The Nateland Podcast - 193: #193 Food

Episode Date: March 27, 2024

This week, Brian shares highlights from his big weekend in the Pacific Northwest, Nate gives us a rundown of his weekend in Vegas and Boston, and Aaron reveals that he'd like to become an auctioneer. Plus, the guys wish Nate a happy birthday by looking at other famous birthdays and events from the month Nate was born. Finally, the guys get to the topic of food by looking at the food pyramid and a list of the best and worst foods to eat. ButcherBox- butcherbox.com/nate ButcherBox is offering our listeners their choice of a weeknight meal essential—3 lbs of chicken thighs, 2 lbs of ground beef, or 1 lb of premium steak tips—for free in every order for a whole year. Sign up today at butcherbox.com/nate and use code NATE to choose your free offer and get $20 off. Robinhood: http://robinhood.com/boost Robinhood Gold gets you the most for your retirement thanks to their IRA with a 3% match. This offer is good through April 30. Get started at Robinhood.com/boost. Factor: Factormeals.com/nate50 Factor is the perfect solution if you’re looking for fast, premium options with no cooking required. Head to Factormeals.com/nate50 and use code nate50 to get 50% off.

Today's episode of the Nate Land Podcast is brought to you by ButcherBox, Robin Hood, and Factor. Hello folks, and hey there, welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slick. All right. As usual. Welcome. We're here. Big, you know, big weekend.

Y'all had a big weekend, right? Yeah. Yeah, we did. You were in Vegas, right? Yeah, my weekend was crazy. Y'all don't go to, right? Yeah. We did. You were in Vegas, right? Yeah, my weekend was crazy. Y'all want to go do yours? I'm just trying to... Save the best for last.

Probably. No, I don't know. I mean, you know, we can do it whenever. Well, I was at Tacoma Comedy Club. Oh, yeah. That's right. In Tacoma this Friday and Saturday. You know, I tell them on stage about me seeing that dead horse

and how you stole that joke from me. Yeah. How now you're selling out arenas and stuff and that everything. That last show, late show Saturday, I think they took it serious. I like, they didn't laugh. And I was like, guys, I'm joking. Yeah. Everybody else laughed.

But they were like, I think you might be serious about this. Like, what do you mean? Like, you tell us. I would just say, last time I was here, I was with Nate Bargatze, opening for him, and we drove out to Mount Rainier, and I saw a dead horse. Basically, I just recited your joke, and then I said that you stole it from me,

and now you're selling out arenas and all that. Okay. Yeah. Thanks. And they were like, boo. Well, they laughed. The last crowd was like, I think he might be serious yeah oh yeah you'd already done it like four times probably right so by the fourth time you're like it's well rehearsed now so it seems like yeah yeah it feels more real yeah but um it's like the first show if you have like a crowd work moment or like a

like a an observation about the club you say it it's funny you're like all right i'll do this all weekend but like and it works every time but by the end you're like i'm sick of this the staff has got to be sick of it they're like oh here we go again you feel a little gross yeah yeah well i mean they might not even know me. Like, you get some. Like, I mean, I think some obviously will. But, like, there could be someone who'd be like, what? I don't think I told her on the Friday Late Show because there weren't a lot of Nate Land fans there.

Yeah. But the shows were. It didn't look like it. Did you ask? You can sometimes just go out and you go, I don't think this is. Oh, yeah. You can sometimes just look at them and tell. Yeah.

But I think the host would usually ask and stuff like that. But the shows were great. Three out of four sold out. That's awesome, dude. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow.

Big time baits. Yeah. That's what I call myself. Yeah. That's really crazy. That's awesome. Thank you. Thank you.

And just so happened, coincidentally, Aaron was in town for corporate. So he came in a day early and did guest sets. Brian let me open for him. Yeah. It was great. On every show? Except the one he had to do the corporate. Yeah.

For three out of four. Was that the one that you didn't sell out or the one that you did? The one that he was on. That was the one with probably the most Nate Land people was the one i didn't do yeah he missed the saturday early show yeah yeah yeah but uh so he might have hurt you on that late show the one that didn't sell up aaron might have hurt you yeah because then you were going to be there they knew aaron was going to yeah i think word had gotten out word got out and they go i can't yeah nice i want baits i don't want anybody else yeah but it was awesome i'm here for breakfast i'm not here for brunch

it was in a it's in a breakfast place yeah the club is it's attached to a breakfast place wow well this is your club this is that's what i'm talking about yeah yeah i'm taking a special day i did on my iPhone this weekend. Yeah, Brian will text it to you if you guys reach out. The special. Yeah. Dropbox. It's going to be.

Not even that new special coming out on Google Drive. Airdrop. Yeah. Just walk near Bates and you'll get his new special because he has an open airdrop. Like YouTube and iTunes? Yeah. I didn't ask for this. You'll just be on.

Every time someone starts a car, it's just, hello, folks. I have one album on my phone and every time it's Dusty's first album. Making that fudge. I'm so sick

of it. Every time I turn on my car you just start talking. I can't get rid of it. How do you fix that? Mine baits his album. Either his or Mike Vecchione's. Easy out. Mine will be his or Vickie owns you gotta just sometimes

chad daniels i have chad daniels i have like but it's always comedy and you just if for some reason it's like comedy is the one you don't want because you're just like just let me you got to buy an album you got to just buy an album in a higher higher alphabetical order maybe aaron weber and then oh yeah oh yeah yeah never download errands because you'll never get anything higher yeah i didn't buy errands because i would because that would have popped up yeah but my but i mean how does apple because it just automatically starts playing like that stuff is that really fixed they had to figure it out there's probably a way around it but yeah you know it takes three, but it's annoying every time.

I forget until you turn on the car, and there's Dusty talking. What's the opening joke? It's a goldfish joke? I'm jumping all around now. Credit score. Yeah, I think so. It's a good joke. But it was fun to watch you do.

I hadn't seen you do a full, like, you don't know, 50 minutes. It was great. The shows were hot. Yeah, they were great shows. I hadn't seen you do a full, like, you don't know, 50 minutes. It was great. The shows were hot. Yeah. Yeah, they were great shows. And so Saturday, Aaron and I got invited to go to a clothing store to be fitted for clothes. Right.

Christy Johnson, Dusty had already been to her shop. I started this movement. She's a huge Nate Land fan. Aaron and I were both out of our element, I would say. Yeah, they paired us with a stylist and were like, you need to try these outfits. We came in. They knew us. They already had outfits picked out for us. I walked in and they were like, we're going to take you out of your comfort zone. I know you wear a lot of Carhartt. That's what they told me me and they're like brian i know you got a little more classic style yeah they're so nice the way they worded it yes we were trying out all kinds

of stuff but some stuff you walk out and they go nah that's not you or whatever but we landed and they they hooked us up with some great outfits brian was wearing them that night oh new new people they posted a video of it uh too which we shared but um so then she's so nice and and uh she runs purpose boutique and there's a few shops like nine or eight or nine in the uh home area this is uh purpose men and then she said go put i mean she hooked us up and then she said, go put, I mean, she hooked us up. And then she said, go put your clothes in the car and then we'll go get some ice cream. And so Aaron and I went and put our clothes in the trunk

of the car. And then we walked over and got ice cream. And then Aaron and I walked back to our car. And it's not there. Aaron's rental car is gone. He got towed. Oh, he got towed? I was parked in a private lot i didn't see any of the sign once you've been towed i saw all kinds of signs out there i was like oh

no i validated my parking in the ice cream place that's how legit i thought it was yeah i get back it's gone right so i call the towing company brian's got a show in a little bit i've got a corporate gig later that night so they say yeah we just towed it we missed about like five minutes yeah they go it's not even at our lot yet it's on the tow truck so it's gonna be about an hour before you can come get it so i was like oh so brian uber's back to his hotel i moved back to my hotel i wait an hour uh i call the tow truck place they go well since it's a rental car you're not allowed to get it back because you're not the legal owner of it, right? Yeah.

So I was like, oh, geez. I go, well, like all my stuff's in there, all my camera equipment, all the clothes we had just gotten that Brian was going to wear at the show that I was going to wear at my show. It's all in there, right? So they say, well, if you show your rental agreement, you can get your stuff. So I was like, oh, thank God, right? So I'm on my way there i called an uber i'm about to go get the stuff before my show i look at my rental agreement

it says that i took an suv from the airport i didn't i had a toyota camry yeah the rental agreement has the wrong car on it oh so i can't i can't go get my stuff from the from the tow truck place so just for the next six hours i'm on the phone trying to get somebody at enterprise to answer and they just will not i cannot get a human being on there dude so i just uber all around the city i go to my show i uber to brian show and then uh i'm calling enterprise this is what they told me to do they go nobody's answering the phone there so i talked to a general customer service guy and he's like well you should just just uber to the airport there might be somebody at the counter like 45 minutes from the airport yeah yeah i'm not ubering to c-tac on the off chance somebody's there so

anyway i yelled at a couple people uh that i don't think they understood what i was saying but uh it's fun to yell though i do like that i even told a guy i go i know this has nothing to do with you but i'm pretty frustrated right now favorite line yeah and then i then i love that line because what do you do yeah it's like it's not your fault but whose fault is it right you're the only guy i'm talking to. So anyway, I didn't get, I went there at like, I didn't get my stuff like midnight that night.

I convinced the guy. He was a stand-up comedy fan. Oh, really? Yeah. Had never heard of me, but we talked about it for a while. Yeah. And then he can,

he let me grab our stuff out of there. But that tow truck is still, still at that lot. And I called. The rental car you mean? The rental, yeah, the rental car. I called everybody

and I was like, I don't know if y'all know that this is there, but I'm leaving town. Yeah. You know, I'm gone. So I'm on a plane back to Nashville and I post on Instagram. I don't even know if I've told you this part of it yet. I post on Instagram. Hey, Enterprise.

I tagged him. This car is in an impound lot in Tacoma. Good luck. I'm gone. Then they respond and DM me. And then I get an email. Only after I post about it publicly. Oh, yeah.

You see people trash companies online. I always judge them for it. But it was literally the only way somebody would get in contact with me. So I've been emailing back and forth. They said it was my fault. I should have known to email them instead of call, like everybody told me to. But anyway, it was such a great day and then it was just a horrible day yeah it flipped quick you're like oh man now i'm just ubering everywhere yeah

yeah you still had your rental car yeah you were so i mean you even have a better day when that happens you're like that could have happened to me and you did it and you're even a little more excited you're both renting cars out here all the time like that? Yeah. No, the only reason I rent is because I had to drive to Portland on Sunday. Yeah. Normally, I probably, well, I don't know, from Seattle to Tacoma, that's a pretty long Uber. So I probably would have rented a car anyway.

Yeah, you don't like renting cars? No, I didn't rent one this weekend because I had a little traveling to do. But yeah, I always just Uber. I Ubered from Seattle to Tacoma. Well, this is the first time I've had a problem. And I am looking for a different company because that was the worst. That was the worst customer service experience I've ever had. I always liked Avis.

With anybody. Avis, maybe I'll try them. I did Avis for a little bit. You know, Hertz. But I mean, they're getting, it's all customer services. I think you're going to run the same problem with everyone.

You're probably right. The country's falling apart. Yeah. Well, also, well, they have Turo now. You know, I mean, you could try Turo

and I mean, there you could rent, I mean, you can, I mean, halftime Turo, you could rent a Mercedes for the same price

as a Camry. I mean, they have Corvettes you can rent. That would be not too much more than just a regular car with other things. And then when you get that towed, that'll be a huge deal. But you're straight up talking to a dude. That's all I want, dude. You're calling the guy that owns the car.

I just want a person to talk to. You're like, hey, you remember that Corvette you let me rent from you? Yeah. I got it towed. I don't know. Your rental car is still in a towing lot somewhere. Probably, dude. Nobody from Enterprises let me know if they got it.

You're just paying every day. Who knows what the bill will be? I'll probably have to pay whatever they have to pay to get it out of the tow lot. I kind of accepted that. But, dude, it's not at a certain point. It's like I've told y'all it's there. Good thing you got a corporate gig, you know. That's right.

That's right. I might have broken even on this trip by the end of it. Yeah, we'll see. Now, the downtown club where you were at, you can walk from the hotel to there. But I was at one where I would have would have an uber every day oh yeah out there so anyway but then um so christy wanted us wanted me to wear my new digs to the show that night and i text her i said hey i'm sorry to tell you this but aaron's car got towed our clothes are in there we'll get them but i'm not going to be able to wear she was coming to the show with about 30 friends and she said i'll bring you a new outfit yeah i'm like well i was also

meeting a friend of mine i grew up with hadn't seen like 20 years for dinner i was going to go straight from there to the club and she's like what time you get in the club i'll i'll meet you there with a new set of clothes i'm like don't worry about it she's like no no no no they don't even have a green room that you can really i had two female openers i mean i'm gonna have to just go in the men's room hey how's it going yeah a whole i mean she had shoes the whole everything she hooked it up yeah she hooked it up yeah and she wasn't gonna take no for an answer so i'm pulling in and there she is waiting for me on the sidewalk with a whole new outfit so that's another good thing aaron's car got me another outfit well i'm glad i could help you out and um i went and changed into it and and where'd you change on

stage the when i got there she said i talked to management they said that they'll clear out the green room for you and let you go in there i was like i don't think there's a door on on that green room she should be your manager yeah she should she should be your manager. She's getting it done. And she is getting it done. How do they not have a green room, but then they do have a green room? It's a really small green room. I didn't think there was even a door on it, but there is one that slides. And I had

two female openers. I wasn't going to ask everybody to do all that, but they did. They stepped out and pulled the door and well i changed well you look sharp dude yeah you look sharp thank you yeah it's amazing uh you've got clothes like that can really did you feel a difference confidence wise no it i got used to it but it was so different than at first i wasn't feeling comfortable on stage like my shirts untucked i like a tucked

in shirt you've always had more of a classic style yeah classic that's a good one yeah like she said she's got me wearing stuff why did you not tuck in the shirt because she said it doesn't tuck oh um but i had a great set so that i got more and more comfortable on stage so then i told aaron i said i don't know in portland now i'm going to a whole new place I don't know if I'm going to wear one of these new outfits or not. Aaron said, you should just do it. I was like, I don't know. And then she texted me yesterday, don't let me down. I'm like, she is not going to let up.

So I did. Last night in Portland, I wore a new outfit. And he said it was a hot show. It was a hot show. So Christy is my manager. Thank you, Christy. Let me tell you this, dude. I don't think, outside of of funerals and weddings i don't think i've tucked in since high school yeah i don't tuck in the second somebody's not telling me to tuck in i'm not

tucking in i love tucking in sometimes i don't know i don't do it because it's i don't think it's always the most flattering for it's definitely not for me but i I love it. I love tucking. I tuck in the shirt underneath. If I get back down to real skinny, you're going to see. Hello, world weight, you're going to be tucking all. Yeah. Hello, world. And you tuck in the undershirt when it's real cold. That way the draft can't get up in your.

I don't think I've worn an undershirt since high school. I like a belt. I like a belt, too. I'm a belt. I like a belt. She told me, don't wear a belt with it. Yeah, that's a new thing. You can if you want, and I wore a belt.

Yeah, I can't not wear a belt. My pants are going to fall down. No, yeah. I definitely need one. Yeah. So then the late show... So I was selling merch after every show, and I had my little card reader

that plugs in my phone. In between the first show and the second show Saturday, all of a sudden, my card reader won't go into my phone. And I'm like, what is up with this? And I'm telling Aaron about it. He's like, yeah, it happens, you know, whatever. And I'm just like, I guess my card reader somehow, like, who's stretching out these plugs? That's how

it felt. But I thought, it's gone. I get back to my room that night my phone's almost dead i cut a plug in my phone my charger won't go into my it won't stay in my port because it's too loose and i'm like it's just falling out it won't connect yeah and i'm like what i'm looking at my phone did someone switch my phone it literally felt like that it would not stay in in. I'm like, what is going on? And I Google, like, when your charger will stay in, and it said. You got some wild stuff. Dirt or lint can get into the port, and it can cause it from connecting. It said take a toothpick.

Yeah. And clean it out. I've done that. I don't have a toothpick in the hotel room. You don't have one in your shirt pocket at all times? With my pocket knife? Yeah. I took a coffee straw and was trying to do it in my hotel room. Probably doing surgery on his phone. Yeah. And I looked, as far as I could tell, it looked clean, but it will not go in. So I looked up the Apple store

at Tacoma Mall. It opens Sunday at 11. So I just turn my phone off and go to bed. And then I get up that morning and I've got like 4% battery. And so I write down the directions to the mall, like step by step. So I'm like, if my phone dies, I don't even know how to get there. That's how you're going to do it anyway.

But yeah. And I'm like, I got to go to the mall. I mean, I probably lived the first 30 years of my life without a cell phone. But now, if you don't have your phone going out in the park, you feel so vulnerable. I texted my wife like, hey, I love you. I told her what, like, if I don't get back, that's what happened. That's what you did to me.

I'm in bed at midnight. Brian texts me. My phone's about to die and it won't charge. And I was just like, good luck. Yeah. I just went to bed. I said, let me know you get to Portland. So I made it to Coa Mall and go to the Apple store and the guy looks at it.

He's like, he shines his light in there. He's like, I think I see something. And he's like, let me take it in the back. And I'm like, okay, that's like somebody taking your child away. And he can't see it. And he comes out. He's like, yeah, there's some pocket lint down in there. It plugged right in.

Really? Yeah. Which is so crazy. he's like yeah there's some pocket lint down in there and it plugged right in really yeah which is so crazy it just goes from plugging in fine and all of a sudden just like it falls out like it won't even connect but just some dirt yeah that seems crazy maybe he just threw it against a wall when he walked out there yeah he just walked right there just boom and then because yeah we go yeah maybe maybe that's the first time apple's never charged me for anything oh yeah he's like you're good to go i mean y'all feel like y'all go on the road and just run errands in these towns yeah you're busier than you're at home i know i came home to get some rest yeah well you're you forgot the part where you're leaving the club you lost

your keys for about 40 minutes so Well, it wasn't 40. There's one person left at the club. We're still looking for Brian's keys. I don't think you guys should be ready. I was like, man, we are a mess out here. I know. That's what a weekend on the road looks like with me and Brian. Everything's a mess. Portland was great.

So many folks came out. They brought me gifts. They brought you guys all Oregon State hats. Oh, nice. And they're downstairs. This is the alternate hat for the Eugene. Exploding Whales. Well, yeah.

I forgot what their real name is. The Dynamite Sharks. Exploding Whales. You think that's a shark? Yeah, I thought so. Okay. You don't think so? I could see a little bit.

I don't see a real sinister whale very often. A killer whale? Yeah, but that's pretty sinister. I know, but a shark would have a fin, right? Not the telltale sign. Well, the fin could be covered by the... Yeah, it could be. I feel like if you're drawing a shark, you find a way to put the fin in.

Why don't you not go like, is this shark holding a carrot and they go what i can't even join this conversation i'm like there you go what are you talking about yeah what are you on the well carrots exploding well yeah but i made it to portland it was great flew home this we did morning. We did it, dude. Let's never do it again. Walked around downtown Portland last night for the first time. Yeah? Yeah. How'd that go? Great.

You were armed. Had a great time. Yeah. Looking for your keys. Well, I went to, last week I went to L.A. for a couple of days. Did some podcasts. Did some random things. A lot of fun.

Real tiring. Went to Whitney Cummings' house, did her podcast, realized how much money I don't have. And I was like, geez, okay. But it was great. Had a great time. Did Tom Papa's podcast, Ryan Sickler. It was great. It was a lot of fun. And then I went to – I flew to Omaha, Nebraska. I rented a car, drove to Lincoln, Nebraska. Had a great show. Then I drove to Iowa City, Iowa. Yeah.

Great show. Theaters, right? Theaters, yeah. Two theaters. Didn't lose my keys. Didn't get towed. Great time, really. A lot of fun. A lot of Nate Land people came out. It was great. One lady brought me a shirt that said something like, that's what I do. I garden and I know stuff. And I was wearing that. And

then I was holding my son and he threw up on it so i had to change but uh that's why you're wearing this yeah very i got a very supportive titans gear today very excited about the year now that we got rid of our you know dead weight coach and the best running back of all time and uh it's looking good you know we've signed a lot of good players i have no idea what's going on but yeah i'm excited that henry is going to the uh the ravens so i think that's pretty exciting yeah it's fun yeah and uh but yeah it was a great weekend two theater shows hot i did uh you know i did one show in nebraska where nebraska was you know playing a basketball game about the same time as me. And then in Iowa City, Caitlin Clark, is it,

was playing in that city while I was there. Oh, wow. You could have went to that game? I could have, but I slept late in Lincoln and barely made it to my show. Wow. I didn't barely make it to the show, but I was cutting it close. Yeah. It was great, though. I feel good. I'm pretty tired. I flew't really make it to the show, but I was cutting it close. Yeah. It was great, though.

I feel good. I'm pretty tired. I flew and drove a lot. LA is exhausting. Just trying to get somewhere is just the worst. Yeah. Just trying to go anywhere. You're just sitting there.

Mm-hmm. Everywhere you go, you're just sitting there in the car. Yeah. At least everybody's happy and nice and everything. I don't know. It's debatable. He's joking. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. I was going to say. California is pretty happy overall. Yeah. Happy cows. Yeah.

I think you go and go to LA. I just kind of like, you enjoy that. It's going to take a long time to drive. I think I'm not driving a ton anyway. So here, because I'm not in my, I'm not driving a ton anyway. So here, because I'm just traveling so much. When I'm out there, you're like,

it's just part of the experience. It's like, yeah, it's like you just kind of go like, yeah, it is. It's going to be this. It's like when you go to a ball game,

you know, the drinks are going to be $15. You just write it into the experience. Yeah. Yeah. You just go like, all right, that's a good way of looking at it.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we're going to go here and it's one mile away which will take an hour. You know, like fine,

all right, well, I'll just get in and look in that. Well, I hate it and I have a hard time looking at it that way. I wish I could. Being in the car,

I must be going. I must be going in the car. I'd rather a long drive than just sitting there and traveling. That's where you go to LA, to Turo. That's another one. You can go to Turo. They can rent some crazy cars on Turo, and you can get something fun. Like a motorcycle, and then I could zip up in between cars.

You could do a motorcycle, but you could rent a Mustang. Or go rent something that you're kind of like, oh, this is this is fun it feels different then you don't mind being in the car super fast car to sit in the traffic exactly well just being yeah but just being cool like just make that's true you accept what's happening yeah and then go i'm gonna make this thing you know yeah if you're in a old you know corolla then it's going to feel... You're probably Uber, I assume. Yeah. People from my management will drop me around.

Yeah. That goes a long way. It's nice that they're doing it, but yeah, I'm still like... You're really using the managers to full extent. Yeah. Go. You tell them. i don't tell them

but they go i land at uh 11 30. yeah and i mean they offer and i go yeah i'd love to do that yeah but i i will uber too if it's like you know like one day we ended and i was like this is he like lived on that side of town and i I got to go back to another side of town. I go, I'll just Uber back. I'm not going to make him do that. But yeah, I mean, you know, they're working. I'm working. Let's hang out.

Yeah. Well, Tacoma Comedy Club probably thinks I'm the most pretentious comic in America. This guy's showing up with a stylist. I was backstage one time. Staff came back there. Guy never even talked to me. He said, hey, your stylist is out here. We'll know how these clothes are working.

I'm looking at my phone. I don't even look up. I'm thinking, boy, somebody's got it. He's talking to me. Yeah. He's like, this guy's got a stylist. They call him verification Bates. Oh, dude.

I forgot. I forgot my favorite part of the whole story. After the car got towed, I took it. We were back to the hotel. And I get in the car. And, dude, I would bet all the money I have in the car got towed, I took an Uber back to the hotel and I get in the car and dude, I would bet all the money I have in the world

that that guy had just used the bathroom in his pants. I mean, I would bet money. Who had? The Uber driver. Oh, no. I mean,

I stepped in the car and I was like, what happened in here? The worst, the guy must have been having an emergency. He took my call and he just let it out in the car. And I said, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, dude.

And he talked the whole time. And I was like, can I please roll the window down? My head's out the window like a dog. How'd you rate that guy? I gave him five stars. Yeah. But you didn't hit the other thing. There's an experience.

There's no option for the driver. yeah you know what i mean that's part of the experience he goes so what are you down for you have to accept it yeah i go i'm just visiting friends i'm back there like talk it out of my mouth i'm visiting friends he goes so what do you do i go i wait tables he goes oh interesting and he talked me out of waiting and it just smelled so bad bad the whole time we're stuck he missed the turn to the hotel he's like oh i gotta circle back around yeah i might just let me out i'll walk it yeah i'll walk the rest crazy yeah what did uh you just so you always say wait tables all right i think we talked yeah if it's like the tow truck guy ended up talking

with him yeah i'll do in comedy and stuff yeah but when it's like the tow truck guy, I ended up talking with him about doing comedy and stuff. But when it's just like an Uber driver who just soiled himself, I'll just lie. Yeah. That's where you draw the line. That's where I draw the line. You take a sniff and you're like, nah. You're like, I do comedy and I'll be talking about this ride on a podcast that I do. Listen to that Nate Lamb.

I'm not going to say his name. You remember his name? Yeah. Yeah, I remember everything about that car. Well, I do Lyft. And so when you rate people at Lyft, there's four other options after you give the rating. It'll say like above and beyond, friendly driver. Clean car.

Clean car, safe driver, stuff like that. And you can hit all four of those. Clean car. Clean car, safe driver, stuff like that. And you can hit all four of those. So when I want to, when I don't like the ride, I still give them five stars, but I won't do those things. That really shows them. Well, I'm just like, I'm not, you got to do something really bad. I'm not trying to mess up your livelihood.

Yeah. Yeah. But I'm just like, but if they're really good, I hit all those things. But if they're really good, I hit all those things. But, yeah, I think even if it's really bad and you don't hit the stars, you're either – I guess you could not hit them and you don't rate it at all. But, yeah, you're just like, I don't want to – if you put a one, you're like, I'm probably going to get emailed.

Well, what happened? Right. And then now you're in it with some – and you're like, dude, I don't want to be a whole thing. It's not up to me. I didn't enjoy the ride, but hopefully I never get them again. Well, I'm guessing you had a

much different weekend than us. How'd it go? Yeah, I mean, I actually liked y'all's weekend better. Just everything that went the way I wanted to go. What you'd expect. Yeah.

My week, I've looked forward to this week for a long time because I knew it was going to be like an insane week. We went to Vegas, so I do shows at the Wind. So we were at Vegas Wednesday, two shows a night, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday. You have Thursday off, which is nice. You said wind? Wind.

Oh, it sounded like you said shows at the wind. Encore, wind and encore. That feels like a Bob Seger song. Yeah. Shows at the wind. Against the wind. Wind and encore. So, yeah, I haven't even seen it.

So, yeah, it was, so, uh, yeah, I mean, so yeah, it was, so yeah, so we're at the, uh, this is not Las Vegas. You've seen the video, uh, but it's, uh, so we get to the win and then, you know, hang out. Greg Garcia came down, uh, hang out with us. It was very fun. Gary Veter, Nick Novicki was there, you know, my dad, my nice friend Rick. And so it was – and then my buddies from – my buddy from high school, Mitch, and his wife Casey came along.

So it was March Madness. So that was already fun. Well, I mean, they're betting on – I was never big at betting on games, but I did it this week with them, and it was very, very fun. on games but i did it this week with them and it was uh it was very very fun and they would do uh i mean nick bets on anything in every game uh he has you know they pulled the receipt to albert i mean he's just going through it's like a book does he follow college basketball no no no no i mean no one you know college basketball is getting to a point where you like really don't know who these kids are. You just kind of know teams kind of or whatever.

But so it's the whole but the whole week was like super fun. Just gambling, Gary Veeder. Like it's we were just Garcia is so funny and so fun to play with. And he just I mean, he signs up for all the chaos that we're that is among us uh so we played all the shows the bakes were awesome we had a lot of fun i was trying to think if there's anything any fun uh you know nick it's usually nick stuff uh but so then we had a show and we had a show. It was crazy. It was midnight.

We're in Las Vegas at midnight. And we had a show at 3 p.m. in Boston in Eastern time. Wow. So it would have been, yeah, midnight. And so we technically had a show at noon, right? Yeah. 12 hours. Yeah, 12 hours.

So we had 12 hours. So we got to Boston. It was basically just kind of taking the little naps on the plane, little naps right when we got to Boston. Uh, it was basically just kind of taking the little naps on the plane, little naps, right. When we got to Boston, uh, and then, uh, and then we did the Boston garden at 3 PM. Uh, and I was like, it was, it was, uh, I, like when we, when I said I was going to do this weekend, you know, at first it was like, I don't know, I should have canceled like some of the Vegas just to not have it. But then I was like, you know what, let's just go.

Let's just do it because it's, hey, it's just crazy. And the Boston Garden was nuts. I wore this, my Boston Celtics shirt. It was insane. We went, usually they would try to walk to where they sell the gifts or the gifts or the you know the shop the team store yeah and so usually it's in the arena and so we go down and since it's three well we go look at it and it's it's it's just out in the by the train station like there's a train station underneath the garden and so we're just like they take us down you're like i'm just it's people waiting in line to get in the show and i was like i don't

this might not be good but i mean i made it in the store and i just had my hat down and a hood on i mean i guess no one's going to ever think you would be walking around the gifts you know right outside the venue yeah uh and as you walk past your line of people, yeah, the Boston Garden was, you know, yeah, pretty surreal. Did you go in the locker room or anything like that? I think we were supposed to, but I mean, it just wasn't as normal of a trip because everybody was just kind of so tired

and just kind of, I'm not tired, like you get pumped up for the show, but it's, you know, you're just kind of like, you just kind of – I'm not tired when you get pumped up for the show, but it's, you know, you're just kind of like, you know, just like, oof. Like when you're not on the show, you're kind of just sitting, you're watching some games. How many people are there? Do you know? I want to say it was close to 30,000 for both shows. Gosh.

And, yeah, it's crazy. And then over the – I mean, because then Vegas Saturday, so I believe it was a 24-hour period I did four shows. Wow. Because I did two in Vegas. Let's see. That was seven. First show's at 7.30, so that's five.

10.30 Boston time, yeah. Yeah, 10.30 Boston time. So, yeah, you did all these within 24 hours. Yeah. That's pretty crazy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I.30 Boston time. So, yeah, you did all these within 24 hours. That's pretty crazy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've never done that. That's crazy. Yeah.

Tough to beat that day. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, two shows, four shows in 24 hours. But it was great. I mean, the whole week was fun, and it just was, you know, there's us hanging out from the boston cells julian was there with us as well and it was your birthday it is my birthday uh happy birthday yeah thanks for saying something took y'all 38 minutes today's your birthday exactly

i think i've mentioned y'all's birthday every time at the beginning of a thing. I was waiting. I had some stuff about your birthday. Well, maybe just say that. I thought it was going to be in your story somehow, so I was waiting to let you know. When would I say? I mean, it is my birthday. I don't know if there is a story about it.

And today is the actual birthday. Yeah, but I know you celebrated it this weekend. I was waiting on you to bring it up. You had a McDonald's hamburger cake. That was awesome. Yeah. So, dude, Boston Garden, they put this such a cool idea. They put that a big, it's a happy birthday, Nate.

It's a giant card. I mean, it's, you know, five feet high card. And they put it out in the concourse and just let fans sign it. Oh, that's cool. So then they gave it to me after the show and it's just a bunch of happy birthdays, have a great show. Like, I've never,

that was the nicest thing ever. Yeah. And then that's a cake. That's like one of those, Harper watches all these cake things, you know. Is it cake, one of those shows? Yeah. Yeah.

And I mean, it's unbelievable. Would you rather it be cake or an actual McDonald's hamburger? I mean, I am getting, I think I'm getting McDonald's tonight. I already told Laura, I said I'm probably getting McDonald's. Like, when they cut this, you're like, ah, it's Cake. I want it to be half and half. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I mean, at first I did walk in and was like, is that just a big hamburger? You were like, those fries better not be Cake. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, at first I did walk in and was like, is that just a big hamburger? You were like, those fries better not be cake. Yeah. The fries were just paintings. Yeah. So it was. Yeah.

I mean, I've never seen one of those cakes in person. I mean, it's wild. Yeah. I mean, such a crazy thing uh so yeah the whole the whole thing i mean uh yeah people are so nice they're right like you know that's awesome yeah 30 000 people that's all that wanted to sign it though yeah we asked everybody and i, found 80 people who are like, who is it for? Whose birthday? No, they were, it was, yeah, it was just super cool, man. I mean, just a crazy, crazy experience.

Nick, Nick's parents were there, which was great. And you know, his dad was just, I mean, his dad's been to that arena watching all these shows and all these games. And so he was telling and all these games. And so he was telling us about these games. Vitor's dad probably has too. Huh?

Vitor's dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably he's already been in the locker room. Yeah. Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was wild. So, yeah, I mean, I don't know

if there's anything that crazy we posted on. But if you're listening on Nate nate's instagram homeless pimp mike uh films a lot the footage from this stuff is great if you want to get just like an idea of what these shows look like because it looks insane dude yeah like the crowd shots and everything oh yeah he does great yeah it looks yeah it's fun it's showing we're having a good time we're having fun time it was uh yeah i mean it was a you know it was like it'd be fun to go uh do the boston garden again uh and not be tired no i wasn't it wasn't i'm not saying i was tired in the show but it was just a wild it was like i did it to like be like you

know what this is like kind of feels like you know it's that extreme like you, you know what? Let's just do it. Yeah. Let's just do it. Four shows, 24 hours. And then let's... It's like, who was it? Was it Queen that did Live Aid? And they did it in London and then flew to New York or Philadelphia and did two different continents in the same day? Oh, really? Oh, wow.

That's the comedy equivalent. It may not have been Queen. It was one of those bands that did that. I feel like they've done something New Year. Can't you do that New Year's Eve? You could technically celebrate. You could ride with it. I bet. Yeah, just follow the sun around the earth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Laura, my mom and my mom came up. My dad's there and Abigail's there. And so it was everybody, you know, it my family's there and uh derek did not

derek did not come but it was uh i forgot about derek yeah the middle brother we had an autograph that or someone signed the thing that said this is from a middle child so you probably won't see it happy birthday that's funny yeah uh but yeah yeah i mean. I mean, so I don't know. I don't have some big. I like y'all stories more. Your stories are more fun. Mine were just, you know. I thought they were all great. Yeah. I liked everybody's stories.

I mean, I think we all had really fun weekends, but I think we all agree our favorite. It sounds like an ad read. It's not. Yeah. My favorite thing all week, though, was that roast of John Crist. That was so much fun. That was a lot of fun, huh? You guys had a good time with it. Who's who of comics there? Yes. so much fun yeah that's a lot of fun huh you guys have a good time with it yeah who's who of comics there yes yeah oh that's right yeah a lot of comics

that he didn't even know but i'm still glad they joined us they opened it to the public yeah and well no one told me uh i brought that up on stage did you that you were going to be pretty upset about it yeah what did they say no we can handle it yeah yeah they go who yeah there was a guy that looks like you yeah i pointed out yeah oh yeah there was wasn't there yeah i mean i thought dusty snuck in yeah dude it yeah this dude looks like he says that you know he's everybody thinks he's you it was your hat glasses glasses, long hair. It was John's tour manager. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. I used to call him Rusty Slay. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, so he looked like you, and that was enough. So maybe they just had a feeling. That was enough. They had their quota. How much can he have of this? Right. And he's got to be there.

He's his tour manager. Yeah, he needed to be there. Also a guy that knows me, so another person that could have invited me out to this thing. What would you want to say to John? I mean, do you have any roast stuff? Well, you know, he doesn't want to hear it. So, I'll save it. We could send it to him.

No, I'll send him something one day. I'll roast him on my own time. That's right. Oh, yeah. You're going to send him a – who else? Someone send a video. Dustin. No, Nickerson.. Send him a, who else? Someone send a video. Dustin. Nickerson.

No, Nickerson. Someone else did a video. Our buddy, Court McCown. Yeah. Because he was there Thursday. We golfed. And my buddy Rich was there and we golfed all of that. But there, yeah, Court was like, they played my video.

I was like, no. And he was like, they didn't play it? And I was like like no i think lucy watched it and did him a favor yeah he loved it oh did he really oh yeah he loves it uh i don't i don't know if it would i had to watch the whole thing you watched the video yeah you think that would have gone well at the actual thing uh i didn't you know i had to look him in the eyes as I watched it. He goes, what are you dressed up for? Yeah, he did. I mean, he put a lot of effort into it.

How did you guys do? How were your jobs? I mean, it was really funny that he goes, Court goes, they play my video? I'm like, no, they never played it. Not at all. So I did. The three of us went up together. It was a lot like this podcast.

I had to carry us because I was the only one prepared. I wrote some jokes. You guys all went up at the same time. Yeah. Rolled Nate Land. That's right. Yeah. That's cool. I wrote some jokes. Old school Nate Land. That's a lot of fun. Yeah. We went up making fun of the fact that that's what he does.

I would have loved that. He was there. Yeah. The Dusty guy? Yeah. He was front row yeah great time yeah johnny's and he came yeah he goes pick me or dusty and we go obviously yeah he put us back in a corner yeah uh so i like my dj line yeah you had you had some good you the two of y'all really really took it too yeah and then you said something nice at the end. You did. You tried not to say anything nice.

What are you talking about? You go at the end of it. I had you. You were like, all right, we'll see you. Like you're. No, I said. Yes. No, that's not what I go.

We love you. But you were like, you were like, well, hold on. Yeah, you go. You go. Good night, everybody. Like it's a regular set and i go hold on he pitches dates i like to claim my time uh yeah whatever they reclaim whatever they say in this thing uh yeah but no he always said something nice did you say something nice i don't know if

you did after after you started it he wouldn't have said anything well Nate said probably the nicest thing of the whole roast at the end so we were like we'll just let him have it yeah yeah yeah but when we got off

Derek Stroop who was hosting it we get off oh another guy that knows me that's right yeah Derek Stroop Hannah was there yeah yeah

your wife and kids were there Sam is growing man yeah Derek Stroop when we get off Derek Derek Stroop goes, yeah, that's just like the podcast. I'm good for about five minutes on it, and then I'm ready.

I'm ready to turn it off. Oh, let's hope Brian says something dumb. We'll get a couple zingers out of that. I mean, trash does. It was funny. It was good. It was good. We'll do another one.

You'll do it. Yeah, he'll be 40 in five years. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, this is a real 40 we're going to celebrate another 40 for him all right because he stays the same age it's the opposite of that saying yeah they get older i stay the same age what that is the same oh is it no the saying is I get older they stay the same age

they stay the same age alright you're right he gets yeah they get older I stay the same age yeah

that would be alright alright oh your guys comments uh Hope Waller Florida is the scapegoat Hope

Florida is the scapegoat for all of America as a Floridian it feels like great it feels really great to hear four non-Floridians back us florida is the scapegoat for all of america as a floridian it feels like great it feels really great to hear four non-floridians back us up florida's the best glad y'all liked it too yeah florida is the best though yeah whenever i see comics trash in florida i'm always like you never been there huh no no no they've never been there no no they don't it's a perception i mean you're kind of used to it if you're down if you live live in the South, you're just kind of used to it.

People just have a, they think what it is. But everybody thinks what New York is. Everybody thinks what California, you know. Everybody's got their thing. There's good people everywhere. Andrew Kong. Boat ramps experiences at Panama City Beach include being burned to lobster status and being told he looks perpetually worried. While Dusty rode the strip, had a life-changing toe fungus

and got his nipple pierced. Very different. That's true. I bet we've had a lot of very different trips. Yeah, I'd say so. Dusty and I would probably have never hung out together until right now in our lives. Yeah, I don't think so. Actually, when I met you, I was about a year sober. You had to wait. Yeah, it was a good time for us to meet and hang out. Yeah. How many years sober were you at that point, Brian?

Which time? My senior trip in high school or college either one yeah uh chris scott aaron's experience with the devil's itch yeah yeah you're the one that cursed uh aaron's experience sunburn reaction made me feel so validated. I've had this happen twice. One time being on a big family vacation, everyone thought I was overacting or crazy. And after being in severe pain for hours, I finally thought to put ice on it to stop the itch. Worst thing I've ever felt in my life. So ice. Ice didn't do much for me, but I've had, you know, I've had a lot of people reach out since the podcast episode and a lot of people uh shared their experiences with me i'm a bit of a medical advocate on this

podcast yeah i'm an example for gout survivors the survivors of uh the devil's itch yeah all kinds of stuff is this guy saying the ice helped he says yeah pain for hours i finally thought to put ice on it to stop the itch. Worst thing I've ever felt in my life. Yeah, I think he's saying the ice though because I think he just said worst idea I ever had. Okay. But I know what you mean. So ice, did anybody else say what they did?

Yeah, they would say the same thing. Hot shower or Benadryl or peppermint oil, a lot of people said, which I tried, which did nothing for me. But, you know, what do you do with peppermint oil? I mean, where do you go get this stuff? I don't know. How about castor oil? Did you try that? No, like, what do you fry stuff in?

No, I think it's more of like a skin oil. Okay. Maybe like canola oil. I'll try. If they told me to get peppermint oil, you'd be the first person I'd call. Yeah, I can help you with it. I got some. Yeah, I was about to say.

Yeah. I wouldn't even know what that means. I don't either. Marshall Barker. Marshall Barker. That's a good name. Marshall Barker. Yeah, that is a good name. The largest cattle ranch in the United States is in Florida

and happens to be owned by the mormon church the desert dessert desert i think desert cattle and citrus ranch is over 300 000 acres the church is also the largest land loaner land owner in florida wow i didn't know that i didn't know they had florida yeah you know I had a friend named Marshall one time. I'm in Charleston. He had just moved to Charleston, and he was my friend. I met this guy named Marshall. And we hung out, and we drank together for like two years, right?

And then he moved back to his city. And then he came to a show of mine, I don't know, about four years ago. And then I hung out with him. He brought a bunch of friends. I hung out with him. He brought a bunch of friends. I hung out with him. He had a hotel party going on. And I was calling him Marshall. And apparently that was not his name. His name was something else. I forget what it was, but he decided to go by Marshall in Charleston. So just this two years of his life, he was this guy named Marshall. And then I find out that he's named something else.

I think that's weird. His friends thought it was weird that I was calling him Marshall. I thought it was weird that that wasn't his name. It is weird to just take on a whole new identity. Was he in the Witness Protection Program or something or just a personal choice? I just think he moved and was like, I want to be somebody else. Start fresh. Yeah. Maybe he was and was like, I want to be somebody else. Start fresh. Yeah.

Maybe he was the sheriff. Called him Marshall. Yeah. There's a kid in my dorm in college that everybody called Batman kid. And every day he would wear the same thing. He would wear a trench coat and a Batman t-shirt underneath it. Every day. He was known around campus as the Batman kid.

At Notre Dame? At Notre Dame. Yeah. Everybody said he would sleep upside down. it every day he was known around campus as the batman kid at notre dame at notre dame yeah everybody said he would sleep upside down i mean there are all kinds of legends about this kid right but he lived in my dorm and then they did an article about him in the paper when we were like seniors and they asked him why do you wear batman stuff he's like i don't know when i went to college i just wanted to switch things up a bit was not even really a big batman fan he's like i don't know when i went to college i just wanted to switch things up a bit was not even really a big batman fan oh never wore the shirts at home but when he went to college he just wanted to pick up a new identity wow yeah and then so you know it's a strange one he picked but yeah it's a strange one i don't see how that was very helpful with the ladies or anything i

mean i don't know who am i to judge you know he was a nice kid and uh you know we wore trench coat the batman he's like when i go to college i don't want to Who am I to judge? Yeah. You know, he was a nice kid. And, you know, we wore trench coat, the Batman shirt. He's like, when I go to college, I don't want to have a lot of success with women. That's one thing I want to make sure of. Yeah. And who knows? I don't know. He could have been doing great. I don't know.

I imagine not, but I don't know. We did have one thing with Nick and my dad. I forgot. I don't remember. But I guess they went up. Nick had to go see some friends, and so they went up to go see him in the suite, my dad went up, and then we have this on video, I haven't seen the video, and so, but they go up, and they knock on the door, you know, Nick can't see anything, so he knocks on the door, the

guy opens it, the guy's like, Hey, like, I guess they're going up there during my set. And so they're going, so they go up, I'm on stage. And then the guy goes, Hey.

And then, uh, he's like, as he asked him, this person's there. And the person's like, well, they're not here,

but come on in. And it's, he's at the wrong number. And he looks at it. And so he goes, huh? And he looks, he goes, ah, it's 14. and so now

they all so these people just are watching the show they just saw him perform just saw him and my dad perform and then veder went too so the all the all the opening acts now are just looks like we're going they're going around during my set and just knocking on doors. Crashing. Crashing parties. And they're videoing it. And so Nick just, I mean, he's like, hey. And he has to walk in. And he's, I mean, just confused. And he goes, it's 14.

He just puts it up to, you know, he puts his phone next to his eyeball. It's 14. Yeah. All right. Yeah, that's great. Let's 14. Yeah. All right. Yeah, that's great. Let's see. We also had a bet this weekend on some game. Greg Garcia, his old eyes.

We're supposed to bet the over, and he goes, yeah, we bet the under. Okay. Great. Josh Young. okay great uh josh young dusty's a true man of the people barely takes the time to watch nate special but all over the youtube comments with the folks i like to be interactive yeah i like to get in there did you get in there this week now you know i got to the airport i had to nashville now is this weird thing where we have like these t terminals so i fly american i got the admiral's lounge thing but if you're at the t terminals you're way away from it so i was in a different

spot so it wasn't it i wasn't the same yeah i wasn't able to just kick back you know the t term was right there as soon as you go through yeah it's very convenient for that but it's like it's not close to the lounge oh that's too bad yeah yeah uh sarah chaya chia sarah chia in 2024 the 13 year and 17 year cicadas are both emerging the last time this happened was in 1803, when Thomas Jefferson was president. The Louisiana Purchase had just been made, and there were only 17 states. It's going to be a big year for the cicadas.

Oh, that's this year. A lot of stuff's going on this year. That's right. Yeah, it's a wild time. Oh, yeah, eclipses, cicadas. It's going to be fun. Mark Swisher. I mean, hopefully.

Yeah. Yeah, I hope so. It's all good things. It'll be different. Yeah. I mean, I hope it's fun. I'm just saying, I don't know. I mean, it could be bad stuff that comes.

What if these cicadas don't get along with each other? They both come out and they're like rival gangs. What are you doing out here? I bet they forget each other. Well, I think the cicadas will be fine. I bet they don't recognize each other. They go, John? You have aged. That is

crazy. The last time was Thomas Jefferson was president. In 1803? Yeah. Mark Swisher. Clip-on ties have a bad rap but there is a tactical reason for wearing them all secret service agents on security detail wear clip-ons so the tie can't be used to strangle them when they get into a tussle some police forces do the same thing that's why we're watching And you would do it. And theirs looks pretty good. You don't think to, you wouldn't know that.

I would not have known that just looking at them. I bet, I bet you're, we're not far from having clip on ties. The clothing tends to be going to very loose, easy to get off of, comfortable. Right.

So I, clothing is not going the opposite way. It's going, I mean, I don't even like it, and I dress like this. Like, I mean, I like, you know, I do like it, but I also. Well, I was talking to my stylist, and she said that that is the trend. Yeah, it's headed this way a little bit in 2024. I wear all white Cole Haan sneakers and a little bit 2024 i wear all white cole hon sneakers and a little blanket hand no it's not i just was trying to make a joke i think it's cole hon i think you said it right

my dad told me one time he got into a fight with a guy he was younger and the guy got him by the tie and my dad said he pulled out his pocket knife and cut the tie off and then beat the guy up wow that's awesome that's what he said that sounds like a scene from a movie yeah yeah i would tell that story a lot too yeah well he told it to me but uh i don't know who else he's telling it to but he didn't stab the guy no he didn't want to stab him he just was like don't get me up by my tie like that sounds like something j Jason Bourne would do. Yeah, I know. It's a fun story. Yeah.

Yeah. Took out his own pocket knife, cut his tie off. Hey, can you open this for me? Yeah. Aaron Yontz. Aaron Yontz. Hello, folks. Per the usual, Dusty's right about pretty much everything.

What are these comments? All right, come on in. I grew up in the cows and oranges part of Florida, and it is, in fact, as southern as southern gets. We drink sweet tea, eat swamp cabbage, pick and eat oranges straight off the tree, and enjoy the landscape of old oak trees, countless lakes, and gorgeous sunset. Dusty was also right that Johnerson is one of the sleeper heroes of 90s country that's what i'm talking about i mean i get it guys i know i mean as soon as you

guys realize that i think that's what dusty said i wouldn't think a name aaron yontz would even if you told me that sounds like something marshall bark would put in. That's true. And Aaron Yontz, I don't see. Aaron, E-R-I-N. Spelled that way. I mean, come on. That's the biggest surprise post I've ever seen in my life. Aaron Yontz is going like, yeah, we're eating oranges off trees and swamp cabbage. It does sound amazing to just sit out in lakes

and oak trees and pick an orange right off the tree and eat it. That sounds amazing. Just get sunburned, just lit up by mosquitoes. It sounds amazing to me.

It does sound nice. Yeah. John Anderson had a big song when I was a kid called Just a Swingin'. Oh, yeah. That was a big... Great song.

Big song. Swangin'. Yeah. it was really swangin yeah yeah a little charlotte she's as pretty as the angels when they sang yeah i can't believe i'm out here on the front porch in the swing just a swangin the backup singers were swinging yeah that's good it's a great song you know when the bible talks about angels though they're never beautiful they're like always pretty terrifying so if you're like when you tell a girl she's as pretty as an angel it's like i don't know if that's a compliment yeah they're pretty terrifying looking like are we talking about ezekiel angels they are not good looking yeah covered with eyes they say oh six wings yeah too many

wings yeah that'd be a much different song yeah yeah it's a rap battle yeah look like an angel up in here i wonder why angels would be considered maybe some are you know they say Lucifer was like a beautiful angel. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, that still wouldn't be a compliment to women. I know. You're as pretty as the devil. Yeah.

Yeah. You might be a Lucifer. Ezekiel Smith. Oh. How about that? Yeah, that's crazy. That audacity of despair, Obama joke deserved more. All right.

I got it in the moment. I went to Notre Dame. Aaron is carrying the weight of this podcast on his broad shoulders. You don't have to throw an insult in there in the compliment. Aaron put the team on his fat back this episode. Broad is good, though. For a man, broad is good. Yeah. Aaron's getting this podcast by the skin of his fat back this episode. Broad is good, though. Aaron's getting his podcast by by the skin of his yellow teeth.

You don't have to throw an insult at Ezekiel, but I appreciate it, man. I think broad shoulders is... I think you want to have broad shoulders. Like Atlas. He had smaller shoulders. What if he said, put the weight of the podcast on his narrow shoulders

that would have seemed good maybe just don't throw an adjective in there okay just say on his shoulders yeah this guy went to Notre Dame though

he's got a broad vocabulary I'm sorry I came for you so hard Ezekiel I appreciate it man he's got a big vocabulary go Irish Jennifer M I died laughing when Nate said can you imagine someone using a picture made after your show Go Irish. Jennifer M.

I died laughing when Nate said, can you imagine someone using a picture made after your show and they cropped you out? Because I got a picture with Aaron after one of his shows that I thought I looked pretty good in, so I cropped him out and used the pic for my office badge. All right. That's pretty good. Yeah. You have your hand around her? I all right that's pretty good yeah you have your

hand around her i mean that's the only i guess so maybe you can just maybe it's just behind crop it in close enough i had a lot of people this weekend go come take a picture me you and brian and i'll crop brian out later oh yeah yeah that's kind of the trend yeah i've seen a couple of those there was one yeah your face cropped halfway out uh that's pretty funny, that's kind of the trend. Yeah, I've seen a couple of those. There was one, yeah, your face cropped halfway out. That's pretty funny. Yeah. That's a fun trend, though. Yeah.

I mean, people are posting a lot more. Just seeing one little part of me, but they're having a good time. Yeah, it's fun. He's in there. Elizabeth Hernandez. Hello, Baron. Hey, folks.

I saw this news story and immediately thought I needed Dusty's take on this. My kids love the pods, and it's questionable yet educational content. That's what we want. What is the news story?

I can't wait. This is an article that the explosive quote, devil comet returns for the first time in 71 years during the April 8th eclipse, NASA says. A rare and massive comet with a devilish nickname is set to pass by Earth for the first time in 71 years and may be visible during the eclipse, according to NASA. How about that? Now, Dusty's torn, I can tell, because he's concerned about the eclipse, but he doesn't believe in comets.

So he doesn't know how to respond to this. I think that I've gone deep down the eclipse rabbit hole now, and it's wild. I mean, I'm not afraid, but I even found a video last night, like a Prophecies Watcher video. Prophecy Watcher video. Prophecy Watchers video. Yeah. And these guys, they've been predict. They think that it got very local, but very close to home. They predict the destruction of Nashville sometime after this eclipse.

I was like, whoa, these guys are not from Nashville. Well, I predict it sometime after the eclipse, too. Five billion years from now. But specifically Nashville, they predicted. And I was like, whoa, this is weird. For what reason? Well, I don't know that they know the reason, but they even got right down to thinking that a fireball would come down on the Parthenon.

Oh, okay. Well, at least it's there. would come down on the Parthenon. Oh, okay. Well, at least it's there. Because the Parthenon, you know, was like, you know, pagan, you know, pagan statue inside.

Yeah, it is. I think that's, and then, but it is funny to go, why do they think that they go? I just said what they think. Well, I'm going to get so specific. Apparently, a lot of people had had dreams about it, and these dreams were like

the exact same dream of a fireball destroying nashville okay interesting as long as it hit that mcdonald's up there by the studio park that's right yeah spring water lounge yeah uh i just thought it was wild and so i was like because i had watched part one just kind of about the eclipse and then i watched part two last night and i was like whoa and then i watched part two last night and i was like whoa my nashville you know what i mean like of all the cities i would think that would be getting some judgment i was like well nashville we're doing all right we're doing all right yeah have they been right about other prophecies you think uh yeah i mean i don't think anybody's predicted a prophecy of destruction that's uh

and i don't watch these people all the time these are not sure these are not people that i'm leaning into i just i just got on an eclipse algorithm now so i'm just watching a lot of different things about the eclipse and then i saw this and i was like well that's pretty wild yeah yeah yeah and i'm not saying i'm you know afraid of it but i'll you know likely try to be out of town yeah you won't you won won't be at the parthenon right yeah i will not be taking the parthenon it's going to happen that day in there either way no one knows i mean none of these guys are saying we know they're just saying that the people have had these dreams and um you know and and then it just seems you know that the eclipse did come it's like when you look at like certain prophecies like uh like joseph in like Joseph in Egypt, he said there'll be seven years of feast and then seven years of famine.

So we had an eclipse that came through Nashville, and then seven years later, we're going to have another eclipse coming through the country. And we don't have these type of lunar eclipses all the time. Or so whatever this one is, we don't have these type of lunar eclipses all the time you know or so whatever the whatever this one is so we don't have very often right so to have them kind of back to back with a seven-year period in between is pretty strange right yeah that's the point and i'm not saying it's going to happen either i'm just telling you these people on a video that i you know don't really take seriously said this but um well if you're not gonna be in nashville where are you gonna be uh farm maybe in a a cave somewhere

farm yeah yeah not in nashville right yeah i'll probably be out in mcminnville hanging out you know yeah i watched a bunch of videos this weekend of uh like an auctioneer class i might get into that oh yeah yeah it's just a guy teaching you how to do it was are you serious your dad was an auctioneer yep was that his full-time job he's a realtor and auctioneer yeah oh my gosh i didn't know that did he teach you how to do it a little bit a little bit can you do it now i was hoping it's a lot of pressure that if you don't nail it, everybody's going to be. What do they do? You know what they do? It went to auctioneer school and it's just kind of teaching you the rhythm and

all that. Yeah. And inflection and stuff like that's important. Was he really good at it? Yeah. Oh man. That's a cool skill. I don't know what I'd use it for, but I'm really fond to pull out? Really only one thing, auction. No, but it'd be a fun thing to pull out in conversation. At a party? Yeah, but you would have to go like,

all right, I'm going to auction this pin off. And then... That's how you would do it at a party, though. No. Let's start at a quarter. I got nothing to turn on. Sold. That'd be fun.

But if you heard somebody talking about auctioneers, then you just pull it out. I could make TikTok videos. I follow an auctioneer guy on TikTok. Yeah. Yeah. See, I could do that. Do you ever go to cattle auctions?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I would write a bit to do on stage just to use that auctioneer voice. I would just find a reason to use it. So, all right. i didn't know that yeah could you go to uh so yeah what's auctioneer school like you just it's just a school for yeah they should be auctioneer yeah i bet there's not a lot of them so i mean you probably get some work and i bet they make some good money and if you can get some big big things like you get those

auctioneers that are doing. Those charity events? Charity. Yeah. Like doing real high, high things. Oh, yeah. I did a corporate event with an auctioneer guy. Yeah. So have I.

Then maybe if I knew how to do it, I could just go. Don't even worry about hiring an auctioneer. You get two. I'll do both. Just pay me both. Yeah. I'll do the time and I'll do the auctioneer. How would you want to do it though?

Would you want to. Like, cause say you did. How about. Say you did the comedy first. Right, and then it didn't go well, and now you've got to be the auctioneer. I would do it like announcements when I host in a club. You do it in the middle, right? You do what you get, and then you end on some material.

Okay. Yeah, I'd find a way. I'd make it one. I think you've got to end on the auctioneer. And you would have to have the auction thing be comedy. It almost be like they would just hire you to be like, I'll run your auction. I will also be funny up top and tell some jokes. And then I'll start leaning into it. And you can be like, I know, I know, I know.

And you do that when you're like the guy in the red shirt. You go, what's wrong? You make fun of that guy. You just make it a whole thing. Is there a reason they use that voice? Or is it just, it's just known that that's the auctioneer voice so it feels more legitimate?

I think it's building some tension. There's the speed involved in it. You're like, do I want to bet on this? Do I, oh, yes, I'm going to go. You're creating a high pressure. Yeah, I think so. Okay. You can just scream at people too.

And we can be the handlers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because they're taking bits that's right yeah that's right what if they did normal they go all right we got this pin for an auction five dollars i'll do five five five dollars ten dollars you could do i'm doing slow you think you'd get less money if you do it that way i think people would get annoyed i've seen

those too i think those are just boring. It is exciting when you hear the guys start to go. Just if you can look up an auctioneer, like the best. Do you have videos on YouTube from back in the day? No. I wish I could find this. Who give 10, 10, 10, 15, 15, 15, 15?

Do we got 20, 20, 20, 20? I bet 15 is a tough one for them. It seemed like you had... I bet they're saying, like, you don't say, you know... Oh, yeah. Yeah. This is the auctioneer champion. Oh, this guy's going off, dude.

Golly, yeah. That's like speed auctioneering i mean even faster than normal yeah at what point you can't even understand what the guy's saying yeah at a certain point you become so good that it becomes a bad for the auction that's almost too fast this guy i follow tiktok auction auctioneer he has um he has a become a auctioneer apply today auctioneer you.com oh he has his own university yeah so that's out there if you're looking for that all right dude one of these days we're gonna forget about this tiktok auctioneer i'm gonna come in i'm gonna come into the podcast yeah and just find a reason to use it. It's going to blow y'all's mind.

Yeah, they get in a zone too. Yeah. I do like the idea of being in that zone. Like it's a zone that you're like that person in that moment is in the most control of that room even though the room feels like there's no control. That's a great it's a great great feeling it's a i mean the guy's a master at it like you go because you're just

like if you're sitting there you go what is this guy talking this dude just like he knows everything it's like slow in his head and he's just you know he knows every knows every 75, 75, 75. Yeah. Well, that's not bad. Well, you did pretty good. 75, 85, 95. Anyway, I got it. The cattle auction was always good when I was a kid. Me and my dad would go there and it's like, you know, you're just in a barn. They just showed it on that video. Yeah, yeah.

You're in a barn. It's like this, but this was like, you know, small, like Roanoke, Alabama auctioneer, but it smells like a barn. Yeah. But show them that barn. It looked, I bet it looked a lot like that. And then the cows just coming through, the cow kind of gets paraded through. Yeah. But this is, there's too many cows.

Yeah, I know that. But yeah, this would be one cow at a time. Yeah. I used to go, I loved it. Yeah. It's kind of fun to sit back and watch. And these old farmers are just – And overall, it's probably got tons of money.

I like to just watch the different ways they bid. And you're trying to buy which one's healthy? Yeah, you're just trying to – I'm not sure what's going on with all those cattle at once, but my dad would do personal property for people, and I'd have to get up on Saturday morning and go to somebody's house and just clean out all their junk and put it out on

these ply boards to auction off. There's like a house that got repossessed or something and you have to auction off. Or someone died and the family wants to... Okay, an estate sale? Yeah, an estate sale. They want to sell their parents' personal belongings.

Yeah. So it's just a lot of box of odds and ends here. You just don't know how to categorize it. You can't do every little thing at once. Oh, it's probably going for nothing too, some of it. Yeah. So it's like an overhyped yard sale. And what would he get?

He gets a percentage, right? Or he gets a percentage of all the overall sale. Yeah. Oh, so I never thought about that. So the auctioneer has an incentive to drive the price up. Interesting. never thought about that so the auctioneer has an incentive to drive the price up yeah interesting so there must be some science behind this voice and the and everything yeah they're trying to get it going but i mean like that's probably the worst ones because you're you know you're like all right

you go to one of these houses you're like i'm not gonna i'm not gonna make anything yeah yeah you know it's uh and you probably have one if you you have any idea, I guess of what it would go for. Yeah. I mean, when he would sell land or houses, I think they had a general idea of what they at least agreed about what we hope to get. They like, you would guarantee it or there's like a guarantee. Like you're, you're like, I'll do it.

Lowest would be a thousand dollars. Yeah. But I'll try to get it up for you yeah yeah but I'm not you know I bet that's what the

the bigger they get the more they can do that hmm I had no idea why don't you switch it off at home I wonder if they're at home

and you're just like I'll take a little coffee and hang it out kind of like yeah it just comes out my dad would practice I'm just around the house yeah I mean kind of like your would practice i'm just around the house

yeah i mean kind of like your dad doing magic yeah just kind of gotta keep fresh it's like an open mic if you haven't had an auction in a while you gotta it's him that's so crazy the amount of time i've known you and i just learned that yeah isn't that crazy you think i would have known that i think i've told it on previous episodes. I don't know if you have. I never heard you say that. I feel like we would have talked about that. Maybe we did. We might have done an episode called Auctions. I don't remember.

Last week. I never heard you talk about it either. I didn't know your dad was in real estate. Do you have people in your life where you think, there's nothing new I could learn about you at this point? Or do you think there's always stuff that you can find out i mean that's dusty with the nipple ring last week that was a new one i would have guessed that yeah that's true i guess that is true i think you may have one right now did you still do it i don't know i actually i got it

re-pierced one time too and uh too. But it's pretty painful. I don't know that it would be worth doing. I don't think it was ever worth doing. You don't know if it would be worth doing now? Do you have tattoos? No tattoos. No one has tattoos here? No.

My wife has a tattoo. No, I wasn't really. Tattoos were, like, there wasn't a lot of rules that my dad had. But, like, no tattoos and no earrings. I kind of got a little technicality with the nipple ring and the eyebrow ring. I feel like you got an eyebrow ring, too. You got the worst. Your dad would have thought that was way worse.

Yeah, but I could hide it a little better, too. And he always said no earrings. So I'm just like, I'm getting technicality. Well, you said no earring. But I was already 18 by the time I was doing these things.'m getting technicality. Well, you said no earring. But I was already 18 by the time I was doing these things. Eyebrow ring. Yeah.

Yeah, I had that. I mean, yeah, you know, and I'm just being cool out here. Yeah. You know what I mean? Do you ever have the cowl thing around the nose? No, no. Is that a septum piercing? Yeah. No, only eyebrow and the nipple.

Okay. Maybe two, yeah. two of the worst i actually got i got real drunk and i lost the uh the the ring one time and i wanted to get it you know go buy a new one the next day so i i broke off a piece of a broomstick and stuck it through i didn't want it to heal up in the night, so I stuck it through. You mean a bristle from the broomstick? Yeah. I woke up in the morning and had blood all down my face.

I was hung over with blood all down my face. Splinters? Yeah. It didn't work out. It is your birthday happy birthday thank

I did look up some other celebrity birthdays Nate was at the top of the list but after him was Elton John okay

oh yeah I was about to ask who's really at the top but I think Elton's got you beat yeah in age he does Sarah Jessica Parker.

Okay. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Aretha Franklin. Yeah, I was about to say Aretha. I was going to do the ones who are alive first. But yeah, Aretha Franklin.

It kind of starts going down a little bit after that. But Tom Glavin. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. That's coming back up. Yeah. Well, you're right. Laura found that one.

Oh, yeah. Laura found Tom Glavin. And I don't even know this. She's an Olympic runner, Sha'Carri Richardson. I think she was recent. She knew. Yeah, she's maybe the one with the fingernails. Yeah. Jenny Slate.

Danica Patrick. These are big time. Now, let me ask you, if you meet any of these people, Nate, are you going to bring this up? Yeah, I know Jenny Slate. I didn't know she had the same birthday. If you meet Danica Patrick, will you go, we have the same birthday?

Yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah. Just get the ball rolling a little bit. Yeah, it's just something. Yeah, conversation starts. You have something. How do you not say it?

You should go with, we have the same astrological sign. Yeah. Oh, when's your birthday? March 25th. What? Whoa. astrological sign. Yeah. Oh, when's your birthday? March 25th. What? Whoa.

Apollo 13 astronaut James Lovell. Whoa. Okay. We're getting into your world now. Yeah. I look at you. I know. I love the movie, but you remember when it happened. Now we are going downhill, though.

Well, Gloria Steinem. Who's that? That's what I'm saying. You have a poster of her on your wall. No, she's like a women's activist. Well, Gloria Steinem. Who's that? That's what I was going to say. You have a poster of her on your wall. No, she's like a women's activist. Oh, okay. Attorney. Attorney, yeah.

I thought she was a singer. I guess. Right? I think she represents women in some cases. Yeah, I think so. Get specific with it. I'm afraid I'm going to be wrong. I mean, maybe you should Google her before I say any more.

And then two SNL alums, Alex Moffitt and Chris Redd. Oh, okay. I know Chris Redd. Yeah. No, I don't think Gloria Steinem is an attorney. I think I got her mixed up. She's a singer, though? Probably just move on.

No, I don't think she's a singer. Yeah, she's a big singer. Yeah. No. She's got a microphone there. She's an activist. I think she's about to hit a... It's from a karaoke night. I think that picture was. She's an a microphone there She's an actress From a karaoke night She's an auctioneer

Wow she's 90 today Well happy birthday Happy birthday Gloria Number one song On March 25th 1979 You'll never get this She does feminist auctions

Can't buy me love. The number one song the day he was born? Yeah. March 25th, 1979. Can't buy me love. That's a good guess. I think that was probably the 60s. Was it Eagles?

Was it Eagles? Nope. The Bee Gees. Oh, okay. I was going to say that. Tragedy? Yeah. It's not even a good one.

Favorite Bee Gees song. It's a tough day. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It replaced Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive. Oh, Gloria Gaynor. That's not even a good one. Favorite BGC. It's a tough day. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It replaced Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive. Oh, Gloria Gaynor. That's who I'm thinking of. You were thinking of that.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. How about that? I Will Survive to Tragedy. I Will Survive was number one. Mm-hmm. And then the song that followed was Tragedy.

Nate was born in Tragedy. Yeah. Pendulum Swings Back always. Yep. Yep. Yep. Wow. Number one movie was Norma Rae starring Sally Field. the song that was born tragedy yeah pendulum swings back always yep yep yep wow number one movie was norma ray starring sally field that was filmed in opelika where i go really yeah how about that what is that movie about she's trying to get a union right yeah uh textile mills and the union yeah something not good well she won an oscar i think or something okay what i mean is it was they

wanted the setting to be oh yeah she won an oscar i don't know if it was for that though well they needed uh they needed a you know a place where they had some textile mills but they had a scene with her and burt reynolds in a hotel called the uh golden cherry motel and the golden cherry motel is still there wow burt reynolds is that movie too? Or whoever the love interest is. Because that's Smokey and the Bandit. Yeah, but she was in the Golden Cherry Motel in that. I thought it was Burt Reynolds,

but maybe it was somebody else. I figured you'd be all about Smokey and the Bandit. It seems like your kind of movie. I do love Smokey and the Bandit. Okay. And then the number one TV show, Laverne and Shirley.

Oh. So there you go. That's a different world. It's a 45. Yep. So there you go. That's at a different world. A different world. Yep. Got to get that colonoscopy now. I thought it was later. No, they moved it to 45.

When? A couple years ago. Yeah. Yeah, things change. I thought it was like 50. Used to always be 50, and then lately they've changed the guidelines to 45. You can also just do whatever you want to do

and not do that at all. I just had my second one. Jesus goes for fun. It's the worst, right? It's a good way to lose some weight. Is it? Oh, yeah. I mean, everyone says, I guess it's true, the night before, the day before is the worst.

Yeah. And then going for a surgery. But why is the day before the worst? You have to drink a bunch of stuff to clean you out. I've done that. I've had one when I ruptured my appendix. I drank the stuff. Actually, I enjoyed it.

You feel lighter, don't you? Yeah, I enjoyed it. I was like, I'd do this. I should do it for the special. Yeah. You'll feel, I mean, you really will. Yeah, I liked it. I was like, yeah, I'll do this every six months. Wow. thought i liked it i was like yeah i'll do this every six months yeah wow you can't eat for a day and you're going to the bathroom a lot yeah

but the day i did it was that it was back in january when that crazy snow week and there was my appointment was in the morning and there was another thread of snow that afternoon and while I'm there you remember it like do you remember a child being born like the details of it I had my bad bad

ego there was a storm that day I feel like I need these details for the story okay so there was

thread of more snow the doctor's office decided we're closing up at lunchtime and sending everybody home. So they, I assume, had to call anyone who had an appointment that afternoon to say, don't come. So that means all those people had already went through the procedure of taking all that stuff, being up all night or whatever. And then they're like, don't come.

And they'll have to do it again. Wow. Yeah, I think I feel like I've heard something like that happen. Or someone did it. I was thinking someone did it recently, and then it was like, I don't know, maybe someone I know. They did it where it was, then they had the wrong day or the wrong week or something.

Your dad? Probably probably sounds like something your dad would do yeah i feel like you just gotta let them do it you know you're like y'all you already drank the drink all right we'll do it when i did my sleep test to find out if i had sleep apnea i stayed up all night until the appointment because that's what they tell you because you want to be able to fall asleep when you do the sleep test. And then I showed up, and it turns out the appointment was to schedule the sleep test. So I had stayed up all night for no reason. I was so tired when I got there.

And they go, yeah, we'll do the sleep test on Thursday. I was like, oh, my God, what a moron I am. That's what I was going to say because I had to go there and stay the night and sleep yeah i don't know what i thought i was like it's weird that i'm doing this at 2 p.m i just want to say sally failed won two oscars okay one for best actress and a leading role norma ray oh okay and then one for best actress in a leading role places in the heart yeah well it was easier back then. So it wasn't on Mariah. There are fewer movies. All right.

I'm glad you looked that up. I feel like they won movies, though. You knew the people that won the Oscar. I feel like you know them now. I think there was like a fame. Who won it this year? Well, this year, I think it went back a little bit because I agree with you. But this year, Oppenheimer.

So it was more actors that you kind of know a little bit. Yeah, Robert Downey Jr. Cillian Murphy. This was where she had that thing where she said, they love me. They really love me. Okay. You said Eddie Murphy. Did you say Eddie Murphy?

I said Cillian Murphy. Cillian Murphy. I was like, Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy should have won an Oscar for Nutty Profound. Yeah. Come on, that's a hot movie. Played every role. Yeah.

Yeah, it's crazy. Well, all right, so you just quoted that line that she said. Yeah. That's why I thought she won the Oscar for something else, because it came up on my feed today. That was March 25th, 1980-something. It's 1979. When she said it at the – well, that was that he was born then.

I think she said that line when she won her other Oscar. Oh, okay. But I think it was today. You know, Sally Field is only 10 years older than Tom Hanks. But why would she say that on her second Oscar? I just looked at their birthday. The second one, she's like, yeah, of course you love me. I want two of these now.

That's a fair point. I don't know. But 46? Let me just scroll up one second until the exact age's like, yeah, of course you love me. I want two of these now. That's a fair point. I don't know. What's 46? Let me just scroll up one second until the exact age. Oh, yeah. She's 77. Tom Hanks is 67. Isn't that easier than the math?

I think there's a- You had it all on the one line, except you just beat it up once. I think there's a Mandela effect that her name is Sally Field, but we all say Sally Fields. I do say Sally Fields. Yeah. I didn't even know that until you just said that. The Mandela effect is that she is Sally Fields, but they've changed it.

Henry Cho did a movie with her. The Mandela effect is... I thought we talked about that. Yeah, we did. But what was it? It's like saying that we remember things a certain way, but they really aren't that way. A collective misremembering of a world event.

Yeah. You ever see that movie where she does stand-up? Punchline? I've never seen it. And Tom Hanks is in it, too. He's a comic. Yeah, he told me he never did a comedy everybody there's things that say he did stand-up and i thought he did stand up i thought he said he never did a comedy i'm like i can name a few yeah no he did stand-up comedy i there was a thing the other day i looked up like actors that have done stand-up

comedy and he's on there but he never did i the one time i met him i i asked him because that movie punch line uh and he said he never did he never did stay because i never done it he looked like a stand-up in the movie yeah oh yeah yeah the movie i didn't watch it again it's great incredible actor the movie's like it shows like they have lockers and yeah that's the crazy part of this there's a locker room at the comedy club yeah they get off stage and they got a towel and yeah that's the crazy part of this there's a locker room at the comedy club yeah they get off stage and they got a towel wouldn't that be something that would be great it would be awesome like to make it feel like i mean it would be great yeah would stuff me in my locker yeah yeah you bomb and you're gonna hit the showers yeah yeah

yeah that's crazy what happened out there i tell you i tell you, I don't... I like a locker, and I don't know if I would really need a locker anymore. I've found never really a time where I'm like, I need a locker. You wouldn't put a show shirt in there, maybe the shoes that you're going to wear, and then you show up to the club and you throw that on? A lot of golf clubs have lockers, locker rooms.

Do you use it? Yours? No. What about a tripod? Just keep it in there, so when you get there you could look at that i know i got a tripod at the club yes oh yeah you set up a camera in the back of your shows no do i no i never did that i'm joking now now in the celtic arena yeah it's

back there with a little tripod phone on the truck yeah zoom out a little bit yeah yeah well we have it filmed now I have this one yeah the jumbotron yeah yeah just go where's the good spot

for this well they would do it at theaters y'all would do it I think you go set your phone up in the very back of the theater

which is not the best I brought all that camera equipment no room in there because Brian sold out the shows that's what I do that's a good problem

where there's no room to put a camera I wonder if I just missed out on the – I started to – Too early. Where just people didn't film. We didn't have iPhones then. Yes.

And cam recorders weren't good. No. It was like more of a hassle to do it. You could bring your recorder, like a little recorder. People would set those on there. But when I started, there was no reason you'd be filming, so I just never have done it. There was a guy at the East Room Open Mic here in town,

got there early, had this huge camera set up. He was on stage setting it up. There was a ring light. It was crazy. And then he did get called. So then you have to go up. There was like a ring light. It was crazy. And then he didn't get called. So then you have to go up and take down all your camera equipment. Oh, it was beautiful,

dude. I actually loved it. Of course. You're like, Oh man, that's so great. You almost want to find out what his name is and don't call him. It's like,

yeah. What do you do? No, you, in your name in a hat. And then they pull it out. They pull it out. And that open mic, a lot of people try to get on it every week.

So a lot of people don't get up. Yeah, because they can only do so many people. Yeah, the show can't be eight hours long. Yeah. But it was cosmic justice. It's like, just do a camera. But he probably was like a TikTok guy, and he wanted to be like, I'm a stand-up comic.

Look how, you know. Yeah. Well, I think if you do that, you're probably going to, you need to talk to the person and go, hey, is there a night you can guarantee me to get it so I can film? Or wait till you get called and then set it up real quick. You know? I know, but how, but are you, oh, you're called. Yeah, there's like, that open mic, there's like 30 minutes between the drawing and the show. Oh, yeah, yeah. So there was no reason to get it all set up.

Oh, that's true. He could have just done it after that. Yeah, he did a lot of things wrong that night. Yeah. But God took care of it. He probably quit comedy that night. Yeah, probably that night. Yeah.

I wish him the best. I wish him well. Well, this week I thought we could talk a bit about some food. All right. I like that. Do you guys know the five food groups? Brains. Breads.

Breads. Vegetables. Fruits. Fruits. Meat. Meat. Starches. Poultry.

Poultry and meat got to be the same thing. Yeah. I was thinking eggs. Oh, that's dairy. Oh. Eggs are meat, aren't they? Y'all named them. Are eggs dairy?

I guess so. Fruits, vegetables, grains, protein foods, and dairy. What about chips? What about candy? Chips would fall under whatever potatoes falls under. Yeah, which is a vegetable? Yeah, I guess. Or a starch.

What are starches? You didn't think this through, did you, Brian? No, I didn't. Just thought I'd name the five food groups. But the food pyramid is really wrong. Isn't it? Yeah, it's all wrong now. And they did us wrong, and it's messed everybody up.

I thought the food pyramid was wrong even when I was a kid. This said it started in 1992 when I was already in college. Yeah. But the food pyramid, do you remember the food pyramid? Yeah. In school. And the bottom was- That's why the whole country's obese now.

That's right. It's all carbs at the bottom. Yeah. Grains at the base and veggies and fruits on the next tier. This whole idea of us only eating a little bit of meat is like, what's ruined everything. So what's the, why was the food pyramid?

Why was it so big at the bottom? It's like, that's just. So it's a pyramid. Wire grains at the bottom. But yeah, what's the. That was funny. It's a triangle, actually.

That is true. That is true. It's two-dimensional. Well, what's the numbers, Bon? I mean, I guess at that time they thought the science said grains was the most important thing for service. Yeah, I remember looking at this as a kid going, all right, I got to have six loaves of bread every day. I can have one bowl of candy. This is just the worst advice ever to give. Have as much vegetables as you do fruit. I think meat should be on the

bottom. That's what I thought. But I think the problem with using this shape is that I think meat should be on the bottom. That's what I think. But I think the whole, the problem with using this shape is that I think you look at this intuitively, you think whatever's at the top is the best. That's true. So the top of the pyramid, you know, top of the food chain, whatever. So you look at this and you go, all right, candy's king. Candy's the all-seeing eye. That's right. And then, you know, grains, that's at the bottom the bottom who cares about grains but there's a new food pyramid yeah they switched it up and now it's uh now it's an unreadable graph what is this well i think that's not even

up to date now now i think that they do my plate okay my plate did you send me this one you're my plate plan so they just abandoned visual aids huh well i think they're if you Okay. MyPlate. Did you send me this one? Your MyPlate plan. So they just abandoned visual aids, huh? Well, I think if you Google MyPlate, I think it would show you an image of it. MyPlate.gov? I don't know about that. Okay. So you just think about it. Oh, it's a pie graph now, but they don't want to use pie. I guess so. Because that implies sweets.

So it's a plate. My plate. They couldn't fit dairy in, so they made it like a cup. They made it like a cup of water. So it doesn't really make any sense. I don't think dairy was in the pyramid, was it? I think it was. They're saying that's what you should eat.

You should eat a corner of vegetables, some fruits, grains, and protein. But some of those corners, vegetables are the biggest one there. Not that much bigger. About the same size as grains. Right? Yeah. Yeah, I would say fruit and meat is what you should eat the most of.

Not vegetables. Fruit's sugar, dude. Yeah, but it's a different sugar. It's not a candy sugar. Yeah. But let it get to that point dude i didn't get where i am because i got into too much pineapple last night you know right exactly

that's funny i might do that on stage yeah that's good i don't know why you kept pointing at me, but. You like that joke? I mean, it is funny, but you kept pointing at me like it was my joke. That's one of Nate's best. Okay. It's one that's been popular on TikTok, apparently, where you devour all your information. So I thought you might have seen it. Oh, that's great. Well, maybe I have seen it.

Maybe I have seen it. That's great. But that got a lot. I mean, that's how good the joke is. I butchered the delivery. That's still got a lot. Yeah. I think Factor would probably want you to do another little call to action.

Say, you haven't only been eating Factor for the past three years. Oh, that's for sure. I supplement it with other things. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying as a... Oh, that's for sure. I supplement it with other things. What I'm saying is it's a heck of a weight loss plan. I mean, take it for me. It's all I eat. I think factor is like

the guy that walks on a treadmill 40 miles a day doing emails. He's like, I eat factor all day, every day. They're like, the guy that we've watched lose, then gain it back. I'm not all the way back. I'm not all the way back.

That's funny. You do need to be on Factor. I do need to be on Factor. I need to be on it more. I've gained all mine back. No. Yes, I mean, it's there. I mean, I've been drinking waters on these a little bit.

I'm back up to almost, I haven't touched 190, but 189. No, our first bet. Fatso over here. No, our first bet. He stayed the same. Yeah. He looked like this until he was born. Like he hasn't done, you know, I'm saying I've gone.

Right. You fluctuated. Yeah, I got to take a special. It's going to be this. It's not going to be good be good are you gonna have a line about it at the top well here we are uh here we are yeah set that at one of them here we are oh yeah no i don't think i i don't have one this time next thing i have another line about i have a line about eating better you know i gotta get on it it's just man it stinks it's hard it's very very hard and you just need to get built up this one dude that that uh tacoma comedy club had a green room with all the

candy oh yeah i did a weekend there and then i got sick i just think i ate too much candy oh yeah they have like a chex mix s'moresores, Rice Krispie Treat kind of bar. Yeah. I had like four of them, dude. I hadn't had sugar in two weeks. Yeah, the guy doing the guest set wiped out my green room. Yeah. I'm like, golly.

Yeah. Hey, did you hear my buddy comes in here? Oh, God. There you go. I hope it's not that guy. Who is it? It's who you think it is. You hear him coming in now.

Snacks! Everybody out. I love going, Brian, but I always go to Tacoma. It's the only place I'll go watching. Eating all the candy. Yeah. That thing. Back home now. back on factor.

I only factor. If I had a factor with me, I wouldn't have eaten all that candy. You want to look at the 30 healthiest foods to eat every day? See how many of these we eat? How many? 30 is a lot. 30 healthiest foods to eat every day.

We want to up your nutrition game. And then we'll look at the worst foods and we'll compare. Oatmeal. I can make oatmeal bad real quick. What do you put in there? Brown sugar? I can put enough brown sugar in it where it's brown sugar and I'm just sprinkling oatmeal in it. Yeah.

You crumble the muffin on top of it too. I'm the same way. Steel cut. What is that all about? Steel cut. i just think that's like just the real deal oatmeal it's not like i don't know for sure i mean i'm sure it's a way it's cut but i think it's like you get instant oatmeal i think you're not really doing does that mean it's cut on steel like they put it on steel like marble slab

like marbles with a knife they cut the oats i don't know oatmeal i guess i like oatmeal i don't eat it every day that's for sure avocado i've been eating avocados man just what do you do i skin it put a little salt on it just eat it like that wow just eat it plain like an apple no not like that with a spoon with a fork yeah i like that I feel like you miss a lot if you scoop it out with a spoon. So I just take the skin off it. I'm sure the salt helps. See if that's what it says. Make sure you douse it with salt

so you can get it down. This says drizzle. This is recommending you drizzle it with soy sauce. That's liquid salt. That's all soy sauce is. So I'm eating it healthier. Some walnuts. I like walnuts. Put a little chocolate milk in them and then

suck on them and spit them out. Like a hazelnut walnut. Mushrooms, disgusting. I don't like mushrooms. Disgusting. You can just ruin a dish. I like mushrooms, but I ain't eating them every day. Yeah. I like a mushroom.

I like mushroom and green peppers on pizza. That's what I like. It'll just ruin a pizza so quick. Yeah, I don't. I mean, it's fungus. I want that right now. You want this bowl? No.

Is that what you ordered? Mushroom pizza? This looks like pepper pizza. You think you'll eat that tonight? Nah. What will you eat tonight? I don't know. Well, hopefully my wife has cooked something and I'll eat something eat something exactly what is the point again yeah her yeah she's not

i'm just saying i hope she has yeah it'd be nice yeah you came home it'd be nice yeah if she did her job those are your words no this is what you say when you go off camera you go i do my job right she should go harvest something from your garden so well there's no garden yet i mean it's But you say when you go off camera, you go, I do my job. Right. She should go harvest something from your garden. Well, there's no garden yet. I mean, it's still a bit cold. Yeah. What will you eat tonight?

I don't know if I will eat tonight. This is what I tell myself around this time every day, I think. I'll just wait till tomorrow. But I'll end up eating something. Probably some pretzels. You won't eat at dinner? a little bit of peanut butter tip the pretzels into peanut butter no i won't eat an actual dinner i'll eat enough random things that it adds up to a dinner yeah but in my head i'll go i didn't have dinner yeah you know what i mean maybe some cheese cheese so your body's like we had dinner oh yeah my body's not complaining about it yeah yeah it's

like i'm getting your head's like your head's like we're fine yeah your body's like we're yeah we're fine too i basically fasted yeah what do you eat tonight whatever the old lady puts on the plate it better be hot and ready when i get home it's a little caesars greek yogurt on this list i like greek yogurt but i bet I eat the one that makes it Not what it should be I see a trend here Oh yeah you make all this stuff I think if you put

Honey or maple syrup Real maple syrup in there Then it's not so unhealthy Those are more natural I love eggs I can eat eggs everyday I followed this guy. I did it for about five days.

This guy on Instagram I found. He's British. He's a big bodybuilder guy. His whole thing is like eat eggs. So his meal plan was like at 2 p.m. you eat six eggs. And then later that day you eat like protein and an avocado. And let me tell you, dude, like six eggs a day gets old pretty quick. Yeah, it's tough to do.

Yeah, it's tough to just eat six eggs. Like you boil them? I was just scrambling them. Oh. For a while, I was doing two eggs a day. Two. But six eggs. Yeah, it's put salt on them.

Yeah. Put a little salt. A little salt, a little pepper. A little salt, a little pepper, a little butter. A little butter, yeah. Cheese. Yeah, dip it in ice cream. Lick it.

Feed it to the dog. The rest of it to the dog. Nice. Yeah. Edamame. I don't even know what that is. I don't think soy is healthy for you. Yeah, that's the thing you order and it's like a pea and everybody eats it.

I think it's a soybean, which is not good for you. We don't have those in Lebanon. Soy's not good for you? Soy sauce. Fermented soy is okay. And it's like usually you order as an appetizer. Kiwi. Kiwi.

I didn't have kiwi until recently when I was in Alaska, I think. The first time you had kiwi? Yeah. Really? Yeah, kiwi wasn recently when i was in alaska i think i had the first time you had kiwi yeah really yeah kiwi wasn't ever around yeah i feel like it's uh it shows up places now well you had money growing up and if we grew up in such a rich family yeah they have kiwi yeah i never had a raspberry till very late you have cantaloupe did you get into cantaloupe you can have no cantaloupe we couldn't afford any of this stuff. This was you were in the high 30 cents

at Winnipeg City. You were in the big times baby. And we were we were we had to get very localized fruit. I ate two cantaloupes

this weekend. I love cantaloupe. I like to judge someone on what fruit they have have had. And you go, wow, look at that. Yeah.

Raspberries. Do you grow canola? No. Dragon fruit? Yeah, and you're like, come on, dude. Melons are tough to grow. They make it seem easy, but it's tough. Sweet potato fries.

These are not. There's no way you're supposed to eat those every day. Well, it's a healthy alternative. I don't think they're saying eat all 30 of these things every day. What did it say? 30 things you should eat. They're not saying fries. They're not they're saying eat all 30 of these things every day. What did it say? 30 things you should eat. They're not saying fries. They're not saying fries.

30 healthiest foods to eat every day. You're right. You are right. But it just said sweet potatoes. The picture is deceiving. Wait, what does it say? Sweet potatoes. Oh.

The darker the color, the richer these tubers. Tubers? Who calls them that? I don't even know what that means. Does that mean this propaganda website real simple like youtubers antioxidant kale i guess you know it's green it's a super food i remember kale really coming around and being popular it just started showing up everywhere and it's just on every menu kale used to be the thing that was on a buffet that you put stuff on.

Like it was decoration on the buffet. Oh, and you would scoop the thing that was sitting in the kale. Yeah, you wouldn't eat. Yeah, it was just decoration. Yeah. And then they made it the star of the show. When you go out, would you get the ice from the buffet for your drink? Yeah.

Underneath all the food? Yeah. That's how we did it. That's how y'all did it. We wrenched out our dip cups and scooped it in there. You got to the end, and you go, there's some pretty good ice by the shrimp cocktail, and then scoop it out, and then go get it.

Barley. No one even knows what that is. Nobody. I've never known what barley is. Nobody eats barley. Pumpkin. Pumpkin. Not even. Maybe we go to the ones bad for you. that is no but i've never nobody eats barley pumpkin pumpkin not eating maybe we you would

go to the ones bad for you hannah actually does make barley sometimes it's pretty good it's like a thick rice hmm that's fine we got now we got a different list 76 unhealthiest foods which one of these i'm gonna get tonight this one's saying you may want to limit your consumption of these unhealthy foods yeah eat this, not that. Number one, bacon. Let me scroll past the part of the article. Everybody scrolls past. Who's reading the intro?

There's a story. I always think that when articles, yeah, when you read them now, it's like there is every beginning of an article. It's like a long story. So it's like it's Tuesday. It's cold outside. And I thought, you know what? Maybe I'll go try running. And then they go into this whole big thing.

And that thing will be like, is running good for you? Right. But then it's like a story. You're trying to get those keywords in. It's all SEO stuff. So you got to get all these keywords in. Yeah. So that the article can come up.

Search engine optimization. Search engine optimization. It's all just, you're putting words in. It's all, plus these are all AI generated articles now. So it's all just you're putting words in it's all plus these are all ai generated articles now so it's all fake oh really no i guarantee you yeah i part of my old job used to be to write blogs for companies yeah and dude if i had ai back then i would have i mean i would have been done with work by lunchtime monday oh just write just ai write them all you could have that job now.

Oh yeah, just do it on the side. Yes. I'd work for an hour. Just rails. But I was writing it all by hand. It was awful. Bacon, number one on this list. That's tough. It's tough to see bacon out that early. That seems like an attack on America. I haven't eaten bacon in 12 years.

Really? No pork. I don't eat pork at all. Did you enjoy it back in the day? I mean, it tastes good. Yeah. Yeah. It is good. Sometimes I'll have like a turkey bacon, which is probably worse for you than this bacon. And then I'll have, there's some beef bacon out there, which is pretty delicious.

You just don't like bacon. It's just, you know, one of your reasons. Number two, fast food breakfast. I had that this morning. Just lumping it. What'd you get, McDonald's? McDonald's. You go to McDonald's more than I do. I had that this morning. Just lumping in. What did you get, McDonald's? McDonald's. You go to McDonald's more than I do. Maybe.

When I'm on the road, if I'm on the road driving somewhere, I'll hit a McDonald's. You get the hotcakes, too? I don't get the hotcakes. I did the McGriddle this morning. And hash brown, too. Yeah, I mean. Hash brown is the only thing. I'll get two hash browns.

No, I'll get egg McMuffin, two hash browns. And a Dr. Pepper. Yeah. I'll get a Diet Coke. Hash brown is the only thing worth eating at McDonald's. That hash browns. No, I get egg McMuffin, two hash browns. And a Dr. Pepper? Yeah. I get Diet Coke. Hash browns are the only thing worth eating at McDonald's. That hash brown is delicious. Those McGrills are good. I can put some ketchup on some hash browns and eat it.

I love it. It's right across from my gate. What am I going to do? Number three is fast food burgers. I mean, this is just all my stuff. They're convenient and delicious, but it's considered one of the unhealthiest types of food and has been linked to health issues like diabetes.

I'm convinced. I think my sodium. I've always thought for me it's sodium. Sodium is my… That's what you want? I think I feel it the most. Oh, your sodium is high. My sodium, yeah.

I think I can feel sodium. I think it's what makes you feel bloated. All that salt. Yeah, your sodium is high. My sodium, yeah. I think I can feel sodium. I think it's going to make you feel bloated. All that salt. Yeah, all this stuff. Yeah, it's like if you get real salt, like sea salt or pink salt or Himalayan salt, all that kind of stuff, it can have real nutritional value. But this stuff is just loaded with not good stuff. Oh, well, they have some low-sodium fast food orders.

Suggestions on here if you want to check those out. Fast food French fries. Yeah, that's going to be. These are all the things I thought. Milkshakes. A milkshake will, I might be lactose intolerant, dude, because I drink a milkshake when my day is shot. It will light you up.

Yeah, it will. You're going to go get a colonoscopy right after. You go, I drank my own juice. What if you do the milkshake and the colonoscopy? I think that could happen. I've had pizza sometimes. It's like where, yeah, you can catch fire. Still do it.

Yeah. Had a milkshake this weekend. Still do it. A shake from White Castle. I had donuts this morning. I know. There's donuts downstairs. There's donuts downstairs.

I got donuts for my birthday. Man, they were good. And then donuts is next on the list. Oh, man. I wanted donuts today, too. It was a surprise. I didn't know I was getting donuts, and I woke up and ended up getting donuts for some

and that was... That started the day off for a right. This list says, when a craving strikes try splitting one with a friend yeah we're very big now yeah I mean it's

yeah you want to split a donut with me yeah what yeah Aaron and I ate the

most unhealthy fattening meal right before we went and tried on clothes and we both felt so bloated I think that's the move though

so then when you feel zipped up I don't want clothes to be fitted when i'm like at my best i want it to work always what'd you eat before i had a uh i had a big burger i had a big burger but what was the appetizer you got you have to out me like that. We got corn dogs. Well, we both ate them. I already got them for the table. He had an appetizer of corn dogs. Brian's going around all day going, we got corn dogs and telling everybody. I thought we could just share that in private.

They were really good. Yeah, coffee creamer is really bad. That's the next one. I don't use coffee creamer. I drink it black. Me too. It's the next one. I don't use coffee. I drink it black. Me too. It's the only way. Bleached white flour. Good bread.

That's where you got to go. Real sourdough. Real sourdough. That's where it's at. Do you make your own sourdough? No, I wish, though. Yeah. Sugar-added fruit juice.

That'll kill you, dude. That was on Delta. The crane apple. it's good right you like it oh man yeah it's because i could drink just sugar yeah i mean crane apple was like it's the best thing i've ever had in my life i would drink four or five of them i mean just like i go let's go and bring one more and i mean it's the only one. Diet soda is this awesome. I was going to say, this list is losing confidence. It's part of me. Why?

It's so bad. Because it's starting to affect my everyday life. So I'm going to choose to not believe it. Starting to affect it? It's like you took your number 10. I think that should be higher. I think number 10 is when you finally go, I was cool until 10. I go, I think diet sodas are my saving grace

they say that uh when you add sugar to fruit it makes the fruit like poison who says that eat this not that who's eating sugar on fruit well like if you're having you know like cran apple juice it's fruit in there and then you add sugar. I bet there's not much fruit in the cranial apples. And then diet soda. They get shipped in a box. This is my kind of episode. I mean, I'm all about these things. I didn't know we were going to talk about this, but I'm all about this. What's aspartame?

That's what everybody talks about. I did this for you. Thank you. Aspartame is, yeah, it's like It says it's been found to have the opposite effect. It was initially developed to aid weight loss, but it now has the opposite effect. It raises glucose levels, overloads the liver, and causes the excess to convert into fat. And what I've been told, and I could be wrong about this, but it's like your body, when you take in something sweet, like your body produces glucose to bond with it so that it can come out of your body. But like, so when you eat aspartame, it's not really sugar.

It's just sweet, but your body still, oh, insulin, not glucose produces insulin. So your body still produces it. And then there's nothing for it to bond to. So you just have this loose insulin in your body. And I think that's what really does bad things to you. I'm sure that's wrong. It's a real bummer. Yeah.

Now, I looked up. You just find out about this? No, I mean, it's just, you know, you hear this stuff and you just, I'll just tune it out and I'll just live life. And then people tell it to you. Sausage, more pork, all that. I've tuned everything out. He just said. I have no idea what he said.

You could have tuned it out. Yeah, you got to get it. Just for the listeners. I couldn't even tell you. I mean, I looked and nodded. Yeah. I figured that's what you guys do every time I start. No.

No. That one I get it. Yeah. So I looked up how much water you should drink a day. This said take your weight, split it in half, and then whatever that is in pounds, turn it to ounces, and that's how many ounces you should drink a day. That seems excessive. I'm about a gallon of water a day. That's what you're supposed to drink.

Sugary cereal? That means a 200-pound man. That's my downfall. That'd be 100 ounces a day. Yeah. Well, how much is a gallon? Isn't that 16 ounces? No, about 98 or something a day. Yeah. Well, how much is a gallon? Isn't that 16 ounces? No, about 98 or something.

Oh. 180. Yeah. I weigh 180, so. So that'd be 90 ounces of water you should drink a day. So how many is a gallon? Golly, dude. Google.

It's just these other dumb dog the brave search engine sticks yeah it's like you just you really just only supposed to drink water that's what what are we doing here 128 128 ounces to a gallon i was way off i said 16 i was like i gotta drink five gallons a day i was thinking it was like 75 percent a gallon about four liters because i'll have a liter bottle water and i should is a gallon i try to drink a gallon a day you drink a gallon a day i try to yeah and they say you should put you know and i don't do this either but i say you should put a little touch of like salt like just to help your body absorb it dasani well dasani has a bunch of weird stuff and i don't trust their salt but

you bring your own you've gone back and forth on dasani a few times well it's like when i discovered the salt thing i was like well maybe dasani is on to something but then i was like yeah but i don't really trust their salt like table salt versus like sea salt is different you know so table salt versus what versus like you know himalayan salt or like rock salt mineral salt they're different uh yeah it's like it's a lot i mean i'm not'm not, you know, it's not funny. This food game is not funny games out here. Yeah, it's tough. I know.

You're serious about it. It's tough. It's hard. Yeah, it's hard. I mean, we're just all trying to live out here. Right. I think you and I are consistent. Nate, and I guess you too, we probably all grew up with parents that did not eat healthy.

We ate a lot of fast food, and you learn your eating habits generally from your parents my dad would eat it's hard to break it every meal if he could yeah he would have what waffle house every meal yeah but i don't i don't ever think it's you know it's not your parents fault it's they're they're it's just no one no one has the food was just not talked about like it is now they had the food pyramid. Yeah, you had the food pyramid. You had like – everybody's got kids. I mean, everybody's just making dinner to eat dinner. You're just – it's busy, no money. Like there's no reason to – why would – you just can't.

Yeah, I totally agree. I'm not saying to blame, but I have friends who eat really healthy. I'm like, where do you get the discipline? And they grew up that way. Hannah grew up that way. Well, she grew up that way hannah grew up that way well she grew up her parents really like cared about what she grew up in canada yeah and they really cared about what she ate and they force you to up there yeah yeah well now they do but they yeah i mean some people the other just yeah they're they just were born the other families just into yeah healthy kind of food into caring about their kids yeah how lame is that yeah well like it is like it is lame in a sense like Hannah would say like on Friday night their their parents would give them like a little bowl of chips and then they

would get some soda like between the three of them they would split a coke i mean when i was a kid i was drinking four or five cokes a day before right it was that little diet doctor they were just in the fridge and i just could help myself it was dr thunder yeah you know some off brand but it was we bought choice bought it by the case and sometimes most of the time i was drinking at room temp i mean i even care you know yeah yeah i think it's, I mean, it's just the knowledge of what this food does. You just, no one really knows and now they're looking at it and now we're like, oh, it's yeah. We're really, really got a problem. And these things are,

you know, even Southern cooking that my mom still now, but I'm not great with Harper. Yeah. She needs to eat better, but I, and I still eat, I don't eat. Laura is the better one, but it's just hard. It is. It's hard, but you've got to be self-disciplined, so you just have to do it. You have to figure it out on your own.

No one's going to figure it out. That's why I go back. I lost all this weight for this last special, and I'm back to basically where we started. Or if you can't figure it out on your own, hire a trainer to travel with you. I can out-talk anybody. But we can try to do it.

Well, the road is where I do all this stuff. When I come home, it's just the wheels come off. And my brain can't think of – like I really would need to learn to cook. That's probably the best thing someone could do is you'd learn – I don't know how to cook. So I can't think of, like I really would need to learn to cook. That's probably the best thing someone could do is you'd learn. I don't know how to cook, so I can't cook anything. Well, I was going to say, southern cooking, like I grew up with, like my mom did, still does. I didn't realize then, or until now, just how unhealthy that is in a lot of ways. The way we cook in the south, there's just a lot of bad things.

But I bet it's still better than if i think you're cooking mcdonald's yeah i think if you're cooking home meal like that's why i don't think people back where they weren't there were no fast food there was no in this minute grab something to eat like you had to go no margarine yeah you just can't uh all our oils yeah yeah and you just can't you can't eat. You had to really go wait to eat something. I read even olive oil. Then you go make a sandwich.

I read that there's not enough trees to produce as many enough olives to make all the olive oil that's for sale. It's impossible. So much olive oil that's being sold is fake. It's not even real olive oil. Because there's not even real olive oil. Like, because there's not enough trees to make enough olive. And there's three trillion trees. Yeah. But not all olive trees.

Well, most of them. Yeah. A good part of them are. Yeah. At least 80%. There's three trillion trees? Yeah. Rough estimate.

Yeah. Take a sample size. We learned that on the platen trees episode yeah uh i got six in my backyard so well to that uh there's eight billion people everybody's got a backyard so just tree chilling trees yeah adds up i think mm-hmm uh sounds like a good place to stop this has been great it's been good alright yeah I'm off this weekend

I could be working but I'm off then this weekend's Easter right it is it's Holy Week April 6 I am in Miamisburg Ohio at the Plaza Theater so I hope for a lot of folks to come out there 6th, I am in Miamisburg, Ohio at the Plaza Theater.

So I hope for a lot of folks to come out there. April 20th, I'm in Moberly, Missouri at 4th Street Theater. I do theaters now. I've graduated from clubs. I'm a theater comic. April 20th, I'm going to

Connecticut for the first time I've never been to Connecticut I'm at Fairfield, Connecticut at Fairfield Circle when did you stay at the Fairfield Inn?

maybe so that would be sweet maybe so so I'm excited to go there maybe your buddy Dusty T Mike 1000

will come out oh yeah well he will if you yeah I mean you want me to tell him yeah i'll tell him to come he'll come and uh he came to my show did i talk about that he came to my show in hartford and

came showed up you talked about on your podcast okay he came in he came with his mom show was sold out he didn't have any tickets so i got him some tickets and then he came into the green room and we're hanging out the server comes back there and he goes, can I get you anything? He goes, I have a Bud Light. He made himself at home like Aaron in your green room. But I thought it was fun. I liked it. He had just caught himself on fire, actually, too. He's a welder.

He had third-degree burns on his shoulder. Third-degree? Oh, man. He just made it. He had to get a graft from his leg up to his shoulder. And he made the show. How did his leg look? I didn't look at it,

but you're wearing pants. Yeah. He was wearing pants and you know, which you don't, you don't know that that's going to be always be the case, but it goes by T Mike 1000. So yeah, he's going to be a fun guy.

He does. I don't think he goes by that anymore. He was Thomas Michael is his name, but he was going by T Mike 1000 for a comedian. Yeah, he was short period of time. He's a welder now um not for now this weekend is there and we're talking by the way this weekend i'm in las vegas nevada at wise guys comedy club one of the arts district they got two rooms there now but i'm at

the smaller one i believe wise guys Wise Guys in Las Vegas, Nevada. Please come out. It's going to be hot. March Madness going on again. March Madness. I'm going to go check out the Sphere. I'm going to go check out the Sphere. I went.

How was it? We went to the Sphere. Did you go do the demonstration? Or did you go to a show there? We went to whatever show they do that's the 45, the one that they do every day. Yeah, that's the one I went to the whatever show they do that's the 45 you know like the one that they do every day yeah that's the one and uh check out yeah it's crazy it's

like going in there it's a whole you know it's just about like climate change i think so is it really but it's like showing you yeah just to check out the screen yeah so just a lot of electricity used to tell us to stop using as much electricity it is very funny because it is it is a thing that's like it's just telling you earth and you know the general idea we're ruining it and all this but it's like they're uh you know they showed like video of like these other people countries grabbing water you basically you know you pay that money to go watch a video of poor people picking stuff out of fields you You can do that on YouTube. But you do it on a big screen.

Is it worth checking out, you think? I mean, is that cool? Yeah. It doesn't sound like it. It was, look, I would, I think what I've heard is, I've heard if you go to like the concert or something like that, I think it's like kind of crazy. And that's probably a little, it's a lot more different stuff this was crazy i'm going to go do it just to see it just to have your like you're like okay i know what it is that's all i want to do i think the outside is i'm the probably the most impressed with the outside i might just go to the outside and go i don't even need to see the inside find

out what a ticket cost and then take that they're Take that money, go to the blackjack table, and tell somebody, you take this. Well, just go bet it on. Go take your $100, put it on black or red. And if you win it, you go to the sphere. If you lose it, you don't go to the sphere. If you win, go buy a steak and eat it outside of the sphere. You see the sphere when you fly in. Oh, you do.

Yeah, the outside is unreal. The outside is really, really unreal. I think it's going to get, there's going to be a lot of stuff sphere. You see the sphere when you fly in. Oh, you do? The outside is unreal. The outside is really, really unreal. I think it's going to get, there's going to be a lot of stuff there. The show, like, you know, if the show starts at 2, it won't start until 3. They have, like, AI computers in the lobby or something.

I didn't go, we didn't go early. We got there, show started at 3, we got there like 2.45. When you go in there, it's not like it's sold out. It's, you know, but you're just all kind of sitting in the 200 section, I think is where you want to sit. And I mean, dude, when they have earth coming at you on the screen, I mean, it feels, there's moments like you feel like you're on a ride.

Like you feel like you're like, you're going down. It's very, I think you would like it. You like this stuff. You like, but it's like, you know, you would like it. You like this stuff. You like it. Yeah. But it's like, you know, you look at it. You'd be into the propaganda of it. Yeah.

If you look at the IMAX, it's like if you've been to an IMAX screen. Yeah. You're going to kind of get the idea. I honestly kind of believe you're like, it's just the IMAX on steroids. So you're just kind of like, okay, yeah. Like, yeah, it's more but okay it's uh that's what i my honest review of this fear now grass tyson comes out and it's real condescending to you the whole time greta comes out how dare you and it's well that's what yeah i mean there's

they show some they show some animal like an elephant walking that's pretty cool like so like they show some of that. But at the end of it, it's like we shouldn't be on this planet. I think that's the goal of it. I'm already halfway there. It's perfect for Vegas because they're like, you know what? By the time you leave, you feel so worthless. You're like, I'll just use all this money on gambling.

I think it's all part of it. What does it mean anyway? Who cares? They showed the mining, I think, where they mine for telephones or lithium. gamble yeah i think it's all it's all part of it what does it mean anyway yeah who cares it is they showed the mining i think where it's like you know they mine for telephones or lithium or yeah it is funny i mean you're all you're in is an electric ball like it's just the most just in an mri machine yeah all the stuff they're showing you like to make this thing is the number one problem this thing is the number one problem.

It's, I mean, it can't be good. That's what I always say. I'll believe that the government is serious about climate change when they shut down the Vegas Strip or Times Square, when they say we're using too much electricity here. When they do that, I'll go, you know what? Maybe they're serious about this. I don't think it'll happen. Never happen.

They'll tell you to stop running your air conditioner so Times Square can promote a movie and no one's watching. Yep. It'd be a cool movie, though. Salt and Nightmare. Yeah. I'd actually watch that. Yeah, that'd be like, if you saw a movie there, it'd be...

It'd be cool. It's cool, though. It's crazy. I mean, it's a big, big thing. If you want to go see it knock it off you're there you might as well you know i think it's the most impressive thing humans have made in a long one i agree but i and i think it's the outside for me that's the outside is insane okay because you can you're seeing this stuff during the day there's an eyeball on it there's i mean it's unbelievable yeah yeah watching the but the outside when you land and they have a basketball it's just so detailed to me the outside is okay is wild okay

i heard garcia went to both greg garcia you two and that and he was like if he went again he's like you two it's a complete. He said they're completely two different experiences. But the U2 one's a little more. Like, if you had to pick one, it's like, that's going to be more fun. And, you know, like, but this one's more of like, you just kind of go on and be like, let me just see. Yeah. I'm going to go. What is this?

Yeah. All right. They're going to a UFC fightc fight there oh so that would be fun that's cool so they start doing something and that's how you fight climate change yeah would you do the sphere in vegas put climate change in the ring yeah i say all this to be yeah if i ever do the sphere i'll be like whatever i said about the sphere guys i need you to come out yeah to the sphere uh to the inside. Yeah, to the inside.

The inside this time will be better than the outside. Right. Well, but I'm saying the inside, if they had like a big movie, if they had like, you know, if you were watching like some, if they made a movie, the thing is that I don't think they have anything filmed for that. No, it's all new. So if you filmed something that was like an act or something that was for, you're using cameras for that where the stuff's just flying overhead,

it would be awesome. What a waste of that technology to just do a stand-up show there. Just a brick wall on the screen. Yeah. What I said, I did say something to my agent. We were just talking and I was like, I mean, you could maybe animate your act. So as you're talking, you have your act kind of being animated and you could have stuff be popping.

So you're trying to take people. I mean, when you're up there, you're kind of like going like, all right, it's a story. But if I did that, I don't even know if I would need to be the one performing. It's like it would be better to like have the CD or whatever whatever the audio of it yeah and then just be like you go in there and like it's just this and you're watching like all these things happening laser show yeah yeah yeah i don't know if you have all that technology i don't know if it's going to be i think it's going to the inside i bet just gets better and better and better because they're going

to end up making stuff where you're going to go in there and just be like, stuff's everywhere. Yeah. That's cool. All right. Well, this weekend, I'm going to be in Ponte Vedra, Florida, outside of Jacksonville and doing a theater, but that show is sold out. So I just wanted to tell you about it. And then I'll be in Atlanta. That show is not sold out, but it is close. I'll be at a theater there, too. I'm trying to tell you what the name of it is, but I don't think I have it here. The Symphony? Aren't you doing something? I don't think I have something.

The Mayo Clinic? No. Not the Mayo Clinic. You might be spending some time there. That's an ad. The Woodruff Art Center. The Woodruff Art Center. The Woodruff Art Center. It's not sold out yet.

Now I am really launching into a straight up theater run. Come on out. I'm doing this weekend and then I got the weekend off. After that, it's like theater, theater, theater, theater. We're adding shows now. That Carnegie of Homestead's a great place yeah i'm pumped about it yeah that's like an old school theater oh yeah it's a really cool

theater yeah i'm pumped i mean we've been adding shows in some places and uh there's more to be announced uh you know there will be some mixed in there where they're not theaters but i'm on i'm on the theater run now so it's very exciting that's really cool i'm pumped that's awesome how much time will you do uh well you know you know what you never know this weekend in uh my first show in lincoln nebraska i did an hour 25 minutes well uh i i was due i was going to do an hour 10 and then someone requested a joke so i started to do the joke and then he started yelling out he started yelling out other things and i'm like well i'm doing the joke you asked me so i made fun of him

for a while and uh it was really fun and uh took on a life of its own so i did an hour 25 next show i did an hour 15 so i i want to do i want to do an hour 15, hour 20 every show. That's what I want to do. I was told that Stephen Wright just does the whole 90 minutes himself. That is where I'd like to go eventually, I think. I think that'd be fun, just to be like the kind of show where I'm just like, you're sitting in a theater, and then they go, the show begins, and then I come out, and I just do the show.

That's what I'd like to do. One man show. Yeah. Yeah, I see that. You have no opening acts, I guess. You just have... Yeah, you just do the show. But in a way, I don't know.

I kind of like... I would like somebody to do five or 10, get it going. Well, the idea is you bring people so people can find out about other people yeah whatever but i could see you doing you wouldn't want anybody on the show yeah i don't think you're here to move things forward no no it's you have this huge thing going you got the arena show so it's like it is fun to bring a bunch of people out but i think with the theater it's fun to be like yeah i brought them out in theaters too yeah okay but i understand the idea i'm bringing them clubs yeah yeah i understand the idea i do get it like you just come out and you go i'm here to see this person

yeah and so i'm calling quinn does a uh i think just that one person so yeah and so i'm just giving them it's your yeah it fits in what you're acting. Yeah. I mean, I would eventually like, cause it's like, I was, I felt like I was doing a more artsy type thing. And then I, I got into clubs. I started working the road and then I like became a club comic where I had to really adapt to work in the road. And now that I'm getting into theaters, I would like to get back to a bit of a, more of an artsy thing. You know, a lot of successful people do that is the go away from what made you successful yeah so when it wasn't working

and then you switch it up and it starts catching on fire and then you go what if i go back to the part in my life where it didn't work but it was working okay okay but artistically but i just had to i had to i started doing a different kind of rhythm. Right. Yeah. So I had to make it work for the rhythm. You're, you're, I, I, I'm joking with you. You're, you will naturally just change.

Yeah. Because it does. My acts completely change. You stay the person that you are, but you just will change. Right. Because you're in a bigger place. It's a different pacing. Yes.

Everything is just kind of different. You're the entire show. You can't be just like up there like it's like you just do it in a completely different way that and that is the beautiful thing about stand-up and that's the what i love the most about it is every next step is i've got to do this and be different. And so then you're like, well, how do I do what I do? But it's in a different setting. I wouldn't feel uncomfortable doing my arena. I mean, I would do the jokes. I do the jokes in a club.

I mean, that was wild with Vegas because Vegas is 1,400 seats. So I did six shows, 1,400 seats, and then go to two shows each of 15,000 people in the round. I mean, it was just like, it's like wild to be like, you know. Yeah, because it's wild for me right now to go, and one week I'm doing a club show where people are right up on me, and it's a packed club club and they're right there. And then the next week I'm in a theater where people are a little further back.

It's a little more spread out. You know what I mean? We know what we're talking about. Hang in there, buddy. Yeah. But that's the beautiful thing. It will change. You stay you and then, but how you deliver stuff just cause it's bigger and it's just – Yeah, I'm an artist. You do. You know what I mean? Yeah.

That's what I am at heart. Yeah. A true artist. Yeah. Artist of food. Yeah. You like to grow your own food. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Yeah, people don't like to give stand-up comedy the art credit that it deserves. Look, I love the art of stand-up. Yeah. You're telling a story. It's just you talking and you're doing stuff. I hope comics, young and coming up now,

I'll take them on the road. You obviously won't. But they can maybe open the doors for you. You take two comics on the road and you go, do we get to go up? You go, no, no, no. You get to watch me. You're the openers.ers you open things open my merch suitcase a new phrase i'm opening

you go like this door i'm trying to get in right now i shouldn't be open uh no it's yes it's i do agree i think it's it's fun to be it's, I do agree. I think it's, it's fun to be, it's, it's about being funny, have a lot of laughs. You know, the idea of the last per minute, you want a bunch of laughs per minute, make sure you have those, but it's fun to, uh, gradually, you know, you get into bigger places and then it just changes. changes yeah that's great uh all right uh yeah i'll be in i don't know i think reno next i'm off this one there's good planning i'm about to be jammed out though uh for the rest till the end of the tour good planning that we're both off so we don't compete with each other is that you mean yeah for what you kind of pointed to me and said for what good planning that's for what no i didn't know what you mean like we were in the same town i don't know you pointed to me you're like i don't think i didn't mean to point oh okay yeah we're both off i go oh you're off yeah oh yeah that's your reply like no no i figure you're always off and well, I am most of the time.

Wide open. Come to Brian Bates' wide open tour. That'd be funny. Yeah. And then you go, where's the tour? You tell me. Who's willing? You got to go. And it's a tour that is on demand.

I like the idea of a poster that says the wide open tour and it's just dates. Yeah. It's just the 2024 calendar. Yeah. You tell us when you want me to come. Yeah. I'm available. No, it's, we go, I think Reno, Sacramento.

There's a few, I'm probably forgetting a couple of that. And then next week is the San Jose and then the special tape and excited to tape the special. I'm probably forgetting a couple of that. And then next week is the San Jose and then the special tape and excited to tape the special. I'm very excited. I want to get this special taped

and then start figuring out new stuff. So, yeah, that's all coming up. But, you know, Mark, that's it. We love you. Have a wonderful week.

A little 224, over two hours. Yeah. How about it? A little Dusty Slay show right here. Yeah. That week. A little 224. We did over two hours. Yeah. How about it? A little Dusty Slay show right here. That's right. That is true. A little crowd work.

A little crowd work. Mix it in. All right. See you next week. Bye. Bye. Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me nate bargetzi and my wife laura on the audio boom platform recording and editing for the show is done by genovations media thanks for tuning in

be sure to catch us next week on the nateland podcast