The Nateland Podcast - 187: #187 Fool Me Once, Farming, & Stand-Up Comedy
Episode Date: February 14, 2024This week, the guys are back together so that means staying on topic rarely happens. Nate shares why he loves standup comedy but has issues with the Netflix series Fool Me Once and the guys do a littl...e talking about farming. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ZocDoc: Zocdoc.com/Nate Go to Zocdoc.com/NATE and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. AG1: drinkAG1.com/Nate Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkAG1.com/NATE. Vuori Clothing: Vuori.com/Nate For our listeners they are offering 20% off your first purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at vuori.com/NATE. Helix Sleep: HelixSleep.com/Nate Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/Nate and use code HELIXPARTNER20. This is their best offer yet and it won’t last long!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello folks and hey bear welcome to the Nate land podcast I'm Nate Bargatze we got everybody back
everybody's back Aaron wherever dusty slay everybodyaying I missed you guys Back in the game
I feel like I haven't seen y'all in forever
Yeah, I missed you too
I missed you guys
You guys couldn't take the heat
From all the blowback
About the one hour episode
That's right, it was fun to start a controversy
And then just leave for a week
And let y'all deal with it.
Do you know we're back to two hours?
I do know that, yeah.
I didn't really tell you.
Dusty called me furious.
Oh, I figured.
Dusty wants to give you three.
Yeah, I want to get in-depth there.
We could leave and then let you go.
And then there's the Dusty hour where everybody leaves
and Dust dusty just stays
all bets are off.
I'd like to talk for an hour about this Superbowl halftime show.
Yeah.
I mean,
I mean,
I could get into it,
but yeah,
no,
I was fine.
Yeah.
No sponsors on the dusty hour.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But we,
you'd have to even,
when we get done,
go,
whatever happens after this does not represent anything.
A disclaimer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like that.
It's on the screen the whole time.
It's like an overnight, like a midnight hour type thing.
Yeah.
Yeah, I like that.
Take some calls.
Yeah.
Get real weird with it.
We say you didn't like the-
No, I used to be.
I feel like they've gotten real tame now.
But for a few years, it really seemed like some kind of ritual was going on on the halftime shows.
But I think people have kind of caught on to it now.
So now it's much more subtle type things.
But I don't feel like, you know, I'm not like an Usher fan.
I mean, I was in 2003, you know, and I'm not hating on him.
That was a great year for him.
Yeah.
I'm happy he's having a real resurgence, I guess.
Yeah.
I don't know.
And it was nice to see Lil Jon.
Ludacris was fun.
Ludacris too, yeah.
I mean, I don't understand why Ludacris wasn't the whole halftime show.
Yeah, I like Ludacris a lot.
He's just very fun and he has a lot of songs.
Yeah, I thought it was – I didn't think, you know what's funny?
The camera shots I didn't think were good.
They never showed it from a big scope, really.
It was all kind of like just right up on the person that was singing.
And you would see a lot of stuff going on behind them.
But they never like showed, you know, I feel like when they did that one with Eminem,
like you saw some big scope of, you know, was a big big thing yeah and this one felt like unless when they when they went on that stage
and they zoomed out to show you the that stage was cool that was circle yeah but i thought it
was just like it just felt like like you know it felt like an old person taking a picture where you
go well you're not getting everybody in there. That's what it felt like, which could be perfect.
I mean, Usher might be.
How old is he?
Is he my age maybe?
I don't know that we really needed the whole Usher taking his shirt off mid thing.
It's like, who's that for?
He's 45 years old.
Your age.
You're younger.
Who's that for?
I mean, I'm a year younger.
The Taylor Swift fans tuning in?
Who is that for?
Are you talking about Usher taking his shirt off?
Yeah.
No.
That was for a lot of people.
Yeah, I don't know.
I do.
I'm just going to throw it out there.
Not everyone was upset by it.
Yeah.
I don't think his...
I mean, his one song that I liked,
You Got It Bad. You remember that song?
That was a hot song.
And I felt like his version, and I'm sure it's hard to sing on the football in a football stadium.
But what he did last night was not a good representation of a hot song.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, it was in Vegas.
I mean, I think it was just like a different vibe.
I don't know if Vegas is the best vibe for a Super Bowl.
I feel like Vegas feels like it's the best for a lot of stuff,
but it's kind of its own thing that you're like,
you don't need everything to be there.
What's the perfect setting, you think?
I just think Vegas is too big.
Vegas is making a big –
I mean, they're trying to have –
they have the Raiders there,
and they have just so much stuff going on now, and they have so many shows.
It's just everything's big, so the parties are big.
It gets real – if you get tickets, tickets were –
the cheapest ticket was like $10,000 or something, $9,000 to go sit in there.
And I just think Vegas is like – they got their own, like, just be Vegas.
Be Vegas to the world.
You don't need to be Vegas.
You know, just be, we're Las Vegas.
I don't, you don't need another, you know, the Super Bowl is its own Las Vegas.
In a craziness.
It's like putting a hat on a hat.
Yeah.
So then you're going to go put it into like, you know, a town that's like, we're already ramped up to 50. Yeah. So then you're going to go put it into like, you know, a town that's like, we're already ramped up to 50.
Yeah.
And then you're like, well, what are we going to do? We're ramping up.
Like you need to, that's why when it goes to like, you know, just not the main, not Vegas, the other cities are like, oh yeah, well, we get to have this big event and it's a big thing.
It always seems like it's the same people in a touristy city.
It's like a video game simulation where we're like, oh, we need tourists here.
And then you place them there and they're the same.
The first time I went to Vegas, I was like, oh, this is the same people that I used to see at Gatlinburg.
I mean, it just seems like the exact same people walking around.
Every tourist place, it's like you just click
and drag them to a new setting airbrush t-shirts yeah i mean matching fanny packs i never saw more
seat belt extenders on a plane than leaving vegas i mean it was i mean i was they run out people got
into it out here you know they run out like i mean aaron asked for one they're like come on man not today they go not today
look around yeah suck in buddy yeah yeah look around slim
yeah it i had a taxi driver tell me that it was better when the mafia used to run
vegas he said it was more fun back then i think everything was more fun back then that's what i would like to i think everything
you know they go it was all i saw a video today or something about they interviewing like kids
from the 60s or 50s or and they're like what do you think it's going to be i don't know if i
believe this it was like was it going to be in the future and they're like i feel like it'll be
you know, everybody,
no one talks to anybody or all this stuff.
No one has a connection with anybody.
And I don't think it'll be very fun for the future.
But now that I say this out loud and look back, you're like,
why would these elementary kids know what the future was going to be in the 50s?
So now I don't even believe that video.
Oh, yeah.
And I did believe it enough to bring it up one second ago.
Sometimes you got to just say stuff.
Say it out loud.
Once you say it out loud,
you go like, oh, what?
What am I saying?
Asking kids in the 50s?
Yeah.
That's interesting.
But it could be fake too.
I don't believe anything.
Yeah, everything could be AI now.
Yeah.
Like we can create AI stuff that looks pretty good.
So what can they really do with it?
Well, they could have, yeah.
You know what I mean?
They always say that the government has technology, you know, like seven years ahead of us.
Like when we get it, they've had it for seven years already.
So it's already better what they have.
We're like a third world country to our own stuff we make.
Yes.
We get it when it's already like, we're not using that.
Exactly. That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
They throw it down to, I mean, we could be eating AI food out here. Who knows?
They have said that they're now approved to-
AI generated, maybe?
To serve lab-grown chicken and meat to us.
Oh, yeah.
Although that's AI, though.
Well, you know, artificial, though.
Yeah, yeah, A.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can find a word for the I in that, though.
You had a few things to get off your chest.
I feel like you've been locked up in a closet for a week and a half.
I've been in L.A. doing podcasts where I couldn't say a lot of this stuff.
Yeah.
This is the podcast you can really let loose.
You had to go with the flow in L.A.
Yeah.
I just had to be cool.
I had to play it cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We were – so we had a good – Bates was out this week, and we had a fun week. We did. We were in we had a good Bates was out this week
And we had a fun week
We did
We were in Madison, Wisconsin
Omaha, Nebraska
And then Kansas City
The night before the Super Bowl
The heart of America, dude
Yeah
I heard that show got canceled
Yeah
Yeah, our buddy John Reed
He was trying to do a joke
And say like my show was canceled So come to his show, he was trying to do a joke and say, like, my show was canceled, so come to his show.
Because he was in Kansas City.
So was Vecchione.
Vecchione was at the other club in Kansas City.
And so, yeah, then he went and he was trying to be funny and posted something canceled.
And I was sick.
And I wasn't.
But the venue, I think, found out.
I think a few people got mad.
When they introduced me, I would get such a pop that Nate was having a hard time following me.
I mean, he would eventually get them.
I thought it was his knee.
He thought gunshot went off.
Nope, nope.
It's just his joints.
Don't mic those knees.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Somebody did come, more than one, like, wow, he went up those steps better than I expected.
Oh, my God.
Well, we don't have a...
Yeah, because there's no railing.
I know.
That's tough.
Look, I didn't even... I wasn't offended by the comment.
I went out better than I expected.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, when there's no rail, like, yeah, we might have, should have put a railing there.
Yeah.
We have to have something, you know, or someone could lead you up.
Maybe we have a woman.
Maybe we have a woman do it.
A woman stands there and holds your hand as you go.
Or I take her arm.
Yeah.
She leads me up. What would you do if you fell going up the stairs? Like, what would your recovery be? I think about it. A woman stands there and holds your hand as you go up. Or I take her arm. She leads me up.
What would you do if you fell going up the stairs?
What would your recovery be?
I think about it all the time.
About six to eight months.
Yeah, at least.
I look to see if they started the clock yet.
I crawl up and I got 30 seconds left.
Nate's like, wrap it up!
I would think that if you fell, your adrenaline would get you.
But then it would be, when we saw Bates later, it would be.
Oh, once it wore off.
It'd be tough.
I'd go straight to the bus.
Yeah, yeah.
We'd have to keep an eye on him.
We played basketball two straight days.
Yeah.
We did a lot of activity.
Every place
was awesome. Omaha had this great
backstage area. You were inside
and we played basketball.
We
played
three on three. Team one, I got
blocked by baits.
What?
I do.
I was in his area by doing an underhand shot so i'm low and so one of my one of my moves my go-to moves is you go to do a layup
and i'll go you know because the person's hand up i'll go under sure well he caught on to it
and then boom smacked it brian just hadn't gotten up there yet.
You're just too slow on the initial move.
You know, I'm taking the balls down in his village at the bottom.
And then, so, you go, yeah, it's going to get knocked out.
With moves like that, you would think that you would have said basketball player
instead of soccer player when blending in another sport.
Yeah, I mean, you're right.
I guess I'm just good at everything.
We watched him play basketball though.
It'd be tough.
Yeah.
To blend in.
Good dribbler.
Uh,
you know,
looks at the ball the whole time.
Yeah.
Like Stanley from the office.
Yeah.
No,
he does.
He played good.
I mean,
he,
yeah.
Bates did good.
He made some shots and lit it up.
He's a quick release,
quick release,
deceptively athletic.
Yeah.
Like you can tell that you're, yeah.
You're like, yeah, this guy was a, you know, a decent athlete in the fifties.
Did you do shirts versus skins?
And then I think, yeah, he goes for that when he, uh, you know, he was playing basketball
and the real hussier team was playing.
He goes, yeah.
So he was for Lebanon.
Isn't that a pretty decent little athlete right there?
Four corners.
Yeah.
Off his.
Just ran it out.
Yeah, for a team that just runs the clock out.
I watched a girls basketball team once do that.
They ran the whole like fourth, third quarter, fourth quarter.
They just dribbled over the line and then just the girl dribbled.
And it was.
Because there's no shot clock.
There's no shot clock.
And then they stand back and there was no guard.
It was younger.
But it was, I mean, it was, I want to say it was junior varsity maybe
or something or, and they just dribbled.
And you just sit there and, I mean, it's one of those that you're like,
I can't even believe I'm watching this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why wouldn't they put somebody on her to make her get a five second call I think if a team
is doing that the other team's probably they're not playing a team that can they're they're probably
like we'll take the break yeah we're trying to get out of here anyway our parents are making us do
this yeah I think yeah everybody wanted to leave we had family family friends that were softball coaches, and he used to have
a hand sign
to tell his players to tie
their shoes just to run the clock
out. And you could eat like
20 minutes off
just people tying their shoes.
Softball? Yeah.
With the children's leagues, they have a hard cut
a lot of times, and there's a time limit.
Just tie your shoes, take as much time as you need.
I kind of like gamesmanship like that.
You would think if there were some post-game press conferences for those.
The kids love them.
Yeah.
They would go.
Well, you want to just let them play, though.
Yeah.
You want to get the win.
If you're winning and you've got like 15 minutes left,
let's eat a little bit of this clock, dude.
Yeah.
You don't respect that at all?
I didn't hear what you said, Dustin. It's gone. The moment's the moment's gone yeah yeah i'm sure it was great though it was it was uh
you guys messed up yeah i think people heard it you guys messed up it was gonna be good people
that were it's fine guys i mean you know what i mean we're having a good time here yeah uh yeah
your netflix special is hot so we gotta got to knock you down a little bit.
That's right.
You've been on a, the West coast tear.
That's right.
It is hot.
Nationwide press tour out here.
Yeah.
You won after midnight.
I did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's very cool.
After midnight.
Yeah.
Congrats on that.
Yeah.
I mean, I rocked it.
It was awesome.
Welcome back to reality.
Yeah.
It was good.
I had a hot run out there.
I did a Neil Brennan's podcast.
I don't think it's out yet.
Blocks.
Yeah, yeah.
I did Adam Carolla's podcast.
Nice.
It was fun.
I did Fortune, Feimster, Tom Papa.
There you go.
It was great.
Netflix Radio.
Netflix Radio.
Right.
Did some SiriusXM radio takeover things.
Oh, okay.
That's fun.
And then I won after midnight. Did you do after midnight no i i was only there two days
and i don't really want to do spots i'm like i'm about to go to milwaukee and do five hours of
comedy i'm good on the spot is that one show yeah yeah theater show well yeah i mean if you really
break it down it was probably more like six hours.
It gets a little long.
Who were you with?
Sarah Tiana?
Sarah Tiana and London.
I don't remember her last name right now, but those are very funny.
London Bridge?
Yeah.
London Bridge is falling down. Are you wearing the same thing you're wearing right now?
Different hat, I think.
Different hat.
She's wearing a darn hard hat.
I think it was a bit of a
different shirt same color yeah same idea yeah i mean every day it's the same idea
everything's the same yeah yeah i got my i didn't get my dale earnhardt hat approved though
that was exciting you got it approved oh yeah well it's a big problem you know
most of the time i wear my own hat if i do tv things because it's my design so it's approved
to wear but this was such a homemade hat that they were like yeah there's no copyright on this
oh yeah this is dale earnhardt seven-time champion this is like miss america where
they're about to announce the winner.
Yeah.
It looks like you and Sarah.
This looks like Duck Dynasty where the guy's got a billion dollars,
so you got a girl like that.
And you're like, I don't feel like.
And then you hear Sarah talk.
She's super sub into it.
You're like, all right, well, it makes a little more sense.
She's country than me.
I know.
She is.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know.
In accent. Oh, sure. In accent. I mean, yeah. Well, I don't know.
In accent.
Oh, sure.
In accent. Accent wise.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Y'all two up there together.
You know, and then we had a British girl and they say British is like a, you know, like
Southern accent is like a slowed down British accent.
So it's really just a.
Did you try that out in real time talking to her?
No, I don't know how to do any accents, but, uh, I did say that a couple of times to people.
Yeah.
That was a joke.
I, I did a couple of times.
Yeah.
People enjoyed it.
If I get a joke that works at a party or something, I'll do it.
I'll circulate it.
Yeah.
I'll do it a couple of times.
Yeah.
And then everybody said, did you hear about that?
Do you hear the dusty?
Yeah.
And then once I've touched everybody, I out of there that's it when i show this how much
steak do you think you could eat in one setting could eat or like one of those one of those
contests where like you eat this much not as much as you think i mean uh two pounds is that a lot
i would say ounces so be. I could do the math.
That's 32 ounces, right?
32 ounces.
Is that about?
That's about.
I don't know.
That's a lot of meat.
College ruins everything, dude.
What are you talking about?
That's a college answer.
You go two pounds.
No one even, just say three.
I never even understand it when they go, when I go to the deli and they're like, you want a pound of meat?
I go, I don't know what you mean.
But sure, I've walked out with a pound and a half of meat because I don't know what, I don't know how to break it down.
Look, and that's on me.
But I'm saying in this game, we're trying to ask, it's a regular person asking, we're asking you to come down to our level.
Okay.
I'll try.
But I think weight is not not the question here
you should go for like surface area there isn't like a 32 ounce steak that's like at restaurants
and it's yeah yeah if you order steak okay i think so right yeah three of those three 32 ounce
steaks yeah so 96 ounces that's a big difference the old 96er. You said not as much as you would think.
That's more than I thought, to be honest with you.
Well, the old 96er is the great outdoors.
Yeah.
I was thinking 150, so he was right.
Because if we get the gristle down, can we get some hats for the kids?
If John Candy can't do it, I don't know.
He did do it.
Did he?
He walked up, the shirt's laying on his body.
But didn't they say that- No, you got to eat the gristle and the fat. Did he do it? Yeah his body. But didn't they say...
No, you got to eat the gristle and the fat.
Did he do it?
Yeah.
I thought he didn't do it. And then Dan Aykroyd, maybe he says, I think he says something,
he goes, I get dessert down them when you throw in some hats for the kids.
Oh, yeah.
A dessert down them.
Yeah, so like 96 ounces.
I mean, what's the question?
If I had to
like if it was one of those contests where you get free yeah yeah well our buddy michael clay
came along with us this weekend on the trip and i think i sent you a couple pics of this
uh somehow you did not um somehow um oh he did yeah brian i gotta dude brian brian's like he'll find a way to send me like a 100 by 200 version of
can you ever get a full-size resolution photo i don't i think no well i mean it's just pictures
taken by people's phones i know but why don't you can find like the real text them
i could be better i just thought
with this computer email would with my computer i can somehow generate a higher quality version
of an image that's already been corrupted now i'm just asking about all right i'll start texting
them to you then yes that's all you gotta do yeah all right i'm sorry these guys have though
michael clay that's i like his hat look at that guy. He looks like my uncle.
We're good for sure.
He's like, you pull this image up and the image is the size of a postage
stamp, so I'm zoomed in
500 times, so it's just
not a good quality photo. And that's on me.
No, I mean, I'm
alright with it. We gotta hash this out ahead
of time. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry
everybody had to peek behind the curtains here.
He's three quarters of his life before computers are born.
And you want to make him.
What are you, out of your mind?
But every time, like, I sent you.
No, you didn't.
Oh, yeah.
You did, actually.
You didn't send an email.
You're lucky you got an email.
Well, there's one photo.
There's no subject.
Nothing was written in the email.
What do you expect that picture to be?
That kind of is on you.
Justin's peeping
over his shoulder like,
I wish I'd have got that.
You're mad at a time machine
for not sending you
a good picture.
Well, there's two photos
labeled steak eating contest.
We don't know where
that other one is.
There's Michael.
So Michael,
Michael Clay, me and him moved to Chicago together from our water meter reading jobs at West Wilson.
And so we went from Chicago.
We moved from Nashville to Chicago to start comedy.
So me and him lived there for two years.
And we did some second city classes.
I did for just eight weeks or something.
And then I started with my stand-up classes, then stand-up.
He did like a year course at Second City.
So Michael comes on the road with us.
And so the original idea of this bet was because a long time ago,
when we were in Chicago back, you know, we have no money.
We're waiting tables.
But it was like our birthdays
or something and so we go eat at this restaurant and i would say it's me him i want to say our
buddy john that we also live with i'm not positive uh but uh so we have a steak we have like he eats
like a 30 do you remember like do you remember him the ounces he said like
20 years ago yeah uh i thought it was 40 something yeah so so how many pounds is that
yeah a little over two pounds yeah oh is it two and a half maybe uh so uh yeah it was like 40
something ounce or whatever but he ate a potato he had salad like he had oatmeal and he goes i
could eat a steak so back then you know we're 24 years old we're like well if you can eat another steak
if you eat it we'll pay for it but if you don't eat it you got to pay for it and so he goes all
right i'll do it so then he gets another steak and yeah so it's going to be ended up being he's
already had so much other stuff and so it's going to end up being like 40 something ounces and uh
he gets to the last bite and he can't do it.
It literally,
I mean,
the last bite couldn't,
I mean,
he was like,
I'm going to throw up if it goes,
I cannot make it.
If he'd have thrown up without it made the whole thing invalid.
Yeah.
So keeping it down was part of the,
yeah.
Also,
you just don't want to throw up in the middle of a restaurant.
Yeah.
Right.
For a free steak.
I don't know.
So what we did was we,
uh, normally he was, he would have had to pay for it, but we just all split that extra steak.
Just because he did get it, basically get it all down.
Yeah.
So cut to 20 years.
Now we're back at it.
And I'm telling that story, this steak, this is in Madison.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, great. Tornado. that story this steak this is in uh madison uh yeah yeah yeah great uh tornado the yeah
tornado steakhouse yeah they had a tornado that night yeah yeah yeah tornado steakhouse and so uh
yeah so we he eats i ordered a steak that was like a 30 or 28 ounce ribeye. And it was enormous.
So when I get there and I get it.
So, I mean, I eat a barely little bit.
I shouldn't have ordered that big of a steak.
He had a 20 ounce steak, I think.
Right.
And so he had a 20 ounce steak.
And then I was like, you think you could eat this one?
And so I kind of bring that up.
And then so we handed my steak.
And so now he's eating probably a good 45 ounces of steak.
And bets were made.
And he had the sides already, and he had all that stuff.
So bets were made if he could make it or if he could do it or not do it.
And he did it.
Yeah.
He did it.
I won.
Me and Bates, I won too.
Oh, wow. You bet on him. You said he could do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys got a real gambling problem, it sounds like. it. Yeah. He did it. I won. Me and Bates, I won too. Oh, wow.
You bet on him.
You said he could do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You guys got a real gambling problem, sounds like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not if you win.
Yeah, that's true.
Which I did.
It's only a problem if you lose.
Yeah.
Yeah, me and Brian bet on him to win, and then everybody, yeah.
So it was fun.
Yeah.
He was, yeah. Did he was fun. Yeah. He was,
did he eat that hamburger there with the sauce there?
Yeah. No,
they brought that out too.
But I mean,
man,
it was,
I love a French dip.
It was a lot of food.
It was a lot.
It was a very fun night though.
Cause it was like,
we were just all sort of arguing what's left on the bone.
And like,
it's just a very,
it was a very fun,
uh,
fun night.
Yeah.
You eat that much steak.
You're going to need a doctor.
Maybe Zoc doc.
Oh man.
That was good.
Thank you to Zoc doc.
We can now find a book in person or telemedicine appointments for medical or
dental care.
That is helpful for people that are on the go or work different hours.
Like we do.
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highly rated images. This is a photo
that Pimp took.
So it's unbelievable quality.
But what I was sent
was, I mean, this is a
82 kilobyte. I mean, this
could not be a smaller image.
So I don't know what happened along the way.
How many pounds is a kilobyte?
Where did you get that picture from?
I took it.
Wait.
No, this is a picture by Mike Lavin.
It says it right here.
Oh, okay.
There were some I took, but I guess I just sent you the ones Mike.
But when you scan it, I mean, when you send it, what happens?
It shrinks it?
Did you take a screenshot of it on your phone and then email it to me?
I don't remember.
Okay.
Well, that doesn't help.
It's okay. We'll figure it to me? I don't remember. Okay. Well, that doesn't help. I would argue maybe bring it up sometime before episode 190, not while we're on the podcast.
Yeah, I don't know.
I thought it might be funny.
It's been building up for 190 episodes.
I thought the quality.
I was trying to throw you a bone, and you're like, you don't even know how you sent it.
You don't recall any of this, and you're like, well, I know, but I don't know what to tell you, bro.
I also think the quality.
I don't recall this dinner.
We really need a high def.
You think this quality looks great?
Well, what do we need?
We really need a high def of this guy cutting a steak here.
I mean, yeah, this is a high production quality podcast.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess so.
I mean, yeah, we put it all out there.
I can tell that's a French dip.
It looks like he's got kind of an old telephone.
The issue is not can you tell what it is.
It's just if we have a high quality.
Look, when you carry this podcast like I do, I can't remember everything.
You three bring nothing to the table.
So I'm not going to remember everything.
I'm kind of the only one defending you here.
I don't know why you're.
You're right.
You're right.
The new Beyonce song.
The Beyonce song that came out last night in the Super Bowl
looked at the writer's credits written by Beyonce and Brian Bates.
Did you see that?
Did anybody tag in that?
No.
Evidently, there's a songwriter named Brian Bates,
and he's writing songs with Beyonce.
But when you click on the info for a Beyonce song,
that's not what you expect to see.
Yeah.
It's written by Brian Bates.
So yet another Brian Bates doing better than I am.
Well, I think only one can make it.
Well, there's a few out there fighting for the title because, as I've said before,
I get Google alerts every day about Brian Bates
and they're all doing a lot better than I am.
You ever see the movie with Jet Li called The One?
No.
It's like where there are lots of different universes of you in it
and then this one guy is going around
and he's going to all the universes,
killing the other version of himself.
And then each time he do,
the others get a little more powerful.
Oh, that's what Brian needs to do.
Yeah.
Is it fun?
It is fun.
Yeah.
I mean, it's violent, but it is a fun movie.
Yeah.
Jet Li is awesome.
Yeah.
If you watch that tonight, I will be furious.
Wow.
You just start watching all these other movies based on just that flimsy recommendation.
It's great, though.
I've been hyping up the greatest movie of all time for three years now.
I know, but it's a whole thing.
It's not that big of a thing, dude.
You gave me a big thing, and that seemed like a fun.
It's a loose, fun, easy watch.
Yeah.
Not a lot of.
Okay, that's,awshank is not that
now that's what i mean it's like i i'm not looking to write a history book shawshank can leave you
being like jeez i mean it's good yeah there's a lot going on yeah you gotta leave i'm watching
this show on netflix called fool me once just because they said, well, 37 million people watch it.
I go, all right.
And I don't think I –
That's all it took, 37 million people watching it?
Yeah, I thought, well, let me give it a go.
Now I've got to see the end because it's all changing,
but it doesn't make sense.
What if nobody's watching it, really?
They fooled you.
They might have.
I think that.
As I watch it, I think that.
Well, my Netflix came out.
It was a British show.
It was number two, and number one was Fool Me Once.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What did you call it?
Fool Me Once.
Yeah.
Fool Me Once?
Fool Me Once.
And then, yeah, so it was, yeah, that girl, Michelle Keegan.
So the thing, the hard part to get she's great
uh yes look at that 84 million it is the ninth most viewed netflix series of all time yeah i
don't know how like i mean it's it's a very much like i would it's a very much you don't know
what's going on and then a lot of stuff happens where you're like, well, what is going to happen here?
So it's great at like –
I feel like it's a simplistic thing to keep you –
every end of the episode, you're like,
well, now I got to see what the next –
A cliffhanger at the end of every –
Yeah, yeah, but they do good.
They do good with that.
But the problem is that Michelle, the main woman,
I mean, that plays plays my stern she's
i mean does it show how tall she is or something there i wonder um she probably has to be 5 4
120 pounds and she's like uh jack reacher like she's just beating people up in the
just like and she just talks to her uh-in-law, like gets frustrated once.
She's like, oh, give it up.
Give it a break.
Her brother-in-law's 6'4", 210.
And her brother-in-law, she goes, give it a break.
I'll put you on the floor in two seconds.
And he's like, you better not.
And he just goes forward and she twists his hand and he goes to the ground.
He's like, oh, all right.
Leave me alone.
That's where they get the title from.
Yeah, maybe.
Before he wants.
Yeah.
Maybe that will come at it.
I'm not saying I don't like it.
It's very kind of crazy when you're watching it.
You're going like, I'm watching this tiny, tiny girl.
I mean, she talks to giant dudes like they are bumps. It's exactly like Jack Reacher.
But Jack Reacher is-
Believable.
Six, five, six, six.
But Tom Cruise was short. People didn't like that in the movie. That's what they said. And
they actually messed up. I didn't know that till after, but they didn't like that because the point
of Jack Reacher is like, you are big.
Tom Cruise is, you wouldn't think that.
He was a great.
But he was a great, yeah.
He was a great Jack Reacher. Is he short in the movie or do they trick with the camera?
I don't know if you know.
Yeah.
Tom Cruise, no one's ever really above Tom, like in their height wise.
You never see them.
They do it where you could be like who knows how tall
he is in this movie i know he's not tall but everybody's his height really so it doesn't
really you know and so i get it i mean that makes sense you know it's like what's the difference of
but it just it's so it's hard for me to take the like i and i don't you know but i have a hard time
i mean she just that guy was, he's drunk.
I mean, it's all the things that are maybe not there.
I think he was, you know, he drank a little bit.
I mean, a big, big guy.
And she's like, I'll put you down the ground.
And then she just like twist his hand and he goes to the ground.
He's like, Oh, and he's like, all right.
All right.
But also if like, he knows, he knows this woman, if he knows this woman and he knows she has this superpower, then he wouldn't be lunging for her.
Yeah.
It's all pretty unrealistic.
He wasn't lunging.
He was trying to grab something back.
But then she hits another guy, this other cop.
This dude, again, is 6' six four and this dude is looks i mean
he's got a suit on but he is looks jacked yeah and uh she like he like kind of touches her not
even crazy just touches her a little which maybe this all adds up i'm saying this maybe this is all
going to play into touches her a little bit and then she just hits him in the chest and he's like,
Oh,
and yet like I get,
and then she walks by him and he like kind of flinches and you're like,
you're,
I mean,
you're like three times her.
Yeah.
Maybe she's a superhero.
Maybe that'll be revealed in the end.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Then it'll be good.
No,
I,
I,
I've been,
it's,
I mean,
it's definitely,
it feels like uh kind of
trashy tv like uh you know okay i think like where it's uh yeah not saying that i'm not trying to be
yeah is is you know it feels like just something yeah you would be it does feel like a british
tell it is british so
everybody's british feels a little british a little too british so everybody's british feels a little british a little too
british because everybody's british and a little trash maybe it is because everybody talks british
then you're also like you like that yeah and then you're you know all right did you have anything
oh i've already covered mine yeah i haven't been here a while i was in chicago i had a great
weekend in chicago Added a show,
which I've never
really had to do
before.
Pretty cool.
Three shows in one day,
which is pretty exhausting.
Feels dumb to say,
but yeah,
thank you to everyone
that came out to Chicago.
And then I was at Dayton
this weekend.
It was great.
So thank you to everybody.
All right.
Yeah.
I just did Milwaukee
at the Improv
and four of the five shows sold out.
Last time I was there with you,
with you.
Um,
yeah,
we weren't anywhere close to that.
And,
uh,
a few years back.
So it was awesome.
Great time.
All right.
We call those shows open mics.
Yeah.
Good for you guys.
Yeah.
We're trying out stuff out here
working it out
we're trying
uh
start with you guys
comments
Damien HBC
I have to admit
I was one of the people
that commented
in a negative way
about the last podcast
and to see
Nate address
and fix the issue
is truly great
I apologize
and admit
I was too quick to judge
thank you so much
for the long format
again gentlemen and God bless thanks yeah no problem Damien Truly great. I apologize and admit I was too quick to judge. Thank you so much for the long format again, gentlemen.
And God bless.
Thanks.
Yeah, no problem, Damien.
Anything for you, bud.
He went too far, though.
He brought your mom into it.
I mean, it was out of hand.
I feel like you're feisty something today, too.
What?
I feel like this corner should be in trouble.
We're going to have to work through some negative energy over here.
You do sell out arena shows, you know.
A little feisty.
Ego.
That's what I just hit.
This is very funny.
Yeah, so someone, Katie Stuns, made this shirt for us.
And I survived the hour of the Nightland podcast.
January 24, 2024 to February 7, 2024.
Very funny. That was a wild time.
That's a great shirt.
Yeah.
I did have a lot of people after the shows
this weekend tell me they're like,
you know, I'm a mailman or I work a job.
Like, I'm happy it's going to be longer
because I just listened to it.
Hope
or Sini?
No.
No, I just think that's funny.
That's all.
I just think it's funny.
Is that a mailman?
No, no.
Just, I don't know.
All mailmen.
Yeah.
This was real tragic for people.
People were on suicide watch for a minute when you're thinking about it.
And it never was an hour.
I don't think we ever did an hour podcast.
I think the shortest
we ever got was an hour and a half.
Hour 14.
Hour 14.
I think it was just people
trying to be nice to us and
compliment us.
Maybe there is a thing.
Don't do 200 episodes and then go I'm going to change it all to an hour. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, you know, maybe there is a thing. Don't do 200 episodes and then go, I'm going to change it all to an hour.
You know, I learned something.
Hope we're seeing.
It feels like people came and threatened your life in a way.
Like you were like, you know what?
We'll do the two.
Yeah.
I think people were, I just thought people were more, they're excited.
You know?
Yeah.
I'm not people were more. They're excited. You know? I'm not.
You know.
Hope Orsini.
Mike's background laughing fits.
I read them like they're all, I think, periods after stuff.
Mike's background laughing fits are incredible and contagious.
Episodes without Aaron are always missing his giggles, but Mike filled that part
perfectly in this one.
There you go.
Mike's great.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Mary Ellen Goodwin.
He is great.
No comment.
I don't know about
Mike's laughing fits.
Yeah, he's fun to get laughing.
Yeah.
He'll get going.
He's fun on the road
because you'll just see him.
He'll lose it.
He'll lose it
and he'll be caught on something.
You don't, like, it's maybe early, and then he's just kind of gone.
Oh, yeah.
And it's fun.
Mary Ellen Goodwin.
Only Nate would say he ate seven donuts out of a dozen and four left.
So, I did eight.
Yep.
Apparently so.
Yeah, a couple of people commented to me about how many donuts you ate.
Eight. Wow. Yeah. In one so. Yeah. A couple of people commented to me about how many donuts you ate. Ate.
Wow.
Yeah.
In one podcast?
Yeah.
Was it a competition or were you just eating while you were going?
No one knew.
No, no one knew.
I just surprised, you know, and gave the people what they want.
Donuts are delicious.
No one still knew.
They're like, I don't understand this part.
No, they did not.
He's eating a lot of donuts.
I'm so new there.
I don't understand this part.
No, they do not.
He's eating a lot of donuts.
In LA, I had some donuts at a place called Sidecar, and I had a couple of old-fashioned donuts.
And I was like, man, I've not eaten a donut in a while.
And I was like, that's a good donut.
What's an old-fashioned donut?
The only other old-fashioned I've had is at Dunkin' Donuts.
Starbucks has one.
Okay.
And it's like a cake.
Like a cake glazed.
Okay. And the Dunkin'. Like a cake glazed. Okay.
And the Dunkin' Donuts is not glazed.
I thought you meant like the drink in old-fashioned.
Oh, no.
A donut of that.
No, no.
It's just like an alcohol.
Yeah.
It's like an old-fashioned.
I think it's like before we started frying them, this was the old-fashioned way.
Okay.
Delicious.
That side card, I mean, it's not out of the realm of possibility they have like an alcoholic confused i bet they do have an alcohol i don't know what are you gonna do
take a shot and then eat the donut or there's like rum inside of it or something you never know dude
i don't they're doing wild stuff with pastry out here doing that It's only been going since 2012.
The world's freshest donuts.
Seems fun, though.
Where is that?
It was in LA next to a Trader Joe's.
Got a few donuts in there and I was tearing it up.
Oh, yeah.
I love a donut.
Yeah.
I like a donut, too.
Would you go in there and sit there and eat alone?
No, no.
I was with someone.
I mean, I would have eaten alone.
I like to do stuff like that alone. It's nice.
I like to sit
alone, look at people.
I love that. Listen to their
conversations. It's so fun.
I'm all about it. I'm all about
being a little bit of a creep.
Justin Gibson.
I love this episode, but it did make me miss Aaron a little bit
when Blue Belt didn't even try to pull up the picture
Justin was talking about.
Or the end of the Super Bowl that the Titans lost.
Yeah, that's fair.
The picture he was talking about was at the first Super Bowl,
the quarterback was smoking a cigarette in the locker room.
That picture rules.
Yeah.
So that's fair.
Aaron's very good.
But I was also trying to... Was that Joe Namath smoking the cigarette? No, this was Lynn
Dawson. Oh, okay. I saw that picture
and for some reason I thought that was Joe Namath.
Same era.
Look at that, dude. The good
old days, huh? That's what I'm saying.
What is he drinking?
That's what half my special is about.
Fresca.
Wow. Drinking just a Coke,
soda, whatever, right?
That's insane, dude.
That is insane.
It's a tough game.
Victoria Brown. Saw Dusty
for the second time this past weekend.
I was at the Friday night
late show in Milwaukee.
It is always a bummer when someone in the audience can't keep it together
and become a prom modesty.
You handled it so well and had the entire club laughing in support.
Love the new hour.
All right.
Thanks, Victoria.
Yeah, I mean, it was just a lady.
She kept, like, commenting a lot, and then I just had to be like,
I just had to, like, really make the lady be quiet.
And then it was fine. But, yeah, it's just like, I don't know. I feel like sometimes people want you to like, cause I was like, Hey, I was basically like, Hey, will you be quiet? And she
was like, I love you. And I was like, well, show me that you love me and stop talking. And I'm like,
I don't, I feel like sometimes they want you to like do crowd work with them and like mess with
them. And I'm like, I don't want to do that.
Yeah.
I'm doing a thing.
Yeah.
Let me do this thing.
Yeah.
I don't want to be mad at you.
I don't want to embarrass you.
I don't want you to all of a sudden get mad and be like, oh, now he's mad at me.
I just want you to just stop talking.
You know, this is about me.
You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, it's like, it is though. It's like know, this is about me. You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I mean,
it's like,
it is though.
It's like,
it's not about me.
It's about the,
all the other people that are in this audience that want to see me.
Yeah.
And this lady's like,
you know,
all drunk,
somehow got up front and I'm sure she's a very nice lady.
She's by herself.
She was with another lady that seemed pretty embarrassed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She was.
And I'm sure deep down that lady that was embarrassed wanted me to roast her friend.
And I'm like, that's not what I do.
Anytime I try to roast people, people are like, oh, that was mean.
Yeah.
And I'm like, oh, okay.
Well, I was trying to
be fun you remember when i was opening for you i feel like you don't show remorse no no i guess
maybe that's it yeah so i'd rather not do it yeah you know it's like a serial killer you're like oh
no i'm gonna kill you i'd rather just not go in your house. Yeah. Because you're like, what happened to you come in here? I'll do what I do.
Exactly.
I'll mean it.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Sorry.
That's good.
I opened for Dusty
once in Minnesota
and this lady came up
to us before the show
and said,
can you make fun
of our friend?
She has really bad skin.
Do you remember that?
Oh, I do remember that.
Rochester, Minnesota.
Yeah, yeah.
She was like,
our friend has horrible skin.
Can you please make fun of her? And Dusty was like, no, I'm not going to Rochester, Minnesota. Yeah, yeah. She was like, our friend has horrible skin. Can you please make fun of her?
And Dustin was like, no.
I'm not going to just make fun of somebody for having acne.
Especially some kind of weird specific thing that you know your friend is probably very self-conscious of.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah, yeah.
But I did notice her, who she was talking about.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, her skin was.
Yeah, it was.
Can you imagine if I just unloaded on this lady's skin? Out of the gates. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, her skin was. It was like. Can you imagine if I just unloaded on this lady's skin?
Out of the gates.
Yeah.
Just come out there.
Oh, my gosh.
Put her in the back.
Yeah.
What's with your skin?
What's up with your skin?
Yeah, that would be.
I think it was her birthday.
And she wanted to, like, make fun of,
just make fun of the birthday girl with the bad skin.
And Dusty was like, it's not really the kind of show I do, just so you know.
Yeah.
I hope that's not anyone's show.
And for the record, that show I was practicing to do a Tonight Show.
So I was doing my first five, which was really good.
Really good.
And then the next 45 was like, okay.
And so it was like that show, each show would start so hot like the audience was
like gearing up for the best show they had ever seen and then after that five it would drop off
yeah pretty hard yeah the up top so tight yeah yeah and i'm pulling chunks out of all my other
good bits so it's like it got weak that. So you can't even go back to it.
Yeah.
Nate Holstein.
Heard Brian talk about asking a stranger about the daycare.
Wanted to ask if the guys have any tips for the new girl dads.
Are things they wish people told them before becoming a parent?
My wife is due with a girl later this year.
It's her first child.
And I'm trying to collect as much input
from experienced dads as I can.
Yeah, I mean, it's the best, man.
It is the best.
It's the greatest thing ever.
We don't do daycare.
It's not really advice.
We're in a good spot.
It's not really advice.
I mean, you know, it's like I never know what to,
what are you going to, you know, it's.
Just do it.
It's your little girl.
Yeah.
Like, it's like you're, it's just going to, she's going to be your little girl.
And it's, you know, I don't know.
For old parents, I'd say get soft floors because we got hardwood floors and it's killing me.
Oh, really?
I can't get up.
You mean you keep dropping your daughter?
Well, I'm on the floor playing with her.
It's killing my knees and I can't get up.
Get soft floors if you drop them a bunch.
He said for old parents, get soft floors because it is.
It's hard to hold a baby.
They're wiggly.
Yeah, that's very, yeah.
Well, that's a good note.
I mean, because we got a lot of carpet and we are on the floor a lot.
And it's, you know, it's very easy.
I mean, I'm not, you know, I'm not even making an age joke.
I'm not the, I mean, I'm not as old as you, but I'm not that far behind you.
It would be, he can't, if you're racing, he can't can't see you but yeah you're not that far behind yeah
uh yeah yeah 20 30 years but uh he's not worried about yeah if you're in a race uh
do you feel like you can be prepared for everything or is there just a moment of
like you got the kid now you're like well well i'm trying to think like you can be prepared for everything or is there just a moment of like, you got the kid now you're like, well, well, I'm trying to think like, you know, uh, yeah, I don't know.
I don't, I don't, I'm not a good advice.
Like, uh, or I don't know.
I don't know what to say.
I can say this for me.
It's like, we don't have a lot of family around.
I mean, my wife's family's in Canada.
My family's in Alabama. And it's like, we just had a
baby and then they just, they made sure we had a car seat and then they just let us go. And then
we just get home and we're like, oh, now we have to just, we have this baby now. We went from being
these like two, you know, childless people in a house where you artists, where we did whatever
we wanted selfishly with all our time. Uh, and we're both pretty independent people. And now
all of a sudden we just have this baby. She keeps waking up in the night. We don't know what's going
on. We don't know how to, we keep calling the doctor all the time going, is this normal? Is
this okay? And then, you know, not to be just too much info on my wife,
but she, you know, we, we were not bottle feeding. And then like, when you've never had a kid,
sometimes the milk doesn't just come. And it was like, we were like, are we starving our baby to
death? What's happening? But it all worked out and it was all so great. And I, it's the best
thing that ever happened. I'm so pumped. So you do have advice. I'm so pumped.
Yeah.
Just like, you know, I mean, you know, don't be afraid to call the doctor, but also.
I never thought I'd hear Dusty say that.
Well, believe me, I did not want to, but it's not myself.
I call, I mean, go to the top window and yell his name out in the field.
And then the largest cow comes over and you talk to it.
But it was very helpful.
I mean, find a doctor that you like.
We did find one that we liked and we trusted and, you know,
and they're out there, you know.
Yeah, I think that it is good advice.
Like that is, you'll be nervous, but everything that you think is like,
well, mine's the only baby that's ever done this.
Every baby has done that.
And that's the hardest part because you're like, are they fine?
And then you're like, yeah, they're fine.
And don't be afraid to.
Because you always worry about if they're cold.
I'd always say that.
And I remember my mom saying, well, are you cold?
And you're like, no.
You're like, they're fine.
And it's also like your kids.
So don't be afraid to make your own call. Like it's like when I was in the hospital, I was like, they wanted to,
I was like, I don't know. I didn't want them to just take my baby away. Like the hospital I was
at, you know, they had like these little things they put around their ankle and it's an identifier.
And, uh, you know, I've read stories where a nurse was like, I swapped out babies,
hundreds of babies. And, you know, and it's like,
that's hundreds. And it's like, yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't, it's like, we all have this idea,
right. That like everybody in the hospital is just angels. And it's like, maybe they all are
right. Most of them are probably all great people, but everywhere you work, there's gotta be one
person that's a little devious. And they're like, And so it's like, I didn't want him to just take my baby away.
Eventually, we're like so sleepy.
We are like, yeah, do take her to the nursery.
I don't know if that's the advice he wanted.
I'm just saying, don't be afraid to not trust your hospital and the people that are.
Exactly.
It's your kid.
I mean, that's, yeah, don't remember.
It's your kid.
It's your kid and your whole life Yeah don't remember It's your kid It's your kid And your whole life
The government does not own that kid
And your whole life
It's your kid
And it's your job to protect them
So
I'd say
You got to take care of yourself
As well as your child
And the best way to do that
Is AG1
Oh yeah
You got to take care of your body
That was good
Taking care of your health
Isn't always easy
But it should at least be simple.
That's why for the last year, we've been drinking AG1 every day.
Just one scoop mixed in water once a day, every day.
And it makes me feel ready to take on the day.
A lot of days, I feel like in this.
That's because each serving of AG1 delivers my daily dose of vitamins, minerals, and probiotics.
That's what they do.
That's what the news people do. They just read the word. They don't even think about what they're reading. Yeah. You probably can't have it really in motion tied to it. Yeah. See, I like to get
into it, but if this is a new- You don't be like, oh my goodness, can you believe this happened?
Like you just need to say it. Yeah. I should have read this one time before just reading it out loud here but i like to i like to try to you know get into it and really try to put some
some love into it when i did uh uh carol sullivan her show the the nashville daytime show did you
just do it recently i think so yeah i when i was sitting with her on the couch she was reading off
the teleprompter there were like four errors in it and she just corrected it on the fly it was
impressive to watch yeah i told her that after they were done that was amazing she's like yeah
yeah i do this every day yeah yeah that's anyway yeah she's great yeah but i mean that's why you
do have to be kind of mentally you got to be thinking was you just got to make sure i'm saying
the words but this was like it was something about a fair and it said circus themed, but it said circle themed.
That's what came up.
She just corrected it to circus.
So you have to have a little context of what you're talking about.
After the broadcast, they were like, it's actually circle themed.
Yeah.
You go, hey, what happened out there?
It's not a circus.
We got a lot of circles.
They don't take it on.
Tina Bletchley.
Bletchley.
Bletchley.
Wow.
Tina Bletchley.
Bletchley.
I love it.
It's Bleckle.
Bleckle.
Tina Bleckle.
That's probably better.
Bleckle.
None of these are good.
What would you say?
I wouldn't say any of these.
I'm saying it's a tough name no matter how you say it.
Bleschel.
Bleschel.
Bleckle.
Bleschel.
I bet it's Bleckle.
Tina Bleckle.
Might be Tyna.
No.
Brian's factored about how the Super Bowl got its name.
Help me win a t-shirt from my favorite radio station
they proved Nate Land still belongs in the podcast education category
alright
don't say we never did nothing for you
is that quick?
can you say that real quick?
how did they get it?
one of the owner's sons had a ball called the Super Bowl
and the owner said well we should call this championship game the Super Bowl.
Okay.
That stinks.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's what Nate said last week.
All right.
Yeah.
The fact or the.
The fact.
That's a pretty boring story for why they call it that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, nothing about you.
Okay.
All right.
Well, you guys are in unison about that.
Well, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. it's just
not a fun the people everything i think it sounds like a lie the folks thought it was interesting
so i guess you guys aren't too i'm not saying it's not each is yeah you go like okay but it's
yeah it's just like surprising that it's you're maybe it's you you know it's getting it's just
surprising it's that little of a thing i
think it's so true yeah i could see that where you go like what no it's not and like you know yeah
uh katty stuns katie stuns she's the one that had the shirt oh when i was a kid my mom went
to sonic so regularly that one time we went out of town for a few days and came home to a letter in the mail from Sonic's manager.
He said that he figured we were probably out of town just to come by when we got home for a free dinner.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's a good move if you live alone and you're scared.
Mm-hmm.
You know, buddy up to a local restaurant and they'll keep an eye out on you.
It sounds like either she went there so much or the manager had a crush on Katie's mom.
I think there was something else going on.
Come on by for a free meal, Mrs. Stunz.
I miss you.
Figured you were out of town because you hadn't come by in a while.
I'd love to see you.
Come by.
I'll give you a free burger and some tater tots.
That just seems like a lot.
Like it's too though.
What does like,
cause for me,
it's like,
then I would just be like,
all I would think about is like,
well,
we have to go to Sonic.
Cause this guy thinks,
you know,
it's like psycho.
Yeah.
Like I,
I mean,
I just don't know how to,
I wouldn't like,
and that's me. I don't know. I take it just a nice gesture. I got to take it with like, now I feel, I just don't know how to, I wouldn't, like, and that's me.
I don't know, I take it just a nice gesture.
I got to take it with, like, now I feel like I'm an obligation.
Like, I have to go to Sonic now, at least to keep this going, I mean, for this guy to write a letter.
How did you get my address?
That's what I was about to ask.
How did they know their home address?
Maybe write checks.
Maybe write checks.
Back in the day.
Well, that's a little violation of privacy, don't you think, to pull up a personal check?
I don't think privacy existed back then.
Especially if you go to Sonic this often.
You put your name and address in the yellow pages.
So, I mean, you could have, like, you were, yeah, it was everywhere.
Or you knew where you lived or you knew where, you know.
Yeah, I guess so.
Where do you live at?
When we got a, when we get a phone book every year, first thing we do is flip to make sure our phone number and address is listed correctly.
And you wanted it to be listed correctly.
Back in the good old days.
Wow.
Yeah.
We wanted everyone to be able to reach us that wanted to.
Man, that's so different.
Back when, yeah, back when everything felt safe and we weren't worried about people tracking us down.
Yeah.
It is crazy to go from that to now you want nothing. I want delete me. I want to take it off of everything. Yeah, it is crazy to go from that to now you want nothing.
I want delete me. I want it taken off of everything.
Yeah, that is crazy.
John Hoskins. Why do girl
scouts...
Is it John Hoskins? Yeah, just the way
you emphasized it. Why do girl
scouts...
John Hoskins is...
Wasn't there John Hopkins? Hopkins, yeah.
I bet that gets confusing.
This guy just missed out.
All day, he's got to.
Yeah, well, I mean, it's got to be like John Hopkins,
and you're like, no, trust me.
Yeah.
As he walks back home, John Hopkins is in his helicopter above him.
Why do Girl Scouts only peddle their addictive
cookies in February?
Everyone sets New Year resolutions
to lose weight or give up sweets for Lent
only to be sabotaged by these cute little
cookie goblins
conspiring to raise money for unknown
nefarious activities.
It's absurd.
I propose these silk cookies in October and November
so you can share with your family
while your body's
getting wrecked
around the holiday
anyways
it's yeah
I
I
I never thought
I'd like that
no
we bought some
the other day though
where you find it
I'm mad
I could go for some
I was at
they're everywhere
they were at Walmart
and they corner you
yeah
yeah
you know
they were selling
like some boy scouts
or something
selling popcorn
and I was like oh i'll
support and then i was like how much they were like 20 for a bag and i was like i still did it
but i feel like for a bag or for don't they sell those tins of something i feel like you really
they really got me though i was like oh no it wasn't a 10 it was yeah i was like i feel like
you guys really got me here with this yeah well I don't think you're really doing it
For the cost efficient
I think it's the gesture
Have a good product at a decent price
Yeah
You could just give the boys $20
And you would feel better
Like just say I don't want the Bob going
Here's $20
I gotta agree with John here though
For some unknown nefarious activities
Like where is this money going So these kids can learn to pipe That's what you agree with John here, though, for some unknown nefarious activities. Like, where is this money going?
So these kids can learn to pipe.
That's what you agree with him on?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't care what time of year.
What are these girls up to?
Yeah.
They're selling this poison.
But the, yeah.
I mean, what are they learning to tie knots better with the money?
I mean, is rope prices going up or what?
You know what I mean?
You went from where can I get some?
I want some too.
This poison.
How you doing ladies?
Where's this money going?
Just buy one, please, sir.
It's a little kid.
Yeah.
Where is it going?
It is poison,
but your body can handle a little bit of it once in a while.
As long as you're not eating
the cookies every day.
Jennifer Marbach.
Marbach.
Why doesn't Dusty ever come to Las Vegas?
I see he does shows in cities and surrounding states,
but never in Vegas.
It is the whole Sin City thing.
Looking forward to seeing Aaron for the second time at Wise Guys
on March 29th.
We all will be wearing our Aaron Land shirts.
Tell him to bring his posters and I'll buy
some of those too.
I have been to Vegas
before. No, I just
don't participate in those things while I'm there.
I don't gamble and stuff like that.
I did Jimmy Kimmel's Comedy
Club in 2019.
Maybe early 2020, actually.
I did open for Kathleen
Madigan there one time. I did a corporate gig.
We are working
on a las vegas date so keep an eye out dusty will be yeah i will be i like i like oh and you know
what i did uh uh some country music thing there not long ago the acm some some thing there it's
like gatlinburg like gatlinburg same people it the same people. I was really blown away by it.
I really expected, me and my friend Evan were there, and we were like, we really wanted, we thought, like, we don't want to gamble, but we were like, just picturing movies where it's like all comical and everybody's huddled around the craps table and we're cheering them on.
We went and like stood by a table and everybody looked at us like, what are you doing over here?
And we're just trying to get into
the Vegas action here.
It just doesn't.
Gambling never,
it always seems fun on TV.
I don't know.
Every time I see people gambling,
I feel bad for them.
Well, it depends on where you're going.
Like some of the casinos we've done together,
that's all sad.
Yeah.
The Vegas casino can be sad. Yeah. Yeah.
The Vegas casino could be fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
People go and people having a good time.
If you're going in there and doing what you, yeah.
You just can't be relying on it.
Right.
Yeah.
You can't go to the Mother's Day buffet.
Yeah.
At the casino.
That's sad.
We did do a casino in Michigan, upper Michigan.
Harris, Michigan.
On Mother's Day. That's what I Harris, Michigan. On Mother's Day.
That's what I was thinking of, the Mother's Day buffet.
Yeah.
Just people plate in one hand, cigarette in the other hand.
Harris, Michigan, yeah.
The island casino and resort.
One of the worst weekends of my life.
The weekend was good, but that show was really bad.
It was awful.
And that was the way we ended the weekend.
Yeah.
You got to think, our bodies are pretty good that there's a lot of, there's majority of people can, I mean, can be eating this food and smoking and they can live to 80.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's pretty, like when you think of it positively, it's actually like, wow.
It's amazing we're doing this well.
Yeah.
Because the choices we're making.
Because everybody's like, well, you're going to die. You're like, I mean, they're probably going to make it to doing this well. Yeah. Because the choices we're making. Because everybody's like, well, you're going to die.
You're like, I mean, they're probably going to make it to 70, 80.
Yeah.
You're like, they're going to make it to the average age.
It's going to be tough at the end there, but yeah, they're going to get there.
Yeah, they're going to get there, but I mean, they're going to be, we didn't have, you know.
Yeah, our bodies are, we're probably designed to live a lot longer than we do, but it's just like, we're just, it's just constant poison going in that we're like, our body just shuts down eventually. Yeah. How long do you think we
could live if we did it right? At least I think everybody would at least live to a hundred,
120, I think. That's what I think. If we were like eating healthy food, just out of the ground,
grown food, I think meat is good. Not pork, but red meat and chicken.
Yeah.
And I think we would live a lot longer,
but we do eat a lot of bad stuff.
I mean, I eat bad stuff all the time.
So the oldest person ever to have lived,
116 years old, that's verified by modern,
verified oldest people in our era. 116 years old.
So you're saying nobody is
doing it right right now?
There's a woman who lived to be 120 years.
I don't know.
That's the man, I guess.
I don't really trust this info.
I was told there was
a guy.
We have a U.S. one in there.
That could tell you right there.
He had died in 99
well you know i'm just making a a rough estimate but i say 100 to 120 and so there are people
living to 116 so you know they may be doing it that's women though is there what's the men why
why didn't they just say the oldest person because i think there's such a difference. Okay, but look at oldest men.
Yeah, yeah.
What is the oldest?
Oldest verified man living right now is in Venezuela, 114 years old.
Yeah, so some people are doing it.
Yeah.
But why are so few people not doing it right?
Well, I do think that.
I feel like you see people having 100 birthdays a lot more than you used to.
I think so too.
But I do think,
yeah.
I mean,
if we were,
um,
eating,
uh,
you know,
like just,
I just think there's a lot of like,
uh,
processed food now.
That's really not good for us.
sure.
Uh,
all right.
So this week it's,
uh,
Valentine's day. So that'd be good time to about farming. All right. So this week, it's Valentine's Day.
So that would be a good time to talk about farming.
All right.
Yeah.
Oh, that was a good kind of lead into farming.
Yeah, absolutely.
Processed food and living.
Yeah, absolutely.
That was good.
You going to live off the land, Dusty?
I don't know.
Probably.
I probably never will, but I'd like to.
I mean, it's hard to do.
That's why I think we're in the spot that we're in,
right? Because two generations ago, like my grandfather was born in 1900 and he was a farmer.
He raised lots of food, but it's like, it was hard. So by the time my dad comes around,
things have started to become easier. You can get canned foods and this and that. So it's like,
it's so appealing to eat less healthy because it's easier and it's
better well it probably tastes it tastes better i don't know i don't know about that it may
but i think it does i mean the process yeah like stuff that comes out of it like that stuff
that's why i like i have so much trouble with processed food because it's yeah like i mean
i feel like this that's all need. I have a running theory.
This is a new theory I've just come up with.
Like just now?
No, no, but just this weekend.
I bought this bread.
It was like a sourdough bread,
but it said on the bag,
made with only the best ingredients,
healthy and delicious,
and it was disgusting.
So I feel like they brand things like that
so that we think healthy and delicious, healthy is gross.
They're like, oh, I can't eat healthy because it's disgusting.
I think they make healthy things disgusting.
So we go away from it.
I don't, but I don't think they are disgusting.
I just think the ones that are not are that good.
It's like cake versus eating, you versus eating just a whole wheat bread.
Like you're going to be, well, this cake is a lot better. It's yeah, that's got a lot more stuff in
it. I think if you only ate that bread that was super healthy, you wouldn't think it's gross.
But I think that I eat some, like a sourdough bread is good. And then there's a sprouted
grains bread, which I think is pretty good for you. And those are delicious, but this bread was branded healthy and delicious. And it was gross.
Why would a company deliberately want people to not enjoy its own product?
Well, they're probably some umbrella corporation and they own this brand,
but then they also own a lot of unhealthy brands.
So they deliberately sabotage one brand to drive
sales to the other brand? Yeah, because they're
all under a thing. It doesn't matter.
And then they probably own some
pharmaceutical company that would
once you eat all the bad bread forever,
they'll give you a pill
to keep you alive.
Okay. That makes sense.
It does make sense. Some people say
we deliberately sabotaged
the podcast
like Coke did
when they introduced
new Coke.
Oh, interesting.
And then quickly
after a backlash
you went back to
Coke Classic
and it drove up numbers.
And we never planned
on changing it at all.
Some people think
we did it on purpose too.
Oh, in the hour?
Yeah, yeah.
I respect the people
that think we put
that much thought into it. I like that though. I like that the hour? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I respect the people that think we put that much thought into it.
I like that though.
I like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're not even owned.
We're owned by,
we're a side project.
Yeah.
We're actually owned by
BlackRock.
A company that,
it's a company that owns
a lot of,
owns a lot of dirty podcasts.
That's right.
So they drive,
you know,
and they get so dirty that people are like,
oh, can we find something clean?
Clean and funny.
And they go, this isn't funny.
But that's one of those,
you can say anything.
You can say anything's delicious.
Yeah.
If you're a company,
that's one of those pufferies,
the term, you can say anything.
Yeah.
You can say it's amazing.
Those are all just terms you can use.
Because you can't prove it.
There's no objective standard of something's tasty.
But I think healthy is a term that is regulated.
Like, you can't claim Doritos are healthy.
Right.
But like, we'll make cookies sometimes, right?
And you'll use the recipe.
And then we'll just cut the sugar in half.
And the cookie is still good.
It's still okay.
But it's not as good as it could be.
Right? I don't know.
I enjoy less. Are you eating more
cookies because of that? That's where
they get you. You'll eat twice as many cookies.
I don't know. I don't know.
How about one
great cookie versus three ones that are okay?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I like an oatmeal cookie.
Do you like an oatmeal cookie?
I don't know.
Oatmeal raisin cookie?
I don't like the raisin part of it, but I don't mind an oatmeal cookie.
I feel like those are good.
Maybe if you catch me at the right time, I could.
Yeah.
I don't think I'm seeking it out.
No, nobody's seeking it out.
Like a coffee shop.
You go to like a real hipster coffee shop, get yourself a coffee, oatmeal raisin cookie,
sit down, write some jokes.
Oh, no.
I've never written.
I feel like, yeah.
Write it out.
You write it out word for word?
I used to.
That was a routine I used to do in Charleston.
I'd go to this place called Kudu Coffee.
It's a very Charleston thing.
Joe Zimmerman writes like that.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's a South Carolina guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So y'all just-
And there's a lot of coffee shops in Greenville too.
Joe will find a coffee shop.
Yeah.
Anywhere.
And he watches birds too.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
But he loves to go sit in a coffee shop and he just writes and-
By hand on paper. It is fun to hand, you know. By hand, on paper.
It is fun to handwrite.
I like handwrite too.
I'm going through that now where I'm trying to decide,
because I still always do set lists,
but I've been doing it kind of just on,
the only thing when it's on this is like,
I can move it around a lot easier.
So I can like, if it's on paper, if I typed it up, I can just, you know, be like, I'm like, all right, let me move this chunk here.
And it's kind of easier for me to see it.
And you can just kind of look at it as a big picture and be like, you know what, I'm gonna try to move this there.
And now I'll start with that, you know?
So I liked it. You you know it's the note cards
can i say i think nate's new hour is the best one yet it is really really good okay really we said
that about the last one and then the special came out and i'm in it we're like oh yeah yeah i think
it's getting better as it should do you feel that way nate do you feel like uh yeah i mean i was trying
to be yeah i mean i'm just trying to i'll tell you i i mean i'm in love i love stand-up comedy
so i don't i i love it so much i love the art of it i love it's, it's, it's, it's a big puzzle. It's a big, the way stuff is
the rhythm. And I mean, I talked a lot about, we were talking a lot this weekend, but I mean,
I'm like falling in love with it more than I ever have just these with these arena shows. It's just,
you do, you feel like a Disney on ice type of Knicks you you i mean you need to deliver that kind of thing
but it's like you want to be like it's just this it's a movie you know it's it's just
this great kind of it's so fun and just like how do you get this into this and when you're
hearing people laugh it's just the the gratitude that you get back from that is so good and
The gratitude that you get back from that is so good.
And it's a play.
It's a really beautiful.
I mean, I'm just.
A real symphony.
Yeah, I love it.
I really do love it.
It felt like symphony was where you were going with it. Yeah.
Could have been.
You know, you were.
Yeah.
A little symphony of laughter.
Yeah, probably.
I don't think I would.
Yeah.
Yeah, but it is.
You're conducting.
You are kind of conducting me.
It's like a song.
I mean, I think it's like your rhythm is your is kind of singing i always think about comedy like that
like songs yeah like each little bit is like your own little song yeah yeah and it's just it's when
you go up there it's a prepared i mean that you know i know what comedy can be but like
it should be two separate things because if it it's like, you know, at the beginning, I understand you're one thing, but it's like, yeah, you should just keep growing.
And so every hour should be like, well, what do I got to do to this one to make, you know, like this one I wanted to, I wanted this hour to flow the best.
So that's what i thought of like uh before i started i was like i want to make sure i can i need to make this like i want it to be so flowing that you don't know that i'm into another
thing where it almost feels like one cohesive thought yeah the whole time yeah and i think
i still got work to do at that and i think the i could see for the next hour i want to
maybe i want you know i don't know i i't think, I don't want to get ahead of thinking the next hour.
I need to make sure I even have this, but it's, I, yeah,
but it's making this stuff. I mean, I, I, you know,
cause I have that Saturday night live stuff in there and that I get in my head
about that. That's the problem. Cause, uh,
I'll do the, I do the donkey story and the rangatang story and, uh,
some of it, but it's, it's a lot of added stuff and
again that was nine minutes and so I'm doing that part of the nine minutes but the stories have a
lot more to it right just not a lot more but like that but in my head I think every you know it's
like well everybody's seen that you know but it's like I don't I'm gonna I want to own those jokes
so yeah it's like I'm gonna do them but yeah it's uh I don't i'm gonna i want to own those jokes so yeah it's like i'm gonna do
them but yeah it's uh i don't know it's it's just super fun i mean being in an arena is it's it's
just a different thing and i i just it's i mean man i love it like it's you know you think about
tv show movies and i mean i have i you know i want to I want to do stuff, but it's just the best thing in the world.
Comedy is where it's at.
It feels like people always talk about it.
They're like, once you succeed in comedy, they're trying to get you to do other things.
And I'm like, this is what I want to be doing.
This is great.
Yeah.
I mean, I could see making a movie because I wouldn't mind because those are very long lasting.
Or if you could create a sign, you just want to create something that's going to be a long lasting.
I would want to make something that people could go back and rewatch.
And, you know, not saying that I will or won't or whatever.
But yeah, with stand up, it's just like you just learn in that right then.
And it's just so much fun. And it's just so interesting and just being yeah it's the
best like the you know the shorthand you have with comics and you're like i got into that quick and i
sped up that too you know it's you know the comics can be like oh yeah i know they know what you're
talking about but it's a very are the language to each other is just, I love it.
Yeah, I don't know, I love it.
Yeah, and the more comedy that gets out there publicly,
the more obvious it is that not everybody can do it well.
And it is fun to be able to do it well.
It's bad for me.
It's hard.
I hope that there's a generation that that comes and i think there will be because it's it's like you you're in that younger generation where you do love it
you love the idea it's a performance so go be a performance whatever type of joke teller you are
if you're uh stephen wright or hedberg or if you're you know seinfeld if you're storytelling whatever
crowd work yeah but but if you do crowd work sure make it a performance right you can't like the
thing with the problem with crowd work is you're going up too unprepared and so when you go up
there it's like they got to find it but if if you wanted to, you know, I think that's Ian.
I talk about Ian Baglock.
I think Ian Bag is really good at that where he does crowd work.
But it's he has jokes that are connectors.
So it doesn't just get silent for no reason.
It's never silent.
Yeah, because it's like, well, he can he can do this.
And what do you do?
And then that and then now I'm in this other now he does a joke that he has prepared then he's back into like what was that what do you do back there and then if
something goes if something starts working really in the room then he can expand on it but that's a
that's a someone that's practiced that and like really and have to have stuff set up like you
have to be able to do it and when i think when if you go out there and you don't know, and you're unprepared, people don't want to prepare. It's a lot of hard work. The idea of comedy,
the idea of standup comedy is it's, I think the allure to it to people is that it's, it's easy.
Why that you're just being funny. I'm funny. So I'll just go up there and be funny. And so no one
realizes in a lot of comedians fall into, it's not the audience's problem to figure out how hard it is,
but if you're going to be a comedian,
you need to know,
dude,
it's,
it is insane.
It's,
I mean,
how much you got to come up,
think about being a musician.
You have to write a new album every two years,
a year and a half,
every two years,
roughly.
I mean,
you're not going to do that at the beginning,
but once you become a older and kind of get going,
you are kind of doing that.
And, you know, even if it's three years,
I mean, people take eight-year breaks between albums.
You know, and they have team writing.
It's you.
You have to go do this performance.
But when you do that, it helps you write quicker too.
If you go into it and think of it, your hour as a, it's like all right this is a whole performance i'm writing a movie
basically that's how i like that's my new when i think of stand-up is like i'm a movie i'm the star
of this movie and so here's my movie and then when you do that and you just kind of can and all the
story i'm not making stuff up but it's like, all right, that happened to me.
I'll grab that story.
And then,
oh,
I heard that.
And you know,
it's like,
you just slowly start
and then you put it together
and then it becomes a one thing.
I mean,
that's,
there's nothing better.
And you can figure it out.
You get real reaction every time.
That's the craziest part.
Well,
that is what's great.
Golly,
that's so,
you write a movie.
I think you're,
well, you're going to wait two years. You're so you write a movie. I think you're, well,
you don't wait two years.
You're not going to know.
I mean,
you're going to be about time it comes out.
These people have to be like,
what was this movie about?
And if you're,
yeah.
And then you go,
but stand up,
you get it.
I got to get it right now.
This podcast is about to Wednesday.
And you don't have to convince somebody else that it's funny before it's an
actual audience season.
Like when you're writing scripts or whatever,
like somebody else has to approve and go,
okay, this is funny before you even make it.
But stand up, you can go,
oh, this just happened to me right now.
I'm going to go say it on stage.
And if people laugh, it's like, boom, it's a bit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. It's, I mean.
You don't have to go, what do you think about this?
And then they go, I don't know to go what do you think about this and then they go
i don't know you just go do it yeah i might go to zany's tonight now i'm all fired up yeah well
i told lucy no you have your phone and text me and say say i might come uh it's uh yeah now i'm
fired up now i want to go you jacked up yeah uh i love it man it's just you know it's the it's
you know it's it's such a you know comics i get you want to be like you don't want like this art
form and we don't like saying that stuff but it is it it's if you can look at it like an over it's
i do like saying that i hate when people don't consider it
art i mean it's like it's like almost like the one of the purest art forms i mean it's like you're
straight up putting yourself out there if it doesn't work you fail in front of a lot of people
yeah it's like it's so much art yeah now there's people that do it in a very not artistic way
yes where it's really can be really trashy
but there's a real art to it uh it's the best it's just that she'll give you five minutes if
you want thanks yeah i fell back and she texted me no and i was like nah and then but now i'm
started talking about it i'm like well get a little bit fired up to go do a little fit uh
yeah yeah it's i I mean, I look forward
cause we're taking this special in April. I'm taking it in April. Then I'll finish the year
of touring and then, uh, still be the be funny tours. So it'll be, you know, uh, all that.
And then I'll have a little time off and then, you know, 25 have another tour. Uh, but yeah,
I mean, I look forward to building that i mean i'm i'm nervous
about it i'm scared because i'm like i don't know how i'm going to come up with anything
yeah i mean you know i remember you saying that on this podcast a year and a half ago and now
well that's what you just think though you're like i mean can't you know i feel really good
about it but then you're like it can't just be getting better i just get scared i'm not going
to know i'm terrible that's my and so i'm just
scared of that i'm the i'm always like that i think like i'm great and then everybody's like
this guy stinks dude and i have no idea and i look like an idiot and that's my biggest fear and that's
i work off pure just that panic of i'm scared to get i'm scared to death that i am terrible
yeah at comedy and everybody's just being very nice to me.
It's like the kid that finds out he's at fat camp halfway through the summer.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
He's like, oh, my God.
I think Brian.
He's like, man, these guys are cool.
I think Brian will let you know.
I don't think you got to worry.
As long as Brian's in your life, I think he'll let you know.
I've been waiting for that day.
I'll be the first to tell you.
But to your point about stand-up comedy, you make a movie, you don't know it's bad.
I guess until maybe the audience doesn't go.
But stand-up, if they don't laugh, that's a first clue.
It's the fact that you can, yeah.
I mean, it's just that instant.
There's nothing more pure.
I mean, that's the thing that Gaffigan said in the golden globes we said now the golden globes now have uh letting the real talented people an award for the real talented
people because they're saying that the comedians are the ones that write the jokes but it's uh
and then they have to perform and they have to sell them it's it's really a very like
i can get you back in farming it's it, it's, it's a very farming type thing.
You're watch.
I'm going to get it back because you're,
you plant your food,
you eat your,
it's sustainable.
It's self-sustained.
You're an art form.
That's self-sustained.
I don't need,
I don't need a, a,
a camera.
I don't need a,
I mean,
you know,
you want a microphone,
but I don't need a mic.
Technically.
I don't need,
you're off the grid and You're off the grid.
It's the only art form that's off the grid.
And that's like farming.
Farming is that.
And if you don't weed your garden in the sense that you have too many words in your joke,
if you don't weed the garden, then those weeds will suck the nutrients out of what you're actually trying to grow and ruin your whole bit.
So you got to take a bunch of words out.
You got to get all those weeds out of there.
Yeah.
You got to narrow it down.
And every few hundred years, new technology comes and uproots the industry
and you have to rethink everything.
But the thing is, staying up, it's going to be hard to get uprooted.
Because you're still, you have the same plant.
We're still growing this, you know, they may, you know, they may GMO it,
but we're still eating the same kind of plant.
You can only do it sometimes a year.
It's very seasonal.
Yeah. Stay in the prison. I was laughing because you only do it sometimes a year. It's very seasonal. Yeah.
Stay in the prison.
I was laughing because you go, I'm going to bring this back to farming.
It's a very farming type thing.
It is, though.
It is, though.
Brilliant.
I agree with you, but it was –
Yeah.
If you didn't stop there.
It is.
It's like farming.
Yeah.
And if you don't do it right, you're not going to get any results there you go i don't even do it for the fans i do it for viore clothing it's everything
you need in clothing when it comes to working out or just lounging around which may be more
my speed oh i hadn't read this in it Seriously, it's more comfortable than whatever you're wearing right now.
I'm wearing the half zip.
I got Viore on right now.
I'm wearing it.
I got it on too.
A little hoodie.
I get you guys.
You look good.
You look good.
Wear it off stage.
Yeah.
Viore is an investment in your happiness.
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Get yourself some of the most company thing.
Because it's very, very hard.
And you got to write new stuff. Even if you love the stuff that you're doing,
you have to write new stuff because that's what makes you better. You don't get better
not writing new stuff. You know what I mean? There are people that I've known in my life that
can work an hour. They'll write an hour and they can work that hour forever.
And it's amazing that they can do that to perform the same joke over and over
again and,
and,
and,
and deliver it with some real passion.
But I think,
you know,
you get,
that's how you get better is writing stuff.
I gotta go work on transitions.
That's what I need to go down there tonight.
Just one transition,
which is funny.
Thanks.
I am the joke. Yeah, but I gotta do, I'll do is funny to think it's not even a joke.
Yeah.
But I got to do, I'll do a joke to do it,
but I just need to get.
That's funny how small and precise of a thing.
Yeah.
It's like, I just got to get this one.
Like I need to be able to get to this, to this.
And I'm doing it, but it's not, it's not there.
There's another joke too that I think I could maybe say different.
All right.
All right, farming.
Farming.
Farming's been around pretty much from the beginning.
You wanted two hours.
That's right.
There you go.
In the Bible, Adam tended the Garden of Eden.
That's kind of like a farmer, right?
At least a gardener.
I don't think he had to really do anything in the Garden of Eden. That's kind of like a farmer, right? At least a gardener. I don't think he had to really do anything in the Garden of Eden, though.
It was not until he was thrown out that he had to really farm the land.
Yeah, they were just like growing.
God was like, if you just do what I tell you to do, you're not going to have to do anything.
And he was like, nah.
And then God was like, all right, now you're tilling the land.
Well, he had to name the animals.
Yeah.
That's something.
Yeah. That's something. Yeah.
That's not farming though, but.
Well, I mean, does a farmer name all the animals?
Like if you have a bunch of cows, are you naming them?
Or are you just.
No.
Not how I grew up.
Yeah.
Because you're about to send them off to slaughter.
You don't want to get to.
We didn't have any names for any animals.
What would you go?
That one?
You're like, go grab that one.
Well, you had to have tags on their ears.
Numbers.
Numbers on them.
Yeah.
And we liked them.
We cared about them.
Did you?
Yeah.
I mean, did you have one that you're like, I like 99447?
Yeah.
Then we had short, you know, we didn't have that many cows.
It'd be like number 27.
Go get Niner Tingo X-Ray.
But we had a bull for a while that would chase you.
And we named him Sweetie, you know, kind of like that sort of thing.
And he would chase you around the pasture.
And it was pretty terrifying, but also fun at the same time.
Like fun because we never got hit by him.
Yeah.
But pretty scary.
Yeah.
You just stopped calling him Sweetie real quick.
Yeah.
And probably sent him off to the slaughter immediately.
That's right.
Mm-hmm.
But you hear him just, did you, when were you on a farm?
Well, I grew up with divorced parents.
So my mom lived in the trailer park.
My dad lived on a farm and he had cows.
Yeah.
And you know.
Did they wake you up in the morning?
No.
No.
No, I wasn't like that.
Have you ever woken up with a cock-a-doodle-doo?
Has that ever, you've ever started a day like that? No, we never had chickens. Is that real? Is that a real thing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I wasn't like that. Have you ever woken up with a cock-a-doodle-doo? Has that ever, you've ever started a day like that?
No, we never had chickens.
Is that real?
Is that a real thing?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've heard it in the morning.
I think I've woken up.
Really?
I'm pretty sure I have.
Yeah, I think I have from like just a rooster being, you know.
I grew up on a farm.
We didn't have chickens, but we had cows and horses.
Yeah, that's what we had.
I had a donkey for a little while.
Now, we did go camping. You named the horses? We named the horses. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's what we had. I had a donkey for a little while. Now, we did go camping.
You named the horses?
We named the horses.
We only had a couple.
And horses are a little more like...
You're keeping them. Yeah. I mean, they call people
like, they call things like cattle
for a reason, I think, because they're just
indiscriminate
groups.
Horses feel personal.
What did your dad grow?
He just
raised cows.
We would grow hay and then bale hay every year.
He would do
random gardens, but we were just a
cow farm.
Anthropologists say that
early man, it was...
Who is that?
Who are anthropologists? that early man, it was- Who is that? Who are anthropologists?
Yeah.
Just a group of dudes and some gals, I guess.
Yeah, of course.
They say early man was hunter gatherers.
That was like the first.
And then they eventually evolved into farmers.
And that's when people really started to flourish and thrive because you're not now hunting for your food to live.
You're growing it. Oh, dude. All all of a sudden you've got hours to kill which was never a thing
right yes way back in the day you're hunting all day yeah and then you have no relief there's no
leisure because you got to get the next day and hunt again but if you're farming and you're like
stocking up on food then you got what do i do day? Now I can sit and think and invent stuff and write and write stories and do plays.
Right.
I think even the animals back.
What do you mean?
Oh, no, because they got to hunt all day.
Like a bear.
I get some work.
So a bear could start farming, set up a little garden.
They'd get some work done.
Yeah, they could.
They could contribute.
They said they got to hunt. Like, they could. They could contribute something for once.
Like, oh, you know, it's like,
every day, here we go.
Yeah.
I don't know if this is true or not,
but I read on the line,
half that habitable,
is that the right word?
Habitable land on earth is used for farming.
Half of it?
Is that what you said?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Bill Gates owns a quarter of that.
About a fourth of the world's
population works
in agriculture. A quarter?
Yep. Used to be up to almost half.
Oh, so that's down.
It's gradually gone down over the years.
Now, more machinery, technology.
Yeah, I guess you need fewer people to
work it yeah still though
that's got to be is that the largest industry in the in the world it is yep yep we uh i think i
told this on the jobs i've been college i would summertime i'd help local farmers in tobacco
and one time we like three or four of us got got nicotine poisoning. It's funny. I don't even smoke, but I got nicotine poisoning.
You got that when we had a cigar, too.
I had some flashbacks.
It had rained, and the leaves had gotten wet on the tobacco,
and it somehow seeped into our pores.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, from physical touch.
Yeah.
Oh, that's crazy.
Yeah, we're all sick.
I feel like a doctor would come to you and be like,
your pores are more open than most people's.
I wonder if that's.
Shut your pores a little bit.
Like Swiss cheese.
He goes, this guy can't.
Maybe that's the last time you did it.
Like they just knew like.
Talk about poor kid over here.
Like the poor.
Wear long sleeves from now on. Yeah. Poor kid. He's got a lot of money. Different kind of. here. Poor kid. Wear long sleeves from now on.
Poor kid.
He's got a lot of money.
Different kind of poor kid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Porous.
How was that?
What would you do farming tobacco?
From the beginning, you know, I always just helped out the farm, but they would grow these tobacco slips.
And then first you pull them.
Once they grow a certain length, you pull them up, gather them up.
Then there's a tobacco setter where, that was my favorite part, you and it's either a two-person setter or a four-person setter.
You sit there and a wheel goes around and you just plant in the wheel and then it plants it into the ground and that makes the rows.
That's fun.
You got a friend there.
You're just hanging out doing it.
I was left-handed, so it always worked out good because they needed a left-handed person, a right-handed person over there.
And then after a while, it grows and you have to cut it.
Well, you have to do things, get rid of weeds and stuff and then cut it eventually and then hang it in the barn and let it dry out, cure, and then it eventually goes to market.
The whole process.
What were you growing?
Were you growing smoking tobacco or chewing tobacco?
Or could be any.
Was this like a mom and pop tobacco or was it
they contracted with a big tobacco
company? No, I mean it was just local
farmers. I feel like farming is a little bit like
stand-up comedy. There's not many middle class farmers.
So it is like stand-up comedy.
Yeah, you brought it back around.
There's some that are doing great.
The big farms, most of them are just getting by.
But you don't get into it to make money.
You get into it for the love of the game, dude.
That's probably true.
They're going to love it.
That's probably true.
Well, if you don't love it, you're never going to make it to the top.
You got to love it.
I've heard tobacco farming is really hard.
That's what I've heard.
Yeah.
Especially like the... No, I don't know. He did it. I's what I've heard. Yeah, especially like the...
No, I know.
I didn't do it well.
I didn't do it well.
I like when I picture you young, I just picture you
exactly like you now, but just
back in old timey times.
I mean, that's not far off.
Yeah.
You really do look the exact same.
Besides my hair, I'm basically the same.
Yeah, and the hair is probably pretty close.
Like it's enough that you go, yeah, you get it.
It's not like it was.
You think you've shaved your head your whole life?
Shaved my head the whole life?
Well, I always had a short haircut.
I mean, I had a full, I had a hair and then.
No, I know.
You never grew out long hair or anything.
No, no, no, no, no.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Like the barber's been doing for 50 years.
Have you been going to the same barber for a long time?
I would if he was still alive.
Fed a few die-offs.
Yeah.
It was Raymond and Tony.
They were father and son.
They're both gone now.
Went through two generations.
Wow.
Wow.
Raymond was the dad.
Now Tony's gone.
Do you think, would it even take off, take over when they went?
You know, I want to do, you know.
You know, I don't think we, I mean, my mom took me at first.
I don't think we tipped back then.
I don't know if that was a Bates thing that we didn't know.
We never tipped the barber back in the day.
I bet we didn't.
I bet we didn't back then. I don't think people t was a Bates thing that we didn't know. We never tipped the barber back in the day. I bet we didn't. I bet we didn't back then.
I don't think people tipped.
Stuff like that.
Yeah, our hair coat was, I want to say, probably $5 shorty.
Tipping's out of control when you go in and you pay for a service
and then you're tipping on top of it.
It's like, oh, this is how much I charge.
And then, you know, if you want me to do it well next time, give me more.
Yeah.
Well,
they,
someone,
uh,
Chase told us too,
because we,
we actually were selling,
we had merch at,
uh,
uh,
the Kansas City,
which we're trying to do some merch.
I did not know,
but someone said one of the merch things had like a tipping option.
And I didn't,
I didn't know.
On the tab.
On the tab.
Yeah.
I'll go make sure strong point
that gets all oh i had them do that too my merch guy had a well it wasn't hit but it just on the
thing it said i go oh never never do that never present that yeah yeah i don't even know where
that money would go yeah i don't either i don't have some tip jar where it's coming to me i don't
know who's getting that yeah square yeah probably i don't know. I don't have some tip jar where it's coming to me. I don't know who's getting that.
Yeah.
Square.
Yeah.
Probably.
I don't know how you could sleep at night, Dusty, unless you were on a Helix mattress.
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Helix mattresses are delivered in a box and straight to your door.
Yeah.
Were you in FFA?
I think that I was
an FFA because I took
an agricultural class. Farmers for America?
Yeah. Future Farmers
of America. Oh, Future Farmers of America.
But I did not participate. Growing up, I was
not into any of this stuff.
I didn't like that I had to go do stuff
on my dad's farm.
I wanted to get out of
that as fast as i could i'm only getting back to it now because you know i i got into the city life
and now i want to get back to touching some dirt the ffa has over 850 000 members throughout the
country but they're probably they probably probably real inactive it's
like when i was in school we had to sign up for it and i became a member but i was like
i didn't do anything i went down a tiktok rabbit hole of people the ffa announcing who like the
president of the chapter is or the national organization and these kids were going nuts
i watched it for like 30 minutes i had no idea what was going
on i still don't understand what the ffa does but those kids are fired up man i think the ones that
are into it yeah it's a big part of who they are oh yeah where those blue jackets yeah for sure
that's good it is good um and i i like the travis tritt uh it's a cover, a song called Where Corn Don't Grow.
That song really resonates with me.
Do you guys get a chance?
I think it's a Waylon Jennings song,
but Travis Tritt has a good version called Where Corn Don't Grow.
That song resonates with me pretty hard.
Luke Bryan has a great one too.
Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey.
Whiskey makes my baby a little frisky.
So you should check that out.
Every country song now is about drinking.
Back in the day, you were just singing about corn.
Yeah, this song is about a relationship with father and son.
The father is a farmer, and then the son wants, he's dreaming about a different life.
And so eventually he gets out, and then he wants to come back.
That's where I'm at.
I don't want to go to my dad's farm necessarily, but I would like to start my own.
I helped Paul Hay too.
And I was even worse at that than tobacco because my upper body strength, even then, wasn't that great.
Lifting hay bales is the worst.
Those strings just, even if you're wearing gloves, you've got to wear gloves.
They just go right through your mouth.
I'm going to ask you a question.
I don't want the table to make fun of me.
What is hay and what does it do?
Cows eat it in the wintertime when grass isn't growing.
It's dead grass that's dried out.
And it's literally just food for the cattle.
Yeah.
It's like rye grass, I think, or bahia, I think is the type of grass.
And it comes in those barrels.
That's the bays.
What are they called?
A bale.
Bale?
Oh, bale.
They're square bales and round bales.
Okay.
And you just spread those out and then they eat them?
They store it in the winter.
Like with the round bale, what we would always have, we'd have a big metal ring
in the field.
So you go out,
you have to pick the round bale
up with the tractor.
You lift it up
and then you go out there
and then you have to,
like on a spike.
Yeah.
And then you have to lift that ring
or a spike
or just kind of a two,
like a forklift kind of thing.
And then you go out
and you have to lift that ring.
A lot of times it'd be real cold
because that's when you're doing this
is in the winter time
because in the summer they can eat grass. So it's real cold and you're lifting up this muddy
thing because the cows are all around it all the time. So they're beating the grass down and it's
real muddy and cold and you lift it up and the cows know what's coming. So they're all out there
around you. And then you drop the bale and then immediately the cows go for it. And then you have
to drop the ring. You hit a lot of the cows go for it. And then you have to drop the ring.
You hit a lot of the cows in the face with the ring.
I'm trying to get it back down.
And that's.
Are there hay farms?
Do people just sell hay?
My dad raises hay and sells a lot of hay.
Okay.
I'm sure there are.
Could you farm in the right temperature where you never need hay all year?
If they just eat grass all year long?
I would think maybe South Florida, South Texas,
Southern California.
I feel like it would seem weird to see a cow
down there in South Florida.
I think they're
everywhere. I'm sure, but I'm just saying
if you saw one in Miami, you're like,
what are you doing down here?
Come on, dude.
Tampa and Key West has all these chickens
running around, just loose chickens.
Yes.
But a cow.
Yeah, it's different.
You don't think of cows.
Florida is probably the last place you're going to think of.
I guess so.
Yeah, yeah.
Or Hawaii, maybe.
Yeah, but I don't know.
You're never going to.
No one's going to think of Hawaii.
You go America, you go America, cows.
I think it's a long road before you get.
I think Florida is the last one you get to.
You said California?
But I think California, happy cows come from California.
They've got a whole advertising.
I've never even heard of that.
California is like almost completely agricultural, I think.
Really?
Outside of the big city.
I'm the worst one.
It's okay.
I went to a gigantic dairy farm in California.
I did a gig for a guy and he took me out there and it's like, that's where they grow all the almond trees for almond milk.
Yeah.
And then they have,
he had this is,
I wish I had,
I should have sent you the video,
but it was a giant circle that,
that rotates and a cow just walks up on it and it rotates a little further.
New cow walks up on it.
And then a machine comes up and hooks to the udders and milks them while they
make the complete turn.
And if the cow, they had sensors on it.
If the cow finishes before it makes its way around, it pops off.
Wow.
And then, and then it gets back around.
The cow walks off, goes back down.
You got milked in the round.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's why I thought the round was going to rotate.
You could do a round like this, though.
Imagine comedy like that.
Somebody just walks on.
It takes about five minutes to go around.
You just keep doing comedy.
The audience members walk on, catch a little comedy, get off, go back to the bar.
You're just out there doing comedy for hours.
That could be the future.
Could be.
Could be.
doing comedy for hours.
Yeah.
That could be the future.
Could be.
Could be.
Farm Aid started in 1985
by Willie Nelson,
John Mellencamp,
Neil Young
to help farmers.
They thought it was going to be
a one-time thing,
raise enough money,
we'd be good.
And they've been doing it now
for, what, 40 years?
What do they do, a show?
Yeah.
It's a festival kind of thing.
Yeah, like a woodstock almost.
It's usually like in Illinois and just help farmers out.
I want to do farm aid.
I should get on that.
Seems like that would be something that you would do.
They need a side stage for comedy.
Yeah.
Yeah, like Bonnaroo does.
This is Willie Nelson, Neil Young, John Mellencamp, Dave Matthews.
This is a crazy line.
When is Bill Price?
Nashville's home.
Yep.
She just recently,
I think,
joined.
They haven't announced
the date for 2024 yet
that I can find,
but it's usually
in the summer,
I think.
Yeah.
So,
there you go.
You can still get on it.
Yeah.
There's still time.
Still time.
I always heard about
cows lead to global warming, but from what I read, I mean, I guess it depends on who you ask.
That's not that big of a contributor.
Is there a number that we can attribute to?
We're talking about cows farting, right?
Well, they say even that's misleading.
It's more belching, but it's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
Well, let's hear the numbers.
This is from probably...
I can't remember who this is from.
Research shows that removing all livestock and poultry from the U.S. food system would
only reduce global greenhouse gas emissions by 0.36%.
So a third of a percent.
So go ahead and eat bugs to drop it that little amount. by 0.36%. So a third of a percent.
So go ahead and eat bugs to drop it that little amount.
You can start eating some.
It's like when you,
I feel like it's like,
you know,
when you look at computer storage
and you're seeing,
trying to see what you can get rid of
to save the gigabytes.
Yeah, sure.
That's what global warming is.
And so you're trying to like it's this
percentage you're like so you got to go through and you're like trying to take the you're like
oh well i don't play those games and it's like well that's a sliver of your yeah well that doesn't
you know but i'm looking at the main thing that's like i'm like well i'm trying to get rid of some
old word documents yeah it's all different color bites're like, well, we could get rid of that.
And then China's just this huge one.
You can't get rid of that.
Yeah.
You ever wonder why baseball teams call it the farm system?
Farmade.
I imagine just the metaphor of growing and developing stuff.
All right, Aaron.
Cultivate.
Whatever.
Because someone's. Was that it?
Yes.
I mean, the John Farmer's nephew goes,
well, that's a Super Bowl.
He goes, we're calling it the Super Bowl.
Do you know who has the top farm system then?
Top farm system?
I mean...
Chicago White Sox.
Based on what metric?
I don't know.
Major League Baseball.
The thing I Google.
Global Warming.
New York Giants.
Is it the Baltimore Orioles right now?
Yeah, yeah.
Orioles are good.
He's good.
He's got some young studs.
He's good.
He's good.
There's a guy right there that doesn't have kids.
All that goes away.
I'll tell you what.
There's your advice right there.
You stop keeping up with that stuff.
That's the advice for –
Pick and choose what you're going to stop caring about.
Yeah, yeah.
That's true.
Nate Holstein.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You learn's and that's the the the fun part there's a good fun about this more
kid advice than girl a you can't believe how much you love this little girl every day and then but
all the stuff that you uh think you care the most about once you have a kid yeah you could care less i mean just don't even
you're like all the things about going to a game or going to this or going to you're like hey
you're like i don't have time for anything you know i also say relief in that yeah yeah yeah
relief you didn't even realize that yeah yeah at the time well it's like yeah relief and going like
yeah why was my why is everything going into this thing? Because, I mean, it just is.
When I was young and, you know, it's like I know everything about Vandy.
I know everything.
Well, that was exhausting for other reasons.
Yes, it was.
But, I mean, but, you know, but I was just a fan.
I was like, you know, and then you slowly do it.
You think like, you know, video games.
I'm never going to not play video games.
I'm not playing video games.
I haven't played video games in 15 years.
And I thought, when would I ever stop playing? You can start doing it now, dude. play video games i'm not playing i haven't played video games in 15 years and i thought why would i
when would i ever yeah stop playing you can start doing it now dude play stop playing videos you can
start you can come back well i've started uh i have one i have it on my bus but i mean i still
don't like i was the only way i like it is uh i played madden just because it's a thoughtless
thing oh and so it's madden's
perfect you can hop on and play for 15 minutes and you're done yeah the video games i used to
play you'd have to play for eight hours to get anything done it would just take over your life
it's funny you just don't have a desire to go even though i have madden you're just still like
i don't know i don't want to go i feel like i don't want to do this yeah uh you know i don't
i've never in the online stuff i kind of checked
out but it is funny how all this stuff goes away you just another thing about kids i always had i
never changed a diaper i don't think my whole life i had nieces nephews i never did that i had in my
mind that i don't think and that's a good thing yeah you shouldn't have been changing probably
but i mean i was around enough family where i'm sure they would have liked it if i'd helped once
i don't know but uh any yeah i don't think i where I'm sure they would have liked it if I'd helped once in a while. I don't know. But if any, yeah, I don't think I changed it.
I think my family would have been okay with it.
I'm just saying.
I know.
But I'm just saying, you said it like, look, I don't think I ever changed it.
I'm just saying I was against it.
I was, in my mind, I was not even going to be, I know this sounds ridiculous, but in my mind, I was not even going to be changing my own kid's diapers.
But the moment I had my daughter, I was like, I don't want my daughter sitting around in pee and poop.
Like if it's in there, I want to get it off of her.
I want her to be in a nice, clean environment as much as possible.
I mean, that's a real father right there.
Well, you know what I mean, though?
It's my job to protect my kids.
Right.
You can't count on anybody else to do it.
Not even your wife.
Nobody.
Well, I mean, hopefully you can count on your wife, but nobody cares.
You know, nobody cares about your kids like you do.
Not even, I don't know.
I just, you just got to do it.
I also wanted to say about John Hoskins.
This guy may be doing very well, by the way.
What was his comment?
We just told him that Hopkins was up in a helicopter.
I just want to say, John Hoskins, maybe.
You know, this could be an exciting moment for him
that he got his comment read.
I mean, it was well-written.
He put some thought into it.
I'm not throwing you under the bus, but I'm just saying.
Could be related to Philly's first baseman, Reese Hoskins.
Oh.
So he could have, I don't know, 30 grand.
Or it could be just standalone.
Doing very well.
Who's Reese Hoskins?
He just names him.
He's got Reese Hoskins and got enough money to give.
Is he a big-time player?
Yeah, he's on the tail end of it, but he was pretty good.
He was pretty good for a while.
I think John Hoskins is doing well on his own.
That's my personal opinion.
I don't know.
He's complaining about Girl Scout cookies.
He's saying, I'm going to be eating them.
Why don't you put them out in the end of the year instead of the beginning?
Because he has to go see John Hopkins.
What is it?
Is it a hospital?
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, it's a college, but yeah.
Oh, it's a disease.
John Hopkins disease.
There's a hospital.
There's a John Hopkins disease.
They're thinking of Lou Gehrig
yeah
another baseball
player
there you go
I got Abraham
Lincoln fever
what
he goes
how'd you get that
he goes
it's crazy
building log houses
farming
he probably did
farming
he did some farming
what was it
the
Andrea Doria
we called it
the Ella Fitzgerald?
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't...
He's a singer?
Yeah.
Ella Fitzgerald's the singer.
No, the singer.
It's the...
And then he...
Fog hat or...
I don't know.
He argued and he said, yeah, on the Cat Stevens.
On the Cat Stevens.
Yeah, yeah.
Also, I'll say...
My dad loves Cat Stevens.
I was excited about the farming topic, but I think of all the topics we've said we're going to do and then didn't really do anything on.
This was the most.
This is the most.
Maybe the Bible.
Okay.
Where we were like, we're going to talk about farming and then really everything.
But we were like.
Was there a ton more stuff?
Well, maybe not for me. Yeah. Maybe there a ton more stuff? Well, maybe. Not for me.
Yeah.
You did about.
Maybe you want to
write up some stuff.
Yeah.
Well, I mean,
we're at,
you know.
No, I'm not saying now.
I'm saying like,
if we can do this episode,
it'll be kind of farming
or almost farming.
It's like farming
more as a metaphor.
We really discussed it
more as a metaphor
than an actual thing,
which is great.
Basically plowing the field here.
Yeah.
No farming really took place.
We plowed the field.
We're going to plant some seeds next episode.
Yeah.
But if you, yeah, I mean, if you were trying to live, sustain on your own land, you'd have to have like people working.
Yeah.
You'd have to have, you know.
That's why when I talk about having a cabin people always think i'm trying
to go off the grid and i'm like oh no it's so hard well it's probably the cabin i doubt i doubt
it's just the cab and it's a lot i think it's also your as we say it's yeah you're about you
the words that come out of your mouth yeah i would love to but i can't get a lot of family
saying i would love to is one yeah yeah I can't get my family involved with it.
I keep trying to get my family to, you know, like help me build the farm.
Right.
And they're all like trying to go to, you know, McDonald's and stuff.
You're talking about your children or your family, your fam?
My family.
My children will have to do whatever I tell them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's why people back in the day had a lot of kids yeah oh sure yeah oh yeah get stuff done somebody's gotta milk the cows
you ever milk a cow never have i haven't either my dad used to do it but i never did it
you do it i'm guessing you guys not never done it i don't think i've done it no i don't think
i've been around the cows i really don't think I've been around a cow.
I really don't think I've been around one.
I've driven past several.
This high education doesn't.
I haven't been around it either.
I'm the same.
But, I mean, obviously.
Yeah, you know, corn roads.
Yeah.
My friend used to go cow tipping.
Oh, yeah.
My friend I used to live with.
That was one of his favorites when he was at community college.
We went to the Ball State.
They would skip class, and they would go to this farm,
and they would tip cows.
That's what we do.
Now tipping's out of control.
And then he got into Notre Dame?
No.
No, no.
No, he dropped out of Ball State.
Transfer from Ball State to Notre Dame.
He dropped out of Ball State.
Oh, you lived with him after.
Yeah.
Probably a pretty fun guy, right?
Yeah, he's the man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's see where you're at. This weekend. I think we're done, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are we out of the state? Yeah. He's the man. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Uh, let's see where you're at this weekend.
We're done,
right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No,
no,
we're done.
Uh,
you're in Florida this weekend in Florida.
I'm in Florida this weekend.
Go to Nate show,
go to mine,
your choice.
I've seen Nate show.
Where's your show?
I'm in Palatka,
Florida,
church of the Heights,
free show.
So let me drive home night, night. Just show. So we drive home at night.
Just remember that.
Where's that at?
It is about an hour from Jacksonville.
Okay.
Just remember it's free.
Just keep that in mind.
If you want your money back, just remember that.
Yeah.
There's a local Christian radio station that paid your ticket.
And then February.
They didn't buy all the tickets.
We'll play it out.
We're generous, but we're not.
Come on.
We're a business too.
Let's see how many people show up.
If they did BOGO for their own thing.
This one is get one, get one free.
This is GOGO.
The top GO-go comic.
The top go-go.
What is that?
Just a free show.
Get one, get one free.
I did have a show when I walked off stage in Kansas City in front of, what, 16,000 people.
Felt so great.
Walked straight in my dressing room, looked at my phone.
I had a text from a comedy club coming up in the future and said, hey, so far we've only sold
eight tickets. Do you mind if we
do some discounts? And it's just a great
just bring you back
down to earth, just reminder of
100 yards from the stage.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's great about comedy.
Yeah, that's the beautiful
It is. I've had those texts.
You'll get brought down to earth real quick.
That's the beautiful, it's the Absolutely get that that's the beautiful it's the
absolutely that's the because it's it's the truest form of you like you you just you're in charge of
that you get a salt like i know it's but you are the one that gets to go well then i gotta figure
out whatever i love it yeah i love it yeah so this weekend i'm in, uh, Plaka, Florida. Uh, I got the comedy catch coming up in Chattanooga,
uh,
March 1st,
Manhattanville,
Michigan.
Uh,
and then we'll go from there.
This weekend,
Friday and Saturday,
I'm in Toledo,
Ohio at the funny bone.
And then Sunday night,
I'm going all the way from Toledo to Oklahoma city at Bricktown comedy club.
That's so Toledo and Oklahoma city, Bricktown Comedy Club. That's Toledo and Oklahoma City.
Bad routing, but it's going to be a fun weekend.
This weekend, I'm in Tulsa, Oklahoma, all weekend at the Bricktown, I believe.
Bricktown and Tulsa.
I've never been to the club.
I'm excited.
I like Tulsa a lot.
I've always been a big fan of the city of Tulsa.
I don't get to go there that often, and so I'm pumped.
Yeah, and I'll be in Estrezo, I think.
I think it's Fort Myers, Estrezo, Florida.
See some cows.
And Orlando.
Yeah.
Yeah, show me your cows.
I'd like to see them.
All right.
Love you.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Yeah.
It's a big day for a lot of people.
And see you next week.
Bye.
Bye.
Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me,ate bargetzi and my wife laura on the audio
boom platform recording and editing for the show is done by genovations media thanks for tuning in
be sure to catch us next week on the nateland podcast