The Nateland Podcast - 135: #135 Reality Shows featuring Jon Reep

Episode Date: February 8, 2023

Dusty is out of town so the guys are rejoined by their good friend and fellow comedian Jon Reep. This week's topic is reality shows so the guys look at reality show villains, debate which celebrity has become the most famous from a reality show, and Jon shares some behind the scenes moments from the year he won Last Comic Standing.  Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail] ZocDoc - Zocdoc.com/Nate ·      Go to Zocdoc.com/NATE and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours. ·      That’s ZOCDOC.com/NATE.  Better Help - BetterHelp.com/Nate ●      If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. ●      Visit BetterHelp.com/Nate today to get 10% off your first month. ●      That is BetterHELP.com/Nate. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.  Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/Nate and get on your way to being your best self.  Athletic Greens - AthleticGreens.com/nate If you’re looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/nate. That’s athleticgreens.com/nate. Check it out.  Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code NATELAND New customers can bet FIVE DOLLARS on the NFL and get TWO HUNDRED IN FREE BETS INSTANTLY. Only at DraftKings Sportsbook with code NATELAND.  Minimum age and eligibility restrictions apply.  Gambling Problem? Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MD/MI/NJ/PA/TN/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/KS/NH), 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), visit OPGR.org (OR), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/KS/LA(select parishes)/MD/MI /NJ/ NY/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. VOID IN OH/ONT. Eligibility restrictions apply. Free bets: Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 bet. $200 issued as free bets that expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded.  See terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com/footballterms. No Sweat: Valid 1 offer per customer per day of NFL 2023 Wild Card Round. Opt in req each day. First bet must lose after opting in. NFL bets only. Paid as one (1) free bet based on amount of initial losing bet. Max $10 free bet awarded. Free bets expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded. See terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com/footballterms.

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Sitting here with me, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, and a younger Dusty Slate. That's right. John Reap. Ginger Dusty. Yes. Today's episode of the Nate Land Podcast is brought to you by ZocDoc, BetterHelp, Athletic Greens, and DraftKings. Athletic Greens and DraftKings. Sounds good.

Welcome, everybody. Yeah, if you're listening to this, we've pre-recorded it. I believe this is the first episode you've been back since your special came out. And it did not go as planned. No, that one joke. Do you want to address the controversy? Yeah. To the Muslim community.

Yeah. Fill me in. I know. It'll be interesting to see. So my special comes out. It came out. By then, it's January 31st. All right, because we're retroactively yes

gotcha yes we had to uh yeah we had to do this one because we're uh i i'm i don't know where i'm at you missed last week's episode i missed like yes yes missed last week's episode uh and then yeah i'm just on i'm somewhere you somewhere. You know, I'm not here. If only you had a website where people could look. Yeah. I'll be in Vegas this weekend. It's probably Super Bowl weekend this weekend. Ooh, let's make a prediction. See if you're right.

Yeah, let's see. I say Titans. Titans come back. Titans, Panthers. Right? Yeah. Let's go crazy. Titans, Panthers. Right? Yeah. Let's go crazy and let's see. Bills, Giants, but the Bills win.

Well, who did the Bills play when they lost? They lost four in a row. They lose to the Giants and Cowboys. Oh, they lost to the Giants in the first one. Yeah. Cowboys twice. I know that much. I think three times, right?

Probably. I know at least two, maybe three. But I think the Giants was one first one. Yeah. Cowboys twice. I know that much. I think three times, right? Probably. I know at least two, maybe three. But I think the Giants was one of them. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to say Bills. Oh, that would be. I would love to see a Bills-Cowboys.

You're going to see their reunion of something. Yeah. And so do I want to say the Giants or the Cowboys? I'm going to say Bills-Cowboys, actually. And the Bills win. I like it. Yeah. That would be – the NFL would love for that to happen.

Oh, yeah. Think of that story, the rivalry, the history of all that. Well, they probably already rigged it to end up there. Yeah. Probably already got the script written. I'm reading off paper. Uh-huh. Oh, it's the Bill's Cowboys.

Look at that. Bill's lose again. Yeah. Wow. Bummer. again. Yeah. Wow. Bummer. Wow. Off the – yeah, still field goal problems. Oh, my gosh.

Did you see that Cowboys game? Yeah. He missed five field goals. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. Has that ever happened?

Extra points. Yeah, I'm sorry. Not even field goals. Extra points. Yeah. Did they even attempt to kick a field goal in that game? No, but he made the last one. He did.

Okay. It's funny they didn't show it. Yes, they were talking. It went right through the uprights right when it switched to the – There's a bunch of that when you watch football. It's like, I mean, they just come back so late, and they're already started. You're like, what are y'all doing?

Yeah. Is it not fixed program? Is that the game important enough? Yeah. And it's just like, oh, forgot everybody. Oh, yeah. You're watching this sport thing that we're talking about. Yeah.

And usually you don't care about extra point, but when you've missed four in a row or whatever, you kind of want to see it. I mean, it became the only thing that you wanted to see. The story of the night, yeah. It became the best part of that game. Yeah. Yeah, I wanted to see it. I mean, it became the only thing that you wanted to see. The story of the night, yeah. It became the best part of that game. Yeah. Yeah, I wanted to see it.

So, yeah, so here we are. So we might as well just start with some comments, right? Sure. Yeah. Since we've been, you know, who knows what's going on by the time this happens. Nick Alexander, happiest part of my Wednesday. Hello, folks. Saddest part of my Wednesday. Hello, folks. Saddest part of my Wednesday. That's probably a good place to

stop. That is. That's a good place to stop right there. Yeah, we're done. That's it. Sean, thanks for coming on. I should have ended with Nick. Nick Alexander, two first names. Last name. Alexander, I guess

he's last. He spells Nick without the K, N-I-C. Sounds like a weird basketball conference. Yeah. Oh, the Nick. Yeah, he's in the N-I-C. Yeah, he's in the N-I-C. It does sound like it. He didn't make it to the A-C.

That's when you don't make the N-I-T. You got to play in the N-I-C. Kate the Great, tired mom of three three soon to be four here I love checking early on Wednesday mornings to watch the newest episode it gives me the right amount of laughter

and conspiracy theories to start out my day before homeschooling my children if my kids grow up doubting the curvature of the earth I'll just blame you guys

give it up folks I like that probably get some more if you're homeschooled you know you get a little bit of your mom's opinion oh yeah yeah and that's probably do you think her kids have to color kate the great maybe yeah maybe that's part of the curriculum isn't it yeah i like that there's a lot of it's you know probably a lot of lessons like well well you know, probably a lot of lessons like, well, you know, they did it just the same way. You know, your dad doesn't answer the phone.

And you're like, all right, here we go. Here we go. And the teacher's gone off the rails. Michael Tonelli. Tonelli. Tonelli. Tonelli. Oh, yeah.

Michael Tonelli. My great uncle Mario Tonelli was an All-American Notre Dame fullback. He was also a POW in Japan for five years. Japanese soldiers stole his Notre Dame National Championship ring, but a Japanese officer got the ring back for him because he went to USC and saw my uncle play. That ring is still in my family today. This is why I feel the Notre Dame-USC rivalry is one of the best.

It transcended a world war. Wow. That's amazing. That's pretty cool. Wow. I'd like to see this ring. Michael Toninelli. Send a picture of it into the podcast.

Yeah. What a resume, huh? All-American Notre Dame fullback and then a war hero. Yeah. It's kind of like that scene from Pulp Fiction, this watch. Well, I've had my grandfather for five years. Remember that scene? No, I don't know.

I haven't seen it. You ever seen Pulp Fiction? Oh, no, Nate. Well, he didn't do that, but he did say he buried the ring in a metal soap dish beneath his prison barracks. Yeah. Oh, that's better than your butt. Yeah. Wow.

He took it off. That's not when he gets, well, when you get captured, I'm sure you probably. Wow. That's pretty cool. The first thing you do is just go, come on, get rid of this jewelry. The fact that he wore it is. Yeah, that's true. I mean.

Some people would swallow it. You know, back in the day, they say, you know, a lot of the Jews that were captured or whatever would swallow their jewelry. Oh, wow. Yeah. And then just hopefully one day when it comes out, this world will be over with. I'll be free. Yeah. You know?

Man. I mean, just the stuff these guys had to go through. It's crazy. Just to be your – you win a championship, you know, goes and plays a professional. The Chicago Cardinals. Yeah. Wow. Was that your favorite team growing up?

Hey, John, I was saying, hey, so, hey, I got somebody on my side. Yeah, they were good. Were they one year? Oh, yeah. That was crazy. That was crazy. 108, scored 108 points that one. Yeah.

This one had five quarters. Yeah, just let them keep it going. But, like, having it go to war, man, I mean, that's just such a – it puts stuff in perspective, which I talk about, like, when you see athletes today, if there's, like, any complaining, you're like, yeah, they went to war, man. And, like, the main ones. Yeah, we talked about, like, Ted Williams going to war war, man. And like the main ones. Yeah, we talked about like Ted Williams going to war.

That's like Steph Curry going to Iraq. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. Well, speaking of Cardinals, there was the, what's the guy's name that played for the Cardinals that, oh, God, he went to war. Like right after 9-11.

Pat Tillman. Tillman. Yeah. Yeah. And then they got killed in friendly fire. I right after 9-11. Pat Tillman. Tillman. Yeah. Yeah. And then he got killed in friendly fire. That's crazy. That's tough. But that's a cardinal.

Yeah. Full circle. Yeah, there we go. Full circle. I connect the dots. Yeah. That's why we brought you in. It's a dot collector.

It's a dot collector. Collector? Collector. I collect them, and then I connect them. Back in our day, we had to, right? Yeah, we didn't have these dots just lying around. You had to go out and find the dots. Then you got to figure out, well, how do we put these together?

That's right. You guys are born with dots now. Yeah, I'm full of them. Cam. This is by Cam. Nate, I feel your pain with the refilled Fiji water bottle. My wife would also not change a thing if we won a billion dollars. In 15 years, she has never given me a whole paper towel.

She takes one off the roll, tears it in half or smaller, and gives me that. If she uses one just to dry a clean dish, she hangs it to dry. Oh, that's insane. I love that she's not into material things and i get it neither of us grew up with money but for the love of god can i get more than a posted note when i'm eating hot wings that's a pretty good he wrote that out as a uh it's a bit that's a bit yeah even the rhythm yeah can i get more than a posted note when i'm eating hot wings uh yeah yeah yeah my wife's that's the same i guess the counter that is get your own paper towel well i don't know what the point of a wife is then

i love paper towels i use paper towels all the time for everything i should probably not use as much as i do are Are you... I should probably just grab a wash rag for stuff. But it's for everything. Is yours like a... Your house is like a Hooters? Yeah. We have that. Yeah.

Next to the sink. The one that goes on the stick. It just sets up that way. Back in the day, you had the one that would go horizontal. But we got the stick. We've got one out in the sunroom also on a stick. Yeah. Yeah, I'm addicted to those things.

But I don't like the ones that when you pull it off, I expect it to be about this big, like a piece of paper. Yeah. Then they've got the ones that have the half tear. He's saying she takes the half tear, tears that? It would have been a giant day for her when she found out they started doing half tears. I mean, it was – Yeah, they changed the perforation. Yeah.

She was like, oh, man, what a day this is. Yeah, I use a towel. But that's me. As for like when I eat and stuff. But that's because I'm weird oh use like a bath towel no i use a like a uh i could use a dish rag or like uh i'm not into like because it's like napkins a lot of i have a weird thing where like i talked about if the napkin's not thick enough and it sticks to you that's that's trash right a lot of that, if you're staying in a hotel and the coffee area and they have the little

packs, the Splenda, that napkin in there is the worst napkin that exists on the planet. So I can't trust those napkins. And if I got food and I'm eating it in my room, I use the bath mat. That's my napkin. The bath mat? The one that you put your feet on. I'm sorry, yeah, what do you call it? Yeah, the one that you lay in front of the shower and stuff like that.

Or a towel or a wash rag. Or, you know, a lot of times it's like the hand towel. I put that on and I just take my clothes off and I sit there and I eat like rotisserie chicken naked with this towel on me. Like Kramer, Kenny Rogers' rotisserie. And then I wipe it off and it's, and I put that in the shower.

I'm thinking, if someone just visits, comes in here and sees all these dark brown orange stains. It's like a mercy. A washcloth in the shower. Yeah. Like, what's wrong with that guy? Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, you can't trust those hotel napkins.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I use a hand towel. Yeah. That works. It's efficient. Then you've't trust those hotel napkins. Yeah, yeah. I use a hand towel. Yeah. That works. It's efficient. Then you got to wash it, though. But I feel like if it's a hotel and it's not mine, I don't have to worry about it.

Oh, okay. Yeah. The maid will get that. Yeah. You asked to wash it. Yeah. You throw it in her face when you're leaving. Take care of this for me.

Take that with you, please. Katie Fuller. We have the ultimate. Is that? What's Sarah Fuller? Yeah. uh katie fuller we have the ultimate uh uh is that what's sarah full yeah i thought that too for a second katie fuller we have the ultimate running dead joke in my family my entire family when eating our meals waits for the first person to say i'm full then it is a mad rush to be the first person to say i'm fuller it has been been so ingrained that it's like a reflex now when you hear, I'm full, to shout, I'm fuller. I've said it when meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time.

Work dinners, it's every meal. My friends all say I'm stuffed to avoid the inevitable. It's funny. That's fun. Yeah. If that's your last name, I guess over time, it probably comes and goes. It's funny the first time you hear it, but then if that's your whole life. We had a previous commenter named Fuller, and we commented about how you can't,

you got to be a certain weight if that's your name. Yeah. Or you're just going to be hearing all the time, oh, are you Fuller? Yeah. And she's just saying, yep, that's accurate. Yeah, you're probably doing it that they don't even realize that they're doing it. They just say, I'm full. I'm fuller.

And it just, yeah, it's just like, that's what she said. Yeah. I'm getting tired of that, too, by the way. A lot of that's happening. What? That's what she said. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It's happening a lot. More so than when it did the first time. The Office took it back. Office took it back. And now that they redid The Office on Netflix, it's coming back in a third or fourth wave. Well, it's the kids that are watching The Office for the first time.

Right. And they think it's hilarious. Yeah, they think it's hilarious. The Office is hilarious, but that's what she said. It's only funny when you're doing it if Steve Carell's doing it. Yes. And if you said that's what she said for the fourth time in the same day, the same person, it's like, it's enough. You've got to open her.

I have somebody that goes, she says a lot, doesn't she? Yeah. Tell her to shut up. Sandra Nijen. Do you know how to say it? I don't. Win. Win.

Oh, wow. Win. Do you know? I was a high school guy with that same spelling. Yeah. Oh, so you knew how to say it. I did. I was waiting to see how you guys were doing.

I believe it's Vietnamese. Oh. You better hope so. She's like, I'm from Arizona. I'm sorry. When the internet was born back in my preteen days, my parents paid for an AOL dial-up plan. Last year, I found out that my parents were still paying $30 a month for AOL.

They are both highly intelligent people. We were convinced that they would lose access to their email services if they cancel. I could see me thinking that. Right. And do they still use that email? She did. There was more. She said, yeah, they all still have it.

Yeah. So what is it they're wasting their money on if they're still using that email and if they're still using not the dial-up service, but maybe a Wi-Fi plan? I don't know what plans AOL. Do they even exist? Yeah. A surprising amount of people still use AOL. Okay.

Because there's some cities where that's the only way you can get internet still. Dial-up? Yeah. Really? Like they don't have wi-fi or the cable yeah but that's like on aol too to be like how are you taking you're just taking money from these people like you don't just go we're not doing that like everything's free right you're saying these cities they have to have it of 2019, so it's a few years ago, but 2 million people,

2.1 million people still use AOL dial-up to connect to the internet. Wow. I forgot who the comedian does this, but here's a quick impression. He takes his hand, cuffs the microphone, and goes, You've got mail. That was the AOL. You would get email from AOL. You've got mail.

It sounded like a weird echoey type. Oh, yeah. I remember that. I know I got works for me. I think you're just trying new jokes out. I started with not me, some other comedian. You did it pretty well. Yeah.

I don't know who did it, but if you guys think it's funny, maybe I'll do it tonight. I do that to a joke that I think might not work. That way I can say, I didn't do it. I didn't do it. It's not me. This other guy.

This other guy did it. I know a guy that works with me. He has a net zero email account. Oh, wow. Remember net zero? Yeah. Vaguely. I don't remember net zero.

Yeah, net zero. Yeah. Just how you get free internet, I guess, back in the day. I don't even remember too much about it, but I'm like, wow, I haven't seen a net zero email address in a long time. My first email address was Hotmail. Hotmail. Yep, I had a Hotmail.

Mine might have been AOL. I had a Hotmail. I think I still do. Paying $30 a month for it. He's sitting right here. You got three hot males sitting here. I'm sorry, guys. Now he brings some jokes into this.

It's nice. Jennifer Johnson. I especially love your state I especially love your state shows So I wanted to bring a little gem To the attention from North Carolina The Fort Fisher Hermit Robert Harrell Was my granddaddy's uncle

I love granddaddy I love Saint Grant That's super southern Robert Harrell was my granddaddy's uncle, and although he had a traumatic beginning and an ending, spoiler, he was murdered. Oh, boy. Wow.

The middle is pretty interesting. Although he was a little odd, it's pretty cool that one of my local celebrities is related to me and made such an impact on the lives of the folks on the eastern end of my state. Johnny, familiar with this guy? No. We have to look him up, right?

I looked him up last night. It said at one time he was the second biggest tourist attraction in North Carolina. Shelby. That's not far from me. Shelby's kind of famous for its- So what was it? Oh, he was a hermit. I don't understand what the-

I mean, I lived alone until I was 48, and nobody came to my house. But people would flock to this guy just to see him. Fort Fisher Hermit. So his name is Fort Fisher. What's the Fort Fisher part of this? I don't know. So he died. He hung out in Fort Fisher State Recreation Area.

That's where he ended up dying. So Fort Fisher is a place. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It says the official cause of death given is a heart attack, but I guess he died under a mysterious... I mean, he was 79. Yeah.

That's pretty good as hermit lives go. The coroner pronounced the cause of death as a heart attack, yet local rumors suggested Harold may have been killed after a violent attack by a group of three men, a fisherman alleging that he saw them speeding away in a car. Local rumors suggested Harold may have been killed after a violent attack by a group of three men, a fisherman alleging that he saw them speeding away in a car. However, there was no autopsy and the case was closed as a natural death. But she's family.

I mean, that's, yeah, she believed. I mean, that's the stuff, though, that's like, they just go, they don't want to do it. I love the word. I mean, how do you, you know, like it's like, well, I saw three guys and they go. He was a hermit, dude. Yeah. Hermit. When's the last time you've heard hermit as like instead of homeless or, you know, like a. Well, hermit feels like a choice.

I don't know. I haven't heard that word in a long time. Well, hermit, you have a home. You just don't hang out with anybody. I mean, he didn't, I guess. But I think of a hermit as a guy who lives in his house and doesn't see anybody. I mean, basically me until I was 48. Well, I've heard of a hermit crab.

I know what that is. Yes. And that's just your own shell, I guess, maybe where the term comes from. But I haven't heard that term used on a human being in forever. Yeah, I mean, the guy's a Wikipedia. Who else was a hermit? It's just a person who lives in seclusion. That's the technical definition.

So you can have a house and be a hermit. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's, what's the, a hoarder. Would a hoarder be considered, I guess a hoarder is hoard stuff, but if you're a hoarder, you're probably by yourself. Right. They often go hand in hand.

Yeah. Throw some cats in there. Cats. Yeah. Some dead cats. Yeah. Yeah. They just forget about them.

They get buried alive. I mean, they said there was a movie or a documentary about him voiced by Oh, that sounds awesome. I'm going to look this up.

Barry Cross right there. Or Barry Corbin. And that's... I know him. I mean, he's been in a lot of stuff. I don't know him, but... You know who he is. But he was in No Country for Old Men,

and he was a hermit who had a bunch of cats. Fort Fisher. Oh, he was the dad? He was... He was What's-His-Face's dad? Tommy Lee Jones? Yeah. I don't think that was his dad, was it?

Yeah, I think so. I think Tommy Lee Jones' dad died. I think it was his uncle because he was telling him some stories about his dad or something like that. Yeah, yeah. Oh, and he played a hermit. Huh. That's interesting. Ethan Griggs.

I'm 27 years old and just learned that library is pronounced library. I've pronounced it library literally my entire life. This makes me wonder if Nate is the same way. Library. Yeah. Library. Library.

I think it's like, depends on how you catch me. Believe it or not, probably doesn't come up too often. Yeah. It's usually tell me to, they go, so drive past,

past the library. Yeah. I think I say, it depends on, I think I could say library if you're, but it looks like I'm trying. Boom. I think I was raised with, I didn't know either, library. You just said library. Library. When I found out it was pronounced that way, it's almost like, oh,

now I have to go out of my way to prove that I know how it's spelled by changing the way I talk. So library. Library. Library. Sounds weird. Library. This should just change to library. What did you?

Y'all had a room in your house. The study? The study. Or the library. Yeah. Well, mom, I'm going to study. Or the library. Yeah. Well, mom, I'm going to go to the library. Adam J. Rogers, as a Presbyterian pastor, my mind is always on the hunt for new sermon material,

and it's difficult to switch it off. Do you and the rest of the Nathanael crew ever feel that way, like you're constantly hunting for the next bit of material for the next show? Yeah. You've got mail. There it is. There it is.

Rick Rogers, I believe is his name. Yeah. I'm trying to write new stuff now. I might have thought of two things this morning, which was nice. It's a nice start to the day where you're like, all right. That's something there. Do y'all know right away when something's going to be a good bit? Or how many of your bits are like, this could go either way.

This could be 50-50. This might be bad. This might be good. I think if I know, I think what I thought of this morning, I thought both were going to be good. Then I thought of it a little longer and i was like one i know will work the other one i think i i can make it work but they all fit yeah but they both fit into i already i mean i wrote them down were you waking up when you thought of uh one

like i mean uh i don't want to say it but it's uh now one's one's very funny and will work and the other one is uh does one of them is one of them's its own joke and one is a thing that will go in with another joke gotcha okay does it hit you like like is it a uh just as a topic or as a whole thing that played out in your brain? One's a topic. And then the other is just an add-on. I talk about my wife being cheap because she filled that Fiji water, the thing that he talked about. And so it's just like a little add.

I had something this morning that I was like, oh, I bet I can say this. And that one's not going to be its own kind of thing. That's going to be just kind of a little ad. So it's not like it's that much. But it makes the story or the thing I'm talking about more colorful. But I think I know more now. I can tell like, yeah, yeah, that will be good. And that just comes with time probably as you understand your voice and everything. I mean, you know, Louis C.K. said it where he said, you know, it's like you just know, like, yeah, that's funny.

And you can tell. I mean, I've never been one to go just any thought, just be like, let me go try it and see. Like, I mean, I think you do kind of know. Like everything that you're going to take up there, you're like, yeah, I think that's funny. I think that's going to work. I mean, there's now, because I've had to build, I'm trying to build this hour and it's under such a time restraint

to have to build it. I've tried a couple things and, you know, and they were like, okay. And then it was like, it's like, I just don't feel I can get behind it. You just trust yourself and you go like, I know I can't, I'm not selling this thing. So I don't really believe in it as much as I do think it's funny, but I'm not, I can tell that I'm not going to. If I have any hesitation with it. So if I feel like if I think of something and then I feel like some hesitation, then I'm like, I'm never going to be able to really force it. I would be forcing it.

And so either I got to find the way to get rid of the hesitation. Sometimes the hesitation comes from just how you're going to present it. I don't know how to present this. So that's where the hesitation comes from. Like you could be like, it's funny, but I don't know how to get into it. And so if I can't get into it, then I'm not going to do it. And so I'll either sometimes be like, yeah, it's funny. I'll just have to sit on it and know it's there.

be like yeah it's funny i'll just have to sit on it and know it's there and then if i can find some way to get into it uh you know i have a story that i cut out of the special that i was touring with that i stood uh about owning an alligator which i have uh and always felt like out of nowhere. And so I had enough time that I was able to cut all this stuff from this special that I'm now doing in the new hour, because that's how a lot of this works, is you can just, you really look at retired material as special material. That's the material that needs to be retired. And the other stuff, it can be there, and then it kind of goes and changes. And so the alligator thing just always felt very forced to me,

and I don't know how to get it in. I think about that a lot. I think about how do I get this joke in? How do I get what's – I was thinking about that this morning too. It's like I just kind of – and I am. I wake up and I'm just thinking about it all day. And I go pee in the middle of the night. If I'm up, my brain is just like – I'm thinking of every moment I'm doing

and just trying to find something. I mean, I'm on a panic of search. But it's the alligator thing. I got to – it's just I got to – it's like how do I get into it that doesn't feel like I'm trying to force this story. Cause it's like, you know, and I would maybe still do the story the same way. It just doesn't feel like it fits. Right.

And it just, so I have to find a way to like, you know, and I try, I still try. I tried it this past weekend or like, or I try to, you know, I do it every show and I just try to be like, I had one show where I was like, ah, that might be the way to get into it. But it's, it's a matter of that's, that's how. What about just going, oh, I just thought of this. And then start. Yeah.

No, I mean, you can do, you can. You can fake a crowd work. Like what'd you say? Alligator. Was that an alligator on your shirt? Yeah. Where'd you get that? That reminds me.

Check this out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can definitely do that. I think it takes away from the conversational of your act. Sure. Yeah, if you've got like a theme going, right?

If you're like, okay, I want this theme to be all about this. Yes. And for some reason you got the alligator thing. Yeah. And you know it's good. How do you make it work? Yeah. That's the hard part sometimes is like, well, how do I get into this?

You got to blend it in. And you almost got to mix it up enough in your own mind that you don't feel like you're telling the same alligator story or whatever the story is. So it's like, if I could find find if I could think of a new like alligator kind of thing that's not about me owning one then I could get into it and it feels like so it's like I'm not trying to I'm basically not trying to fit'm doing into the, then I can go, I also did,

you know, I also now, you know, like a way to, but then sometimes it, it might end up feeling like you're always feel like that. And you feel like you're forcing it. You have a lot of jokes that are really funny and you'll stop telling them.

And I'll say, why'd you stop telling it? And you say, I just didn't really enjoy telling it. Yeah. And that's how it ends up in my act. Google it. It's out there forever.

You'll find it. I put it like the. So you're not going to tell that. You're probably not going to tell that. Okay. The luggage that you go buy that's in Alabama. Yeah. Unclaimed baggage.

Unclaimed baggage. Yeah. Okay. Air Force is that? No, it's just a store. Scottsboro, Alabama has a store for unclaimed baggage. Okay. Yeah.

All right. I'm trying to think of one airport. I'm trying to think of one of my jokes. Bates walks around and just. Yeah. Right. It's that one at the very top. Yeah.

Yeah. You just got to go off like what you, you know, you can tell in your act where you're, what part you're not looking forward to get to. And the goal is to be like, well, I want to be excited about all of it. And I want to be excited to get to all of it. And that's hard to find an hour straight that you're excited. Do you feel that over time, though, you've been doing this a long time now, when an idea or topic or a thought comes to you, you'll know pretty quick.

Quicker now than when you started. Oh, yeah. Like, oh, yeah, that's going to be a bit. Yeah, the thing I thought of this morning, I was like, yeah, it's down. I need to just say it. And then once I say it, I'll say it once. And then I'll, and once it, I'm once it, I'm confirmed that it gets the last, that, you know, and, and as long as I have an out. So that's the other, like, if you have an out to it, you're, I'm pretty good.

And that's the part where I'm at now where like, I don't feel like I have a new closer. And if I have a closer then i'm okay then like in for the whole set i can uh i can i'll be okay because then i then you're like i there's a there's a way there's a place to go and it's just a matter of your time then because it's like all right am i going to get to that closer at 40 minutes or am i can i get to that closer at an minutes or can I get to that closer at an hour, 10 minutes? So it's just a matter of like, then you're just kind of filling in and you feel, oh, I got a good run I can close on. And I know the last 20 minutes is going to be like, bang, bang, bang. And then you're just placing it. But I think you do know. Well, this guy, he's looking for a new sermon. He's a pastor.

So that's like, what, every week? It's every week. He's looking for something. Yeah. It's got to be. We can't. I mean, I couldn't do that every week. I mean, I'll think of something and be like, I'll give that a couple months.

How long is a Presbyterian sermon, you think? I mean, 40 minutes. I would say 30 tops. 30 minutes. Yeah, Catholic homily I would say 30 times. Catholic homily is like 10 minutes tops. They just got to write a new 10 every week. New 10 every week. And it doesn't have to be funny. No.

I'd prefer you not be interesting or funny. Just say it. Jesus was good. Be Jesus. Read some scripture. Yeah Jesus. All right. Read some scripture. Yeah, you go read.

But you got to find, for them, that's the hard part is they would have to find, what are you getting into? I mean, his email was longer. He said that every week he panics, but then he'll get out there in the world and stuff happens, and he'll find it. And just like, it's kind of like comics yeah that's the thing so interesting so it's so open-ended you can just talk about whatever you want every sunday yeah yeah well it depends i mean i guess it what faith you catholic

church the the readings are predetermined every week so they're like given source material oh yeah so they don't even have to come up with their own ideas. Baptists, not like that at all. It's like we're just, this Sunday, you don't know. It's going to be something related to the Bible. Yeah. And he'll spin it into his world and then your world and then that's it. Oh, that's a lot more pressure.

But it's not like a predetermined thing, yeah. Oh, wow. Well, yeah, I'm sure that, yeah, it's got to be like, you know, today I had a delivery come and the guy needed my help, you know, or something. And then he's like, and it reminded me of, and then it reminds you, you're basically finding a way to get in. Yeah. And you're just talking.

Doing exactly what you're trying to do for your act. Yeah. Exactly. I mean, it's exactly that. And so it's, yeah, it's like going out and being in the world, going out and doing stuff. Can't be a hermit. You got to get out there.

Can't be a hermit. You got to go out and feel inspired. Connecting the dots. Or collecting them. Collecting, connecting. You got to collect them to connect them. And so, yeah, you do. John 3.16.

You got to do exactly what that guy is saying do. Yeah. Is you got to walk around. Look for inspiration. Something that makes you just, you know. Because you can sit and wait, just hope for the random to pop up. Yeah. But it's just not going to.

I am that way. Things need to happen in my life for me to want to go talk about it. I'm not like the kind of guy, like, here's what happened in the news, and then I weigh in on that. I can't. I mean, I'll do some of that on the podcast, but I won't do that stand-up. For me, to make it funny in the real world, it's almost like it has to be real to me in my life.

Yes. Yeah, you have to be able to believe it. There has to be. I've lived it, experienced it on a, you know, first-hand level kind of a thing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's the... That's like when someone gives you a comic, gives you a tag, or they'd say, what about this?

And it's usually pretty hard, because you're like, I'm not going to say that. I don't know how to, like, get behind it. But then some stuff you can. Yeah. You know, it's like you got to just, yeah, you got to find it. Eight. Sam Galanos. Hello from sunny Melbourne, Australia.

Just wanted to write and say how much I love your podcast. I found you all I found you all a few months back and ever since I've started saying hey bear every time I enter a meeting at work or get home after a long day it's weird to say this in Australia as we don't have bears in the bush I know you're Americans call koalas a bear, which is bizarre as they are actually marsupials. I've never understood this. Have you been to Australia? No, me either.

I would love to go. Oh, yeah. He's a world traveler. You've been. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, Lee. Can you read that in an Australian accent?

Can you do an accent? Hello. Can you do accents, Brian? No. I'm the worst at accents. You can't do like a generic British, like chimney sweeper? Nope. Yeah.

I've tried. Australia. Australia. I bet you could. Kind of. You're good at it. I'm serious. No, no, no.

But I want to hear the bad one. I've never even tried, but I know I couldn't do it. Australia, mate. Down under. Golly. Hello from sunny Melbourne, Australia. Just wanted to write you and say how much I love your pop. No, it's English.

English. That's pretty good. I was doing English, though. Yeah. Well, they're pretty similar. Yeah. It was a British penal colony. That's right. Australia was? British penal colony. That's right.

Australia was? Uh-huh. What does penal mean? It's where they dump people. Prisoners. It was like a giant prison. Oh, really? Yeah.

They just dump them out there and go, y'all deal with yourselves. Like that space trash. Just take it there. Yeah. That's crazy. And so they just were like, you got to go live down there? That's a pretty far way to shovel. Right.

How do they find it? England's a small island, you know? There's not a lot of room over there. I know, but there's a bunch of room near them. They should have switched it. They should have just, because Australia's bigger and more sunny and nicer. We'll move there. Yeah, you stay here in England.

Smaller island where it rains'll move there. Yeah, you stay here in England. Smaller island where it rains all the time. Yeah. It will go to Australia. Paradise. Yeah. That would make more sense. Yeah, they should have flipped that. Flipped the script. They probably got so much going on over in England already. A lot of people back and forth.

Yeah, they're like, it's just too much to pack. Between 1788 and 1868, about 162,000 convicts were transported from Britain and Ireland to various penal colonies in Australia. Also, I believe Georgia, the state of Georgia, was a penal colony in America. So they'd dump them over here, too. Really? Yeah.

I mean, that's pretty crazy. So Australia, were people already, I guess, at Australia? Aboriginal? Yeah. I mean, that's pretty crazy. So Australia, were people already, I guess, at Australia? Aborigines. Aborigines, yeah. They were indigenous people here for sure. And then, yeah. I feel like we don't talk about, no one talks about the indigenous people. Like it's all us talking about like how everything got started i mean i know

people talk about the land over here but even everywhere yeah we don't ever like dive in to go well what about them more what was the actual main one you know first indigenous where yeah africa australia how'd they get over there yeah Yeah. And it was like, Pangea. Yeah. I feel like it's just a lot. Everybody goes, that's just, it's a bigger conversation. And then no one, and then we just go, okay. We don't all have the facts.

Why are we going down this road? You don't know, and I don't know. I mean, I think scientists say Africa's where it started, and then it just spread from there. But how do you, yeah, you get to Australia. Well, they said it was Pangea, right? Pangea was like one gigantic continent. But I think that was before even any type of a human.

Right. Again, I don't know. I don't have the facts on this. Yeah, just start floating away. And I'll show you. Hey, you look further away. He goes a little bit farther away. Just waving.

Yeah. Just moving. Is it just me or are we just a little bit further apart? You go to bed that night and you're like, wait a second. Yeah. Yeah. Where are you at? What are you doing all the way over there?

What are you doing with those little koala thingies? Yeah. What is that, koala bear? He goes, what? It's a rat. What are you doing with that sloth thingy? Yeah. It's a marsupial.

No, it's a bear. I do think Australia to do with that sloth thingy? Yeah. It's a marsupial. No, it's a bear. I do think Australia has the best animals and stuff like that. Sloth is cool. Koala bears. Kangaroo. Kangaroo is a lot. It's freaking amazing. Yeah.

Thing just bounces around. It's an old star. And they're just like deer. Like they're everywhere. They're like deer. A fun deer. Yeah. But also could kill you.

I know. That's what's fun about it. Our deer is just deer and there you got it's a little fun it's a little hop you're like oh their deer has hands they fight them yeah i mean there's videos of them they a lot of videos yeah i would like to meet a kangaroo one day they also have nashville zoo you can go up there and see them australia really also has really deadly spiders and snakes. That's true.

The most deadly spiders. That's the trade-off. They got the coolest animals and then the ones that'll really. And the snakes, the brown snake, which is either the most deadliest or top. I mean, that one likes to hide in your house and garage and stuff like that. So it's crazy to be like, and here it's like the garden house and garage and stuff like that. So it's crazy to be like, you know, and here it's like, you know, the gardener snakes or the stuff like that. But, I mean, that's the most deadliest snake likes its favorite place is your house. And you just got to be like, you know, you squat there and, like, jump back.

And you're like, oh, that's a snake that will kill you. You're not just on edge all day. I don't know. I would just be thinking about that all the time. Yeah, I think, you know, I'm sure they do. But here's the thing with Australia. Look at the population density map we got pulled up. People live on the West Coast, live on the East Coast.

Just nobody in the middle. That's just nothing out there. Why? Desert. Yeah, it's just desert out there, man. Yeah. And it's a huge state, right? Like, if you look, well, that's what you could do with Canada, I guess.

I don't know. I think the United States and Australia are similar in size. The entire state of Australia is almost the entire state of the country. I'm sorry, I'm just trying to. United States and Australia I think are very similar how big do you think Australia is in your brain

before that like Rhode Island see I would have thought like the size of North Carolina and South Carolina together

but you're saying well there it is it's as big it's similar look how huge it is wow that is gigantic so

and they gave that to prisoners yeah idiots well I mean i know but they're no one you can only live on yeah yeah no they go well we have the prisoners are like jokes on you suckers and then they go and like we can only live at like this one corner look at all this lava rock we get yeah if you're you're listening, I mean, if you drop Australia on top of the United States, it stretches from like Vegas all the way to almost D.C. Yeah, but Texas is still bigger than all of it.

All of Europe. Yeah, all of Europe. Yeah, that's crazy. I had no idea it was that big. Yeah. Well, it's like if you're from Australia, then you're just like, yeah that's you know that's crazy I had no idea it was that big yeah well it's like if you're from Australia then you're just like

you could be like someone was in prison yeah at some point in your family's history yeah probably so did something

and it got shipped there's a lot of little stuff going on over Australia a lot of a lot of shady stuff a lot of shady stuff you go again once you land in Australia

you go I don't trust anybody but there's a lot of hot people again. Once you land in Australia, you go, I don't trust anybody. But there's a lot of hot people. You know there's people that when they land, they go, don't trust. This whole place got started. I think they do claim that, though. They have a more rebellious attitude there because of their ancestors. Yeah. What do they call rednecks over there in Australia?

They always have their own terms for the rednecks in that area. I feel like Australia in that area. I feel like Australia is that anyway. We call it a bogan. Bogan. Oh, I like that. Bogan sounds cool. Or a westie.

What's a westie? Westies used in cities and towns across Australia. Okay. That doesn't be a bogan. A bogan sounds fun. It sounds like a bad golf swing. Yeah. It be a bogan. A bogan sounds fun. It sounds like a bad golf swing. Yeah. It's a bogan. Bogan.

Date with the bogan today. Market with the bogan. A bogan is Australian slang for a person whose speech, clothing, attitude, and behavior are considered unrefined or unsophisticated. Ah, yes. It can be pejorative or self-deprecating. Yeah. Sounds like it i had heard the mullet is like you know how it comes and goes lately a lot yeah but over there it's like

it it has more meaning and they are really into the mullets more so than we are here in America. Yeah, Cam Smith, a golfer. Make sure his name's Cam Smith. There's two Cams. He is a mullet. Yeah, Cam Smith. Yeah. Yeah, he is a big mullet. Did you ever have one, Dave?

Australia, no. Never, not once. I had a rat tail once when I was little. Okay, how little? I like that. Huh? A couple years ago. No, it was, you know, I don't know, 12 or something. Like a little.

Yeah, that's about it. How long did you keep it? One year? Yeah, yeah. Not long. I don't think it was high school. I might have been 10 or 9 or something. Yeah, I've seen kids with rat tails.

Don't see many adults with a rat tail. If you see one at all, it's on a kid, right? Yeah. Not a full-grown 82-year-old lady with a rat tail. No. Very rare. Very rare. I've been seeing a lot more older people with tattoos.

Yeah, that's bound to happen. Because I feel like you never, but now the first group of tattoos are those people are coming. That are like really tatted up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not like Hawaii or something. Like a military one on his arm.

Yeah, but not even that. But I'm talking about about just where it's the you know not that where it's like you've seen that entire tribal where it's like a military

yeah tribal or military or like not that kind of tattooing barbed wire around yeah but now like the tattoos that are like more

your what is it the more not like a sleeve necessarily well I think the barbed wire around the arm was the first one that What is it? The more Not like a sleeve Necessarily Well I think the barbed wire Around the arm Was the first one

That a lot of people Got the same one of Yeah You want to show us yours? I do have two I got one right here And one right here You want to see this?

What is that one? Yeah what does that say? Alright you guys love this Looks like a Grim Reaper doing stand up comedy It's the Grim Reaper. The Grim Reaper. He's smiling.

Show. The Grim Reaper. It's actually a Banksy. You know who Banksy is? Yeah. Yeah, we just talked about him. So there's a Banksy of something similar to this, and I just put a mic in his hand, call him the Grim Reaper.

Yeah, so it's not exactly oh i like that right just like that one right there banksy see look at that oh that is cool yeah bang bang grin reaper yeah let people know what's up yeah have that forever man you'll die laughing yeah that's what i mean perfect timing for talking about old people having tattoos. My brother's got one he's embarrassed of. When he went to college for the first time, he went to Western Carolina, and he joined a fraternity because he didn't know anybody. Yeah.

I was like, I didn't know anybody. I just had to make friends. I joined a fraternity. And he got the Delta Sigma Phi right next to his crotch, right next to his junk. of like oh is that every time you look at that you can think of your boys that's nice i get it all the time yeah yeah why would you put it there he's trying to hide it from mom and dad you know yeah yeah my friend at college had the the jump man logo he got it tattooed on his rear end jump man the jump man like michael jordan yeah and still on i think he regretted it pretty quickly because it was funny it was really funny and then you're

like oh i'm gonna like now it's there yeah forever yeah it used to be a thing people get drunk and get a tattoo now it's thought out it's uh people have their whole body mapped out guy went to high school with went to myrtle Beach when he turned 18, got drunk, and got a Tasmanian devil drinking a beer. Party animal, huh? That's you. Now he's like 52. He's got like eight daughters.

Still got the Tasmanian reminding, hey, your dad was a party animal. Yeah. Tasmanian devil. Well, any reputable tattoo artist will not let you get one if you're drunk now. Right. I think that time has kind of come and gone. I think you're right. Because they'll know.

They can be sued. They can be in a lot of trouble if they do that. They should. I bet you're going to have the fake tattoos are going to come more and more. You know, like are the ones that can hannah makeup tattoos yeah yeah like yeah where it's like it's gonna go away like you can do it and it goes away because you're just like oh like disappearing ink yeah yeah because then you could be like i'll just try it and then i don't need to you know have this forever. Something embarrassing? Yeah. Sorry.

You could do one, you know, like be like, do they have, like eventually just be like, I got one where it's like going to last a year. And then you're like, all right, that's it. I think it's a good idea. Yeah. So when I got divorced, I went to Hawaii with a friend of mine. I don't think I knew you. When were you married?

I was married, let's see here, season five, 2007. That's how I do it. Everything revolves around Last Comic Send. Yeah. I got married in 2007. What does anything do with the divorce? 2007, got divorced, 2013. So right when I got divorced, I was like, because we got married in Hawaii.

I'm like, I'm going to go back to Hawaii and claim the island is mine again. Yeah. You know? And I was like, I'm going to get a tattoo. I had a middle-aged crisis type deal. I was like, I want to get a tattoo, but I don't know what I want. So I thought, well, a good way to find out what looks good on you, get a henna tattoo. Yeah.

So I went to a place that got like three henna tattoos. A gigantic one, too. Like the rock. That was an was an eagle yeah like an eagle it was like you know holding a gun in one hand and a beard you know there's something dumb and american a big gigantic eagle on my chest and i'm like one here one here just because i wanted to walk around with it and see what it looked like to see if i'm that guy yeah and of course it went away i'm like i've just only that gone this side not the chest i'm not that guy yeah and of course it went away i'm like i've just only that gone this side not the chest i'm not that guy so you just walked around shirtless just seeing how that felt i did i have pictures i could probably do and then uh how long does it last a month or so and it looks

it yeah it well in the beginning it does and then over time it's fades and fades but yeah it looks pretty good And now it's just in your bloodstream. Yeah. Yeah. In your heart. Yeah, it's in my heart. Yeah, a little Tasmanian devil running around. Yeah, like that's a good idea.

I mean, if you want to know would it look good on you before you commit to a life of it, why not design the henna first, walk around with it, see what people, you know, take your time with it. I think it's a good idea. It is a good idea. And disappearing, you know, take your time with it. I think it's a good idea. It is a good idea. The disappearing, you know, over time, you'll have temporary ones. It's like an engagement. Just make sure this works before you commit. Somebody can take off if I have to.

Well, you did with your marriage. Yeah, exactly. Just try it out. You gave it to good old college. Seven years, not bad. Not bad. Seven years tattoo. Yeah.

It was a henna marriage i had to scrub it off there at the end it was tough but it came off yeah uh did uh well we're we're gonna talk about last time i said i'll read this last one and uh rye bread to all my fellow giant headed folks you can actually stretch snapback hats by steaming them on the stovetop. Found a video on YouTube, and it's changed my life. I don't know if this is the guy, but somebody did DM me this video because I talked about I have a large head, and it's tough to find hats that fit. And I watch it, and I haven't tried it yet, but it's a pretty elaborate process. Yeah, but it's a pretty elaborate process.

You have to boil water and then stretch a hat out over a pan, and then the steam will cause the fabric to widen. You can actually gain a few sizes on that. It's a lot of work. Does that lose its elasticity? No. The video I saw, they said it was exactly the same, just stretched it out a little bit.

So I might try that. I have a couple of those. I got a lot of hats that I cannot fit into that I'd like to. So we were talking about Last Comestant earlier before we – And we're talking about reality shows. Oh, okay. So this works out. So this week we're talking about – well, there we go. Reality shows.

Yeah. Biggest upset in reality show when Lavelle Crawford lost on season five of Last Comic Standing. Biggest. People were outraged. Yes, they were pissed off. I was surprised I won. Yeah. I mean, I didn't know to the extent.

Lavelle's funny, dude. I mean. No, Lavelle's great. He looks funny. He sounds funny. Yeah. Get you right there with him.avelle's funny, dude. I mean. No, Lavelle's great. He looks funny. He sounds funny. Yeah. And he's funny. Like, he's in shock right here.

You're about to kiss him. He's in shock, and I'm trying to tell him, like, I don't know what happened, man. I thought you were going to win, too. But I got the money, and you didn't. Was he upset? I think he was a little. Well, if you can find a clip of Bill Bellamy reading the results.

Because even Bill didn't know. Oh. So Bill's like, and the last comic standard winner is. And they got to pause for a long time. And he goes, John Reap. Just like that. Not like, John Reap. Yeah. John Reap. Just like that. Not like, John Reap.

Yeah. John Reap. Confetti goes off, and I'm like, what? And yeah, I won. So the difference is, if you're a – in the room, Lavelle Crawford was killing all the time, as he does. By the way, we filmed and taped that in Los Angeles. Yeah. As he does.

By the way, we filmed and taped that in Los Angeles. Yeah. Probably more of his crowd than my crowd in the audience. Yeah. And he's killing. He's doing great. And I'm doing fine. I'm doing fine. I'm not killing as much as he is, but I'm doing fine.

Yeah. But at home, when you watch it and you're not in the room, it's a different experience. Yeah. And you're like, what did he say? I can't understand the words he's using. Yeah. Like, it's a different experience. And you're like, what did he say? I can't understand the words he's using. Like, it was hard to understand. Because at the book store.

You're like, well, I heard him say book store. And so people, I just had a hard time understanding him. And I think that helped me. And we found out later. Funny that you're the one that they understand. Well, I would take my time yeah i would try purposely to enunciate all the words i used but i do remember that and i remember uh kathleen madigan was a judge on that season and at the after party i was like how close was it i mean i think everybody was kind of surprised that the whale didn't win how close

was it and my season that season was the the only year that Last Comic Standing was not just in America. It was Canada voted, Australia voted, the UK voted. And she said it wasn't even close. By the time America got done voting, it did not matter what Australia, the UK, or Canada did. Wow. She said, I won in a landslide. I'm like, really? And I guess that's part of it.

I don't understand. Because in the room, it looked like him. But outside of it, different story. Yeah, yeah. It's the difference of being in a live show versus watching on TV. But you're extremely funny. And it's not a surprise. Right, right, right.

Some people had picked me to win. But it was a good season. You had Ralph Harris. There's Doug Benson. Doug Benson in the back. Amy Schumer. Amy Schumer. Lavelle.

John Caparulo was on that one somewhere. I mean, didn't make it to that level, but there was a lot of good comedians that year. And the show itself, I think, has always had an identity crisis. Yeah. Are we a show that's looking for new comedians, or are we a show that's just a reality show and you have to live in a house? Are we a show that's just highlighting the best ones out there today?

Yeah. And it's always mixed it up. Were you all in a house? Nope. Thank God. So it's, yeah, this is when I think it was, this show could still work. Because, I mean, it could probably work more now than ever. Yeah.

Because comedy's in a different place. Yep. And it was, back then it was good because it was like every comic on there is like a pretty seasoned comic. I mean, Amy's probably the youngest. Yeah, she was the because every comic on there is a pretty seasoned comic. I mean, Amy's probably the youngest. Yeah, she was the youngest and most inexperienced at that time. Yes. But Amy was in New York and doing shows in New York.

So she was a great comic that was finding her voice in the moment. But it was a good balance of you got seasoned, and then you got some new. Yeah. How long had you been doing comedy up to now, up to this point? Let's see here. I quit my job in 1998 to do comedy full time. So 98 till this was 2007.

Yeah. So it takes a year or so to do all of it. So about 10 years in. Yeah. By the time I got on here, I had already done all those Dodge commercials. I already had a Comedy Central's half hour presents. Yeah. I had already been on Rodney Carrington's sitcom.

It wasn't like I was a brand new face. Yeah. But a lot of people didn't know the name John Reed. They just knew, oh, I've seen that guy in something. Yeah. But a lot of people didn't know the name John Reap. They just knew, oh, I've seen that guy in something. Yeah. He looks familiar. But this helped

the name part come, be more recognized. The John Reap. Yeah, this stuff was getting watched. I mean, that's the thing. They were using comics

that were great comics that had the material. This is a show you have to have a lot of material. Yeah. You have to be able to, because you've got to do a bunch of short sets a show you have to have a lot of material yeah you have to be able because you got to do a bunch of short sets so you have to open and close you know what seven times maybe

or something yeah it's so tough like that's not easy to do and that's what happens with newer comics is you don't realize how hard it is to open and close. How many sets can you do that, you know? And you will burn. You'll think, okay, the philosophy, my philosophy was do my best thing first because if it's funny, I get to advance. I can't save anything because if I try and save it, I get kicked off the show and now I had no chance to ever show my best. Yeah.

So I felt like I'm going to start with the best. So you do that, and then like, okay, so it's your best bit, right? And then it's part of a heckle challenge. You're like, I'm doing my best material while Jerry D is waiting to go, boo, it sucks, and talk over it. And then they're going to end it. So y'all had challenges. We had challenges.

The showcases were themed like that. Did you do a laundromat? No. I know that one, but we didn't have to do that. The worst one that we did, I hated the heckle challenge. To me,

that was the worst one because what you're saying to people at home is, Oh no, this is a part of comedy and you're allowed to do this. And it's really not. It's not.

You get kicked out. Do not do that. Some of us almost protested that whole challenge. Yeah. But I did it. And I hate that I burned through some of my best comedy right there while Jerry D was yelling over it. But we had to perform at Medieval Times.

Oh. That was one of the worst ones too. Yeah. We dress up like court gestures. We come out at a Medieval, and they tell you to do something related to medieval times if you've got some medieval jokes, which I don't. I had a bit about a fair, so I changed sausage to blood sausage.

That's all I did. And I tried to talk like that for a minute. I love that. Tough. Well, I love that. I know the mindset of do this, and you're just going through your app. Yeah. Every joke you've ever written, you go, you know what?

I could just make this be a dragon. I'll change these three words to that. Here we go. Here we go. And you're like, God, you're a medieval chunk. You go, yeah, you know, I've been bouncing around. I mean. New people are writing bits like, are you writing something?

Yeah. Well, you're, and then if you were lucky enough to go like, you're like, dude, I got a 30-minute medieval chunk. Psych him out. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, that was. The saving material, too. So that's like, I don't want that.

A little bit I know about that is just from Caroline's on Broadway, which I didn't ever post. Some of Caroline's Broadway has went away. And that club was a big, big deal to me. That club is a giant part of my career. And the festival and everything they did. I mean, I would go to Caroline's. It was, you know, Caroline's, they show on comedian Like, being able to work there was just one of the best. Yeah, iconic, legendary club.

Every comedian loved it. Yeah, yeah. And being able to sell out that club was the, you know, that was almost my time in New York was to go to see that club to eventually be able to sell it out and see it packed. And that would be one of the memories that I would have in comedy. But so I remember going to, but that's the saving to it. So they would do a March Madness. Josh Filipowski used to run, he might still do something, but they used to run this show. They'd do the March Madness Tournament, and you would go up, and then the crowd would vote, and then you'd be who would get to the end of it. I think I won it one year.

Julian McCollum won it. Wilson Vince won it. I can't remember. Was it over the course of a week? Yeah. It was maybe a few weeks, And then like a month or something. It was actually pretty fun. Like it was kind of, you know, you'd see who you get paired up against.

And then you go up there and you do your act, they do their act, and then the crowd would vote. And you'd be brackets. And so just like March Madness. But you would have to plan to be like, all right, you got to plan. It's not a bad thing for a comic to learn how to do this because you got to break up, let's say, how many rounds are there in the bracket? Eight, I don't know. Yeah.

64 to 32 to? Yeah. 16 to 8 to 4 to 2. Yeah, it's five, six rounds. Okay. So you're like, all right, five to six eight-minute sets or something, and maybe five minutes starts at five minutes, then it ends up being 10, 15 minutes.

So you've got to think that's all the openers, all the closers you've got to come up with. When do you put the material in? You've got to get past these rounds because you can't. There's part of you that wants to save something, but then you're like, you're going get you're gonna you're gonna mess around and not put something out good and then you're not gonna be like why didn't i do these jokes so like that that's a whole different mindset of setting up material to go like all right i gotta plan

what do i do like this and when you would auditioned for last comic standing, it was the same kind of thing. You're like, all right, when they first see me, I got to have this, you know, like, what am I going to do?

I think too, like come out swinging your best material. Then if you keep advancing and by the time you get to the last round, even though in your brain, you're thinking I'm out of my good stuff. I have to get this chunk. It's all I got left. By then, people have already seen you kill

and they're kind of like, I like this guy. Now they like you. Yes. And they're rooting for you. So even if you have a bad set, maybe they just vote for you because, well, I like you more. Well, they're going to get your material even more. So it's like usually your bad material might be the material that's on a long set.

People are knowing you. Right. Did you ever repeat material? Not on that show. You're not allowed to. In auditions or anything? Oh, wait. I'm sorry.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because you could. So I don't know how you're. I never made it. But you would. I auditioned a bunch. So in the very first audition, right, it's just you at a comedy club and there's the three celebrity judges sitting there, no audience.

Yeah. Right? So I went up and did a chunk there. And then luckily it was Alonzo Bowden and Kathleen Madigan and Ant was one of them. At about 20 seconds into it, they already knew they were going to advance me. They just, all right, John, stop, stop, save it, save it, save it. Yeah. They said, save it.

That's nice. I'm like, okay, good. Now I know I'm going to come back that night and I can do that again and not burn that material. And then they would cut some stuff out. And you have time, there's a hiatus and things would air and you could watch it

and be like oh they never aired that oh nice they never aired that that one bit I can do that again yeah yeah and I did

yeah so yeah there was that you know sort of paying attention to what's actually making it to air yeah and then editing as you go

but once you got to the top five, and I got – also, I got kind of lucky because – all right, this is a little devious. Do you know Dante? You know who that is? Yeah. Okay, so Dante was on my season.

And for whatever reason, people were shunning Dante. They were just – Canadians didn't want to hang out with him. They were kind of shunning him for being kind of a hack or whatever. And I'm just nice. If you're nice to me, I'm nice to you right back. Whatever you do on stage, I might have an opinion about it, but I'm not going to be it to you.

So I was nice to Dante. Now we're in the top 10 or whatever. And Dante's talking about, oh, so we have to say in a confessional at some point on the show, I know I'm funnier than, and name another comedian, right? And then whoever you got paired up against, you have to go against each other that night, which is the worst thing to have to sit there and say, I know I'm funnier than somebody, right?

I hated that part. And so Dante was asking me, who are you going to say? Who are you going to say? I was like, I don't know, but I feel bad if somebody says me. He said, what are you talking about? I was like, I mean, I've done all these commercials. I was running a sitcom with Rodney Carrington. They love me in the South.

If someone says I know I'm funnier than John Reap, they're not going to get any votes ever from the South. I got that on lockdown. I'm doing theaters now. Yeah. And he's like, oh, that's a good point. And I think he went off and started telling other people, I wouldn't vote for John.

I wouldn't say that. Not if you want to get votes. I wouldn't say that against John. And then no one, no one ever said, I know I'm funnier than John Reed. Not once did I have to defend myself or challenge anybody. I coasted to the top five. I didn't have to perform until I got to the top five. From 10 to 5, I just sat back and waited for someone to say, I know I'm funny.

I just sat around and go, oh, okay, it's your turn, I guess. Wow. That's pretty great. But I think I got into Dante's head and he leaked it to everybody else. Yeah. That's like survival. I I think I got into Dante's head, and he leaked it to everybody else. Yeah. That's like Survivor. It wasn't like a real strategy. I didn't know there was so much else involved in this show.

I thought it was just sets, but they really had a lot going on there. Yeah, all kinds of stuff. They really wanted to make it a reality show. Yeah. And then there were times where it was more about the sets. Yeah. Like I said, the shows had an identity crisis. It's changed its format many times. more about the sets. Yeah. Like I said, the shows had an identity crisis.

It's changed its format many times and, you know, it would be canceled for a year and it would come back a year. You know, the first year

was when Dat Fan won the whole thing, which I really think put a bad taste in a lot of people's mouths. Yeah. When Dat Fan, right out the gate,

was the first one beating a lot of great comedians. Yeah. No, again, nothing against Dat Fan, but the celebrity judges back then, I believe it was Tim Allen was one of them, and Brett Butler even,

wanted one guy to go forward, and the producers didn't like the guy that they wanted, and there was this big argument. Well, you're talking about season two. Is it season two? Yeah, I only know because I just read about it. It was Drew Carey and Brett Butler, and they were celebrity judges, and they got furious and called it a big sham because they wanted Dan Natterman to pass.

And not Dat Fan or something like that. No, not Dat Fan, but someone else. Ant, I believe it's Ant, who ended up. And they wanted, I'm sorry, I can't. Dan Natterman. Natterman. And they wanted, I'm sorry, I can't. Dan Natterman. Natterman. And they wanted him, and they were furious that he didn't advance. And then the producers were like, well, you don't really get a say in it.

And Drew Carey was like, well, this is a. Walking off the show. Yeah. So it was a big controversy, which right there, in terms of street cred, a lot of comedians are like, why would I go on this show? They're just going to do what they want. Yeah. You have these judges for a reason. Street cred. A lot of comedians are like, why would I go on this show? They're just going to do what they want. Yeah. You know? You have these judges for a reason.

So that put a bad taste in a lot of people's mouth. Then season three was a competition between season one and season two. Not even for new people. It was just that. And then they took a year off or something. But I remember my agent asking me, do you want to go audition? And I was doing fine. Like I said, I already had the half-hour special. I had already done a bunch of commercials.

I had already done this thing with Rodney Carrington. So I was like, I don't know. I don't know if I want to go down there and let someone edit me and look a certain way. I was kind of like, I don't need it, no thanks. I said no for a long time until season five and he said well this year they're going to do it different they're actually looking for road tested comics who if you win can actually headline and do 45 minutes to an

hour you know some of these people they would pass and didn't have over 20 minutes yeah and then they get to a club and people are like what was that yeah um so they want to get established ish comedians you don't have to live in a house first year i think they didn't have to live in a house everybody just got their own hotel rooms yeah and the prize money went up my year the prize money went up from 50 000 to 250 000 yeah and i thought okay i'll go down there yeah i'll go down there i had no i didn't think'd win. I knew they were going to paint me as the redneck. Yeah. But I sort of amped it up a little bit.

I just didn't know. So that was nice. So when you see me hugging Lavelle Crawford, one guy, first place, $250,000. Second place, $0. Wow. So I'm like, I'm sorry, Lavelle. Yeah. How much of that do you actually get?

Well, after taxes, it's probably like a little more than half. Because from my research, America's Got Talent, I think you're supposed to win a million dollars. I think that's over the terms of their lives or something crazy. 40 years. Like 40 years. $25,000 a year. Yeah.

Or you can do a one-time payout, which is $300,000. Yeah. They do it like the lottery. Kind of like the lottery. That sucks. And they lock them down to like a – they get theout, which is $300,000. Yeah. They do it like the lottery. Kind of like the lottery. That sucks. And they lock them down to like a – they get the worst contract. I've heard that too. The worst thing about this one was the actual tour that you had to do.

Because right when you win, that's when you got – you're hot. Let's go. I'll make my money. Nope. You're locking you down to a six-month tour, and this is the rate you're doing it at. Yeah. And so you had to do it. So that was the worst part.

Did you feel a lot on the road even after that? And then would you close those shows? Yeah. Yeah. That was tough, too. Yeah. Because everyone wanted to show me up. So I got married right after Last Comic Standing.

We had been engaged for a while. I'd been together for three or four years. It just so happened that our wedding day, we had planned it right when the tour starts. So I told them, like, hey, I'm not going to be on the tour the first two weeks. We've already planned this. I'm getting a tattoo. I said, if I will, that I can wash off later. I'm going to be in Hawaii getting married. And they're like, oh, well, if I win, that I can wash off later. I'm going to be in Hawaii getting married.

And they're like, oh, well, if you win, we'll see. And so they let me out of it. So they let me, which means Lavelle Crawford is now closing for those two weeks. So I got to come back on the tour after Lavelle's been crushing and closing. And then I go, I'm here now. And when they say it, they would be like, John's got to go last. I mean, you'd have to. That's just the order.

That's how they thought the audience would want it. The worst part about the tour, though, was – Do you guys know Jerry D at all? Yeah. I know who he is. I think I have met – yeah. Jerry D is great. Jerry D is one of the funniest dudes.

Where's he from? Canada. Okay. So he's crushing it in Canada right now. He's, I think he's the host of the Family Feud up there in Canada. He's had his own sitcom up there in Canada for a long time. Doing absolutely great. So me and Jerry got along.

We almost look identical anyway. I mean, of course we're gonna get along right and then you got uh amy schumer cool fun um then you've got ralph harrison and lavelle crawford who are always late to the tour bus like it wasn't even one time but they were on time yeah i'm talking 30 minutes 20 a long time and so finally jerry d is like i'm gonna say something to ralph this is enough dude he's not he's he's the mc yeah and he's he came in fifth and he's the last one on this tour i was like jerry i mean don't don't just let it go man he's like no i've had enough i'm gonna say something you got my back and i'm like i don't have my back what are you talking about i don't't have your back. Anyway, Ralph Harris comes on the bus late.

And Jerry's like, oh, cool, man. We can all leave now. Thanks, Ralph. Woo. You know, I was just like really giving it to him. And then they just got this huge tiff. They're like face-to-face yelling each other like this. And I'm pulling Jerry back this way.

Lavelle's pulling Ralph back this way. So it almost got a real fight happened on that tour bus, almost, because of that. Wow. But, I mean, that was tough. So when you had his back, you literally just kind of. Literally pulling his back. Like, I have your back to come this way.

But, yeah, that was the toughest part was doing the tour. And Amy was funny. She ran out of material pretty much. She'll tell you that. Yeah. She was young and was happy to get as far as she did. But I would say in the challenges, you know, off the cuff, the quickest one. Had the quickest wit of anybody.

Very fast, very funny, in the room with a random situation that would take place um and it didn't help it didn't help lavelle's case one time when amy won a challenge they did a speed dating challenge where we had to go like we went somewhere and they showed it they showed us all the deal or no deal models holding suitcases and so we thought we were going to go do speed dating with all these girls and try and make them laugh you know come yeah and then so now thought we were going to go do speed dating with all these girls and try and make them laugh you know yeah and then so now everyone's like trying to come up with jokes for that and then you didn't even use them when you did speed date it was like oh there's a random clown oh it's a random cowboy so you gotta now you gotta do jokes on the fly not ones that you

had 15 minutes to kind of come up with. Now it's like right now in the moment, and Amy crushed it. It was the funniest one. Ben Lavelle thought he was going to win. And when he didn't win, it was the same like, oh, man, this is good. And that didn't make him look good. Yeah. So I think over time people started not liking him for these little small

reasons on the show. Meanwhile, I'm like, hey, let's have some fun. So I think that helped me. Matt Kirshen, also a very funny guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Matt's very funny. I love me some Matt Kirshen. Yeah.

Yeah, I remember when I – because I auditioned. When I first moved to Chicago, I did it the first year. Three or four, something like that. But I remember I stood – I mean, I did it the first year, three or four, something like that. But I remember we, I stood, I mean, I was,

so I was new. I was, I mean, I haven't been in a company a full year, I don't think. And so we stood in line outside and I remember it being so cold. Cause we were out to Chicago Zanies and there was a, and I,

we got out there like six in the morning and it was like i mean 15 degrees or something ridiculous yeah and there was a bank with a time and a weather and you were just you could all in your face and that's all you could see so the whole time you're just like it's been one minute since i last looked at it and then then we stood out there for hours, and then they just go, all right, we're not doing it anymore. And then we didn't get to go in. And I was, like, close to going in. Like, it was the line, and then you're, like, about to go in. They're like, that's it.

And then you're like, so you just stood out there for hours. And so I remember doing it there. Then I remember doing it in New York, a lot of Carolinas. Because you get these reality shows, like're at the beginning you're straight up just a person in line but then you eventually get to where you your manager like smits your name and you don't wait in line you just go down there and go up but i mean carolines i mean we we spent the night in front of carolines we uh stood out on the sidewalk spent the night hannibal uh was doing it with us we had our buddy had a like a van and this is how long but you could park in front of

carolines so we had a we had the van parked for the carolines and it was cold so it would be like one person saved the spot and the rest of us sit in the van and then you would just keep rotating out carolines is time square right yeah you could just park right in the van, and then you would just keep rotating out. Caroline's is Times Square, right? Yeah. You could just park right in front of it back there? Yeah, yeah. You can't do that anymore. You can't even drive down there.

But, I mean, when I first started in New York, you could drive right up to Caroline's. I mean, you drive through Times Square. You could drive. It wasn't – not that it was hard to drive, but I remember at the beginning, at night, when it was, like, normal but I remember at the beginning, at night, when it was like normal, where it was like after 5, after 7 o'clock, it's like, you know, you could drive, just park, and find parking, and it wasn't that insane.

But now, obviously, they don't want you in the city. Yeah. But there, I remember we spent the night, and we – yeah, because Hannibal went and did spots. Like he came back one day, and we're like, where have you been? And he goes,um went and did spots like he came back one thing we're like where have you been he goes i'm gonna do this over really at an open mic practice he's practicing we were mad at him because we're like yeah well we're standing out here dude yeah and so and so you would just stand out there then i got in there that i did it

and didn't get good and the one that the last one i did was giraldo was hosting and uh i and i got to do a set this was the one i'm gonna talk about it for you this one hurt me the most it's out of my career this is this is one of the things that uh i remember i was like sick about but i remember just because i was clean and i was like you know i was like i'm built for this kind of thing and so i think i'm like how am i i should be able to get on this show i should win i'm the only one i can do all the all my materials clean right yeah everything can be aired on tv and so i and i went and uh did it in front of geraldo and uh the jokes i chose was one about like the homeless joke about like homeless people go to sleep and they sleep on the, you see them sleep on the, they always have a good night's sleep or something like that. I mean, they sleep for like eight hours.

And like, you know, I was like, I wish I could sleep as good as that guy. It's like I did that joke. And then the joke about evolution where I'm like, if I had monkeys, DNA, something. And so I was like, those two jokes murdered. So I just chose two jokes that destroyed. So these jokes in the city was like I was murdering. And I was like, they make me stand different. I'm doing an evolution joke that's like saying I don't believe in evolution.

So it's like I'm coming at a completely different angle. So I thought, well, that joke is different, and I'm taking it at a different angle. So I thought, well, that joke is different, and I'm taking it at a different angle. And then I did the homeless joke. But then Geraldo was like, he goes, your act doesn't make sense. You're saying this one thing like you're this Christian, but then you're also making fun of homeless people. So he's like, I don't know what you are.

Wow. Which I think back on it did you know him before no i never met i ended up open for him once and we drove in the car i opened for him we drove to uh somewhere and did a show and it was weird but he was a good guy quiet and he was not too long before he died yeah and uh but the one thing that i always remember about him he was i mean he was unreal i don't and i was not mad about that thing the more i think about it it makes sense like i did choose two different types of jokes uh but the what that the the thing that i remember at him most is i asked him i was about i was like me and my wife might or think about having a kid

and i was like is it great having a kid And I remember he looked at me and he said, he goes, it's the best, man. It's the greatest thing ever. And I always remember that. He loved his children. I mean, he had a lot of problems, but that was a very sweet. He just looked at me like, there's nothing better, man. And to see that from a person that's a New York comic

that's all about jokes and all this, you at least saw the dad. And so that was, you know. that's all about jokes and all this. Like, you at least saw, like, the dad. And so that was, you know. I didn't know he had a cab. I guess maybe I knew at one point. But when he, but like, so, but that, when he, when I did it pass, I remember going to call Laura. I mean, I was, like, sick to my, like, if,

I never had a moment where I was going to quit, but a moment of just exhaustion of being like, you know, you're trying to find the thing that's going to be like, what's the thing going to be that I can like finally move on and like get that's like, all right, can we get the, you know, here's the next thing. I'm like, all right, I'm going to be on this show maybe. And maybe, maybe I win this show and maybe, you know, and I've been being clean. I felt like it was that thing that was like, I'm doing all the things you're supposed to do to get on TV. And I couldn't get on TV. show and maybe you know and i've been being clean i felt like it was that thing that was like i'm doing all the things you're supposed to do to get on tv and i couldn't get on tv yeah and it was

you know and i'm going back it's like yeah i mean look that i i'm it all worked it obviously it's all worked out but it's like all happened in its own everything happens in your own time frame and uh what year was that again? I'm sorry. The year you were on it. No, I was just trying to, the timeline. I want to say around 2008 or so, but I'm guessing. I think it's a little bit later. When was Geraldo the judge?

I remember you called me when that happened. Season seven, that's 2010. Was Craig Robinson the host? Yes. Okay, is 2010. Was Craig Robinson the host? Yes. Okay. So, yeah. It's 2010. Yeah, yeah. Because that's the one that, yeah, when he goes, I got a new movie called Hot Tub Time Machine. And Geraldo goes, what's it about?

This is very funny. So, yes. So, you're seeing Greg Geraldo and Tasha Leggero, Andy Killer were the judges. And it's like all my friends are on this show. I mean, like, or my peers. I mean, Jesse Joyce, Adrienne Appaloochee, Metzger. You know, I mean. Brian Hamilton was on that season.

Brian Hamilton, who was, yeah. And I just remember, man, it was like, it was brutal. Yeah. I remember. It was brutal. It's tough, dude. Doing that comedy for just the judges in the very beginning. Is that the level you're.

Yeah. That's the level I got to. All right. So that's the hardest part of all of it, in my opinion, because there's no crowd. Yeah. You know, you just got these other comedians that are like maybe they maybe they know you maybe they don't know you but doing comedy in front of nobody but another comedian yeah it's the worst it's a nightmare mike di stefano so i got lucky when they said save it save it i got lucky that they kind of knew who i was and they liked me like alonzo b Bowden, I've done comedy shows with, and he was a judge.

So I felt pretty comfortable there, but you know. Yeah, but it's not luck. I mean, you got to, like, it's the, it doesn't, it's not, everybody knows everybody. We're in a small, such a small world. So it's, you should have, you won it. You should have won it. You should, like, it's not a surprise that you won it.

It's very much deserving. That Jason Nash, that guy's like, is he a comic or is he the YouTube dude? That name sounds familiar. Maybe is he? Do you know Kurt Fox? Yeah. See, he's hilarious to me. Hilarious, yeah.

And he went on stage in front of the judges, and his set was just starting to fall apart. But he took a step out of it. He goes, like, this is not going well, is it? And then he started roasting himself. And then that went well. And I think he went through just based on that. I think.

I can't remember. But I remember him, like, because I know he's great, but he just didn't have a good experience. But he's so funny, he made fun of that, and that was working. I remember thinking, oh, good for him for being able to do that in that moment. but he just didn't have a good experience. But he's so funny. He made fun of that, and that was working. Yeah. I remember thinking, oh, good for him for being able to do that in that moment. Yeah, so this was 2010. So, like, yeah, like, this is what I remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know that guy. Like, it's hard because it was like I remember 2010 was like, all right, so I did that point in my career. I did, like, Last Comic, so I did that point in my career. I did Last Comic Stand. I've done Conan. It was like I was starting to kind of do some stuff. So I was hoping it's like this goes to the next. People knew me.

I was able to get it. You said Last Comic Stand. I think you mean Comedy Central? I mean Comedy Central, like Live at Gotham. Yeah. I did Live at Gotham. I did, you know. Prior to this, you had already been on Gotham.

You had already done Conan. Yes. Gotcha. And so it was like kind of like, all right, like this is. I did, you know. Prior to this, you had already been on Gotham. You had already done Conan. Yes. Gotcha. And so it was kind of like, all right, this is going to be, you know. And it's like, I mean, I got to get past the first thing, like, you know. And then when it was, like, because you think, like, all right, I'm going to be doing this show. Like, I could pass.

We got that show tonight. Not that you're pre, you know, I'm aware that I might not win. But you're also like, all right, well, there's a show tonight. Not that you're pre, you know, I'm aware that I might not win, but you're also like, all right, well, there's a show tonight. Like, I mean, I got, you just really believe I got a chance. I really believe I'm in, you know, and I'm almost trying to talk myself out of not feeling this confident. Right. And then to go do it and it's during the day.

And then within, you know, from walking and walking out was like a 20-minute thing to then be like, it's over. Like, there's not even a, it's just done. Back to the grind. Back to the line that you were in. So go figure out your life. And like, that was, it was brutal. And I mean, I think that's always the parts for people that probably makes you mad too not just i was hurt i remember being you are i mean you go through the

you are mad you are like i mean how are these people getting in they get you go through all that stuff all the bitter jealous and all that kind of stuff and i think these are those are the moments though that you gotta uh not spiral out that's that's that's the in you gotta get and it's hard not to spiral out because it's hard not to go like i don't know what else to do i'm trying like because you just go there's nothing else like so i just do this forever i just am going to be you know like you you know you think highly you can be like i think i mean i'm not maybe i'm terry you know i don know you think highly you can be like I think I mean

maybe I'm Terry you know I don't know it's a it's not a good spot but it's a spot

that you gotta get through I hope they I wish they would show old episodes of it I would love to watch other seasons before me now

you know John Heffern was season two or three I'd love to go back and watch old sets. Mike DiStefano was New York. Oh, he's worse. Yeah, yeah. The Stand, the comedy called The Stand in New York,

their logo is him. Oh, yeah. He died. But DiStefano was hilarious. But DiStefano was someone that was very good. He was great in the room great like you know like a comic that the new york guys the new york comics like hey well amy to very very good in the room very very good in the you know uh the banter and all that kind of stuff any like something happened because that's

what they would do yeah they'd all do opie and anthony and all the radio and all that yeah yeah you're going up every night in front of a crowd that's like you got do. Yeah. They'd all do Opie and Anthony and all the radio and all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going up every night in front of a crowd that's like, you've got to go on stage. Oh, where are you from? Like, you know, and everybody's from somewhere. And so a lot of those comics were very, very, very good at that. But it was, yeah.

Heffron won it. Yeah. I mean, you'd see people's careers. Like, people were just blowing up. I mean, at the beginning. So that was 2004. So 2003 was probably the one I first auditioned for, I guess. Season one?

Yeah. Yeah, I guess season one. Yeah, I almost think it was season one because it just came out. Yeah. And then it was. Yeah, that was the one everybody thought Ralphie should have won. Right. And then that fan won.

I think that final episode of season one is on YouTube. I watched some of it last night. The entire season? Yeah. Not the entire season. The episode. Yeah, it's like 47 minutes long, and I scanned through it, and they show clips of bad auditions.

I mean, you can go to Pluto TV and watch nonstop Love Boat. I feel like NBC could have. Yeah, if someone bought this, I mean, maybe they're NBC could have yeah if someone bought this I mean maybe they're scared that they didn't say yeah maybe

yeah it seems like people would be into it they should do it though when they do it again if they did it again was like just be like just do the act I mean like you look

at comedy on Instagram people are like taking in like that kind of stuff so you could do it where you just like do the

do your act. But that's the thing with the reality shows. You're at the mercy of their edits. You're at the mercy of their edits. You're at the mercy of how you're presented, mercy of being put in these weird situations that it already would be hard enough to have to do the sets, much less you're in a laundromat or people are heckling, and then you've got to figure out how to deal with that. Doug Benson gave me good advice.

He's like, at this time, Doug Benson's done a lot of random VH1 shows and all that kind of stuff. He said, well, this moment's not live. They're just filming it. And they want the of stuff. He said, well, you know, this moment's not live. They're just filming it. And they want the best stuff. You know, sometimes they're fishing to get you to say something bad about another comedian. But what Doug would do, and they tell you to repeat the question so the person asking you the question is not in the shot or whatever.

So you repeat the question. So Doug would do that, repeat the question, and then he would sit there and think about it. He wouldn't be in a hurry. He'd think about it and be like, just put his head down. When he thought of something good, he would present it that way. Whereas I was like, oh, yeah, so I'm nervous energy going, I'm doing all this stuff.

Doug was just very calm. So Doug did well on the show. But I think that's a good way. Doug was just very common. So Doug did well on the show. But I think that's a good way. If you're ever in that moment, if you're in an interview like that, just really stop and think about it because they're not going to air that. That's not live. They'll cut that awkward pause out.

You do have that. You have that when you're on camera thinking, I've got to rush. Yeah. You can be like, no, you're going to do something. No, no, no, no. Especially you're not in front of a live audience right just just you and another guy

behind the camera you guys know what the first reality show was oh show or kind of depends this is kind of true it kind of depends on

what's considered reality show MTV real world it was a movie what about a family well you're kind of both right I don't okay yes real world

is kind of considered yeah what we consider reality shows that was the first and that was in the 90s. Now, there was some PBS thing you might be talking about, about a family. Yeah, it was about a family. It was way beyond that. But it wasn't a show.

It was a documentary. Yeah, and cops. Some people consider cops reality shows, and that started in the 80s. I think the only real reality is if it's 100 hidden camera and some people say candid camera was the original because if you know you're on camera how real are you being you're only giving that person the version you want them to see well cops would be pretty because it's like i mean you're catching these people and yeah your worst moments yeah uh but i could see yeah but the reality tv is like well

we've got to make it a show real world's kind of the groundbreaking one to consider and then survivors one that made reality shows like yeah wow this is like rainings grabbing yeah and that started 2000 what's the difference between a documentary and a reality show i mean really i think reality is chaos and like documentary is a story. You can make a documentary about anything. It's about one subject matter, and you can just get in there and learn all about that one thing. And this one I'm talking about, the documentary is about this family deciding to air their lives for everyone to see. So that's what it was about. Kind of the first reality show, also a documentary.

Documentary didn't have to be about a reality show. It could be about anything. I love documentaries, docu-series. That's all I watch. I mean, now, obviously, reality shows are so scripted. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Depending on what it is. Like, my wife watches The Real Housewives, some of them. There's a DirecTV commercial now with Dak Prescott where it's showing how you can watch football in Real Housewives. yeah flips a table yeah i've seen that i didn't know what that inside but doing this research there was a very famous scene in real housewives where one of them flips a table yeah who flips a table yeah and then in the commercial i just want to talk yeah yeah so now i get that i get that joke yeah um um real people do you remember real people yes real people would come on uh right

after that's incredible yeah they were both that's back in our yeah this old timey days yeah what was this the radio good radio almost byron allen look at byron allen yeah oh wow real people was awesome he had skip stevenson this good-looking blonde-headed guy that was kind of funny that mostly good-looking, blonde-headed guy that was kind of funny, but mostly good-looking. And they said, well, you're perfect for this. Skip Stevenson. Yeah, they would just highlight weird, random people out in the world doing weird things.

Before the internet. It was kind of like a Ripley's Believe It or Not kind of thing. I remember one episode. That's a lot of people on a show for just that. By the way, I don't even remember anybody except for Byron Allen and Skip Stevenson. I forgot these other three people. Mark Russell, Peter Billingsley, Fred Willard.

Yeah, probably a correspondent. Yeah. They would go out and find these people. It was almost like a daily show. It was a weekly show. Come on, once a week. Not every day. Yeah, every day.

I know what you mean. Yeah, like a daily show. No, like the daily show. Yeah, I know what you mean. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Trevor Noah. Yeah.

By the way, who was the first host of the daily show? Oh, it was Craig Kilborn. Craig Kilborn, yeah. I almost said Liz Winstead. Was she involved in that? She was in there. She was in there. Writer, of course.

Yeah, yeah. He was the first. He did a lot of stuff. Craig Kilborn, I thought, did a good job at that show. It was very funny. He had that. He had the CBS show. I saw him.

I might have talked to him. What happened to Craig Kilborn? He had a late night talk show for a while. He did. I think he pissed people off. I saw him one. I think he did too. But he was very funny.

Yes. And I saw him at an airport. And I saw him the night before at something. And we talked. And the next day at the airport, I see him. And he's just like winking at me very, very quickly. But I'm not putting it together that it's him because it was just we're sitting across from each other and he's i think he's got his hat

like it was just like he's just like doing it very and you're like god what is this guy's problem and then it was like i finally started talking to him he's very i always thought he was hilarious i just i don't know why he just fell off the he's in the old school. There's a chance he was canceled for something. We're saying all this. Yes, I think there's something. He's a great guy. Yeah, yeah. I have no idea what happened to him.

I don't remember, but it was. If you ever can look up the episode where Vince Vaughn came on The Daily Show or the Craig Kilbourne Show. It was the Craig Kilbourne Show. And they just hit it off. Yeah, it was one of his first guests. It was so funny. And it was one of the funniest interviews ever.

And I thought, wow. Yeah. That's before I knew who Vince Vaughn was. It was in 1998. This dude's hilarious. 1998 was that? That episode. Yeah.

Me and John. Yeah, baby. Just going full-time comedy at that point. Yeah, just quit my job. This real people show launched Richard Simmons into the zeitgeist. Oh, wow. Wow. I believe it. I just quit my job. This real people show launched Richard Simmons into the zeitgeist. Oh, wow. Wow. I believe it.

Fitness instructor Richard Simmons had his major break into mass media. Did you watch That's Incredible as well? I did. I did. What was That's Incredible? Hosted by? John Davidson. Yeah, I remember him.

Fran Tarkington. Oh, yeah. Quarterback from the Vikings. Yeah. Back in the day, that, yeah. Quarterback from the Vikings. Yeah. Back in the day, that was one of the first mobile quarterbacks. The guy had to run for his life. But, yeah. Nobody blocked for him.

He was like, I'm getting killed. He was a scrambler. He was a scrambler. But that show was, yeah, they would just find almost people that were too amazing for real people. Yeah. Like, I don't believe that. That's incredible. Yeah, that's more of like the Ripley's Believe It or Not.

It's like guys who could juggle, I don't know. I can't even think of anything like that. Stunts and reenactments of allegedly paranormal events. Yeah. Well, I don't remember that so much. I just remember doing crazy stunts. Like, can you believe that guy? Ballots fire on his tongue?

I don't know. Yeah, yeah. It was great TV. And then they'd say, they'd say that's incredible that's incredible yeah there's a lot of that you have to say the title of the show like every 15 minutes despite accusations of being sadistic the series was a huge success influenced many entertainers oh that's how they got me so i'm trying to figure out where to go so some of the villains all-time great villains john now one telling dante to that's right yeah for your own good don't don't say you're funnier than me for you for you for you i'm giving you this as a heads up yeah but it turns out you were right about all that maybe maybe. Maybe. I don't know. But it was the right strategy.

I mean, you played. I look at it as like this. You played this the way you should be playing. It's like this idea of comics can have this. They can sometimes have an ego in it. You're like, well, you're on a reality show. So if you've committed to do this show, then some of that has to go away to either play the game. You're entertainment.

And so there's a party that doesn't want to do it. You don't want to do it either. But you're like, and you do a little bit of it. You do as much as you're supposed to do, just like everybody did.

And then it turned out to be. I mean, at the end of the day, they're not going to vote for someone they don't like. Yeah. So luckily, my kind of comedy lends itself to likability. Anyway, I'm sort of that kind of guy. But I also think there are great comedians who are more of a, you know, like an Andrew Dice Clay type where it's like, bust your balls.

Dan Natterman's not the most likable guy, but Dan Natterman's super funny. Yeah. But it's, yeah, he's- But I enjoy all types. So it's going to be harder for guys like that to do a show like that where you have to get people to like you to make them call and vote. That's its own- That's a whole other-

It's its own kind of other thing. And so, yes, it's very much- N-A-T-U-R. Very much true that. You never heard of Dan? I do know. I just didn't know how to pronounce his last name. I've seen him on Louis.

I've seen him on other stuff. And he's great. He's very funny. Yeah, very funny. And Dan Natterman. Dan Natterman. Yeah. So some of the villains,

these are both for Survivor. Johnny Fairplay. I didn't watch Survivor, but apparently one of the villains, these are both for Survivor. Johnny Fairplay. I didn't watch Survivor, but apparently one of the things is you get to bring a family member. So I'm on the same list

as this Fairplay guy? Well, I put you on this list. Okay, I didn't know if this existed out there. Well, it is. Well, is it the villain list? Yeah, this is the villain list and I've added John to it.

Okay, yeah, that's fine. There's nothing as bad as what John has done, but this guy... It's called the John Reap list and everybody just knows it's villains. There's nothing as bad as what John has done, but this guy. It's called the John Reap list. Everybody just knows it's villains. Yeah, me and him, best friends. This is the greatest lie in Survivor history.

Survivor's had 43 seasons. Got Dusty's play shirt on. 43 seasons. He does. Boy, he does. He's got, yeah, Dusty. Put a little moon on there. Put some glasses on that guy. Put a beard on him.

That's a blonde Dusty. That's a blonde Dusty. It is a blonde Dusty. Dusty's the villain of this show. So I guess Survivor has a history of bringing a family member on the show sometime during the season. And he hatched a plan with his buddy that when it gets to that point, I'm going to bring you on as a family member. You tell me that my grandmother died.

Everyone will feel sorry for me. And i'll get to skip this immunity challenge because or what because my grandmother died so he did that and it was just a big lie wow and yeah that's a weird where people you don't know do you like understand it respect it is it bad is it you know you could go about like you know you could see where the audience because you you could see a family being like you can't do that and someone's like who cares it's a you're trying to win yeah a million dollars yeah so you go the you know the gloves are off i'm gonna say whatever it's also entertaining fair play it's playing entertaining. It's fair play. It's also entertaining. Yeah. Well, it's fair. Yeah, it's also the. Danny Bonaduce almost killed that guy at an awards show one time.

Oh, really? Do you know about this? Is that what that is right there, the altercation or something? Yeah. Okay, yeah. Google, look up that video. You can see, like, Johnny Fairplay is giving some speech at some awards show, and everybody's booing him. And this is when Bonaduce was roided up he comes walking on stage he's like they don't

like you trying to get in the lead and he body slams and i think he broke his nose like he really hurt him because fairplay as an idiot jumped on danny's back. And Danny's like, dude, I could slam. Jumped on his face pretty much. And so Danny goes, bam. He lands on his head, and he literally broke his nose or something really bad happened right there and had to go to the hospital. Wow.

What did you get for jumping on the douche, man? Yeah. Yeah, that's, yeah. You want fair play? I'll show you fair play. I'll break your. says they're booing because they hate you yeah right wow he's like am i right i mean it's got to be uh yeah to be able to play a villain i don't know how i mean i guess you just and you're built to where you love that yeah you. You love the idea of being a villain. Like, you want to play it.

I think it would be really fun in wrestling, but not in that world. And not in real life. Not in real life. No, I wouldn't want to walk around in real life, people knowing that you're bad, not pretending you're bad. Not your character, but who you are as a person. That's horrible. Not your character, but who you are as a person.

Right. That's horrible. I say the equivalent to my generation of this is Mike the Situation from Jersey Shore. Yeah. He did the roast of Donald Trump, and he bombed so horrifically bad. That was this kind of moment. So bad that Jeff Ross had to come up there and get people to take it easy on him. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it was bad like go like the audience was booing and just laughing at him for like you could tell he was like it was it was awkward yeah he was like it's my first night doing comedy and jeff ross goes it's also your last night but yeah killing yeah so what reality shows you you guys watch? You watch Below Deck. We know that. I watch all the ones my wife watches. All the Real Housewives. Real Housewives, all Below Deck. There's like five iterations of that now, too. I've seen some of those.

I mean, for a minute, I was all into the real world, but I was at that age. Yeah, yeah. I thought it was interesting. My buddy MJ Garrett, he just won. Or I think he won something. I don't know. He's doing it again. Really? He just won. I think he won something. I don't know. He's doing it again. Really?

He just won. I think he won something, guys. I have no idea. I think he's the champion of the gauntlet, too, in All-Stars 2. I just saw MJ. I've known MJ since I was a kid. Really? Yeah.

Does he stand up, too? No, no, no. He's from Nashville. Yeah. Okay. I thought he was born in 80. I thought 42. I thought he's from here. Yeah. Okay. I thought he was born in 80. I thought 42. I thought he was younger than, like, I thought he was two years.

You were born in the 70s. I was born in 79, but I thought he was two years younger than me. And he, so we grew up, you know, but locally here, just played basketball and knew him, or baseball, whatever. And then we both went to the same high school. He was obviously, he was maybe two grades under me. And then we both played, or went to the same high school. He played at Vandy, went to Vanderbilt.

And then he got, after Vanderbilt, he got into the real world, Philadelphia. And so he was on that. And it was the last, that was one of the last ones i watched laura watched it kept watching it for a lot longer i don't know if she watches anymore but it was when he was on field the philadelphia one that was i was towards the end of when i was kind of like done watching it but we had a one we had uh he went there mj and uh was in real world and now he's actually going back and he's like actually been doing good and he's doing in real world. And now he's actually going back and has actually been doing good. And he's doing this and on the show.

And people are famous. And then another one, we had Shawna Frazier was on another. She went to my high school. We graduated together. And she was on like, I think it's W. She was on Real World. She was on one of the other reality shows that was like on W. Yeah. She was on Real World. She was on one of the other reality shows that was like on Fox. Wow.

Yeah. It's, yeah, Frasier with a Z. You know, I forget what it was. It was like one of those beach ones where you go to the beach. A lot of people in bikinis. There's so many. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, there's a lot of that on Netflix now where they just said,

oh, you want reality and a little bit of raunchy. Yes, yeah. You can get it on Netflix now. Yeah, she went to that show. It's kind of crazy. We had two people. There's a Venn diagram. Yeah, that's crazy.

Of all the different – there's so many wars. That thing I sent you with the – there's so many shows with war at the end or boss at the end or, I mean, there is a million reality shows. There it is right there. They, how they all overlap. Look how big weddings is. Yeah. Holy.

Texas has its, of course, Texas. Louisiana. Has its own bubble. Yeah. Alaska too. Louisiana. Okay. Alaska.

I'm just don't see any other ones. There's a big wave of like gold you know monsters the one that i i didn't like i told you real world i stopped watching them for a long time then when i moved back home i started watching with my parents the uh big brother celebrity big brother yeah i like that one because i kind of know these people a little bit and then you get to see maybe how they act in reality. I don't like reality shows

because I feel like they bring out the worst in people generally speaking. Yeah. The competition shows are great. Okay.

I had never watched the scene of Susan Ball singing on Britain's Got Talent and that's great. I mean, just a, no one believed in her.

Just a frumpy lady come out and then she blows them away and that gave me goosebumps seeing that oh boy here we go

my friend Josh Wagner had a bit about this the whole point of that story is that she was unattractive right so everybody's just blown away that an unattractive person

is talented that's the whole point of that so you were you were doubting her for the same reason it was more than just she walked out and you're like go it was more than just her. She walked out and you're like, go.

It was more than her attractiveness. Because people are probably. They wouldn't let anybody on. That girl's probably my age. She was about my age. She can't sing. Look at her face. Look at her hair.

There's no way she can sing. It was also the way she answered the questions. Okay. She seemed like. And there is something mentally wrong with her. She had to go to a psychiatric hospital right after the show. Oh, really? Yeah, she had some issues.

I think she was just overwhelmed. She was a little bit on the spectrum maybe. Yeah. But she, you know, it showed, now they probably edited it this way maybe, but it shows audience members like, who is this? Yeah, yeah. And the judges are like, ugh. So she'd want to root for her because everyone else is kind of bullying her

until she sings. Well, everybody else is like young and attractive. And you see that person's a star. And like everybody else, you can see how they could be a star. And then she comes out. The way she was dressed was just very frumpy and, you know. Yeah, just, I mean, it would be if Brian walked up. Yeah.

Brian is the Susan Bull of comedy where he if Bates I hope so oh you should come out on stage to whatever song

she sang that should be my dream to dream that should be your walk on that's what he does when Bates he goes out and Bates goes

and does like an all black show and the whole crowd's black and then they see him walk out and they're laughing in Tennessee they go oh no the whole crowd's black and then they see him walk out and they're like oh no what's this gonna be

and then he murders yeah Bill Bellamy's like no no give him a chance give him a chance give him a chance let him talk yeah

there's a I can't remember who it was I feel like she's on Last Comic Stay a black female comic who has a joke about not being able to sing and how people are

just so disappointed they just assume she's kind of overweight large black woman like when I'm in church and I can't sing and how people are just so disappointed. They just assume she's kind of overweight, large black woman. Like when I'm in church and I can't sing and people just assume, right? I'm a great singer. But yeah, that Susan Bowles is great. I mean, but you look at Carrie Underwood, who nobody knew. That looks like somebody's going to be a star.

Yeah. Right. Carrie Underwood and Kelly Clarkson is probably the two biggest celebrities that have come from. What about Kelly Pickler? I thought she would be bigger than all of us. She still makes announcements at the Nashville airport. I hear her.

Does she? Okay. She had a show. I don't think it's the Kelly Pickler show. Yeah. I think it's gone. Kelly Clarkson has a show. I just assumed she would have shot up.

She was just in a Hallmark movie. Okay. Yeah, she's fine. She's become more of a personality. Yeah, yeah. Kelly, yeah. Carrie Underwood's probably more of a personality. Yeah, yeah. Kelly, yeah. Carrie Underwood's probably the biggest. I think so.

She's a megastar. Kelly Clarkson's pretty big, though. Kelly Clarkson's very big, too, but Carrie Clarkson, she's got her own talk show. It's not the same as Carrie Underwood's just is a singer, stayed this, and is, you know,

Monday Night Football theme song. She's Madonna. She's, you know, like she's that big. Jennifer Hudson, that's actually pretty... She won an Oscar. Adam Lambert, he was pretty big. Still is, I think.

What is he in? He's that weird looking dude. Did he join Queen? That's pretty reductive. Did he join Queen? He did something with Queen. Yeah. Jennifer Hudson's actually pretty wild.

He did a residency with Las Vegas. Yeah, Jennifer Hudson's huge. Jennifer Hudson's like... Yeah, did she win an Oscar? I think she does have an Oscar. She did, yeah. She didn't go very far. For Dreamgirls, and she has two grandmas, too. Oh, and her whole family.

She had a horrible family thing that happened. Yeah. Her parents. Yeah, that's actually pretty wild. Jennifer Hudson's actually up there, too. Jennifer Hudson's so famous now that I don't think people know she even with. None of them you might not know kelly clarkson i feel like you still know was on it carrie underwood you might have people wouldn't know jennifer hudson though i mean he's like a straight up a-list actor that's you know like gonna be one of the greatest actors ever yeah

jordan sparks chris daughtry yeah he's still a hit. Daughtry. Pickler's up there. David Cook, I remember him. I've met David Cook. Drops off pretty good. Clay Aiken. Clay Aiken. He probably still does stuff. What is this list? He does.

If you're looking at it. This is the most successful American Idol contestants. American Idol. This is sorted by net worth, which who knows. Because Miranda Lambert was on, there was a Nashville star. It was a reality show. Yep. And she's got her start there

who what's the most successful like reality star person ever no matter what the show no matter what the that comes from

reality TV I mean these housewives now are so famous yeah comedy clubs are they

a lot of them I thought they some of them like have like that Bethany. I just know because Laura watched. Laura cuts it, won't let me watch it with her. Because you ruin it for her?

No, just because I don't think she wants me to know what she's watching. I think it's looked at. You think she's a little embarrassed by it? Yeah. Well, I think it's all kind of, you know, it's like trash TV. Is she afraid if you watch it with her, you're going to sit there and just roast it and pick it apart? Yeah, it's. Ruin her fun? Yeah, yeah with her, you're going to sit there and just roast it and pick it apart? Yeah, it's – Ruin her fun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you going to – yeah, you're just like – I don't – you know, I walk in, you're just like – I just look at it as like all these super wealthy women that are like being like, here's my problems. And you just kind of go back to – But I know it's entertainment. But then you always – it's hard not to go back and be like people have real problems and then if i hear them talk about a real problem then that's when i that's really it i don't mind i guess i don't mind the you're being entertainment but then i think i've seen some where it's like then they give their opinion of something and you're

like yeah come on ruth uh she made the argument so the first one she watched was real housewives of orange county which is where she's from. She said when it first started, it was more of literally just seeing kind of where they live, their homes, their whatever. And then over time, it's just morphed into the fights. They've amped it up and stuff like that. One Direction started from a reality show. Oh, really?

Really. Yeah, it was like a British show, X Factor, but not the X Factor here. And I think Simon Cowell maybe put them all together. Is that right? Yeah. Sounds about right. Because they were all individual singers, and this puts you guys together as a band. Who's the biggest one to come out of One Direction?

Was that Harry Styles? Harry Styles. Oh, wow. Is that Harry? That's what I was thinking. Oh, Harry Styles is like top five famous people in the world right now, I think. Oh, he was in Wonder... Oh, so that's probably it.

Yeah. Like to come from a reality show... Harry Styles. To now be Harry Styles. Yeah. Yeah, from starting from nothing, probably him. Carrie Underwood would be up there. Because like the Kardashians are super famous, but they're already...

I mean, that took them to a much higher level though. Yeah. Yeah. It might be kardashians really yeah but they were already kind of in there was something before the reality right yeah i read where the oj trial kind of got reality tv going because so many people from that watched the trial that was a reality show and then there was so many the kardashians chase kato kaling kato i mean they all kind of did their own thing after that.

Yeah. Well, even like watching the OJ chase when the cops were chasing him. That sort of became a reality thing that we all watched together. Did you watch that live? I did. I happened to be at a buddy's house watching the NBA finals. We had people over there. They cut away from that to watch that, which was way more entertaining at the time.

Because that game was not good. Yeah, there's a 30 for 30 about that. They cut away from that to watch that, which was way more entertaining at the time because that game was not good. Yeah, there's a 30 for 30 about that. Yeah, I remember that. Oh, my God, OJ running for the cops. Because there were so many other sporting events. Have you seen that 30 for 30? Which one? The day of the OJ chase, there was the NBA finals.

Arnold Palmer, I think, was playing his last major. No, I had no idea all this other stuff was – I feel like Ken Griffey hit his 500th home run or something like that i'm getting it but it was just a lot of major milestones and sports happened that day it was a big day yeah man very big day but that was by far the biggest story oh yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean they cut away from the nba finals yeah yeah and it's crazy yeah that is crazy to cut away. And Jordan was in the NBA Finals. I don't think it was Jordan. Maybe it was in the Finals.

Maybe it was the year. I think it was the Rockets and the Knicks maybe. Was it the year? Oh, yeah. That's a good trivia to know. The chase was in 94. The chase was in 94, June 17th. Yeah. Just look at what was going on that day.

Who was in that day, that game? Who was playing? Look at the team. Yeah. going on who was in that that day that game who was playing and you know look at the team yeah um the 1994 world cup okay yeah wildest day in sports wow yeah uh yeah arnold palmer playing his final round at the u.s open the world cup ended the rangers celebrated their win in the Stanley Cup finale. The parade. Game five of

the NBA Finals. That's what it was. Ken Griffey Jr. tied Babe Ruth's home run record of most home runs before June 30th. It was the Houston Rockets versus the New York Knicks. So that's the game that they cut away from. Yeah, it was the year Jordan

retired. In between. Oh, wow. That one away from yeah wow yeah yeah it was the year jordan is the year jordan retired is the one yeah in between in between yeah oh wow that one yeah yeah it's pretty crazy all that stuff going on and then and then for you're cut away to a new story to then also be an athlete yeah like you know it's not a random. It's the biggest athlete. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy. Crazy, man. People's Court probably.

Is that considered reality? Yeah, I guess that could be. All those, like, Judge Judy, all those type shows. That's her other. Yeah. There's 400 of them on her DVR. Yeah. People's Court.

Yeah, I guess that would be considered reality. So the Masked Singer, they have to keep the celebrity secret. They have to sign nondisclosure agreements, of course. But anybody, production staff, cannot use their phone. I guess they're afraid they'll take a picture or something. If they do have to use their phone, they have to wear what they call a shame sash. They have to put on a pageant towel type sash the reason being is you got to really have to want to use your phone if you're going to put this thing on i don't watch this show i don't you guys watch this one no yeah

you do uh no yeah but i think it's fun i think the idea of it i think i was going to try to watch it because i thought har Harper might think it's fun. But I, you know, Nick, I think Nikki Glaser was just on it. Really? She was on days with the stars too.

Yeah. She'd been on all of them. Yeah. They do a reality show awards every year and America's got talent. I mean, not America's got talent. Amazing race one, like every year for like the first seven years. Yeah. We used to watch the amazing race a lot. year for like the first seven years. Yeah, we used to

watch the Amazing Race a lot. You and Laura would do it. Yeah. We weren't going to do it. I'm joking about it. But it was,

we watched that. Yeah, the Amazing Race was great. Yeah. Have you heard Zach Galifianakis' joke about that? No.

He goes, the Amazing Race, I thought that was a show about white people. Yeah. Old joke. Not mine, by the way. Old joke.

You've got mail. From 2003 to 2007, American Idol was the number one show on television and the number two show on television because it aired two different nights. So like Tuesday night and Wednesday night. That's right. It was the number one and number two show. And a couple of those years, Dancing with the Stars was the third, fourth, and fifth highest rated show because it aired three nights a week.

Would you do Dancing with the Stars if they asked you? I don't think so. On the back end of your career, maybe. Coming up or coming down, would you? Going down. Whatever happened to Nate Bargatze? He was on Dancing with the Stars last year. Yeah, all right.

Didn't he? Well, he was a stand-up, wasn't he? I think so. Like, if that's the thing, like, now you're so good at it that you go off and tour. Worldwide, you're known as the dance machine. Yeah. I think I know the work that, like, even just being on it. Do you know? you're known as yeah the dance machine the dance machine yeah I can see that I think I know the work

that like it goes like even just being on do you know like being on a TV show or something like that you're like I don't I just can't imagine

having the time it's a big chunk of your life yeah so maybe if I you asked me when I think I could have the time my answer could be completely different

but I yeah now you're like it just seems like I would do it. I would totally do it. I wouldn't be good now just because I'm older. I would have been good 20 years ago. But now I would still do it just because you know you'd be getting in shape.

Yes. They're just basically paying you to work out. Yeah. So there's exposure. Yeah. There's health reasons. You could be. Inval did it.

Adam Carolla did it Jeff Ross did it yeah Cardi B was on a reality show that's really oh wow 11 hip hop

yeah that's pretty big the Miz the wrestler yeah yeah I remember so I remember him doing it and wanting to be

a wrestler yeah and talked about his dream of being the champion and now he's the main one of the main guys yeah And now he's the main, one of the main guys,

right? One of the top guys. One of the champ. Yeah. I don't think I can ever get that out of my head that he was on there. So it doesn't feel, I didn't know that till I read it. Yeah.

I've to me, it's like, I never latched onto the Miz. Cause it was like, I thought it was like a joke. You always know people from their first. Yeah. And you're like, Oh,

you're like that guy from, and so like, I don't take him as serious as being like one of the other ones. Right. But I mean, yeah, he's huge.

Yeah. Yeah. It's probably a good place to stop. Yeah. Yeah, probably a good place to stop. All right. Saddest part of the week. Saddest part of the week.

Oh, man. All right, we, Good times, boys. Yeah, so this is coming out the week of the Super Bowl. I'll be in Las Vegas. Super Bowl, Bills, Cowboys, Bills win. And they make the last second field goal.

How about they – That's good. No, that'd be amazing. That's good. It's too good. I say – No, you said Giants, right? No, I said I didn't know either. Okay.

But I'm going to – I like this one better. It's more fun. Yeah. Bills, Cowboys. And I say – actually, I changed it. No field goal. They – it's a third and something, and they score,

so they don't have to score the field goal. So they take the field goal out of it, and they win. So, yeah. Which are people – Okay. Which we're still predicting the game. So, I mean, it could be a different thing. I like it better if it's Bills Cowboys.

Overtime. Last minute kick. The guy who misses all of them redeems himself and kicks the longest field goal of all time. How about this? Bills Cowboys. Cowboys missed a field goal. That's funny. That's hilarious. That guy's already missed a bunch of field goals.

That's what I'm saying. It's either great for him or the war. I don't know. He would kill it. But that would be better if it was the Giants, Dan, because that was the game where he missed was against the Giants. Oh. Yeah, but we're talking about the actual Cowboys kicker

who just missed five extra points. I know, but he could miss them against the Giants. I say it happens, but it happens with the Cowboys and not Giants. So there is correlation. It's just not the exact team. Okay. with the Cowboys and not Giants. So there is correlation. It's just not the exact team. Okay. But the Cowboy misses the field goal. I'd actually like to see the Jaguars win all of it.

Yeah, yeah. There you go. It's not as exciting. Well, it's already happened. I don't know what to tell you. Yeah. Let's go play some bets. This weekend, I think I'm off.

But next weekend, I'm at Helium in Indianapolis, Friday, Saturday. Nice. Yeah. Come see me there. Nice, too. I am in Omaha, Nebraska this weekend at the Omaha Funny Bone. I've never done comedy in Nebraska. It's one of the last few states I've never been to.

So I'm excited about that. Charlottesville, Virginia next week. Asheville, North Carolina the week after that. Come out and see me. Thank you. You will love Omaha. Yeah, it's what Virginia next week. Asheville, North Carolina the week after that. Come out and see me. You will love Omaha. February 11th I'm going to be performing in Cornelius, North Carolina.

Brand new performing arts theater. Tickets at johnrape.com. There's more tour dates up there. I'm playing Glasgow. Kentucky. Still the same thing. Plaza Theater, Glasgow, Kentucky.

Still hard to get to. Yes. Yes. No peace treaties will be signed, but it will be peaceful and fun. JohnReap.com for all my tour dates. Listen to my podcast from time to time, Country-ish. Yeah. Nate's been on it.

You've been on it. I'll be asking you, didn't you try to run for mayor? Yes. I was going to run for mayor of Hickory until I realized I don't live in Hickory. This just in. All these years, I've been sitting here talking about Hickory, Hickory, Hickory. I go down to the Register of Deeds. By the way, I already knew the answer. I was just trying to get publicity just for fun. I dressed up in a seersucker suit. I called the radio station. I called

the newspaper. I said, you want to come down to watch me throw my hat in the ring to run for mayor? They're like, oh, that'd be cool. Charlotte news vans are showing up. I'm out in the parking lot giving a little interview, and I walk in, and I knew the answer. And I walked in, and I was like, yep, John Reap. I'd like to run for mayor. And they go, okay, what's your address? I give them my address.

The guy's like, you're not eligible. I'm like, what are you talking about? He's like, yeah, you actually live right outside the district. He showed me the map. Like, this is the actual downtown city of Hickory Park, and you're just over here. So you cannot run from there. And I looked right at the camera.

I went, whoopsie. Guy got in his van and drove back and out of Charlotte. But I knew that going in. But the weird thing about this whole story, the current mayor, he lives further away from Hickory than me. He just annexed his house. So if you look at the map, you'll see it's one big weird-looking thing. That's a jigsaw.

That's one piece. One little piece way over here, mayor's house. That's what gerrymandering is? That's gerrymandering, yeah. Yo, that's what that means? Gerrymandering is, yes, to carve up the shape of the districts to benefit yourself. To benefit you. Wow.

And that's what he did. And he's not even, it's an island by itself. Crazy. It's not even connected. So I'm like. They're not connecting the dots. They're not connected. The dots are not connected.

There you go. Yeah. Drop the mic, dude. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. dots are not connected. There you go. Yeah. Drop the mic, dude. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. All right, folks.

Thank you to our sponsors, ZocDoc, BetterHelp, Athletic Dreams, and DraftKings. Don't forget to use our promo code, Nate. Dusty is at Sidesplitters in Tampa this weekend. All right. Oh, yeah. It's a good one, too. I'm sure they're having a good time. Yeah.

All right. We love you. And, John, thanks for coming on, buddy. Thank you, Nate, for having me. You guys, thank you. All right. We'll see you next week. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Nate Land is produced by Nate nateland productions and by me nate bargetzi and my wife laura on the audio boom platform recording and editing for the show is done by genovations media thanks for tuning in be sure to catch us next week on the nateland podcast