The Nateland Podcast - 151: #151 Illinois
Episode Date: May 31, 2023This week the guys are talking about Illinois so of course they discuss running from a killer snail, which liquids they'd like to have coming from their fingers, and which restaurant menu is the best ...if you only could eat from that restaurant.
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Aaron Weber, Dusty Sway.
All right.
Welcome, you guys.
Pre-recording this because I'm in Springfield, Illinois.
Springfield in almost every state.
No fun?
Yeah.
Springfield, that's Simpsons too, right?
Yeah.
I think that's why they named it Springfield because there's one in every state.
And it can be anywhere.
Yeah.
I think that was a good benefit.
I think that is, yeah, that might have been why they did it,
because they didn't want you to know the town.
Yeah.
And so it's like Springfield was a blend.
Are there even any indicators of what part of the country it is,
or is it just supposed to be just America?
Not that I'm aware of.
67 different Springfields across the U.S.
Wow.
More than one estate.
Is there a Springfields across the U.S. Wow. More than one estate. Is there a Springfield, Tennessee?
Yeah, Springfield, Tennessee.
Yeah, close to Nashville.
Okay.
It says it's like almost every English-speaking country on Earth
has a town, village, or city called Springfield.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
Why is that?
Just an easy one to
I guess there's
springs everywhere
Rand McNally
springs and fields
everywhere
did the maps
do we have
we talked about maps
do we have
did someone else
compete with him
it's just really him
right
what is the other
big map company
Rand McNally and I don't know well if you can't think of the other big map company? Rand McNally and...
I don't know. Well, if you can't think of the other
one, they're obviously not that big. I guess you're right.
One of them's dominating. But I feel like there's something
obvious I'm forgetting.
Merriam-Webster.
No.
That's Dictionary. I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, Google Maps has done a pretty good job.
Yeah.
I would say they've taken on Rand. You trust them? I don't know. I mean, Google Maps has done a pretty good job. Yeah. Yeah.
I would say they've taken on the brand.
You trust them?
Like, they know where you're at?
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not for it, but yeah.
I mean, what are you going to do?
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I mean, I don't.
Yeah. I mean, exactly.
If you use Google Maps and you're the thing, then they know where you're at.
And they know, they know your travel patterns too.
Like I got in the car this morning, I got in the car,
my phone pops up and says,
it's this amount of time to where we are right now.
It just knows I'm about to head there.
Yeah. I had that happen.
Cause mine would always pop up and say golf.
I'd get in a car and it was like legends.
And I was like, I wish. It's like your wife. Yeah. I'd get in a car and it was like Legends and I was like, I wish.
It's like your wife.
Yeah.
Golf again?
Yeah,
they just know.
But I've noticed that too.
It is very convenient
if it works.
Yeah.
I don't think I'm even
remotely using
the stuff that your phone
and all that,
like the way
you should be using it.
When I'm in a city.
Computer,
my computer is
everything on the plane is on that
desktop i just save everything in desktop my wife i just saw this has not rearranged anything on her
phone from the day she got it i haven't either so like yeah the browser's three pages over and
then the text is at the end she just scrolls back and forth. And I was like, this is insane.
I go, give me five minutes.
I will change your life.
She's like, no, I don't want to.
Yeah.
Because I got a system down.
She didn't know you could drag stuff at the bottom to keep down there.
Yeah.
It's like, oh, my God.
How are you living like this?
Wow.
And Lucy is on her phone a lot.
Yeah.
I know.
Yeah.
Quite a bit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like Lyft, when I'm in a city and I land, like a lot of times if I've been to that city before, it will know, it will basically predict where I'm headed.
Like if I land at the national airport and pull up Lyft, it has the address for my house, you know, because I put it in there before. But if I'm in some other city that I've been before, it will give me directions to the hotel that I stayed at last time.
Oh really?
Yeah.
Wow.
I mean,
not directions,
but it'll pull up in there.
Do you want to go there?
Yeah.
Do you want to go to the Hyatt?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know,
it's big.
You save the parking location on Google maps.
That'll come.
That'll save your life.
You save where you park.
I did it this week.
I got back from the airport, and I'm not kidding.
I spent an hour and a half looking for my car in the garage.
Really?
Yeah.
I was with Lucy and Joe Kelly, who came with me.
At a certain point, I was like, y'all just go get an Uber.
Yeah.
Because I can't find the car.
And I walked around with my luggage for an hour and a half were you beeping it and i finally i just i couldn't
remember what level i stayed on so i just had to just walk around the whole thing just pressing
the button next near up to my chin yeah yeah yeah what is that does that work it uses now
i've always heard that if you hold the remote up to your chin, it will use your skull as an antenna to lengthen the signal.
Yeah.
Wow.
And I've seen it work.
If you see your car at a distance, try it without it and it won't work.
And then hold it up to your chin and it will work.
I don't know the science behind it that much, but hey, it's worth it.
Worth it. Save's worth it.
Save a little time.
Yeah.
But I'm saying I make sure every time I park my car now, I'm going to write down where I parked so I know.
I usually take a picture.
And this time I thought, I'll remember.
This is just this morning.
I was in level three parking in the J.
And I thought.
Well, don't give out details.
Of the parking garage? Yeah. yeah no of where you park and uh i think you're a habit guy they'll go right back to it you go have fans just waiting level three i know you'd encourage you though but i
had in my head like pb and j p3 j but then when i got there today i was like it's jif i know i'm in
j and i'm walking around i'm like i can't find my
and i do it and i can hear my car honking from a different level one level up yeah yeah i can uh
i can just feel it you can just feel it out you guys not uber into the airport i feel it
that's the thing i i've been ubering to and from the airport for years now and i thought
last week i was like i'm gone for two days let me just drive a car and park i like it and just
see what that's like i like and i love it in theory but the one time i've done this it's an
hour and a half of me walking around and then i dropped my bag i was tired of carrying my luggage
yeah so i just kind of sat him somewhere yeah and then i walked around did another floor couldn't
find it i went back and i saw somebody had called the police on my bags in the parking garage
because they were just sitting there because you tucked them against a wall i did yeah i had my
camera case that looked a little like a black like you and i look like i don't think they saw me when
they called the police i bet if they described you they they go, I didn't see him, but here's what I think he looks like.
They would nail you.
Yeah.
They do a police sketch of what they think I look like.
And then they go, I wonder how close they could get.
That'd be a funny way to do police sketches.
Like if you could be like, here's a crime.
Who do you think did this?
Like if you could go through it and you could just be like.
Now, you think, let's say you get somebody's bag at the airport.
You think you can construct what somebody looks like based on what's in their suitcase?
I'm trying to think of just, like, information like that about somebody.
Probably.
I would love for someone to get my suitcase and try to figure out what kind of person this is.
Yeah.
You don't think it would,
this hat and that.
Well,
the hat's not ever in the case.
I know,
but like some of the button,
the button down.
Oh yeah.
I don't think you're.
Yeah.
A lot of denim.
I got a lot of other stuff.
Hairbrush in there too.
Yeah.
You go,
there you go.
All right.
Denim shirt,
denim underwear,
denim socks.
Okay. Trying to figure it out.
I think they would get you pretty good.
Well, I guess you're right.
The clothes side would probably give it away,
but I got a lot of supplements and vitamins.
That's true.
They might think I'm kind of a bodybuilder.
Yeah, you might.
Well, yeah, what you look like on paper doesn't.
Yeah.
But it's not
but it's not far i got a grounding mat in there i think they would i think they would they would
be like oh once they found out it would make sense but i just don't think people like people
don't think people like you exist yeah they think it's like a stereotype like it's they go well that
guy's not real and you're like no no i'm real and he's certainly not gonna be at the airport he's not gonna be the airport yeah he's not flying places he's not
he doesn't trust the airline he's not in clear clearly oh well you know what i did clear the
other day and uh i said uh i said can i do the fingers instead of the eyes i said i feel like
when i do the eyes it's burning my eyes and she the girl laughs she goes i'm laughing because do
you think that when you look at your cell phone i go yes every time and she didn't have anything to say i don't think she was ready for that answer
okay yes every time so this guy's the real deal but you still do it i do the fingers oh now yeah
like clear yeah i mean you i i think i'm still shocked that you gave the government this access to it.
Well, now that it's there, it's like, I'm about to try to get a flip phone.
I'm going to try to keep the smartphone, but get a flip phone too.
I would like a flip phone.
That's what I want to do.
Yeah.
Just when I don't need the smartphone for travel, just carry the flip phone.
If you step out to the grocery store or something, you don't need to have the smartphone with you.
Right.
Just take the flip phone.
Just leave it at home. Even when I'm at home, I don't need to have the smartphone with you. Right. Just take the flip phone. Just leave it at home.
Even when I'm at home, I don't need the flip phone.
I can check emails on my computer.
Wow.
What do you use the smartphone for then?
Text.
Well, to get addicted to social media.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
I agree with that.
Social media.
I'm back on trying to get Instagram back off.
trying to get, I want to get Instagram back off and like, uh, but it's texting is a texting is probably the only thing that I, that keeps me from doing it.
Yeah.
Well, it'd be much harder on a flip phone.
I think you could do it.
It's much harder.
And then like, I'm just in too many situations where like there's a group text.
There was a text of this.
That's like, kind of like, it's just the form of – it's like a form of business.
Yeah.
Hey, we got this going on now.
Be here for – that's the only –
The laptop still has the text.
Yeah, you can text on the laptop.
But sometimes if it's urgent, you're not always looking at your laptop.
It's as your walk – yeah.
It's not – you can definitely – yeah, you can't text on the laptop, but you got to be near your laptop.
I mean, I'll leave my phone. Yeah yeah i'll just leave my phone a lot so i just when we go walk around usually i mean i just like i'll tell laura i'm gonna leave my phone i mean i you have someone
usually has their phone on them so you like just call them if you knew that's just i i just would
like to have a phone if my wife needs me but um yeah i don't need all that other stuff
all the time what if she just did smoke she just what like smoke signals oh yeah well that would
work too yeah yeah i mean yeah we would have to establish it but yeah yeah yeah come up with some
signals what that means to go i don't know if that's her. You got to see some things. That should be mad at her.
Yeah, that smoke's too thick.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How long of a flight do you think you'd have to be on before you would choose a layover?
Like I flew to direct flight to California last weekend.
Southwest window seat.
I never got up the whole time.
It was four and a half hours.
Wow.
Well, it's a big deal. Yeah. Yeah.. It was four and a half hours. Wow.
That's a big deal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Four and a half hours straight?
Yeah.
Good for you, man.
They board so early that they let them.
They let them let me.
I'm saying you're old.
They board old people early.
Pre-boarded.
They pre-boarded you.
Then I wait for the kids and the veterans to come up.
You're one of those that when they walk by, you're already sitting there.
You've been there for a few hours.
Yeah.
You're like, oh, this is the first plane out.
It is.
But that last hour, you know, it's getting like I'm ready to get up.
Especially Southwest.
And if I could choose like an hour tops 15 minutes to land 30 minutes off at airport to
walk around get some food go to the bathroom and then 15 minutes on take off i think i would have
chosen instead of just direct flight that's why you got to get that aisle seat i mean that's what
i'm always an aisle seat person that way i used to be window too right now i'm an owl it wasn't
even i didn't even have to go to the bathroom but no but you can walk a little bit you can yeah you
can get up and just go to the bathroom to get up for a second all right and you don't feel as like closed up so
then you feel a little more free yeah i just can't sleep i like the window seat to sleep i like to
lean on it yeah i mean you got a much bigger problem the fact that you can't handle a non-stop
from nashville to california well i mean i handled it, but... But the fact that you would...
That's a giant problem.
That's a three and a half hour flight, maybe.
Maybe four.
It was four and a half.
Four and a half.
You got to hit some wind.
Four and a half is substantial.
I mean, it ain't...
I don't know if I'd take...
I'd rather take a direct flight, but...
Four and a half is a lot.
I would still take a direct flight.
I had to do it over again.
But I'm asking, how long of a flight
would you be on before you'd say,
you know what, it'd be nice to have a little stop.
Not four and a half, not four hours. I mean, from a direct flight. I had to do it over again. But I'm asking, how long of a flight would you be on before you'd say, you know what, it'd be nice to have a little stop. Not four hours.
I mean, from a guy that almost connects every time I leave the airport,
the direct is the way to go.
I don't know that there's any.
I don't even care about connecting that much.
That doesn't bother me.
I'll do it on Nashville to Vegas.
They have Southwest nonstop.
But then if I don't like the time of that, I can find something else.
And I don't have to be there.
I'm just going as a travel, a full-on travel day, not doing a show.
I'll do a layover because I don't mind a layover.
I actually like a layover.
You can go sometimes.
You go to Minneapolis.
It's got a nice airport.
You can walk around there, maybe get some tea.
You can go pick the airport.
I could see doing it.
I guess I'm not against the layover, but I think four and a half hours.
If you're in a car, four and a half hours, I bet you'd stop once.
Or it wouldn't be crazy.
Not if I could pee in the car.
Yeah, that's true.
And not if I had somebody bringing me Diet Cokes every time I wanted one in the car.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I think you should wear socks.
There's socks that help you sit for that long.
Compression socks.
I'm glad I brought this up.
I think that's the problem.
Well,
I took a direct flight of two hours to Virginia for Norfolk this weekend.
And I will,
I'll be honest.
I was like,
I'm used to connecting.
Yeah.
So I'm used to being on a
plane about an hour yeah that i was like i'd like to get up and oh well look at here look at here
but i i but i still i would not choose the connection over the over the stop yeah i mean
nobody's answering my question you just all attack me i'd say it was a it was a really bad question all right and the way it was presented was just not good but what was that
i mean i don't know i think people would just be like what's the most people want to get the
flight over with so you're yeah you're you know people like how long will the plane go i'll go
until the plane can't go like if it's getting me to the place yeah now if you're like you have to
have to say it's a i mean i think you're. Now, if you're like, you have to have to say it's a.
I mean, I think you're wrong.
I think you're wrong.
You think people would be like.
I think if it was a really long flight, longer than four and a half, like you're going to Australia or something.
And you had a choice just halfway there.
Let's just stop.
Get off a little bit.
Stretch your legs.
Get somebody to walk around.
Get back on.
Take off. You act like you're being kept with the dogs under the plane.
You're in a seat and you're going here.
Yeah.
When's the last time you've flown commercial?
It's been years.
Yeah.
Give me a break.
This is why I said like, if it were sick, I would say like six hours.
Right.
That'd be nice to like, you know, get out a little bit, but then it's like,
what do you do?
Three hours.
And then you got to get back on the plane and do another three. I like let's just do it just do it yeah let's just do it yeah
okay yeah where's the answer then i fly commercial all the time i don't fly luckily i don't fly that
much i gotta because we take the bus but i've done southwestern you just pop on and yeah i mean it's
you know i don't think it's that bad i think it's uh i'm trying to think
there's nothing in america that i want to lay over i did it london i mean eight hours like
i think the idea of it is you want if you're like,
you can stop once or twice.
Like you would stop twice for 12 hours.
Yeah.
I might,
you might push three times.
You might ask for it.
You would be like,
if they voted and they go,
all right,
we're going to do two or three times.
They go do three.
It's just your hand up.
And then they go do two into everybody else.
Maybe now. It also depends on what what what are you going to be encountering when you get out like you know when you stop or is it going to be good restaurants are you going to get to lay down
i mean because that would change things for me but if i'm at some airport where the food is
you know i don't know burger king yeah and it's hard chairs i'm like just keep me on the plane or the denver
airport you know yeah weird stuff oh yeah am i trying to hang out there too long yeah airport
just it's so big it's just not as like inviting it's i i don't you walk around a lot but it's not
it is it's very dark it's very i get a bad vibe from there oh yeah i don't i think it's just dark
and like it's just he's got the tunnels and you know i i just don't think it's just dark and it's just it's got the tunnels
and you know
I just don't think
it's as fun
but if you go
yeah Minneapolis
has got a great airport
and it's like a mall
you can just walk around
it's nice
go eat
like yeah
I do like layovers
but I don't know
if I would
you want to get there
yeah
okay but that's a good conversation starter yeah You like layovers, but I don't know if I would. You want to get there. Okay.
That's a good conversation starter.
Yeah.
Appreciate it, man.
It didn't go good for him.
Let's say 24 hours.
Not for me.
24 hours I want to lay over.
That would answer your question.
It had to be a 24-hour flight before you'd want to stop.
What's the longest the flight can go?
I think I've done it to Australia.
What is that?
From where did you fly from?
From here.
Nashville?
Not direct, but the whole trip, I think, is 18 hours in the air.
What are we even talking about here?
We're talking about what's the longest flight.
He's talking about in the air.
Singapore to JFK is 9,500 miles, 18 hours and 50 minutes.
Wow.
And the plane doesn't have to land.
That's nonstop.
You nonstop.
That's what I was asking.
Now, I've been on a United flight one time.
Flying around the world, you got a little lungs flies around the world.
You got to stop multiple times.
How would you go around the world?
I went to, well, I could draw it out for you it's very easy but the um the um uh you know i fought a full united one time first
class and they had seats that you could lay down in yeah like the seat would completely recline back
yeah now uh i've been, you know,
I've had a lot of first class seats and
most of them were, well, all of them
have not been that. Big money over here.
Well, I get upgraded. We're flying first class
quite a bit. I get upgraded,
you know what I mean? I never bought a first class ticket.
Oh, yeah. That's what he said.
You can't get upgraded on Southwest, dude.
No, you cannot. You smoke a cigarette
on the flight. That's first class.
I was a one.
What was those nonstop?
So go back to those flights.
18 hour like.
Yeah.
We got Singapore
to New York.
Number two is Singapore
to Newark.
Imagine leaving Singapore
and then you end up
in Newark.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it's it's funny
that it's just five miles.
It's literally
what is it?
14 miles shorter. Five. Five minutes miles. It's literally, what is it? 14 miles shorter, five minutes less.
That's like someone that goes, I just seen Newark.
You know, it's the longest flight in the world.
You're like, well, JFK.
JFK is five minutes longer.
Oh, okay.
I mean, when you land that plane after 18 hours in the air, it's just.
That's insane.
It's a long.
Go down and see what's...
Because I don't think
Auckland to New York,
they can do that.
That's 17 hours.
Oh, so the Melbourne to Dallas.
Oh, it's like a...
Magnetic North.
Melbourne to Dallas is...
That's like one that we could take
when I go to Australia. That's Qantas Airlines. Yeah. That's like the good one, right uh when i go to australia that's quantus airlines
yeah that's like the good one right yeah we never crashed that what well hold on why would you say
that in the air dude that's from rain man that's a big big line in the movie what i was quoting
rain man that's a big line in the movie yeah taking the longest flight on earth maybe do it
another time i've never seen Rain Man.
You look like you were in it though.
Melbourne to Dallas.
I've been compared to Tom Cruise.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that's what you're implying.
That like,
we could end up doing that flight.
Seven,
17 hours,
man.
There's Houston to Sydney,
17 hours and 35 minutes on United.
So, like, I don't know if I would, like, so it's basically,
I would say, like, your question, to make it better,
is it would be like, so you have a, here in Australia,
it's going to be Houston, there's an 18-hour flight.
So, add it to 23-hour flight.
So, it's like, how do you want to break that up? You know what I mean? so add it's a 23 hour flight so it's like how do you
want to break that up you know what i mean how do you want a 23 hour flight how do you want to break
it up so it's like i don't know if i want to be like give me two hour flight then a 20 hour you
know 21 hour flight yeah like that's 18 hours so if it's 20 uh so if it's 20 hours,
maybe you'd be like,
give me eight, then give me
ten. I'd maybe do that.
I would say nine and then sleep all night
in a hotel and then do nine the next
day.
That's not bad.
I would not.
I did that.
We had a layover
when I went to Istanbul when I went to the shows for the troops, cause you can
pick those.
Those are great.
Someone ever travels.
If you're young, have you ever got like, you just get one, they give you like a 18 hour
layover in a country and you just get out and they have to get, they, when I did, they
gave you, they had to give you a hotel cause it was over a certain amount of time.
So they had, they have to put you up and because it was over a certain amount of time. So they have to put you up.
And so you get a hotel room and then you just go.
So the layover was in Istanbul.
What did you guys get up to?
We went to the bathhouse where they did Taken.
Okay.
I think I talked about this.
You did.
Yeah, I went to the bathhouse to Taken.
It was me, Joe List, and Louis Katz.
Okay.
Yeah, we went all over
us the bull was fun yeah and then yeah it was a good way if you ever a crazy long if you're going
somewhere you can do that and go do a layover like that i could see that you're like all right
let's go do a layover and then you go to here for two days i've never been in this city and then you
break it up that way you know but not you know two hours to Dallas, spend the night, and then do the other two out to California.
That's what Brian does.
I don't think you guys were listening very close to my scenario.
You said how long, though.
And that's why I said 24 hours, I think, would be the...
Even though you just said Virginia Beach was two, and you're like, man, I got to get off this thing.
Well, yeah, but it's like it is the thing of like we still got to get there.
You know what I mean?
So, like, let's just do it.
Yeah.
I would hope for better seats than Southwest.
Is that really two hours?
Yeah.
Yeah, about.
With a time change.
Nashville to L.A., I've had it be three and a half.
It depends on the wind.
Coming home, it can be quick.
I just did it. And three and a half? Yeah Coming home, it can be quick. I just did it.
And three and a half?
Yeah.
Yeah, it can be fast.
You just hit.
You just, you know.
Slower?
You're just playing your vibe.
You come on something to vibe.
I'll tell you what, people.
You know what I mean?
Like, I think if you see, if you ever get on a plane and you see Brian Bates on it,
buckle up.
It's going to be a slow flight.
Well, you, buckle up. It's going to be a slow flight. You should buckle up.
It just naturally
just, that's what walks
around you is just slowness.
It just goes around you and you sit down
next to someone like, I'm in a
hurry. You can just hear
before you walked on the plane,
the pilot would be like, three and a half hour flight
today. Brian Bates sits down and he goes, that's crazy.
This wind's picked up.
I'll be honest with you guys It'll be five hours
We're gonna be
Running in the thick of it
I've had it take five hours too
A flight to Nashville
You had a five hour flight
Brian was riding with you
Huh?
Brian was with you
Right next to me
Yeah
Looking out the window
You have a lot of flight
You better have some
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
All right.
Jensen Thomas.
Jensen.
Whenever I need a comfort show, I turn on The Office.
Whenever I need a comfort podcast, I turn on Nate Land.
When I'm caught up, I just start from the beginning and listen to it again.
One of my favorite comments during the first episode is,
see if owls can get chicken pox.
Yeah, we were getting into it from day one.
Yeah.
That is so funny.
Do owls get chicken pox?
That's when that owl was laying down.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
I forgot about that.
Yeah.
Chickens can get chicken pox, too.
That wasn't a question at all
Was it?
No it wasn't
It was owls
Yeah owls
Yeah let's
I assume they can
They can do everything a chicken can do
And more
I think so
And turn their head all the way around
Yeah
Probably smarter too
That's how
They're supposed to be wise
Yeah
The owl
Tyler Wigfield
I was raised in a very strict christian household
so i related to nate's special heavily as i've grown older my parents and i haven't always seen
eye to eye on what i like in entertainment sometimes i never felt like i could share
the things that i enjoyed the most until your special when it came out i was going home for
a weekend and we watched together it was the hardest i'd ever seen them laugh and it felt
so good to have them connect with me on something I enjoyed so much.
Well, that is beautiful.
Thank you, Tyler.
That's great.
Yeah, that's awesome.
That's the way we do it.
You know, it makes me happy.
Courtney H.
Hello, folks.
I recently competed in my first Muay Thai fight in Thailand.
Wow.
All right.
How about it?
Backstage before the fight, most fighters have headphones on with their favorite music
to psych themselves up before heading into the ring.
Not me.
I was re-listening to old episodes of Nate Aaron and Beanie Baby.
Nothing like a little horse divorce to calm the pre-fight nerves.
I won by KO in the third round.
Thanks, folks.
Wow.
I do hear that
people listening
to the older episodes
without me
will make them
pretty upset.
Yeah.
Ready to fight.
Yes.
Oh, that's it.
Oh, that's it.
I thought it would
make them happy.
That's fighting,
I mean,
in Thailand.
Yeah.
Like, that's the real deal.
What?
How do you say it?
By the way you say it.
Thailand.
Both times.
In Thailand.
Thailand.
In Thailand, of all places.
It's like Nate Land.
Nate Land.
Thailand.
Thailand.
Yeah.
Thailand.
Thailand all.
Peter Reese.
In the last 18 months, I got married, had a deadly alcohol withdrawal seizure,
recovered, stayed sober, got promoted to kitchen manager of a job,
bought a house with my wife, and lost around 80 pounds.
Dusty and Nate, you two are inspirational.
Keep it up.
Love the positivity.
All right. We are inspirational. Yeah. up. Love the positivity. All right.
We are inspirational.
Yeah.
I appreciate that.
Y'all are running the mill.
They offset.
Yeah, we offset it.
We bring it back to zero.
It's a wild 18 months.
It's pretty wild, yeah.
You want to be too inspired.
That's a big 18 months.
Deadly alcohol withdrawal seizure.
I mean, that's intense.
Good for you, Peter.
That's good.
Yeah, I've seen like there's people that, I know sometimes people bring up like about being sober or like the guys that
want to do it. And I read a book, Jason, mine, I read Jason Vale quick to quit the drink easily
is how I did it. I don't know. You just quit. I did just quit. I mean, I, I haven't drank in
11 years and I was drinking like, I don't know, at least
six days a week getting pretty hammered.
And I was trying to, you know, I would take one day off a week.
And I think that helped me in the end because I think it's when people are just doing it
every day.
I would always try to do a sober day, you know, and I think that helped me to where
my body didn't become so dependent on it.
But yeah, I quit drinking and smoking in the same day cigarettes and i was
like i felt great yeah not particularly that day yeah but i started feeling so good that i was like
i never want to do that again yeah that's what happens you you you do become you get so scared
of breaking like you don't want to lose the control yeah Yeah. I have it with food now where I'm in a good stretch right
now and I can, and I'll feel like I want something, but I know, I mean, it's as simple as
like, you can just eat the wrong thing. And if you're like, I've been drinking a lot of water,
so let's drink a gallon of water a day. So I've been drinking a gallon of water a day and I can
tell when I get, I feel very hydrated hydrated but then i can tell when i get very
dehydrated and you know it could be drinking coffee soda can do it like they're uh but you
just like start you're like i just want water like you just you feel so good that you don't
want to mess it's like you got a streak going on but then and the feeling is so good. And, you know, once you do something, it's going to be like, ugh, gross.
Danielle Sheehan.
Danielle Sheehan and Reagan.
I'm fairly new to the podcast and I've heard some mention that Nate is dyslexic.
Is that true?
My 10-year-old daughter is dyslexic. The special school.
That's a deaf one. The special school. Cool. The special school.
That's a deaf one.
It's two S's.
And we already answered your question.
Oh, the special school she attends is far from home.
And we listen to the podcast in the car.
Reagan, Danielle and Reagan.
Look, I'm pretty sure I do.
I don't know.
Yes. I think it says they weren't doing schools when i was little he just he just figured it out he didn't read i think it's great that
you're gonna yeah it's all right i mean you know what a lot of people are dyslexic and people learn
things at different times too and they just you know not everybody learns the same i think we're
all expected everybody to read exactly the same to learn exactly the same it's just not the way it is
you know she's gonna be uh smart i mean just look at me i've been trying to teach
on this podcast since i joined yeah it's not sinking in yeah you know what i mean
that they didn't hear that don't mention reagan. Reagan, don't mention that. The school you go to, please.
Yeah, don't bring it up.
Yeah, I wouldn't bring it up.
We're all doing bits here.
We're all doing bits.
We're all doing bits.
We're having a good time, Reagan.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I like that she's going to that school.
She'll be super smart.
She'll know how to deal with it.
She can teach me.
I mean, I don't have to go to school then.
I'll just learn.
Yeah.
That's what he should do.
But Reagan, I'll be honest.
I don't want to go to school again.
So you just tell me.
All right.
Give me the cliff notes.
Reaganomics.
Reaganomics.
Oh.
There it is.
Wow.
Sean Eschindel.
Eschindel.
With Nate being the name expert that he is,
I'm expecting my first baby boy in three months.
And I'd love to hear his thoughts on a perfect name
that goes with my last name.
Sean.
I'll tell you what, it's not Sean.
Sorry, Sean.
Eschendal.
Eschendal.
I think we've got to narrow it down.
How do you say that name?
Eschendal.
Kindle. Kindle Eschendal. Eschendal. It could be Eschendl. I think we've got to narrow it down. How do you say that name? Ischendl. Kindle.
Kindle Ischendl.
Ischendl.
It could be Ischendl.
Oh.
Ischendl.
Billy.
Billy Ischendl.
Bradley Ischendl.
Yeah.
Okay.
Ischendl.
I was thinking, it makes me think of the golf, Brandon,
Brandon, the golf announcer.
Look up golf announcer, like B-R-A-N-D.
Like that's his, it'll come up.
It should come up.
Brandly or Duke Brandly.
What is it?
Oh, yeah.
Brandle Shambly.
Brandle Shambly.
That's what made me kind of what I thought of.
Brandle as Shandell. But's what made me kind of what I thought of. Brandle Eschandle.
But it's like that kind of vibe.
Brandle, Brandle.
Yeah, okay.
Brandle Eschandle.
Sean Eschandle.
Eschandle.
Eschandle.
Well, I'm struggling too, Sean.
I have a baby being born soon, and i don't have a name so
i'm with you eshendul is tough though slay anything goes with it yeah like even like my brother's
derrick but derrick eshend like i don't know if i like it's too big of a change it needs to flow
brandol and you know it's like what's an e you don't want it to rhyme. You don't want it to rhyme, but like, what's an E at the end of a boy's name?
Johnny.
Johnny Ischendal.
Yeah.
That's not bad.
Tommy.
Tommy.
Tommy Ischendal.
That's a little too Johnny Ischendal.
It sounds a little more.
Bobby.
You know, that's an old school name.
Bobby Ischendal.
Bobby Ischendal.
You don't hear a lot of Bobbies.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Bobby's a good name.
Bobby's a good name. I like Bobby. Bobby Ischendal. Bobby You don't hear a lot of Bobbies. Yeah. Yeah. Bobby's a good name. Bobby's a good name.
I like Bobby.
Bobby Eschendorff.
Bobby McGee.
What about Ricky?
Ricky Bobby Eschendorff.
Let go full on Talladega Knights with it.
I think they got, seems like a family from money.
Eschendorff does seem like a fancy last name.
Like Ricky is, Ricky's, if you name him Ricky, he's going to be trouble.
That's true.
Like you need
You know
You don't see a lot of Ricky's trading stocks
What you need is a Theodore
And he goes by Teddy
Yes
Teddy Eschendor
I love that
Yeah
But Theodore is
Formal enough
Theodore
Theodore Eschendor
Is like
That guy
Yeah you can be
President
You can be whatever you want
For sure.
But then Teddy, Teddy.
Yeah.
I like that.
That's good.
That's good.
Please keep us up.
Let us know.
Uh, she's like, I went with Steve.
Sean Jr.
Steve is not bad either though.
Stevie.
Steve.
Just Steve.
My, my dad, Steven, Steven.
Steven.
And he goes, Steve, Just Steve. My dad, Stephen. Stephen Eschendoll is not bad. Stephen. And you go Steve. Both work. I do like Teddy. Theo. Go by Teddy. Daniel Leonard. My brother-in-law was one of the medics at the Bridgestone show. And not only did you set a record with attendance, but he told me that you guys had zero call-ins for people needing medical attention, which according to him has never happened.
I told him that's exactly why I like this group so much.
You guys bring to the table what most of the entertainment industry is lacking,
good, clean fun.
That is very interesting.
That's awesome.
Zero call-ins.
Yeah.
People just having a good time.
If people were drinking and having fun.
They're not.
They're not.
They're not.
They're not causing problems.
Not problems.
I will say a lot of Nate Land people come to my shows now, and I get told by comedy clubs all the time how nice and polite and how well my audience tips.
And it just feels good.
I mean, it feels like we have a good, classy bunch of people.
Oh, it's just...
And you realize it's just the world.
The world is a nice place.
In some ways, I'd like to trash my shows up a little bit, but...
Yeah.
You're usually the trash that's there.
Yeah.
I'm the trashiest one of my shows now.
Yeah.
Lindsay Blair.
I like those.
I would love all the guys' perspective.
I had a psychology teacher in college who argued that altruism,
altruism, what is it?
Altruism.
Altruism is impossible because that would require a person
or groups of people to have absolutely
no selfish motive when deciding to act. I don't know what altruism means.
Yeah. Doing something good for somebody just for the sake of it being good.
I agree that altruism is impossible, but I love bringing this up with groups of people
because it sparks quite the discussion. What do you guys think? Is altruism impossible?
I mean, you think she just goes in groups and
asks people that? She brings it up all the time?
Walks up to strangers?
That's my kind of small talk.
Yeah.
What do you think? Altruism is impossible?
I don't even know what you're talking about.
Formal
definition here is the act of helping somebody
else at some cost to oneself, which can include.
So it's helping somebody for truly unselfish reasons.
Where you gain nothing.
I don't think it's impossible at all.
And you're saying that's impossible?
I don't think so.
I say it is impossible.
Do you?
Give me an example.
Where you're helping an old lady cross the street.
You're doing it because it makes you feel good.
No, but what if she needs help because she's old?
Well, yeah, that's not the point though.
What about just giving a homeless person money?
Well, you're doing it for selfish reasons.
You're doing it to get the person away from you or you're doing it to feel good or you're
doing it for people to see you do it i guess you're doing it to in a way it makes you feel
good but i don't think you're doing it to feel good yeah i'm not like i'm depressed i better
go give some money to some homeless but i helped a lady yeah at uh uh at the airport, like she, she was looking for her daughter when we were in somewhere.
I forget.
And I,
and I helped her do it.
I helped her find her daughter.
I just talked to her for a second and that was it.
And then I went inside the airport and I didn't draw attention to it.
I didn't like,
I just walked over alone,
did it by myself.
And then went inside like
what would i gain did you not feel any kind of social responsibility to do that oh i mean you
could just see someone needed help i don't know if i thought of like oh i need to go help this
old person i think i just you're like someone needed help what's the difference if you see a
if you see a kid that can't find his parents i mean
what deed is coming from that you're like oh this person lost their kid you're truly just trying to
help this kid out yeah what's the deed from it that you want to see people see you help a kid
out that's just or you feel good by doing it did you feel good doing that i know but then that's
then we're you're now you're getting into like, what is it even?
So you just, nothing's nothing then.
So nothing's nothing, which is the extreme version of exactly what the, uh, the Dunner
Kerg and Nancy Kerrigan, the Nancy Kerrigan effect.
Uh, but it's, yeah, like it means if you can pick apart everything, they will, did you
feel good about it?
You're like, then, I mean, honestly, this teacher should be just fired.
Do you?
Which is the Duncy-Kerr.
Let me tell you what, I had something going back there.
You guys both think it's impossible?
I mean, using those examples, yeah.
I think we usually do something good because there's some ulterior motives behind it for ourselves.
But, you know know it's what if you let a balloon go and a little kid sees it in a hospital but you didn't know he was up
there but that meant a lot to him and then you let it go just because it's fun to watch well that
wasn't altruism then you were doing it just to do it you weren't doing it to help somebody so
they're saying okay so altruism just means like, it means it's just.
But is it possible to do something that makes you feel good, but not do it because it would make you feel good?
Yeah.
I mean, when I helped that lady, I didn't do it because I made me feel good.
It just, I'm trying to, I'm trying to solve a problem.
It might've made you feel good, but that's not why you did it.
You're doing something.
You're, you're, yeah, you're, uh, yeah.
I mean, you're just being nice to someone.
I had really no emotion with it.
I didn't walk away going like, I feel good.
I, would you have felt bad if you just walked away and didn't do anything?
I would have, I would have felt bad because yes, because I saw that she needed help.
So you did it to, to avoid feeling bad?
No, because I'm looking at a problem, so it needs to be solved.
So I would just be like, well, I didn't help that problem.
Why would I not solve that problem?
I know, but so if you get into this, dude,
there's no reason psychology should exist.
Because what this feels like to me is like you could never give the answer.
Because what if you say it then
that teacher goes but you did you feel good and then you're like well so now we're i don't even
know what what are you supposed to do like you're is it how you couldn't even do anything without
feeling good i mean you would have to do something without knowing that you did it you it would have
to be without known so you couldn't know which if's the case, then you're saying it's not altruism.
Well, if that's not altruism, then it is impossible to this man's definition.
But it's not impossible in the fact that people are good people.
They help people cross the street.
I'm just giving these quick examples.
A young child's yelling for her mom, can't find her.
I help her find the mom.
I don't do it because it makes me find her. I help her find the mom. I don't
do it because it makes me feel good. That was presented to me randomly. And then I solved the
problem and it helped because the parent needs the kid, the kid needs the parent. So you're just
trying to put them back together. I don't think I need anything from it. I didn't do it because I
want to do something. But then if you tell them why would, that's literally, if it's helping a
kid out, then he's saying that's impossible how is that impossible well he's saying it's impossible
for something to be and this is i'm sure this teacher just off argued this to get discussion
going and we don't know it was a heat and what kind of psychopath would you be to do good deeds
and not feel good about it well that's a separate argument whether it even matters.
It could be truly altruistic.
That's how they do a semester.
Because they can't.
They'd be done in 30 minutes.
But college is
dragged out, so they've got to just keep going.
Well, what if
then the sky came down
and it was yellow?
And you go, well, I didn't know it could be a yellow sky.
You go, what if there was?
Yeah.
What would you do?
And then we think about it and they talk about it.
Next thing you know, they're on a different, just, I mean, on another level.
200 word essay.
They live on another planet.
Like they're just gone.
And then you come back and then you leave college,
go to the real world and have no skills
yeah that's true because you just go it's true in a lot of ways because you're you and lindsey
are just walking into groups of people going you think altruism is impossible this is just a
question of like what why do we really do what we do are we satisfying desires that we have and then it's
just like can anything be can you ever do something 100 just for good nothing to do with you with no
self-interest at all but that's helping that is at least an interesting argument but they argue
look when you see a kid being hurt or something you have a desire to help the kid so by helping the kid
you're satisfying that desire then you're looking then you're talking about a robot a robot is the
only thing that has no emotions so humans have emotions it's in it is impossible if you bring
up emotions it's impossible so there's no conversation part of this argument well there
is no argument because everybody has emotions so there is no argument there is because the only way
to have an argument is there has to be an answer.
He's making you talk about something that is impossible.
Because if anything I say, you then go, well, you don't think it makes you feel better inside or it doesn't do that.
If you want to say that all day long, I want my human being.
I can't.
I have no answer.
I can't make that go away.
A robot could do something for the good of the person that has no emotion.
I cannot.
So it is impossible, which that means this is a ridiculous question because there is
no way, according to this, according to what the psychology teacher is, there's just no
way.
Cause you, cause you don't do, you don't help a kid find a parent and there's nothing inside
of you that makes you think
I'm doing this for the good.
It's like you do an immediate reaction
and solve the problem.
It's just pure instincts.
It's pure instincts.
I don't think you're doing something like that
because it's good.
It's just you're,
you are just a human
that's like going like,
oh, that needs to be solved.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I think that as long as,
if you're not doing it to make yourself feel better. Flat earth guy, go ahead. Yeah. I mean, I think that as long as, if you're not doing it to make yourself feel better,
yeah. Yeah. If you're not doing it to make yourself feel better, then that's not your
motive. That's what it says. There's no selfish motive. That's what I think.
I don't know if we needed your part at the end.
I wanted to smooth the rant out. It came out hot.
You didn't help me.
It came out hot.
And I'm not tired.
Here it goes.
Oh, boy.
Lindsay.
What kind of party is she?
I mean, she walks into these parties, just blows the whole party up.
People are like, no, we're tired.
You're so boring.
You ain't ever going to get Lindsay just gone.
She's like, I mean, every party, you're like, don't invite Lindsay.
She asks all these questions?
And then people start losing it.
We're having a baby shower.
We're having a baby shower.
She goes, hey, she pulls, she corners people.
I think the next question is going to be much more up your alley.
What?
Oh, Paul Wolf.
If you could have an infinite amount of liquid slosh, slosh.
Sorry, Reagan.
Paul Wolf, if you could have an infinite amount of liquid slash sauce in each finger on one hand like a tap, what would you choose?
Mine would be water, type O negative blood, coffee, penicillin, and Duke's mayonnaise.
Oh, like in each finger.
Yeah, the mayonnaise feels like a waste to me.
I would say the type O negative blood, you can have that.
Yeah.
Just make your finger a tap and it'll come out for you.
Well, is O negative the universal donor?
I just assume that's what his blood type was.
I think that's the universal donor.
Yeah, so you can just give blood just constantly.
When do they tell you what your blood type is?
When you're born?
People of any blood type can receive type O.
When you give blood, they tell you.
You don't have any.
I don't know what mine is.
My mom knows, I think.
I've had to ask her before.
Yeah.
I think my mom.
Mom, what blood type do I have?
She listens to the podcast.
Yeah.
Let her know.
We'll find out next week.
Water feels like a waste too.
Water's too easily accessible.
I would go water though
because you never need to
anytime you're thirsty
you could just
Yeah.
Yeah.
Water's great.
I'd like water.
Water's great.
Would you do that finger?
I would do my thumb. Because you're going to do it the most. Yeah. And that's just easiest. You're Water's great. I'd like water. Water's great. Would you do that finger? I would do my thumb.
Because you're going to do it the most.
Yeah.
And that's just the easiest.
It's like you're just sucking your thumb.
Yeah.
But I mean, you got to go.
That's the one that's like you're just, you got to do it all day.
It's just the biggest too, right?
So it'd be a flow of the best.
You just shoot it.
That may be your mayonnaise one though, if mayonnaise is one of your-
I don't know.
Put mayonnaise on the thumb yeah all
day man how often are you eating mayonnaise you want to waste one of your fingers on this
liquid that makes me mad what about ketchup you like a lot of ketchup yeah the blow why did you
put any liquid i mean look what about oil ladies and gentlemen oil I can sell barrels of it. Oh, yeah.
Motor oil?
Motor oil.
What about liquid gold?
Is that a real thing?
You got it in your body, though.
You got oil in your body.
No, I don't think this stuff is stored in.
You better hope.
Better than mayonnaise.
You better hope you don't mess it.
You go, hold on.
You put the wrong finger.
I'll be honest.
You better put oil on the pinky.
Yeah.
And water on the thumb.
You want them to be far. Yeah, for sure. You want them to be far yeah for sure you want them to be far laundry detergent or soap
would you have soap you wouldn't have to waste the time i never waste the time hand sanitizer
on this you could maybe do hands but i think you do it too much i wouldn't do hand sanitizer
you don't want to waste it on you know it is like you want it to be fun. Yeah. Wine, maybe some wine.
I would do wine even though I don't drink.
I would just give it to other people.
Yeah.
The life of every party.
This could be very tempting.
That's true.
That is true.
Yeah.
Wine's always available.
You just bite the wrong nail and you relapse for 15 years.
Yeah, yeah.
That's true.
It'd be a good party trick though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. I like the old. Yeah, that's true. It'd be a good party trick, though. Yeah. Yeah.
I like the old...
Like, turn water into wine.
But it's got to be fun things.
But...
So, if you say it's got to be condiments...
Penicillin.
Penicillin.
This is like a real...
Yeah, this is the...
This is like, I think,
what does come out of your fingers.
Which one is that?
If it's... I would do hot mustard.
I mean, I could take some mustard on there.
It feels unnecessary.
No, McDonald's hot mustard.
Oh, okay.
Get it right, Dusty.
Not regular mustard.
Okay.
I agree.
That would be unnecessary.
McDonald's hot mustard, another it's doing it's
doing its own thing i would do that ketchup uh yum yum sauce now what is you're wasting three
fingers on a sauce but this is so it's interesting nate is you're in you're always gonna have to get
food yeah so why don't you just get these condiments as you're getting the food it's not
like i don't understand the benefit of half.
That's true.
Just get it.
Just get the hot.
When you get McDonald's, just get the mustard then.
It's always kind of a pain to ask for.
They don't want to give it to you.
I would stick with hot mustard because they don't want to.
Sometimes they want to charge you a quarter and all this kind of stuff.
It's not easy.
What about maple syrup?
That stuff's expensive, too. It can be. Or honey.'s not easy. Oh, what about maple syrup? That stuff's expensive too.
It can be.
Or honey.
Honey too.
Oh, yeah.
Water, honey, maple syrup, motor oil.
And gas.
Why not gas?
Yeah, gasoline.
Yeah, gasoline's big.
Though, man, that would take a long time to fill up the car.
That's my five, though.
You just sit your pinky in there.
Or your clicker.
That's not a bad five, honestly.
That's my five. Yeah, because honey's
tough to have around.
Real maple syrup is expensive.
You'd always be sticky.
You'd have to clean it off
every time. It's like a spider web.
Honey gets everywhere.
Honey gets everywhere.
You accidentally miss something. It's just
on your clothes.
Honey would be a nightmare. You have to wear gloves all
the time. Yeah.
On that hand, you wear a glove.
Like a
hot glue gun would be interesting.
You could see one of them as a hot glue gun.
I mean, that's pretty convenient.
Or like a caulking.
Yeah, a caulking gun.
You could just, like, the windows or the seals broke and you're always ready to... I have to switch careers. All five fingers just do caulking? Yeah, a caulking gun. You can just like, the windows or the seals
broken, you're always ready to...
I have to switch careers.
All five fingers just do caulking.
Caulking, caulking, caulking, caulking.
Motor roll.
Motor roll.
I was saying like, if it's got to be
condiments, which five condiments
would you do?
Barbecue sauce, Chick-fil-A sauce, mustard. Regular mustard. saying like if it's got to be uh condiments which five condiments would you do barbecue sauce chick
filet sauce mustard regular mustard yeah i say regular mustard yellow mustard i think you could
do a mustard and a hot so i do a honey mustard maybe a hot sauce there you go like a like i
would do something like that something thick and i would do honey mustard something viscous maybe
a charlie's honey mustard okay I hope you're getting restaurant specific
on all this.
Well, you said
Chick-fil-A sauce.
That's true.
That's true.
You're right.
Honey mustard,
O'Charlie's honey mustard,
McGowan's hot mustard,
Heinz ketchup.
How about some kind of
like special sauce
from like a Zaxby's?
Like a...
Yeah, Guthrie sauce?
Yeah.
Like a Jim Bob's
chicken finger sauce
specifically.
I don't...
Yeah, I'd need to taste it.
Yeah.
I could see... Dusty, put it. Yeah. I could see.
Dusty, put your finger out.
Yeah, I could see barbecue sauce.
Now, they sell O'Charlie's honey mustard in jars.
Yeah, I know.
We've got about 12 fingers going.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And maybe like maybe some Taco Bell.
The pinky some Taco Bell.
A little fire sauce?
Yeah, I'd go.
Yeah, I could maybe go fire. Let's see. I'd go hot. I do hot. Yeah, I'd go. Yeah, I could maybe go fire.
What's the I'd go hot.
I do hot.
Yeah, I just go hot.
Yeah, that's a good question.
That's a really good question.
Sorry, Lindsay.
Why don't you bring that up, Lindsay?
That's the question you should be asking at your parties.
That's the question she has to ask After she gets everybody in a blowout fight
Over the altruism
The altitude
She's got them
Joshua Crowe
Watched Greatest Savage American for the fourth time
And noticed that during the infamous
Syrup on the waffle maker story
Nate says his friend is my age
I feel this should be pointed out
As I hear breakfast age getting
slammed out here each
week.
I threw him a bone, folks.
It made sense for the bit that it would be
the guy, your same generation.
Yeah, if I would have said
he's older than me, then it's like
you might have to address that.
It's kind of understandable.
It could be understandable or you might have to address it it's kind of understandable yeah well yeah it could be understandable or you just gotta address it yeah that's like my sister's
nine years younger than me but i say 10 in the joke because it's just you know because it's like
as it you know i'm 25 she's 21 i'm 28 18 28. you's just trying to make it easy, man.
But it's all close.
Joanna Marie Zimmerman would love to hear the crew's thoughts on this Twitter topic attached.
All right.
It says $10 million right now in your hand, but there's a catch.
A snail is chasing you for the rest of your life. and if it touches you, you die a terrible death.
The snail cannot be killed.
It knows your location at all
times. Its only purpose is
to find you. Are you taking the
$10 million? Nah.
Why not?
Just too much hassle?
The only thing I'd say this,
I don't think that's enough money to make it do this.
Like if you just said a hundred million,
that's the more like 10 million. I'm not saying,
and I know it's going to seem like,
I know 10 million is a ton of money.
I'm not saying it's not a ton of money,
but for something that's going to haunt you for the rest of your life,
you don't want just $10 million.
I mean,
dude,
it costs the cost of living everywhere is so expensive.
Yeah.
I mean, you go, where are you going to live?
New York?
I mean, it's like, there goes, there goes three of your $10 million.
I mean, truly.
So if someone gave you $10 million, like you're not quitting your job.
Yeah.
That's that.
That's a, I kind of, I think I solved this question.
That's the part that I didn't understand.
I was like, that's not like, I get, unless that's the point of, I kinda, I think I saw this question. That's the part that I didn't understand. I was like, that's not like,
I get,
unless that's the point of the question being like,
look,
we're not gonna give you a,
cause everybody would do it for a hundred million.
So 10 would be like,
I don't think 10's worth,
but I think 10 million.
I just,
I just looked it up.
It said a snail moves 0.03 miles per hour.
Let's say it can,
it's continuously all day.
Just moving edge.
You could move to Murfreesboro from here,
and you would never see this thing.
It would never make it there.
Yeah.
Could you put salt all around your house as a defense?
Sure, why not?
Why not?
Keep him away.
Oh, it would kill it for sure.
But it says it can't be killed.
Oh, okay.
But you keep the salt, because if it could be killed,
you just take the money and step on it And get out of here
You know what I mean
Yeah
I feel like you could
Hop a ride somewhere though
Well that's true
Oh that's interesting
It climbs on a car
Yeah
You just keep taking chances
And like you're trying to sleep
Well cause it's like
Why don't you just move overseas
And then it's gonna get on a boat
Yeah
And it knows exactly
Where you're at
You would have to probably just
Uh
You
Do you know where it's at?
I guess you don't know.
No.
No, it's a thing.
Imagine how hard your sleep would be then.
You're already jumping and nothing's after you.
Yeah.
There's a snail coming for you.
If you could lay eyes on him and then hop on a plane to another country, then you could
rest for a while.
Yeah.
I just think the constant paranoia is not worth it.
Unless he somehow got on the plane.
You just would get the constant...
I'll play with you.
The paranoia wouldn't be enough.
That's what I mean.
That's why I think the money would need to be more.
I don't think $10 million is.
$10 million is, you're going to.
I mean, dude, the world is expensive.
Yeah.
I think if you make $10 million a year,
I don't know if you could live in New York City right now.
Like, I don't.
If someone's just like, here's $10 million.
Could you?
You could live in New York.
I mean.
Imagine having an office job and knowing that the snail, within that eight hours, could get to you. You'd have to hire security.
Somebody that's jobless to look for them.
I'm saying you think of all this.
Yeah, you would basically just be like, hey, you'd have people walk around and just be like, keep an eye out for this snail.
You would do that.
People would think you were a paranoid schizophrenic all the time.
I just did the math.
So it would take the snail to get to Nashville to Atlanta.
It would take 344 days for the snail to get to Atlanta.
Yeah.
Honestly, I thought it would be.
That's faster than I'd like.
And you basically could.
Yeah.
You just go down Florida for a year.
You see it in Nashville.
You go to Florida for a year and then you're like set a calendar and be like every year you got to move.
Or you just jump
back and forth.
That's assuming
he doesn't hop a ride
somewhere.
Or he just knows
that game
and just waits for you.
I don't want to assume.
In a year
waits for you
to get back to your house
and it's in your bed
the whole time.
Surprise.
Yeah.
So I think we all
say no though, right?
Oh, I would take
this immediately.
Oh, you would?
Yeah. Yeah. you would For sure
I'll spend
Take five million and pay people to watch
Watch outside my house for it
And then I think once you get the money
The snail's on the bottom of the thing
You're dead
Got me
Behind the check
That's fun
I'm going to read this before we go Yeah. Behind the check. Yeah. That's fun.
I'm going to read this before we go.
Okay.
Gooder.
Gooder sunglasses.
I got a pair right here.
These are my cool shades.
All right.
Gooder's a new sponsor on the podcast.
This is a brand. Look, I love these sunglasses and I, I really, I bought these, uh, I bought them.
I forget where, but Gooder, like a lot of their, it's, they started only $25 a pair
and it comes with a one year warranty and 30 day free returns equals a hundred.
I think is the most recognizable state if shown to some, oh, curious do y'all think is the most recognizable state if shown to some...
Oh.
Curious what y'all think is the most recognizable state
if shown to someone just as a shape
with no other context.
I think...
Go ahead.
I think Texas.
That's what I was about to say.
I was going to say that Texas or Florida.
Oh, do...
I would say Tennessee.
But that's just because...
Well, it's very recognizable for sure.
I think across the country, I think.
Oh, that everybody do.
Texas, California.
Alaska.
Florida.
Alaska.
Hawaii too.
Yeah.
You know, Hawaii.
Hawaii would confuse you.
You'd be like, what is that?
Hey, I could see it being confused by Hawaii.
But Alaska would be easy just because it's always at that bottom in the middle of nowhere.
And you would just be like,
yeah, it's Alaska. They can only put
it in bottom of corners.
Did you know that?
Even if it was just one, even if it was one
thing, they would have to
write, Alaska, blank piece of paper.
They're going to have you look at it
and they have to still do
Alaska right there
and to go and you go alaska and they go and the rest of them they can draw in the middle
uh i think vermont and new hampshire they're just each other flipped vertically tennessee we got a
unique we got a unique shape yeah we'd be top 10 for sure. Yeah, I could see Texas.
Texas and-
You don't think so?
To me, Idaho is very unique too.
Oh, I think we're top 10 completely.
No, you're not going to know Idaho.
Not when you see it alone.
Oh, I think so.
No, you can see it out.
That's why I mean Tennessee.
With the flat bottom.
Idaho kind of looks like Florida though, in a way.
What if they flipped it upside down?
You might be like, oh, is that Florida?
Those dinosaur arms.
It's just a bird.
I think it's Texas.
I think Texas is the clear number one, but if we're building
a top five,
I would do Texas, Florida,
Louisiana,
very distinct.
Louisiana, for sure.
It's literally an L.
Tennessee's up there, I think, for sure. Tennessee is up there. Yeah. You know?
Tennessee's up there I think for sure.
Yeah, I think we're
easily top 10.
But
I bet we are the most
recognizable
in the middle
of the country state.
Man, I don't know.
No ocean.
No top.
No we're talking about
of landlocked states.
Landlocked states.
Yeah.
Oklahoma.
Michigan is the hand.
A lot of people really recognize that.
But Oklahoma, you just know it above Texas.
You saw it alone.
You saw it on the street.
You know, because it looks like a panhandle.
I mean, it looks like a panhandle.
I know, but I'm saying if it just popped up around a corner,
you'd be like, what are you doing?
Who is that?
I never thought of that as a meat cleaver,
but it sure does look like that.
That would confuse you alone, though's what i mean the the the skinny part you only recognize really on top of texas and if you saw it alone you would be startled and
yeah i could see someone handle it pretty pretty well. I think someone would be like, Alaska.
And you're like, what?
And you go, I'm so, what is it?
Oklahoma.
Like, they're not going to know.
Tennessee, we're pretty, you know, we're pointy.
Similar to North Carolina on this particular map.
Not really.
Tennessee?
Yeah, North Carolina's got a little funnier.
Not dressy.
We're not from Tennessee, so we're not as biased as y'all are.
See, to me, Alabama's very recognizable.
Yeah, it's got the two little legs there at the bottom.
Maybe the least recognizable.
What are you talking about?
I think the people are the most recognizable, but I think the state.
We got our two little things hanging out there.
I can eyeball an Alabama from two blocks away.
I bet that boy's from Alabama.
What was this leading into?
Today we're going to talk about another state.
A state that we have not mentioned once.
Well, I was looking at it on that map.
I wouldn't put it in the top 25 for sure.
Illinois, which I so bad want to say Illinois, but it's Illinois.
Remember Ron Zook?
Remember that?
What about him?
When he took the job as head coach at University of Illinois from Florida.
And then the press conference, he said,
I'm so excited to be here at the University of Illinois.
I mean, that was day one.
I mean, it just didn't work out.
Yeah, it didn't last long, I don't think. I mean, it just didn't work out. Yeah, it didn't last long,
I don't think.
I mean,
he got it,
the opening press conference,
he got it wrong.
Yeah.
That's,
I wonder if that just does
set you off wrong.
It's hard to come back
from that,
man.
I know,
but if you won,
like,
yeah,
like,
so,
if you're Nick Saban
and you mispronounce
Illinois,
but you're Nick Saban,
I think it's a sign of, A, it's probably something that doesn't get recognized
if you're Nick Saban just because you go in.
I bet if you ask Nick Saban, he's like, oh, I mispronounced Tuscaloosa.
I said, he said it wrong in this thing.
And people yelled at me.
No one ever knows that because all we talk about is him winning.
And then Ron Zook gets fired, and you're like,
that's all that's talked about because that's how he started
because it was bad.
So it's highlighted.
Well, look at Brian Kelly.
I mean, he got off to a terrible start at LSU.
Ended up having a decent season, though.
Yeah.
Yeah, he really did.
Yeah, it was a tough start where he faked that accent.
Oh, that's crazy. I think he just got down in there and he got into it oh dude he's
from boston but my wife is my wife's canadian and she talks pretty southern now i mean well
like you're you just kick in louisiana is a i yeah i could i could you could talk me into that
yeah because if you went to boston you could start saying, I'm in Boston. You just like.
This is like the second day of him being in Louisiana.
I'm here with my family.
And you're like, dude, that's insane.
Yeah.
Come on, Brian.
What are you doing?
Well, you're biased because he left Notre Dame for us.
That's true.
Yeah.
That's true.
Well, Illinois.
All right.
He didn't come to Notre Dame on day two.
He was like, okay, lads.
We're here at the University of Notre Dame.
How many layovers would you take for a flight to Illinois?
That's a good question.
That's a good question.
Because I'll be there.
Chicago Zanies, June 18th.
I had a Southwest flight.
It's about an hour and 15 minutes.
So one.
I would say one.
One.
45 minutes in, I'd like to stop.
Then ride it out.
Maybe you will muscle it because it's only an hour and 15.
Yeah.
I have to.
I don't like it.
You'll find it in Midway.
Yeah.
That's like the easiest flight in the world.
Yeah.
Midway's airport's completely changed.
It has?
When I flew, when I moved to chicago in 2003 midway was
a tiny tiny tiny airport and it's just a lot bigger now it's not it's not o'hare but i always
flew to midway because it was southwest and uh and it was always just like i mean it was the
tiniest airport and now it's that's airport. Do you know what Illinois' slogan is?
The show
mistake.
The home of
Lincoln.
Birthplace of
Lincoln.
That's Missouri.
It's close.
Hey, it borders
Illinois.
The slogan is
borders darn near
half of
Illinois.
Make some
Illinois.
It's something to
do with Lincoln.
Is it the
birthplace of
Lincoln?
The land of
Lincoln.
The land of Lincoln. The land of Lincoln.
Land of Lincoln.
What does that mean?
He was born there?
But isn't he born in Kentucky?
He's born in Kentucky.
He's born in Kentucky.
He lived there for 31 years.
So he spent most of his life there in Springfield.
He's buried in Springfield.
Is he a senator?
He's an Illinois senator, right?
He's buried in Springfield, Illinois?
Yeah.
So I can go see where...
You can.
His home's there.
I can go see where Abraham Lincoln is.
Is Abraham Lincoln using him there? Hey! So I can go see where you can. His home is there. I can go see where Abraham Lincoln is. So Lincoln is using him there.
Hey.
Yep.
All right.
That's fun.
There's three presidents
who were elected
while living in Illinois.
Lincoln.
Can you name the other two?
Barack Obama.
While they were living
in Roosevelt.
No.
I felt like it.
I just guessed on his name.
Did that feel?
It felt good with his name.
George Washington. Ulysses S. Grant. Oh, almost. I just guessed on his name. It felt good with his name. George Washington.
Ulysses S. Grant.
Oh, almost.
None of them born there, though.
Lincoln was born in Kentucky.
Grant was born in Ohio.
He was born in Kenya.
Reagan.
Ronald Reagan was born in Illinois.
Yeah.
I saw his childhood house Oh yeah?
I drove by there recently
Where is that in Illinois?
I was just there
I don't know, but Springfield, the Lincoln Presidential Library
Is the largest and most attended presidential library in the country
And that's in Springfield?
Oh man
You got a lot to do when you're there
I got a lot to do, we're there I got a lot to do We're there two nights so
Dixon, Illinois
There it is
Does someone live there?
I don't think so
I think it's like a museum now
Mm-hmm
But why was I here?
I was here recently
Pick up your baseball glove?
No
I don't know So Chicago's the third largest city I was here recently. Pick up your baseball glove? No.
So Chicago's the third largest city in the U.S.
In 1839, Nuevo, Illinois, was the same size as Chicago.
It now has less than 2,000 people.
Wow. It was the same size because Joseph Smith lived there and the Mormons, that's where they were getting started there.
But then Joseph Smith was killed while in jail there in Illinois.
And then they all took off for Utah and get out of town.
So, and I'll be, oh, this is after Wise Guys.
Nevermind.
Let's move on.
Just threw that in for my Wise Guys plug.
You had a great time in Wise Guys.
I did.
I did.
I sold out every show.
Standing ovations.
They were teasing you about that
first pitch, though. That was embarrassing.
That was embarrassing.
First skyscraper was in
Chicago. The home
insurance building in 1885.
Wow. And the
Sears Tower was the tallest building in the world
from 1973 to 1998. I remember that. I remember the Sears Tower was the tallest building in the world from 1973 to 1998.
I remember that.
I remember the Sears Tower.
It was the tallest in the United States for a long time.
After 9-11, right?
It became the tallest.
Yeah.
Until one of the new, until the Freedom Tower, I think.
Yeah.
We just went up to the John Hancock Building.
John Hancock Building?
Where's that?
It's in Chicago.
I always,
when I would go to Chicago,
I'd get those two mixed up
because they both have the towers.
They're both very tall.
It's still,
maybe not now,
they were both two
of the tallest buildings
in the United States.
Yeah,
John Hancock building,
I believe,
is where Chris Farley lived
and he died.
Yeah.
Oh,
it's like a residential.
It's got just apartments in here.
They have a cheesecake factory
at the bottom.
Uh-huh.
I was about to say that too. Oh, now I know where this is. It's on a residential. It's got just apartments in here. They have a cheesecake factory at the bottom. I was about to say that too.
Oh, now I know where this is.
It's on Michigan Avenue.
It's on Michigan Avenue.
And yeah, so it's near where I work.
So I would always go walk.
Like when I worked, when I moved to Chicago,
Jake Melnick's over at the tables there.
It's like you could walk over there.
So like we had a break or something.
I'd sometimes walk over there just cause it was just so,
I couldn't believe I was like in a city like that.
You're just like,
this is crazy.
And you just go look and walk around.
There's just so many people.
And,
uh,
and so the John Hancock building,
cause you can go do a thing where like a tour at the top,
but you can also go up there and have a,
they,
they have a bar restaurant at the top. And so another one people do is like, they just go take an elevator and go up there and have a they they have a bar restaurant at the top and
so another one people do is like they just go take an elevator and go up there and you have a drink
and you can see the top of it or there's a restaurant too and then uh and then you can
ride back down i mean you're in the elevator i mean it's i hate that feeling when you're in a
big building and elevators going up and you're like, we're still just ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And you're like, golly, I'm up here.
I'm scared of heights.
Yeah.
But Travis did not do well.
He had to go sit away from the window
and just turn his back to it.
The Willis Tower now has like a sky bridge.
Yeah.
You can stand on that.
And I did that one time.
I could not get my legs to move.
Like I could not get them to,
my brain was saying, go on out there, but I couldn't get my legs to move. I could not get them to... My brain was saying,
going out there,
but I couldn't get my legs to... Where?
What is that?
That's the Sears Tower.
The Sears Tower.
It's not called the Willis Tower.
Yeah.
Sears went bankrupt, right?
They don't get to keep the tower.
I guess.
Sears went bankrupt?
There's a couple of Sears left, I think.
I just found that out.
Sears?
Yeah, I just found that out just now.
The thing about it,
they used to be everywhere. I know. It's a good story Sears left, I think. I just found that out. Sears? Yeah, I just found that out just now. The thing about it, they used to be everywhere.
I know.
It's a good story.
Get clothes and tools.
Yeah, leaf blower and some jeans.
It had its heyday.
I think they just-
Their catalog.
It's kind of like if you don't become great at one thing,
you're just kind of fine at everything.
Yeah, that's true.
It's going to end up not working out.
Right.
And you're like, well, we got, you know, Cheek Take Factory's kind of, they got everything. Yeah, yeah. It's going to end up not working out. Right. And you're like,
well, we got, you know,
Cheesecake Factory's kind of,
they got everything.
Yeah, even though
they advertise themselves
as a Cheesecake Factory,
they're like,
actually, we do
all the meals.
Cheesecake's only
one fraction of what we do.
Yeah.
It's not even,
yeah.
It's half a page
on a 50-page menu.
It wouldn't even work
if they make their money.
Mm-hmm.
It's, uh... Yeah, it's like, by the time you eat menu. Wouldn't even worry if they make their money. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
It's.
Yeah.
It's like by the time you eat, you're not even going to have room for cheesecake.
That's what someone said.
Like we were doing this.
Someone asked us that one.
Like if you go to a restaurant, you could go to the rest of your life.
Like Cheesecake Factory is almost the exact answer.
Because it's so broad.
And there's so many options.
It's Asian, Mexican, Italian.
Which goes against what you said as far as a restaurant usually.
The menu's too big.
All I know is every show, like what's the guy's name that you're friends with now?
Robert Irvine?
Every time these guys go into a restaurant,
they always say you need to shorten this menu.
I don't know if we're friends, but I wish we were.
We do.
Tweet at each other.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's fun.
Yeah.
Gordon Ramsay, Kitchen Nightmares
He goes
Yeah
Tighten this menu up
Yeah
You're trying to do too much
Yeah yeah
I think for a restaurant
To undo it
But I mean a chain restaurant
Is
Okay
You know
Like if you could only
Go to one restaurant
Forever
For the rest of your life
That's probably the one
Let's see
Maybe
I'd maybe go Panera
Or something like that you wouldn't
though no panera i can't do it i mean you get so burnt out you gotta think cheesecake there's no
drive-thru with the cheesesteak factory i'm talking about just convenience so every day if i
have to go every day i'd go go through a drive-thru with a panera it's got breakfast food. I'm going to get out of my car. I don't want to get out of my car.
The door is one of those that spins around.
It can't even fit in that door that good.
You're going by just a drive-thru.
I'm trying to think about it in its totality.
I'm trying to think about the reality of doing this every day.
I don't think it could be Panera Bread, though, for me. I'm trying to think about it in its totality. I'm trying to think about the reality of doing this every day. You know?
I don't think it could be Panera Bread, though, for me.
Panera Bread because it's got breakfast,
and then it's got healthy options for dinner and lunch.
That's true.
It's got some soups in there.
You've got soups.
You've got salads.
You've got sandwiches.
You've got coffee.
It's got flatbreads if you want to splurge a little bit.
It's got some cookies.
It's got a pretty wide array of...
You're crazy.
But I don't even
go there now
and I have a lot
of options,
you know what I mean?
So it's like,
if it was my only one,
I don't know if I'd...
I don't know what
I want it to be.
It's your only...
Like, you...
You're only...
If you eat,
you have to eat
from this menu.
I don't think it will be
Cheesecake Factory,
though, for me, either.
Waffle House.
I know Waffle House.
I love Waffle House,
but I couldn't do it
every day.
Yeah.
I could do it
four days a week.
Cheesecake Factory has sandwiches, has burgers, has Asian.
I mean, they have everything.
Okay.
Panera is almost all that, too.
They don't have any of that stuff.
They have Asian salads, 100%.
They have Asian dishes and salads.
I got to call in my order and then go pick it up?
That's insane.
Does price matter?
Or is it just funded by the government?
Okay.
If it's funded by the government, I'm going fine dining.
I'm going every day, though.
Yeah.
I don't think you're thinking.
I'm going steakhouse.
The reality is.
Well, I know.
I don't.
Canary.
Canary even have a job?
I didn't know
they had a drive
a lot of them do
some of them don't
but most of them do
you're buckling
your horse down
can I go to any
so you can go to
any cheesecake factory
in the country
yeah
and I can go to any
there's way more Paneras
first of all
so your options are
I don't think I thought
of it like this
like that
because I don't think
of like
having to stand up
is a problem.
But availability.
Not enough that I would change.
I can only get one meal for the rest of my life.
I'll take four things if it means I don't have to stand up.
No, you're talking about four things.
Look at this menu, dude.
They got some bagels in there, too, though.
They got bagels.
They have breakfast stuff, too. They got some bagels in there, too, though. They got bagels. They got breakfast.
They have breakfast
stuff, too. They don't have breakfast. They open
at lunch. They have breakfast.
They can do stuff.
I mean, look, they can throw something together in the kitchen.
What's your restaurant, Brian?
Well.
Open at 1130.
I was going to say Chick-fil-A because
the Lord's Day, we need to take a day off. I can't eat on Sundays-fil-A because, you know, the Lord's Day.
We need to take a day off.
I can't eat on Sundays. I couldn't do it every day, though.
Oh, are we saying this is the only place?
This is the only place you can eat for the rest of your life.
That's what I mean.
That's why Cheesecake Factory is there's so many options.
You will be.
That's your best case.
I just thought.
Because you're only eating.
You're only.
Those options of Cheesecake Factory.
Like they have everything. They have everything. They have
sushi. They have anything
that you... So if you get tired of one thing, you just go,
I'll get this thing. You can literally go, what do you want tonight?
Mexican, Asian, hamburger,
pizza, sushi.
But are their options good, though?
Is everything good? Yeah. Everything's pretty good.
Everything's pretty good. None of it's very healthy.
But that's okay.
Western says you can find the right stuff. You can get a buffet. They have it's very healthy, but that's okay. Western Sizzling. You can find the rest of it.
Western Sizzling would be good.
You can get a buffet.
They have an under 600 calorie menu.
There you go.
I'm looking at the small plates and snacks.
You can get some.
Yeah, I'm going Western Sizzling.
I know there's not a lot of options.
You got a bunker down in the town where you get steak, you get chicken, you get a buffet,
you got salad, you got ice cream.
But you're missing out on the macaroni and cheese bacon bacon burger from Cheesecake Factory.
At least you have the option, dude.
You have the option.
Yeah, or the truffle honey chicken.
You're making your decision as a guy that only eats macaroni cheeseburgers.
That's not true.
You can't eat breakfast here.
I think
Flat bread pizza
This is going to be great for you for about three years
Let me tell you something
Four years from now you're going to be like
God I just love some breakfast
Keep going
I think they have
What is it
I think they have like chicken and waffles
Or something somewhere
You know what I skip breakfast a lot And I would be fine just skipping breakfast I think they have chicken and waffles or something somewhere.
You know what? I skip breakfast a lot.
That would be fine, just skipping breakfast.
Man, I just wish I had some eggs and some bacon, maybe a little toast.
I know, but you're going to want
something like that.
He'd run through Panera's menu
in 10 seconds.
10 seconds?
Look at that.
Probably a week, I'd do some repeats. That at that. Probably a week.
Yeah, I'd do some repeats.
And that's okay.
I don't mind eating the same thing.
I know.
But this one, I'm saying I would probably do a lot of the same.
But I have.
You can completely change it up.
Korean fried chicken.
Try it.
Oh, some cauliflower tacos.
What's it go up?
So that's specialties.
That's specialties.
Let's go up to burgers.
You got an impossible burger. It's special. Let's go to burgers.
You got an impossible burger.
It's pretty nice.
I love truck stop.
I never really love that would mess me up.
Keep going.
Yeah, that's the avocado toast as a breakfast.
Take a shower.
Okay.
That's fair.
That's fair breakfast.
You got avocado toast.
Crispy crab. Dynamite shrimp. I do love boom boom shrimp right there. That's fair. You got avocado toast. Crispy crab. I like avocado toast.
Dynamite shrimp.
I do love boom, boom shrimp right there.
Oh, man.
Boom, boom shrimp's great.
Yeah.
That'll light you up, though.
This is only a fraction of the menu, too.
This is just what somebody uploaded.
Appetizers.
This isn't even the whole menu.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I'm just saying.
Look, I'd never deny there are lots of options at Cheesecake.
I think they have breakfast.
If they had breakfast, would you do it?
To me, I don't want to have to.
Yeah.
Can you Google that?
I'd think about it.
But I don't want to have to sit down in the Cheesecake Factory for every meal the rest of my life.
Good to go.
Okay.
But you have to go into the restaurant.
You just call and head.
I mean, you're going to have to talk to a human being.
If it's the only restaurant I'll have. Talk to a human being. If it's the only restaurant left.
Talk to a human being in the drive-thru.
And I'm sure they end up doing like an internet online service.
Curbside.
And then if the government's funding it, I'm sure they build a drive-in.
Then they do a drive-thru and all that stuff.
And the menu would get smaller if the government was funding it.
Yeah.
The menu would get smaller.
It would get more expensive.
The food would get worse.
Eventually, you would want just Panera Bread.
MREs.
The first McDonald's
in Illinois.
First McDonald's franchise.
That's where it opened?
The very end of it.
Is it still up?
No.
The first franchise.
Yeah, they started
in California,
but then when Ray Crott,
what's his name?
Yeah.
Took over, then he opened one in Des Plaines.
Des Plaines?
I wonder if that one's there.
1955.
That one's not there?
I don't think so.
I think they tore it down.
I think one of the oldest ones is still there.
Why would you do that?
I don't think they realized at the time what they had.
They just, I mean, probably tore it down 15 years later.
Ray Kroc didn't strike me
as a guy that really cared
about tradition too much.
Yeah.
I've seen the movie Founder.
Yeah.
Good movie.
Great movie.
Oh, Michael Keaton.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nate called me on the way
home from that movie.
He said,
I don't see what was
so wrong with him.
He was just getting stuff done.
Well,
from a business standpoint, he is getting it done. Yeah. I didn't have a big problem with him either. I didn't like him. He was just getting stuff done. Well, from a business standpoint,
he is getting it done.
I didn't have a big problem with him either.
I didn't like him.
Michael Keaton's hard not to like him.
Because he bought the real estate?
He kind of cheated the brothers out of...
Oh, big time.
Well, you gotta
step up.
They should have been a bit more savvy, but he didn't take advantage.
I'd be pretty mad if I were them
or their family.
Because
what was it?
It was
because he
he wanted to franchise
and
they didn't want to I think
and he just had a lot
of innovative ideas
and I think
I mean he didn't
he kind of tricked them
although I think he
He tricked them at the end
with the one thing
they were supposed to get
some kind of royalty
and he goes
that's just going to have
to be a handshake deal
and then he didn't live up to it.
Yeah.
I have no problem with a guy being,
uh,
doing like that.
It's,
but he should be a good person.
I wouldn't,
I would never,
I'd make sure the people got whatever,
like,
you know,
but you,
I could see if they are like,
well,
we deserve more.
Like you're not working.
I'll do whatever,
but you're not,
if you're not putting in the time
but i would never i would never take advantage of someone four illinois's last 10 governors
have gone to prison wow it's a very corrupt government blagojevich that's the last i remember
the three before i don't remember them but they've been on a run lately.
Wow.
What are they going to jail for?
Corruption?
Yeah, but like, I don't know.
Fraud.
Yeah.
Stuff that I don't even still understand, even after I read it.
Blagojevich was on like Dancing with the Stars or something.
Oh, that guy's in jail?
Blago.
He was.
I think he's out now.
I think Trump pardoned him.
Why did he go to jail?
I just read this last night. I think he's out now. I think Trump pardoned him. Why did he go to jail? I just read this last night.
I don't even remember.
It wasn't like something.
Wire fraud, bribery, extortion, and making false statements.
Wow.
Served eight years in prison.
Wow.
What does it mean, commuted?
They ended it.
Oh.
Didn't Trump pardon him?
Oh, I can't remember. I thought it was like he commuted to prison to work yeah donald trump pardoned him
um are you commuted it's 14 year sentence does that mean it's wiping away this like yeah you
can leave but the conviction i'm not going to overturn the conviction. So you're still a convicted felon, but you can get out of prison.
Yeah.
The small town of Casey, Illinois has a dozen attractions that are all certified by Guinness Book of World Records as the largest object in the world.
A rocking chair, mailbox, golf ball, a golf tee and driver.
Wow.
Xbox, golf ball, or golf tee and driver.
Wow.
And people come in from all over the country to see these things.
In Casey, Illinois.
That's the golf tee right there.
And you can go see it?
Mm-hmm.
I think most of them are just out on the street.
Are we near it?
I don't know.
I'll look it up.
Where is it?
Yeah. I don't know where Casey'll look it up. Where is it? Yeah.
I don't know where Casey is in relation to Springfield.
World's largest ketchup bottle.
Also in Illinois.
Not at Casey.
No.
It's in Collinsville.
Why would they?
I wonder if that's annoying.
They couldn't get it.
You're two hours from the world's largest golf tee.
Where's the world's largest ketchup? Collinsee. Where's the World's Largest Ketchup?
Collinsville.
I might be able to type.
Oh, it's called Katsup.
I doubt I'll go. Isn't that annoying?
Hour and 15 minutes.
I wouldn't go.
Because it's spelled Katsup.
Katsup.
Why is it?
Who spells it?
I didn't even know what it was.
I was like, what's Katsup?
Then I Googled it and it said it's Katsup.
Why do people spell it Katsup?
I don't know.
That's probably what it was called before and someone changed it.
Like in England?
Yeah, I would think so.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's from the early 1800s.
Probably it was a mispronunciation.
Well, I feel like you're being annoying if you're still calling it that.
Like now, if you go catsup, you're just like, all right.
Yeah.
Well, that's what it originally was called.
You're like, I know, but we just yeah let's not get hung up so i disagree with this entry in
wikipedia it says ketchup is the dominant term in american english and canadian english
although cats up is commonly used in some southern u.s states and mexico yeah i've never seen anybody
in the south spell it cats up no not a Not a single person. Because they just throw stuff on us.
Not a single person.
Because they say we're dumb.
If something's dumb, they go, I'll tell you who does it.
Yes.
The South.
Yeah.
Alabama, Tennessee.
They'd be doing the cats up down there.
They're probably talking about a different South.
I mean, if it's-
Southern US states.
I know, but-
Talking about like Arizona and Mexico.
Yeah, they might be, or Texas or something.
I think they'd say Southwest if that was the case.
It might be.
Maybe, I don't know what Louisiana does.
I think it's right that they're just trying to throw dumb things on the South.
Well, it's just somebody entered a Wikipedia tree.
Yeah, I don't know.
Nobody calling it cats out here.
I've never met a person in my life.
We don't like it.
The world's tallest man lived in Alton, Illinois.
He was 8'11".
Wow.
You can go to his grave site
and they left it
where you can see
how much longer his casket is
than everyone else's.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I think I've seen a picture of him.
Like, he's standing outside of...
Yeah, we've talked about it,
I think, on the War Records episode.
Do a few looking dudes with glasses.
Oh, come on, Aaron.
Aaron?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Why would you say that?
A devilishly handsome young man.
You know, you could just say it's a guy.
Remember Robert Wadlow?
Could you imagine you use that description to describe the tallest man on earth?
He's going to run at me with them bad knees.
I know.
But you just go, who is he?
He goes, this goofy dude.
And then you go to him, you go, why didn't you say he's the tallest person I've ever seen?
Like, goofy just, no one would ever call him that because he's just the tallest.
You would never get past that.
He's got a bit of a pocket protector type look.
His glasses are probably broken.
He's trying to get some bands done.
You sound like a guy that's eight foot nine and you don't believe that he got the record.
And you go, are you kidding me? What's he look like? He's kind'9", and you don't believe that he got the record. And you go, are you kidding me?
What does he look like?
He's kind of goofy looking.
I don't know.
If we've already established he's tall,
how else am I going to describe what's going on above the neck?
But you never make it to that.
You only do the tall.
No one ever made – if you're 8'11", you know, if you go, he's tall,
and they go, give me something else, you go, he's tall.
And that's all you need to know because it's that tall.
I actually think there's more going on to his personality and his identity than his height, Nate.
I actually think people are well-rounded.
People can have multiple traits.
You called him goofy, though.
You just reduced him down to his height.
You're insulting him.
I think he'd appreciate me just saying tall.
You think he wants
Andrew to be goofy?
And you called him
his dumb, bad knees.
He's tall.
When was that picture taken?
Scroll to the bottom.
I just saw a number.
I thought I saw it.
Oh, that's his father.
Wow.
Yeah, this is from
before 1937.
Oh, 393. Yeah, I think his father worries about the fidelity's his father. Wow. Yeah, this is from before 1937. No, 393.
I think his father worries about the fidelity of his wife.
He died at 22.
Died at 22.
That's crazy.
I think he was still growing when he died.
Yeah.
So he just had something and just never stopped growing?
Look, I called him Goofy, but he was also known as the Alton Giant and the Giant of Illinois.
Well, he was back in the 20s, so.
Okay.
I mean, did he grow up?
How tall was he when he was like a kid?
Like, did he, his height charted?
He was always super tall.
Yeah, I mean, like.
At 10 years old, he was, by the time of his high school graduation,
he was eight foot four.
Yeah.
But I mean, so he was taller than his father by the age of eight.
Elementary school, a special desk was made for him.
And this guy's growing.
Other nicknames.
I bet he got called goofy a lot when he was in school.
The gentle giant.
Yeah, but then like tomorrow, he's bigger than you.
Yeah.
He's growing that fast.
You're like, oh, you're goofy.
And then tomorrow, he's two feet taller.
You're like, how fast are you growing? I growing i guess he just shoved your face down he wore a size 36 shoe 37 wow
which is pretty big had leg braces little feeling in his legs and feet i think he was probably in
constant pain oh yeah and you called him goofy.
This poor guy. I mean, the truth hurts.
You know what I mean?
So did his legs.
He said he had great physical strength
until the last few days of his life.
He was dangerous.
I bet he was.
The last thing he would have done would have hit you.
He could have dunked a basketball just flat-footed.
Yeah.
I think he'd be too... it couldn't be underneath the rail uh well he's 11 he's a foot he's a foot like i mean i think he would be like he would his elbow would
be bent so he was four foot 11 at three years old wow oh yeah there we go four foot yeah four foot 11 at three years old wow he was five three
okay so when did he four he so at six keep going yeah that's crazy uh so when he was taller than
he was tall at i'm 5 11 so he was eight he was six foot and weighed 170 pounds which i weigh
175 right now i'm still losing weight eight years
old eight years old harper's 10 i love that you threw it still look at harper's what i love that
you threw and still losing weight still losing weight uh go to 10 uh harper's harper's 10 years
old he was six five harper's about to be 11 he He was 6'11". She's not close to 6'5".
I mean, he was growing 6 inches a year.
Yeah, 10 to 11 was a big year for him.
He grew 6 inches.
Is that his biggest year?
Gained 31 pounds.
That's probably when they go, I think we're on to something.
And then, I mean, you imagine...
I think when he's a 6-foot-tall 3-year-old, they're like, oh, this kid's going to be special.
Can you imagine a five-foot-four three-year-old?
I mean, that's like a movie where you have just a baby walking at you.
And then you got to hold him.
And you got to change his diaper.
And it's like an adult diaper.
Probably very strong.
How about that?
At age 13, he became the world's tallest boy scout.
He was seven-foot-four. It took tallest Boy Scout. He was 7'4".
It took him that long?
Yeah, I guess there were some tall Boy Scouts back in the day.
He was at 9 years old.
He was strong enough to carry his...
He weighed 180 pounds at 9.
Go back.
All right.
I don't know if that's special.
Dude.
He carried his father up the stairs to the second floor at age nine.
At 10 years old, he weighed 211.
10 years old, 211 pounds.
Harper might weigh 30 or, I don't know, 60, I guess,
probably something like that.
It's quite a leap.
I don't know.
30, 100, who knows?
I mean, at 16, he weighed 374 yeah pretty big i mean 83 at 17 so keep going like because he died at 22 i mean that's so brutal
at death he's 11 so he was just going to keep going 439 pounds but he you know what? So between 21 and 22, he only gained 3.1 inches in height,
but he actually lost 52 pounds.
Well, that was.
That was probably due to his illness.
That was the first time he probably fell down.
He's like, I feel good.
And then can you imagine meters?
Like, do people say meters?
How tall are you?
2.7 meters.
Well, no, he was American, right?
I know, but I'm saying, is that how they would say it over there?
Are they go inches?
No.
They might actually say feet.
Yeah, does anybody go, they go, how tall are you?
2.5 meters.
God, you big boy.
And they got, how tall are you?
0.04 meters.
British people usually use feet and inches.
That's interesting.
To describe your height.
Even though they don't use it for anything.
Yeah.
Well, good for them.
I like that.
Sorry to kill the bit with the truth.
No, that's interesting.
The Cozy Dog drive-in in Springfield
claims to have been the first to serve corn dogs on a stick.
Wow.
They invented the Cozy Dog.
How did they invent that?
What did they decide to do?
What was going on?
Hot dog, fry it.
How are you going to hold it?
Put a stick in it.
Like corn on the cob, I'm sure.
So they put it in corn meal.
That's how someone told me that it was invented.
So you put it in corn meal, the hot how someone told me that it was invented. So you put the hot dog in cornmeal and then fry it.
I think a few places claim they invented the corn dog, but they're one of them.
I'll tell you what.
I love the corn dog.
You got to go.
Yeah, I love a corn dog.
You know what I'd do with it?
I'd use my fingers.
Oh, your liquid fingers?
Is that from this episode?
Yeah, I think so.
Ketchup, mustard.
I do ketchup mayonnaise is what you do, corn dog.
And you put them together.
Kind of swirl it a little bit.
You swirl them together and then you dip it in that.
Put a little motor oil on there.
A little motor oil.
And then you eat the corn dog as you're filling oil in your car.
And if your stick breaks,
caulking gun.
Yeah.
Maybe one finger should just be
corn dog sticks. Yeah.
Popsicle sticks.
You just shoot them out.
It's ready to go.
Liquid wood
hardens.
You're like Wolverine, hardens. Yeah. Yeah.
You're like Wolverine, but popsicle sticks.
Can you remember a 3D printer?
Is that liquid?
I imagine at some point it has to be.
Yeah, it's liquid and then it hardens.
For sure.
You have a 3D printer on your finger?
You might make that the main thing.
Yeah.
I'd still go with the oil.
That's everything. That's got to be your finger. I mean, you might make that the main thing. Yeah. I'd still go with the oil. That's everything.
That's gotta be your,
your pointer.
I mean,
that's,
I mean,
you make sunglasses.
You just draw stuff out.
You would just make sunglasses.
It'd be so hard though.
It'd be,
it takes so long.
Yeah.
You just do them quick.
You'd get good at it.
You go,
they go,
take them out.
I don't need silverware.
You go,
it's kind of a
sporkish
but you
know
it works
you know
um
springfield
has a
signature
dish
the horseshoe
sandwich
oh
doesn't
sound good
it's an
open-faced
sandwich
um
it has
consists of
thick slice
toasted bread,
often Texas toast, hamburger patty, French fries, and cheese sauce.
It's a hamburger opened up with fries on top.
Oh, yeah.
I pictured it being a sandwich that you walk in the middle of it
and then you just eat around it.
Yeah, at least shaped like a horseshoe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, this is a hamburger they forgot to close. Yeah, at least shaped like a horseshoe. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, this is a
hamburger they forgot to close.
Yeah, that looks great, though.
Yeah, it's good.
A bit of a stretch
to call it something. I mean, it's just a
burger you didn't close.
That's the kind of food I like, though, man.
Yeah.
They have good sauce?
Was the sauce on it yeah i think so
yeah you can uh common ingredients include egg stale beer that's interesting butter sharp cheddar
cheese worcestershire sauce flour dry mustard paprika worcestershire is probably the hardest
word that i think everybody can say worcestershire I don't even know if that's right the way I did it.
Yeah, Worcestershire.
Worcestershire?
Worcestershire.
But I think it's the craziest spelling and the weirdest word that most people can.
Like, if your last name was Worcestershire, you'd be like, okay.
But if you met, like, Ben Worcestershire and you saw it spelled, you'd be like, I can't say that.
And you're like, no, it's Worcestershire.
You go, oh, yeah.
I'd love to meet the guy, though, just to get the correct pronunciation.
Worcestershire.
Worcestershire.
Worcestershire.
Worcestershire.
That's a British accent.
Worcestershire.
Worcestershire.
I don't trust that guy.
But I mean, it seems like it's a name that's so crazy.
But it's one that I think everybody kind of knows it.
We all just kind of came together.
Christine Dunbar from Speech Modific in American English.
The first way, which I think is easiest, is to say Worcestershire.
Worcestershire.
Worcestershire.
The next way is the same, but with er in the middle.
Worcestershire. Worcestershire. Worcestershire. Worcestershire. The next way is the same, but with er in the middle. Worcestershire.
Worcestershire.
Worcestershire.
That way has sheer instead of sure in the final syllable.
Worcestershire.
Worcestershire.
So that doesn't help.
No, that was three new ways I've never heard before.
But that last way is the hardest.
You're like, I don't know if it's the hardest.
I don't know if she knows what easy and hard means.
She's like, this one's.
She goes, Breeze, Worcestershire.
Worcestershire.
She didn't say shire at all, right?
Worcestershire.
She's Worcestershire easy.
Don't even think about it.
I'm going to get a little tough.
All right.
You ready for this?
Yeah.
Worcestershire. You go, well, ma'am, I'm not. about it and get a little tough all right you ready for this yeah worst to sheer
you go well ma'am i'm not i'm not trying to i'm not a scientist i mean i can't i'm not doing
altruism and what you tell us a little bit about game time uh no all right but we're so sorry we are so busy let me tell you something
there's a lot you can say about me busy i'm one i'm busy and there's a you know buying tickets
can be sometimes i buy tickets last minute it's very time consuming and it's very complicated
i use game time they have great deals on last minute tickets it includes their best price
guarantee it's the fast and easy way to buy tickets for all the sports, music, comedy, and theater near you.
We like the Game Time app because they make it so easy to see the seat views right there in the app.
You know, you're buying tickets.
You're going to be sitting in that seat.
McDonald's fries will be on up there.
They stopped making them in 2012.
What?
Oh, and then they resumed the next year.
This is just like those –
You're talking about these bands.
Yeah.
They had a farewell tour.
Nah, we're coming back.
Everybody goes, no, we won't.
And they go, oh, we'll come back, dude.
It's a little interesting how it was invented.
So this Continental Baking Company made strawberry shortcake,
but strawberries were only in season part of the year,
so they had to stop.
And then the guy said,
well,
we got all this,
uh,
you know,
the stuff from strawberry shortcakes,
let's do something else.
Let's put banana cream in these,
uh,
and call them Twinkies.
And they did that.
So for a while they were served with banana cream fillings.
And then,
uh,
during world war two bananas were rationed.
So they ran out.
So they just had to switch to vanilla cream.
And after that, it just took off.
I think I would like banana cream.
I'd give it a try.
Yeah, I don't know if I like vanilla cream.
I don't.
I think I wouldn't mind a strawberry shortcake right now.
I don't like strawberries.
You know, I know that's a good fruit.
I like it, but I'm not a I can eat them, but I'm not.
You don't like it as a flavor. Not really. I like it, but I'm not a, I can eat them, but I'm not a.
You don't like it as a flavor.
Not really.
I like it better than a cherry as a flavor.
Oh, cherries are the best. I love cherries.
I don't like cherries.
Good.
A cherry is good, but a cherry flavor is cough syrup.
Cherry flavor.
That's all it ever becomes.
I love cherry flavor.
I love cherry flavor, but I don't like cherries.
Interesting.
Cherries are delicious.
I'm growing strawberries at my house right now.
Yeah.
How are they? Good. Delicious. at my house right now. Yeah. How are they?
Good?
Delicious.
That's cool, man.
Yeah.
You got a whole garden
going over there.
Yeah, I got some stuff happening.
Yeah.
I told Laura we should do
a garden in the back.
By we, I mean her.
She did not want to do it.
Yeah.
Well, that's what it ends up being
when you travel all the time.
Time consuming, right?
I'm asking my wife to water the garden all the time.
Is it hard?
It's not hard.
I think it's great.
I love it.
I mean, I'm not a full-on farmer,
but I got a few plants.
But you're out there every day looking at it?
I love looking at it.
I mean, that's my favorite thing.
Yeah.
How long does it take to grow a strawberry?
Well, I planted these plants last year
and they grew strawberries last year.
But this year, I mean, it's just popping.
I mean, this thing, I'm picking them every morning, giving them to my daughter for breakfast.
It's about two months.
Okay.
Average ripening time, three months.
Sorry.
I can't tell you those real answers.
I'm just telling you what I, you know, they start coming.
Can you plant pineapple? You can plant pineapple. I bet not around here. Yeah, it wouldn't grow with it. No, I bet not going to tell you those real answers. I'm just telling you what I, you know, they start coming. Can you plant pineapple?
You can plant pineapple.
I bet not around here.
Yeah, it wouldn't grow with it.
No, I bet not.
Well, just because.
It's cold too long here.
Oh, interesting.
And it gets cold, like too cold.
Like there's certain plants that you can grow.
Does pineapple come from a tree?
Yeah, I think so.
It's a plant, according to my sources.
Her. Oh, yeah. Okay. it's a plant according to my sources her oh yeah
okay
it's a plant
yeah you can grow
oh yeah
I don't know
it'll be tough
yeah I don't think so
maybe South Tennessee
yeah
maybe around Pulaski
we're like in
climate zone 7
which is the same
as New Jersey.
There's different climate zones.
Yeah.
Okay.
We're different from New Jersey.
In the climate growing zone though.
It's like a seven,
seven.
Yeah.
I mean,
it's,
I think it's bizarre,
but I think it is about the same.
What is,
so what does that mean?
Climate zone?
What's like,
it has a,
um,
something to do with how,
like this is in a farmer's almanac.
No, I just looked this up on the internet.
You just keep an eye on this.
I bet it.
Yeah, but it's like where-
Are we supposed to be looking this up or is this one of your things?
You know what I mean?
No, no.
Is it climate zone?
It's real.
Okay.
I don't know if like-
Yeah, you said that.
I don't want to be just accidentally going down some path that he's got us on.
We're showing kids and you're like, no, I don't want to be just accidentally going down some path that he's got us on. We're showing kids and you're like, no, I don't
know. He goes, this is where the demons are.
You go, all right, dude.
I thought it was a farmer's almanac
thing. I thought we were doing something for the kids.
Is that Davidson County right there, Brian?
No, it's Wilson County. So that's Davidson?
Yeah.
Now, but this is not the right.
This is climate. This is not the,
this is climate.
This is not farming.
Okay.
This is just climate stuff.
Not,
but you can see how this is New Jersey's in the same.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it's the same principle,
but these are like three a and stuff,
but like where there's like,
uh,
Alabama would be like six and then we would be like seven.
So we're a little bit lower.
That's why Nashville is such a,
cause we are, so we're a little bit lower. That's why Nashville is such a, because we are,
so we're like so close to the red.
Yeah.
And there's certain things that,
like the ground gets too cold.
So certain things die.
Oh, this right here.
Yeah.
Oh, we're thick in the.
Yeah.
Thick in the yellow right there.
Because we're up high elevation too.
Maybe Knoxville could do it.
This is all based on your average annual low and temperature.
Last year was pretty cold.
A lot of stuff died for people last year.
We got stuff that died.
Really cold around Christmas time.
Yeah.
But McMinnville is really popping.
I mean, in McMinnville, almost all my fruit trees survived. That little red dot there. And I didn't... Probably McMinnville is really popping. I mean, in McMinnville, all my, almost all my fruit trees survived.
That little red dot there.
And I didn't,
probably McMinnville.
And I didn't water them at all last year.
I mean,
yeah.
So.
You should probably do that.
Well,
I'm not out there,
you know what I mean?
Okay.
Yeah.
You let the rain do it.
Yeah,
I'm letting the rain do it.
There you go.
Mm-hmm.
The,
yeah.
Working smart,
not hard.
Right,
exactly.
You know what I mean?
The Donner Party They started in Springfield
On their journey
And how did that go?
Didn't go well
A couple layovers
But you
Yeah
Weren't you out
Is that Abe Lange?
Doing shows out west where they stopped
Now you can go where they started
I can go where they started
Yeah
Follow their footsteps
Have you guys ever heard the term
That was in Springfield
That's where they started
Yeah Springfield is
There's a lot going on
There's a lot going on
More than you thought
Yeah
Yeah
Have you guys ever heard the term
Will it play in Peoria
Uh
Maybe
Maybe
Is this something to do with
Richard Pryor
I feel like I have heard it.
Wayne's World?
No, I skipped the movies that
set in Illinois, but those
two. Will it play in Peoria?
I haven't heard this. It's an American figure of speech
that's traditionally used to ask whether a given
product, person, promotional theme
or event will appeal to mainstream
U.S. audiences.
I like that. They're basically saying Peoria is like every man.
And Peoria is a prototypical American city.
It represents a wide demographic.
I did stand up once there.
It did not go well.
Jukebox Comedy Club?
Was it?
Is that where Peoria is?
That's Peoria.
All right.
It went all right there.
Yeah.
As a result, it's traditionally been one of the country's leading test markets.
In the 80s and 90s, comedians like Sam Kinison would go there to test out material.
Bob Dylan, Robert Plant Metallica, Phil Collins all worked on their albums there.
And presidential campaigns and TV networks go to Peoria to test out stuff.
It's like middle America.
I didn't know that.
stuff it's like middle america wow i didn't know that i did comedy at the jukebox there in peoria and about uh 12 people came and uh it was good and then a building caught on fire next to it
and after the show me and all the audience went out there and watched this building
yeah there's a lot of fun it's middle america all right yeah more fun than the show i think
people are like this is now this is what we came for.
It's snowing a little bit.
We couldn't tell if it was ashes coming or snow.
I mean, it was fun.
Yeah.
I'll do a couple more.
John Deere started and is headquartered in Moline, Illinois.
You know, growing up, I always thought Illinois was just Chicago.
I just thought everything in Illinois was a giant city.
Me too.
And then I went up and started doing shows, and I drove through a lot of corn.
Yeah.
A lot of windmills.
Yeah.
The Great Chicago Fire.
You guys heard of the Great Chicago Fire?
Yeah.
Lasted for three days, killed about 300 people.
Wow.
Destroyed over 17,000 structures,
and left 100,000 residents homeless.
Oh, jeez.
You guys know how it started?
Oh, I feel like I could almost know.
I feel like I've heard something crazy.
It was a lantern or I don't know.
What was it?
Old paper mill.
Well, I thought you guys would know the tradition.
I was going to stump you guys.
Traditionally,
it's a cow knocked over a lantern
in a barn.
Yeah.
That sounds like a lie.
I never heard that.
That's what
they've traditionally said,
but now they're saying
that's probably not true.
They know it started
in this barn
at this people's home.
The woman who owned the house,
she always claimed she would not be
out there in the middle of the night milking a cow and um now they think it's either some people
were gambling in the barn and one of them knocked over a lantern while they were gambling and caught
it on fire um there was a couple other theories one of them they were trying to steal some milk
from the barn and then knocked over a ladder, they were trying to steal some milk from the barn
and then knocked over a lantern
while they were leaving.
Or,
a meteor shower.
Meteorite.
Caused the fire.
I almost think I would
go back to the cow thing.
That makes like,
they took a lantern out there
because they heard something
and then they,
are they,
you know,
they had it out there
and they left it out there
and then the cow knocked it over.
But where does that,
how does that get, that was in Chicago?
It was in Chicago in 1871.
So there was like – and it just breached Chicago?
How do you not just put it out?
How do you not put it – yeah.
I don't know.
I think it was very dry, they said, incredibly dry, and it just spread.
It like jumped the Chicago River.
It went from like either the north side to the south side or south side to north side.
That might have been before they knew how to stop a fire yeah well definitely yeah it was probably i mean that's
when they take buckets and just pass it to different people and throw it on it i mean how do
you not stop it at the farm that's what i'm saying think of that great chicago fire to be honest
could be blamed on the city too yeah we have fires all the time now that spread. So why are y'all blaming on something from 1871?
Because how does
it jump a river?
Well, wildfires
every year here
jump.
Yeah, but those
are burning down
the woods.
Yeah.
They're burning
down homes in
Hollywood.
This is the whole
city was used
primarily wood
structured buildings
at that time.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
They weren't using
a lot of brick
and steel and stuff like that.
And I guess a cow and a barn was very close to the city.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Things were different back then.
Probably then.
Watch your cows, people.
Watch your cows.
This is 1871.
But I mean, 100,000 people are homeless.
How many people lived there?
A million in Chicago?
Not in 1871.
I wouldn't think.
It destroyed 17,000 buildings.
It killed 300, 100,000 homeless.
17,000 buildings.
That's the whole city.
Structures, yeah.
The whole city needs to go ahead and get a jug of water.
Yeah.
And...
I mean, really, let's come after this thing.
Y'all are coming at a different angle than I thought.
Well, a guy from that era might would come at it from a different angle.
Yeah, yeah.
I feel sorry for this woman.
They said she spent the rest of her life in the public eye with sadness and regret.
She died heartbroken.
This was in 1871.
Because they blamed her on it.
Yeah.
That's the Chicago media.
Yeah, exactly.
And in 1997.
So they did to Bartman.
That's what I'm saying.
She was exonerated. They said Bartman did it. When? Oh, yeah. And in 1997, they did to Bartman. That's what I say. She was exonerated.
They said Bartman did it.
When?
Oh, yeah.
I was joking about it.
1997 is when the city council
exonerated her from any
wrongdoing.
I mean, they don't let stuff go.
Yeah.
I mean, it took you 120 years.
I think if I were her, I would
have moved.
I would have took my cow and got
out of town.
About 300,000 people in the city.
So a third of the city became homeless.
Yeah, but I mean, that's 1870.
I'm going to go ahead and say there was a government conspiracy here.
Might have been.
Something, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it just seems crazy.
Because then how does it go from 1870 to that fire to then
10 years later you grow by 200 000 people well they said when the city rebuilt and then it was
much better it became much more metropolis that's what seems like conspiracy go ahead and burn some
stuff down get some people out of there and then you and then the new wind was still made was like
then it's like well we got all these wood buildings.
And they go, look, they just burned the whole thing down.
I don't know if I believe it now.
Yeah, they blame this poor woman just trying to milk the cow.
1813, yeah.
I mean, it's been around for a while, but they weren't using it to build skyscrapers and stuff.
All right, so is there a conspiracy with the chicago fire i bet there is
i'm sure there is too just the cause i'm sure the great chicago fire theory this is a book
oh i was hoping it was a movie i was like i'll watch that yeah i ain't reading no book book
i'll never get the look at this obsessed twisted maniac targets the city of Chicago for destruction in retribution
for the burning of Atlanta ten years earlier
during the Civil War.
How about that?
How about that?
This is fiction, buddy. Historical fiction.
Go back.
There has to be.
Yeah, just click that Reddit.
Just see.
We might not be showing this. Yeah. Just click that Reddit. Just see this. Uh, well, yeah,
don't,
we might not be showing this.
Yeah.
I don't know if this is,
uh,
yeah,
I mean,
I,
I,
I could see conspiracy theory about the cause of the Chicago fire was a
meteor shower.
So that they think that's a conspiracy theory.
It doesn't.
I mean,
back then they would have believed in that.
You could have said a witch or something.
That's, you would say that now.
Over a meteor shower.
That's for sure.
Yeah.
I mean, I think there was a
meteor shower going on at that time.
So they think maybe one of them...
Why did they not... Now I believe it's the
meteor shower.
Before you gave me all the information, they go, well, there was a pretty active meteor shower going on.
But we're still going with the cow and the lamp there.
But there are meteor showers all the time.
They don't usually make it to Earth.
That's like when they burn up the atmosphere.
But they don't even know what that is back then, the meteor shower?
I think so.
I don't know.
There you go.
Does anybody know, right, Dusty?
Exactly. Just some stuff Dusty? Exactly.
Just some stuff moving around.
Exactly.
I guess that's a good place to stop.
Chicago Fire, always a hot spot.
All right, one more then.
John Hughes movies. They're all usually set in a suburb of Chicago called Northbrook.
This is another reason why I thought everyone in Chicago and in Illinois would be rich because every John Hughes movie, everybody lives in a big, huge, giant house.
Yeah.
Uncle Buck, Home Alone.
I don't know.
That's all.
I'm sorry, not Northbrook, Shermer, Illinois.
It's a fictional town.
He grew up in Northbrook.
The high school was Shermer High School.
Because it doesn't really matter that he's
in Chicago. It's not like it's a...
It's like he goes to...
Ferris Bueller's the one where they go into Chicago.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uncle Buck's living
in Chicago and goes to the suburbs to
his family. Home Alone.
He did Home Alone, right? Yeah.
That's cool.
The Breakfast Club. Pretty in Pink. Yeah yeah i don't know if pretty in pink
was set there i don't know breakfast john hughes movies now yeah all right yeah all right all right
we did it uh we love you we love you and uh yeah whenever this comes out i always remember that. I'm going to.
Springfield.
Springfield.
Oh, this is the.
While I would have done Dayton, we got Tuesday.
I think Tuesday's Dayton.
Then I go Springfield two days.
Wednesday, Thursday.
I think.
And then maybe back to Dayton.
I do something like that.
So, yeah, we're being Springfield, Dayton.
And then there's some other cities too that weekend somewhere.
Bowling Green, I know.
Bowling Green, Kentucky.
Because the same night, June 4th, I'll be at Louisville Comedy Club.
So if you're halfway between Bowling Green and Louisville,
please come to my show.
Yeah.
And June 18th, I'll be in Illinois at Zany's Comedy Club in Chicago.
All right. I got nothing. I at Zany's Comedy Club in Chicago. All right.
I got nothing.
I'm off, too.
Oh, not working.
Yeah, I'm having a baby.
Slacking off.
Slacking off.
I'll be helping with the baby.
You have other work?
Yeah, I got stuff going.
I got stuff.
I'm opening for people.
Oh, so you're working.
Yeah, I'm working.
Come on.
I'm not working.
I actually am.
I'm not raising a family. Yeah. Maternity leave? Yeah. Yeah. I'm not working. I actually am. I'm not raising a family.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maternity leave.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Paternity, I think.
Yeah.
Is it paternity when it's a paternity?
Yeah.
Fraternity.
It's fraternity.
Okay.
You'll take paternity leave from this podcast.
I don't know.
I'll be around.
Yeah.
No, I'll still be popping in here.
Even if she delivers that day, Dusty will be here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I want to see my baby be born yeah
that's my goal
oh yeah
where are you doing that
like a
trunk of a car
well if it were my call
it would be in our bathtub
but my wife wants to do it
in a hospital
ugh
you know these women
I know
I know
you can't take them anywhere
it's all about her
yeah
I know
go down to McWinville.
Do it down there.
I'd love to.
I'd love to.
Right next to these pineapple trees.
I bet you'd grow some pineapple then.
Yeah.
All right.
We love you.
See you next week.
Bye.
Bye.
nateland is produced by nateland productions and by me nate bargetzi and my wife laura on the audio boom platform recording and editing for the show is done by genovations media
thanks for tuning in be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land podcast.