'd be like oh i guess i don't get it but it must be good i think people that
are into art can...
I'm sure.
There's something to it.
I'm sure.
But I do think a lot of it is...
But that's how everything is.
Everything is being presented as...
But we have a way, stand-up comedy, you know immediately if it's good or bad,
because people give you an audible response.
Yeah, that's why...
Yeah. I mean yeah that's why uh yeah i mean that's why i guess people would say stand up though is like you you say the same stuff over
and over again yeah but it's like that's but that is the the art of it is like you know because
otherwise you're like well then it's not good yeah like even like the improv there's just a run
of risk of improv you're like you're gonna hit a
stretch that's you know unless they're great it could be really bad where stand-up and it can be
bad but if you get to a higher level it's like what's hard to get it to i mean it's it's hard
to get it to that point and that's your painting right it's spoken word but it's like if you if
you paint a really good painting you hang it in a, then people come look at it and they don't go, Oh, it's the same old
painting every time. It's like, but if you're a, so it's like our joke is our painting. Yeah.
All right. So I'll, I'll end on this. That was nice. In 2012 in a little town in Spain,
there was a painting on a church wall of Jesus and it was called Behold the Man. And
it was starting to crack and it was painted in 1930. So it was starting to crack and fall apart.
So this elderly woman, I think she was 81 years old, kind of volunteered herself to try to restore
the painting. So she was going to repaint it herself and fix it up. And things went terribly wrong.
And here's the before and after.
Oh, wow.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, it's so sad.
Oh, dude.
Now, in her defense, I don't know that she's 81.
She said she went on a two-week vacation and was going to finish it when she got back.
She wasn't done.
And she said then she gets back from two weeks vacation.
And it's a national news story because it's so bad.
It's hard to imagine how you could fix that.
Yeah, how do you come back from that?
But she says she wasn't done yet.
Now, it ended up being, in a way, a great thing because the church was struggling financially.
The whole town was struggling financially.
And now this little B town has become a huge tourist attraction.
And people go there, and it's kind of saved the town.
The church, they charge $1, one euro per person to enter the church for viewing.
And all the proceeds go to help the church.
And this woman, who's I think still alive, she's in her 90s now,
she gets half of the money and it goes to help her son who has cerebral palsy.
Oh, wow.
That's nice.
Half the money?
She said she had to go to a psychiatrist to deal with all the embarrassment
and fallout from this.
That makes it a lot less fun.
Yeah, I feel sorry for her because she said,
I didn't do anything secretive.
They knew I was doing this and then it just didn't go well.
Note to self, though.
Don't start a project and then go on a two-week vacation.
I mean, go ahead and finish up that project.
I guess so.
She's probably in this little B church thinking,
nobody's going to see this.
And then she's on vacation, and the news is there.
I mean,
it looks tough.
It doesn't even look cute.
isn't there like fame,
like statues and stuff
of like,
didn't Obama have a weird one?
A statue that's like,
wasn't great.
Maybe.
We talked about that
Ronaldo one that's terrible.
Yeah,
the Ronaldo one.
There's paintings.
I mean,
Derek Mason on the side
of that.
Oh, yeah. redid that one
yeah yeah the ronaldo statue is really bad and it's like
it it is like how do you get to that point it's it's it's it's got to be it's honestly someone at
the top that does not care like that's almost what it's got to be.
I guess I don't know what that guy really looks like, but.
I thought.
Find a side-by-side here.
But, you know, it's like.
He doesn't look like that.
Yeah, there's a picture.
Oh, that side-by-side statue really gave it a.
Yeah, it's.
Yeah, he looks like a goofball.
Yeah, that's pretty true.
I mean, Ronaldo is like almost like – isn't he almost like the prototype of the perfect man?
Yeah.
And like you get that statue to be like, no, dude, you're –
Hey, you guys.
That's what it looks like.
It does look like that.
You know, it's like it is.
Like how do you get to that at that level?
Yeah.
You know, where you're doing something like that.
Unless it's like a, I guess it's if it's a small town.
And I don't know the story.
Hasn't there been some like NFL Hall of Fame?
I feel like now sculptures that just did not look like them.
I feel like there's been some cases.
I think you're going to get more and more to that.
Because I don't think people care about anything anymore.
Yeah.
I think you're going to run into i don't think people care about anything anymore yeah i think you're gonna you're gonna run into uh you know people just want instant and so there's not uh
but in the hall of fame case yeah i think sean taylor had one that was weird oh yeah recently
right oh dude yeah and it was it's tough to look at but apparently, it was getting a ton of crap online because it's like a mannequin.
Everyone's like, God, we should find a better picture of this.
It's a Sean Taylor memorial.
But apparently, the family of this guy all said they were really happy with it,
which I guess is all that matters.
Yeah.
That first one?
Yeah.
Yeah. matters but yeah that first one is that not yeah yeah this is if you look it's like a wiry
mannequin and then like just pretty much that's it just like shoulder pads yeah it doesn't there's
it's not there's no face or anything there's no statue at all yeah were they going for an
artistic look i guess so yeah sort of artsy the most famous statue in the world
probably
is the statue of David
done by Michelangelo
in Florence, Italy
which I've been to
I've seen
big time
yeah
Michelangelo was asked
by the Pope
people could smoke on planes
yeah
he was still working on it
when I got there
maybe a little there, a little there.
Michelangelo was asked by the Pope about his secret of genius
and how he carved this beautiful statue.
And he said, it's simple.
I just remove everything that is not David.
Which is great.
I mean, it starts off as one big block, and then he just chisels away and makes it.
But if you make one mistake, you're done.
Do you got to pay to go see it?
No, it's outside.
And it's just anybody can see it.
You just walk by it.
You're like, all right.
Yeah.
There it is.
Yeah.
He also painted, of course, the seal of Sistine Chapel.
Yeah.
Sistine Chapel is pretty amazing.
I've heard.
Did you go in there?
I did.
Yeah.
What did you think of it?
Yeah.
It's all right.
I couldn't really tell the difference.
Bad art, good art.
You just couldn't tell.
Well, I couldn't tell.
I mean, the most famous painting is the Creation of Man.
Right.
That part right there.
That right there.
I couldn't tell the difference between that
and all the other incredible art on the ceilings.
I walked in.
I was like, golly, look at all this.
Yeah.
Gomer Powell goes to Italy. I was like, golly, look at all this. Gomer,
Gomer Powell
goes to Italy.
I was like,
there it is right there.
And then they're like,
nope,
that's not it.
And I'm like,
there it is.
No.
Brian Bates.
Golly.
Yeah.
But I,
golly
whoa
how do you paint all that up
yeah
how old were you
how tall was he
uh
42
oh okay
how do you reach up there
yeah how do you reach up there
golly
I ain't never seen
ceiling that high
golly
I don't know seen ceiling that high. Golly.
I don't know.
I was an adult.
Yeah.
Well into my adulthood.
I think they're selling M&Ms over there.
I'll take some M&Ms.
Golly, you get a look at this paint every day as you sell these.
I tell you, I used to sell M&M Skittles, but it's out in the woods.
Now look where I'm at. And now look at you.
That's the dream. All right. I guess at. And now look at you. That's the dream.
All right.
I guess that's a good place to stop.
Dang, that's cool.
Where are you guys going to be this weekend?
This weekend, I am with Henry Cho in Tullahoma, Tennessee
at the South Jackson Civic Center.
In January 28th, I'm in Waukesha, Wisconsin at Fox River Christian Church with two other
funny comedians, Johnny W. and Darren Streplo.
Oh, nice, man.
At the end of January, I'm at Good Nights Comedy Club in Raleigh, North Carolina.
And then the next weekend, we got a fun little show.
Oh, yes, we did. February little show. Yes, we did.
February 3rd.
Yeah, February 3rd.
We're going to be in Lexington, Kentucky at the Lexington Opera House, right?
Dusty's hotline.
Brian and I are there as well.
Yep.
Yes.
Yes, it's going to be great.
I was trying to stall for you to jump in.
Oh, yeah.
No, it's going to be great.
Yeah, it's fun.
It's going to be a hot lineup. It's going to be the bad I was trying to stall for you to jump in. Oh, yeah. No, it's going to be great. Yeah, it's fun. It's going to be a hot lineup.
It's going to be the bad part of the band, as they say,
and it's going to be awesome.
Have you heard that?
That'll be Lexington, Kentucky on the 3rd.
You know the band is when you see all of us,
but for us it's just going to be the bad.
The bad part of the band.
But for me, I'm going to be off this coming up weekend,
but next weekend I'm doing a run.
Let them know. Always let them know when to be off this coming up weekend. But next weekend, I'm doing a run.
Let them know.
Always let them know when you're off.
Got to corporate.
Got to be doing a run.
Mobile, Alabama on the 18th.
19th in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
20th, Lafayette, Louisiana.
21st, New Orleans, Louisiana.
So that's going to be great.
You know what? this is a funny
thing I've noticed about you Dusty is when you say a city you always say it like you're
differentiating it from another city in the same state yeah do you know what I mean yeah yeah well
next weekend I'll be in Charleston South Carolina after that I'm going to Toledo, Ohio. As opposed to.
Yeah, I love it.
I like to let you know.
I like to be very specific about what's going on with me.
Yeah, I think I'm in Jonesboro, Arkansas.
I don't remember.
Jackson, Mississippi.
Maybe Jackson, Mississippi.
Something.
I'm going out there
Be Funny Tour starts
special coming out
January 31st
be close to that
Jackson, Mississippi
Jonesboro
Chattanooga
Columbia, South Carolina
you're all over
then you're
South Bend
Fort Wayne
Des Moines first place in magic Des Moines South Bend. Hey. Fort Wayne.
Des Moines.
First place in magic.
Des Moines.
And then that special comes out in Vegas.
Yep.
All right.
Wichita Falls, Texas.
It doesn't stop.
We'll be out there.
Be funny to her.
All right, everybody. As always say this uh thank you to our
sponsors athletic greens helix sleep better sleep draft kings and viore clothing uh don't forget to
use our promo code nate uh and yeah as always we love you you're great uh and we will yeah we'll
see you next week all right all right
nateland is produced by nateland productions and by me nate bargetzi and my wife laura
recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media.
Thanks for tuning in.
Be sure to catch us next week
on the Nateland Podcast.