The Nateland Podcast - 139: #139 The Return of Greg Warren
Episode Date: March 8, 2023This week, our old friend Greg Warren is back! The guys perform a Pringles crumb experiment, get Greg's thoughts on the Jif peanut butter recall, and weigh the pros and cons of a proposed hyperloop ac...ross Missouri. Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - Nateland@NateBargatze.com Athletic Greens - AthleticGreens.com/Nate If you’re looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/nate. That’s athleticgreens.com/nate. Check it out. Better Help - BetterHelp.com/Nate This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at BetterHelp.com/Nate and get on your way to being your best self. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/NATE today to get 10% off your first month. Fabric Insurance - MeetFabric.com/Nate Protect your family today with Fabric by Gerber Life. Apply today in just 10 minutes at meetfabric.com/nate. That’s meetfabric.com/nate. Policies issued by Western-Southern Life Assurance Company. Not available in certain states. Prices subject to underwriting and health questions. Starbucks Ready to Drink Starbucks Coffee, ready for right now. Shop the full line-up online or in-store, wherever you buy groceries.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, folks, and hey, bear, welcome to the Nate Land podcast.
Welcome, everybody.
I'm Nate Bargetti, soon Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, and filling in for the old Dusty Slay,
the original Dusty Slay, Greg Warren.
Greg Warren is back.
Everybody loved you when you were on, so they wanted us to have you back.
It's a lot of pressure, man.
Here we are.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, it was great the first time, so now we're going to let people really see.
You were on episodes
98, 99,
and then we announced
Dusty as our new host
on the 100th episode.
Yeah.
I heard something about that.
Yeah.
I'm a Dusty fan.
Well, he's not a fan of yours.
Is that right?
No, he does not care for you.
He's here in town.
He's just like,
I'm skipping.
We told Dusty
we put the offer out to Greg.
We're waiting to hear
what Greg says.
Greg. You're waiting to hear what Greg says. Greg.
You know what?
I was trying to negotiate with Nate, and Dusty came in and undercut me.
I'm trying to keep it cordial.
Yeah.
Never overplay your hand.
He lives in a trailer park.
It's hard not to undercut.
Yeah. Greg wanted me to pay for uh unleaded dusty drives diesel and i go i gotta go i gotta go diesel yeah and that's what
that's what's sending over the edge uh welcome everybody glad you are here uh uh we're back
in here because we're about to we're doing two today. Because I'm about to be gone.
Going to Europe.
Yeah.
Wednesday.
Have you done comedy in Europe before?
I've been to Dublin.
They had a festival, Vodafone Comedy Festival.
So I've done that.
But it was like, I didn't headline.
It was like just a bunch of comics over there.
Okay.
So this is the first headlining.
First time where you're selling tickets over there.
Yeah. And so I've only been to, I've only done Dublin. I haven't done anywhere else. So this is the first headlining. First time where you're selling tickets over there. Yeah.
And so I've only been to, I've only done Dublin.
I haven't done anywhere else.
So we're going to London and we're going London first, Harp and Laura going.
And then it'll be London.
We're being in London for like 24 hours.
Like it's like, cause I have a corporate show.
It's like a whole, that's, I have a corporate show Tuesday, tomorrow,
and then leave Wednesday nonstop to London out of Nashville.
I think it just started.
Just started.
You're coming up as a city.
Yeah, Spirit.
What?
It's half Frontier, half Spirit.
I'm coming up as a city.
Spirit takes you part of the way out,
and then y'all got to switch over to Frontier,
and then Frontier carries the rest of the load.
No, I think British Airways, American.
Okay.
And then so we leave at like 7 p.m. and get there like 8 in the morning,
and then I have a show that night in London.
Wow.
And so I got to hope I'm not going to be all just messed up.
I mean, but I should be good.
So London, and then we go to Dublin the next day.
So it's going to be, we're not going to really get to spend any time in London.
But we're going to get in as much as we can get in.
London, Dublin, then Oslo, and Amsterdam, Belgium.
Wow.
Are you worried at all?
I was thinking about this.
Do you ever,
do you go through your act in your head and think like,
what,
what does not going to make sense here?
And let me say this next,
next week's episode is about Europe.
So let's don't go too far.
Oh,
that's a good point.
Yeah.
Oh,
okay.
All right.
So we're,
we're,
we're away.
Talk about it.
All right.
Yeah.
Cliffhanger.
Is Scandinavia part of Europe?
Oslo's in Norway, and that's part of Europe, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I can't save it for next week, Greg.
You're on this episode, too.
Yeah, you're on next week's episode, too.
Yeah, I just said it, Greg.
This is why we didn't go with you.
I know.
Yeah, Dusty would have nailed this.
Stuff like this. Stuff like this. Dusty, man man that guy knows that scandinavia is part of europe he's always known there's a way
to talk about it when not to talk yeah that's really the key yeah as no one to shut up yeah
yeah hey you said when maybe don't wear a usa hat on the day of europe see but you did right
because today's not europe yeah yeah. Don't wear it next week.
I got European hat for this next one.
Yeah.
You said you were like worried that you'd be,
might be messed up for the London.
Jet lag.
Yeah.
Are you,
I worry about that a lot,
but then I realized I'm a little better sometimes when I'm messed up.
Like,
I think I'm funnier when I'm,
I kept putting in wrestling terms. Cause I was like, Oh, I'm going to be tired. I'm not up. Like, I think I'm funnier when I'm, I kept putting it in wrestling terms
because I was like, oh, I'm going to be tired.
I'm not going to wrestle well.
And I transferred that over to stand up.
And then I realized when I'm tired, I'm pretty good.
Yeah.
Maybe I don't push as hard or whatever.
You don't push that hard anyway.
Yeah.
But I, yeah, maybe I'm just.
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, like it is, I always, I think about that too with people being tired because, you know, before big games or something, or you like, you know, like you got the World Braves World Series.
Like, you know, like, well, those guys sleep great the night before.
You're like, they can't all just be like, I got a perfect day.
Like, I think they're all just a little like you're kind of you know gassed up and
yeah it's hard to sleep and the adrenaline carries you through i'm sure yeah and you get out there
and you're like you're kind of tired and you're you know you just have like then you have like a
like a crash yeah after that when we shot the special i couldn't sleep the night before yeah
and i was and usually i'd panic and i woke up and i was like now this is gonna be terrible like i
was trying to do a crossword puzzle and I'm good at crossword puzzles.
I couldn't do it.
And I was like,
well,
I don't,
I don't have it today.
That's your test.
When you wake up,
you do a crossword puzzle,
New York times crossword puzzle.
I was like,
I don't have it.
I'm not going to,
I'm not going to be on tonight.
This is going to be,
this whole thing is going to fall apart.
And then I was like,
no,
this has happened 10 times in the last two months.
And you've been better when, when you're not, you didn't have it.
And I also, I didn't do a caffeine for about three months before the special.
And I was like, on the day of the special, I'm going all in.
And I went to, I went to the Starbucks and I got my buddy, Tim, who opened for me at
the special.
He was like, I go, Hey man, I'm going to go grab this stuff.
Will you get me a Emperor's Cloud tea? I go, which has two tea bags in it. And I was like, and hey man i'm gonna go grab this stuff will you get me a um emperor's
cloud tea i go which has two tea bags in it and i was like and get two extra tea bags because i was
like i'm gonna bring them with me and then before the second show i'm gonna go again okay can you
buy a loose tea bag yeah they'll give you they'll give you their package package so i get there and
he gives me the the thing i go uh hey, where's the other two teabags?
He goes, they're in there.
Oh.
It was four teabags.
I made a pitcher's worth of tea in one cup.
And I hadn't had caffeine in three months.
And I was like, I don't do drugs, but I understand the lure of the drug.
I was in all the way.
It felt good?
Oh, it was great, man.
I tell you guys, if you're going to record something, get off of caffeine for a while and then do it that day.
Then get back on the supercar.
Oh, man.
It's amazing.
Yeah.
They tell people they have drug problems.
Yeah.
They go, just get off of it a little bit and then come back hard.
It'll be even better.
It'll be better.
I don't think they tell them that, Nate.
Yeah.
You think your generation is the last of the crosswords?
That's for sure.
Yeah.
Like that you're, you know, you're.
I don't see where we're drastically in a different generation.
You have a physical newspaper?
You and Brian.
Yeah.
Do you have like a physical newspaper?
Like when y'all do fantasy football on your newspaper.
Go ahead.
Brian and Greg.
I want to say something about this and i'll get when uh we were choosing
music for the special uh i sent something and nate was like hey i got a um i got a better idea
i have a vision for it um i want this graphic and my guy has this i'm thinking sort of like a dick
van dyke yeah tv thing and I emailed back, this is great,
but do you think that I'm the same age as Dick Van Dyke?
Yeah, I do crosswords on the app, man.
On the app, okay.
Yeah, it's a pretty hip thing.
As a matter of fact, I read that like the, who are the new people?
Wordle? No, not the, I mean, not the – who are the new people? Wordle?
No, not the – I mean, not Gen X, but the next one.
Gen Z?
It's Gen Z.
Millennials.
Millennials.
The millennials are doing crossword puzzles on the – like to be hip,
they're doing it with a pencil.
On actual newspaper.
Yeah, that's cool.
It's like a hip thing.
Yeah.
Millennials are old too now, though.
Really?
Yeah.
Millennials are – I mean, 40. I'm like a hip thing. Yeah. Millennials are old too now though. Really? Yeah.
Millennials are, I mean, 40.
I'm on the cusp of it.
I'm like my joke.
I'm in the middle of it.
Okay.
Of Gen X and millennial.
I'm directly in the middle.
And so I could technically, some places you could argue I am a millennial or some say I'm a Gen X.
Okay.
But.
Which would put you in the same generation as me.
Yeah.
We're a different,
you're at the top floor and I'm barely getting in the door. I'm knocking on baby boomers.
We're just three Gen Xs around here. Y'all are in it. Y'all know you're way around the Gen X
building. Y'all are like, no, no, over here. Nate, that's not how you do it.
What is this coffee? You just got a pot of coffee.
Always someone's got a full pot.
There's no just individual cups.
No, no.
It's a pot brewing.
Were you one of the last millennials?
I feel like my age is the quintessential millennial.
When people make fun of millennials, they're typically talking about people my age.
You get it.
Yeah, I get it exactly for sure.
Yeah.
30 to 32. But Gen Z is 20s, right? I'm typically talking about people my age. You get it. Yeah, I get it exactly for sure. Yeah. Yeah.
30 to 32.
But Gen Z is 20s, right?
Yeah.
So you barely, if you were a little bit younger, you'd be a Gen Z, right? Gen Z's after millennial.
Mm-hmm.
If he was younger than that, he'd be less.
You know what I'm saying?
If you were a little bit older, you'd be a boomer.
That's true.
That's true.
That is true.
Yeah. little bit older you'd be a boomer that's true that's true that is true uh yeah it's uh
year but you're you're the music that we chose the the the the title and everything is i think that's what that's what i like that no i love it i just wanted to make clear that dick and dyke
it did say yeah yeah yeah it fits in there which, which is special. We're announced the exact day, but Vecchione is in March,
and Greg will be in April.
Nice.
So towards the end of those months, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, March, April.
And so, yeah, I'm super excited for it to come out because it's great.
Oh, thanks.
It's great.
It was great man
yeah
super fun
it's just great
it's just a good time
and we did Joe's
this weekend
and what I like is
between you
Mike and Joe
they're all very different
specials
they're all very fun
but it's nice
because they're all
very different feeling
they're very different
you know
it's not like
it's just the same thing
going out it's like it's just the same thing going out.
It's really going to be great.
Yeah, it was awesome, man.
Joe and Mike are
I saw some of Mike's. It's outstanding.
I haven't seen Joe's yet, obviously, but
Joe's one of my favorite comics.
I'm super pumped.
It'll be exciting. We'll pump it hard, dude.
It's going to be great.
It's going to be great.
So, we can't talk about Europe. Yeah, it'll be exciting. We'll pump it hard, dude. It's going to be great. It's going to be great.
So we can't talk about Europe.
No.
And then where was I at this week?
Oh, we did Joe's special in Asheville.
Looks like you had a UFC party.
I had a UFC watch party.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Yeah, it was pretty awesome.
So they asked me to do it.
It'll be coming out on YouTube.
I think they're YouTube.
They might do clips or something.
But when I was in Vegas, I got to meet Dana White.
Really?
Yeah, he's the best.
I mean, he was awesome there.
I know people have feelings about stuff. But just my experience.
I did not get hit.
Oh, yeah. I don't get hit. Oh, yeah.
I met his wife.
It was very nice.
Dana's sober now.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, you know.
That'll do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Really hit rock bottom.
And then, so, yeah, we did a watch party.
The UFC fight was great i was
john jones yeah it was bow nickel on that yeah bow one quick yeah bow no one talked about it
like look like you got a little groin hit in there like the start of the fight he he does a knee
and i i you know they try to use a knee to like the inner thigh and all that kind of stuff
and it looked like it was a groin shot and the ref didn't caught the naturals didn't talk about it
and then Bo got him down and then the submission I mean his submissions are just insane he gets
it's a very like there's submissions you're like I don't even know what's going on they're just on
and then the guy just taps and uh so but not to take you the way bo was
great but it it was one of those where you're like i wish you know when you know when you watch sports
and you see something and then they just they don't see it right it drives you yeah and then
you feel crazy yeah you're like am i not i mean i'm looking it up on twitter i'm like trying to
like look at it like just being like am i, am I the only one that saw that?
Because you think the announcers are going to announce it.
Sometimes you can tell in football when they're clearly just watching it
from not on TV, but from the upper deck,
because we'll see something, like you said, that they don't.
And then they'll show the replay, and then they notice it.
We're like, well, we saw it the first time.
And you're like, I should be announcing this game.
Yeah, I do think so.
I'm seeing stuff they don't.
Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes're like, I should be announcing this game. Yeah, I do think so. I'm seeing stuff they don't. Yeah.
Yeah, and sometimes they still don't see it.
That's even gets the most frustrating.
I mean, when they still – you know, mine was always the Dez Bryant.
They said it was a catch.
Remember the famous – was it Dez Bryant, the Green Bay Packers,
when he – Cowboys playing the Packers.
And it was the one they say he fumbled.
That it wasn't a catch.
That it wasn't a catch.
Yeah.
And I – people got crazy about it, but I would always watch that,
and I was like, I kind of got why they didn't call it a catch.
I just always kind of got it.
Like, not saying that it was or it wasn't or they should or they shouldn't
but i could and sometimes i like when you hear people talking about it you're like when you
someone's are you want to go like but can you acknowledge why you see why they would have done
sure sure like you can be like we can argue if it's a catch or not but like it's i feel like
when the argument just goes it's a hundred percent that's completely wrong but you're like
no no but you see right like Like the ball came out and like all
this kind of stuff we can, you can argue that now, but at least that's like when
arguing, you're like, just acknowledge, like I understand.
Acknowledge I'm not crazy for disagreeing.
Yeah. But that's the, especially sports media.
Yeah.
Having, you got to have a take man and you got to have that take hard.
Yeah.
You don't say, well, it could or couldn't be.
Yeah.
You got to just be like, no, it's definitely not, and here's why.
It's unreasonable.
It's the worst of all time, I'd say.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
The worst of all time.
This is the worst call of all time in whatever sports.
Organized sports, all of it.
Yeah, all of it.
Worst call in all of sports history. and whatever sports. Organized sports. All of it. Yeah. All of it. We're calling it
organized sports history.
Kids, my son's
little league team
to my daughter's
softball team.
Yes.
That Don Dinkager
calling the World Series,
that guy was safe.
No.
I mean.
No, he was not.
I mean, we can
dispute it.
I know exactly
what you're doing here,
but there's nobody
that thinks that. I just said I do. it. I know what you're doing here, man. We can dispute it, Greg. I know exactly what you're doing here, but there's nobody that thinks that.
No, I do.
I just said I do.
It's not like what Nate's saying.
Everybody – there was no replay back then, Bates.
There was replay, and I've seen it.
Yeah.
I mean, it was a – I can see why you think that.
I know why you're doing that, man.
It was safe.
I know exactly what you're doing.
Well, it was radio.
Go ahead.
No, I'm just saying that most commentators in sports commentary school,
they must be like, I don't care whether you think you're right or wrong.
You just have a take and you have an art.
When y'all would watch replays, would it be a drawing?
That's a reenactment.
Man, it took forever.
But some of these guys.
You're going to tell me that's out?
It's a story.
Yeah, and a lot of time it was the guys that can draw that faster,
the cartoon drawers, so they would all have big hands.
Caricatures.
It was like, I think he's out, but he's got a giant head.
They brought this guy in, this guy.
He used to work at Coney Island for 25 years.
He was the best of the best.
I mean, there it is right there.
Look, he's clearly safe.
We can't see the back.
And there's nobody that paints that, man.
I know why you're doing this, man.
That's the one call in my career.
And so they lost because of this.
Yeah.
Here's the thing.
Yeah, if they call him out, the game's over.
Yeah.
But it's like that thing with the Cubs.
Yeah.
They had plenty of chances that game to win it,
and then the next game they got killed.
So we were whining, but that guy got death threats.
We actually talked about this last time you were here.
Oh, did we?
It is like the most egregious call in the world series.
Well, the first episode.
Why don't they show, can you see his foot?
Well, that's a terrible picture.
Why would they?
That's insane.
If you're watching this and not listening to it.
Well, I'm saying if you're watching, you can see.
But it's like showing the stretch, but you do not see the base.
You don't see the – like the person that wrote this article,
how does someone not go, hey, man, we just can't –
you're not going to work here anymore.
You think the talk that they had with the guy was like,
listen, man, do you see what's wrong here?
Because the main issue of this, really, all you would have had to show is the feet.
We don't even need the, yeah, but I don't know, man.
I just think artistically.
He goes, I don't know what cropping means.
He goes, I don't know what cropping means.
You go, but you've got to talk to someone younger, dude. Like, that can help you crop this in.
Yeah, but do you see how I got his facial expression?
He goes, but you could see it.
Because then you really want to go, where's the base?
Yeah.
Either that or the guy kind of realized, like, you understand that you can't see the base.
He's like, yeah, yeah, no, no.
He goes, but my words describe the base. Man, I blew it. Yeah, it's open got that. He goes, but my words describe the bass.
Man, I blew it.
Yeah, it's open for interpretation.
Yeah.
This article's written so well, you don't even need a picture.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is there not a better picture?
I'll find it.
Well, we showed video last time.
Here's one from a different angle.
Yeah.
It'd be great if there was nine pictures without the base all by the same guy yeah
looks safe to me dude yeah i mean yeah yeah no you're just saying i know i know it's clearly out
it's a terrible foots on the bag balls in the glove he's about a foot above the base but what
like i do think those guys all have to say they have to take a position and take it hard i think
they do that yeah politics too which is there's no room for yeah the middle but i think like my brother when my brother used to ref
little league soccer games when he was in college and he said he was like one ref for the whole
field and the ball would go and he'd have no idea whether it was out or not out but he was like
that ball is out right there like you have to, you have to, if you're going to make a call,
make it with authority.
And just commit to it.
Yeah, yeah, commit, yeah.
I was thinking about that with refs last night.
Like I was, or I saw like a clip of that.
You see the guy, and like I want to say it was maybe Iowa
or something, basketball, and there's a,
the coach is just staring at the ref because he didn't like the call.
We went back to like the ref thing, have we talked about the refs?
It's like I feel bad for these refs.
Oh, yeah.
You want to go, I know, but you're like, dude, they're not getting paid.
They're getting paid a fair amount.
Not enough to be like, here's your thing.
No one likes you.
So here's the field that you pick.
You pick a job that everybody hates you, and they hate you.
Not they don't like you.
It's like, oh, no, that guy annoys me.
They want your family dead.
And then coaches are allowed to just ridicule you, and they might be wrong.
And if they get proven that the ref was right and they were wrong,
the coaches do not
have to come say i'm sorry or anything and shut and say like you did a great job uh everybody
every and everybody just trashes these guys and uh it's yeah it's really like i the the whole idea
around it and the idea they get treated like second-class citizens.
It's very gross.
And I understand being – you can get upset about a call, but you're like, it's a person, dude.
It's a human.
So don't be the most – like that guy, they said that that ref got death threats. He did, yeah.
It was terrible.
It's embarrassing.
The guy who sinned a lot.
I don't feel good about it.
I was a kid.
But, I mean, back then, it's like, you know, it's like the way he looked at it, whatever.
It's like, you know, it's like, I mean, the guy probably felt terrible, I'd imagine.
And then, you know, and I get, you know, now it's like refs are like trying to make it all about them sometimes or whatever.
And some people get annoyed at that.
I don't know.
I just, refs should be, like, they should be treated better.
But there's a tradeoff, right?
They get to work in a fast-paced, exciting industry.
Their hours are good.
Their uniforms provided for.
I don't think they get paid that much money.
Are you recruiting for something right now?
I'm just trying to take the opposite position here.
Yeah.
I mean, you've got to look.
There's probably 20 of them
that make a real living.
No, no.
Not umpires, man.
Baseball umpires
make about $400,000.
Well, I was thinking
about college level.
Even, okay.
MLB.
They make a ton of money.
So if you, yeah,
if you get to that level,
but there's not that many,
but then anything below that
is you're volunteering.
Oh, yeah, man. Oh, yeah. Big difference between like a little league umpire. But I still not that many. But then anything below that is you're volunteering. Oh, yeah, man.
Oh, yeah.
Big difference between like a little league umpire.
But I still think that baseball, I mean, still even 400, your life is just on the road and whatever.
It's just like show some appreciation.
That's all I'm saying.
Like, let's acknowledge, like, let's go through it and be like, how many calls have refs got wrong versus right?
You know, if someone could do that to go like, look, guys, they're 95% right.
Yeah.
And I get that they've missed these calls, but that 5% is part of the game.
And so let's, yes, be mad, do all this stuff, but it's got to leave it.
Like a coach, you can't go humiliate another person.
That's so gross. You just can you can't go humiliate another person. That's so gross.
You just can't.
Don't humiliate another person.
Like, that's who are you to humiliate another guy?
And they're all, I mean, they're all lying to get whatever they want.
The coach, they'll say.
To get a call later.
Yeah, I mean, when a player touches the ball and the ref doesn't see it,
they don't go, I actually touched it. Yeah, I mean, when a player touches the ball and the ref doesn't see it, they don't go, I actually touched it.
Yeah, yeah.
They make it up, and they just act like nothing happened.
Because, look, they might not realize that they touched it,
or they don't know what happened,
so why would you come over and say something?
Because I always thought that,
would you ever come tell the truth and be like,
no, I touched that?
But then sometimes you could be like,
you think you touched it or maybe something,
but maybe you didn't, or it's in the moment, you didn't realize it.
Yeah.
So, like, yeah, it's like, don't say anything.
But they really treat them like the enemy.
They treat them, you know, like they're the ones that invented this sport.
And they're, you know, and you're like, you're the problem.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's like, no, no, no.
They're just out there.
Well, Dusty would say they're getting told what to do.
Yeah.
Dusty thinks it's all rigged, so they're great actors.
No, yeah, I don't think it's all rigged.
I did it.
I refed a wrestling match one time.
Yeah.
It was when I was living in Texas.
I was out of college, and my friend was reffing,
and he called me late on a Friday.
He's like, hey, dude, there's a tournament tomorrow.
And I,
we,
we,
one of our refs can't make it.
And I was like,
man,
I don't,
I don't want to.
And I,
and I was like,
all right,
I'll,
it was an all day tournament and I'd wrestled in college.
So I knew,
kind of knew the rules,
you know,
they probably had changed it or whatever.
So I showed up and I went right away.
It was,
I went and bought a referee's Jersey,
you know,
the black and white,
but I bought like a football.
I brought the wrong Jersey. I had like a long sleeve referee's jersey, you know, the black and white. But I bought like a football. I bought the wrong jersey.
I had like a long sleeve referee's jersey.
Who cares, right?
So I showed up and right away they're all making fun of me.
What are you doing, man?
They're like, you look like an idiot.
I'm like, man, I don't want to be here.
I don't want to do this.
And then I just start reffing and those coaches.
And I knew some of these guys because I was coaching.
They were all riding me.
And I was like, I'm going to fight them.
I never reffed one match it was awful man they were they were yelling at me and they were like
like that's not the rule and i'm like yeah i guess it's not i didn't know i didn't know
well that's yeah but that's the the the the problem is that you want to go uh you're like
i'm volunteered yeah you know what you could have done?
Not had this match today.
Right.
Yeah.
And it's like, so I understand, like, there just has to be some rational thought is, you
know, and you got to, you just want that.
You want to be like, is everybody coming to this rationally?
I don't want to do this.
I'm doing this as a complete, I'm doing it as a favor.
So much so that I, and this is how much I don't want to do this. I'm doing this as a complete, I'm doing it as a favor. So much so that I,
and this is how much I don't want to do it.
I had to go buy a jersey.
Yeah.
So I have to spend,
so I had to wake up,
go spend money that I didn't think it was
because I'm just trying to,
all right,
I don't want the match not to happen.
It was hot too, man.
I could see why it was the wrong jersey.
Yeah.
I was sweating the whole time.
It was bad.
I'd like to be a professional wrestling referee.
Those guys. No one pays attention to you. You get distracted to be a professional wrestling referee. Those guys.
No one pays attention
to you.
You get distracted
while their guys are
doing something.
Yeah, but they get
taken advantage of a
lot.
I know.
That's why I think
I'd be perfect for it.
Yeah, you would.
You've got experience
a lot.
Yeah, yeah.
But they're going to
come at you hard.
I could try.
That guy gets no
respect.
Yeah.
That's like, I
noticed.
Sign me up, coach.
I did a thing on BET early in my career, a comedy thing.
And I went on tour with these guys for a little while.
And man, I'll tell you who gets zero respect in the comedy industry is the DJ at a black
comedy show.
Those guys, it's part of their thing.
They all get up there
and the DJ
and they'll be like,
give it up to DJ.
I mean,
I told him not to play that track.
I told him,
and the guys,
and then they just,
and then I think those guys
at some point
are going to go on strike
and he's like,
no,
he did tell me to play that.
He told me to play that
just so he could go up
and say he didn't say
to play that,
man.
Those guys.
They got to tell him to cut it.
Yeah, yeah. And then they might tell him to bring it back and you got to be on. Those guys. They got to tell him to cut it. Yeah, yeah.
And then they might tell him to bring it back.
You got to be on.
Yeah, those guys got to be on.
And they get, man, they take a lot of abuse on those guys too.
Yeah.
That's a rough, that's like being a professional wrestling referee.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Give it up for DJ.
This dude, man, I tell you.
Cut it, DJ.
Cut it.
How many shows have you done where you've had to
cut it
me personally
have you ever tell them
I've done this
yeah
yeah yeah yeah
because I've done
black shows
and you know
and I always let it
linger out
because it's always
some rap song
that's
and then I come out
you know
yeah
yeah that's smart
hard out here for a pimp
and then I'll come out
and they all laugh
and I always like surprise you know whatever and then eventually I'll do that.
But I've worked with guys who their whole act is, like you said, you've got to be on because they're going to tell you somewhere in the show, hit it, DJ.
Yeah.
I think that's the right thing to do.
When I was on that BET show, those guys, they'd play music coming up to the stage and all those guys i was like the only white guy that season on this thing and everybody would
just dance you know they'd be dancing and i'm terrified of dancing like i i can't i so i mean
i come out of the cut cut cut cut like as i'm walking like please don't let me have to do this
yeah but i should have leaned into it like you. Yeah. I didn't dance, but yeah.
Yeah.
I would love to see that, though.
Yeah.
That would be the door opens.
I picture the door opening at Zany's, and you're just like.
No, no, no, no, no.
Already like, well, he's not even on the stage.
No, no, no.
Please, please don't let anybody see this.
I danced once at a black church.
What?
They brought me up and made me dance before my set.
I killed it, to be honest with you.
Yeah, I was doing a show there.
Yeah.
And before my part, they called it a step-off or something,
where they brought people up and they danced.
And they brought me up.
Is there a video of this?
Somewhere, I think.
But I went for it, and it killed because it was so bad.
But then I had to go do a set right after.
Did you commit to doing it?
I committed.
That's the thing you got to do. I was making a a calculation in my brain what would be the funniest thing to do here
would be like over commit try where it's really bad yeah and it went pretty well but yeah there's
pictures of video out there somewhere i don't i never want to see well maybe the least embarrassing
thing is to over commit to probably like it's like yeah because if you if you don't do it it's
like well now it's just
embarrassing for everybody and i have to do a set right after this too so yeah i want to play along
yeah yeah oh oh that's fine that would be my nightmare you know what you need almost i'd walk
in and just try to be the most like if i felt anything like that was happening, I'd be like, no. Yeah.
You're not going to go, you know.
Did y'all have anything you wanted to say? I was in Bristol, Tennessee this weekend at Blue Ridge Comedy Club.
Had great shows, great crowds.
On my way home, I stopped at a gas station, and a woman said,
I know you, you're a comedian.
And I said, yeah, I am.
And she said, I saw you do a show a comedian. And I said, yeah, I am. And
she said, I saw you do a show once. She said, are you still doing it? And I said, yeah,
I'm actually home away, home away, home now. And I said, what show did you see me do?
And she said, it was with Henry Cho back in January. It was a month and a half ago.
It was January 15th.
This was March 5th.
Yeah.
Ask me if I was still doing it.
That is so funny, dude.
I would have thought 10 years ago when she saw you.
Wow.
You thought, that guy's on his way out.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
I think it was at your last show.
Yeah, I got to see
Brian Bates
when he finally hung it up.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
That was so funny.
Yeah.
So I was...
Good?
Yeah.
Did you see the lights?
Did you see the lights go down?
Yeah.
It was me.
I was like,
the stroke's happening.
It's happening.
Yeah.
It's the night
the lights went out in Georgia.
We could have just
not said anything and a couple of y'all's the night the lights went out in Georgia. We could have just not said anything
and a couple of y'all here would have thought
something went down.
Yeah.
Do lights go out a lot?
Do you see a lot of lights go out?
Do you guys think lights go out a lot?
I guess, maybe. I was thinking
about replay, though. I kind of remember when
it first started in sports.
Were you against it? Were you a purist?
The first time, I they'd just scored again.
Yes!
Their moves are much slower this time, by the way.
On a roll.
But now, I mean, now there's a million angles in Division III lacrosse game.
But back then it would be the World Series, and there's maybe three angles total.
Yeah, now you can still watch them.
I remember watching the old Vandy games where you're like, I'd be watching them on DirecTV,
like having the channel, and it's just a camera at the top.
Yeah.
Jefferson Pilot, what were those?
Oh, yeah.
Jefferson Pilot was good, though.
Yeah, JP Sports.
Jefferson Pilot was actually, that was like on CBS, right?
All right, maybe not Jefferson Pilot, actually – that was like on CBS, right? All right, maybe not Jefferson Pilot.
I'm thinking about – I'm thinking about the one that was always like on Channel 30,
like locally where the worst SEC game.
Yeah, your like announcer is like the guy there.
Yeah.
Like the guy who just lives there.
Jefferson Pilot I think was like – that was like Saturday morning.
Yeah, I always thought that was like the worst SEC game.
Yeah, we had to wait for JP Sports to get over with for the Notre Dame game to come on.
I think it was on NBC.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
At the time.
And it was always like Vanderbilt versus Mississippi State.
Yeah.
Jeez, dude.
All right, maybe I'm –
I'm going to sit through this nonsense.
Maybe I'll get on the step.
And I'm just on the edge of my seat.
Like, come on.
And they're like trying to go to Notre Dame.
You're like, give me a break.
That's very funny.
Yeah, so that's where I was.
I was in Wisconsin.
I did my first theater where I got my name on the marquee.
Look at that.
Wisconsin is in West Bend, Wisconsin at the Bend Theater.
Everyone there was great.
Their social media team has been super nice posting stuff.
But this really made me laugh. They did a little recap of the show last night we were absolutely blessed
with a night of great laughs by the tremendous aaron weber and his cpap so i have a joke where
i mentioned that i have a cpap machine but if you read this i mean it sounds like i bring it out on
stage like one of jeff dunham's puppets like i'm sitting on the stool like we do the act together
that really made me laugh i was like wow i think i mentioned it once you can't say that like in the
first five minutes maybe and then i did a lot more after that but that was the show was great thank
you for everybody that came out a lot of nateland people there is it just uh like when you walk out, you just... In darkness.
The light fades on.
You're the CPAP commercial?
You guys both have them, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Man, this is embarrassing, but I just went to have a sleep study.
It's not embarrassing.
Both of us have done it.
No, that's not embarrassing.
I haven't done it, so I think it's embarrassing.
We haven't even got to.
No, that's not the embarrassing part. I haven't done it, so I think it's embarrassing.
We haven't even got to.
So you go in and they hook like a bunch of wires up, like 100 wires up to you.
And they put a thing in your nostril and they put a thing in your mouth, a tube in your mouth.
And man, I pee a lot.
I just do.
And not just because I'm old.
It's like I always did.
When I was a kid, I just had to always pee.
My dad was like, are you kidding me?
So immediately I'm like, well, what if i got to go to the bathroom she's like well just you're just laying in there and there's a camera and you say i gotta go to the bathroom
they're listening to you yeah so i'm like in my mind i'm like oh no this is gonna be yeah it's
gonna be 10 times yeah because it's gonna get normally it's four but it's gonna get in my head
and then here's the thing like i guess as a kid you know i just go
even if i don't have to because i'm like well maybe i have to and i'm just maybe i will have
to or like just just in case that thing just in case i'm like so whenever i wake up i just go just
in case so um i'm freaking out i'm like oh no this is gonna be bad i go what if what happens
she goes well we come in and we unplug you and uh so I'm in there and I'm trying, I'm doing my crossword puzzle, trying to fall asleep.
And the lady comes over.
She's like, over the announcement, she's like, are you biting the tube?
I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm biting the tube.
She's like, well, stop it.
You don't want to bite the tube.
Like, okay.
So she comes in like an hour later.
She's like, I still can't sleep and she's like
hey you're biting the tube you got to stop biting the tube yeah like okay i go hey
long as you're in here let's just let's do the bathroom thing you know yeah and i mean it's not
where she just unhooks the thing you go bathroom it's like five minutes for me to go to the
bathroom to get unhooked and i go to the bathroom come back it's another five minutes to put me back
together and i'm like oh now this is gonna happen 10 times times yeah that's that's
like I'm not gonna sleep and I had a show the next day yeah and I was like this is this is bad news
and I told her right there I go hey this may not go down and she's like what what I'm like I I don't
know man I'm gonna try I'm gonna try my best I try for another hour and I just say out loud I'm going to try. I'm going to try my best. I try for another hour and I just say out loud. I'm like, I'm,
I'm going home.
I go,
I'm, she's like,
what?
I'm like,
yeah,
man,
I'm leaving.
Like,
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
And I,
I left,
I just left.
And I felt like such a coward.
I don't know.
I might leave too.
I left.
I'm doing it.
I'm going,
I'm going to,
I'm trying to go.
I think they didn't charge me.
How long ago was this?
I think two weeks.
Oh, wow.
Because my father-in-law just did a sleep study, and they let him do it at home.
Yeah, I did mine at home too.
No, I did mine at home.
Okay.
And she came to your house?
No, I did the at-home thing, and that didn't – it was inconclusive.
So they're like, you got to do the big one. No, I did the at-home thing, and that didn't – it was inconclusive.
So they're like, you got to do the big one.
So I emailed them back.
I was like, man, I'm sorry.
I just fleeked out that night.
I had a show.
I want to – I can't let this beat me, man. I want to try again.
So I may go again.
It was embarrassing, man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I know why I – my brother, Matt, does whatever he wants to do.
He's one of these guys who does whatever he wants to do.
And he one time, he's diabetic, and he was going in for a big surgery,
like some hernia surgery.
And he's like, hey, you guys, my blood sugar doesn't feel right.
Are you going to check it?
And they're like, no, no, you're fine.
Trust me.
He's like, man, I don't want to go under with my blood sugar.
And they're like, no, you're fine.
Trust me.
He goes, I'm leaving.
And he just left in the middle of his surgery. He just pulled his – he's like, I'm leaving. They're like no you're fine trust me he goes i'm leaving and he like he just left in
the middle of his surgery he just pulled his he's like i'm leaving they're like you can't leave this
is a big deal i was like no i'm leaving so i had that in the back of my head i'm like well matt
left surgery i could leave this yeah leave a sleep study so but i left that i left it and i feel like
such a i mean there's people that are in, I don't know how you could fall asleep, though.
And that was in my head.
Can you not take something, I guess?
I think maybe I will.
Maybe take a melatonin or something.
But then that probably affects your sleep. They're not getting a true read on your sleep.
Might affect the results, yeah.
Yeah, so I'm going to try again.
And this time, I'll just stay awake for the whole time if I have to.
And I'll get up and pee 10 times.
I feel like now I let it beat me but uh yeah because that's the you need that the person's never like probably happy
you're getting up to go pee because they gotta stay up exactly man they're they're they're
probably gonna be like oh that's fine but on the seventh one i'm like you're not it's not gonna be
fine with you yeah it's i'm a maniac anything to drink the thing is i'm a maniac
i i know i get in my head i'm like well do you gotta pee maybe you don't maybe as long as you're
up you might as well greg aaron i can go ahead and tell you you have sleep apnea we can tell
by looking at you yeah you know man the doctor said something the doctor i think that the whole
thing might be a shakedown because the doctor is like, open your mouth. I'm like, it's like, yeah, you got it.
Come on,
man.
He said,
yeah,
I'll tell you what,
90% of the people in the world need a CPAP.
I'm like,
I,
so God just made it.
So 90% of the world,
the people had to have a machine to like,
yeah,
but that's 90% is a little high.
I think so,
man.
He ruined,
he ruined it.
If he would have said 30.
So how do you know you're,
you have it like at home or when you think you have it?
Snoring and gasping for air and waking up.
Yeah.
You wake up and you feel like you haven't slept at all because you haven't.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a good indication.
I've,
I know plenty of people that you just look at them and you're like,
you,
if you don't,
you need one for sure.
There's no way you're sleeping better than I was. Is it my face is it no i don't i don't yeah you don't strike me as
one of those guys i think brian was joking what part of my face your c-pad face the whole yeah
your whole face yeah like the eyes yeah yeah he goes don't even you should open mouth he goes
i'm looking at you from across the street i would have told you he yeah he told me that i was standing in my office window and i watch and i go i bet that
guy's got c-pap and then you showed up in the office then i was like come on yeah he saw me
at starbucks right before and i was like this guy to come in you walked in i knew it no he asked me
he's like your dad a snorer i'm like yeah, yeah. He goes, yeah, you're definitely. Yeah, that's what he did with me too.
He goes, we got to go through the stuff, but you got this, man.
And I'm not sure I do because I think if I sleep on my side, I don't.
But I roll over to my back sometimes, and that's when I notice.
You ever wake up with a weird taste in your mouth?
Yeah, but it's because I was eating dark chocolate almonds before I went to bed.
Well, you got it.
You got it. And that's the first step is you start blaming stuff like that i had chocolate last week i licked a penny a couple weeks ago i went to uh that's not gonna
stay with you the whole time it's just when they're that that sure about it i get a little
suspicious i went to this dentist one time and uh so i was living in la a long time we only was
like oh yeah you you grind your teeth.
You definitely, you're a grinder.
You're going to have to get these mouthpieces.
And he goes, don't feel bad.
It's a lot of, a lot of people have it.
He pulled out like a people magazine.
I said, look at Mel Gibson.
He goes, grinder.
I can tell he's the sexiest man alive.
It was when he was like, when he was, before he,
you know,
flipped out,
he's like,
this guy's,
I can look at these guys right away.
I can spot a grinder anyway.
Yeah.
Because you're a grinder,
man.
You grind.
Yeah.
I have a joke about it.
Am I grinding?
Well,
that,
like that,
it was,
it hasn't ever really completely worked.
I've done it.
So I'm not going to say it.
I might still try it.
But the idea of that
like saying like
when a guy does it
it was like the first thing
where you're like
I don't care
like when they told
one dentist
he goes
you grind your teeth
and I'm like
I'm fine with it
like I don't care
like because it's
I'm not going to change
how I live at this point
yeah you got to wear the thing
and then you're like
how do you even know
and you're like
I don't know
I don't feel like
I wake up with my mouth sore or something.
It's like, no, you're doing it.
And the only time you can do it is when they're like, when do I do it?
Only when you don't know you do it.
You're like, well, now I don't believe any of this.
Yeah.
And also, if I am, you make more money, right?
If I'm a grinder, this tends to affect your business positively.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a whole thing.
All right, let's read some of these comments.
I think before we get to that, all you need is a little better help.
You do need better help.
Better help, you should sit and grind your teeth or that.
Talk it out.
Yeah.
Yeah, talk it out.
I'm always learning new things about myself and trying to get better in my uh relationships uh and i'm not trying to get
i'm not trying to make people deal with me better yeah uh that's how you should but that's why you
need better help because you shouldn't think that your your idea shouldn't be, I'm going to make people, you know, it's not me, it's them.
Yeah.
You can have that mindset.
That's not always good.
It's easier to fix yourself than the world.
You know who said that?
Me.
Michael Scott.
All right.
Let's read some of these comments.
Let's give these people some better help.
Yeah.
Brent Myers, having just watched Ken Burns' series on the history of country music,
I was excited when I saw the subject of this week's pod.
Listening to the show, however, reminded me how knowing something about the weekly topic
makes for a slightly more frustrating experience.
Yeah.
I could see that.
I could see that. Good, too. Now, I've seen frustrating experience. Yeah. I could see that. I could see that.
Good, too.
Now, I've seen that documentary.
Yeah.
I'd love to know what it was exactly we had wrong.
Yeah, Bran offers no specifics there.
I think it's the whole episode.
Just in general?
Yeah, all of it.
But I understand what he's saying.
I'd imagine that could be, like, if you just watch something,
then we talk about it.
Right.
And then you're like, just, because it's probably not,
you're not mad at, like, our opinions. You we talk about it. Right. And then you're like, just cause it's probably not, you're not mad at like our opinions or take,
you get what this is. Yeah.
We were idiots,
but it's,
but just like little stuff.
You're like,
well,
but that guy did that because of the,
you know,
we didn't know that.
You're like,
yeah,
that's true.
But it's like,
you know,
Ken Burns is like a nice healthy meal and we're at McDonald's.
You know, you don't tell everybody about us, but you're all coming.
Zach James.
I really wish you guys have touched on how many famous country singers are all related to each other.
It's an unbelievable number.
Also, I'm confused how Bates had teenage friends in the 90s.
That timeline seems skewed.
That's fair.
Because we talked about my friends who got into altercation with Tracy Lawrence in 1994 when they were teenagers.
They are younger than I am.
I only knew, I guess, I guess I knew two out of three guys, but they were younger than I was.
You still friends with them?
I mean, wait, how much older than we were?
They were probably about your age.
Oh, 43.
Back then.
I was a little older than them.
No, there's probably like seven years difference between us or something.
Big brother program.
So you were in college, but you were hanging out with like high school kids?
I think that's what Zach was getting at. Yeah, I think that's what Zach was school kids? I think that's what Zach was getting at.
Yeah, I think that's what Zach was getting at.
I think that is what Zach was getting at.
I mean, it was during the summer.
We're back home.
Oh, all right, man.
Yeah, it was just they live in my hometown.
Small town.
Yeah, but you're seven years older than me?
Yeah.
So you were seven years older than these kids?
I mean.
So that means, wait, were you in college?
Yes.
So you would have been 8, 20, 19, 18, 19?
Yeah.
And they were 12?
All right.
I believe that Wikipedia page said it happened in 1994.
1994, which you would have been 23.
Okay.
So I was 20.
So they were 17?
Yeah, 17, 18 high school kids.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, they're just smart.
I'm not saying we hang out every night, but I knew these kids.
Guys that are around.
It's a small town.
You know the families.
Yeah.
Right, right.
Okay.
Yeah.
Thing about high school, they stay the same age.
And then the other thing, what was he said about singers
related i mean i googled it i didn't see the brothers osborne or their brothers yeah yeah
those alabama guys were all related aren't they yeah but i mean i guess it's just kind of a the
statler brothers are related i wonder if they're all related like you know uh the allman brothers
like you know like there's i wonder if they're the Doobie brothers
the Doobie brothers
well they're not
well maybe the people
related to like
I'd imagine
he's talking about
even other bands
yeah
I mentioned
a couple weeks ago
when you weren't here
that Loretta Lynn
and Crystal Gale
are sisters
yeah
Dusty did not know that
I didn't know that
yeah
was that in the
Ken Burns documentary
I think I just knew that
might have been
well I wonder if it is crazy I wonder if they're all related but it's like Yeah. Was that in the Ken Burns documentary? I think I just knew that. Might have been.
Well, I wonder if it is crazy.
I wonder if they're all related, but it's like just different bands.
It's like, well, that guy's cousins of that guy in that band.
And you're like, oh, wow, that's crazy.
And you're like, it's all just, I'd imagine, yeah, I could see it being a lot.
Yeah.
McDaniel, oh, McDaniel A. Bowes, right?
I guess.
McDaniel A. Bowes.
I love the Bates. MC Daniela Bowes.
MC Daniela Bowes.
All right, I like that.
I love the Bates idea of a recent cover of the Dottie West song is from 24 years ago.
That is true.
Yeah.
That was back when you were hanging out in high school.
1999.
Yeah, bare, yeah.
Were you still hanging out with these high school kids?
So that would have been 30.
Might have been,
what year did that song come out?
I didn't have this song,
so it was before my time.
It was Jody Messina,
Somebody's Gonna,
it was that song
that Dusty was singing
last week.
Yeah,
okay.
I think it was 99,
so it might have been
more than 24 years.
It might have been 34 years actually, it was recent. So it might have been more than 24 years. It might have been 34 years.
That's the industry.
Anyway, let's not worry about it.
Captain Jim Shorts.
Aaron's saying country fans are the only fans who are defensive about their genre.
Couldn't be more wrong.
The man's not heard a couple of metalheads get into an argument.
Yeah, I think you're both talking about the same.
Yeah, but I'd imagine both are.
But yeah, metalheads, I'd imagine.
Yeah.
Like Slipknot fans or something like that, I guess that metal.
It's like they get super –
Sure, sure.
Because people are more angry at their music.
That's true.
It is a much angrier genre.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
But country I could.
The Des Moines, Iowa, man.
Those guys live across the street from my buddy.
Oh, really?
Slipknot does.
Slipknot?
Yeah.
They all live together?
No, I guess it's both.
They probably got families.
Probably one of them.
Yeah.
Probably normal.
They got an apartment together.
They got a normal neighborhood.
I thought it was just a guy, man.
I thought Slipknot
was a dude
but yeah
he's got a nice house
so we walked by his house
yeah
we walked by
Slipknot's house
hello Mr. Knot
Mr. Knot
real nice house
Slip
it's a five person band
I think
well some of these
there's like 30 people in it
and they wear masks
yeah
so no one even knows
who they are
who knows if it is them
yeah anybody
he lives across the street
from me Greg
see that's intense
I'm telling you man my buddy Troy wouldn't lie man no but yeah he did how does he how does
he know i think it was that guy the guy in the middle yeah it was the pinhead yeah man you see
that guy out mowing the lawn it's a weird it's pretty fun to wear a mask you know especially
if you get super...
When you get famous and you have
money and you can get masks made,
then your band becomes like...
Because then you're like, hey, these masks are annoying.
You're like, no, no, no. We can give you
a real deal. You could do
a makeup. It'll be ventilated.
But I think those masks,
the expensive masks, are probably the more
restrictive.
I think make them to your face but I mean that's got to be with Slipknot
I wonder if it's constantly like
you get no
like
hey can I get a table at this crowded restaurant
you're like no
you're like I am Slipknot
you put the mask back on
you go that's me. You gotta Google.
You go, that's, I'm the one in the middle.
You go, I mean, dude, I guess everybody's Slipknot.
Hey, everybody's Slipknot's here.
I just watched a documentary on The Undertaker, your dentist.
And he was talking about how all the other wrestlers,
they can kind of be out of character when they're out in public.
But he was such a, in his prime, just that accepted prince of darkness or whatever.
He had to wear the black.
He couldn't be smiling.
He couldn't be doing like, if he had pictures made with kids at the airport, he couldn't be smiling in it.
He had to be that character kind of all the time, even though he's in Southwest in the middle seat. He couldn't be smiling in it. Right, right. He had to be that character kind of all the time,
even though he's in Southwest
in the middle seat.
He has to be the Undertaker.
Yeah.
Man, you think the Undertaker
flew Southwest?
Well, I'm just saying.
I was trying to make fun of you.
It's an expression, yeah.
Okay.
It's an expression.
You know that old expression,
Southwest middle seat?
Yeah.
Stitching time,
saves nine
you said it like that
like y'all are husband and wife
he's trying to be nice
it's an expression Greg
tell his oldest time
Michael Finley
hey Barry
I know Michael Finley
I don't think this is
what's that guy
yeah
Mike Finney
it's my
Finney man
yeah
I used to have I have a billboard somewhere that guy? Yeah. Mike Finney. Finney, man. Yeah.
I used to have a billboard somewhere.
That guy, I think he did the Tonight Show as a comedian and as a magician. As a magician, yeah.
He was funny, man.
Oh, yeah.
He's great.
He's great.
Hey, Bear.
I grew up in Oklahoma.
My best friend's family owned a health food restaurant that was, I'm going to tell you,
it's not the guy we're
talking about.
I grew up in Oklahoma.
My best friend's family owned a health food restaurant that was not far from where Garth
and Tricia lived.
When I was like 10, 11 years old, I would serve Garth and Tricia their drinks if I was
at the restaurant.
Thanks for the great podcast.
Truly gets so much enjoyment out of my day listening.
I put emphasis on wrong words.
That's a big thing I have with reading.
I've heard it, man.
Yeah.
You guys talked about it, though.
Wait, like how?
I didn't pick up on that.
Truly get so much.
Truly get so much.
I'd have to pause more.
And I go, truly get so much. And you're like, now and i go truly get so much and you're like now
that sentence is like what even the sentence is like right out of the gate this yeah the sentence
is like i'm not this guy you're making me yeah uh that's awesome all right uh was there something
else they just yep just filling the time yep uh joel palmer we visited the opry a few years ago took the standard tour we get on stage and each
stood in the circle and they seemed fine with it i just learned in this podcast that it probably
shouldn't be done oh well hey bear yeah uh well i more believe that i got the details of that wrong
i've been telling people you're only allowed to step in the circle if you're performing there,
but maybe they're a little more lax about it than...
They let everybody.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If you pay to take a tour, you can do pretty much whatever you want.
So that you can't...
You thought you couldn't walk across...
Well, they cut out that circle from the original Opry stage at the Ryman,
and they moved it to the new, where the Opry is now.
And I was told at some point, I they moved it to the new, where the Opry is now.
And I was told at some point, I can't even remember by whom, but somebody said,
you're only allowed to step in that circle if you're performing there.
They told you not to stand in there.
You knew to say whom.
That feels good to use it when you know it's correct.
Yeah.
That was the correct term to do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You leaned into it a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's kind of showing.
I'll say it a little bit louder.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You leaned into it a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's kind of showing.
I'll say it a little bit louder.
Did you have any thought or just whom rolled out of your –
Well, typically, if it follows a preposition, then you know it's whom.
Yes, Nate, come on.
Yeah, yeah.
But, yeah, so, like, I mean, do you think about that when you're saying the sentence?
I thought of it now saying it on this podcast.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
But in real life, you would have just –
If I'm talking to my parents or whatever, no, it just kind of comes out.
You would have just known.
Yeah, well, y'all talk very proper.
So it's like you would have just known to say whom.
I think so.
Muscle memory at this point.
Wow.
Notre Dame education.
That'll do it, man.
That's like what it, yeah, that is like, that's probably what education is.
You think that or you think we're just dumber than
the average people would you have said it no i don't think so what was the sentence
uh i was told but i can't remember by whom oh by oh i would have said i told but i don't remember
by who told who told me yeah i can't remember who told me yeah i can't remember yeah yeah well
that's a real like uh it's like a fancy plate you're
fancy playing a bunch of much much paper plates that's it's good we're both doing the same thing
though just like the plates we're both doing the same thing mine's a little more work to
maintain but everybody yours is more work to maintain and everybody's like where did you get
that fancy plate road in here and then you well, you got to be invited into this.
Or you get it.
You bring your own plate.
I want to be someone that brings my own plate to other people's parties.
Have you ever seen somebody do that?
That's a crazy move to bring your own plate.
I like it, man.
So paper plates is like, I can get very weird about the the utensils or the pay like you know i don't
there's a lot of stuff i don't like some got some tactile things i guess yeah yeah yeah what don't
you like napkins kind of like napkins can i mean i can use them to not be an animal somewhere but
it's uh i can't crumple them i'll never crumple in that was but you like you like a cloth napkin
though uh yeah i like it to be a little bit thicker but like i I'll never crumple a napkin. But you like a cloth napkin though?
Yeah, I like it to be a little bit thicker.
But even if I have a napkin, I will always have it very folded properly.
Like you'll never – and then I use it and I properly – I never crumble it and like, you know.
You never do a bib?
Even on like a barbecue or something?
No, no.
Barbecue, I would – I'd try to wash my hands before i would get i don't even know if i like wet what it's even if i if i ate like barbecue i would almost just be
a you go and they have the the paper towels paper towel rolls so i would have to grab a few of them
it can't be just one i need to grab a thick where it feels thick and so i'd grab a few
that are thick and i have it completely flat and then i or it's sitting on me and then i would do
whatever i want to go do it's that's why barbecue is like tough for me because it's like i i'd
rather do it's a mess and i like when it gets all over me and i don't have an easy it's tough if i
had like a towel i mean i i have towel. I bring a towel with me now.
Like a lot of places.
A beach towel?
No, like a hand towel.
Oh.
To a restaurant?
You know, the black...
No, no, no, not to a restaurant.
I mean, yeah.
I'm close.
I've never done it,
but I'm close.
Close to bringing a towel
to a restaurant?
Better help.
Yeah, better, yeah.
You're going to have one
over your shoulder
like one of those fat guys on stage.
Hey, I'm starting to do that, man.
Are you bringing a towel on stage?
I did it once and I got sucked in, man.
He loved it.
I'm a sweat towel guy now.
You're not that guy, man.
Oh, but it's fun.
It's a fun energy to have.
It is.
Those guys, I know a couple of those guys and they are funny, but you don't want to be doing that yet, man.
I'm not.
You're looking good these days. Oh, thanks, man. but i have one on the stool just in case i have one on
the stool if the set's not if the set's not going well i will need it yeah i'll be sweating i've
never used it i've had one on the stool i've never used it uh i've never used it but it's always but
it's just on the stool i like said the mic lane on it and i get it's just there i guess it's like
water like i don't always drink water on no i'm that way with water i have the water and i barely ever do
it but but it's like it's there and the towel's there just in like i don't know what's the towel
for them nothing i never i don't sweat on i'll wave it around dude yeah i mean you leave it could
be a device it just kind of sits i mean the thing sits on the stool it's like nothing right it's
like almost like decoration but i would use it like i've had to use it every once right like if you you just feel
like you got some on your face or you're like you know sometimes it's like when i if you do have
water and it gets in your beard like you just kind of wipe it off but uh i don't i don't ever use it
it's just there i don't there's no really reason for it it's like almost like it's just like an
old thing that's always been kind of through.
But now,
cause I have the mic laying on the,
cause I don't use it to have a mic stand out there.
And so I have the mic laying on the stool.
So it actually lays on the towel.
Okay.
So then it's like,
it's kind of there.
So it's not just rolling around,
but I don't use it for that.
When I'm not using,
I hang it on the mic stand,
the towel.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I kind of make myself at home.
Yeah, it's like a prop for you.
I'll have to go.
But if we eat something, though, I'll have to be like,
I'll go wash my hands first.
In between.
I mean, I'll try to eat with a fork, but then in between.
I don't think I like to be messy.
Yeah, barbecue's tough.
I've gone in the middle of a session, you know, and be like,
I'm going to wash off my hands and come back.
Session.
I don't know.
I'll tell you another thing, man. Those barbecue towels
that you're talking about, the roll of
towels, haven't been in that business.
They're not
the best paper towels
you can get. Procter & Gamble
had Bounty.
I didn't sell it, but my They're not the best paper towels you can get. Procter & Gamble had Bounty. Oh, Bounty.
I didn't sell it, but my partners, my teammates sold it,
and it's a big difference, man.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, they're doing – yeah, I mean, Bounty is Bounty.
I don't think Bounty is even looking at those paper towels like competition.
Or could they be competition?
I mean, if you were wanting to set yourself apart as a barbecue restaurant,
here's one way to do it.
You put bounty paper towels up there, and right away, people are going to start coming
more.
Yeah.
That's expensive, though.
It's real expensive.
Yeah.
It's real expensive.
But it would be nice.
We're not in the consumer.
We're not in the restaurant business.
I think, yeah.
You go, we wouldn't even.
So you would be like, I shouldn't even be talking to you about this.
Like, we're above this.
I'm doing this as a favor.
Yeah.
I mean, you may not even get a rep to call on you.
You might just go to Sam's or Costco and just buy a giant bunch of bounty.
But I'm telling you, you'd make your mark.
I've been in some restaurants or even hotels where it's like, man, this is charming.
They went above and beyond.
And you're like, this is a nice experience.
I feel better with a bounty.
I would definitely feel a lot.
I think you would, man.
I think I would, too.
With a nice print, like a holiday print on it.
I usually do brisket.
I'll do brisket or pulled pork.
I'm not a big rib fan, but I guess you can pull it off.
I love Applebee's had the boneless ribs.
Oh, yeah.
Man, those were good.
That was good.
That's what Larry used to always get.
I've been getting into ribs a little bit.
But yeah, briskets, man, that's something.
Michael Saylor.
Saylor. Michael Saylor. Saylor. Say-o-yor.
Michael Saylor.
Say-o-yor.
Ending a country music episode with a picture of Michael Jackson's child.
Michael Saylor boat ashore.
Huh?
Never mind.
Michael Saylor boat ashore.
Is that?
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
I should have pulled up on that.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
Get that light out.
Flash that light again.
It's row your boat, isn't it?
If it was row your boat.
If it was row your, you guys have been cheering.
That's true.
Yeah, you'd have been asking me to go deeper into that.
But I just got the song wrong as well.
It's sailing.
You don't even sail on a shore.
You row it.
Yeah.
Hallelujah.
You come back and it's like, all right, Greg had a go.
He had to run somewhere.
Michael Sealyer, ending a country music episode with a picture of Michael Jackson's childhood
home is so on brand for this podcast.
Maybe that's why Nate can recall nuggets of information, but does not remember the episode
from which it came.
Love the podcast.
Excited for the Bridgestone show.
Yeah.
Why did we show these?
We're talking about.
Oh, people's homes that you'd go to.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Chase Schubert.
In the original Friday Night Lights, Tim McGraw's character walks around drunk, physically
abusing his son, Don Billingsley, for continuing to fumble the football.
Just stop it.
It's like a comma.
Yeah.
For continuing to fumble the football.
The real Don Billingsley came to speak to my football's team, FCA Group,
and share his testimony.
Turns out he fumbled the ball once in his high school career,
but recovered it himself, and his dad rarely ever drank,
was never drunk, and never laid a hand on him. Leave hollywood to recklessly destroy the reputation of two stand-up
guys for the sake of a better plot yeah that's a tough uh because you gotta but because here's the
the argument with it i agree but the argument is this as big of a show if they don't have
a relationship like that like in the like they
have to do it for the is that like i mean is i i don't i don't even know if i've seen friday
nights maybe this is the movie the movie i think i did see a long time but isn't that the main thing
or is that like a giant no no it's kind of a side side plot it's a it's a good plot i mean and nobody i read the book i saw the movie and i watched the show
yeah and i certainly don't think i thought this was a documentary or something or you know but
at least you don't get like anybody that meets him is gonna go oh did you yeah like and your dad
was a big drunk and it really is dad like that you You want to go like, no, my dad was like a good guy.
Like he wasn't,
I could see,
I totally understand the frustration,
but it's like,
yeah,
it's,
it's tough.
Cause it's like,
you know,
maybe you don't need it and maybe it's still just as big without it.
I used to have a joke about all these based on true sports stories.
Even there's usually the other team,
they're terrible.
Like I'm thinking about football.
They're usually yelling racist stuff in so many of these movies.
Even if that's true, they were like 16 then,
and their real names are in the movie.
Yeah.
Now they're 42 working a job, and they're making a movie about you.
I would hate to have anything I did.
That would be tough.
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
That's tough.
I fumbled. I was a did. That would be tough. Yeah, yeah, I get it. That's tough. I fumbled.
I was a center my senior year in football.
I was the only year I played football, and I was a center,
and we played at Bush Stadium where the Cardinals play,
and I fumbled the snap four times in one quarter.
It was terrible, man.
It was awful.
How does a center fumble a snap?
Not the quarterback. Oh, that's stupid. Well. I played center. It's the easiest thing to do center fumble a snap? Not the quarterback.
Oh, that's –
Well –
I played center.
It's the easiest thing to do.
You mean like literally the ball just came out of your hand?
Yeah, I guess I could have blamed him, but I knew it was –
I was probably getting it upright because he was a more experienced player
than I was.
It was bad.
No, dude.
Never blame the lineman.
You know?
Yeah.
It's always the quarterback's fault.
I'm so sympathetic to centers. Anytime a snap goes wrong, I go. It's always the quarterback's fault i'm so sympathetic to centers anytime a snap
goes wrong i go it's probably really yeah yeah i never blame the center because he's nervous and
he's pulling out too yeah you know they get all the praise and the glory yeah yeah they can take
let them take some of the blame one more and then we can move on just go, the first one's fine. Okay. I used to work...
Jennifer Landris.
I used to work at Disney's Great Guest Communications in the 90s.
This department answered guest letters and emails.
So many people wrote asking if Walt's body was frozen that we had a standard response we copied and pasted to reply.
The title of the file was Walt Not Frozen.
It included info about where he was buried.
I'm not sure if Aaron's conspiracy theory is true,
but the Disney company has been refuting the story for a long time.
Wow.
Yeah, but if Walt's body was frozen,
that's exactly the kind of response that you would prepare.
For sure.
His head was so
what did they go his body is yes body's not frozen yeah the body's not they just keep going the body's
not frozen we have what his head the body's the body's buried there you go the head you keep
asking you know usually the head's attached to the body and his body's over there yeah yeah
uh all right all right all right so this week i just called it uh the return of greg warren because Ted's attached to the body and his body's over there. Yeah. All right. All right.
All right.
So this week, I just called it the return of Greg Warren because we didn't get into
the Missouri stuff last time like a lot of people wanted to get into.
So I got some Missouri stuff, but I got to ask first.
All right.
We did an episode on peanut butter and potato chips.
Yeah.
It aired on May 18th.
Yeah.
We broke the story about
jif you gave all the inside secrets two days later a recall a jif recall because of salmonella i know
where this is going i just come out and say it i know yeah yeah tell me was it a hit job was it
something did you expose too much and no man man. I mean, it was tough.
It was very tough.
And I got a lot of pictures of shelves, empty shelves from your listeners.
And what happened was there was 14 jars across the country.
Just 14?
14 that they found salmonella in.
And-
Salmonella.
I was going to say salmon.
Salmonella.
Salmonella.
Salmonella.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And we took it down.
Okay.
We took it all down.
It was gone for about-
It's back.
It's back.
And I don't feel good about it.
You think now is it back and you are just leaning into the salmonella and giving all
the bottles salmonella?
No, no.
But is that the easier way to go?
No, it's not, Nate.
I see what you're doing here, man.
These people's lives depend on this, man.
We're talking about, Jeff, it's 50-50 if salmonella
is in there.
It's not, okay? So we're just going to 100%
and we're going to advertise
it definitely has salmonella.
I want to point out right now.
What is it called?
Salmonella.
Salmonella.
I want to point out right now that this happened in 2006 with Peter Pan.
Oh, wow.
This did.
How many bottles do you think they had?
I don't know, man.
I mean, I don't know, but it hurt them.
Okay.
Right.
And it happened just this past year in 2022 uh skippy
they found some metal particles in their peanut butter and they shut it down okay now that doesn't
make it right for jif okay this has been happening for years well i don't know about years it's a bad
situation you know when it happened to peter pan did they just send out bottles of him throwing up on the new thing?
I don't even remember hearing about those.
Exactly.
Well, Jeff is a different ball game.
It's 2006, man.
You're running around with teenagers in your name.
One of them was last year.
It was, man.
It happened.
I feel terrible about it. Yes. But one of them was last year. Yeah, it was, man. It happened, okay?
But I feel terrible about it.
As a salesman, would you have to go and pull all those off the shelf?
Was that your responsibility? That's a good question, man.
Well, it didn't happen on my watch.
I know, but if you were still doing it.
Yeah.
I would bet that, yeah, our retail force probably had to get in there.
You had no recalls on any of your products when you were working at Parker & Gamble?
No, I don't think so. Not that I – no, we didn't have any recalls on any of your products when you're working man no i don't think so not not that i uh no we didn't have any wow yeah we had like outdated juice that we had
to pour out when i had to pour it out citrus hill brand yeah yeah when you know back when we had
citrus hill orange juice we you know they say citrus hill orange juice hey man for okay citrus
hill um we didn't do that well in that business
like we we got beat up but i'll tell you right now everything that you enjoy in orange juice today
we came up with everything whoa everything you know free yeah i don't i think that's us because
that's maybe the one thing i enjoy in orange juice well the main thing okay no it's not it's not
okay i'll guarantee you it's not. It's not, Aaron.
I guarantee you it is not.
There's a lot of stuff that you take for granted.
You're probably right.
Yeah.
So back in the day, you'd have a cardboard carton of orange juice, right?
And you'd have to unfold the top to pour it out, and it would get soggy.
And then somebody put a screw-off top on the side.
Whoa.
Citrus Hill.
Citrus Hill.
Wow.
Okay?
And then now, let's say you want a big jug orange juice, right?
Like, you know, Trop has the big white jug,
and Minute Maid has the big orange jug.
With the handle on it, it's a 96 or sometimes a 128 ounce.
We were the first ones to do that.
Wow.
We were the first ones that plastic jug.
Fortifying orange juice with calcium.
We did that, okay? Whoa. Yeahifying orange juice with calcium. We did that. Okay.
Whoa.
Yeah.
We started all that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then we had Sunny Delight too.
Oh, Sunny Delight is big.
It still is big.
Still is big.
It's very big.
Yeah.
But if there's a big recall, would that affect your bottom line?
I don't think so.
I mean, it may affect.
Well, I mean, I.
Is it just a black eye on the legacy?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's nothing to be
proud of man it's not i mean yeah i took a lot of calls and i don't even work there anymore
and uh yeah i took a ton of calls mostly from your listeners okay and i had i had they were
like explain this to us it's not and i and i was you know i'm not an employee of this podcast but
i i felt like it was my responsibility to answer every one of these
things that came on there was pictures they were getting to send me around of an empty shelf with
no gif on it and like that doesn't hurt us did you have a strong did you have a response that
you kind of copy and pasted like the disney not like uh not like disney and uh salier or whatever
uh yeah no i this is just a blip no that's a different man it came from the heart
with me yeah yeah like i i individually answered each one of those and i was honest about it i'm
like hey i don't feel good about this did you talk to anybody in that world in the gif world
when this happened man i couldn't i couldn't those guys were dealing with yeah my buddy john
brazzi's their number two guy he's the coo of smuckers yeah who owns Jif now. Wow. And I just couldn't.
I knew what he was dealing with.
He didn't send a text to go, I know, man.
Thinking of you, brother.
Yeah.
Thinking of you.
Yeah.
Hang in there.
We're praying for you.
Yeah.
I just felt like he's getting it from all ends at that point, man.
Yeah.
Aaron's laughing like, can you imagine what the pressure that was on him, man?
It took.
It took.
It took a toll.
It took.
I hope it didn't.
But I mean, it took Peter Pan down in 2006.
Those guys were a major player, and they are not now.
Yeah.
They are no longer even.
They are also ran.
It's Skippy.
I think if anybody, it helped Skippy.
Yeah.
But yeah.
Maybe Skippy had something to do with it.
I was thinking about that with this.
When I heard about this thing with Jif, you know, I was like, man, this has got Peter
Band written all over it.
Yeah.
These guys.
These guys.
Yeah.
This sounds like some of the garbage those guys would pull.
Yeah.
Because, yeah.
Yeah.
They're not.
Yeah.
Peter Band, they're coming in.
They all have probably salmonella.
Yeah. I can't say. What all have probably salmonella i can't say what is it salmonella salmonella salmonella salmonella salmonella um what is salmonella just like uh even tell you what i picture i always picture like it's like some
kind of worm or something i feel i picture like a real thing. Like a tapeworm? Like one of those?
There you go.
No, I don't know.
I think it's just like.
It's bacteria.
Yeah, bacteria.
And where does it come from?
A jiff.
It doesn't.
It comes from a Lexington Kentucky jiff plant.
No, it doesn't.
And yeah, Lexington is where it happened, man.
Yeah.
Where you shot your special.
I did.
I shot it there for a reason, man. It was, yeah. Yeah. I shot it there because that's where it happened, man. Yeah. Where you shot your special. I did. I shot it there for a reason, man.
It was, yeah.
Yeah.
I shot it there because that's where it just made.
But.
Now, I saw a, because you sell Pringles.
Yeah.
Mandela Effect.
Do you know what Mandela Effect is?
Yeah, it's like basically everything that we all think happened,
but it really didn't happen.
There's a Pringles brand, sour cream and-
Onion.
It's the number two flavor.
It's green.
I should have asked someone else besides the expert.
Most people think it was sour cream and chives,
and there's never been a sour cream and chives.
That's sour cream and onion, man.
I think I would have said sour cream and onion.
It was always number-
The green can, it was the number two in the flavor profile all the time.
Well, we had a right crisp, which was like lighter fat.
There's 168 Pringle flavors.
Oh, man.
Did we talk about Tarangos?
We did talk about Tarangos.
God, man, that was a disaster.
That was just, man, that was brutal.
That was a disaster.
That was just, man, that was brutal.
But do you guys know Pringles?
When they introduced it, it came out in 68,
which is the same year I was born, way after Ed McMahon.
Or no, who?
Dick Van Dyke.
Dick Van Dyke, yeah.
Ed McMahon, too.
Yeah.
So it came out, and they were doing really it came out and they, uh, they, uh, were doing really well gangbusters. Okay. I think it was called Pringles newfangled potato chips when they first came out.
And, uh, the, uh, the government said, Hey, you guys are made up of corn and soy and wheat
and potatoes. You're not made of a hundred percent. You can't call yourselves potato chips.
You have to call yourselves potato crisps.
Right.
You know, because it was like a big court case.
And we did.
And we did.
And people were like, yeah, we still like them.
You know, they're still good.
And the government was like, you know, they're not made of 100% potatoes.
And people were like, yeah, we kind of figured that when they were uniformly stacked on top of each other
in the perfect shape of a horse saddle.
Like, you know, come on, guys.
Yeah, they were, there was like a famous lawsuit.
And I think something, and then it was weird in Britain
because we call ourselves crisps, but in London,
that's what chips are.
They're called crisps.
So do you have to call them chips in London?
I think so.
Something like that.
Yeah.
Next week on the Europe episode, we'll get into that.
Okay.
But now you're called Pringles.
Yeah.
You say you want some potato chips.
I guess if you said you want potato chips, I would say, well, I have Pringles and Lay's and all this.
But Pringles, you also go, you want some, I would never go, you want
some potato chips and then offer you Pringles.
No.
What are you talking about?
Why not?
That's insane behavior.
I'm saying, if I have Pringles and I go, I would go, do you want a Pringle?
I wouldn't go, do you want a potato chip?
But if I had like Ruffles.
I know what you're saying.
If I had Ruffles, I wouldn't say, I would say, you want some chips?
And then I would hand you just whatever bag of chips.
You would never go, you've got some Ruffles?
I'm saying Pringles are their own thing.
I know what you're saying.
You're saying they're their own thing, and they are.
But I think, let's have a party, okay?
And let's serve Pringles.
Say, does anybody want any potato chips?
And you give them Pringles, and people are going to be fine with it, man.
Yeah, no, no, no.
You're mis-
No, I think we're on different pages here.
I'm saying that Pringles are their own thing.
Yes, if I said, buy some potato chips, I'd buy Pringles and R own thing. Yes, if I said buy some potato chips,
I'd buy Pringles and Ruffles and I'd buy all the potato chips. But if I had Pringles in my hand,
and I wouldn't say, do you want a potato chip and only offer you a Pringle? I would say,
do you want a Pringle? Yeah, I got what you're saying. But if I had Ruffles, I would say,
do you want potato chips? I wouldn't say, do you want a Ruffle? I got what you're saying.
Pringle, I'm saying, is its own description. It is its own thing. And then that, you know, and there's been some imitators out there.
Lay's Stacks.
Yeah.
Try to take us.
The one problem I have with Pringle is.
They did all right.
Lay's Stack.
I mean, I know about them.
Okay.
Yeah, that's true.
You know about them.
Yeah, man.
Those guys are like, they own 90% of that aisle.
Yeah.
Frito-Lay.
And they basically put all these, I think we talked about this last time.
They put all the regional chippers out of business.
Right.
And then the one person they were gunning for was like,
this is the last person we're going to take down is Pringles.
And they came after us with this stacks and it didn't work.
I mean, they carved out a little market share because i'll tell you
another thing about frito-lay man those guys they are um they're bribers man yeah they would go into
these stores with you know all kinds of just hey you want baseball tickets you want you know you
want any of this kind of stuff you know you want uh you like camping you want a tent or whatever
and i would go in there and I'd go in there and say,
hey, man, I can show you a way to build your profit.
I'm not going to get into all this business.
I'm going to do it the right way.
Yeah, but they want to go that Don Dillinger game.
Don Dinkinsher.
Dinkinsher.
Dillinger, yeah.
My one complaint about Pringles, though, the design,
once you get so low where you can't get your –
you've got to tip it over and then all the crumbs come out.
What do they say about that?
I think that's part of it.
I think you kind of like it.
I mean –
It's part of the ritual.
It's part of the – yeah.
Yeah, it's kind of – it's like Oreos.
Like when you got to get – now they have that pullback thing,
and you're like – you got to climb in there.
They're in the trays.
Yeah.
It's just part of it.
Yeah, I like an Oreo.
Did Pringles – did you ever think about doing it
sideways and have like no here's the thing bates i mean it's it's a valid concern yeah it is
nothing's perfect in the world okay so you got to ask yourself uh do i want that do i want to live
with that mild problem and you made it sound like there's all kinds of crumbs down there there's
maybe two broken chips. Okay. Yeah.
Two broken chips.
Come on now.
That's not.
Again, again.
The bottom 20%. No, it's not the bottom 20%.
It's borderline powder.
Yeah, if you're shaking it around like a rattle, man, what are you doing?
I mean, you got to treat it like a food.
Yeah.
But would you rather have that or would you rather buy a bag of chips?
Right. That's half air bag of chips that's half air
okay it's half air
and you want to talk about broken
with the way Aaron treats his chips
it's got
Pringles with
and a plate
we're going to see
no man
I had to be involved in the beginning of this
this feels like a set up
you and Laura set this up two
weeks ago we're gonna like hey shake them up take my shirt off
yeah man no uh bates which would you rather have that or you know i mean every everything has its
inherent problem i think it's i think it's uh what's the thing where they go it's uh it's
character it's the or something like it's like it adds characters or pringles yeah, it's character. It adds characters to Pringles.
Yeah, man. It's part of the thing.
Aaron, would you rather have Folgers or
Starbucks new product?
I'll tell you exactly what I would have.
There's a lot going on in my life right now.
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I overthink the word caramel.
I never know how to say it.
It's tough, man. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. I overthink the word caramel. I never know how to say it. It's tough, man.
Caramel.
Caramel.
That's how I want to say it.
Caramel.
I don't want to say caramel.
I think I say caramel.
All right.
So we got some Pringles.
Let's just see what the crumb.
Now, to be fair, this one's half full.
Salt and vinegar.
Salt and vinegar.
Man, that's a great.
That's a great.
Bursting with flavor, it says.
Harper's a big Pringle girl.
Yeah, I remember you said that.
Yeah.
But this one's kind of beat up.
Like this one's, this is definitely.
Look at that.
Like that's a lot.
That's not bad at all.
That's not, yeah.
I mean, the bottom.
Crumbs came out first.
Yeah.
Yeah, but I mean, it's been sitting there.
That thing, it's a half full can.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, yeah, that's what I said.
When it gets low and you can't, I mean, that's when it gets bad.
You're not pulling from the bottom.
And the flavor delivery system on salt and vinegar, man,
I guarantee you're not going to get a better.
I just did.
Now, I got an unopened can.
Oh, wow.
That's pink.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah.
Let's see what, I mean, we can see what we did.
I don't know how we're going to get these back in there.
We brought these out with Pete's Delicious.
Same time.
Salt and vinegar. So we introduced these in, I'd say, probably 96, 97. back in there. We brought these out with Pizza-licious. Same time.
Salt and vinegar.
So we introduced these in, I'd say,
probably 96, 97.
It was this
and Pizza-licious.
And everybody
thought salt and vinegar
was going to be the winner.
Pizza-licious was
Pizza-licious.
Slots in at number five
right out of the gate, man.
Wow.
Yeah.
It's because of kids.
Yeah.
Because of kids.
Me and my friend Gene Williams
were the only ones
in the brand that were like, no, man, Pizza-licious is going to do better than salt and vinegar. Gene called kids. Yeah. Because of kids. Me and my friend Gene Williams were the only ones in the brand that were like, no, man,
pizza-licious is going to do better than salt and butter.
Gene called it.
Yeah.
Gene sounds like a guy that would know that.
Yeah.
Unopened can.
It's been through the-
Good for him.
Yeah.
I know how that tastes, but-
The normal wear and tear hasn't done anything-
Yeah, I'll go with it.
And we haven't thrown it.
I mean, allegedly.
Allegedly.
I'm a Lays guy.
I don't know.
You got to be kidding me.
Does Lays even make a salt and vinegar?
I'll be honest with you.
It looks good so far.
Yeah.
I guess I can.
That's a nice stack.
I mean, I don't think there's any crumbs, dude.
It's very minimal.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
By the way, I didn't say there was never going to be a crumb.
You said maybe two chips.
Okay, just for the record.
That's a solid-looking stack.
We are halfway out, and we haven't seen crumb one, okay?
Oh, look.
And it dumped.
But there's – I mean, overall –
Greg, I'll be honest with you.
That's way better than I thought it would be.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, that's – I mean, I'll live with that, and I'll own that. I'll be like, hey, that's way better than I thought it would be. Yeah, man. Yeah, that's, I mean, I'll live with that and I'll own that.
I'll be like, hey, man, nobody is saying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm looking at maybe like three broken chips, maybe.
That's great.
And here, look at that.
Okay?
Go ahead and knock that.
What do you mean?
It's a solid change.
The investment that we made in protecting our product that Bates' chips do not even care about.
Yeah, I mean, this didn't cheat, by the way.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's not-
You're cutting into your own margins, but you do it for the customer.
Yes, yes, man.
You think-
That's really nice of you.
Which is why, by the way, which is why Pringles are giant internationally.
Because before we started making plants, we have a bunch of plants all over now.
We started shipping these things.
We were shipping them to China because they could make the trip.
You can't send a bag of Lays over to China.
You get smashed up.
Yeah, you got nothing.
All right.
Yeah.
Right.
Now, Smuckers, I was reading how the GIF recall effect to Smuckers.
Smuckers are doing pretty well, it sounds like.
Uncrustables.
Are you an Uncrustable guy?
I don't, man.
That's probably after your time, right?
Well, okay.
First of all, I work for Procter & Gamble.
So Smucker's not really.
And then they sold the brand to Smucker's after I left.
Procter & Gamble's out of the food business.
Oh, so you wouldn't even be involved anymore.
No.
They would have moved me over to Soap or something.
Are they the lawyer business now?
What's that?
The lawyer business.
Oh.
Procter & Gamble.
Sounds like a law firm.
Procter & Gamble.
Oh, yeah.
Nate didn't even know what Procter & Gamble was last time.
P&G.
Let's just go through your house, Nate, and I'll show you 90 items.
90 items that you have that Procter & Gamble makes.
But, yeah, Smucker's awesome.
The Uncrustables are great.
William Morgan has it on her rider, Uncrustables, in her dressing room.
Yeah.
It's not bad.
It's not a bad rider.
That's pretty good.
I should get a rider, I think.
Because it's just a solid – I almost should get it because she is smart about that.
Yeah.
With getting it just to eat like that before you go on stage.
Yeah. It gives you a little energy. It not too heavy it's in i mean they're great
put them in the freezer um to freeze them yeah really you get them that cold no you let them
thaw out a little bit but just to preserve them like yeah do you know what uncrustables what what
kind of people are they using room temp room temp i don't i assume jif since it's
smuckers is is does smuckers make uncrustables i would bet yeah now it is jif or smuckers has
their own peanut butter now it's like a oh it's not my thing but it's uh but i think there are
knockoffs of this right they don't have a patent on the ready to go yeah peanut butter and jelly
sandwich so yeah but there are knockoff brands, but they're the catapult.
Yeah, they're going to call it, what are they called?
Like, you know.
I don't even know what you would call it.
We ain't got no crustable.
Yeah, yeah.
We ain't got no, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Not crustable.
Yeah.
Perfect sandwich.
That's what I'd call it, perfect sandwich.
Yeah, that is – I mean, I get that that's a good thing,
but I'm not a jelly guy.
Yeah, I'm a jelly guy.
I'm more of a peanut butter purist.
Like I would say, get yourself a nice like a loaf of Dave's Killer Bread
or one of these like good grain bread.
Yeah, yeah.
Put some Jif on there and
then you know now you got that's what leanne ought to be asking for just when you're out on the road
she's got to make it you don't have to make this she's a mom she can make a peanut butter sandwich
nate yeah i mean i know leanne she's not i know you're busy leanne i don't know what i mean i
haven't talked to her in a couple months but what has she gotten that big that she can't spread
i know she's doing well every show every night you don't want to her in a couple months, but has she gotten that big that she can't spread? I know she's doing well.
You've got to think every show, every night, you don't want to be spreading that.
I'm more looking out for her health, okay?
I mean, I'm not saying you shouldn't eat on crustal, as I'm saying, you don't want to be having jelly at every meal, man.
Have a nice, a good-
It's not her meal.
It's just a snack right before the show.
I mean, but yeah, if you get in that kind of habit, man-
It's a slippery slope. As many shows as Leanne's doing right now, as much as but yeah, if you get in that kind of habit, man. It's a slippery slope.
As many shows as Leanne's doing right now, as much as she's traveling,
you got to be careful about your health.
You don't want to be having a bunch of jelly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You wake up and that's what you're having.
And you're at risk of salmonella already.
Yeah.
So salmonella.
You add the sugar.
That's true.
You're not at risk anymore, man.
The precautions that these guys have taken.
You think is that a diet plan to get salmonella and then you lose a bunch of weight?
No, man.
No, you guys are making fun of me.
So you think people are making fun of you?
It's a serious thing.
How did they figure out 14?
Gene told them.
No, Gene's at Coca-Cola now.
Was that a tough loss?
Yeah. Yeah, that was a big loss. Yeah. That was a big loss.
Yeah. That was a big loss. Yeah. Gene was up and comer, man. Yeah. Yeah.
Uh, maybe Gina, some do the zero Dr. Pepper cherry.
I could ask him. Yeah. Cause they're doing some really good things. Dr. Pepper isn't Coke, are they? No, Dr. Pepper's not Coke.
Dr. Pepper's a seven up Dr. Pepper. It's his own thing.
Coke's got, does Coke have a Pibb or does, is that, uh, Mr. Pibb is Coke. I believe Mr. Pibb's Coke. Yeah. Gene. Wow. It's his own thing. Yes. Neither Coke nor Pepsi. Does Coke have a Pibb or is that?
Mr. Pibb has Coke, I believe.
Mr. Pibb's Coke.
Yeah.
Gene.
Wow.
I didn't know that.
I mean, you and Gene might.
Gene's a big Georgia fan, man.
Big.
Oh, yeah?
I was at the National Chips again.
Yeah.
I'm sure he was too, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
I did not know that.
I thought Dr. Pepper was.
They're their own thing.
I didn't know that either.
Mr. Pibb or Pibb Extra
is a... Dallas, Texas
maybe? Dr. Pepper?
Yeah, it's a Texas drink for sure.
That's crazy. It's its own...
They paired up with 7-Up, I think.
They paired up with 7-Up.
They paired up a long time ago with 7-Up?
I think 80s maybe?
I mean, because Dr dr member is holding its own
as far as you know compete it's one thing it's a good drink man it's a good drink and it's you
know what remember when you would get the those 20 ounce plastic bottles that we all get if you're
on the road man you grab a 20 ounce uh so it's those that that uh story as old as time yeah um they used to be glass okay in the 80s that and the first
one to come up with the plastic was dr prepper and seven up they had every coke and everybody
was uh was glass and then those guys were the first one to have plastic they had they must
have been like a patent or something because for about two years, I was like, well, I don't care what.
I'm getting the plastic.
Even if I feel like a Coke, I'm getting the plastic because it's got a better feel to it.
Interesting.
I remember a commercial where someone would actually knock the glass bottle off the table and it would shatter and go everywhere.
Really?
Yep.
And then someone knocked plastic and it just bounces because it's plastic.
That's how they sold you on it.
Really?
Look how much better this is. Yeah. I was really hoping you would remember this commercial, Greg. I don't because it's plastic. That's how they like sold you on it. Really? Look how much better this is.
Yeah.
I was really hoping you would remember this commercial, Greg.
I don't remember it, man.
I mean, yeah, I don't remember that.
It's a genius.
It's good marketing.
He was in the thick of it back then.
Yeah.
Yeah, I had a lot going on.
I had a lot going on.
A lot going on.
Yeah, that was –
We weren't even thinking about soda.
No, we had the –
That was probably right around the time when we had the Fisher Nuts acquisition.
What was that?
You know Fisher Nuts?
No.
I mean, maybe.
It's like a kind of a competitor of planners.
Here's an interesting move in the beverage industry I had no idea of.
Did you know Keurig owns Dr. Pepper, Snapple, 7-Up, and more?
Wow.
Keurig owns these brands now.
I tell you what, you blink, you'll miss a lot.
Oh, man, that's the one category.
These companies get moved all around.
Beverage is crazy.
No, I'm just saying, because we sold Folgers.
Yeah.
And that is the one category where I feel like I couldn't go back and be relevant.
Coffee, it's a different world now.
Because there was no Keurig when I sold it, man.
You're talking, I feel like I'd be a,
you know, I wouldn't
know the price points. I wouldn't, you know,
I'd seem like a dinosaur. You're like, you know,
what's your price on Keurig? You're like, I can get you
a percolator.
I'd sell you a percolator and I'll
no drip if you, you know,
old man, you don't know what you're doing.
When's the coffee going to be ready? You're like, a couple
days.
Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what you're doing. Yeah, this guy. When's the coffee going to be ready? You're like, a couple days. Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know anything about that business anymore.
It's embarrassing.
I could go in.
I could walk back in and be selling peanut butter in a week.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What would you need?
Just a little.
Just wrap your head around what's happening?
I mean, I know what's happening.
I go and I keep an eye on the shelves.
But I would just need to know the price points.
I need to know, hey, what are we advertising?
What are we trying to do?
Yeah, like back in the day, man, the lowest price point you're going to hit.
I mean, 18 ounce, that's the main size.
That's where all the promotions happen is 18 ounce.
And you want to fight for it.
It was a fight to get the back-to-school ad.
Oh, yeah.
A very aggressive ad back then would have been two for three.
Wow.
You go two for three on an 18-ounce.
And that's – like if you guys see that, and I don't know if they're doing that anymore, stock up.
Yeah.
It's not coming back until next August.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A two for three.
A two for three.
Yeah.
That's like – and is the other companies are like, oh, are they annoyed?
Well, I mean, I'm not, I don't want to point fingers, but like, like Skippy and Peter Pan
would come in real low, real low for that back to school that they would come in and
they'd give them some kind of crazy deal.
And these guys would buy, they'd buy pallets and pallets full of it.
Cause it's like, you know, grocery stores, like, Hey,
let's load up at this low price. Okay.
And they couldn't sell it all in that back to school ad.
Well guess what you're eating for the next six months. Right.
You're eating peanut butter that's been sitting in the back room cause they
bought too much and it's a, you're not eating a fresh product. Yeah.
You know, where, um,
A GIF we mean. Yeah. We didn? Mm-hmm. Where. At Jif, we, I mean.
Yeah, we didn't do quite as, we played some games.
I'm not going to say I was innocent, but we.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But we played some games, but not like they did.
I mean, the true, in the cake mix business, the true, Betty Crocker and Duncan Hines,
or Betty, I had Duncan Hines, but Betty Crocker and Pillsbury, Pillsbury especially, the ones
that played that kind of game.
Yeah. I mean, it's like,'re selling them three years' worth of cake mix
for the Christmas ad, and it was embarrassing.
Yeah.
You want to eat a three-year-old cake mix?
You ever try to bake with it?
I mean, it's not out of date.
It's not going to be out of date.
Cake mix doesn't go out of date, but it's not going to be a fresh.
Do you know all the stuff that expires and doesn't expire what do you feel about expirations are you like is it there's some
places being loose where you're going come on i or is it summer i mean most of my stuff was other
than that citrus hill that was where you know that was very strict dating and yeah they're pouring it
out yeah it was like yeah we're not. Right. But as a consumer.
So why did Citrus Hill, all right, both questions, but Citrus Hill, so Citrus Hill just never took off as an orange juice, but it made a lot of stuff.
Nate, if I knew that.
Yeah.
I mean, if I knew the answer to that.
I would probably the name.
You think you'd be sitting here today if we knew the answer to that question?
If I knew, no.
If I knew the answer to that, man, I'd be running that company.
I bet it's the name.
I don't think it's the name.
I don't know.
Every other thing has got a name.
Like Citrus Hill doesn't sound –
You think Citrus Hill doesn't sound as good as Minute Maid?
It's not really.
Not in the orange game.
It seems too fancy.
Citrus Hill seems too expensive and too fancy.
I don't know.
It would seem like it doesn't – for the blue-collar person, it's going to be like,
if you're like, I drink Citrus Hill, I think it feels like kind of high end and where if you're like i got minimade that's more
of like kids mom i'm getting minimade sunny d it's easy to say what you have yeah that's what i think
i love that you think sunny d belongs in that category with that which person we
we sold a lot of sunny d because people like you thought it was orange same thing yeah i mean because what i mean what's yeah it's like but you're not really
thinking about it like you're just like yeah no i'm pouring you're pouring a drink you're
drinking a drink and you're going about your day but that's this is what i my theory with
all of hollywood or even anything any of this stuff is they don't, you go like, yeah, dude, I have a life.
I can't just sit and think about what this thing is that I'm drinking.
That's why it's easy to, Citrus Hill is, it's kind of,
if you have to go, what is that?
And then you'd be like, I don't know.
And it's already, I'm already out.
I mean, but it had, even if it's the better one.
It was the better one.
Even if it's the better one. It's like better one. Even if it's the better one.
It's like, if you tell me what Minimate is, it's like, I'm not even, there's not a thought of even, I know what it is.
Yeah, but that's because you grew up with it, man.
Well, that's what you're competing against.
I'm telling you why you failed.
I don't know why we failed, man.
I think we just didn't know how to be a food business.
We're more of a soap company.
So they are, yeah.
Cigar does soap? P&G?
Procter & Gamble. Tide is, Tide is.
Yeah. Tide would be
its own company. Tide would be a
Fortune 200 company by
itself. Yeah. And you throw Downey
in there. Yes. I mean,
those are the- It's a wrap. Yeah.
And we got kind of treated like the- Game over.
Stepchildren. Like, yeah. I was a food beverage rep, then you had the. Yeah. And we got kind of treated like the stepchildren.
Like,
yeah,
that was a food beverage rep.
Then you had the paper rep,
bounty,
Charmin,
uh,
pampers right there.
Giants.
Giants.
Okay.
And then you had the health and beauty,
like crest scope,
that kind of stuff.
Uh,
you know, and soap was that soap was tied like Cascade and that kind of thing.
So food and beverage, we got treated like stepchildren.
And we got abused in some ways because, you know, they could take it out on us.
Like the Tide guy would walk in and be like, yeah, you're going to take this because you need Tide.
And there's no substitute, okay?
And then I'd walk in there and be like – the guy would be mad at the Tide guy and he'd take it out on me.
And he'd be like, hey, man, I can get Maxwell House instead of Folgers.
You're not that big of a player.
Right.
Yeah.
So the expirations, do you think people get loose with that?
I hope not.
Yeah.
Man, I hope not.
Yeah.
I mean.
I hope not.
I hope not.
That's a serious thing.
You know, I don't think so.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not going to say anything.
Yeah.
I think you still got friends on the inside.
Yeah.
I just, you know, it'd be, it'd be a cheap shot to be that.
I think that some of these guys are doing it, but no, I don't think so.
Yeah.
I think now the retailer might, I mean, that was like an old, uh, Simpsons episode.
I think we're like, uh, Apu was talkingu was talking about, like, okay, this is the time of the day when we go change the expiration date.
Yeah.
I can't remember what the episode was.
I would imagine some of the retailers do.
Do you think you're, as a consumer, are you more worried about expiration dates than me, do you think?
Like, do you heed them strictly?
No, I do maybe just because I'm a maniac, not being able to finish a sleep study.
That OCD type thing is not because of my experience in the business.
Because again, most of our stuff, they all have the package stuff.
It won't have an expiration date.
If you notice, you get your peanut butter, it'll say best buy.
Yeah.
It's a best buy date.
So this product is best buy, you know, March 10th, 2025.
Right.
Okay.
But that doesn't mean you can't eat it.
It's not going to kill you.
It's the best before that.
It's going to taste.
But still pretty good after.
It's not going to hurt you. Right. But I, you, but still pretty good after. It's not going to hurt you.
Right.
But I,
you know,
you've all had like,
I get it.
And we weren't,
I get it with peanuts,
man.
I love,
I love peanut,
like dry roasted peanuts,
man.
And every now and I'll just take,
I'll be,
come on,
man.
There's something up here.
This is not.
Yeah.
I never liked the best buy thing.
Cause you're like,
well,
what's the actual thing?
Yeah.
You know,
cause it's,
I just take it.
Well,
that's my expression then I guess. I kind of do too. Yeah, yeah. You know, because it's – I just take it, well, that's my expression then, I guess.
I kind of do too.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, maybe on – like what, you know, spices.
That's the one thing I wonder.
Like spices, because they all have Best Buy dates on spices, and I'm like, do I really need to – I only use this spice every now and then.
I got to go buy a whole other thing of this spices.
Paprika or whatever. Yeah, I'll play it fast every now and then. I got to go buy a whole nother thing of the spices. Paprika or whatever.
Yeah, I'll play it fast and loose with spices.
Laura's weird with expressions, but I mean, I have a joke about that.
But yeah, I did.
Yeah.
But she'll, not weird with it, she'll let stuff fly.
Oh, really?
Oh, yeah.
Not like meat though, right?
No, not meat.
Eggs?
No, no, not that stuff. But I mean, anything that's like-
Dog medicine.
These Pringles are expired.
They're not expired.
Dude, did you try one of those?
Yeah, I did.
I mean, did you?
Honestly.
I did.
I savored it, man.
I enjoyed it.
It's the perfect amount of salt and vinegar on there, man.
It is perfect.
They're doing good things.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
I had a few Missouri questions I wanted to ask you.
Yeah, sure, man.
One of them I posed to these guys when you weren't here.
So the St. Louis Arch.
Yeah.
630 feet tall.
Yeah.
Do you know how wide it is?
No.
It was built in 64, was it?
Now explain what you mean by width.
Between the two legs?
Yeah.
Yes.
Man, I don't. i did know the 630
but i don't know that width what is you want to make a guess
i'll just tell you yeah 250 it's it's 630 it's the same oh man it's a perfect square is it really
yeah yeah you guys ever been up in it? Perfect square?
It's not square, but it's as wide as it is tall.
I have been up in it.
So you've made that?
Yeah, I have.
Is that what you're still saying?
If you were to diagram the space that this occupies in the sky, right?
Leg to leg, it'll go straight up from each leg and then across.
That's a square.
But, I mean, that's not the shape of a square.
No, it's not at all.
He's got you there, man.
Nice.
But I'm saying, let's say you put that on graph paper.
I don't even have to look at the internet to tell you to write them.
I do.
Yeah.
You get what I'm saying, though.
The space that it occupies is a square.
I don't. And we just said it's as tall as it a square. I don't.
We just said it's as tall as it is wide.
Yeah.
So that's what a square is?
That's a square.
So then what's the point of even having a square?
If anything can be a square, then what's the point of something being a square?
Why would you even have a square?
Let's get rid of squares because I guess everything's a square.
All right.
That's fair. i kind of see where
you're going yeah i'm saying if you put that on a graph paper yeah right i mean it you'd have to
which would be extremely difficult yeah not well not not to scale
all right that's a lot of paper is that what they would be waste it'd be wasteful is what
no i'm saying obviously it's an arch it's a different shape but. Is that what they would say? It'd be wasteful. No, obviously it's an arch.
It's a different shape.
But the fact that it's the same width as this height.
It's like a square.
You think about its actual, the space that it occupies.
You wouldn't put something to the left of the top.
But you know what I mean?
You wouldn't put anything there.
Whom would say that?
On top of the.
Well, I mean, if you look at the picture, if you bring in those...
If you would bring it...
If you crop it...
Right.
Yeah.
Now...
Now, you wouldn't put anything here is what I'm saying.
But I'm saying if you cropped it by the legs, you took that in, then you would have a square,
I think is what he's saying.
Yeah.
You could make a square out of this.
But it doesn't look like it from here.
No.
Yeah.
There's actually no bottom either.
Well, I'm saying... Think about... It's just the bottom's the here. Yeah, there's actually no bottom either. I'm saying, think about-
It's just the bottom's the ground.
So I don't know.
Yeah, there's no bottom.
It is the ground.
There is no bottom.
That would be cool though, man.
I guess if we could just put stuff together, anything could be a square.
You're like, yeah, we're just grabbing pieces.
This Pringles could be a square if you give me a couple minutes.
See that courthouse right there, the old courthouse in the middle there?
That's where the Dred Scott case was decided, right there in that courthouse.
Right in between the Arch?
Right in between the – well, I don't think at the time, no.
Arch was built in 64, I think.
The guy who vetted the –
Dred Scott was what?
Well, you know, Nate.
Yeah.
Couldn't a triangle?
I mean, that looks more like a triangle to me than a square.
Yeah, but what I'm saying is, look, you see where the mouse is right here?
You wouldn't build anything right there.
Yeah.
You wouldn't build anything right here.
So for all intents and purposes, this is a square this space occupies right here.
Square space, yep.
This is like where college, they just...
I don't even know how this could help someone that went to college versus not college.
I don't see the difference of what we're talking about.
All right, let me give you a good segue to it.
So the guy who invented the elevator for that,
college dropout.
All these architects
couldn't figure it out,
but this guy.
If you've been in that elevator,
you would say this guy
is a college dropout.
But, I mean,
this is Nate to a T.
He could figure out stuff
the other ones couldn't.
He made it half elevator,
half Ferris wheel.
Yeah, it does.
It kind of goes,
yeah, it kind of goes, it kind of goes yeah it's got
to my mother hated that thing yeah if you're any kind of claustrophobic oh yeah don't do it yeah
yeah i am now it'd be tough now yeah have you been up there i have when i was a long time ago
yeah you taking your daughter up no you gotta you gotta i know i would maybe have trouble though
because of the claustrophobia.
That museum underneath is really cool, man.
Yeah.
That's a museum of Western expansion.
It's really, really cool. Yeah.
Wow.
That's neat.
There was a guy.
I mean, I don't even know how to respond.
It's really cool, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
As a father, you should take –
Yeah.
Nah, she's learned enough. We're not teaching her. We're not teaching her past the Mississippi. Yeah. Yeah. As a father, you should take – Yeah. Nah, she's learned enough.
We're not teaching her.
We're not teaching her past the Mississippi.
Here I go.
That does sound like a Southern attitude, man.
Yeah, there you go.
She don't even learn all –
There's a bunch of nonsense on the other side.
What's that arch got to do?
I was like, well, good night.
You do not need to pass the Mississippi.
I said, good night, America, because it's over.
So there was a guy who used suction cups, climbed all the way to the top, and parachuted her down.
Really?
Yeah, in 92.
I thought you would know all this, Greg.
No, I didn't know.
Man, God, that reminds me of one of my favorite Norm bits on Center Live News when he was doing the update or whatever.
on center live uh news when he's doing the update or whatever he goes some guy he goes uh
a snake man guy that calls himself a snake man uh attach such suction cups and climb to the top of a new york skyscraper just like a snake
Like a snake.
That's a funny name for a snake, man.
He's like, ah.
Just like a snake.
All right.
You were in Kansas City this past weekend?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kansas City has more fountains than any city in the world, except Rome.
Really? Fountains?
Yeah.
You're drinking a fountain. Is this like a wheels or doors thing what do we call it felt like a decorative fountain decorative yeah uh
i just thought yeah so that does not include water fountains yeah no drinking fountains man
that's not what he's talking about oh okay he's talking about like yeah like fountains that have
water celebrity or there's a celebratory Statue in the middle Celebrity
Famous
Celebrity fountains
Famous fountains
Yeah I think most of those
Are on the plaza
I think most of those
It's funny the way it's said too
It's like
It's got the most in the world
Except Rome
Yeah
Well that's not
You go
I should just say the second most
Yeah
It's the second most
It's got the most in the world
Wow
Besides Rome
Well obviously
You know what I would say I bet you it got the most in the world. Wow. Besides Rome. Well, obviously.
You know what I would say?
I bet you it has the most barbecue per capita as any city. I was going to mention that next, that they're the home of barbecue.
I don't know if they have the most, but-
I don't know if they're-
I didn't know they were the home.
I can just tell you.
They have every corner.
Well, Kansas City barbecue is, I guess, famous barbecue, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, so is Carolina.
Yeah, Bernins is great. Yeah, Texas. Bernins are awesome. St, so is Carolina. Yeah, Bernhans is great.
Bernhans are awesome.
St. Louis is famous for ribs, which Nate doesn't like.
But, man, I just was there.
I had barbecue three times.
Well, St. Louis has all those mozzarella things.
No, you're thinking of toasted ravioli.
Toasted ravioli, yeah.
That's what I mean.
Yeah, it's got mozzarella inside of it.
No, I don't think it does.
Does it?
You're thinking fried mozzarella is a different thing.
Cheese sticks?
Applebees?
All right.
You go to Applebee's.
I'm back.
I'm back.
You get the little.
It always goes back to Applebee's.
You get a little front cheese sticks with some of those boneless ribs.
Oh, yeah, man.
Some Applebee's fries.
Applebee's has some good fries.
Toasted ravioli is a thing and the St. Louis-style pizza.
Yeah.
I think you'll be interested in this, Greg, the Missouri Hyperloop.
Have you heard about this?
No.
Do you know what a Hyperloop is?
It's arched, but it goes underground.
Yeah, like a square.
It makes it a full square.
It is a train, but it's like a – I'm forgetting the word.
Fast train.
A shuttle.
Oh, is this the thing we're going to do from St. Louis to Kansas City
yeah
that's not going though
is it
well it's still
there's still talk about it
there's a committee
it would be awesome man
it would be the fastest train
in the world
except for
obviously the train
that's faster
yeah
except for the one in Rome
what's the trip now
from St. Louis to Kansas City
how long is it
I just did it
yesterday
how long is it
three and a half
this would be
under 30 minutes
wow man it would change I'd be doing spots in Kansas City just because I could I just did it yesterday. How long was it? Three and a half. This would be under 30 minutes.
Wow.
Man, it would change.
I'd be doing spots in Kansas City just because I could.
Yeah.
I don't know how many people really need to bounce between St. Louis and Kansas City.
But it's good to know that it's going to be that quick. I can't imagine that they're like, a guy's like, if I could just bounce back and forth.
There's a lot of business.
I mean, T-Mobile's over there.
I know, but I just can't imagine.
Does it stop in Columbia?
That's where the Missouri-
I don't think you can stop it for 30 minutes.
Yeah, you can't do stops.
It says connects the city of St. Louis, Columbia, and Kansas City.
There you go, man.
Stop right where I went to college.
How are you going to do it in 30 minutes?
Are they still thinking about building it?
Dude, I just traveled on that.
There's nothing.
I-70?
It doesn't.
Yeah, I-70.
There's nothing that would let you know that that thing's coming.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I would love it, man.
It says Missouri Governor Mike Parson.
Is he still the governor?
Yeah, Parson's the senator.
He announced a panel committee to examine the funding and construction of it.
I'd like to see him put one between here and Nashville.
So what, you have to pay taxes for it?
Oh, sure.
That stuff drives me.
Wouldn't that be some fun with your taxes, man?
Now it's just like schools.
Kansas City, Missouri?
Yeah, but you're like just stolen stuff out.
Roads and stuff.
Like every year, your taxes, yeah.
It is probably something that some guy tried to get elected on.
Hey, what we're going to do?
Hell yeah.
But I mean, I don't know.
You think it's good for your body if you did that every day?
Traveling that fast, just your insides?
Do you think it's good for your-
People fly every day.
They go way faster.
Yeah.
That's true.
I don't know.
How fast would this be?
500 miles an hour?
I think so.
It's like magnets and there's no friction.
So it just zips along.
I almost don't trust it.
It feels like that RoboCop, man, when they'd send them into the future.
They'd stick them in that thing and they'd just fly off, man.
Elon Musk is trying to do one from Southern California to Northern California and get
from LA to San Francisco in 30 minutes.
He already has those tunnels, right?
Doesn't he have those?
He's trying.
They're called boring tunnels.
Yeah.
It's a good name.
Boring.
Boring.
Boring.
Some of the worst natural disasters in history in Missouri.
I always like that.
Some crazy tornadoes. Joplin tornado. Yeah, that was bad, man. That was Missouri. I always like some crazy tornadoes.
Joplin tornado.
Yeah, that was bad.
I had friends that were affected by that.
The New Madrid earthquake.
Yeah, the New Madrid fault.
Of course, in Missouri, we don't say New Madrid, which is how it should be.
It's New Madrid.
Yeah, that fault is real close to St. Louis.
They just had an earthquake?
This was like 1811.
1811.
That's how Rulefoot Lake was created.
We may be vulnerable.
Yeah, but everybody's vulnerable.
Man, this was over the course of three months.
Can you imagine?
Yeah.
Terrible earthquake in December, and then January and February.
They keep getting aftershocks.
Wow.
But every day?
No.
There's two additional aftershocks.
But two, and they were that big.
Yeah, they were that big that they just kind of lumped them all together.
An earthquake is about the scariest thing I've experienced.
I've never felt it.
I mean, all of the tornadoes and all the scary. It's the least control you have because everything is shaking.
Yeah.
It's every, like, it's, and you're like, it's the earth.
It's not, you know what I mean?
Like, you think, well, I'll run outside.
I'll run inside.
Everything is shaking.
It's, you have to go up.
You have to go up.
And then, so I climbed a tree and didn't feel anything.
And. Did you, were tree and didn't feel anything.
Were you in an earthquake?
Yeah.
What?
I've been in a few.
Well, you lived in LA.
I lived in- Well, I was in-
I was in New York when we had it in New York.
New York had an earthquake.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, I remember my things shaking in LA when I lived out there, but I don't ever remember
like this. I just feel like, oh, this is a little there, but I don't ever remember like this.
I just feel like, oh, this is a little weird.
You didn't think it's an earthquake?
No, it's, what do they call it?
It's like a-
Aftershock?
Tremor.
Tremor?
It's something like that.
And you just, you know, you've just seen it all in St. Louis, so you're not even phased
by the earth moving.
I had been around enough people in LA where like, this is a thing that happens every couple
of months where your china shakes.
This is the problem.
This is why I don't go across the Mississippi River.
The arrogance of once you pass it, everybody's like, this ain't going to wake up for the earth shaking.
I do remember stuff shaking in my condo in LA and being like, this is a little.
I mean, that map looks like we could be okay.
Memphis, not so much, but here in Nashville.
Of course, I live on the west side of town.
That's how the New Madrid earthquake would...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Man, that just...
Well, I guess that's how it affected...
That was 1895.
Yeah, it's the first time I felt one.
I went to LA and it was...
I mean, the light thing was really moving. It was like, it was a big one.
And then you would feel some little ones.
I know those little ones that you're talking about. And then you would,
in New York when we felt it, uh,
Laura worked in a high rise like for something, but like, I felt it.
And I was in New York. Cause it was like in LA, you were just immediately like,
that's an earthquake. Cause that's what they do. But in New York, it was like, well, I don't know what's happening.
Yeah.
And I was like playing video games at home,
and I remember sitting on the couch, and I saw a dump truck,
and I thought, is that dump truck just like that loud?
And then I would talk about it.
I'd go out.
This is how much people don't want to talk to their neighbors in New York.
We all walk out.
All of us are on the porches looking at each other.
Not one person goes, hey, did you feel that?
I mean, they don't have earthquakes.
None of us are like, hey, did you feel that?
We all just stared at each other and then we all just went back inside.
Yeah.
That is, I remember my parents visiting me up there.
Like now we'd all be in the cul-de-sac talking.
Yeah.
In New York, you're like.
Because you know your neighbors.
I do know
I remember my parents
and you're like
well what's your neighbor like
I'm like
I don't know what my neighbor's like
yeah
what are you talking about
I don't know that guy
yeah
I saw him once
we can wrap up
there's some cool things
invented
but that's like
they do worry
like they're
you know
everything's like
we're all on fault lines
we're all on everything
everything's on
you know
you're like
alright
what are you gonna do yeah yeah I want to have my own car We're all on fault lines. We're all on everything. Everything's on, you know. You're like, all right.
What are you going to do?
Yeah.
Yeah, I want to have my own car and not have to be mercy to this Hyperloop.
You know what I mean?
Isn't there something to be said about that?
I don't want to rely on this kind of transportation.
You're telling me that wouldn't be fun, man? I mean, it'd be fun to have.
Dude, if you had some of the KC barbecue, you'd be just going over there.
You're right. Seriously, what do you want to have. If you had some of the KC barbecue, you'd be just going over there. You're right.
Seriously, what do you want to go for lunch?
Go to Kansas City.
I think they're going to be sending an empty tube back and forth
because they're going to realize that, you know.
It's like at the bank.
Yeah.
Now, this is arrogance.
This is like you're just trying to say that it's two hillbilly towns
is what you're saying. No, no. I that it's two hillbilly towns is what you're saying.
No, no.
I'm on board a hillbilly town.
I'm saying, but I can't imagine you need the back and forth between St. Louis and Kansas City.
I can't imagine much business is being like, we got to get to Kansas City tomorrow.
There's a brewery?
Right now.
You got the brewery in St. Louis?
Yeah, you got T-Mobile over there in Kansas City.
Hallmark? Hallmark there in Kansas City. Hallmark?
Hallmark is in Kansas City.
Why do they need to go to St. Louis?
Huh?
Why do they need to go to St. Louis?
To the brewery?
Go up in the arch?
This is like uptown in New York where it's like uptown, midtown.
Like you're, you know.
Man.
I think St. Louis and Kansas City don't even really like each other.
They don't. Okay like each other they don't
a lot over that
show me series
right
so is this
so then what are we
even doing
this is going to
help end that
I did it
you're trying to
help end it
yeah you can
bring people together
it's your neighbors
now you're not
going to hate each other
I feel like you
come out of that
tube and your
hair is just like
back
Morty
yeah
you're just like
a mess
you come out and you're like, oh.
What was that?
Yeah.
Something's a little off about you.
Yeah.
There's something.
You go like, you can't sit down that day.
You go, I don't know, dude.
I tell you, your mouth tastes like.
I honestly just thought of the barbecue thing.
I would be like, what do you want to go for lunch?
Let's go to Kansas City and get some barbecue.
We'll be back in an hour.
If you could go anywhere in the United States in under
30 minutes, how often would you leave
the city where you live?
Oh, I would go.
Every day, would you go somewhere?
Well, if I was younger, it's going to be...
But even now, I'd go to, like, you're saying any city?
You can go anywhere. You wouldn't go to Seattle
for lunch once a day?
Maybe, but there's
places 30 minutes away now.
I don't go every day.
That's what I'm saying.
Can you imagine what you're doing?
You guys, everybody in this room is a road comic.
You think how cool that would be?
Yeah.
It'd be sweet.
It'd be sweet.
I'm going to go to New York and do a couple spots tonight, and then I'm going to come
back to St. Louis.
Yeah, yeah.
For that, absolutely.
That's going to be amazing for that scene.
Those scenes would explode because you're like, you get two cities.
Yes. I agree with the scene. But it would be like, you you're like, you get two cities. Yes.
I agree with the scene.
But it would be like,
you would be like,
I know the New York Times
would be like,
I mean,
these guys aren't even from,
they don't live here.
They don't belong here.
They're just coming in
on the Hyperloop every day.
Just come out of the Hyperloop.
Y'all gotta go do a set.
You're like,
it's like,
it's just all like,
you come out of it like,
you know,
and you gotta be in front of people and just say, hey, I just come out of it like and you gotta be
in front of people
and just
hey
I just got that
hyper mood
that's how I picture
all that's coming out
just like
oh
just a mess
just an absolute mess
it'd be like
they give you
the Pringles chips
that's the lunch
they have
and you're just like
I've got
I don't know
some guy gave it to me
there would be a whole as he handed it to you he's like they're shaking and you're just like, I've got to, I don't know, some guy gave it to me. There would be a whole...
Has he handed it to you? He's like,
they're shaking.
You're like, ah, thanks, man.
There'd be like a whole
genre of like
hack jokes about the Hyperloop
that you, you know,
when you get on the Hyperloop.
Golly, yeah.
Man, that would be awesome though.
Alright. That, it'd be sweet.
All right.
All right.
That's it.
This is it.
Oh, the backwards.
Looks like you just got off the Hyperloop.
Yeah, I did.
You just got off it.
And I do a podcast.
It goes, God, dude, what day is it?
All right, that's it.
I'll be in Europe.
London, I think, is sold out.
Amsterdam is close to sold out.
Dublin is probably close to sold out.
Oslo, you know, if you know someone in Oslo, give them a shout.
We're doing pretty good.
I think it'll be like 300, 400 people or something like that.
That's great.
Yeah, it's great.
And then Belgium, too.
But they're both
it's all going to be great
the people will be there
and so
I look forward to
meeting you guys out there
it's
it's going to be very cool
and I'm honored
to get to come
to your
to your land
so I'll be there
I'm home this week
but I do want to mention
a lot of people in Bristol
did not know this
April 14th
I'm going to be in Johnson City and I'm bringing Nate and Aaron with me and Dusty.
So April 14th, Johnson City.
A lot of people don't know that we're all doing that show as well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's the same weekend as the Bridgestones.
The night before.
The night before.
Wow.
Johnson City.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This weekend, I am in Lowell, Arkansas.
Oh, man.
The Europe of the United States. Wow. That place I'm in Lowell, Arkansas. Oh, man. The Europe of the United States.
That place is great.
Lowell is awesome.
The Grove.
The Grove Comedy Club.
I'm going to be there Friday and Saturday.
It's really exciting.
And then next week, I'm here in Nashville at Zaney's, headlining Wednesday night.
And then I'm in St. Louis, your stomping grounds, next weekend, too, at the Helium there.
So come on out.
Next weekend, you're in St. Louis there. So come on out. Next weekend you're in Salem?
Yeah.
Are you there next weekend?
I think I'm going to this coming.
Yeah.
We can probably do this after.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry, guys.
I screwed up the whole podcast.
Yeah.
Where are you at?
I'm going to be in – I'm doing private stuff.
I'm going to be at Dr Dr. Grins in Grand Rapids
in a couple weeks
that's a great club
yeah yeah
go check Greg's
website out
and see all his dates
and yeah
special will come out
in April
yeah
it's gonna be awesome
it looks great
yeah thanks man
it looks great
alright well
we love you
as always
and we will
talk to you next week
alright
see ya
bye Love you, as always, and we will talk to you next week. All right. See you. Bye.
Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi,
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