The Nateland Podcast - 174: #174 Pets

Episode Date: November 15, 2023

This week, Nate gives us the lowdown on the CMA Awards, Dusty shares his obsession with leaves, and the guys once again debate their undercover athletic ability. Then they delve into this week's topic of Pets by sharing unusual pets they've owned, pets that had unhappy endings, and pondering whether people will someday marry their dog. Vuori - Vuori.com/Nate Vuori is an investment in your happiness. For our listeners they are offering 20% off your first purchase and enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at vuori.com/NATE.  Lectric eBike - LectriceBikes.com Get hundreds of dollars in free accessories with any Lectric eBike purchase this holiday, including America’s best-selling eBike, the XP 3.0. Visit LECTRICEBIKES.COM to find the Lectric model for you.  Helix Sleep - HelixSleep.com/Nate Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners in honor of Black Friday! Go to HelixSleep.com/NATE and use code HELIXPARTNER25. This is their best offer yet and it won’t last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. Grand Canyon University - gcu.edu Find your purpose at Grand Canyon University. Private. Christian. Affordable. 

hello folks and hey bear welcome to the nate land podcast i'm neighbor gets you brown baits and wherever dusty slate all right all right uh We're back. It's the kid's birthday. Oh, yeah. Happy birthday. Thanks, man. You are the kid of this. I know. Isn't that wild?

I'm 32. I'm not a kid by any metric anymore. Kind of wore off. Did you get that starter jacket for your birthday? I did. My wife got me this. All right. Yeah.

Big coat. Not quite the weather for it yet, but it does feel, it's very comfortable. Yeah. Yeah, it is. It is comfortable. It hides a lot. I'd imagine that's what, I mean, I would like it for that reason, just because you're. I'm less vulnerable in it.

Yeah. Yeah, you do. I like, I like being zipped up. Always have been. And I see like, that's very, you know, just big. You don't know what's going on there. You know. When I was growing up, a starter jacket was a cool cover for not having cool clothes every day. see like that's very you know just big you don't know what's going on there you know when i was

growing up a starter jacket was a cool cover for not having cool clothes every day like the starter jacket itself was cool so you didn't have to have cool clothes you just wear the starter jacket all day could have been shirtless underneath it could have been who knows yeah you put a lot of stuff in this pocket oh yeah all kinds of put some in there. You got snacks in there right now? No. A little pouch. He's got loose Oreo cookies in there. I mean, I look at those old videos when we started it. You would have filled that starter jacket, but right now you look good.

Hey, thanks. Yeah. I appreciate it, man. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be a good year, dude. It's going to be a good year. 30, 33rd year.

Oh, that's like. That's what Jesus said. It's almost the end of the year. Yeah. No, of me. This is, so you're 33 now, I was like, yeah. No. Yeah. Of me. This is, so you're 33 now? I'm 32.

So this is my 33rd year. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Is that how y'all do your birthdays in the Weber house? Get real technical with it. Yeah. Real tech. It's like say a 19th century for 1800.

Yeah. Yeah. Same kind of thing. Yeah. Your dad's birthday was yesterday yeah and i realized that he and i are closer than aaron and i oh really yeah yeah yeah yeah think about you think a lot about that stuff yeah uh well it gets brought up pretty quick on this podcast so just thought i'd go ahead and get ahead of it uh yeah my dad's 68 i saw y'all brought a cake out for his birthday in vegas yeah it was fun we had

uh uh i mean we have uh we have a whole video of other stuff i guess we're sure but i mean it was the whole thing was like all right we're gonna bring the cake out i'm gonna uh you know i won't bring everybody back on stage for an encore or Or just not an encore, but just come out and everybody wave. And we told everybody. We didn't tell Nick because Nick's pretty tough to keep things under the wraps. He's starting to know towards the end. And then it looks like you go, well, what's going on? Because he won't say. And he's like, well, what's going on? Because he won't say.

And he's like, well, my dad's like asking him stuff. And we had to tell him because, you know, we kept it from him until the last point we could. And then he's like eating. And then, you know, and he's just looking at my dad like, hmm. And so then I'm on stage and I'm like, all right, I'm going to do it. And so I finish up and then I say, all right, hey, we're going to bring everybody out. So everybody come on back out. Nobody's coming out.

Nobody. This has been planned for two days. Yeah. Nobody's coming out. And then I was like, well, where is everybody? You know, everybody's standing up clapping. The show's over. He's feeling comfortable.

And then finally I see Nick, and I go, oh, Nick's coming out. I was like, all right, everybody take your time. Just a live show, nothing to worry about. And then, you know, then my Joe and my dad, I mean, they were all backstage as if the show ended three hours ago. No urgency at all. No urgency at all. Nick was eating a big steak.

I think, and then Travis gave all like, you know, they got a 10 minute warning being like, hey, we're close. Yeah. So be ready. And just, I mean, they all, and then, so then, and then Travis brought the cake out as a surprise. And then all the crowd was saying happy birthday. So it was very cool.

That's very cool. Yeah. As they didn't do something nice, we sang happy birthday. It was very cool. It was very cool. Yeah. You do something nice, you're up there frustrated. What are we doing? Come on, everybody. I'm just going to stay in there. It was super cool. Super cool.

Yeah, we had a good Vegas. It was good. Vegas was a fun time. Before that, you presented the CMAs. I did. Yeah, the CMAs I did Yeah the CMAs were You know very fun I followed Tanya Tucker

Yeah I lost a bet Because of that Oh really Brian and I were watching At the Zany's Green Room We were betting on When you would go up Yeah I won 20 bucks

Off of that Oh really Brian was like I think Nate's coming right up After the commercial break And I was like nah I mean it was a very This guy's got Maybe you have a gambling problem or just a lot of money to throw around. Cause it was very, I was just.

Well, obviously, look at his jacket. That was, you know, I never could, I never, my parent, we could never afford a Starter jacket. I got the other. That's my first ever one too. Yeah. I got, cause it's probably looked down on when the Weber fan, you know. Well. It's like, that's what the poor kids wore.

I had two and I grew up in a trailer park. That's where people's priorities are at when you live in a trailer park. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the difference. Yeah. Yeah. You're like what kept us out of the trailer park is we at least chose milk over Star Jacket. You didn't have dinner that night. I had two. I had two. I was like, yeah, Miami Dolphins and Auburn, Auburn. I was like, it was a big time. Yeah. I had whatever. I had two. I was like, yeah. Miami Dolphins and Auburn. Auburn. I was like, it was big time. Yeah.

I had whatever the other. There was another one that was not a starter jacket. I had a lot of. Stopper? Huh? Stopper? Stop jacket. Yeah.

It was. I forget. I forget, too. I was trying to think. You know what I'm talking about, though? Yeah. I had some Jordans, too, from Dollar General. Dollar General made a pair of Jordan shoes that looked like real.

They looked like Jordan shoes, but they were Dollar General. DGs. Yeah. That's worse, though. They were Michael Jordan's brothers. You go, well, they said he's the best one. At my school, if you got caught wearing the fake Jordans, people were ruthless to you, dude.

Yeah, it's worse to have the fake. A kid showed up. It was the Jordan Jumpman, but you could see shoelaces on the Jordan logo. And, dude, they tore this kid apart for that. That was in Montgomery. That's nice. What do you mean? Was that in Montgomery?

It's nice that y'all did that. Yeah, that's cool. I wouldn't do it. I didn't have Jordans. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to be doing that down in Montgomery. You don't want no fake Jordans in Montgomery all day.

But I don't have a gambling problem, Brian. I won the bet. It's only a problem when you lose, right? Yeah. We were sitting in the green room watching the CMAs waiting for you. And I just casually, it's commercial, Brian, I just casually say, I bet Nate's next. And Aaron just jumps on it. He's like, you want to bet?

He said, I think they'll do another musical performance when they come back. Oh, wow. And he's like, you want to bet? And I'm like, okay, sure. And I thought he'd be like, buy me a whatever next time. 20 bucks. Yeah. I'm like, well, he just put me on there.

I wanted to mean something all right yeah who won male vocalist of the year uh it was your category right yeah it was uh okay all right well that makes sense i was gonna say it seems like i don't i mean i have no interaction with him except what you saw on stage oh yeah and it doesn't seem like that's it's the i don't I don't know him personally, but it's, I mean, there's, he never, I don't think he didn't look at me, which I thought was crazy. You know, you're like, I would think you would just look someone.

I mean, I put my hand out, and thankfully he even shook it. I didn't. And now I would just not even, like, if I gave him an award, I would just stand back and just be like let him like that dude is i became a fan that night yeah good for you buddy yeah well chris dabbling's his music's awesome obviously we like it but we were talking about what a nashville moment it would be if jelly roll had won and then yeah you hand the you know jelly roll would have would have given you a hug probably oh for sure uh yeah i mean i honestly was hoping it would be jelly roll uh it would have been yeah it would have been a very special kind of thing it's i you know i i really he's a wonderful person man

it's like uh jelly rolls a really wonderful person he's one of them that you're like, yeah, he's rough around the edges and all this stuff. But it's that guy has worked very hard and, you know, he gave that great speech. And it's all very relatable just in the fact that, yeah, it takes a long time. And, you know, you got to just be around. And, you know, I relate to it. Just be around. And, you know, I relate to it. And, you know, it's not like, because you see people that are famous and you're like, they're 26 years old.

Yeah. And they're millionaires. Uh-huh. And it's just, and it's, you're like, they haven't even, and they're not complaining about it. Because that's what you hope happens. But it's, the appreciation is much, that's why he hope happens but it's it's the appreciation is much that's why he's so appreciative and why it feels authentic is because it's truly appreciation he was in jail at 26 yeah yeah i mean he's lived it looks like it's two different people's lives yeah it doesn't you you would say that's not even the same person that's you go well that's

those people probably don't even know each other and you're like no it's the same guy yeah he's uh a a wonderful wonderful person and was very happy you know you see that new artist and it was it was super cool it was cool to watch man we watched most of that award show after brian show at zany's was the same night during during the award show dusty was on it too well i'm happy to see that Joe Diffie wasn't around to see what they did to his songs that night. Yeah. I met his son. I mean, that tribute. Gosh, that was bad.

What are you talking about? It was so bad. Joe Diffie's so great. And what they did to his songs. What'd they do? Just sang it. They just sang them. Who was it singing?

Jimmy Buffett. It was. No, it was. I'm joking. They just sang him. Who was the singer? Jimmy Buffett. It was, now it was, I don't know. Post Malone? Morgan Whalen. Wall Out Wall. Post Malone and Hardy.

And I was like, this is, this is sad for me because Joe Diffie was really great. Yeah. It was a sad moment for me. At least Post Malone

is not a country singer. So I didn't feel so bad. He seems pretty jacked. Yeah. Post Malone? Yeah. He's in good shape now. Yeah, he's very nice too. He seems like the man. Every clip I see of him. Is he the one that was

working out before you guys? At that place where y'all did a show? Yeah. And the guy said, whatever. So that's why he's jacked. He's working out. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he's gotten in great shape. I get told I look like him a lot in the face. Not the good shape part of it.

I guess the tattoos. I can see it. TikTok, I get comments all the time. Fat Malone. All that kind of stuff. Stuff like that. I like it now. Yeah.

He's got a song on country radio right now dusty you don't like that is it pick up man the joe diffy song no i don't it joe diffy was really great and i just didn't i didn't care at least with post malone it's like he's not a country star right so it's like when he sings it and it's not joe diffy it's not's okay. But the other guys are country singers. I don't understand the logic of that at all. What? Why is it better because he's not a country singer? Well, he's like a non-country singer attempting a country song.

It's like there's no reason for Post Malone to know who Joe Diffie is, but the other two guys should know who Joe Diffie is. And they did. They did a tribute to him. Yeah, I know. It just wasn't good. Yeah. That's the point. That's what he's saying. Yeah. Okay. And it should be better because Diffie is. And they did. They did a tribute to him. Yeah, I know. It just wasn't good. Yeah. That's the point.

That's what he's saying. Yeah. Okay. And it should be better because they're country singers. And a lot of people think that was you up there instead of Hardy.

Yeah. I would have done a better job. Hardy sat right behind me. Yeah. I did not talk to him at all. Yeah, he's not very friendly. Is he? I don't think so.

He's different than I thought he was. I think I was, he's different than I thought he was going to be. Yeah. I really, like he was, I mean, I didn't say a word to him,

so he might be the nicest, but it's, but just being near him, it was, I was a little like, oh, it's kind of not what I thought he would. They're young.

I mean, he's a young guy. These guys get so famous. that's true. I mean, and then they get, they get just, you know, and you have, it's a young guy these guys get so famous well that's true i mean and then they get they get just uh you know you and you have it's a balance if you got then you got chris stapleton who i think is a very like he doesn't like to be around people or talk to you know seems that way

i mean when he gave that speech oh no yeah it's crazy but when he gave that speech at the end you're like i couldn't even hear him oh really so really? So, I mean, because he's like this down. He's like going on and on. And then it's just a moment that you want to go to him and go, like, just don't talk. Maybe that's why he didn't look at you. Maybe he's just used to being out there playing music and, like, just standing up accepting a war. used to being out there playing music and like just standing up accepting a war maybe go be like uh you know have a little marshawn lynch kind of attitude of just go like thank you i really appreciate like because i'm just here so i don't get fined yeah i think it means a lot to him yeah

but it's uh yeah but i mean yeah i don't know i mean he's just turned i mean thankfully i honestly when i put my hand down i was like i shouldn't be doing i mean at that moment because lee corso had already kind of snubbed you a few days earlier at the handshake. I thought, if we get two in the same week, this would be my favorite week ever. Yeah, Stapleton never looked up. He just looked, you know. I always thought you'd meet him and be like, hey, man, nice to meet you. But, I mean, you wouldn't even have a moment.

There's no energy of like, please say hi to me. It's an energy of, I want to go back to where I... I thought Morgan Wallen was in front of us, please say hi to me. It's an energy of I want to go back to where I I thought Morgan Wallen was in front of us too. His dad's coming to my show. His dad drives a truck still. That's cool. It's probably a nice truck.

Oh, a truck driver. He's a truck driver. Okay. What did you think he meant? I was going to say. His dad's so young, he can still drive? Yeah.

Still could be nice. No, it could still be a Yeah. Still could be nice. No, it could still be a nice truck. He drives for Old Dominion. Yeah, I bet it's a nice truck. You know Old Dominion, it's a truck, but not the van. Yeah. And he drives for them, and he still drives like – Wow.

Because he said his – it was funny. I mean, I talked to Morgan just for one second, but then his dad leaned over once, and he's like, you're the comedian because you don't want to beat Morgan's record, right? And I was like, well, I've been playing on that for a long time, or whatever. And then he goes, oh, it's good. He laughed nice.

He's like, yeah, we're nice pastors, a fan or something. I was like, well, I'm coming to Knoxville. Do you want to go? And he was like, is it I'm coming to Knoxville. Do you want to go? And he was like, is it, you know, it's like Monday, Thursday or something. He's like, he goes, I got to work, but weekends I can go. And you're like, what? I'm like, you got to work. And it's, and he's like, yeah, I'm a truck driver.

And he's just still, he still just drives his truck. Like a great dude. I like that guy. Yeah. Yeah. He was very nice. Yeah. He was very nice.

And then, yeah, I don't know. It's a young, you know, it's just different being there when everybody's just pretty young. Yeah. Yeah, I just grew up on 90s country, and I love that country. I mean, that's my favorite. And I don't. Well, they're still around, too. Some of them, yeah. I mean, they're. Yeah, they're still around too. Some of them, yeah.

Even if he died. Yeah, yeah. Alan Jackson performed that night. Alan Jackson. Yeah, he did. The Jimmy Buffett. He did the Jimmy Buffett tribute with Zac Brown. Yeah, I don't ever remember what he looks like.

He's like huge right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's ripped too. Oh, is he? Yeah, yeah. He's like huge right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's ripped too. Oh, is he? Yeah. He's got a good shape. Yeah.

Yeah. I heard he got a new wife. Zach Brown. Somebody yelled that out at my show. Really? What? Zach Brown has a new wife? Yeah.

Why would they yell that? Well, I made a joke. What a heckle. Well, it was off a joke I had. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. So there's a Zach Brown and a Zach Bryan?

Yeah, Zach Brown. I'm talking about Zach Brown. Oh, I'm talking about Zach Brown. We're talking about Zach Brown as well. He kind of looks like sometimes I think I look like that. Yeah. Wait, no, I'm thinking of Zach. You're thinking, yeah, we're thinking different.

You're thinking of Zach Bryan, the young guy? He's the one that's got, I know. He has been, Zach Bryan. Zach Bryan, isn't he the one that everybody's going crazy about? Yeah. Yeah, he sells a ton of tickets right now. Yeah, can you imagine? Think about the people that are listening to this that don't care about country music.

I mean, what world? It's labeled country music. They can fast forward if they want to. It's not labeled. Yeah, we'll label it. You mean like the thumbnail, that little part? Yeah, we'll section it off on YouTube. It is now.

Oh, yeah, they can pass. I guess it has to be now. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, yeah, because it's, yeah, I mean, they're just like, what, who are these names? But it's, yeah, CMAs were, they were super fun. I went out there real quick i had that one little thing and it was after tanya's like i mean this she could stay in ovation

you know people were crying and then you're like you know that comic in you where you're like i gotta follow i had it you have to say something just because it's i mean it's like an emotional kind of thing i mean they're sitting down and i're like, they're like, we got to go now. And so then I'm already being rushed out there. And then you stand, you say it. What did she sing? Delta Dawn. Oh, yeah.

Delta Dawn. Is that good enough for you? That's a great, that's a great song. But I feel like, you know, it's like, that's like the main song that everybody knows Tanya Tucker for. And I just feel like it's such an old song that I wish she had more, you know, more like hits for herself. Yeah. Because that's a huge song.

And I love that song. Yeah. She has like two sparrows and a hurricane. That song, that's a good one. Yeah. And she probably knew Joe Diffie, so she should have had some of that involved in there. She should have been in on

that yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean I don't know did you guys watch that tribute yeah we were watching it I mean it's like yeah god forbid the next generation pay homage to people of the past well I'm glad they're paying homage but I'm just saying you watching it's uh I just well I tried to find your clip online I did not watch the whole thing but I tried to find your clip online. I did not watch the whole thing, but I tried to find your clip. And so I ended up stumbling upon other clips and I thought, oh, here's a Joe Diffie tribute. This will be great. And then I was like, oh, gosh. And then Post Malone came out and I was like, all right, well, this is a little better.

Yeah. Well, I came off stage at Zany's thinking everybody's going up man great great job and everybody was like there's nate because everybody's watching it on the tv just looking to see you this is before you went up just in the audience or there's laura yeah yeah i think they showed us a lot of y'all were on tv a bunch yeah we were sitting in the real thick of it i mean it's you're as a comedian going to their met peyton Manning too. Really? Yeah. That's cool. Super nice. And then, but the, yeah, the, being a comedian in that world, you can feel it at home.

You're just kind of like in a unicorn. Like there's just not, they're just all around each other. And so it, and I imagine it's like anything i mean if an athlete you know as comedians we're just kind of like off the radar of show business even though it's becoming a much more mainstream thing it goes from you know we were just we're not in the mix of it all we're not at the award show you know maybe we're hosting or something but now a lot more people know and so it's i remember i felt that years ago dusty and i did the show with brad paisley at zany's you remember when he showed up to the club it was the first time i felt like oh this is like a different level

of fame yeah that i had not seen from comedians yeah like people outside going crazy remember that oh yeah yeah yeah he told me we're gonna have some cigars together never heard from him i bombed so bad did you meeting him you don't remember that oh meeting him i don't remember dude we were aligned it was me you and greg warren yeah and we're lined up and and brad paisley goes just tell me something about yourself and he meets dusty and dusty goes well you know i do comedy I like to smoke cigars, hang out. And he goes, oh, comedy and cigars. That's great.

We'll smoke a cigar one time. He turns to me and he goes, what about you? I just panic. I just go same. And he goes, comedy and cigars. And I was like, oh, I don't even really smoke cigars. Yeah. You know, I just completely bombed.

Thought about that all night. Yeah. Dang, that's tough. He's like, this guy's boring. Yeah. This guy's got no personality. Hey, ditto, dude. So that's a big thing in the comedy community, huh?

Y'all do comedy and smoke cigars? Then Greg Warren talks about peanut butter, and he's like, oh, gosh, you guys are the worst. I do comedy, sell peanut butter on the side. And they're like, that's a fun group we got here. Yeah. on the side and they're like he's like well that's a fun fun group we got here yeah yeah that was uh yeah that's what i was so yeah well i was at zany's great time at zany's these guys like to say we're on the show dustin nickerson was on the show hot show so it was a hot show so your buddy was on it he went way over his time and he was but he was very funny he was a nice guy and very funny uh roy johnston from news channel five oh yeah uh time, but he was very funny. He was a nice guy and very funny.

Roy Johnston from News Channel 5. Oh, yeah. He came and he was supposed to do three minutes and he did 13. Oh, wow. Of stand-up? Yeah, he's doing crowd work. He was getting into it. You know, he got into it.

I asked him, he said that you never showed him where the light was. Well, that is true because he was so nervous beforehand. I'm like, I'm not going to bargain down with one more thing. He's got three minutes. If he goes five, that's okay. You're thinking worst case scenario. He does two minutes. Yeah. But he's a talker though.

But he's a professional talker. Comfortable in front of people. He is. And it's hard to have a concept of time, especially if you've never done standup. And he was into it. He was having fun. He was going to blow that light if I told him or not. This was a clear case of ask for forgiveness and not permission. He was having fun. He was going to blow that light if I told him or not. This was a clear case

of ask for forgiveness and not permission. He had his own thing planned out. He brought props. He had the whole thing. As he walked on stage, you're like, you're going to do this

in three minutes. Yeah. We should have known. Look at that. His setup for getting into doing the comedy was longer than three minutes. Yeah.

He was reminding everyone. He was like, before I bomb, I just want you to know I've done things. And he was showing awards that he won. And it was good. It was all funny. Yeah, he knew he was never going to do this again. So he was just going to live it up. Has he just been wanting to do it?

Well, he tells dad jokes. That's kind of like his side thing on the news. Every Thursday night, he tells a dad joke, and it's become this popular thing on there. So I invited him to come sell some tickets for me, which he did. I mean, people came, but he really ran with it. Yeah. Well, I mean, he might need to do 13 if people came to see him. Yeah.

Maybe I should have cut my time, which I did. And Aaron did. If someone comes to Channel 5 and they're like man they go that was the on camera all right what got are you about to watch an hour of off camera yeah the producer my thinking was you can tell a dad joke in 15 seconds so right you could tell a lot in three minutes you just expected him to go up there like rodney dangerfield rattling off yeah jokes. I did. Yeah. But he showed me. He did.

But it was a great show. We had a lot of fun. It was fun. We did watch you in the green room afterwards. And then this weekend, I was at Comedy Off-Broadway in Lexington. All right. Great shows. Four great shows.

Great club, huh? It is a great club. Folks came to every show. They brought me gifts. It was just a really fun time. Great club, huh? It is a great club. Folks came to every show. They brought me gifts. It was just a really fun time. Good deal, man. There's a lot of folks there in Lexington. Yeah, they are.

It's a big folk area. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I was not in a big folk area this weekend. I was in Bridgeport, Connecticut. All right. At the Stress Factory there. Had my first full-on fist fight during my show.

All right. While I was on stage with mc no no two people yeah the mc was involved the mc was ended up being the bouncer he had to he had to kick him out but really i was about three minutes into my set and there's full-on fight two tables just went at it was it about one of your jokes no that's that's the funny part is that it's like the least provocative show of all time. You were like, go Irish. And then people just broke out.

What was it? Do you know what they thought about? I found out later. So I couldn't piece it together during the show. I just saw two tables going at it. One table kind of kicked the crap out of the other table. And then the guy that punched them was like, I'm chill. I'm chill.

I'm chill. And in my head, I'm like, you're the least chill person here right now. They all left. And then that table came back, the table that knocked the other dude out. And they were great the rest of the show. So I had no clue what happened. Turns out it was one table wouldn't shut up. And the next table just kept telling them to be quiet.

And they didn't like being told to be quiet. So he squared up. And the other guy ended up being a veteran military dude. So he just knocked the dude out, came back, knocked over a bunch of tables on veterans day on veterans day of all days. So the veterans were the ones that were telling them to be quiet. Yes. The veterans were the, they were in the right and they came back and they were awesome once they left and sorted everything. So not only have they been protecting freedom, the they were in the right and they came back and they were awesome wow once they left and

sorted everything so not only have they been protecting freedom they've also been protecting comedy that's right yeah yeah but i didn't know what had happened at the time they just came back protecting free speech all the way around did you talk to them when they came back like i mean yeah no i didn't want to bring it up because it was like a five to six minute like yeah people forgot there was a show going on on because it was that big of a thing. Did you acknowledge it when it was happening? It felt so serious that I didn't have anything funny or interesting to say about it. I just stood back, full on fight.

The staff's helping out how they can. Yeah, and you're in Bridgeport. You're not sure if you're safe. I know. Well, that's the staff's helping out how they can. Yeah. And you're in Bridgeport. You're not sure if you're safe. I know. Well, that's the thing. It was, it felt fun. It reminded me when there was a fight during your show in Tampa, when I opened for you. Yeah. It very clearly had nothing to do with you. This fight had nothing to do with me. So I was just sitting back watching, you know, so I never felt in, I felt danger when I left the club,

but when I was on stage, I felt completely fine. It's just it. But yeah, it changes the energy. You know, I'm talking about Tums. What do you. And then there's a. What do you. What's the first joke?

Yeah. Yeah. That after the fight. I think I said, well, I got to. I'm still up here, by the way. I said that. And I got a big laugh. And then somebody yells, welcome to Bridgeport.

And I got a huge laugh. Yes. All right. All right. We're going to get back into it. let that guy come up and do some time yeah good night everybody now the crowd was everybody else was cool once that one table left it was like maybe the best show of the weekend which feels crazy to say yeah because there was a fist fight yeah that it was great that's everybody needed. Yeah. That was the early show too. 7.30 PM on Veterans Day.

Man. Yeah, that's a fight is, it's good. It's good that it happened though. I like it because it makes it, that's just part of, like that's the, that's all the stuff you got to go through to just get, you just dealing with the insanity of, that's the stuff that people don't see. And I wouldn't even worry about people don't see, because I don't like that.

Like the, not saying the audience has to see that, but like comics when they start and then they think, the comics that want to do comedy and they don't, they're like, oh, I'll just get up and do it. But you got to go, you got to have those situations. And you're not picking those situations. They just happen. You don't know when it might happen.

Maybe it doesn't happen. Odds are it's probably going to happen. Yeah. And then you're going to be in some situation and then you got to just deal, you got to, you know, stand on stage with a microphone and, and just, I don't know, figure it out. And there's nothing you could say. Like if, if,

if you're like, that's going to happen to this weekend, if someone told you it was going to happen, you, you couldn't even prepare for it. No, there's not. Cause you would think,

well, what would I say? You go, I don't know. That's when your pure comic comes out of you that you're just, cause then you gotta, you gotta get the mood switched back yeah yeah and it took a while but it ended up being being really good everybody

asked me like should you they were like where's the video because i didn't bring my camera that weekend but i was like it would not have been a good video anyway i didn't and it probably would have gotten stolen yeah i mean it would have got knocked over in the fight yeah if it were set up yeah yeah but yeah you i mean yeah the video it's like it is it's like that yeah it's it's it's you you learn more as a comic in that situation you know what felt good i called dustin nickerson after i talked about it and part of it felt good because i feel like sometimes i do these like cushy kind of soft shows i'm doing corporate stuff for like a church gig and you don't feel like you're and they're

like oh i got a fight going on in my show in bridgeport like i'm out here like yeah i'm doing the real the real stuff yeah well it's and you got to really go through that totally and you really do and then because that's the it, that's the whole point of comedy. Comedy is, uh, it's for, there's no preparation for the most, it is the most, that's why I think people, it's starting to become a big thing because everything feels so produced or so made or, you know, written and all this. And it's the, it's the only thing that music, music's you know you can change people i can sound good singing with that lake beach song they can make anybody sound good singing uh sometimes some yeah not the

joe diffie tribute yeah not the dusty standards but yeah not morgan whalen uh yeah it goes uh but uh comedy is like in that moment right there is is is kind of a beautiful thing because it's just uh-huh it's the rawest thing that could ever happen and you got to just figure it out and then get back into a show right right and you it's in the beginning he has three minutes in at 47 minutes left yeah yeah i mean you had a fight breakout at your last tape special taping so it could happen yeah anytime anywhere with aaron i did not know that was up there i did not notice it it was at the okay but you said you felt like you heard something didn't i felt like something felt crazy yeah but it's like we're taping that special yeah but it was the was up in the top corner, but I had to tamper one.

I've had the fire alarm go off back to back weeks. One start. I might've told that story, right? Stardome. Stardome. It goes, it's going off during the show. And I was like, do we need to do anything? And they go, no.

And we just sat there. At the Stardome? Yeah. And the Stardome's burned down before. Oh, well, they were. That's hilarious. Yeah. We just, it's like red lights were just blinking for the rest half of the show i've never done a show at stardome there's not an ambulance or fire truck

there's sometimes in the lobby well you know when it was birmingham comedy club it burned to the ground and then they reopened it to start destroyed all the carrot tops carrot tops active oh wow yeah and then yeah and then that one and the other one was in a parlor in Washington State. I they had a fire alarm and we had to I had probably 20 minutes left and I had to walk down with the crowd outside. And then we all walked back up and then had to get back into the show. And that's, you know, I mean, that's man,, that's, it's, it's, that's the stuff. I don't want to go, you know, I mean, you might have to do it again, but it's the stuff that you're like, I don't want to do again.

Yeah. But it's the stuff that you have to, you really have to do. Cause you just have to figure out how do I get these people back into a mindset to, of enjoyment after just insanity just happened. Yeah it was fun yeah yeah i don't know what the best time would be for it to happen three at least the beginning of the show is at least yeah like you give a little break you got a beginning yeah i was in the green room you can hear the the other comics in the green room over the loudspeaker. And within 10 seconds, the host is like, all right, come on, stop. We got a show.

So you're like, oh, they're going to be a nightmare. So it was a problem off show. It just came to a boiling point three minutes into my show. That's why it's good to have the openers. Totally. Get that out of the way before I get up here. Yeah. Well, a lot of it is, yeah, a lot of you deal with it with the opening.

But you need the head, a lot of it is, yeah, a lot of you deal with it with the opening. But you need it. But the headlining part aspect of it, and that's the thing for, I really, to be a great comic, you have to learn how to deal, to do an hour after that or during it

or no matter where it happens. Right. Because you got to learn to switch. You know, it's just like, yes, it's great. It's fun.

I mean, it's not, you know, you don't want it, but it's, it's when you look back, you're like. It's fun. I mean, it's not, you know, you don't want it, but it's when you look back, you're like, that's the stuff that you're, you know, because it can't be worse than that. Right. The late show.

I said, you guys, it can't be the worst show of the night. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And they were because the other show was the best show. Yeah. Yeah. It blew you away.

They're like, yeah, we'll show you yeah why don't you maybe you ever show you like someone should fight you try to start fights yeah you go what'd you say because they're talking about you man that's too well i was in raleigh north carolina at the improv and uh it was great no fights a lady got kicked out but um she didn't fight anyone it was great she No fights. A lady got kicked out, but she didn't fight anyone. It was great. She yelled about Zac Brown. Wonderful shows.

Well, no, I got a joke I've been doing and someone yelled out in it about Zac Brown. Apparently, Zac Brown apparently has a new wife and something like that. I don't want to give away that joke. Is this during your Joe Diffie chunk? Well, I do have a bit of a Joe Diffie chunk I've been working on, but I didn't do it this weekend. Yeah.

I like Joe Diffie. I think he's great. Yeah. And I just want when people do a tribute, I want it to be really good. Mm-hmm. You know? Mm-hmm. But that was great.

Also, I forgot. I brought them in the car, but my wife dropped me off. But a lady in Des Moines gave us all like a Texas Roadhouse gift card. Oh. And I forgot them, but I'll get them to you after. I like Texas Roadhouse. But I wanted you to know that I think it's Texas. It's a steak place.

Yeah. I think it's Texas Roadhouse. Maybe one of the two. Longhorn's nice. But I wanted you to know that this very nice lady in Des Moines, Iowa, several weeks ago, I didn't want to give them to you when we all weren't here. And then I forgot them last week. I made them to your house this week, but not out of the car.

But she gave them to us. She was very nice. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I did a Zoom show for Texas Roadhouse during COVID. Yeah, you got to joke about it. Yeah. They were having serious budget cuts, I guess.

At the time, I had to crash their Zoom cocktail hour. Bombed pretty bad. Got out of there. You just like, it was like the idea of it was you were going to crash it? They were having like a hangout and have drinks together. We got a special treat. Then nobody knows who I am. That's tough.

You can't crash something if nobody knows who you are. And then you just go into your act. Yeah. Yeah. It your act. Yeah. Yeah. It's tough. Yeah. Oh, they did surprise to the Zoom. Would you rather fight or that?

I'd rather have a fight all day. Yes. Surprise. All the Zoom stuff was weird. I did a corporate and the internet. I was in a hotel in Atlanta. The internet wouldn't work. So I did the Zoom call on my phone.

And the only person I could see was the guy paying me. So for an hour, I'm looking at this guy doing jokes. Is he paying attention and laughing? Yeah, but I don't know if he knew I was the only one he could see, but it is brutal. Yeah, that is brutal. Just one guy into my phone for an hour. I'm like, ah, checked into this hotel. You know, it's like, ah.

Did you show him around? No, no. The Zoom calls were tough. I mean, I figured it out during that time. I figured it out and I got pretty good at it, but it's, they could be brutal. Oh, yeah. Brutal. You had a little leaf raking incident

understand oh i did have a well i've been collecting leaves because you know i've learned that leaves are great uh for nutrition right for your for your uh garden and stuff okay didn't know that was going yeah yeah yeah because all uh you know all spring and summer, your tree produces these leaves. And then in the fall, they drop the leaves, and then they decompose over the winter, and that's how the tree gets its food. So there's tons of nutrients in these leaves. Oh. And so everybody just rakes them up. So I've been going around the neighborhood trying to get people to let me have their leaves.

And if I see them, I don't, I would think if you walked up, I would almost be like, I bet this guy's about to ask me for my leaves. They're not even really surprised by it. They just go, ah, there's a guy at the door. You're like, I think I know what this is about. Well, it's shocking to me how weird people have been about their leaves like i would think everybody wants these leaves out of their yard and so a guy coming along going hey can i take these leaves and you would rake them and yeah but some people i've caught like you know they'll be

raking them and i'll be pulling into the neighborhood and i pull up next to him i go hey if you get those bagged up i'll come take the bags yesterday i got 12 bags from one of my neighbors how many leaves do you where are you doing well i'm gonna i'm gonna put leaves all over a whole area in my backyard to kill all the grass over the way and then and then have it break down i'll create a little bit of a topsoil and then i'm gonna plant some wildflower seeds okay so i'm gonna have these all these wildflowers native wildflowers right but i was raking and then so i asked this one neighbor if I could rake his leaves and he was like, yeah, totally fine. And then the next house down just had just so many

leaves. I was like, clearly, I never seen this guy outside before. I was like, there's no way he cares about the leaves. So I'm just going to rake his leaves. And then he comes outside while I'm raking the leaves. And apparently he did want the leaves. So we had kind of an awkward interaction. My nephew was there with me. My nephew was very uncomfortable. I've been in plenty of situations like this. So it was not that big of a deal. That day. I was like, oh, you want the leaves? All right. No problem. I was like, I'm sorry. I'm out here raking your leaves. I was very apologetic, but I was also a little taken back that the guy wanted the leaves.

But what if someone came and raked your leaves? Well, I want the leaves. Okay. Well, I'm saying though. It's the same thing. It's the same thing. It is. You could have said, I understand because I think we're the same person.

Well, I did say that. I said, I appreciate that you want the leaves. I said, I'm sorry that I assumed you didn't want these leaves. And then I talked to him about how the leaves are nutritious for the grass and for the trees. And then my other neighbor, he lets me have his leaves, but he really likes his lawn. And I was raking leaves out of his lawn yesterday. And he told me I was messing it up, messing up his lawn by pulling out the runners. What's a runner runner it's like you got bermuda grass has these runners that go under and that's how the grass spreads so he helped me you know he had a he had a thing that rakes the like you push it's like a cart yeah and it puts the leaves up in a bag

which i didn't know existed so i'm about to get that yeah like those so i'm pulling up the runners apparently and i didn't realize. You've just been using a rake. Yeah. And how long do you got to collect these leaves? Well, I'm just trying to get all the ones I can. I mean, I'm so into. Because Nate's yard has some leaves.

Yeah. Yeah, we have leaves. My truck's full right now. My wife picked me up because my truck's full because I got a bathtub in there that I bought today. Cause I'm going to do a worm farm. And there's this guy from Australia. It's called the weedy garden. And he's like, he's created,

you know, videos on different things. And one of them is a worm farm and he made it out of a bathtub. So I found one on marketplace. Yeah. And so I got that in the back of the truck. And then you gotta, got to do something. Where is the bathtub going to be?

Well, I'm going to take it out to the cabin. I'm not going to put it at our house in the suburbs. But you got to kind of lift it up. You put a little top over it. You put dirt and different food scraps in there. And then the worms just eat it. This guy looks like he's having a good time. This guy's great.

The Weedy Garden Channel. I mean, it is. I'm surprised you support that with that Buddha statue. Well, I didn't. Honestly, I've never seen that. But this guy gets at some stuff that I don't support. Okay. But.

But you don't really have many places to go for this information. This guy. I would imagine a lot of stuff that you, how you want to live ideology wise, it's like it's going to be tough to find you. You're kind of a one of one. This guy's great though. He's all about living off the land. I don't think he lives off the land, but he's all about

growing stuff and he protects the environment. And I'm into that sort of stuff. I'm not necessarily into the government protecting the environment, but i am about um you know being kind to the earth yeah yeah like a buddhist well like a christian should be yeah yeah that's right yeah i am about being one with nature yeah like buddha you're probably a wonderful neighbor well Well, I'll tell you this.

I saw these two older ladies bagging up leaves yesterday. And I go, hey, if you'll leave those leaves, I'll come pick them up. Oh, that's great. And they were very happy. All right. Because they had 12 giant bags. And they didn't have to set them out by the road and wait for weeks for people to come pick them up. Who usually picks them up?

I guess the city yeah so and now they don't have to have all these trash bags sitting out by their house right right now you got them in your backyard yeah yeah i mean it's gonna be great i'm gonna do a video about it i want you to see my yard now yeah and then next spring yeah me too it's gonna be it's gonna be something i'm. How many subscribers does this guy have? Is it like the real, is it like very, very popular? Yeah, it is very popular. I mean, I found him during COVID, but yeah, you got to see him on YouTube. He's got a Patreon.

He's got 99 followers. You got to find him on YouTube. That's where. Magnificent compost in 21 days. Yeah, he's got 177,000 subscribers. He's doing pretty well. But he used to be a photographer, right? So that's what's so great about his videos is he's like, I'm not saying I'm an expert gardener, but he has all the camera equipment.

So the stuff he films, it's a very interesting videos. Yeah. Was he in New Zealand? I thought he was in Australia., it's a very interesting videos. Yeah. Was he in New Zealand? I thought he was in Australia. Oh, okay. You said that. Yeah.

Well, I couldn't help to notice your new starter jacket, which we've already talked about and you're wearing Viore. Viore. We all love, we all have Viore. It's, it's good.

What's good. Oh, okay. Nothing about my shirt though. No, it's a great shirt. It's a great shirt. I'm going to wear Viore. I'm going to go to Zany's good. Oh, okay. Nothing about my shirt, though. No. It's a great shirt. It's a great shirt. I'm going to wear a Viore.

I'm going to go to Zany's tonight and do new material. Oh, nice. I think I'm going to just wear this outfit. Yeah, because it's great everywhere. Viore is great. Yeah. Yeah, it's comfortable, wide, athletic wear. You can wear anywhere.

It's a new outlook. I'm glad to use this headshot from Instagram. I'm glad the rest of the crew were happy with the results, though. I agree. That seems to be a theme for you. I mean, I don't think I said I didn't like it. I liked it. use this headshot from instagram i'm glad the rest of the crew were happy with the results though i agree that seems to be a theme for you i mean i don't think i said i didn't like it i liked it i mean if anything i think it was dusty it was kind of pointing out maybe he didn't look at much like me as the others but i think it's funny that like what did y'all do go in and he take a painting of you live in person well i think i'd imagine what's hard for you is you have no yeah like a beard

is like you there's you're just yeah yeah uh face i don't deny that you're just you're just a face yeah because you're like you're like what when you play a video game you're the start of before they pick stuff. Create a character. That is so true. That is very true. I agree with that whole procedure. I just think it's funny though. Just your headshot's all I could find.

So it's kind of hard to see what you look like. Just the best picture you send around to represent yourself. The one he paid for. Exactly. Well, thank you justin yeah i like i'm coming it's amazing yeah i'm actually coming around to you a little bit on this painting i really am i i actually like it because it may i think it yeah i could see that i think that's a i think it's a tough you know i honestly really yeah i think i'm coming around

i don't mind it. And yours stands out more than all of ours. Yeah, I think mine's the best. Which is a good thing. I think it's a startlingly accurate depiction of you, Brian. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not, honestly, he did you a favor with the hair.

He did me a lot of favors. Yeah. Thank you, Justin. Craig Metzler. Metzler. You guys were having a nice conversation about why things come in tent. Aaron is making some great points about a decimal system, and Nate yells out, what about peeps? Sounded like a third grade classroom.

Yeah. What about peeps? Yeah. Sounded like a third grade classroom. Yeah. What about peeps? Yeah. Kale Harvath.

Kale Harvath. I wonder how that's tough when kale became popular. The, you know, the vegetable. Or maybe kale's young enough that it was named after kale. Like after it became popular. Kale sounds like a young person. It's harvest season. It does sound like a young person. I'll take some kale.

What name do you want kale? They go, all right, dude. They probably get upset about it. Compliments Horvath. Yeah. He goes, what's your last name? Horvath. Hey, Aaron.

We've lived in Hungary for about three years now, and the eggs come in cartons of 10. All right. At first, I was caught off guard, felt like I felt shortchanged. Then I thought, hey, this actually makes more sense. Everything is base 10 over here. It just makes everything easier, honestly. Oh, you're just living in the wrong country.

That's why they're hungry. You're missing two eggs. I did do some research on this of why a dozen is even a thing. And it's the exact point that Brian made during the argument, which is that 12 has more divisors than 10 does. So it's more

convenient in a lot of ways. And that's what he said. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying it was the point that Brian made. Where'd you look it up? When Brian's statement about it? The guy that's been around before they probably even. You guys should just listen to me more. He remembers when they switched. He was pre-carton.

He used to walk out. Did you ever have a milk delivery guy? A door-to-door milkman? Aaron, you know that's not true. I didn't know that. I don't know when they stopped doing that. When did they stop doing that? I don't know when they stopped doing that but when did they stop doing that I don't know the 50s okay when the refrigerator was invented yeah you probably

would have heard about it yeah uh yeah I bet they did it later than you thought well no we didn't uh yeah but I'm sure in 1963 nearly 29.7% of consumers in the U.S. had milk delivered. But in 1975, just 12 years later, that number dropped to 6.9% of total sales. So something happened between 1963 and 1975. I could see that coming back because now people want fresh food. I get some milk delivered sometimes. I a cow in his backyard where do you call who do you well i have a farm that i get some stuff from and they have some milk that i order sometimes yeah i mean is he not kramer yeah yeah it is you are kramer yeah uh scott hildreth i'd like to like to hear Aaron and Nate explain why hot dogs and hot dog buns aren't the same number.

That's more of a mystery than a dozen donuts. That is, I've never, that doesn't make sense. Well, there are more hot dogs in the pack than buns, correct? Yes. I thought it was the other way around. Now, I think that the hot dogs come in dozens, right? I think it's ten. Or eight. Eight or ten, the hot dogs come in dozens, right? I think it's 10. Eight or 10 and then hot dog buns are...

Eight, I think. Eight. So you have to buy two. Yeah. So they have an incentive to keep it less. If you get the Hebrew National hot dog, it is the same as a pack of bones. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Kosher hot dogs. And that's something that People have let slide But it's like We should have probably Really gotten a lot more angry About that Cause that's crazy Yeah

Demand it Yeah And just go Well you're being ridiculous Right There's a scene in I think Father of the Bride Where Steve Martin

Just flips out And like Tears another one open right Yeah Steals two hot dog buns Yeah I remember that scene Yeah Yeah And like tears another one open, right? Steals two hot dog buns. Yeah. I remember that. Yeah.

Yeah. Kevin Reynolds. Nate, when you present at award shows like the Grammys or CMAs, do the producers write what you say? If so, do you have any say in changing the text if it's a word you can't pronounce? Yeah, I would. I mean, I have to do that all the time which is not always the funnest hold on i went a little too low uh my seat uh yeah it's not always the

funnest thing i said i do in snl where you have to look at people and go i don't know what that word is yeah you're like i'm sorry uh but yeah you get to do it. And I sent mine to the young Brian Bates because it was just a rework. Because this one they wanted me to do. I did a joke about the seat being. They wanted me to do that joke. Or normally I would write my own. The seat being stolen from Bridgerton Raymond. Yeah, yeah.

So they wanted me to do that and then i just sent it to brian to be like hey just put like what's because it was it's not in my rhythm and it's just like and so he just had it you know he just where i was like i like saying it like that better more of a yeah but it's uh yeah you would yeah you have complete i could make i could say whatever I want. Really? I mean, you know, obviously you walk out there and you could. Brian Oglesby with Nate's recent rise in popularity. He's definitely playing in this year's NBA celebrity all star game.

Get that jump shot already. Would you do it? i don't know i i i would have always wanted to do it now i don't think i would do it but uh it's just too much because last week you said you could pass from the nba i could i think i i mean i would i would want i would want to do it to be like i could do i could do layups with the NBA and you wouldn't and shoot my jumper beat. You got a good jump shot? Yeah, I think so.

Well, one comedian played in the last celebrity all-star game. Do you know who? Hasan Minhaj. Yeah. And then I watch every year. Yeah, I just think I'm now. I always wanted to play, and then now it's like mean i i just think i'm now i'm like it's like i i always wanted to play and then now it's like i'm just a little probably you know i don't know and you just get so busy

that's the anytime you get asked to do this stuff you just get no one asks you until you're the busiest person ever and then you're like yeah i don't you're like you just think about all the like i gotta go get there now you know it's just like a whole thing it's it's just it's not you know it's not downtown nashville they're playing right uh it's it's you know there's a yeah it's just hard yeah it's like one time i did a tv show called nashville squares and i thought well this will be great for sure this will be in n Nashville. And it was of course in LA. I was like, geez. Yeah. Yeah. It's, I mean, that's the hardest part is I'm learning with my careers, like the spreading out, you're getting pulled in. There's a lot of stuff going on pulled in a lot of directions but i don't want luckily my the hour i have now is basically i have the hour that so when i do tape a special b i feel good about it because i got to get it together before all this stuff

happened and then you know what and i had a lot of people talk about the me take do you have the stuff about me taking a break or something in here i don't but i think a lot of people reached out about that yeah i'm not taking a break they took it very serious yeah yeah yeah uh i understand yeah i could see that it's not i'm not taking a break i'm just saying when this be funny tour it's these last two tours were so close together that i just want to make sure I can a get some material live a life it's really for the comedy yeah I think I will have some other projects that I'll be doing but it's it's just kind of being like let me have a breather right now and then when we do you know the next tour and then 2025 it's you know we can be like I can have built an act properly and then been ready to go. Cause as you do these big venues, it's,

it's hard to build an act in an arena. It's just, it's such a big thing. You really need to do some clubs and properly do it. That's what I meant by that. Uh, and I think I'll probably end up doing, you know, I bet I could end up doing some other projects, something or whatever it is, but, um, not you know i have a good have a good steady plan of where i want to be and uh i always kind of think i always thought 40 to 50 was like a big run and then i didn't but it's like i'll just see where i'm at at 50 that's what i did yeah yeah saw where you're at dove in harder start backing Dove in harder. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Started backing off. Started saying no. I do have to say no sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Justin Gibson. Barefoot is absolutely right about the soccer thing. Your team would know not to pass it to you,

and you would just move back and forth with the rest of the players. No one would blame you for not stealing the ball from an opponent or anything. Destiny and Nate will look so slow compared to the other swimmers. Absolutely. No chance of blending it. Boom. That's what I'm saying.

This guy has no idea how fast I can swim. I can swim fast. I don't know how fast I could swim. I would go. Just saying this guy who does never see me. So I've never been swimming together. Me and this guy. Yeah.

Justin Gibson. He has no idea. I can swim underwater the full length of an Olympic-sized pool. Yeah, I bet I can too. Without coming up – you think you could? No. You think you could? I think I could.

I'd like to do it. I'd like to do it too. I mean, I'm all about it. This guy assuming that he – that Brian would look better on a soccer field than i would look in a swimming pool it's just like that's just i would do that just do i would go underwater the whole time and where they go that's not the race he was supposed to do but then it's like but it's impressive that he was able to stay under that he did come in last but he stayed under water he stayed under the whole time freestyle yeahestyle. Yeah, he did freestyle.

He goes, I do my freestyle underwater, which is actually the slowest way to swim. Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying that I'm ready to win the Olympics. Right. But the idea is that we're able to go out there and swim, and what would be the sport you would have the best chance in? And that's what I said is swimming. And everybody's acting-

That's not the way quite a half presented it. Everybody's acting like I'm out here going, I think I'm going to quit comedy and get into swimming. You know what I mean? You go out there, you got that shirt on. Yeah. That owl hat. You got to take it off for your hair and a ponytail.

Yeah. You'd be a fan favorite. And I think people would go, wow, that guy swam a lot faster than we expected. And I still stand by this, that I think you should go into the women's division and then just be like that. Yeah.

No one would question you. No one would question that. Yeah. It would be like, oh, here we go. You know, it would be kind of like, and you're just, you know, it's like, here we go. Yeah, sure. I mean, yeah.

Yeah. I mean, you know, I just, you know, wherever I blend in the best. How was the question presented? Well, just not blend in because that would be the best that you would be at the sport necessarily. Just that least. No one would notice. Likely to, yeah, that you could blend in and people wouldn't even notice you're out there. That's why I just think it should be a team sport.

I just don't think if you were on the soccer field, and I'm not even talking to you, any non-professional soccer player, it would be so obvious. I mean, those guys are in the best shape of anybody. But if you play, but like you said, like messy stops, I understand like the idea of you could just kind of hang in the middle and blend in. You could just run over here. Now, I think you're running. If you go watch him run, it's going to be, I think I could run where I would blend in.

So it's like athletically, is your run going to be like, what is up with that? Have you ever seen me run? Have you ever seen me run? No, I don't. I can just picture you just running. And, I mean, just always your hands on your head all the time. And everybody's like, I mean, he hasn't done anything. And you're just.

That is true. And then when you go and when the other team, when the ball, just the frustration of when the ball gets down and you finish switch and you're like, oh, man. And then you got to start running, you know, over that way. They always put their hands on their head at the very end of the game when it's kind of, or they'll lift their shirt. I'd be doing that.

Like how long do you expect to be able to blend in? When they go number 45, if I'm not mistaken, did not come out at all during warmups. He's sweating somehow. Something is that he couldn't handle that and the game. He told them, you got to pick one. I can't do both. Yeah.

So we're looking forward to see how he does out there. Yeah. No, I think I'd probably be given away. I'm not saying they wouldn't eventually catch on. But I just might go the longest. If I could stay in that middle and just like, ah, I was just a little bit behind them the whole time. I mean, I would think you're so slow.

It would just be. Yeah, I mean, like I always think of soccer players as the most in shape in the world. Just in the insane. You would. I think you could be. I picture you turning around because the ball is going the other way. And then you don't even get turned around and the ball goes back. It's like it's in your like, God, it's a lot quicker than I thought.

You're just in that little circle. Yeah. You never really make it out of that circle. If you just had to, if they told you just stay in the group. Yeah. Like your goal is just stay. I don't know if you could stay in the group. I don't think you could.

I think you would have to just stay on that one back for the guys that don't go all the way up. Yeah. That's a big field, man. That's a big field. Our little dog zips around and our daughter tries to keep up with her. And before she can turn around, our dog's already zipped past her. You're saying that would be me on a soccer field. Oh, yeah.

And my thing here is it's not that yours would be so terrible at soccer and that I would be so great at swimming. It's just the idea that me saying I could blend in with swimmers seems so ridiculous. That's your four foot eight. But you blending in with soccer players is just, oh, of course. Yeah, you would blend right in. I would love if we can try to do this somehow. I would love if we can try to do this somehow. If we could, say we do a camera that's like one of those for the video cameras where they show like we can't even really see the players' faces.

It's like you're just looking at formations or something. If we went and got a real soccer match going, and then each one of us just went in and out, and you would try to be like, who could you guess was who? Well, I would never blend in in soccer. You might. I would be so winded. I can't run.

I mean, I get so winded running. Yeah, I know, but it's just blending in. And you act like we've got a track star over here. Well, that's what I'm saying. I mean, he is, his middle name's winded, but he's,

he's going to figure it out. I'm saying you gotta, you have to, you, you would, you would put your hair up in a bun and then, which looks like a soccer player. Yeah.

What does your run look like? My run looks, it's not bad. I think it's not bad. You've seen a soccer player. What does your run look like? My run looks fine, I think. It's not bad. You've seen his run? I've seen your run. Where? I think my run is fine. Where was he running?

I don't know. I can just see it in my head. You run it. My run's fine, but I just, you know. You can see it in your head. You picture his run in your head? I can see it, yeah, as if I've seen it before. I don't know where or when it happened, but I got a pretty good image of it in your head i can see it yeah as if i've seen it before i don't know where or when it

happened but i but i i got a pretty good image of it in my head it's not usain bolt but it's you know but it's like athletically enough that you don't know like that guy obviously yes someone is not yeah i'll get i mean i think your run like where what is your run i mean last time i ran was when you and i were being shot at in San Antonio. Yeah. When was that? 1975. No, it was when we first started the tour. There was somebody firing shots

and we took off running. Yeah. And it was not great. Well, you weren't even looking. Because I was gone. Well, don't say it's not great then. You don't know. No, I was looking because I had to stop and look for you. Because it looked like once the guy, I think we've told the story. But it's like the guy's sitting there and out of nowhere,

these teenagers are walking as me, him, and Noah, the tour manager at the time. And so they're walking this way and it just got a vibe of it feels weird. And then the kid just turns and shoots down a street for no reason. he turns the other way he's going to just hit us so we all take off so me and Noah take off running I look back I mean it looks like Brian's run looks like he's getting closer to him it's that's how slow it was it's I mean we're in a we're in an open street and you gotta it's it's there's really there's like some trash a trash can or something there's you gotta really get somewhere to try to get behind something there wasn't like cars or there wasn't a lot of stuff yeah it you would have if you believed uh we were in the truman show type thing you would believe that moment

was a truman show type like you would would believe that moment was a Truman show type. Like you would think we could have been a Truman show. Cause it just felt very crazy to be, it felt quiet. Yeah. It was where it almost looked like a Hollywood set. And then, and then we,

then me and Noah just take off running. And then I, but I look, I don't leave yet. I don't try to leave you, but I mean, it was, you know,

he does like a few of those where you runs in place before he kind of gets going like a cartoon character yeah yeah i mean it was like there's dust fine it was like once the gun went off i mean i think brian just has to go like if it's going to happen lord it's going to happen today because this might be my time had a good life yeah what would you do if you were running? I would have got on my electric e-bike and I would have been out of there immediately. Are you looking for the best gift ever? Have you guys done holiday shopping yet? You bought some gifts?

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Starting at just $799, these e-bikes are affordable. Plus, you can get hundreds of dollars in free accessories when you put sponsors in there. So every car is like, you know, millions of dollars. I think that's the real problem.

I think it needs to go back to some basics where you just build fast cars rather than just having access to all the greatest parts in the world. Are they faster now? I thought they were faster back years ago. Well, didn't they do restrictor plates? It feels like if you have a restrictor plate and then everybody has the best stuff they can buy,

then all the cars are the same speed. I think they could probably go 250 miles an hour now if they would. I see. He's saying don't have a restricted place. Just make smaller engines. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

I don't know. I mean, I don't know about that. I just think that the problem, you know, it's like everybody gets hurt all the time in the NFL and that's because they're so strong. I don't know that people are getting hurt all the time in NASCAR. So that's my point is it's like they keep making these rules to kind of make it weaker because everybody's so strong and i just feel like you know a lot of the tackling stuff is what's fun and they call roughing the passer a lot when it feels like ah that wasn't that i mean i know all the hits are big when

you're being hit by somebody like that but sometimes it's like come on guys the guy sack the quarterback and instead of getting the sack now it's a huge But sometimes it's like, come on guys, the guy sack the quarterback. And instead of getting the sack, now it's a huge penalty when it's like, was it really that big of a deal? That's my, that's my point. Now these NASCAR, the vehicles are capable of going 230 miles per hour,

but they limit it via restrictor plates to about 200 miles an hour. That's about as fast. Yeah. That feel like then all the cars are the same and it really comes down to the driver, which maybe that's the way it should be. I don't know. I don't know NASCAR's popularity now, but I know that my family,

the redneck side of things, is not as into it as they used to be. It's not really a redneck sport anymore. It's very corporate, I feel like. Mainstream. I don't know. It's very corporate, I feel like. Yeah. Mainstream. I don't know. That's just my thoughts.

William Gallinano. William Gallinano. I wonder why Nate went to El Salvador. I've never heard comedians go in there for shows. I lived in El Salvador until I was 12 years old, and I still go back every year to visit my family. I was there for the USO tour, like for the troops. Oh. El Salvador and Honduras, which I have a joke about the guy.

Yeah. The snake joke. It's a good joke. Do you know where they're located? Yeah. We went through it's a good joke yeah do you know where they're located yeah we went through it last week but yeah yeah that's why i was down there uh yeah that snake jokes i still like telling that i i don't remember it now but i that's one that i could hang on to that i could have remembered i remembered for a lot longer and would i could pull it out sometimes

who told you that the snake that's a very fun it's like a fun one to tell I remembered for a lot longer and I could pull it out sometimes. Who told you that? The snake. That's very funny. It's like a fun one to tell. Greg Cannon. I would like to see an episode where the guys discover new countries by simply browsing a globe. We could do that.

That'd be a fun one. Mm-hmm. Yeah, like what? We've learned a lot. Like we discovered the spelling of turkey. like that that's got that's new i mean i remember making a joke that it was spelled when you're at burma oh myanmar he goes i think it's burma yeah myanmar yeah but butan you know a lot about butan never heard of it no butane i don't know what's going on here. It's in the thick of it, though. It's in the mix.

It's right next to Bangladesh, Nepal. I mean. West Bengal. China. I mean, look at Kolkata. Kolkata? Oh, Kolkata. I watched a YouTube thing on like the coldest country in the world.

And I think it's kind of a, I mean, it's like right next to Russia and maybe even a part of Russia. And it was Siberia. But it's like, you know, everyone looked Asian and it's the coldest country in the world. And it was like, it was really wild. I really enjoyed it. What was the name of it? I think it was to the, yeah, I don't remember. To the west of?

I think it was to the other side. Alaska? No, some country in Russia, maybe, or some city in there mongolia we really need a globe yeah yeah but i mean that that kind of stuff is really great i mean it's really fun to just discover what people have to go through how they have to live and it all seems so normal to them and not that big of a deal but to me it that seems insane yeah Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if you want to go see the future, go, I mean, go there. You're not going to see the future, but if you want to feel that what we're in is the future. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Go, go there. And then you're going to go, oh, we're. Yeah. In the future. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to Mississippi for a weekend.

I think. Yeah. Oh. Ooh. Shots. That's Alabama. Well, Alabama doesn't like Mississippi. I'm sure. I almost said Alabama. Then I remembered I was from there. Yeah. Yeah. Shots that down. Well, Alabama doesn't like Mississippi. I'm sure you are. I almost said Alabama

and then remembered I was from there. Yeah. Switching up. Sometimes. Leland Rounds. For Crying Out Loud, how can you talk about SNL nonstop and not make the connection

that Give Me Some Lovin' was covered by the Blues Brothers? All right. Calm down, Leland. I'm not a huge Blues Brothers fan. Yeah, I wasn't't i didn't know anything but yeah there's one great line though where dan ackroyd picks up uh john belushi from prison and they come back to his house and there's all these trains going by and he goes uh how often does the

train come by he says so often you won't even notice yeah and i think that's such a great line it's so funny and then the other one i think this is a little more classic where they go, what kind of music you play here? Both kinds. Country and Western. Well, sounds like it's your favorite movie. Those two lines are great. Leland's fired up, though.

Yeah. Yeah, one guy called us an idiot. Really? Yeah, he goes, you guys are idiots. We're not knowing that. But Leland used to which we are in tarot bang at the end there huh which we've talked about on the podcast before question mark and an exclamation point oh yeah how mad are you about this dude yeah

how do we not connect it i don't know yeah yeah i wasn't even here so we messed up uh give me give me some love give me some love give me give me some love. Give me some love. Give me, give me some love. Oh, you mean from the Blues Brothers? Yeah. Ah, if you had said that, I would have. Yeah. Eddie and Chelsea.

Well, I'm sure now he's even more frustrated when Dusty literally gives two lines from the movie. He's clearly watched it and thought about it a lot. And apparently they're making a Days of Thunder 2. Are they? Yeah. Making a Good Burger. and thought about it a lot. And apparently they're making a Days of Thunder too. Are they? Yeah. Making a good burger too. Came out of nowhere.

All right. Well, Give Me Some Lovin' was also from Days of Thunder. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Eddie and Chelsea Polinsky. Dusty deserves better. The movie he got stuck on with Woody Harrelson was The Highwaymen

with Kevin Costner about the Texas Rangers who come out of retirement to hunt down Bonnie and Clyde. I don't think so. I'm going to have to say as much as I appreciate Eddie and Chelsea Polinsky, and you're right, though, I do deserve better. But just in general. But I was thinking about Natural Born Killers. I just I was thinking that in that movie, Woody Harrelson, because I never watched it

because it's too much for me, but Woody Harrelson and now I can't think of the girl's name again, but Juliette Lewis, that they were Bonnie and Clyde. Yeah. But I'm glad that you brought up

the Highwaymen because I would like to watch this. Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson sounds like a great movie. I found a movie last night. We know, Shawshank. Yeah, watch it again. No, no, no.

I'm still on the, this will make y'all even not happy, but it's called Chariot. And it's on. A fire? No, no, it's just called Chariot. And the movie is, I just like saw it on Amazon.

It had only 77 reviews. It doesn't even have a Wikipedia. It's right below it, Chariot Film. Oh. With John Malkovich? No, no, no, no, no. No, that's not it. What's the Chariot movie right there, 2013?

It doesn't have a Wikipedia entry. Yeah. That's probably it. Yeah, that's probably it yeah that's probably it it's don't like look into it uh yeah uh this is a story yeah that's it this isn't yes oh john malkovich isn't it no no there's another cherry that he's that one right there maybe they don't look into it too much but i I mean, it's pretty good. And even when I started reading stuff about it last night.

How do you find these? 26%. It's good, though. It's fun. The acting's not. An hour and 27 minutes. I saw a guy that I looked at. Because you look up the reviews and i saw one that uh this guy he said it perfect he goes you know it's like the acting's not crazy but it's a good enough

plot that you end up going you watch the whole thing okay and you're they the whole thing's filmed in an airplane okay all in one in one plane? All in one plane. These seven people, I mean, they said, somewhere they made the movie for like 40, don't read. You can't give the whole point. It's only worth watching if you don't know why they're in that plane. Okay. I'd like to read that one.

It started off terrible acting, terrible script. Save your time. It finds out. But then this one says interesting and this guy says interesting original film i would not want to see again yeah yeah oh this one said the opposite of that ridiculous pop but well acted well that's yeah well you i you end up kind of going like i think i like all these actors like it's one of those where you're like yeah the acting is not good then you go to you, you know what? I think I like all of them.

They shot it in an airplane. It is sometimes fun to watch a movie that no one likes just because. They said they made it for $40,000. Oh, that's cool. I like that. I like that part of it. Yeah. I mean, it's interesting enough.

And it's like, because these seven people, it's got a great hook. These seven people wake up on a plane, and they don't know why they're there. And so they got to figure out, and they can't get into the cockpit, and they don't know. I like that. Yeah. Why are they there? Why are you in that? And it's an hour and a half.

It gets to it. Where that Dome movie, when they lived in a dome or dome TV show. You remember, I wanted to watch that. You're like, well, they spread that up for over 12 hours and you don't know what's happening. Right. This is an hour and a half. And then you do and you don't know. Then you figure out why they're in it.

In and out quick. And it was like, and it moves. And you're just like, yeah. And you're trying to be like, why are they in this? And you just don't really ever figure it. You know, you figure it out at the end. Any movie less than two hours is I'm in for these days. It's like they make movies too long.

It's like, learn to wrap it up in less than two hours. Watch Chariot. Let me know. Yeah. That's the best publicity they've ever gotten. Maybe the score will go up i don't know how you vote for this but uh i'll get in there and vote for it no no critics care to even take a look at it no but it's not but i mean this is a movie that's like it's at least it's not this

giant over made it's like i mean it's just this it's just an interesting like what i read someone said it uh like when you look up because i mean yeah you can't find really reviews of this and so it'd be like said like reddit you know like someone talked about that they're like you know what he goes this movie he goes it's not great acted but it was the he goes but the plot it's just interesting enough that you end up going you know what i don't think i minded that movie and you'd look back and be like they didn't make it for any money what do you find that at? Amazon.

Oh, Amazon. All right. I rented it last year. Oh, you rented it. Oh, I got to pay. I was going to say, I might go home and watch it tonight, but I got to pay for it.

Well, it's $2.99. Well, it's helping these people out. I mean, this is someone that... What about Anthony Montgomery? You know, I watched... The big Anthony Montgomery fan? Mm-hmm.

I want to help him out. I watched SNL this weekend. It was the first new one since yours. And on weekend update, they had a, uh, a thing that they cut out of your episode that I saw in the dress rehearsal. Oh really? What was it? It was a Heidi Gardner. She plays a character about a really busy worker and she's throwing things around and

it was in your dress rehearsal. It got cut out of the main one, but it was on this week. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah. yeah how about that yeah i bet they re-air yours over the holidays like thanksgiving or do they re-air them really fast they've already re-aired pete davidson's oh really yeah they aired his last week oh like on a yeah so if they have off whatever week when i assume they'll be off next week for Thanksgiving, they may reshow yours. Yeah, that'd be cool.

Yeah. Yeah. I saw it and they were, they interviewed, it's interesting to see with the George Washington sketch because there was an article they interviewed

Streeter Seidel and Mikey Day about doing it. Like it's already like, there's articles about, well, what was behind this sketch? Yeah.

Which is nice. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. All right. articles about, well, what was behind this sketch? Which is nice. That's great. Very cool. Well, I see you're yawning. Maybe you need a little Helix mattress. You know what? Thanks to our friends at Helix Sleep. Seamless.

I do like Helix mattress. Thanks to our friends at Helix Sleep. Lucky for you, they're having a new sale. Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders and two free pillows, November 10th through the 19th. So that's when the free sale is. Do you think people won't come to your house because of the leaves? I don't know. I can't. They don't know about the leaves? I don't know. I can't, they don't know about the leaves. So they may listen to this podcast and if they find out,

you know, they may not come, but I think I'm having trouble getting my parents to come because of college football. My dad, you know, he needs to be at home and my mom has season tickets to the Auburn games and she's been going to a lot of away games so I don't want to say that my parents don't love me but not as much as they love college football yeah they're living their life right yeah that's impressive because Auburn's not having a great year now and she goes to the way game she is a dedicated fan wow yeah yeah very few bandwagon Auburn fans they've been bad for so long it's like if you're an Auburn fan, you're in it. They won a championship.

Not long ago. Yeah, but they were. Too long ago. Yeah, but. 10 years ago? 2011. When did y'all win one last? 88.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like Notre Dame's been. Is y'all's really 88? 88, three years before I was born. It was our last national championship game. I remember it. Do you really?

Lou Holtz. Yeah, man. I remember it. Do you really? Lou Holtz. Yeah, man. I remember it. Reggie Ho. Lou Holtz was so great. And I tell you, I used to make fun of Lou Holtz a little bit because he always annoyed me when he was a commentator. But I was going to make a joke about him. So I went and watched some of his videos.

Very inspirational. Yeah, his inspirational talks. I love Lou Holtz. I was like, I'll never do that again. I'll never make fun of him inspirational. Yeah, it's inspirational talks. I love Lou Holtz. I was like, I'll never do that again. I'll never make fun of him again. He's really great. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. All right, this week we're talking about pets. Now, I read that the average, or not average, but in America, two-thirds of Americans own households, own a pet. For this table, it's three-fourths, I guess. Yeah. No, you don't have one. Well, you've got probably some other stuff.

I got some outdoor animals that I enjoy seeing. On the regular? On the regular, but I don't own them. You don't? No. And I don't like an indoor animal. Would you feel bad if they died? Do you have that kind of relationship with them?

What are they? Well, I got raccoons. I got possums out there. How do you know that it's the same what are they well i got you know i got raccoons i got possums out there how do you know that it's the same raccoon i don't know i did trap a raccoon one time on accident and i let him go or her i don't know i don't know him that well got a lot of birds i got some squirrels i'm thinking about putting up an owl house and um so we'll see how that goes in your neighborhood in my yeah my backyard neighbors are gonna be like just because they those things don't stop owls yeah my my um i got some my hoa is pretty loose you know and i got some neighbors in back a back of me they have a

lot of chickens so i think you know you're saying they don't stop making noise the owls well yeah yeah i mean it's always cool when you hear an owl yeah yeah but it's like yeah but like if you had an owl house i'd imagine if you heard it all day every night you'd be like all right my wife might hate it yeah she's kind of against it and see i'm either i want to i want a nighttime creature out there so i'm either going bat houses or owl houses. For what reason? Yeah. Just to have?

Well, the bats eat mosquitoes. Okay. And they say they really can eliminate a mosquito problem if you have a colony of bats. And then. Possums eat ticks. Possums eat snakes even too. Yeah. And then when you have chickens, I feel like we're going to have more snakes.

And then. Why is that? Because they come for the you have chickens, I feel like we're going to have more snakes. And then- Why is that? Because they come for the eggs. Oh, I see. And I don't have chickens, but my neighbor does. And then an owl will eat rats and I hope moles. We got a lot of moles. I'd love for it to get the moles.

Yeah. I remember it was the first real battle going here. I mean, it's a real Roman Coliseum in the backyard there. I'm just all about getting this wildlife going. That's why I'm into native flowers. I have so many bees now. I'm all about it. Now you have worms, right?

Well, not yet. I'm going to have them. And they'll be indoors. No, no, no. I thought you were going to keep them in the bathtub. A bathtub, but for outdoor. I envision the one you like, you just push them over

and shower with them. I'm going to be, this is going to be a completely outdoor worm. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Come on. What was your McMinnville house? I didn't know what goes on out there, your cabin. Were you about to say something,

Aaron? I don't remember. All right. What were you talking about? We were talking about all kinds of animals. Outdoor animals. Moles. I don't remember. It were we talking about? We were talking about all kinds of animals. Outdoor animals. Moles.

I don't remember. It'll come back to you. Yeah, it will come back to me as soon as we've moved on. So dog, dog. Two cats? Two cats now, yeah. Two cats. Did you ever have pets growing up?

Yeah, I did have pets growing up. I had a dog. I had a dog when I was a little, living in the trailer park, it would always grunt when it was a puppy. And my friend told me I should name it Grunt. So I did name it Grunt. And I had a dog named Grunt for a long time. And then it disappeared. My friend told me he saw my mom loading it up into the dog pound truck one day oh gosh she denies it she said that didn't happen and i can't see my mom doing it but i also don't know why my friend would say that so i don't know we never had indoor pets everything was outside and i feel like that's

kind of gone grunt was an outdoor dog yeah grunt was yeah i mean we didn't live on the in a farm or you know we're in the country we live on the in a farm or you know we're in the country we lived kind of in a neighborhood type area and everything was outdoors outdoor cats outdoor dogs you almost seem young enough that people would be upset about that because nowadays you can't get away with that like you used to not where we lived okay you know it's just kind of understood i remember our dog you hear it outside going, it was cold. Yeah. It would want to come in so bad. My dad would be like, shut that thing up out there.

Yeah. It's just, it's annoying. You know, it's a dog. Yeah. It never thought, oh, this is supposed to be inside with us. Yeah. That's how I grew up. Yeah.

Yeah. This is the first indoor dog we ever, or indoor pet I've ever had. I had a good joke that I used to do. It's on my making that fudge album about dogs, about the difference of dogs growing up versus dogs now. And I love that joke, but it, it, all of a sudden it just hit a place where that joke would not go well anymore. Like people were not into that anymore.

Because there wasn't too much into it. Well, it was a longer bit just about how you know how we raise dogs versus how people raise dogs now yeah and it just was funny to people because they i feel like they still remembered the old time versus the new time and now i feel like we're too much into the new time where it seems like i was abusing my dog yeah but i was just you know treating it like a dog i have a little quick yeah yeah i have a quick joke to my act now but but it's just a quick oh yeah i don't do mine anywhere anyway what's the longest you ever owned one pet do you ever like a dog for like a long time uh yeah we had a dog named noah there's a schnauzer that's probably one i remember the most uh and then

yeah we and we had a ton of pets my dad we had a spider a snake i mean a tarantula you wake up dad would just have it laying on your chest uh i think it froze to death because the heat broke because the heat broke and now we've had like crazy a lot of birds abigail abigail's the big pet like the overly pet stuff you get to bring home find animals she found one of our cats yeah that's one of our cats yeah yeah so uh but that like we had a bird that uh one got flew into a mouse trap the sticky thing and so they had to shave half of it off another one flew into a mouse trap, the sticky thing. And so they had to shave half of it off. Another one flew into a frying pan. Oh gosh. I think lived

but yeah, flew into a frying pan. Just all we had a fish jump out of the aquarium once and it got all the way out. And so we got there the next morning, it's just dead on the floor. Suffocated.

Yeah. And then... It sounds like all your pets were killing themselves. It does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm ready to go. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, a fish jumping out of the aquarium.

I mean, that's like... What's the fish thinks going to happen here? I mean, you got to think dignified death is a very, it's a strictly human thing. Every other death on earth is tragic. Yeah. Where were you looking for that? I was searching for that. I was looking off into the. Kind of a gaze off into the.

searching off looking off yeah you kind of a gaze off into the think about every life on earth most of them end horrifically except for humans yeah most of the time yeah well nowadays i think a lot less for dogs yeah but even still but i've had a lot of animals like if you're like how do they die i bet they're not every animal is getting murdered i I think it gets to a certain age where it can't defend itself anymore, and it just dies tragically somehow, most of them. Out in the wild. A bird falls down from the sky, something like that. Yeah, but then it would just have died. Yeah, but that's like a tragic death to fall out of the sky and die.

Yeah, but, well, it's just their life. If you walked and died and had a heart attack and just fell on the ground, that's the same as a bird. I agree. Yeah. Yeah, it probably died before it hit the ground. Maybe. Yeah.

We kind of hope so, right? I said that to say don't feel too bad about these pets dying. Well, I just think, like, he had two birds almost fly to their death i mean apparently they lived and they were probably like dang but the uh the goldfish jumps out i had a pet frog for a little while that i you know i caught a bunch of tadpoles and it came it turned into a frog and it jumped out and i found it under like the rug in the kitchen it was all smushed up and like hard by this point. Like we lost it for a long time and you find it just like a real hard. Yeah.

Do you have a bird that the dog swallowed? Oh yeah. Yeah. I don't remember this. I don't know if I would like, I might've moved or something. Derek Abigail would have, but we had a dog that, yeah, we got a dog. We had a dog named Oreo that my dad just got, they were given away at Walmart. And so my dad just comes home with this dog and then, uh, it's a great name though.

Yeah. And then, uh, so then Oreo and like, I guess swallowed this bird and then Derek grabbed it. And like, when it picked it up, I kind of gave it the Heimlich and spit the bird out so that was the other bird was still alive yeah that's why your birds are committing suicide because they're like it's either that or the dog's gonna eat me yeah I think the animals were it's a tough time yeah and the Bargetti household yeah showed up it's a lot I've been over there yeah sometimes yeah I get. Bird's the one pet I don't fully understand. Somebody's got a bird for a pet.

I don't, I don't understand what you get out of it. Cause I feel like there's very little, I don't know, physical touch between the two of them. I don't even know if a bird can bond with a human being. I don't know if they can. My,

yeah, my buddy used to, they had a, they had parents and I mean, it's like, you know, I, yeah, I buddy used to, they had parents. And I mean, it's like, you know, yeah, I don't want to say so much because I want to try to do, I've been trying to do a pet chunk. I don't think I'm going to do it this hour. But I mean, so by the time I do it, it doesn't matter. But yeah, you go over to his house and I mean mean it sounds like you're in a war zone

I mean it's just it's just like ahhh and you're in like a two bedroom house and it sounds just like dinosaurs in the room and it's

you know I mean it's stuff's loud animals are loud yeah we had like a cockatoo or like a cockatiel kind of got like

the little mohawk for a little while. And he would just go, just all the time. They say some of them can talk. So we put it by the phone, hoping that it would kind of pick up like hello and stuff like that. Never did. I think you have to work with it. I don't think you can just listen to answer machine.

Well, yeah, I thought every time you pick it up, you go, hello. Okay. Because this is before caller ID. And you would you would go hello and you look at the bird yeah like it's almost never picked up on it never picked up yeah my neighbor one of the first you remember the first time when you're like a certain age where the first time like it was the first time somebody hired my neighbor had all these birds and they left town and they were like we'll pay the nine-year-old kid next door to come just like feed the birds and the first day i went over there to feed the birds

i opened the cage and they had like this two can and it just flew right out of it it's just like loose in the house and i was like oh no this is the first time they're paying me with a i remember they paid me with a 25 papa john's gift card i remember specifically that's what they paid me with a $25 Papa John's gift card. I remember specifically that's what they gave me. To know your audience. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They know how to incentivize me.

But the first day I had to call their adult son who lived across town to come drive to the house and catch this bird and put it back in. I like that it's- Your parents made you call as a nine-year-old? My parents weren't involved at all. I walked over to the neighbor's house and I... How did you call? They had a list of emergency numbers on the fridge or something. Yeah.

I had to call them. I like that the brother lived across town, or the son, and he couldn't just come over. Well, they figured it's easier. We'll pay this guy $25. That's barely enough for one pizza from Papa John's. Yeah. Just have him walk over next door.

They still pay you? They did pay me. They were nice about it. Well, yeah, it's nice to have, like, let a kid give some responsibility. Sure, sure. But the brother was like, do not pay this guy.

Yeah, I remember he showed up. He was like, oh, God. He, like, flew across. It's a big problem when there's a toucan loose in your house At least you were smart enough to shut the door that goes outside That's true I made sure of that before I did anything

I don't even think I was supposed to open the cage I don't know why I did that I think you can just feed them through it or something I don't know I opened it and it took advantage Well that shows that bird wanted out of there They all want out of there They'd all leave if you opened up. You get their wings clipped.

That's what you always do to them to keep them from flying away. What does that frown upon? I would think so. I would think having them at all would be frowned upon. Yeah, we had one. I think my mom opened the door to clean it and it flew away when I was like real little. Pet bird? Yeah.

And it flew out the, it's like Aunt Bea. Mayberry. Andy Griffith Show. Aunt Bea had a, I think she had a bird. Oh, I don't remember that episode. And I've seen so many episodes. Yeah. I remember Opie had some birds that Andy made him let go of.

So your mom had like a window open or a door open? Yeah. No, I think that Andy Griffith has an episode where Aunt Bea, it's not Aunt Bea's birds, but Aunt Bea was cleaning the cage and the bird flies out the window. Okay. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

What a great show. The Birdman. Yeah. Yeah. Your day is full of to-dos, responsibilities, and balancing work with spending quality time with loved ones while finding time for yourself. With everything you have on your plate, earning your degree online seems impossible. But at Grand Canyon University, they specialize in helping you fit your bachelor's,

master's, or doctoral degree into your busy day. G is an affordable private christian university based in uh beautiful phoenix arizona been there a bunch offering 330 friends started petting the cat they were like oh it's such a beautiful cat he loves your house so me and hannah we were like you know what we're gonna adopt the cat so we went we went to pet smart or whatever and we bought uh some cat litter and some food we were like oh we were like we're cat owners litter and some food. And we were like, oh, we were like, we're cat owners now. And the cat came in, we were petting it. And then the next day it jumped up, knocked over all my potted plants, broke them all over the floor everywhere. And then I let the cat out and then it killed a bird and ate the bird all but one foot. And it ate, just completely

ate the bird, my birds that i feed and so i loaded it up in a cage and i took it to my dad and it didn't even bring the bird to the front door which is what they usually do you know it ate it on we fed it yeah it ate all the food and then it went out killed a bird and i caught it with just a foot hanging out of its mouth did you let it finish the foot no i just i was like I was like, I was so mad. I don't, why are we mad about it? That's what cats do though. But I'm feeding the birds.

I like the birds. It felt like I set the birds up. Yeah. I betrayed their trust. Now they know. You think of the birds as pets. Well, I like them. I like to see them.

It goes out and stands in the- Me and Joe Zimmerman appreciate birds. This was like during COVID. Yes. He has an owl on his hat. This was like during COVID? Yes. He has an owl on his hat. Yeah. Oh, wow. It's an owl.

Yeah. That's crazy. But birds catch mice. Yeah, but they also kill birds. You also collect mice, though. Yeah. Well, I had mice at one point in my life. I'm not a mice guy.

I got a mice farm now. You had a lot of mice, I believe. Well, it started with two, but they, they get out. They breed.

Yeah. They get after it. They get at it. Yeah. We had a snake. We had a red-tailed boa. And you had, and you,

we'd have to feed it mice and. Live or frozen? We do it live. We do frozen ones. That's fun to watch. It is fun to watch. You put it in there and you're, you know, it gives him some stimulant. Like he's got a, but I mean, he would like the snakes.

I remember because the mouse could, I mean, there's sometimes we'd see that mouse. It'd be, I mean, they just walk up and be smelling the mouth of the snake. Like just being like, well, what's this? Oblivious? Oblivious. And then some would get behind a towel and be like oh and then so there's the old towel in there and so then my dad had to reach in once to move the towel and the snake struck his hand but just like hit it and kind of came back

and i remember one time looking trying to look under the towel to see where the mouse was and it just struck it it saw my movement and thought i was something uh yeah it was i yeah i really you know when we got that snake i was very excited about having this snake uh and then it's like yeah i don't think i don't know another snake terrified of snakes i can't handle it we had i had a hamster that i named skunky when i was young and i used to love that hamster that i remember i came back I was young. And I used to love that hamster. Then I remember I came back from school one day and my mom said Skunky died. And I found out years later that my mom fed Skunky to my brother Snake Slither.

Because it was like old and dying. And she said, well, this will save me a trip to the pet store to get an actual. So I just fed the hamster to the snake. It's kind of an economical move on my mom's part you know i love that your mom just was like it's about to die yeah no yeah i mean it was old and it was it was about time right but that snake that snake got out of the cage and the dog ate the snake wow so it was like a real yeah it's a real circle maybe the dog loves skunky yeah it's a bit of a message what kind of snake was it it was a ball python and it got out of my brother's cage and we looked

forever and couldn't find it yeah and we just kind of wrote it off i guess the snake's gone right i got out of the cage it was gone and then the dog threw it up everywhere you can see that he had eaten the snake man how could you sleep knowing that would be hard to sleep knowing like the snakes yeah somewhere i was on the the different level of the house my brother lived on the in the basement Yeah, you're right. I mean, I guess it didn't bother me at the time, but maybe I should have been a little more weird. I can't believe your parents weren't just freaking out. They might have been,

but a ball python's not poisonous. It doesn't really bite. It just kind of wraps itself around you. Your throat? That's fine. You can deal with that. It was like this big. No, I know, but when it started, you just know. I agree with you. Because, I i mean they could hang out like above a door frame oh they could and they just drop just i mean i had a snake the other day i

lifted my garage door and there was a little snake there and then it ran well it slithered into my garage and i freaked out i was able to get a picture and i sent it to jesse rothacker and he was able to tell me that it was a garter snake and that it was fine. So it eased my mind a little bit, but I never found it. I don't know. Well, it probably got back out. I hope so. Yeah.

We used to catch snakes all the time as kids. My dad would take us out. I remember walking through the wilderness pillowcases, just trying to catch them. Yeah. I don't even know. I don't remember. We probably wouldn't bring them back. Yeah. For what purpose? You just want to catch them like Yeah. I don't even, I don't remember. We probably wouldn't bring them back. Yeah.

For what purpose? You just want to catch them. Like you catch fish just to like have it. And then you, then you let it go. Yeah. I think it'd be fun to go. I, I, yeah, I've always liked snakes a lot, but it's, yeah, as I've gotten older, it's like, you're like, I don't want one as a pet anymore, but I deal with it.

I do. And I, I, the snakes I put new at, when i was a kid i knew everything all i did was read snake books wow i loved it does harper still have a was it a chowchilla or what was it she had uh what did she have a guinea pig a guinea pig okay no what'd you call it is there something called a chowchilla yeah i think that's a thing in mexico that no one can find chupacabra? Yeah. Chow-chow. That sounds like a chow like the dog.

Chow-chow. I'm telling my grandma I'll try to order at a Mexican restaurant. Get a quesadilla, a jalapeno. We have Sonny's. Yeah, Sonny's not here now. And then she had a fish too, Twinkle. I thought it was called Twinkle, and I think she called it because she was real little, something else. But I thought she was, yeah. Yeah, I forget what it was.

But that fish, Laura went to clean the bowl one day, and we moved it over. And then you go back, and she put it in like a cup. And then we go back, and then the fish is gone. We still don't know where that fish is. Wow. And there's have a air conditioning vent was right there so you're like maybe it went down there but we stuck our hand way down in there yeah it's just crazy to be like this little just a little fishy you're like i don't know where that fish could holly have grabbed it real fast we i mean we thought maybe i mean it was just such some but i don't it was all at the we were all just standing right there and it's like, where's the fish?

You know, I don't, yeah. I don't know. Still don't know. Maybe it made its way out. Found some water somewhere. Maybe. So dogs are the most popular pet. Cats are obviously second.

Third, I read two different things. One place I read, this is in America, it's goldfish or freshwater fish. And the other place I read it's ferrets it's the third most popular that hat in america yeah i don't oh yeah i remember thinking i remember thinking you wanted a i wanted a ferret a ferret was such a cool pet at one point yeah but they stink yeah yeah i heard theo vaughn called a ferret the limousine of rats. It's like one of the funniest things I've ever heard. That's all I think about now. Yeah, that is very funny.

Yeah, they were really cool. I remember there was some movie that I was watching, and at the beginning of the movie, they were having these animal fights, and they had a ferret versus a snake or something, and everybody would say that a ferret could kill a snake, but in the wild, not in a cage. Yeah. Wild ferrets. Like a ferret, kill a snake, but, you know, in the wild, not in a cage. Wild ferrets.

Like a ferret, like not in a cage. A ferret or... Honey badger. No, there's something else that they would fight. King cobras. Oh, yeah. What was Rikki-Tikki-Tobby?

Huh? What was Rikki-Tikki-Tobby? I don't know who you're talking about. I'm laughing because that's like a cartoon from the 60s. Can you Google Rikki-Tikki-Tobby? It's cracking you up, though. It's the opposite of the noise that we can't hear because of our age. You're doing the exact opposite.

Oh, a mongoose. A mongoose. Boom. It's a short story. 1894 short story collection. Wow. About adventures of a valiant young Indian gray mongoose. It has often been anthologized.

Oh, we got there. Maybe it was a mongoose, but we always thought that it was a ferret that could kill a snake. No, mongoose was the big one that could fight a snake. Well, anyway, they made it a cartoon years later. You remember that cartoon? Oh, the rickety-ticky-tobby from 1965. Yeah, there you go. In the Soviet Union.

Well, I was into Soviet stuff back there. Yeah. Yeah, it was before the Cold War. Yeah. Before we were out of it. Yeah. Because we used to go to Russia all the time. It's crazy.

Things really got weird between us when I was about in seventh grade. So last year, Americans spent $137 billion on their pets. Up 10% just from the year before. They say pets are the new kids and plants

are the new pets. That's what people say. Who says that that that's an expression now an expression but just because people are not having a lot of kids like we're not even really having enough kids to like replenish yeah yeah the replacement rate yeah so everybody you know because everybody has pets like i was in chattanooga one time which i'll be going there on friday but i was in chattanooga and they have a dog park um and it's just like it really is like young people like they would be out with their kids right yeah but they're out with their dogs at brunch playing the music real loud the dogs probably hate it but well yeah pets are getting where you're uh it's just uh yeah it's just, yeah, it's a person in your house.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. The relationship with it's, yeah, I think it's, it's nice. People will be marrying their dogs soon.

How, what a soon? Yeah. Five years. Five years. That is soon. Yeah. Yeah.

You think they're going to, you want to bet? You want to bet on this? 20 bucks? I don't gamble, but I'll, I'll take a friendly bet with you. Yeah. Yeah. You think they're going to – You want to bet? You want to bet on this? $20? I don't gamble, but I'll take a friendly bet with you. Yeah. Well, that's what – So that is gambling.

That's gambling. With no money, though. We'll just – $20. We'll just make it. So you gamble. You just don't ever do money. I'll –

You gamble. You just don't ever have any stakes. I'll do a $20 Papa John's gift card. There you go. All right. Let's do that. You got to buy whoever – Within five years.

Dusty, do you really think you gotta buy whoever within five years dusty do you really think we'll be here in five years uh well i think 2030 is where it's gonna get real wild yeah okay so we got a few years left yeah seven fun yeah yeah oh yeah yeah i mean it's already it's crazy if it's not wild now what how do we know, like, does someone just have to marry their dog? I think there has to be a sanctioned, like, a conversation. The conversation has to be about should people be allowed to marry their pets? It can't be. I'm sure you could find someone right now that has tried to marry their dog.

Yes. Right. But if there's, like, a conversation of people being like, you want to say pets? Animals. Just say we should say animals to make it more. I think it's dog specific. It's going to be an animal. It's going to be a dog. Or maybe a cat.

Yeah. I don't think. Yeah. I thought you would be more open to for this bet. You're so confident. Yeah. I think it's going to be dogs. Let's keep it dogs.

Yeah. I mean, I agree with you because I've heard you talk about. I don't know if they marry them. They might try to save their kids. Yes. And like be on their insurance or like that kind of thing. Yeah, I agree. That's what it's going to be.

Yeah. They're going to have- Like a co- Rights like that. I mean, I agree that we'll go to that place too, but I do think that, I mean, I'm going to stick with the Mariana dog. Okay. Okay. Okay.

I mean, I know you're not a big dog fan. I do agree with you that we now treat our dogs like kids. And I mean, I'm guilty of that, but I also think I'd treat my daughter like a kid. So I can do both. Well, it's a, yeah,

it's, it's still, it's still different. I mean, even if you treat your, it is different. You treat your, you,

you can, it's like, it's a lot of responsibility. You gotta have a dog and all this. When your dog dies, it's a, it's a lot of responsibility. You got to have a dog and all this. When your dog dies, it's a dog and you move on pretty quickly. Yeah. You know. I opened for John Lovitz a few times.

Very nice guy. I always liked him a lot. And one weekend I was working with him and every night we would go out to a sushi restaurant and it would be me, John Lovitz, uh, the manager of the club and John Lovitz dog and John Lovitz and his dog would sit on one side of the booth and me and the manager would sit on the other side and John Lovitz would order his dog a bowl of chicken, uh, which it's, you know, it's fine. It's great. I'm not right. Kind of restaurant. It was a sushi restaurant and I wasn't, I'm not mad at John Lovitz for doing it.

I mean, he loved his dog, but I just always thought it was really funny just to, for one thing, just to be sitting across the table from John Lovitz was fun to me. But John, he had his dog there and it was, yeah. Yeah. I had to take his dog out to use the bathroom when I opened for him. Oh, yeah. While he was on stage. Yeah. Yeah. It was just me and the dog in the green room.

I do that for Angela. Really? I have to hold Angela's dog for her closer. And then when she says, thank you, good night, I put the dog around and the dog runs out on stage. Oh, she brings the dog on stage? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, I think about getting a a tour dog like having a dog i mean we're just

out on the road so much that you're like it'd be fun to have a little could you have one on the bus uh yeah oh yeah yeah you could bring holly came one time yeah holly came yeah yeah i actually should try to do that one time and just be like if i'd see if i really want it and just be like i'm gonna bring holly with me this week, you know, we'll just see what she does. You know, but it's always the, there's a, I like the idea of it. I have a little problem with that. I feel like there's an arrogance to it. That's like, you know, it's like, you know, people are working and you're like, but people do like dogs running, you know.

Like, you know, people are working and you're like, yeah, but people do like dogs run, you know, but, but there's something that feels like, who do I think I am that I can bring? I could do whatever I want. You know, there's something about that. I get that. I agree. But it, but then there is like, it'd be fun. It's fun just to have a dog. It's fun to just be like, you know, everyone on the tour is like, yeah, we like. I do think you could bring your dog if you want, but I'm also, yeah. I mean, i do think you could bring your dog if you want but i'm also yeah i mean yeah you could definitely bring your dog if you want but

i if i were like on tour with somebody and they brought that i'd be like oh man i wish the dog was not here yeah yeah but if you i mean it is your tour right so if you want to bring a dog yeah definitely welcome to bring a dog. Yeah. And if I were on the, I would not say, ah, can't believe you brought this dog. But in my head, I would always be like, I wish this dog was there. Yeah. Well, I'd want to bring a dog and then not have to do anything.

It's like, I want the dog. I want just the positives of the dog. Where it's like the dog could sit in my lap. It could, you know, sit in my lap. It could lay in your bed and I want to walk with you. Yeah, you need the dog and a person to tend to the dog. Chase.

You bring an owl on the road. Yeah. Lands on my arm. I let it go at night. I feel like you would get on YouTube and you'd go, there is a snake somewhere. Alright, goodnight. There somewhere. Yeah. All right. Good night. There's something different about a dog.

There's something. Human beings' relationship with a dog, it's different. It's they're happy, always happy to see it. Yes. And it's that kind of thing that when you see a dog, they're always in a great mood to see you. They're very excited. They're very affectionate. It's the same way i understand talking with kids like i thought about it like after snl i came home and uh i took uh harper

and her cousins we went to did i tell i might have said this we went to go i said let's go eat fast food we're going to pick everybody picks their the the what's the most perfect meal you can pick so it was like we all talked so they were you know they got a firehouse like harper and them love firehouse up so it's like firehouse subs mcdonald's fries and a sonic blast and then i uh i love to do this with you at some point yeah Yeah. Yeah. And then, well, we could do it. We should have a day to do it. You go pick. You just get.

You get. Piecemeal. You get a piecemeal and go, I'm going to get what I like the best of. And then I forget my nephew, like my and Zach. And like, it was like them three. I'm blanking on what I even got. I was at McDonald's. I went to McDonald's. I mean, mine's like, I'm probably going what I even got I got uh I was at McD I went to make I mean mine's like I'm probably gonna go to McDonald's and then I think I got a Sonic Blast I would have done a Dairy Queen

there's not really a Dairy Queen around here uh but I think I got a Sonic yeah I got a Sonic Blast and then I got fries and maybe I forget something else uh but yeah so we did that but what i enjoyed and i think it's the same mentality of with the dog is like when we were riding together it was like we did not talk about saturday night live like it's because it's kids and then you're talking about like what the food is you know i think a dog feels like that when someone comes home it's like there's no real world i mean obviously it's a dog but like you're there's like, there's no real world. I mean, obviously it's a dog, but like you're, there's like not a real world thing. It's like, if your dog has a problem, it's like, you got to deal with that problem with that dog.

That dog's happy to see it lays on you. It's just. Dog's not asking you questions. Yeah. Yeah. Not telling you what's been going on with it. You ever heard of GK Chesterton? There's an old author.

I have heard of that. I don't know how, but I haven't heard of that. He wrote Ricky an old author. I have heard of that. I don't know how, but I haven't like Ricky teeny time. He has a Christian. He said he wrote this essay called on dogs. And at one point in it, he's like looking at his dog in front of the fire and reflecting on it. And he says, man ought to have six legs.

I was just, he's like those other four legs are like a part of us in a way that it's just not the case for other animals. The, the scientific reason that we, you know, we created dogs out of wolves. Like 10,000 years ago? Yeah. Like a long time ago. And we, we evolved together. Dogs and humans do have like a special relationship.

Yeah. And I like our cats, but I do think there's something, the dog is like something special, you know? Oh, yeah. I learned from the Missouri part two episode. I didn't, I never got to share this fact, but I'll share it now that the man's best friend line came from a trial in Missouri where a man's dog was shot by a neighbor. shot by a neighbor. And the neighbor said he was like, he thought it was like a wolf or,

I mean, a coyote or something that was trying to kill his livestock shot and killed it. He sued, they went to trial and the guy got on stand and shared this kind of poetic story about how much his dog meant to him and enough to make the jury like kind of get on his side. And I think the local paper or something labeled it as this man's best friend. Wow.

And that's how that phrase like that. Yeah. I mean, I do like dogs and I, you know, when you talk about that, like a dog out and out on a farm and all that sort of stuff, I mean, and by the fire, I mean like, and then the dog not giving you any, like just being happy to see, I mean, that all sounds great. I mean, I love that, but I just feel like our lives are in such a way now to where it's like, you know, you live in the suburbs, you have a dog and it's like, anytime you want to go out of town, you got to figure out some dog situation. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot. I mean, I always think for younger people, a lot of young people have

dogs. I think that's a huge mistake. Yeah. People in their twenties and you have a dog. It's a lot. I mean, I always think for younger people, a lot of young people have dogs. I think that's a huge mistake. People in their twenties and you have a dog is, it's a- Takes over your life. It takes over your life and it's a worry and a hassle. And you like the idea of the dog and all this, but it's just, you really put that burden on somebody in your family. Not always, but it's, you know, you, you really put that burden on somebody in your family. Uh, you know, not always, but, but, you know, but it's, it's just a lot, you know, a dog is a lot and, you know, when you're young, you're kind of running around and you want to be out, you want to be doing stuff. You don't think that can help you mature though, before you have kids? Nah. kids? Nah. Well, I just say, I knew some people like back when I was drinking that, that, you know, they would have dogs and they would have to, I knew a girl specifically, she had like this

hunting dog. It was a very nice dog, but she would keep it either in her bedroom or in a cage and she would go to work and then she would go to happy hour somewhere. And half the time she'd come home drunk. The dog's been in the cage all day or in the bedroom. The bedroom's destroyed. It's just like, it's not fair to the dog. Yeah. It's like. Especially a hunting dog.

Yeah. You think you're, it's a, it's actually, yeah, you could argue it's, you know. Animal abuse. Selfish. No, it's selfish more than. But it's you. But look, there's going to be people that are great with dogs yeah and so yes there is i think there is a level of maturity that you could have

because there is a lot of people with dogs but i i i just think it depends on how busy your life is what kind of situation you're in like i mean i was in new york and you would comics would have dogs and you're like you know like i gotta go just the weight of their you know we're all hanging out and it's like i gotta go let my dog out and you're like that energy is you're just you know you're kind of like you know now you just and then they leave and then we end up hanging out longer and it's like well they had to go let it and then you're like why do you have a dog or they never had a dog and they're just trying to get away yeah they i could it's a good excuse it is good excuse my buddy used to have it i lived on folly beach for a while my buddy used to have like this great dane and it was really fun we would get on like a longboard skateboard

and like hold the leash of the dog and the dog could pull us down the street on the skateboard that was a lot of fun yeah but it's like it wasn't my dog right so it's like, it wasn't my dog. Right. So it's like, I got to do that and then go, you know, you take care of the dog. Yeah. You got to like, you know, yeah. Are they, Holly doesn't lay, she won't like, she likes to lay near you and be around you and all that. She won't lay on you or anything. There's nothing, you know, she doesn't have that kind of vibe, but she wants to be around

all the time. You know, they, i looked this up cats don't cats don't even know cats sort of think that their owners are just big cats they don't even recognize there's something different from them so they just treat you like a like a big cat that kind of feeds them oh you know but a dog clearly like a dog recognizes that kind of feeds them. But a dog, clearly like a dog recognizes this is something other than me. It knows. That's what G.K. Chesterton said.

He said, whatever it means to be a human being is imprinted inside a dog more than you could ever put into words. Something about that. Yeah, it's nice. You know? Yeah, you like it. I fired you up. I did, man. I like that. Good writing. I like that. Yeah. It's nice. You know, you like, you got fired.

Yeah, I did, man. Now on your birthday, you're going to go home to your two dumb cats. Yeah. I like the cats. They think you're a cat.

Cats are, it's the, it's no responsibility in a way. I mean, it's a little, but a lot less. It's the litter boxes of whole thing. Yeah. It can take over the house, but yeah, I'm not worried about them at home right now.

No. I don't have to rush home to let them out. Yeah. You know, they're just like probably wrestling with each other or just waiting on me to feed them. That's pretty much it. Yeah. Anyway. Well, I was going to list some celebrities that have exotic pets, but we're running out of time.

But Leonardo DiCaprio has a tortoise that's 23 years old right now, but it'll live, could live up to a hundred. Wow. So somebody is getting that, that tortoise. Yeah. That's cool. Um, but it's, yeah. And they say they never stopped growing, right? As long as they live, they never stopped growing.

Oh yeah. I mean, when it's Australia, they, I mean, you mean the tortoise, it's like 190 some, you know. Yeah. There's a tortoise. It might've been the one. There was one that just died that was like from Darwin. Yeah. Imagine that, like you get that and then you're just, you know, you're throwing four generations of a burden of this

tortoise that's like where's this dumb turtle from and it's like and it's like i didn't want a turtle you're like well you remember your ancestors that came over on boats they got one and now we and now you got it in a honda civic because this because this tour because you're oh yeah you're like why do they got this deck i'm towards a couple more selma hyatt 190 i was on 200 years ago uh 200 years ago eight uh was 18 18 23 18 23 imagine just roughly if they live uh that long you get23, you could have someone from 1823 and you have his tortoise. That turtle

lived through the Civil War. It was, I mean, it was 40 when the Civil War happened. Too old to fight.

It was too old to fight the war. I mean, can you imagine that? That's crazy. If you got a, I think they lived through it. I'm saying all this.

Yeah, but imagine being 110 and World War II starts up and and you're like oh and then you know and you're yeah this tortoise lives and then now you're living like you live now and you have a tortoise from your so removed family member uh that you're like having to like you're gonna feed it lettuce and it's like what are y'all doing? It's a thing to pass down. Salma Hayek has an owl that lives in the house. Lands on her head sometimes at night.

That seems scary. Mike Tyson had a tiger that ripped a woman's arm off. He paid her $250,000. Worth it. I don't know. An arm is tough to lose. I'm talking about for him. Yeah, for him.

That's a great deal for him. She jumped over his fence and got into the cage. Oh, that changes everything. Well, you don't. Yeah, you let that out. Yeah, that's like. Yeah, she doesn't. I don't even know if you have to give her $250,000. He's being nice. Yeah. Yeah. He left that out. You know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's like. Yeah.

She doesn't. I don't even know if you have to give her $250,000. He was being nice. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think there was just, he just did it just to keep it out of the media and all that stuff. He told this much later, like on a podcast or something.

Obviously, Michael Jackson had a bunch of, you know, Bubbles the Chimp was very popular. Elvis had a chimp. Tracy Morgan has octopus. I like thatimp. Tracy Morgan has an octopus. I like that. I don't like an octopus. That's probably my least favorite animal. His octopus. It's in an aquarium.

No, I have. Oh, yeah. He doesn't hang out with it on the couch. I know it's in water. But they, I don't like them at all, dude. Why? They're very smart. I don't like that they have beaks.

I don't like that you can put them in a jar and they can open the jar. I don't like that they have beaks. I don't like that you can put them in a jar and they can open the jar. I don't like any of that. From the inside. I don't like that they can fit through a keyhole. I don't like that at all. That's scary. Yeah, dude. Yeah. I would never bring one into the house.

Because it could get... You'd have to be like Fort Knox. How smart would an animal have to be before it becomes uncomfortable that you have one in your house? Like an octopus is near, as close to near human intelligence as we can get, basically. It's like having a gorilla in your house. Do you think an animal's ever had another animal as a pet? Not that, I mean, have we seen examples of that in nature? There was a couple they thought coco

the monkey yeah i think it was actually gorilla but um it it had like uh some type of pet for a what kind of pet it kind of was it was like a ferret or something and just kept it around it yeah i think it ended up killing it but it's yeah it's tough yeah it's tough they don't get it they don't completely they don't they get it they get it as much as you think they're going to get it and one day they they sit on it yeah he doesn't yeah is what it is yeah all right that's a pretty good spot yeah that was fun yeah uh all right everybody uh i forgot i'm in erie pennsylvania uh cleveland this week uh are you in cleveland no oh are you in erie no uh might be somewhere else it did seem like you're like oh i'm gonna be there too i'm

saying those are fun places yeah uh yeah good uh yeah i'm excited uh yeah all right so cleveland cleveland erie uh so it'll be a good time mike vick Jones with me nice gary veder lachlan patterson and we're having julian uh mccall has been hosting the show which we have it's really been great it's uh it like is a fun sets the tone and it's, it's, it's a nice sets up for the nice evening that, you know, everybody's very funny. Everybody does just trying to have a wonderful,

pleasant, give you the most pleasant night we could give you. Awesome. This Saturday, I will be at Studio Theater in Little Rock, Arkansas. I think it's the first time I've ever even performed in Arkansas. All right.

The whole state. I think I did maybe a casino in West Memphis, Arkansas. There's not a ton of comedy there. So, yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Nice, man. This weekend, I'm going international, baby. I'm going worldwide. I'm going global.

I'm going to Edmonton, Alberta, the West Edmonton wall, the comic strip. I'm there all weekend. I love that. Ticket sales are okay. I'm there all weekend. I love that. Ticket sales are okay. I've been there. They're not unbelievable. The club's probably not as pumped as I am, but it looks like all the shows are going to be good.

Yeah. So I'm very excited about it. That's good. One time I was downtown Edmonton. I went to a place, I think it was called Meat, and I had the best brisket I've ever had. Meat? I think it's what it was called.

Meat was written on the side. It might have a better name, but if you see it, it'll say Meat, the best brisket I've ever had. It was called Open. It's so good. All right. I'll check that out. It's so good. Yeah.

I'll look it up. Meat's not a bad name, though. I like it. It's very clear what they do. Yeah. I think what we did was we did each fork full, put a little meat, pickle, a little mustard, and it is so good. Wow. I'll check it out.

I'll be in Chattanooga this weekend. I think the show is very close to being sold out. I think there's only single seats available. Wow. And then on Saturday, I'll be in Bowling Green at the Sky Pack, which I am, I don't believe I'm close to selling that one out, but it is a much larger theater. So like 1600 seats. So I've never done a show in Bowling Green. Bowling Green's not the easiest market. Yeah.

It's, it's, uh, I'm not with school there and then, but Bowling Green's not the easiest market. It doesn't, like a Chattanooga or like others, it's just not, you know. I've never done a show there at all. Yeah. I've asked them many times. Yeah, I just don't think they, like, it's, that's a town that's probably, I mean, I was there for Western for my semester. I love Bowling Green. But it was the, but I just, I don't think it's, it's, I mean, I think it's getting there, but. I love Bowling Green. Yeah. But it was the, but I just,

I don't think it's, it's, I mean, I think it's getting there, but. I'm excited about it. I'm pumped about both shows. So it's going to be great.

Yeah. All right. All right. Well, we love you. We hope you have a great week. We're here next week, right?

Yep. So we will all see you next week. All right. Bye. week, right? Yep. So we will all see you next week. All right. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land podcast